1
(liquid dripping)
(loud snoring)
Make it fast.
Don't want the boys
to get wise.
Jees!
(laughs)
Ain't the old bastard
a riot
when he starts
that bull about
"turnin' over a new leaf"?
"Not a damn drink
on the house," he tells me,
"and all these bums have gotta
pay up their room rent
beginning tomorrow,"
he says.
(both men laughing)
I'm glad to pay up...
tomorrow.
And I know my fellow inmates
will promise the same.
They've all
a touching credulity
concerning tomorrows.
It'll be a great day
for them tomorrow,
The Feast of All Fools.
And their ships will come in
loaded to the gunwales,
with cancelled regrets
and promises fulfilled,
and clean slates
and new leases.
Yeah, and a ton of hope!
Don't mock their faith.
You no respect
for religion,
you unregenerate Wop?
What does it matter
if the truth is
that their favoring breeze
will have the stink
of nickel whiskey
on its breath?
And their sea
will be a growler
of lager and ale?
And their ships will long since
be looted and scuttled,
and sunk
on the bottom?
The hell with the truth.
The history of the world
proves that truth
has no bearing
on anything.
It's the lie of the pipe dream
that gives life to the whole
misbegotten mad lot of us,
drunk or sober.
The old Foolosopher,
like Hickey calls you.
I suppose you don't fall
for no pipe dreams.
No, I don't.
Mine are dead and buried
behind me.
What's before me
is the fact
that death
is a fine long sleep.
I'm damn tired,
and it can't come
too soon for me.
Yeah, just hangin' around,
hopin' you croak, ain't you?
Well, I'm bettin' you have
a good long wait.
Jees, somebody'd have
to take an ax to croak you!
(both chuckling)
Yeah, it's my bad luck to be
cursed with an iron constitution
that even Harry's booze
can't corrode.
The old Anarchist wise guy
that knows
all the answers.
Forget the anarchist
part of it.
I'm through with
the Movement long since.
I saw that,
if men wanted to be safe
from themselves,
that would mean they'd
have to give up greed.
I wouldn't pay
that price for liberty.
So I said to the world,
"God bless all here
"and may
the best man win...
and die of gluttony."
I took a seat
in the grand stand
of philosophical detachment.
Fall asleep
observing the cannibals
do their death dance.
Ain't I telling him
the truth, Comrade Hugo?
Oh, for Chrissake!
Don't get
that bughouse bum started!
(thick Russian accent)
Capitalist swine!
Bourgeois stool pigeons!
Have the slaves
no right to sleep even?
(giggling)
Hello, little Rocky,
little monkey face!
Where are your little
slave girls?
(giggles)
Don't be a fool,
loan me a dollar!
Damned bourgeois Wop!
Buy me a drink!
(snoring)
He's out again.
He's lucky no one don't take
his cracks serious,
or he'd wake up every morning
in a hospital.
"Nobody takes him
seriously?"
That's his epitaph.
I've been through with
the Movement long since.
It's been through with him.
And thanks to whiskey,
He's the only one
that doesn't know it.
He's goin' to pull that
slave girl stuff on me
once too often.
Hell, you'd think
I was a pimp or somethin'.
A pimp don't hold a job.
I'm a bartender!
Them tarts,
Margie and Pearl,
they're just a sideline
to pick up some extra dough.
Strictly business,
like they were fighters
and I was their
manager, see?
I fixed the cops for them,
so they can hustle
without gettin' pinched.
And I don't beat 'em up
like a pimp would.
They like me!
What if I,
I take their money?
Tarts can't hang on
to dough.
But I'm a bartender
and I work hard
for my living
in this dump.
Shrewd businessman
who doesn't miss
an opportunity
to get on in the world, huh?
And that's me;
grab another ball,
Larry.
You'd never think
all these bums
had a bed upstairs
to go to.
Scared if
they hit the hay
they wouldn't be here
when Hickey showed up,
and they'd miss
a couple of drinks.
Me, it's not so much
the hope of booze,
but I've got the blues.
And Hickey's a great one
to make a joke of everything
and cheer you up.
Yes, some kidder!
Remember how he works up
that gag about his wife
when he's cockeyed?
Crying over a picture
and then spilling in
on you all of a sudden
that he left her in the hay
with the iceman?
(chuckles)
Yeah, I wonder
what's happenin'.
You could set your watch
by his periodicals
before this.
We always got here
a couple of days
before Harry's
birthday party,
and now he's only got
'till tonight to make it.
This dump...
(chuckles)
is like a morgue with
all these bums passed out.
It's a lie, Papa!
(sobbing)
Papa!
Poor devil.
Ah, the hell with pity!
It does no good,
I'm through with it.
Dreamin' about
his old man.
From what
the old timers say,
the old gent
sure made a pile of dough
on a bucket-shop game
before the cops got him.
Jees!
I've seen him bad before
but never this bad.
Look at that get-up.
Sold his suit and shoes
at Solly's two days ago.
Solly give him two bucks
and a bum outfit.
Yesterday he sells the bum
one back to Solly
for four bits
and gets these rags
to put out,
now he's through.
That's Solly's
final edition
and he wouldn't take back
for nothin'.
Willie sure is
on the bottom.
I ain't never seen
no one so bad except Hickey
on end of a couple
of his bats.
It's a great game,
the pursuit of happiness.
I don't even know
what to do about him.
He called up
his old lady's lawyer,
like he always does
when Willie gets licked.
You remember,
they used to send down
a private dick
to give him
the rush to a cure.
But the lawyer
tells Harry nix.
The old lady is off of Willie
for keeps this time,
and he can go to hell.
(grunting)
There's a consolation
he hasn't got far to go.
Ahhhh!
It's a goddamned lie!
Nix, nix!
Oh, papa!
Hey, you, nix!
Cut out the noise!
Oh, Jesus, papa!
Shhh!
Cut out the...
Who's that yelling?
Willie, boss,
the Brooklyn boys
is after him.
Then why don't you give
the poor fella a drink
and keep him quiet?
Bejees, can't I get a wink
of sleep in my own back room?
Listen to the blind-eyed
old bastard, would you?
He give me strict orders
not to let Willie
hang up no more drinks,
no matter what...
What's that?
I can't hear ya.
You're a cockeyed liar.
Never refused a drink
to anyone
needed bad in my life.
Told you to use
your judgment!
You're too busy
thinkin' up ways to cheat me.
And I ain't as blind
as ya think.
I can still see
a cash register, bejees.
Oh, sure boss,
swell chance
of foolin' you.
I'm wise to you
and your sidekick, Chuck.
Bejees, you're burglars,
not barkeeps!
You'd steal the pennies
of your dead mother's eyes.
I'll fire both of you.
No one never played
Harry Hope for a sucker.
No one but everybody.
The least you could do
is keep things quiet.
Give me a drink,
Rocky.
Harry said
it was all right.
God, I need a drink.
Then grab it,
it's right under your nose.
Thank you.
When!
When!
I didn't say
"Take a bath!"
Jees, look!
He's killed
a half pint or more!
Leave him be,
the poor devil.
(belches)
A half pint of
that dynamite in one swig
will fix him for a while,
if it doesn't kill him.
All right by me,
it ain't my booze.
Who-whose booze?
Give me some!
Where's Hickey?
What time is it,
Rocky?
Getting near time
to open up.
Time you begun
to sweep up in the bar.
Never mind the time.
If Hickey ain't come,
it's time Joe
went to sleep again.
Hey...
I got a idea!
Say, Larry,
what about
that young guy, Parritt?
Come look you up last night
and rented a room.
He's upstairs asleep.
No hope there, Joe,
he's broke.
Me and Rocky
know different.
He had a roll when he
paid you his room rent.
Didn't he, Rocky?
Yeah, he flashed it
like he forgot
and then
tried to hide it quick.
He did, did he?
Yeah.
I figured
he don't belong,
but he said he was
a friend of yours.
He's a liar!
Ah, it's true, his...
his mother and I
were friends
a few years ago
on the coast.
Did you read in the papers
about that
bombing on the coast
where a few people
were killed?
Well, the one woman
they pinched,
Rosa Parritt,
is his mother.
They'll be coming up
for trial soon,
they haven't got a chance.
She'll get life.
I'm telling you all this
so you'll know why,
if Don acts a bit queer
and not jump on him.
He's her only kid.
Why ain't he out there
stickin' by her?
Must be a good reason.
I get it.
Then what kind of a sap is he
to hang on to his right name?
I'm telling you,
I don't know.
And I don't want to know!
The hell with the Movement
and everybody
connected with it.
(laughing)
If there's one thing
more than another
I can't stand
it's the sucker game
you and Hugo calls
"Movement."
Reminds me of
a damn full argument
me and Mose Porter
had the other night.
He's drunk
and I'm drunker,
and he says,
"Socialists and anarchists,
we ought to shoot 'em dead."
I-I said:
"Hold on, hold on."
"You talk as if
the socialists"
"and anarchists
was the same thing."
"Anarchist..."
"never works."
"He drinks,
he never buys,"
and if you do ever
get a nickel,
"he blows it on bombs,
"but he wouldn't
give you nothin'.
"So you can go ahead
and shoot him.
"But, uh, socialists...
"sometimes he gets a job.
"If he gives 10 bucks,
"he's bound
by his religion
"to split it with ya
50-50.
"So you don't shoot
no socialist
"while I'm around.
"Of course,
if they broke,
then they're no-good,
bastards, too."
(giggling)
Be God, Joe!
You've got all
the beauty of human nature
and the practical wisdom
of the world
in that little parable.
(laughing)
Sure.
Larry ain't the only
wise guy in this dump.
Eh, Joe?
Here's your guy.
Hello, Larry.
Hello.
What's up?
Thought you'd be asleep.
I couldn't make it,
I, uh, thought I might see
if you were around.
Well...
sit down
and join the bums then.
The rules of the house
are that drinks may be served
at all hours.
Oh, I get you but, uh,
hell, I'm just about broke.
Oh, I know,
you guys saw...
You think I have a roll,
don't you?
Well, I'll show you
you're wrong.
You see?
They're all one's.
See, I've got to live on this
'till I get a job.
So you think I made
up a phony, don't you?
Well, why the hell
would I do that?
Where would I get
a roll anyway?
You don't get rich doin'
what I've been doin', ask Larry.
You're lucky in the Movement,
you get enough to eat.
What's the song
and dance about?
We ain't said nothin'.
Oh... Oh, I was just tryin'
to put you right.
Hey, I don't want you
to think I'm a tightwad.
I'll buy you a drink
if you want one.
"If?"
Man, if I don't want
a drink,
you call the morgue
and you tell them.
"Come take
Joe's body away,
'cause he sure look dead."
Now gimme the bottle,
quick, Rocky,
before he changes
his mind.
I'll take a cigar
when I go in the bar.
What are you havin'?
Oh, nothin',
I'm on the wagon.
What's the damage?
15 cents.
That must be some booze.
It's cyanide
cut with carbolic acid,
to give it a mellow flavor.
Here's luck.
I guess I'll get back
in the bar
and catch
a couple of winks
before opening up time.
One-drink guy.
No hope till
Harry's birthday party,
unless Hickey
shows up.
If Hickey
do come later,
you wake me up
if you have to bat me
with a chair.
(laughing)
Who's Hickey?
A hardware drummer.
He's an old friend
of Harry Hope's
and all the gang.
He's a grand guy.
Comes here twice
a year regularly
on a periodical drunk,
and blows in
all his dough.
He doesn't run into anyone
he knows in his business here.
Oh, yes, that's what
I want, too, Larry.
But like I told you
last night,
I gotta stay undercover.
You did a lot of hinting,
but you didn't
tell me anything.
Well, you can guess,
can't you?
So what kind
of joint is this, anyway?
This?
This is
"No Chance Saloon,".
"Bedrock Bar,."
"End of The Line Caf,."
"The Bottom of the Sea
Rathskeller."
Don't you notice
the beautiful calm
in the atmosphere?
That's because
this is the last harbor.
No one here has to worry about
where they're going next,
'cause they can
go no further.
Although even here
they keep up
the appearance of life
with a few harmless
pipe dreams
about their yesterdays
and tomorrows.
What's your
pipe dream, Larry?
Oh, I'm the exception...
I haven't any left,
thank God.
Don't complain
about this place,
you couldn't find a better
for lying low.
Oh, I'm glad of that.
I got, uh,
knocked off base
by that business
in the coast.
Since then it's been no fun
dodging around the country
thinking every guy you see
might be a dick.
You're safe here,
cops ignore this dump.
(sighs)
They think it's
as harmless as a graveyard.
And be God, you know,
they're right.
And it's been lonely as hell.
Christ, I'm glad
I found you, Larry.
You know, I kept,
I kept saying to myself:
If I can just find Larry,
he's the one guy in the world
who can understand.
"Understand" what?
All I've been through.
Oh...
Oh, now you're thinking,
"This guy has a hell of a nerve.
I haven't seen him
since he was a kid."
Well, I've never
forgotten you, Larry.
You're the one
friend of mother's
who ever paid any
attention to me.
I remember you used
to ask me questions,
you took what I said
seriously?
I guess I got the feeling
in the years you lived with us,
you'd sort-of, you know,
taken the place of my old man.
I don't suppose
you remember it.
Ah, I remember it
very well.
You were a lonely,
serious little shaver then.
Why didn't they
pick you up
when they got your mother
and the rest?
Oh, I wasn't around.
And, as soon as
I heard the news,
I went under cover.
You've noticed
my glad rags here,
well, I will stake to them
as a disguise,
and then I, you know,
hung around gambling joints
and pool halls,
and hooker shops.
Places where they wouldn't
look for a Wobblie.
By pretending I was a...
a sport.
Anyway, they picked up
everybody who was,
you know, really important,
so I guess they didn't
think about me
till afterwards.
Like you say,
the cops got them.
The Burns dicks
knew every move before hand.
Somebody in the movement
must have sold out
and tipped them off.
Yeah, it hasn't come out
who it was yet,
it may never come out.
I guess who it was must've made
a bargain with the Burns men
to keep him out of it.
Be God...
I hate to believe
it'd be any of that crowd.
All I know,
they were damned fools!
As stupidly greedy for power
as any capitalist they attacked,
but I'd have sworn there
wasn't a yellow stool pigeon
among 'em.
Yeah, they'd sworn
that, too, Larry.
I hope his soul
rots in hell,
whoever it is.
Yes, so do I.
How did you locate me?
Oh, through mother.
I told her
not to tell anyone.
Oh, uh, no,
she didn't tell me,
but she kept
all your letters.
I found where
she'd hid them,
and I sneaked up there
after she was arrested.
Never would've thought
she was a woman
who kept letters.
No, I wouldn't either.
There's nothing soft
or sentimental about mother.
I haven't written her
for two years,
or anyone else.
You know, it's funny she kept
in touch with you for so long.
When she's finished with someone
she's finished with them.
And you know how she feels
about the Movement.
Anyone that loses
their faith in it
is more than dead to her.
Yet she seemed
to forgive you.
She didn't.
She wrote to denounce me,
and bring the sinner
to repentance.
Well, then what made you leave
the Movement, Larry?
Was it on mother's account?
Who the hell put that idea
in your head?
Well, nothing,
it's just I remember that,
little fight you had with her
just before you left.
Well, if you do I don't,
that was 11 years ago.
You were only
seven years old.
If we quarreled
it was because I told her
I became convinced
that the Movement
was a beautiful
pipe dream.
Oh, I don't remember it
that way.
Well, blame it on
your imagination
and forget it.
You asked me
why I quit the Movement.
I had a lot of good reasons.
One was myself,
another was my comrades.
And the last
was that breed of swine
called "men in general."
As for myself...
I'd become convinced
after 30 years
of devotion to the cause
that I wasn't made for it.
I was born condemned
to see both sides of a question.
And when
you're damned that way...
the questions multiply
until the end,
they're all questions
and no answers.
As history proves,
to be a worldly success
at anything
especially revolution,
you've got to wear
blinders like a horse
and only see
what's straight ahead of you.
As for
my comrades
in the great cause,
I've thought about them as
Horace Walpole did about England
when he said
he could love it,
if it wasn't for
the people in it.
(laughing)
Well, that's why
I quit the cause.
You see, it had nothing
to do with your mother.
Well, but I bet mother
always thought
it was on her account.
I mean, you know her, Larry,
to hear her go on sometimes
you'd think
she was the Movement.
That's a hell of a thing to say
after what happened to her.
Oh, no,
it wasn't sneering.
I said the same thing to her
lots of times,
you know, to kid her.
I know I shouldn't now,
but I keep forgetting
she's jail, she...
seemed so real to me,
she's always been so free.
I don't want to even
wanna think about it.
So what have you been doing
all these years since you le...
ah, you know,
left the coast, Larry?
I've been a
philosophical drunken bum,
and proud of it.
I hope you've deduced
why I answer a lot
of impertinent questions
from a total stranger.
For that's all you are to me.
I have a hunch you came
to get something from me.
Well, I have no answers, no,
not even for myself.
Unless you can call
what Heine wrote in his poem
to Morphine an answer.
"Lo, sleep is good,
"better is death.
"In sooth,
the best of all,
were never to be born."
That's a hell of an answer.
Still, you never may know
when it might come in handy.
I don't suppose
you've had a chance
to get any news of your mother
since she was in jail?
Oh, no, no chance.
Anyway, I don't think
she really wants to talk to me.
See, we got in this fight
just before
that business happened.
She bawled me out because
I was going around with tarts.
I told her, "You always acted
the free woman",
you've never let
anything stop you."
Anyway, she told me that she
didn't give a damn what I did,
except she began to suspect
that I was losing interest
in the Movement.
And where you?
Sure I was.
I couldn't go on forever
believing that gang
was gonna change the world
by shooting off their loud traps
on soap boxes, sneaking around
trying to blow up a bridge
or a lousy building.
And then I finally got wise
that it was all
a crazy pipe dream.
And then this business
of someone selling out,
that's what finished me off.
You can understand
how I feel, can't you, Larry?
"The days grow hot,
O Babylon!
"It's cool
beneath thy willow trees!"
Goddamned stool pigeon!
What,
what do you mean?
You can't call me that!
(laughing)
Hello, little Don!
(laughing)
I didn't recognize you!
You've grown, big boy!
How's your mother?
Don't be a fool!
Loan me a dollar.
Buy me a drink!
Sure, I'll buy you
a drink, Hugo.
I'm sorry, got, uh,
I got sore at you there.
I ought to remember
that when you're sauced,
you call everyone
"stool pigeon," ah?
It's just no damn joke
right at this time.
(snores)
Oh, gee,
he passed out again.
What are you giving me
the hard look for, Larry?
You thought
I was gonna to hit him?
What do you think I am?
I always stood up for him
when everybody in the Movement
panned him for
an old drunken has-been!
He had the guts to serve
10 years in the can
in his own country,
got his eyes ruined
in solitary.
I'd like to see
some of 'em here stick that.
Well, they're gonna
get their chance now tha...
Hey, Larry, tell me
more about this dump.
Who are all these, uh,
these tanks in here?
Who's that guy over there
trying to catch pneumonia?
That's Captain Lewis,
one time hero
in The British Army.
He strips
to display that scar,
which he got from
a native spear,
whenever he's
completely plastered.
The bewhiskered bloke
next to him
is General Wetjoen,
who led a commando
in the war.
They met up when they worked
in The Boer War Spectacle
in the St. Louis Fair,
and they've been
bosom friends ever since.
They dream away the hours
and happy dispute
over the brave days
in South Africa,
when they were trying
to murder each other.
He was in it, too.
Correspondent for some
English paper.
His nickname here
is Jimmy Tomorrow.
But what do they do
for a living?
As little as possible.
(laughs)
Once in a while
one of them makes
a successful touch somewhere,
and some of them get
a few dollars a month
from connections at home,
who pay it on the condition
that they never come back.
The rest
live on free lunch
and their old friend
Harry Hope,
who doesn't give a damn
what a man does
or doesn't do,
as long as he likes 'em.
That must be a tough life.
Don't waste your pity.
They manage to stay drunk
and keep their pipe dreams,
and that's all they ask
out of life.
It isn't often
that men attain
the true goal
of their heart's desire.
And that applies
to Harry himself.
He's so satisfied with life
that he hasn't set foot
out of this place
since his wife died
20 years ago.
He has no need
of the outside world.
Place does a fine trade from
the market across the street
and the dock workers.
So in spite
of Harry's thirst
and his generous heart,
he comes out even.
He never worries
about hard times,
as long as there's
friends from the old days
when he was a
jitney Tammany politician
and the friendly brewery
that tied him over.
Pat McGloin, his pal
sitting beside him,
was a police lieutenant
in the lush times of graft,
when everything went,
but he got too greedy.
And when the usual reform
investigation came along,
he was caught red handed
and thrown off the force.
Joe there ran a colored
gambling house, and,
was a hell of a sport.
(laughs)
Well, that completes
our family circle of inmates,
except for the two barkeeps
and their girls,
three ladies of the pavement
that room on the third floor.
I never wanna see
a whore again.
I mean, they always
get you in dutch.
Why omit me from your.
"Who's Who
in Dipsomania," Larry?
It's an unpardonable
slight...
that's generous, stranger.
I trust you're generous.
I was born in the purple,
the son... hmm,
but unfortunately not the heir
of the late world-famous.
Bill Oban,
king of the bucket shops.
A revolution deposed him,
he was sent into exile.
The fact,
not to mince matters,
(giggling)
they locked him in the can
and threw away the key.
Alas,
his was
an adventurous spirit
that pined in confinement...
and so he died!
That's tough luck.
Hmm, hmm.
Even in Harvard
I discovered my father was...
well known
by reputation.
Although that was
sometime before
the district attorney
gave him
so much
unwelcomed publicity.
Even as a freshman,
I was notorious.
I was accepted socially,
with all the warm
cordiality that, uh,
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow,
who could've shown
a drunken Negress
dancing the can can
at high noon
on Brattle Street.
Harvard was my father's idea.
But I did make myself
a brilliant student!
A dirty trick
on my classmates...
inspired by revenge,
I fear.
And I, I, I was
a brilliant student
in Law School, too!
And my father
wanted a
lawyer in the family.
Oh, a thorough
knowledge of the law
close at hand
in the house,
to help him find
fresh ways to evade it.
But I discovered
a loophole in whiskey.
And so,
escaped his jurisdiction.
Speaking of whiskey,
sir, reminds me,
and I hope reminds you,
that when greeting a prince,
the customary salutation
is "What'll you have?"
Nix!
All you guys think
I'm made of dough!
Broke?
You haven't the thirsty look
of the impecunious.
I'd judge you
to be a plutocrat,
your pocket's stuffed
with ill-gotten gains.
Two or three dollars
at least.
Don't think we question
how you got it.
What do you mean
"How I got it"?
That's a laugh,
isn't it, Larry?
Him thinking me
a plutocrat?
When I've been in
the Movement all my life?
Ah, one of those,
eh?
Why don't you go away
and blow yourself up?
That's a good lad.
Hugo...
Hugo is the only
licensed preacher
of that gospel here.
Oh, dangerous
terrorist Hugo!
He'd as soon blow the collar
off a schooner of beer
as look at you.
Let us ignore this
useless youth, Larry,
And let us join in prayer
that Hickey,
the great salesman,
will soon arrive bringing
the blessed bourgeoisie
long green.
Would that Hickey
or Death would come, uh?
(laughs)
Meanwhile,
I will sing a song.
A beautiful old
New England folk ballad,
which I'd picked at Harvard
amid de debris of education.
Oh
Jack oh Jack
was a sailor lad
And he went to
a tavern for gin
And he rapped
and he rapped with a
(loud tapping)
But
Never a soul
seemed in
The origin of this
beautiful ditty
is veiled
in mystery, Larry.
There was a legend
bruited about
in Cambridge lavatories
that Waldo Emerson
composed it
during his uninformative period
as a minister
while he was trying
to write a sermon.
But my own view
is that it goes back
much further,
and Jonathan Edwards
is the author of both words
and the music.
Oh he
rapped and rapped
And he tapped
and tapped
Enough to wake the dead
'Till he heard
a damsel
(tapping)
On a window
Right over his head
Rocky!
Bejees,
can't you keep that
crazy bastard quiet?
And now the influence
of a good woman
enters our
mariner's lifeline.
Well, perhaps "good"
isn't the word,
but very, very kind.
"Oh
Come up" she cried
"my sailor lad"
And you
and I'll agree
And I'll show you
the prettiest
(tapping)
That ever you ever
did see
You see, Larry?
The lewd puritan touch,
obviously,
and it grows more marked
as we go on.
Oh, he puts his arms
Around her waist
And gazed in her bright
blue eyes
Piano?
What do you think
this dump is, a dump?
Give him a bum's
rush upstairs.
Lock him in his room.
Come on.
No, please, Rocky, I'll go crazy
up in that room alone!
It's haunted!
Please, Larry,
please!
Let me stay here,
I'll be quiet!
What the hell you
doin' to him, Rocky?
Leave him alone...
as long as he's quiet.
Thanks, Harry,
you're a good scout.
Booze.
Yeah,
can't trust nobody.
Leave it to that Dago
to keep order
and it's like bedlam
in a cathouse!
Singin' and everything.
And you, a big barfly,
you're a hell
of a help to me.
There ain't gonna be
no more drinks on the house
'till hell freezes over.
(laughing)
Good God.
Have I been drinking
at the same table
with a bloody Kaffir?
Hello, captain,
you comin' up for air?
(laughing)
A "Kaffir,"
who's he?
"Kaffir,"
that's a nigger, Joe.
That's joke on him, Joe,
he don't know you.
He's still blind drunk.
A great mistake,
I missed him at The Battle
of Modder River.
With mine rifle
I shoot
damn fool Limey officers
by the dozen,
but him I miss.
(laughing)
Hey, wake up,
Cecil, you bloody fool.
Don't you know
your old friend Joe?
He's white, Joe is!
(laughing)
Oh, profound apologies,
Joseph, old chum.
Eyesight's a trifle
blurry, I'm afraid.
Whitest colored man
I ever knew.
Proud to call you
my friend.
Oh, I know
it's mistake, captain.
You here is a regular,
even if you
is a Limey.
(laughing)
But I don't stand for "nigger"
from nobody.
In the old days,
somebody calls me a "nigger"
he ends up in the hospital.
Me, in old days
in Transvaal,
I was so tough!
And strong!
I, I grab axle
of ox wagon,
with full load,
and lift like feather.
As for you,
my balmy Boer
that walks like a man,
I say it again,
It was a grave error
in our foreign policy
ever to set you free.
Well, now,
Cecil, Piet!
We must forget
the war.
Boer and Britain,
each fought fairly
and played the game
until the better man won,
and then we shook hands.
We are all brothers
within The Empire,
united beneath the flag
on which the sun
never sets.
Ship me somewhere
East of Suez
Where the best
Is like
the worst
Where there ain't
No Ten Commandments
And a man can raise
A thirst
On the road
To Mandalay
Where the flyin' fishes
Play
And the dawn
Comes up
like thunder
Outer China
'Crost the Bay
God, you're there
already, Jimmy.
Worst is best here,
and east is west,
and tomorrow
is yesterday.
What more do you want?
Come now, Larry,
old friend.
You pretend a bitter,
cynic philosophy,
but in your heart
you are the kindest man
among us.
The hell you say.
Tomorrow, yes.
It's high time
I got myself
straightened out.
I must have this suit
cleaned and pressed.
I can't look like
a tramp when I...
Yes, sir,
white folks always said
I was white.
In the days
when I was flush,
Joe Mott's the only colored man
they allows
in the white
gamblin' houses.
"You're all right, Joe,
you're white,"
they tells me.
(laughs)
They wouldn't let me
play craps, though.
'Cause they knew I could
make them dice behave.
"Any other game,
any limit you like, Joe,"
they says.
Man, the money I lost.
(chuckling)
Yeah...
look at the
Big Chief in them days.
He knew I was white.
I'd saved my dough
so I could start
my own gamblin' house.
Folks in the know
they tells me,
"You see the man
at the top,
"then you never has trouble.
You get Harry Hope to give you
a letter to the Chief."
And he does.
(chuckles)
Ain't that right,
Harry?
Eh?
Sure,
I gave you a letter.
I says you was white.
There, you see,
captain?
I went to see the Chief,
shakin' in my boots,
and there he was,
sittin' behind
a big desk,
lookin' as big
as a freight train.
He don't look up.
He keeps me
waitin' and waitin',
and after what seems
like an hour to me,
he says slow and quiet,
like he didn't mean no harm,
"You want to open a
gamblin' joint, does you, Joe?"
But he don't give
me no chance to answer.
He jumps up,
lookin' as big as
two freight trains,
and he pounds his fist
like a ham on the desk,
and he shouts,
"You black son of a bitch!
"Harry says you're white
and you better be white!
"Or there's a little iron room
up the river
waitin' for ya!"
Then he sits down,
and he says,
quiet again,
"All right, you can open,
get the hell outta here."
So I opens,
and he finds out
I was white, sure 'nuff.
'Cause I run
wide open for years
and I pays my sugar
on the dot,
and me and the cops
is friends.
Them old days!
Many's the night
I used to come in here.
(laughs)
This used to be a
first-class hangout for sports
in them days.
Good whiskey,
15 cents,
two for two bits.
(laughs)
I throws down
a $50 bill
like it was trash paper!
And I says,
"Drink it up,
boys,
I don't want the change."
Ain't that right,
Harry?
Yes,
and bejees,
if I ever see you throw
50 cents on the bar now,
I'd know I had
delirium tremens!
(men laughing)
Well thanks, Harry,
old chum.
I will have a drink,
now you mention it,
seeing it's so near
your birthday.
I sorry,
can't hear you.
(sighs)
No, I was afraid
you wouldn't.
I don't have
to hear you, bejees.
Booze is the only thing
you ever talk about.
True, true.
Yet there was a time
when my conversation
was more comprehensive.
But as I became
burdened with the years,
it seemed rather pointless
to discuss my other subject.
You can't joke with me.
How much room rent
do you owe me?
Tell me that!
I'm sorry.
(chuckles)
Adding always
baffled me,
subtraction's my forte.
(men laughing)
Oh, think
you're funny.
Captain, bejees,
showin' off your wounds.
Put on your clothes,
for Chrissake!
This ain't
no Turkish bath!
Lousy Limey army.
Took 'em years
to lick a gang
of Dutch hayseeds.
That's right, Harry,
give him hell!
I give you
my word of honor,
as an officer
and a gentleman,
you shall be paid
tomorrow.
We swear it,
Harry,
tomorrow without fail!
There you are,
Harry.
Sure,
what could be fairer?
A promise is a promise,
as I've often discovered.
Naming you, too...
old grafting flatfoot.
Fine company for me,
bejees!
Been livin' in my flat
since Christ knows when,
and you ain't even
got the decency
to get me upstairs,
where I got a good bed!
Kept me down here
waitin' for Hickey
to show up,
hopin' I'd blow you
to more drinks!
I did my damnedest
to get you up.
But you said
you couldn't bear the flat
because it was
one of those nights
when memory brought
poor old Bessie
back to you.
Ah, yes...
I remember now.
I could almost
see her in every room
just as she used to be...
and it's 20 years
since I...
Isn't a pipe dream
of yesterday a touching thing?
By all accounts,
20 years...
Bessie nagged the hell
out of him.
And I've never set foot
out of this house
since the day
I buried her.
Once she's gone, I didn't
give a damn for anything.
The boys was gonna
nominate me for Alderman.
Mm, Bessie wanted it,
and she was so proud.
But when she was taken,
I told 'em,
"No, boys, I can't do it.
I'm through."
I know, Lord,
why Bessie
would appreciate my grief.
She wouldn't want it
to keep me cooped up in here
all my life.
So I've made up my mind
to go out soon.
Take a walk around the ward,
see all the friends
I used to know.
Get together with the boys.
(hits table)
My birthday, tomorrow!
That'd be the right time
to turn over a new leaf!
60, that ain't too old.
The prime of life, Harry.
Hmm.
Time I took hold of myself.
Tomorrow
I must get my things
from the laundry.
Clean collar and shirt.
If I wash the ones
I've got on anymore,
they'll fall apart.
(chuckles)
I must make
a good appearance.
I've heard rumors management
were at their wits' end
and would be
only too willing
to have me run
the publicity department
for them again.
All I have to do
is get fixed up
with a decent
front tomorrow,
and it's as good as done.
Poor Jimmy's off
on his pipe dream again.
I'm sorry
we had to postpone
our trip again
this April, Piet.
I'd hoped
the blasted old estate
would be settled by then.
We'll make it next year,
even if we have to work
and earn
our passage money.
You'll stay with me
at the old place
just as long as you like.
England in April.
Oh, I want you
to see that, Piet.
I admit that the veldt
has its points,
but it's not home.
Especially home in April.
We've been
together now
For 40 years
And it don't seem
A day too much
There ain't a lady
Livin' in the land
As I'd swop
For me dear old Dutch
There ain't a lady
Livin' in the land
As I'd swop
For me dear
Old Dutch
Yeah, Cecil,
I can see
how beautiful
it must be,
but I will enjoy
when I am home, too.
The veldt, ya!
You could put
England on it,
and it would look like a
farmer's small garden.
By God,
there is space to be free,
the air...
(sniffs)
like wine is,
you don't need booze
to be drunk.
I'll make my stake and
get my new
gamblin' house open
before you boys leave.
You gotta come
to the openin'.
Bejees,
Jimmy's started them off
smoking the same hop.
Be God!
This bughouse will drive me
stark, raving loony yet!
What, what'd you say?
Nothing, Harry.
I had a crazy thought
in my head.
Crazy is right,
the old wise guy.
Damned old fool Anarchist.
I-Won't-Worker!
You'll pay up tomorrow,
or I'll,
I'll start
a Harry Hope Revolution!
(chuckles)
I'll tie a dispossess bomb
to your tails
that'll blow you out
in the street!
(chuckles)
I'll, I'll make
your Movement move!
(men laughing)
Sure it's hot,
parching work
sittin' here laughin' at your
jokes so early in the morning...
on an empty stomach.
Who asked you
to laugh anyway?
Bejees, Bessie'd
never forgive me
if she knew I had you
living in her flat,
throwing ashes
and cigar butts
on her carpet.
You know her opinion
of you, Mac.
"That Pat McGloin
is the biggest drunken grafter
that ever disgraced
the police force,"
she used to say.
"If I had my way
"he'd get booted up
in the gutter
of his fat behind."
And sometimes she didn't say
"behind" either.
(laughs)
She didn't mean it.
She was angry at me because
you used to get me drunk.
Hmm.
But Bess,
she had a heart of gold
underneath her sharpness.
She knew I was innocent
of all the charges.
(slamming table with glass)
One moment, please.
Lieutenant McGloin!
Are you aware that
you're under oath?
You know what the penalty
for perjury is?
Come now, lieutenant.
Isn't it a fact
you're guilty as hell?
No, don't say
"How about your old man?"
I'm asking
the questions!
Gentlemen of the Jury!
The court
will now recess
while the D.A. sings out
a little ditty
that he learned at Harvard.
It was composed
in a wanton moment
by the Dean
of the Divinity School
on a moonlight night
in July, 1776,
while sobering up
in a Turkish bath.
"Oh come up,"
She cried
"my sailor lad "
And you and I'll agree
And I'll show you
the prettiest
(slamming table)
Rocky!
Aay!
Yi.
Harry, please, please!
Don't make Rocky
bounce me upstairs,
I'll go crazy alone!
I apologize,
I apologize, Mac.
Don't get sore,
I was only kidding you.
You will let me...
take your case?
Won't you, Mac?
Yeah, sure Willie,
and it'll make
your reputation.
Hey, Mac.
What the hell you thinks
happened to Hickey?
I hope he turns up.
(chuckles)
You remember that gag
he always pulls
about his wife
and the iceman?
(men laughing)
Opening time, boss.
Why don't you go
to bed, Boss?
Hickey'd never turn up
this time of the mornin'.
Someone's comin' now!
Oh, that's only
my two pigs,
it's about time
they showed.
You keep them
dumb broads quiet!
I'm gonna catch
a couple more winks here,
and I don't want no damn fool
laughin' and screechin'.
Hey.
Never thought
I'd see the day
when Harry Hope's
would have tarts living in.
What would Bessie
think, hmm?
But he don't let 'em use
my rooms for business.
Pay their rent, too,
which is more than
I can say for...
Bejees, Mac,
I, I'll bet
Bessie's doin' somersaults
in her grave!
(women giggling)
Hello.
Jees, Pearl.
This place is a morgue
with all these stiffs
on deck.
Hey, you Old Wise Guy,
ain't you died yet?
Not yet, Margie.
But I'm waiting impatiently
for the end.
Yeah.
Hey, who's the new guy?
Friend of yours?
Hey, kid!
You wanna have
a good time, huh?
Hey, hell with him!
You dumb broads!
Cut the loud talk!
Sit down before
I knock you down!
Ohh, you!
What, what, what, what?
(sighs)
Well, how do you
tramps do?
Ah, pretty good,
uh, Pearl?
Sure, we nailed
a couple of all-night guys.
On Sixth Avenue,
boobs from the sticks.
Stinko,
the both of 'em!
We think
we's in luck you know,
so we steers them
to a real hotel.
We figured they're too stinko
to bother us much
and we could cop
a good night sleep in beds
that ain't got cobble stones
in the mattress like the ones
in this dump.
Yeah,
but we was outta luck.
They didn't bother
us much that way,
but they wouldn't
go to sleep either, see?
Jees, I never heard
such gabby guys!
So... here we are.
Yeah, I see you,
but I don't see
no dough yet.
Right on the job,
ain't he, Margie?
Yeah, our little
business man, that's him.
Come on, dig!
What, you're scared
we're holdin' out on you?
Way he grabs, you'd think
it was him done the work.
Here you are,
grafter!
I hope it chokes you!
Hey, you dumb baby dolls
give me a pain.
What would you do
with money if I wasn't around?
Give it all
to some pimp.
Jees, what's
the difference?
Oh, didn't mean that,
Rocky.
A lot of difference,
get me?
Sure,
don't get sore.
Jees, can't you take
a little kiddin'?
Hey, come on, Rocky!
Pearl was only kiddin'.
We know you don't live off us,
you got a regular job.
That's why we like you,
you're a bartender.
Sure, I'm a bartender,
and I treat you girls
right, don't I?
(together)
Yeah.
Jees, I'm wise
you hold out on me,
but I know it ain't much.
So what the hell,
I let you get away with it.
(both laughing)
Hey, you know ought not
kid him about that stuff.
Serves you right
if he beats you up.
Jees, I'd bet he'd give you an
awful beatin' once he started.
Ginnies got
awful tempers.
Anyways,
we wouldn't keep no pimp
like we were regular old whores.
We ain't that bad.
Oh, no, we're tarts,
but that's all.
Right.
Ahh!
Hey, Rocky.
Cora got back
around 3:00 o'clock.
She woke up Chuck
and dragged him
outta the hay
to go to for a
chop suey joint.
Imagine him standin'
for that stuff!
I bet they been sittin' around
kiddin' themselves
with that old pipe dream
about gettin' married
and settlin' down
on a farm.
Jees, when Chuck's
on the wagon,
they never
lay off that dope.
Yeah,
of all the pipe dreams
in this dump,
they got the nuttiest.
They been dreamin' it
for years,
every time
Chuck goes on the wagon.
What would gettin'
married get them?
But the farm stuff
is the sappiest part.
When both of 'em have been
dragged up in this ward,
and ain't never been
nearer a farm
than Coney Island.
They'd get D.T.'s
if they ever heard
a cricket chirp.
I heard crickets once,
on my cousin's place
in Jersey,
I couldn't sleep a wink.
Jees, can you picture
a good barkeep like Chuck
diggin' spuds?
And imagine a whore
hustlin' the cows home.
Hey, Rocky,
you oughtn't
to call Cora that.
I mean, she may be
a tart, but...
Oh sure, sure,
that's all I meant, a tart.
Yeah, but he's right about
the damned cows, Margie.
I bet Cora don't know
which end of the cow
has the horns!
I'm goin' to ask her.
Here's your chance.
Hello, bums!
Jees...
the morgue
on a rainy Sunday night.
Hello, Old Wise Guy,
ain't you croaked yet?
Not yet, Cora.
Damned tiring
this waiting for the end.
Aw, go on,
you'll never die.
You'll have to hire someone
to croak you with an axe.
Hey, you dumb hooker,
cut the loud talk.
This ain't a cathouse.
Ohh!
(Maggie)
Hey, Cora, how you doin'?
(Pearl) Hey, Chuck,
what's happening?
(women giggling)
If I'd known this dump
was a hooker hangout,
I'd never come in.
You seem down
on the ladies.
I hate every bitch
that ever lived.
Well, you can understand
how I feel, can't you?
When it was gettin'
mixed up with a tart
that made me have
that fight with mother.
Well, what the hell
does it matter to you?
You're in the grandstand,
you're through with life.
I'm glad
you remember that.
Who's the guy with Larry?
A tightwad,
the hell with him.
Say, Cora,
wise me up.
Which end of the cow
is the horns on?
Aw, don't bring that up.
Me and this overgrown tramp's
been scrappin' about the farm.
He says Jersey's the best place,
and I said Long Island
on account it will be
near Coney.
And then I tells him,
"How do I know you're off
of periodicals for life?"
And I tells her
"I'm off the stuff for life."
Then she beefs
we won't be married a month
before I'll throw it
in her face she was a tart.
"Jees, baby,"
I tells her, "Why should I?
"What the hell you think
I think I'm marryin', a virgin?
"Why should I kick
"as long as you lay off it
and don't do no cheatin'
with the iceman or nobody?"
It's on the level, baby.
Eh?
Aw, you big tramp.
Can you tie it?
I'll buy a drink,
I'll do anything.
No, this round's on me!
I run into luck.
That's why I dragged
Chuck outta bed to celebrate.
It was a sailor,
I rolled him.
Listen,
it was a scream.
My dogs was givin' out
when I seen this guy
holdin' up a lamp post,
so I hurry to get him
before a cop did.
I says,
"Hello, handsome,
wanna have a good time?"
Jees, he was paralyzed!
One of them polite jags.
He tries to bow to me,
imagine,
and I had to prop him up
or he'd fell on his nose.
"Lady," he says,
"can you kindly tell me
the nearest way
to the Museum
of Natural History?"
(laughing)
Can you imagine?
It's 2:00 A.M.!
As if I'd know where
the dump was anyway.
But I says,
"Sure thing, honey boy,".
"I'll be only too glad."
So I steered him into a
side street where it was dark,
and propped him against a wall
and I give him a frisk.
And what do you
think he done?
I mean, Jees,
I ain't lyin',
he begins to laugh,
the big sap!
(laughing)
"Quit ticklin' me," he says,
while I was friskin' him
for his roll!
I near died!
Then I turned him 'round and
give him a shove to start him.
"Just keep goin',"
I told him.
"It's a big white building
on your right,
you can't miss it."
Ohh!
He must be swimmin' in
the North River yet.
Ain't Uncle Sam the sap
to trust guys like that
with dough?
Well, I picked 12 bucks
off of him.
So come on, Rocky,
set 'em up.
Oh, say, Chuck's kiddin'
about the iceman a minute ago
reminds me,
where the hell's Hickey?
That's what
we're all wonderin'.
Well, he oughta be here!
Me and Chuck seen him.
You've seen Hickey?
Yeah.
Hey, boss!
Boss, boss,
come to.
Cora's seen Hickey.
Where'd you see him,
Cora?
Right on the next corner,
he was standin' there.
We said,
"Welcome to our city!
"The gang's expectin' ya
with their tongues hangin' out
a yard long."
And I kidded him,
"How's the iceman, Hickey?
How's he doin'
at your house?"
And he laughs
and says, "Fine."
And then he says,
"Tell the gang
I'll be along in a minute.
"I'm just finishin'
figurin' out the best way
to save 'em
and bring 'em peace."
Bejees, he's thought up
a new gag!
(chuckles)
It's a wonder he didn't borrow
a Salvation Army uniform
and show up in that!
Go out and get him,
Rocky.
Tell him we're waitin'
to be saved!
Yeah, Harry,
he was only kiddin'
but he was funny, too,
somehow;
he was different
or somethin'.
Sure, he was sober, baby,
that's what made him different.
Sure!
Gee, ain't I dumb?
Dumbest broad
I ever seen.
Hmm.
Sober?
That's funny.
He's always lapped up
a good starter on his way here.
Well, bejees,
he won't be sober long!
He'll be good and ripe
for my birthday party
tonight at 12:00.
Listen, he's fixed
some new gag to pull on us.
We'll pretend to
let him kid us, see?
And we'll kid
the pants off him!
(all laughing)
(Rocky)
Here's the old son of a bitch!
(cheering and hollering)
Hello, gang!
Oh dear old pals
We're jolly old pals
In all kinds
of weather
We always stick together
Like we're always game
Whenever the same soul
Give me
for friendship
My jolly old pals
And another
little drink
Won't do us any harm
(cheers, applause.
Do your duty,
Brother Rocky,
bring on the rat poison!
How goes it,
Governor?
Bejees, Hickey, you old bastard,
it's good to see you!
Hello, Mac.
Welcome, "boyo!"
Willie!
Hey, Hickey!
How you've got...
(laughter)
Hello, Joe.
All right, Hickey,
how you doin'?
Hello, Hickey,
old timer.
Oh, Captain Lewis!
General Wetjoen!
(playful babbling)
I said!
Hello, Hugo!
How goes it?
Wow, wow!
Too much wine underneath
the willow trees, eh?
Hello, Jimmy.
It's grand to see ya.
How's the old scout?
You look great.
Sit down, Hickey,
sit down.
Well, I, I...
Jimmy!
(laughing)
Bejees, it seems natural
to see your
ugly, grinning map.
This dumb broad
was tryin' to tell us
you'd changed,
but you ain't
a damned bit!
Tell us about yourself.
Bejees, Hickey,
you look like
a million dollars!
Here's your key, Hickey,
same old room.
Oh, thanks, Rocky.
I'll be goin' up
in a little while
and grab a snooze.
I haven't been able
to sleep lately,
I'm tired as hell.
A couple of hours
of good kip will fix me.
First time I ever heard
you worry about sleep.
Bejees, you never
would go to bed.
Get a couple of slugs
under your belt,
you'll forget sleeping.
Here's mud in your eye,
Hickey.
(everybody toasting)
Drink hearty,
boys and girls.
Bejees,
is that a new stunt?
Drinking your chaser first?
No, I forgot
to tell Rocky.
You'll have to excuse me,
boys and girls,
but I'm off the stuff,
for keeps.
(gasping, repressed laughter)
(Harry)
What the hell?
Sure, sure!
Joined the Salvation Army,
ain't you?
Been elected President
of the W.C.T.U.?
Take the bottle away
from him, Rocky.
We don't want
to tempt him into sin.
Eh, I know it's hard
to believe, but, uh,
Cora was right, Harry,
I have changed.
I mean
about the booze,
I don't need it anymore.
Bejees, Cora says
you was comin' here to save us.
Well, go on, get
this joke off your chest.
Start the service!
Sing a Goddamned hymn
if you like.
We'll all join
in the chorus.
"No drunkard can enter
this beautiful home."
You don't think
I'd come around here
peddlin' any brand
of temperance bunk, do you?
Just 'cause I quit the stuff
don't mean
I'm going Prohibition.
I'm not that ungrateful,
it's given me
too many good times.
So if anybody
wants to get drunk,
if that's the only way
they can be happy,
and feel at peace
with themselves,
why the hell
shouldn't they?
Hell, I know that game
from soup to nuts.
I wrote the book.
The only reason
I quit is...
well, I finally had
the guts to face myself
and throw overboard
that damned lying pipe dream
that'd make me miserable,
and do what I had to do
for the happiness
of all concerned.
Then all at once,
I was at peace with myself
and I didn't need
the booze anymore.
Well, what the hell?
Don't let me be
a wet blanket.
Set 'em up again, Rocky.
Here, keep the balls coming
until last kill,
then I'll ask for more.
Jees, a roll that'd choke
a hippopotamus.
Fill up, you guys!
That sounds more
like you, Hickey.
All that water-wagon bull!
Cut the act and have a drink,
for Chrissake.
It's no act, Governor,
but that don't mean
I'm a teetotal grouch
and can't be in the party.
Why else do you think
I'm here except to have a party,
like I've always done, and help
celebrate your birthday tonight?
You've all been
good pals to me,
best friends I've ever had.
And I've been thinking about you
ever since I left the house,
all the time I was
walking over here.
"Walkin'?"
Bejees, you mean
to say you walked?
I sure as hell did.
All the way from the wilds
of darkest Astoria.
I seemed to get here
before I knew it.
And that ought
to encourage you, Governor,
show you a little walk
around the ward
is nothin'
to be so scared about.
It was goin' on 12:00
when I went into the bedroom
to tell Evelyn I was leaving,
six hours, say.
No, less than that,
'cause I'd been standin'
on the street corner
some time before
Chuck and Cora came along,
thinkin' about all of you.
Of course,
I was only kidding Cora
with that stuff
about saving you.
But no,
I wasn't either,
but I didn't mean booze.
I meant save you
from pipe dreams.
Because I know now,
from my experience,
that they're the things
that can really poison
and ruin a guy's life
and keep him
from finding any peace.
If you knew how free
and contented I feel now.
Why, I'm like a new man,
and the cure for them
is so damned simple
once you got the nerve.
Just stop lying to yourself
and kidding yourself
about tomorrows.
Hell, this begins
to sound like a damned sermon
on the way to lead
the good life!
It's in my blood,
I guess.
My old man used
to whale salvation
into my heinie
with a birch rod.
He was a preacher
in the sticks of Indiana,
like I've told you,
got my knack of sales gab
from him, too.
He was the boy that could sell
those Hoosier hayseeds
building lots along
the Golden Street!
Now don't look at me
like that, boys and girls.
I'm not tryin' to sell
you a goldbrick.
Nothin' up my sleeves,
honest.
Let's take an example,
any one of you, eh?
Take you, Governor.
That walk around the ward
you never take.
What about it?
Well, you know
as well as I do, Harry,
everything about it.
Well, Bejees,
I'm going to take it!
Of course you are,
because I'm gonna help you.
I know it's the thing
that you've got to do
before you know
what real peace means.
Same thing with you,
Jimmy.
You're goin' have to try
and get your old job back,
and no tomorrows about it.
Ahh, I...
No, don't tell me,
I know all about tomorrows.
I wrote the book.
I, I don't
understand you, Hickey.
I admit
I've foolishly delayed,
but as it happens,
I'd just
made up my mind
that as soon as I could
get straightened out...
Fine, fine,
that's the spirit,
and I'm gonna help you,
Jimmy.
'Cause you've always been
damned kind to me,
and I wanna prove
how grateful I am to you.
When it's all over,
you don't have to nag
yourself any more.
You'll be grateful
to me, too.
And all the rest of you,
the ladies included,
are in the same boat,
one way or another.
Be God, you've hit the nail
on my head, Hickey.
This dump
is the Palace of Pipe Dreams!
Well, well,
the Old Grandstand
Foolosopher speaks, ah?
And you think you're
the big exception, eh?
Life doesn't mean a damn
to you any more.
You're retired
from the circus,
you're impatiently waiting
for the end
in the good old Long Sleep.
Well, I think a lot of you,
Larry, you old bastard,
and I'll try and make an
honest man out of you, too.
What the devil
are you hintin' at?
Well, you don't
have to ask me, do you,
wise old guy like you?
Just ask yourself,
I'll bet you know.
He's got your number
all right, Larry.
That's the stuff,
Hickey.
He's got no right
to sneak out of everything.
Well, hello!
A stranger in our midst.
I didn't notice you
before, brother.
My name's, uh, Parritt,
I'm an old friend of Larry's.
What are you staring at?
Oh, no offense, brother,
I was just trying to figure.
Haven't we met before...
some place?
No, it's the first time
I've been East.
No, you're right,
I know that's not it.
You see, in my game,
to be a shark at it,
you teach yourself
never to forget
a name or a face.
But still
I know damned well there's...
something that
I recognize about you.
We're members
of the same lodge...
in some way.
What are you
talkin' about?
You're nuts.
Don't kid me, little boy.
I'm a good salesman,
so damned good the firm was glad
to take me back
after every drunk.
And what made me good
was I could size up anyone.
But still, I don't...
Well, never mind.
I can tell you're havin'
trouble with yourself,
and I'll be glad
to do anything I can
to help a friend of Larry's.
Mind your own
business, Hickey.
He's nothing to you,
or to me.
You're keeping us all
in suspense.
Tell us more about
how you're going to save us.
Well, hell,
don't get sore, Larry.
We're old pals,
I've always liked you a lot,
you know that.
Forget it, Hickey.
Fine, fine...
Well,
that's the spirit.
What's the matter,
everybody?
Come on, drink up!
A little action!
Have another...
Hell, this is
a celebration!
Oh, forget it if anything I said
sounded too serious.
You think
I'm talkin' out of turn,
just tell me
to go chase myself.
(yawning)
No, boys and girls,
I'm not trying to put
anything over on you.
It's just
that I know now,
from experience,
what a lying pipe dream
can do to you.
And how damned relieved
and contented with yourself
you'll feel when you're
rid of it.
(yawning)
Oh, my God...
I'm sleepy
all of a sudden.
That long walk
must be gettin' to me.
I better go upstairs.
Hell of a trick
to go dead on you like this.
And no,
boys and girls, I've...
never known
what real peace was until now.
It's a grand feeling.
Like when you're sick and
suffering like hell and then...
doc gives you
a shot in the arm.
The pain goes and...
you drift off.
You let yourself go at last.
You sink down
to the bottom of the sea.
Rest in peace.
(keys clattering)
There's no further
you have to go.
Not one single
hope or dream
left to nag you.
But you'll all know
what I mean.
Excuse me,
I'll just grab 40 winks.
Drink up,
everybody...
on me.
Don't let me be
a wet blanket.
All I want
is to see you happy.
(dishes rattling)
Well, how's that, kid?
What the hell do I know
about flowers?
You can see they're pretty,
can't you, you big dummy?
Yeah, baby, sure,
if you like 'em,
they're all right with me.
Oh, Jees, Pearl!
Look at that cake, eh?
Come here,
look, six candles,
each for 10 years.
Oh...
when do we light
the candles, Rocky?
Ask that bughouse
Hickey.
"Just before Harry
come down," he says.
"Then Harry blows them out
with one breath, for luck."
(spits)
Hickey was gonna have
60 candles,
but I says "Jees, if the old guy
took that big a breath",
he'd croak himself."
Anyways, it's a nice cake,
ain't it?
Oh, sure,
it's all right by me.
But what is Harry
gonna do with a cake?
If he ever ate a hunk,
it'd croak him.
Jees, you're a dope!
Ain't he, Margie?
Yeah, dope is right.
You broads better watch
your step or I'll...
Or what?
Yeah, what, what?
Say, what the hell's
got into ya's?
It'll be 12:00 o'clock and
Harry's birthday before long.
I ain't lookin'
for no trouble.
Oh, we ain't
neither, Rocky.
A guy what can't see
flowers is pretty
must be some dumbbell.
Yeah, well,
if I was as dumb as you...
Jees, you got your
scrappin' pants on, ain't you?
What the hell, baby,
what's eatin' you?
All I'm thinkin' is,
"What the hell
could Harry do with flowers?"
He don't know a cauliflower
from a geranium.
Jees,
ever since Hickeys woke up,
you can't hold him.
He's taken on the party
like it was his birthday.
Well, he's payin'
for everything, ain't he?
Aw, I don't mind
the birthday stuff so much.
What gets my goat
is the way he's buttin' in
all over the place,
tellin' everybody
where they get off.
He just keeps
hintin' around.
Yeah, he was hintin'
to me and Margie.
Yeah,
the lousy drummer.
He just gives you an earful
of that line of bull about
you gotta be honest
with yourself
and not kid yourself,
and you gotta have the guts
to be what you are.
I told him,
"That's all right
for the bums in this dump.
"But it don't go
with me, see?
I don't kid myself
with no pipe dreams."
What are you grinnin' at?
Nothin'.
Nothin'.
It better be nothin'!
And don't let Hickey
put no ideas in your nuts
if you wanna stay healthy.
He's ridin' someone
every minute.
He's got Harry
and Jimmy Tomorrow run ragged.
And the rest are hidin'
in their rooms,
so they don't won't
have to listen to him.
They're all actin' cagey
with the booze, too,
like they was scared
if they get too drunk,
they might spill
their guts.
And everybody's getting
a prize grouch on.
Yeah,
he's been hintin' around
to me and Chuck, too.
You-you'd think
he suspected me and Chuck
had no real intention
of gettin' married.
You'd think he suspected
Chuck wasn't goin' to lay off
of periodicals,
or maybe
didn't even want to.
I told him,
"I'm on the wagon for keeps,
and Cora knows it."
And I told him:
"Sure, I know it.
"And Chuck ain't never goin'
to throw it in my face.
"I was a tart, neither.
"And if you think
we're just kiddin' ourselves,
"we'll show ya!
We are gettin' married
tomorrow."
Ain't we, honey?
You bet, baby.
Christ, Chuck!
Are you lettin' that bughouse
louse Hickey kid you into...
Nobody's kiddin' him into it,
nor me neither!
Hickey's right,
if this big tramp's
goin' to marry me,
he ought to do it,
and not just shoot off
his old bazoo about it.
You can't be that dumb,
Chuck.
Rocky, you keep
outta this, you hear?
And don't start beefin' about
the crickets on the farm
drivin' us nuts.
Christ, you'd think
they was elephants!
Ah, Rocky,
don't notice that broad.
You heard what she said,
right?
"Tomorrow, tomorrow!"
The same old crap.
Is that so?
Uh.
Imagine Cora a bride!
That's a hot one!
Jees, Cora,
if all the guys you've
stayed with was side by side,
you could walk on 'em
from here to Texas!
You can't talk to me like that,
you skinny Dago hooker!
I may be a tart, but I ain't a
cheap old whore like you!
I'll show you
who's a whore!
(unintelligible
loud screaming)
Dago whore!
(yelling, screaming)
Oh, bury it!
What are you, a virgin?
You mean you think
I'm a whore, too?
Yeah, me, too?
Now don't start nothin'!
I suppose it'd tickle you
if me and Margie did
what that louse Hickey
was hintin',
and come right out
and admitted we was whores!
Yeah.
It's the truth, ain't it?
Jees, Rocky,
that's a fine hell of a thing
to say to two girls
that's been as good
to you as Pearl and Margie!
Oh, oh look,
I-I didn't mean
to call you that, Pearl.
No hard feelings,
Cora.
There,
that fixes everything,
don't it?
Okay, Rocky,
we're whores.
You know what
that makes you, don't you?
Look out, now!
A lousy little pimp,
that's what.
I'll loin you!
A dirty little Ginny pimp,
that's what!
Yes,
you provin' it to us,
Pearl!
Sure!
Hickey's converted him,
he's given up
his pipe dream.
Lay off of me or I'll...
Oh, lay off them!
Harry's party ain't no time
to beat up your stable.
Whose stable?
Who do you think
you're talkin' to?
I ain't never
beat 'em up!
What do you think I am?
I just give 'em a slap,
like any guy would his wife,
if she got too gabby.
I'm not lookin' for no trouble
on Harry's birthday party!
(gasps)
You lousy little Ginny!
I'll lay off you until
the party's over,
if Pearl will.
Sure I will...
For Harry's sake, not yours,
you little Wop!
Say, listen, you!
(laughing)
If you don't get
no wrong I...
What the hell
are you laughin' at,
you half-dead old
stew bum?
At himself,
and he ought to be.
Jees, Hickey's
sure got his number.
Wake up, comrade!
Here's a revolution
starting all around you,
and you're sleeping
through it!
Be God, it's not
to Bakunin's ghost
you ought to be
prayin' your dreams,
but to the great
nihilist, Hickey!
He started a movement
that'll blow up the world!
You, Larry!
Renegade!
Traitor!
I'll have you shot!
Don't be a fool,
buy me a drink.
(laughing maniacally)
Bourgeois swine, Hickey!
He laughs like good fellow,
he makes jokes.
He dares to hint to me,
so I see what
he dares to think!
He thinks I'm finish,
it is too late.
So I do not wish
the day to come
because it will
not be my day.
Ahh?
I see what he thinks!
He thinks lies
even worse,
that I...
I'll have him hanged
the first one of all
to the first lamppost!
(laughing maniacally)
Why you so serious,
you little monkey-faces?
It's all great joke,
no?
So we get drunk,
and we laugh like hell,
and then we die,
and the pipe dream vanish!
(laughing)
But be of good cheer,
little stupid peoples!
"The days grow hot,
O Babylon!"
Soon,
little proletarians,
we will have free picnic
in the cool shade,
and we will eat hot dogs
and drink free wine
beneath the willow trees!
Like hogs, yes!
Like beautiful,
little hogs!
Goddamned liar, Hickey!
It's he who makes me sneer.
I want to sleep!
Hickey ain't
overlookin' no bets.
Tell it to
Old Wise Guy Larry,
who's still pretendin'
he's the one exception
who don't do no
pipe dreamin'!
I...
All right.
Take it out on me,
if it makes you more content.
Sure, I love every hair
of your heads,
my great big
beautiful baby dolls,
and there's nothing
I wouldn't do for you.
The old
Irish bunk, huh?
We ain't big
and we ain't
your baby dolls!
But we admit
we're beautiful,
huh, Margie?
Yeah, sure thing.
But what would he do
with beautiful dolls
even if he had the price,
the old goat?
Ahh!
Larry, you're okay even though
you are full of bull.
Sure,
you're aces with us;
we're nervous,
that's all.
It's Hickey,
that lousy drummer!
Why can't he be like
he's always been?
I ain't never seen
a guy change so.
What do you think
happened to him, Larry?
I don't know.
With all his gab
I noticed he's kept
that to himself so far.
Maybe he's saving
the great revelation
for Harry's party.
Oh!
Let him mind his own business
and I'll mind mine.
Yeah,
that's what I say.
Say, Larry,
where's that young friend
of yours disappeared to?
I don't care where he is,
except I wish he was
a thousand miles away!
He's a pest.
I told him,
"I'll take
a lot from you, Hickey,"
"like everyone else
in this dump,"
"because you always
been a grand guy."
"But there's things I don't take
from you nor nobody, see?"
"Remember that,"
or you'll wake up
in a hospital,
"or maybe worse,
"with your wife
and the iceman
walkin' slow behind ya."
Aw, you oughtn't make
that iceman crack, Rocky.
I noticed he ain't pulled
that old gag this time.
(gasps)
Do you suppose he did
catch his wife cheatin', hum?
Oh, that's the bunk!
He ain't pulled that gag
or showed a photo around
because he ain't drunk.
And if he's caught her
cheatin'
he'd be drunk,
wouldn't he?
He'd have beat her up
and then gone on the worst drunk
he'd ever staged.
Sure, Rocky's got
the right dope, baby.
I stood tellin' people this dump
is closed for the night
all I'm gonna!
Let Harry hire a doorman,
pay him wages, if he wants one.
Yeah?
Harry's pretty
damned good to ya.
Sure he is,
I don't mean that.
Anyways,
it's all right.
I told Schwartz,
the cop,
we closed for the party.
He'll keep folks away.
I wants me a big drink,
that's what.
Who's stoppin' yuh?
You can have all you want
on Hickey.
All right,
I earned all the drinks on him
I could drink in a year
for listenin' to his
crazy bull.
And here's hopin'
he gets the lockjaw.
I drinks on him,
but I don't drink with him.
No, sir,
never no more!
Oh, bull.
Hickey's all right,
what's he done to you?
That's my business.
Sure, you would think
he's all right.
He's a white man,
ain't he?
Now listen to me,
you white boys!
Now don't you
get it in your head
that I was pretendin' to be
what I ain't,
or that I ain't
proud to be what I am
you gettin' me?
Or you and me
is goin' to have trouble.
What nerve!
Just because
you act nice to him,
he gets a swelled nut...
if that ain't
a coon all over.
He talkin' fight talk, huh?
I'll murder the nigger.
Listen, listen, boys,
I, I'm sorry.
You been
good friends to me.
It's that Hickey,
he gets my head all mixed up
with craziness.
Oh, that's
all right, Joe.
The boys wasn't
takin' you serious.
Jees, what did I say?
Hickey ain't
overlookin' no bets.
And you gotta admit
he's got
the right dope.
I mean, on some
of the bums here.
He's certainly got one guy
I know sized up right.
Ain't he, Pearl?
He certainly has.
Cut it out,
I told ya!
It's nothing to me
what happened to him.
But I have a feeling he's dying
to tell us inside him,
and yet he's afraid.
Like that damned kid.
Strange the queer way
he seemed to recognize him.
If he's afraid,
that explains
why he's off booze.
Afraid if he got drunk,
he might tell...
Well, well, well!
Here I am
in the nick of time.
Well, come on, somebody,
give me a hand
with these packages.
Jees, Hickey,
you scared me outta
a year's growth,
sneakin' in like that.
"Sneakin'?"
You were all so busy
drinking in words of wisdom
from Old Wise Guy here,
you couldn't hear
anything else.
And from what
I heard, Larry,
you're not so good
when you start playing
Sherlock Holmes.
You've got me all wrong.
I'm not afraid
of anything now,
not even myself.
You better stick to
the part of Old Cemetery,
the Barker
for the Big Sleep.
That is, if you can still
let yourself get away with it.
"Old Cemetery!"
That's him, Hickey.
We'll have
to call him that.
Beginning to do
a lot of puzzling about me,
aren't you, Larry?
But that won't help you.
You've got
to think of yourself,
I couldn't give you
my peace.
You've got to find
your own,
all I can do
is to help you,
and the rest of the gang,
by showing you the way
to find it.
Oh, hire a church!
All right, boys and girls,
don't get sore.
I guess that did sound too much
like a lousy preacher.
Well, let's forget it
and get on with the party.
Is those bundles
grub, Hickey?
You bought enough already
to feed an army.
I want this to be the biggest
birthday Harry's ever had.
Now you and Rocky
go out in the hall
and bring in
the big surprise!
My arms are busted
lugging it.
Jees, you got us all
head up!
What is it, Hickey?
Wait and see!
I thought to myself,
"I'll bet this is what would
please those whores
more than anything."
Then I said to myself,
"I don't care
"how much money it costs,
they're worth it,
"they're the best
little scouts in the world,
"and they've always been
damned kind to me
when I was down and out."
And I meant
every word of that.
Well,
what's the matter?
Ehh...
Oh, I see.
Now look, you know I didn't
say that to offend you.
So don't be silly now.
All right,
all right.
Oh, look,
here it comes!
Hickey, what...
What'd you get?
Unveil it, boys!
Oh, it's champagne!
Oh, jees, Hickey,
if you ain't a sport!
I never been soused
on champagne!
Hey, let's get stinko!
Oh, you betcha my life!
All of us!
You sure is hittin'
the high spots, Hickey.
When I runs
my gamblin' house,
I drink that old bubbly
water in steins.
And I'm gonna drink
that way again, too,
as soon's I make
my stake.
And that ain't
no pipe dream, neither.
What'll we drink
it outta, Hickey?
There ain't no
wine glasses.
Well, Joe's got
the right idea, steins!
That's the spirit
for Harry's party.
We will drink wine
beneath the willow trees!
That's the spirit,
brother,
and let the lousy slaves
drink vinegar.
(chuckles)
Got damned liar!
Leave Hugo be!
He rotted 10 years in prison
for his faith.
He earned his dream!
Have you no decency
or pity?
Hello, what's this?
I thought you were in
the grandstand.
Listen, Larry,
you're gettin' me all wrong.
Hell, you ought
to know me better.
Of course I have pity,
but now that
I've seen the light,
it's not my old kind
of pity,
the kind yours is.
The kind that lets itself off
by encouraging some poor guy
to go on kidding himself
with a lie.
The kind that leaves
the poor slob worse off
because he feels
guiltier than ever.
The kind that makes
his lying hopes nag at him,
and reproach him until he's
a rotten skunk in his own eyes.
No, sir.
The kind of pity I feel now
is after final results
that really help
save the poor guy.
Make him contented
with what he is,
and quit battling himself,
so he can find peace
for the rest of his life.
Oh, I know
how you resent the way
I have to show you up
to yourself,
but you'll be grateful to me
when all at once
you're able to admit,
without feeling ashamed,
that all the grandstand
foolosopher bunk
and the waiting for
the Big Sleep stuff
is a pipe dream.
You'll be able to say
to yourself,
"I'm just an old man
who is scared of life,
"but even more
scared of dying.
"So I'm keeping drunk
and hanging on to life
at any price,
and what of it?"
Be God,
if I'm not beginning
to think you've gone mad.
You're a liar!
Now, listen, that's no way
to talk to an old pal
who's trying to help you.
Hell, if you
really wanted to die,
you'd just take a hop off
the fire escape, wouldn't you?
And if you really were
in the grandstand,
you wouldn't be
pitying everyone.
As for my being bughouse,
you can't crawl out of it
that way.
I'm too damned sane.
I can size up guys
and turn 'em inside out
better than I ever could,
even where they're strangers
like that Parritt kid.
He's licked, Larry.
I think there's only
one possible way out
you can help him take.
That is, if you have
the right kind of pity for him.
What do you mean?
I'm not advising him,
except to leave me
out of his troubles...
he's nothing to me.
You'll find
he won't agree to that.
He'll keep after you
until he makes you help him.
Because he's got
to be punished,
so he can
forgive himself.
He hasn't got the guts,
he can't
manage it alone.
And you're the only one
he can turn to.
For the love of God,
mind your own business.
How'd you know about him?
He's hardly
spoken to you.
No, that's right,
but I do know a lot about him
just the same.
I've had hell inside of me,
I can spot it in others.
Maybe that's what
gives me the feeling
there's something
familiar about him,
something between us.
No, it's more than that.
Tell me about him,
for example,
I don't imagine
he's married, is he?
No.
Hasn't he been mixed up
with some woman?
Oh, I don't mean trollops.
I mean
the old real love stuff
that crucifies you.
Maybe you're right,
I wouldn't be surprised.
I see.
You think I'm on the wrong track
and you're glad I am.
Because then I won't suspect
whatever it is he did
about the Great Cause.
That's another lie you keep
telling yourself, Larry,
that the good old cause
means nothing to you any more.
What the hell...
But you're wrong
about Parritt.
That's not
what's got him stopped,
it's what's behind that.
And it's a woman,
I recognize the symptoms.
And you're the boy
who's never wrong.
His trouble is he was
brought up a devout believer
in the Movement,
and now he's lost his faith!
It's a shock...
but he's young,
and he'll soon find
another dream just as good
or as bad.
All right, I'll let it go
at that, Larry.
He's nothing to me,
except that I'm glad he's here
'cause he'll help me
make you wake up to yourself.
I don't even like the guy,
or the feeling there's
anything between us.
But you'll find out
that I'm right just the same,
when you get to the final
showdown with him.
There'll be no showdown!
I don't give a tinker's...
Sticking to
the grandstand, eh?
I always knew that you'd be
the toughest of all the gang
to convince, Larry.
And along with Harry
and Jimmy Tomorrow.
It was you
I wanted to help the most.
I've always liked you a lot,
you old bastard.
Hey, not much time
before 12:00!
Well, come on, gang,
let's get going.
Come on, boys and girls,
let's get busy.
Let's see,
cake's all set.
And my gifts
and yours, girls.
It's a tie,
tie and a handkerchief.
Chuck and Rocky, hmm?
What's this for,
Hickey?
Harry certainly will be very
touched by your thoughts of him.
Now Margie and Pearl,
get back in the bar
and get ready
to bring the grub right in.
There'll be some
drinking first and some toasts.
My idea was to use
the wine for that,
so get that all set.
Now I'll go upstairs
and root everybody up,
Harry the last.
When you hear us coming,
somebody light the candles
and start playing
his favorite tune on the piano.
Well, come on, Cora,
everybody, let's hustle!
We want this to come off
in style, uh?
But Jees,
I gotta practice.
I ain't laid my mitts on a box
in God knows when.
Hey, Joe!
Oh, Jees, I've forgotten
this has-been tune.
Come on, Joe,
hum it so I can follow.
(humming)
Be God!
It's the second feast
of Belshazzar,
with Hickey to do
the writing on the wall!
Aw, shut up,
Old Cemetery!
Well, if it ain't
Prince Willie.
Gee, kid,
you look sick.
Get a couple
of shots in ya.
No, thanks, not now,
I'm-I'm-I'm tapering off.
It's been hell up in
that damned room, Larry.
The-the-the things
I've imagined!
(piano music, humming)
But...
I've-I've got it beat now.
By-by tomorrow morning I'll...
I'll be on the wagon.
And I'll, uh...
I'll get back my clothes
first thing.
Hickey's loaning
me the money.
And I'm goin' to do
what I always said.
I'm-I'm-I'm gonna go
to the D.A.'s office,
because he knows that I...
I-I really
was a brilliant student.
Oh, I know I can make good.
I-I owe a lot to Hickey.
He's...
made me wake up to myself
and see what a fool...
(laughs)
It wasn't nice to face but...
It's not what he says.
It's what you feel
behind what he hints!
Christ, you'd think
all I really wanted
to do with my life
was sit here
and stay drunk!
I'll show him!
You want my advice...
you'll put your mouth
on this bottle
and keep it there
until you don't
give a damn about Hickey.
(laughs)
That's fine advice.
I thought you
were my friend!
(piano music stops)
(steps approaching)
Gee, I'm glad
you're here, Larry.
That damned fool Hickey
knocked on my door.
I opened up because
I thought it must be you.
He came bustin' in and
made me come downstairs here.
(piano music resumes)
I don't know what for,
I don't belong at this
birthday celebration,
I don't know this gang,
and I don't wanna be
mixed up with them.
All I came here for
was to find you!
I've warned you that...
Can't you make Hickey
mind his own business?
Just now he pats me
on the shoulder,
like he's
sympathizing with me.
He says,
"I know how it is, son,
"but you can't hide
from yourself,
"not even here
on the bottom of the sea.
"You've gotta face the truth
and then do what must be done
"for your own peace
and for the happiness
of all concerned."
Now, what'd he mean
by that, Larry?
How the hell would I know?
Then he grins at me and says,
"Oh, never mind,
"Larry's getting
wise to himself.
"I think you can rely on his
help in the end.
"He's gonna have to choose
between living and dying,
"and he'll never
choose to die
while there's a breath
left in the old bastard!"
Then he laughs
like it's a joke on you.
Well, what do you say
to that, Larry?
I've got nothing to say.
Except you're a bigger fool
than he is
to listen to him.
Oh, is that so?
Well, he's no fool
where you're concerned.
He's got your number,
all right.
(piano playing continues)
You know
I don't mean that.
Larry, you know what I want most
is to be friends with you.
I haven't a single friend
left in the world.
I hoped...
I hoped you'd...
And you could, too,
without it hurting you.
You ought to,
for mother's sake, Larry.
She really loved you.
You loved her, too,
didn't you?
Leave what's dead
in its grave.
Oh, I suppose
because I was only a kid
you don't think I was
wise about you and her, uh?
Well, I've been wise
ever since I can remember
to all the guys
she's had.
Although she used to try
to kid me along
it wasn't so.
That's a silly stunt
for a free
Anarchist woman, isn't it?
To be ashamed
of being free!
Shut your damned trap!
Yes, I know I shouldn't
say that now.
I keep forgetting
she isn't free anymore.
You know, Larry,
you're the one of them all
she cared most about.
Anybody else who left
the Movement
would've been
more than dead to her,
but she couldn't forget you.
She used to make
excuses for you.
I used to try to get
her goat about you.
I'd say,
"Larry's got brains
and yet thinks the Movement's
a crazy pipe dream."
She'd blame it
on the booze getting you.
She'd kid herself that you'd
give up booze
and come back to
the Movement, tomorrow.
She used to say,
"Larry can't kill in himself
"a faith he's given
his life to,
not without
killing himself."
How about that, Larry,
what she right?
(Cora singing)
I suppose what she meant by that
was to come back to her.
She was always getting
the Movement
mixed up with herself.
(dishes rattling)
But I'm sure she really
must've loved you, Larry.
As much as she could love
anyone besides herself.
No, she wasn't even faithful
to you at that though, was she?
That's why you walked out
on her, isn't it?
I remember that last fight
you had with her.
I was listening.
I was on your side,
even if she was my mother,
because I liked you
so much.
I remember
she was putting on her
high-and-mighty
free-woman stuff,
telling you
you were still a slave
to bourgeois morality
and jealousy.
And that you thought
that the woman you loved
was a piece of
private property you owned.
And I remember you got mad,
you told her, "I don't like"
living with a whore,
if that's what you mean!"
You lie,
I never called her that!
And that's why
she still respects you!
See, 'cause you
walked out on her.
She got sick
of the others.
She just had to keep on having
lovers to prove to herself
how free she was.
Made home a lousy place.
I felt like you
did about it.
It was like living in
a whorehouse, only worse,
because she didn't have to make
her living at it, you know.
You bastard!
She's your mother.
Have you no shame?
No.
She brought me up to believe
that family-respect stuff
is all bourgeois,
property-owning crap.
Why should I be ashamed?
I've had enough of this!
No, Larry!
Please don't leave me!
Larry, I promise,
I only mentioned her name
to make you
understand better.
Why didn't you
come up to my room
like I asked you to?
I kept waiting...
We can talk over
everything up there.
There's nothing
to talk about.
But Larry, I gotta talk to you
or I'm gonna talk to Hickey!
I feel he knows, anyway,
and I'm sure
he'd understand all right,
but I hate his guts!
I'm scared of him, honest,
there's something not human
behind his damned grinning
and kidding.
Ah, you feel that too, eh?
But I can't go on like this,
I've gotta tell you, Larry.
I won't listen!
Okay, I won't!
Larry!
Who do you think
you're kidding?
I know damned well
you've guessed.
I guessed nothing.
No, but I want you
to guess now.
I'm glad you have.
I know now, since
Hickey's been after me,
that I meant you to guess
right from the start.
That's why I came to you.
I want you
to understand the reason.
You see,
I, I began to study
American history.
And I got admiring
Washington and Jefferson,
Jackson and Lincoln,
and I began to feel
patriotic
and love this country.
I saw it was the best
government in the world,
where everybody
was equal,
everybody had a chance.
And I saw all the ideas
behind the Movement,
they came from a lot of Russians
like Bakunin and Kropotkin.
They were all meant
for Europe.
So we didn't need them here
in a democracy,
the way we were
free already.
I didn't want this country
to be destroyed
for a damned
foreign pipe dream!
I began to feel like
I was a traitor
for helping
a lot of cranks and bums
and free women plot
to overthrow our government.
And I saw it was my,
my duty to my country...
You stinking rotten liar.
You think
you can fool me
with such hypocrite cant?
I don't give a damn
what you did!
It's on your own head,
whatever it was!
I don't know
and I don't want to know!
But Larry, I never thought
mother would be caught.
Please believe that,
I never would...
All I know is that
I am sick of living!
I'm through.
I'm drowned and contented
on the bottom of a bottle!
Honor or dishonor,
faith or treachery,
are nothing to me but opposites
of the same stupidity
that is the king
and ruler of life,
and in the end
they'll both rot into dust
in the same grave.
All things
are meaningless to me,
because they grin at me
from the one skull
of death.
So go away...
I've forgotten your mother.
You "old foolosopher," eh?
You lousy old faker!
For the love of God,
leave me in peace
the little time
that's left to me!
No!
Don't pull that pitiful
old-man junk on me!
You old bastard,
you'll never die
because there's a drink
of whiskey left!
You be careful how you
taunt me back into life,
I warn you.
Because I might remember
this thing called justice there,
and the punishment for...
You're as mad as Hickey...
just as big a liar.
Wait'll Hickey
gets through with you.
Well, hello,
"Tightwad Kid."
Hey, did you come
to join the party?
Oh, wow, boy,
don't he act bashful, Pearl?
Yeah, especially
with his dough.
(loud arguing in distance)
Hey, Rocky,
fighting in the hall!
(unintelligible shouting)
Don't touch me!
Can you beat it?
I heard you's two
call each other
every name
you can think of
but I never seen...
A swell time
to stage your first bout,
on Harry's birthday party!
What started
the scrap?
Nothing, old chap.
Our business, you know,
but that bloody ass, Hickey,
made some insinuation about me,
and the boorish Boer
had the impertinence
to agree with him!
That's a lie!
Hickey made joke about me,
and this Limey said
yes, it was true!
Well, sit down
the both of you!
And cut out
this rough stuff!
Jees, would you
look at those bums!
Like a couple of kids!
For God's sake, would you
kiss and make up, ah?
Yeah, Harry's party
begins in a minute,
and we don't want
no soreheads around here.
Oh, very well then.
In deference
to the occasion,
I apologize,
General Wetjoen,
provided
you do also.
I apologize,
Captain Lewis,
because Harry
is my good friend.
Aw, hell!
If you can't do
better than that...
Here's the star
boarder.
It's serious
this time.
I'm tellin' all of you,
that bastard Hickey's
got Harry on the hip.
And it ain't gonna do us
no good if he gets Harry
to take
that walk tomorrow.
He's sure to call
on Bessie's relations
and have a little
cry over poor old Bessie.
And you know
what that bitch
and all her family
thought of me!
Once Bessie's relations
get their hooks into him,
it'll be as tough for us
as if she
wasn't even gone.
Everything all set?
Ah, fine.
Half-a-minute to go,
Harry's starting down
with Jimmy now.
I had a hard time
getting him to move.
Harry don't even want to
remember it's his birthday now!
Oh, here they come!
Come on, everybody,
light the candles!
Cora, get ready to play,
stand up, everybody, eh?
Chuck, Rocky,
the wine!
Let's see, 12:00 o'clock
on the dot.
Come on, everybody,
with a "Happy Birthday, Harry!"
(all)
Happy Birthday, Harry!
Hey!
(Cora singing, playing piano)
Cut out the glad hand,
Hickey!
You think
I'm a sucker?
Bejees, I know you,
you sneaking,
lying drummer!
And all you bums,
what the hell
you trying to do,
yelling and raising
the roof?
You want the cops
to close the joint,
and take
my license away?
Hey,
you dumb tart,
quit banging that box.
Jees, Harry, I...
Bejees, the least you could do
is learn a tune.
You two hookers,
screaming at the top
of your lungs!
What do you think this is,
a dollar cathouse?
Bejees,
that's where you belong!
(crying)
Jees, Harry,
I never thought you'd say it
like you meant it.
Now, Harry, you don't want
to get sore at the gang
just 'cause you're upset
about yourself, hmm?
Look, anyway, I promised you
it'd come through all right,
haven't I?
So quit worrying.
Ahh...
You don't wanna
blow out the old gang
just when they're
congratulating you
on your birthday,
do you?
Bejees,
they ain't as dumb as you.
They know I was
only kiddin' 'em.
They know I appreciate
their congratulations.
Don't you, fellas, huh?
(Pat)
Yeah, sure Harry.
(affirmative exclamations)
Bejees,
I like you broads.
You know
I was only kiddin'.
Sure, we know,
Harry.
Sure!
Sure, Harry's the greatest
kidder in this dump,
and that's
sayin' somethin'.
Look how he's kidded himself
for 20 years.
But unless I'm wrong, Governor,
and I'm bettin' I'm not,
we'll soon know, eh?
Tomorrow morning.
No, by God,
it's this morning now.
This... this is
this morning?
Yes, it's the day
at last, Jimmy.
But don't be scared,
I'll help you,
I promised that.
I don't understand you.
Kindly remember
I'm fully capable
of settlin' my own affairs!
Well, isn't that exactly
what I want you to do?
Only watch out on the booze.
You've had a lot
to drink already,
and you don't want to let
yourself duck out of it
by being
too drunk to move,
not this time.
Bejees, Margie,
you know I didn't mean it.
It's that lousy drummer
riding me
that's got my goat.
I know, Harry,
I know.
Hey, come on,
look at your cake,
you haven't even
noticed it yet!
Ain't it grand?
Yeah, say,
that's pretty.
I ain't have had a cake
since Bessie...
And six candles, eh?
Mm-phm.
Each for 10 years, eh?
You got it.
That was
thoughtful of him.
He means well,
I guess...
The hell with this cake!
Oh, oh, wait, Harry!
You ain't seen
the presents
from me
and Margie and Cora,
and Chuck and Rocky.
And there's a watch
all engraved
with your name
and the date from Hickey.
Ah, the hell with it!
Bejees,
he can keep it!
Jees,
he ain't even goin'
to look at our presents!
Hey, hey,
come on everybody,
this is all wrong!
If someone don't put
some life in this party
I'm gonna go nuts!
Hey, Cora, come on!
Why don't
you bang on that box?
Eh...
ohh, play somethin'
for Harry, uh?
You don't have to stop
just 'cause he kidded you.
Yeah, now you was
playing it fine, Cora.
It was Bessie's
favorite tune.
She was always
singing it.
It brings her back,
I wish...
Yes, we've all heard
you tell us
that you thought
the world of her, Governor.
So I did, bejees...
everyone knows I did.
And bejees,
if you say I didn't...
Now, Governor,
I didn't say anything.
You're the only one that knows
the truth about that.
Marjorie's favorite song
was "Loch Lomond."
She was beautiful,
she had
a beautiful voice,
and she played the piano
beautifully.
You were lucky, Harry,
Bessie died.
But there are more
bitter sorrows
than losing
the woman one loves
by the hand of death.
Now, you needn't
go on, Jimmy.
We've all heard the story about
how you came back to Cape Town
and found her in the hay
with a staff officer.
We all know that you'd
like to believe that
that's what started you
on the booze
and ruined your life.
(crying)
I... I'm talking to Harry.
Will you kindly
keep out of...
(weeping)
My life is not ruined!
But I'll bet when you admit
the truth to yourself,
you'll confess it,
you were pretty sick
of her hating you
for getting drunk.
And I'll bet you were
really damned relieved
when she gave you
such a good excuse.
I know how it is,
Jimmy,
you see, I...
Ha!
So that's what
happened, is it?
Your iceman joke finally
came home to roost, did it?
Maybe you
should've remembered
there's truth
in the old superstition
that you'd better
look out what you call,
because in the end
it comes to you.
Was that a fact,
Larry?
Well, well.
Then you'd better
be careful
how you keep calling
for the old Big Sleep.
Chair.
Well, what are we
waiting for, boys and girls?
Let's get
this party rolling!
Chuck, Rocky,
bring on the big surprise!
Oh, Governor, you sit over here
at the head of the table.
Come on.
Well, sit down,
girls, sit down.
And I'll sit here
at the foot.
Real champagne, bums,
cheer up!
What is this,
a funeral?
Mixin' champagne
with Harry's redeye
will knock you
paralyzed!
Ain't you never
satisfied?
Order, order,
Ladies and gents!
Oh, yes, I am going to drink
with you this time, Larry.
To prove
that I'm not teetotal
because the booze'll
make me spill my secrets,
as you think.
I don't need
the booze anymore,
or anything else.
I just want to be sociable
and propose a toast
in honor of our
old friend, Harry,
and drink it with you.
Wake up our
demon bomb-tosser, Rocky.
We don't want any corpses
at this feast.
Hey, Hugo,
come up for air!
Don't you see
the champagne?
Hah.
We will eat birthday cake
and drink champagne
beneath the willow trees!
(chuckling)
(chokes)
This wine
is unfit to drink!
It has not properly
been iced!
Always a high-toned
swell at heart,
eh, Hugo?
Well, God help us poor bums
if you'd ever got
to telling us
where to get off.
You'd have been drinking
our blood beneath
(fake Russian accent)
those willow trees!
But here's the toast,
Ladies and gents.
Here's to Harry Hope,
who's been a friend in need
to every one of us.
And here's to
the old Governor,
the best sport
and the kindest,
biggest-hearted guy
in the world.
Come on, everybody,
to Harry!
Bottoms up.
(all)
To Harry!
To you, boss.
Happy Birthday!
Thanks, all of you.
Hickey,
you old son of a bitch,
that's white of you.
I know you
meant it, too.
Of course I meant it,
Harry, old friend.
And I mean it when I say
that I hope that this will be
the biggest day
in your life,
and in the lives
of everyone here,
and the beginning
of a new life
of peace and contentment.
And here's to that,
Harry.
Oh, forget
that bughouse line
of bull for a minute,
can't you?
You're right, Rocky,
I am talking too much.
It's Harry
we want to hear from.
Speech, speech, speech!
(all agreeing)
Bejees, I'm...
I'm no good
at speeches.
All I can say is
thanks to everybody again
for remembering me
on my birthday.
Only don't think
because I'm 60,
I'll be a bigger damned fool
easy mark than ever!
Like Hickey says,
it's gonna be a new day!
This dump has got to be run
like other dumps,
so I can make some money
and not just split even.
I'm sick of bein'
played for a sucker.
I know you're all
laughin' at me now
behind my back,
thinking to yourselves,
"The old, lying'
pipe-dreaming faker,
"we've heard his bull
"about takin' a walk
around the ward for years,
"he'll never make it!
"He's scared,
he's yellow,
"he ain't got the guts!
He's scared
he'll find out... ".
But I'll show you,
bejees!
And I'll show you, too,
you son of a bitch
of a frying-pan-peddling
bastard!
Hu, hu, hu,
that's the stuff, Harry!
Of course
you'll try to show me,
that's what
I want you to do.
Bejees...
all of you, forgive me.
I lost my temper.
I ain't feeling well.
I got a hell
of a grouch on.
You're as welcome
as the flowers in May!
Oh, sure, boss,
you're always aces
with us, see?
Listen, everybody.
I know you're sick
of my gabbing, but, uh,
I think I owe it to you
to do a little explaining
and apologize
for some of the rough stuff
I've had to pull on you.
I had to make you help
each other with me, eh?
I saw that I couldn't do
what I had to do alone.
Not in the time
at my disposal.
I knew when I came here
I wouldn't be able to stay long.
I'm slated to leave
on a trip.
Now I know
every one of you,
inside and out,
by heart.
I may have been drunk
when I've been here before,
but old Hickey
could never be so drunk
he couldn't have to see
through everybody.
Everybody, that is,
except himself.
And finally, he had to
see through himself, too.
Now I swear I would've
never acted this way
if I didn't absolutely believe
it'd be worthwhile to you
in the end.
When you're rid of
the damned guilt
that makes you
lie to yourselves
that you're something
you're not,
and the remorse
that nags at you
and makes you hide behind
lousy pipe dreams,
you won't give a damn
what you are anymore.
I wouldn't say this unless
I knew, brothers and sisters.
This peace is real,
it is a fact.
I know, because I've got it,
here, now,
right in front of you.
Well, you can see
the difference in me.
You remember
how I used to be.
Even when I had two quarts
of rotgut under my belt,
and joked and sang
"Sweet Adeline,"
I still felt like
a guilty skunk.
But you can see that I don't
give a damn
about anything anymore.
And I promise you,
by the time
this day is over,
I'll have every one of you
feeling the same way.
I guess that's about all from me
for the present, boys and girls.
So, let's get on
with the party.
(Larry)
Wait!
I think it would help us,
poor pipe-dreaming sinners
along the sawdust trail
to salvation,
if you told us now
what it was happened
that converted you
to this great peace
you've found.
I noticed you
didn't say anything
when I asked you
about the iceman.
Did this great revelation
of the evil habit
of dreaming about tomorrow
come to you after you found out
your wife was sick of you?
Bejees, you've hit it,
Larry.
I've noticed he hasn't
shown her picture around
this time.
He hasn't got it!
The iceman took it
away from him!
Jees,
look at him!
Who could blame her?
She must be hard up
to fall for an iceman!
Imagine a sap like him
advisin' me and Chuck
to get married.
Yeah, he done
so good with it.
At least I can say
that Marjorie
chose an officer
and a gentleman.
Come to look at you,
Hickey, old chap,
you've sprouting horns
like a bloody
antelope!
Bigger, by God,
like a water buffalo's!
(imitating buffalo sound)
"Oh come up"
she cried,
"My iceman lad
"And you
and I'll agree
"And I'll show you
the prettiest
(banging table)
"That ever you
did see"
(mocking laughter)
Well, I'm glad to see you
get in good spirits
for Harry's party,
even if the joke
is on me.
Well, I'll admit
I always asked for it
in the old days
by pulling that iceman gag,
so, uh, laugh all you like.
(mocking laughter)
Well, I guess
this forces my hand,
by brining up the subject
of Evelyn.
I had wanted to wait
until the party was over,
But, uh,
you're getting the wrong idea
about poor Evelyn,
and I've got to stop that.
I'm sorry to tell you
that my dearly beloved wife
is dead.
Be God...
I felt he had
the touch of death on him.
Forgive me, Hickey...
I'd like to cut
my dirty tongue out.
Now, look everybody, you mustn't
let this be a wet blanket on.
Harry's birthday party.
You're still
getting me all wrong.
There's no reason...
You see,
I don't feel any grief.
I've got to feel glad,
for her sake,
because she's at peace;
she's rid of me
at last.
And you can imagine
what I was like being married
to a no-good
drunken cheater like me.
And there was no way
out of it for her,
because she loved me.
But now she is at peace,
like she always
longed to be.
So why should I feel sad?
She wouldn't want me
to feel sad.
Why, all that Evelyn
ever wanted out of life
was to make me happy.
Eh, nothin' now 'till
the noon rush from the market.
If I ain't a sap to let Chuck
kid me into workin' his time
so he can take
the morning off.
But I got sick
of arguing.
I says: "All right, get
married! What's it to me?"
(Joe sighing)
Some party
last night, eh?
It was jinxed
from the start,
but his tellin' about his wife
croakin' put de K.O. on it.
It was the birthday feast
that turned out to be a wake.
Him promisin' he'd cut out that
bughouse bull about peace.
And then he went on talkin' and
talkin' like he couldn't stop.
And the gang, sneakin'
upstairs, leavin' free booze
and eats like they
was poison.
He's been hoppin' from room
to room, all night.
He's got his Reform Wave
goin' strong this mornin'.
Did you notice him drag
Jimmy out the first thing
to get his laundry
and his clothes pressed
so he wouldn't have
no excuse?
And he give Willie
the dough
to buy his stuff
back from Solly's.
And all the rest
have been brushin'
and shavin' themselves
with the shakes.
He didn't come
to my room.
Afraid I might ask him
a few questions.
Yeah? I'd say you
was scared of him.
You'd lie then.
Don't let him kid you, Rocky.
He had his door locked,
I couldn't get in, either.
Yeah, who do you think
you're kiddin', Larry?
Like he says, if you
was so anxious to croak,
why wouldn't you hop off
your fire escape long ago?
Because it'd be a coward's
quitting, that's why.
He's all
quitter, Rocky.
He's a yellow
old faker.
You lying punk!
Yeah, keep out of this, you!
Shall I give him
the bum's rush, Larry?
You don't want him around,
nobody else don't.
No, let him stay,
I don't mind.
He's nothing to me.
You're right.
I have nowhere I can go now,
you're the only one
in the world
I can turn to.
Eh, you're a soft
old sap, Larry.
He's a no-good
louse like Hickey.
He don't belong!
I'm all in,
not a wink of sleep.
Larry, I'm sorry
for ridin' you.
But you get my goat
when you act as if
you didn't care a damn
what happened to me.
And you keep your door locked
so I can't talk to you.
But that was to keep
Hickey out, wasn't it?
I don't blame you, I'm getting
more and more to hate him.
More and more
scared of him.
Especially since he told us
about his wife being dead.
It's that queer
feeling he gives me
that I'm mixed up
with him in some way.
I don't know why, but it started
me thinking about mother.
As if she
was dead.
I suppose she
might as well be.
It must kill her when
she thinks of me.
I know she doesn't want to,
but... she can't help it.
After all,
I'm her only kid.
She used to spoil me,
and made a pet of me.
Once in a
great while...
when she
remembered me.
As if she was trying to
make up for something.
As if she was...
feeling guilty.
So I guess she must have
loved me a little,
even if she never let it
interfere with her freedom.
You know, Larry...
I once had a sneaking
suspicion that,
if the truth were
known, you were my father.
You damned fool!
Who put that insane
idea in your head?
Anyone in the coast crowd
could tell I never laid eyes
on your mother 'till
after you were born.
Well, I'd hardly
ask them, would I?
I know you're right,
though, because I asked her.
She brought me up to be frank
and ask her anything.
I was talking about how
she must feel now about me.
My getting through
with the Movement.
Oh, she'll never
forgive me for that.
That must be the final knockout,
if she knows that I was the one
who sold out...
Shut up, damn you! Shut up.
It'll kill her!
But Larry...
I never thought that they
would have caught her!
You've got to believe
what the only reason was.
Now I'll admit, what I told you
last night... that was a lie.
All that bunk
about feeling patriotic
and my duty
to my country.
But here's the true reason,
the only reason, Larry.
See, I got stuck on this
whore... and I wanted dough!
That's the only reason,
that's all I did it for!
Just the money,
honest!
God damn you,
shut up!
What the hell
is it to me?
What's comin' off here?
Nothing.
This young punk
is talking my ear off.
He's a worse pest
than Hickey.
(yawning)
Oh, yeah, Hickey.
Say, listen, what do you
mean about him being scared
you'd ask him questions?
What questions?
What questions? Well, you noticed
he didn't tell us what his wife died of.
Oh, lay off of that,
the poor guy!
What are you
gettin' at, anyway?
You don't think it's just a gag of his?
No, no I don't.
I'm damned sure he brought
death here with him,
I can smell the cold touch of it upon him.
Oh, bunk.
You got croakin' on
the brain, Old Cemetery.
Say, do you mean you think
she committed suicide
on account of his
cheatin' or something?
It wouldn't surprise me.
But that's crazy.
Jees, if she'd done that,
he wouldn't tell us
he was glad about it,
would he?
You know her
better than that, Larry.
You know she'd never
commit suicide.
She's like you,
she'll hang on to life
even when there's nothing...
And what about you?
Be God, if you had
any guts or decency!
I'd take that hop off
the fire escape
you're too yellow to take, I suppose, ah?
No!
I'm done with...
Yeah, I suppose you'd like that!
What the hell's
all this about?
What do you know
about Hickey's wife?
How do you know she didn't...?
He doesn't!
Hickey's addled
the little brains he's got.
Shove him back
to his table, Rocky.
I'm sick of him.
You heard Larry!
So move, quick.
Gee, Larry... that's
a hell of a way to treat me
after I've trusted you,
and I need your help.
Jees... if she
committed suicide,
you gotta feel sorry
for Hickey, huh?
You can understand how
he'd go bughouse, and not be
responsible for all the crazy
stunts he's stagin' here.
But how can you be
sorry for him when he says
he's glad she croaked?
Oh, nuts!
I don't get nowhere
tryin' to figure his game.
But I know this: He better
lay off of me and my stable.
Jees, Larry! What a night
them two pigs give me.
When the party went dead,
they pinched a couple of bottles
and brung them
up their room.
I don't get a wink
of sleep, see?
Just as I'd drop off
on that chair there,
they come down
lookin' for trouble.
Or else they'd raise hell
upstairs, laughin' and singin',
so that I'd get scared
they'd get the joint pinched
and go up to tell
them to can the noise.
And every time they'd crawl my
frame with de same old argument.
They'd say:
(imitating Maggie)
"So you agree with Hickey, do you?
"You dirty little Ginny!
So we're whores, are we?
"Well, we agree with Hickey
about you, see?
"You're nothin' but a lousy
pimp!" Then I'd slap them.
But it don't do no good!
They keep at it over and over.
Jees, I get the earache
just thinkin' of it.
"Listen," they'd say, "if we're
whores, we got a right to have
"a regular pimp and not stand
for no punk imitation!"
"We're sick of wearin'
out our dogs poundin'"
"the sidewalks for
a double-crossin' bartender,"
"when all the thanks we get
is he looks down on us."
"Don't expect us to work
tonight, 'cause we won't, see?"
"Not if the streets
were blocked with sailors!"
"We're goin' on strike!"
Whores goin' on strike!
Can you tie that?
They'd say:
"We're takin' a holiday.
"We're goin' to beat it
to Coney Island and shoot
"the chutes, and maybe we'll
come back and maybe we won't.
"And you can go to hell!"
So they put on their lids
and beat it, the both
of them stinko!
Hey, Rocky, Cora wants
a sherry flip, for her nerves.
"Sherry flip?"
Christ, she don't need nothin'
for her nerve.
What's she think this is, the Waldorf?
Yeah, I told her.
"What would we use
for sherry?"
And there wasn't no egg
unless she laid one.
(imitating Cora) She says,
"Is there a law you can't go out"
"and buy the makings,
you big tramp?"
Ah, the hell with her! She'll
drink booze or nothin'. Oh, jees!
A guy oughta give his
bride anything she wants
on her weddin' day,
I should think.
Pipe the bridegroom, Larry!
All dolled up for the killin'. Aw, shut up.
One week on that farm in Jersey,
that's what I'll give you.
And you'll come runnin'
in here some night yellin'
for a shot of booze because
the crickets is after you.
Oh, jees, Chuck, that
louse Hickey's certainly
made a prize couple
of suckers outta you.
I'd like to give him one sock
in the puss, just one.
Oh, can that!
What's he got to do with it?
And ain't we always
said we was gonna?
So we're gonna, see? And
don't give me no arguments!
If only Cora cut out
the beefin',
and she don't gimme
a minute's rest all night.
It's the same old stuff,
over and over.
(imitating Cora's voice)
Do I really want to marry her?
I says: "Sure, Baby, why
not?" "Yeah," she says,
"but after a week you'll be
thinkin' what a sap you was."
"You'll make that an excuse
to go off on a periodical,"
"and then I'll be tied
for life to a no-good soak!"
"And the first thing
I know you'll have me out"
"hustlin' again,
your own wife!"
Then she'd bust out cryin',
and I'd get sore.
"You're a liar!" I tells her,
"I ain't never taken your dough
"except when I was drunk
and not workin'."
"Yeah," she says, "and how
long will you stay sober now?
"Don't think you can kid me
with that water-wagon bull.
"I've heard it too often!"
That'd make me sore,
and I'd say: "Don't
call me a liar",
"but I wish I was drunk
right now, because if I was,
"you wouldn't be keepin' me
awake all night beefin'.
You opened your yap, I'd knock
de stuffins outta you!"
Then she'd yell:
"That's a sweet way"
"to talk to the girl you're
goin' to marry!"
Jees, she got me
hangin' in the ropes!
I'd like to get a quart
of that redeye under my belt!
Well, why the hell
don't you?
Sure, you'd like that,
wouldn'tyou? I'm wise to you.
You don't wanna
see me get married
and settle down,
like a regular guy.
You'd like me to stay
paralyzed all the time,
so I'd be like you,
a lousy pimp!
Listen! I don't take that
even from you, see?
Yeah? You wanna make
somethin' of it?
Don't make me laugh! I can
lick ten of you with one mitt!
Not with lead in
your belly, you won't!
Hey you, Rocky
and Chuck, cut it out!
Don't let that Hickey
make you crazy.
Keep out of our business,
you black bastard.
Stay where you belong,
you dirty nigger!
You white sons of bitches!
I'll rip your guts out!
(glass shattering)
That's it! Murder each
other, you damned loons!
With Hickey's
blessing!
Didn't I tell you he
brought death with him?
All right, you...
let go of that shiv,
and I'll put
this gun away.
(Hugo giggling maniacally)
Hello, little people!
Never mind.
Soon you will eat hot dogs
beneath the willow trees,
and drink free wine!
The champagne
was not properly iced.
Goddamned liar,
Hickey!
Does that prove
I want to be aristocrat?
I love only
the proletariat!
I will lead them! I will
be like a God to them!
They will be
my slaves!
I'm very drunk,
no, Larry?
I talk foolishness.
I am so drunk, Larry,
old friend, am I not?
I don't know
what I say.
I've never seen you
so paralyzed.
Now lay your head on
the table and sleep it off.
Yeah, I should sleep...
I'm too crazy drunk.
You right, Larry.
Bad luck come in the door
the day Hickey come.
I'm an old
gamblin' man,
and I knows bad luck
when I feels it.
But it's white
man's bad luck.
He can't jinx me.
The bread's cut, and
I finished my job.
Now, do I get
the drink I earned?
Here's the key
to my room.
I ain't
comin' back!
I'm goin' to my own
folks where I belong.
I'm sick and tired of messin'
around with white men.
(glass shattering)
What the hell?
I'm only savin' you
the trouble, white boy!
Now you don't have to break it
as soon's my back's turned,
so there's no
white man can kick about
drinkin' from
the same glass!
I'm tired of loafin' around
with a lot of bums.
I'm a gamblin' man.
I'm gonna get in a big crap game
and win me a big bankroll.
And then I'll get
the okay to open up
my old gamblin' house
for colored men.
And then maybe
I comes back here
sometimes to see
the bums.
And maybe I throws a $20 bill
down on the bar and says:
"Drink it up,"
and listen when
they all pat me
on the back and say:
"Joe, you sure is white,"
but I'll say:
"No, I'm black and
my dough is black man's dough!"
"And you's proud to drink with
me or you don't get no drink!"
Or maybe I'd just says:
"You can all go to hell!"
"I don't lower myself
drinkin' with no white trash."
And that ain't
no pipe dream.
I'll get the money for my stake
today, somewhere, somehow.
If I have to borrow
a gun and stick up
some white man,
I gets it!
You wait and see.
Can you beat the nerve
of that "dinge."
Jees, if I wasn't
dressed up I'd go out
and mop up the street with him.
Oh, let him go.
The poor old dope, him
and his gamblin' house.
He'll be back tonight
askin' Harry for his room
and bummin' me
for a ball.
Then I'll be the one
to smash the glass.
I'll loin him
his place.
Another guy
all dolled up.
Got your clothes
from Solly's, huh, Willie?
Now you can sell it back
to him again tomorrow. (indistinct)
No, I-I'm through
with that stuff.
You look sick, Willie; here,
take a ball, will pick you up.
Eh, no thanks, the only way
to stop is to stop.
I'd have no chance if I
went to the D.A.'s office
smelling of booze.
You're really goin' there?
I said I was,
didn't I?
I just came back here
to rest for a few minutes.
I'll show
that cheap drummer!
I don't need to have to have
any Dutch courage.
But he's, he's been very kind
and generous staking me.
You know, my, my
legs are a bit shaky.
I better sit down
a while.
Here's another one.
Hey, good morning,
gentlemen all.
And a jolly good
morning it is, too.
An eye-opener?
I think not,
Rocky, old chum...
not required, you know?
Feel extremely fit,
as a matter of fact.
Can't say that
I slept much, though,
thanks to that interfering
ass, Hickey,
and that stupid
bounder of a Boer.
I've had about all I can
take from that fellow.
Oh, well, it's my own
fault, I suppose, for allowing
a brute of a Dutch farmer
to become familiar.
Well, it's come
to a parting of the ways.
And jolly
good riddance.
Oh, that reminds me...
here's my key.
I shan't be coming back.
Sorry to be leaving good old
Harry and the rest of you,
of course, but I simply
cannot continue to live
under the same roof
with that fellow.
So Hickey's kidded the pants
off of you, too?
You think you're
leavin' here, huh?
Ja! That's what
he kids himself.
Yes, I'm leaving,
Rocky.
Not that that ass, Hickey,
has anything to do with it.
But been thinking
this over, you know?
Time I turned over
a new leaf.
He's gonna get a job,
that's what he says.
What at,
for Christ's sake?
Oh, anything... not manual
labor, of course.
Anything that calls for a bit
of brains and education.
I'll see a pal of mine
at the Consulate.
He promised me whenever
I felt an energetic fit
he'd get me a post
with the Cunard.
Clark, in the office,
something of that kind.
Ja! At Limey Consulate
they promise anything
to get rid of him when
he comes there drunk.
They're scared to call the
police and have him pinched,
because it would scandal
in the papers make
about a Limey
officer and gentleman.
I only need the post
temporarily, Rocky.
Means to an end,
you know.
Save enough for
a passage...
a first-class passage home,
that's the bright idea.
(Wetjoen laughing)
He's sailing back
to home, sweet home!
That's biggest pipe
dream of all!
What little brain
the poor Limey has left
that isn't in whiskey pickled,
Hickey has made crazy!
Hickey ain't made
no sucker out of you, eh?
You're too
foxy, huh?
But I bet you think you're goin'
out and land a job, too.
I am, ja! For me,
it is easy.
Because I put on
no airs of gentleman.
I'm not ashamed to work
with my hands.
I was a farmer
before the war,
when bloody Limey thieves
steal my country.
Anyone I ask for job
can see with one look
I have the great strength to do
work of ten ordinary mens.
Yes, you remember, Chuck,
he gave us a demonstration
of his extraordinary
muscles last night
when he helped
to move the piano.
You couldn't even
hold up your corner.
It was your fault the damned
box almost fell over.
My hands was sweaty! Could I
help that my hands slip?
I could do whole
weight of it lift!
In old days in Transvaal, I lift
loaded oxcart by the axle.
So, why
shouldn't I get job?
That longshoreman
boss, Dan, he tell me
any time I like,
he'd take me on.
And Benny, from de Market,
he promise me same!
You remember, Rocky, it was
one of those rare occasions
when the Boer
that walks like a man,
spelled with a double "O",
by the way,
was buying drinks when Dan
and Benny were stony.
They'd have promised
him the bloody moon!
(Lewis laughing)
Yeah, yuh big boob.
Them birds was only
kiddin' you.
(pounding bar) That's lie!
You will see, this morning I get job.
I'll show that...
bloody Limey gentleman,
and that liar,
Hickey!
And I need work
only little while
to save money
for my passage home.
I need not much money
because I am not ashamed
to travel steerage.
I don't put on
first-cabin airs!
And I can go home
to my country!
When I get there, they
will let me in! Heh!
There was a rumor
in South Africa
that a certain Boer
officer, if you can call
the leaders of a rabble of Dutch
farmers officers, he kept
advising Cronje to retreat,
and to not stand and fight.
And I was right!
I was right!
He got surrounded
at Poardeberg!
(giggling)
He had to surrender.
Good strategy, no doubt,
but a suspicion
grew afterwards into a
conviction among the Boers
that the officer's caution
was prompted by a desire
for his personal
escape.
His countrymen were
extremely savage about it,
and his
family disowned him.
So I imagine there won't be
any welcoming committee waiting
on the dock... nor any
delighted relatives
making the "veldt" ring
with their happy cries
of "Welcome home,
Gen. Wet..."
All lies!
You Goddamned Limey!
I also have heard rumors
of a Limey officer who
after the war
lost all his money
gambling when he
was drunk.
But they found out it was
regiment money, too, he lost!
Ah, you bloody
Dutch scum!
Cut it out!
Let him come!
I saw them come before!
Modder River, Magersfontein,
Spion Kopje, waving their silly
swords, so afraid they couldn't
show how brave
they was!
And I kill them with
my rifle so easy!
Listen to me,
you Cecil!
Often when I'm drunk
and kidding you I say I'm sorry
I missed you, but now,
by God, I am sober!
And I don't joke, and I say it!
(slamming table) Be God!
You can't say Hickey hasn't got
the miraculous touch to raise
the dead, when he can start
the Boer War raging again!
Well... it's time
I was on my merry way.
The early bird catches
the job, what?
Good-bye and good luck,
Rocky, and the rest of you.
By God, if that Limey
can go... I can go.
Well, why don't
you beat it?
Eh? Oh... just
been thinking.
Hardly the decent thing
to push off without
saying good-bye
to old Harry.
One of the best, old Harry,
and good old Jimmy.
They ought to be
down very soon.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I seem to be
blocking your way out.
No... I will wait to say
good-bye to Harry, too.
Jees, can you beat
them simps!
Oh, hell, I forgot Cora!
She'll be throwin' a fit!
That's right, wait on her
and spoil her, you poor sap!
Psst! Look here,
Parritt.
I'd like to have
a talk with you.
About what?
About the trouble you're in.
Oh, I know, I know,
you don't admit it.
And you're quite right,
that's my advice.
Deny everything,
Say, what the hell are you accusing me of?
Make no statements whatever
without consulting
your attorney,
keep your mouth shut.
Look, you can trust me,
I'm a lawyer.
And it's occurred to me that
you and I ought to co-operate.
Of course I'm... going to see
the D.A. this morning
about a job on his staff,
but... that may take time.
There may not be...
an immediate opening.
And meanwhile it, it would
be a good idea for me to take
a case or two, on my own,
just to prove that
my... brilliant record in law
school was no flash in the pan.
So, why not... retain me
as your attorney?
You're crazy, what do I
want with a lawyer?
Yeah, that's right,
don't admit anything.
But you can trust me, so let's
not beat about the bush.
You got in trouble
out on the coast, eh?
Now you're in hiding,
any fool can spot that.
You... feel safe here, and
maybe you are for a while.
But remember, they
get you in the end.
(Parritt laughing)
I know, from my father's experience.
Nobody could have felt
safer than he did.
When anybody mentioned the law
to him, he nearly died laughing.
But...
You crazy mutt!
(shouting)
You hear that, Larry?
This damned fool here thinks
the cops are after me!
I wish to God
they were.
And so should you, if you
had the honor of a louse!
Oh, and you're the guy
who kids himself he's through
with the Movement; you're
still in love with it!
You mean you're not
in trouble, Parritt?
I was hoping...
Eh, never mind.
No, no offense
meant... Parritt.
That's all right, Willie...
I'm not sore at you.
It's that damned yellow
faker that gets in my goat.
I think I
understand, Larry.
It's really mother that
you still love... isn't it?
In spite of that dirty
deal she gave you.
But what the hell
did you expect?
She was never true to anyone
but herself and the Movement.
But Larry, I can,
I can understand
how you still
can't help feeling.
See, because I still
love her too.
So you see,
I couldn't have
expected that they'd
catch her, Larry.
You gotta believe me that I
only sold them out just to get
a few lousy dollars
to blow in on a whore.
Now there's no
other reason, honest!
For the love of Christ,
will you leave me in peace!
If you don't keep still, you'll
be saying something soon
that will make you vomit
your own soul like a drink
of nickel rotgut
that won't stay down!
Larry, don't go!
You've got to help me!
Set 'em up, Rocky! I swore
I'd have no more drinks
on Hickey, if I died of drought,
but I've changed my mind!
Be God, he
owed it to me!
I'd be blind
to the world now,
if it was the Iceman of Death
himself treating.
What made me say
that, I wonder.
Oh, my God, it fits,
for Death was
the iceman that Hickey
called to his home.
Oh, forget
the iceman gag!
The poor dame
is dead!
Go on
and get paralyzed.
I'll be glad to see one bum
in this dump act natural.
Come and sit
here, Mac.
You're just the man
I wanna see.
If I'm to take
your case, we ought
to have a talk before we leave.
There'll be no talk.
You damned fool,
do you think I'd have
your father's son
for my lawyer?
They'd take
one look at you
and bounce us both
out on our necks.
Hmm!
I don't need a lawyer, anyway.
Hell with the law!
All I've got to do
is see the right ones,
get them to pass
the word.
They will, too,
they know I was framed.
And once the word
is passed,
it's as good as
done, law or no law!
Here's my key,
Rocky.
I'd rather sleep
in the gutter than spend
another night under the same
roof as that drummer.
Son of a drummer!
Well, you birds give me a pain.
It'd serve you right
if I wouldn't give
the keys back
to you tonight.
Hello, everybody!
Here we go!
Hi-Hi-Hickey just told us
ain't it time we beat it,
if we was
really goin'.
So we're showin' the
bastard, ain't we, honey?
He's comin' right down
with Harry and Jimmy.
Jees... them two look like they
was goin' to the electric chair!
Well, let's get
goin', honey.
Before
he comes down.
Sure, anything you say, baby.
Yeah?
Well, I say we stop at
the first regular dump
and, and you gotta blow me
to a sherry flip,
or four or five,
if I want 'em!
Or all bets is off!
But you got a fine bun on now!
Oh, cheap skate.
Well, here, use my money
then, if you're so stingy.
You'll grab it all, anyways,
right after de ceremony.
I know you.
Here, you
big tramp.
Keep your
lousy dough!
And don't show your legs off
to these bums when you're goin'
to be married if you don't
want a sock in the puss!
Oh, all right,
honey!
Say, why don't all you barflies
come to the weddin'?
Well, we're
goin', guys.
Say, Rocky, are you
goin' "deef"?
I said me and Chuck
was goin' now!
Well, good-bye, give
my love to Jersey.
Well, ain't you
even goin' to wish us
happiness, you dirty
little Ginny?
Sure...
here's hopin' you
don't murder each other
before next week.
Oh, baby, what do we
care for that pimp?
Here's Hickey comin'!
Let's get outta here!
(voices of Hickey and Harry
approaching)
Well, here we are, we got
this far at least.
Good work, Jimmy.
I told you you weren't half as
sick as you're pretending to be.
No excuse whatever
for postponing now.
Kindly keep your hands
to yourself.
I merely mentioned
I would feel more fit tomorrow.
But... it might as well
be today, I suppose.
Finish it now so it'll be dead
forever, and you'll be free.
Well, cheer up,
Harry.
You noticed your
rheumatism didn't bother you
coming down the stairs,
didn't you?
You're the damnedest
one for alibis, Governor.
I can't hear you...
You're a liar!
I've had rheumatism
on and off for 20 years.
Ever since Bessie died.
Yes, we all know
it's the kind of rheumatism
you turn on and off.
We're on to you,
you old faker!
Bejees, what are all you bums
hanging round staring at me for?
Why don't you get
the hell out of here
and 'tend to your own business,
like Hickey's told you?
Yes, Harry, I certainly
thought they would have
had the guts to have
been gone by this time.
Or maybe I did
have my doubts.
Because I know exactly
what you're up against, boys.
I know you'll turn into such
a coward that you'll grab
at any lousy excuse not
to kill your pipe dreams.
And yet, as I've said
over and over again,
it's exactly those damned
lying tomorrow dreams
that keep you from
making peace with yourself.
So you've got to kill them,
like I did mine.
Well, come on,
boys, get moving!
Who's going to start
the ball rolling?
Well you, captain,
and you, general.
You're nearest
to the door.
And besides, you're
old war heroes.
You ought to lead
this forlorn hope.
Well, come on, now!
And show us a little
of that old
Battle of The Modder River
spirit we've heard
so much about.
You can't hang around
here all day looking
like you were scared the street
outside would bite you.
Right you are, Mr. Nosey
Bloody Parker!
Time I pushed off.
Was only waiting to say good-bye
to you, Harry, old chum.
Good-bye, captain,
hope you have luck.
Oh, I'm bound to, old chap,
and the same to you.
By God, if that
Limey can, I can.
(Wetjoen grunting)
Well, next?
Come on, Mac.
It's a fine
summer's day.
That's the stuff,
Mac.
Good-bye, Harry, thanks
for all your kindness.
That's
the way, Willie.
Oh, the D.A.'s
a busy man, Willie.
You can't keep him waiting
all day, you know.
Good luck,
Willie.
Now it's your turn,
Jimmy, old pal.
Jimmy.
You can't do that to yourself,
Jimmy, old pal!
One drink on top
of your hangover
on an empty stomach,
you'll be oreyeyed.
Tomorrow... I'll be
in good shape tomorrow!
All right,
I'm going.
Take your hands
off me!
Dirty swine!
(laughing)
All set for an alcohol rub!
I... no hard feelings,
I know how he feels.
I wrote the book!
I've seen the day if...
anybody forced me
to face the truth
about my pipe dreams,
I'd have shot them dead!
Well, Governor...
Jimmy made the grade.
Now it's your turn.
Leave Harry
alone, damn you!
I'd make up my mind
about myself if I
were you, Larry,
and not bother over Harry.
He doesn't need anyone's bum
pity, do you, Governor?
No, bejees! Keep your nose
out of this, Larry.
I've always been going
to take this walk, ain't I?
You bums want to keep me locked
up in here as if I was in jail!
I've stood it
long enough.
I'll do as I
damned please, bejees.
You keep your nose
out too, Hickey.
Bejees, you'd think you was
the boss of this dump, not me.
What the hell's
to be scared of?
Sure I'm all right! Just taking
a stroll around my own ward.
What's the weather like outside, Rocky?
Fine day, boss.
Sorry I can't hear you.
Don't look fine
to me.
Looks if it'd pour down
cats and dogs any minute.
My rheumati...
No, no, must be my eyes.
Half blind, bejees.
Makes things look black;
I see now it's a fine day.
Too damned hot for a walk,
though, if you ask me, eh?
Well, do me good to sweat
the booze out of me.
But I'll have to watch out
for the damned automobiles.
Wasn't none of them
around the last time.
From what I've seen
through the window,
they'd run over you as
soon as look at you.
Well,
so long.
Bejees, where are you, Hickey?
It's time we got started.
No, no, Harry,
can't be done.
You got to keep a date
with yourself alone.
Hell of a guy
you are.
I thought you'd be willing
to help me across the street,
seeing I'm half blind!
Half "deef," too.
I can't hear those
damned automobiles!
Oh, the hell
with you!
I've never, never needed
no one's help and I don't now.
I'll take a good long walk
now I've started.
See all my old friends.
Bejees, they must have
given me up for dead.
But they know it was grief over
Bessie's death that made me...
Well, the sooner
I get started...
You know, Hickey,
that's what gets me.
I can't help thinking
the last time I went out,
was to Bessie's
funeral.
After she'd gone, I didn't
feel life was worth living.
I can't feel it's right for me
to go, even now, Hickey.
It's like I was doing
wrong to her memory.
Now, Governor, you
can't let yourself
get away with
that one any more.
What's that?
I can't hear you.
Bejees, I remember... clear as
day, the last time before she...
(weeping)
It was a fine Sunday morning.
We went out
to church together.
It's a great act,
Governor,
but I know better
and so do you.
You never did
want to go to church
or any place else
with her.
She was always on your neck,
wanting you to have ambition
and go out and do things,
when all you wanted to do
was to get
drunk in peace.
Can't hear a word
you're saying.
He's a God damned
liar, anyway!
Bejees, you son of a bitch!
If there was a mad dog out there
I'd go and shake hands with it
rather than stay here with you!
(whispering to himself)
Jees, he made it!
I'd give you 50 to 1
he'd never...
Oh, he stopped.
I'll bet you he's comin' back.
Of course he's coming back.
By tonight they'll
all be here again,
you dumbbell, that's
the whole point.
No, he ain't neither!
He's gone to the curb.
He's lookin' up and down,
scared stiff of automobiles.
They ain't more
than two an hour
comes down this street,
the old boob!
(door opening)
Bejees, give me
a drink, quick!
Scared me out
of a year's growth!
Bejees, that guy
ought to be pinched!
Bejees, it ain't safe
to walk in the streets!
Give me that bottle.
You seen it, didn't you, Rocky?
Seen what?
That automobile,
you dumb Wop!
Fella driving it must
be drunk or crazy.
He'd run right over me
if I hadn't jumped!
Larry, have
a drink.
Come on, everybody,
have a drink.
Have a cigar, Rocky, I know
you hardly touch it.
This is one time
I do touch it!
And I'm goin'
to get stinko, see?
Well, jees, Harry! I thought
you had some guts!
I was bettin' you'd make it
and show that four-flusher up.
Automobile, hell! Who
do you think you're kiddin'?
There was no automobile!
You just quit cold!
I guess I ought to know!
Bejees, it almost killed me!
Now, now, Governor,
don't be foolish.
You've faced the test
and you've come through,
and you're rid of that
nagging dream stuff now.
You know you can't
believe it any more.
You saw it,
didn't you, Larry?
Have a drink, have another!
Have all you want!
We'll, we'll go, go on a
grand old souse together.
You saw that automobile,
didn't you?
Sure, I saw it, Harry,
you had a narrow escape.
Be God, I thought
you were a goner.
What the hell are you
doing, Larry?
Remember what I told you
about the wrong kind of pity,
now leave him alone!
You'd think I was trying to harm
him, the fool way you act.
Why, there isn't
anything I wouldn't do
for Harry,
and he knows it.
All I wanted was to
fix it so he'd finally be
at peace with himself.
And if you'll just wait until
the final returns are in,
that's exactly what
I've accomplished.
Come on, Governor, what's
the use of being stubborn,
now when it's
over and dead?
Give up that ghost
automobile.
Yeah, what's
the use now?
It's all a lie...
no automobile.
Bejees, something
ran over me.
Must have been
myself, I guess.
I guess
I'll sit down.
Feel all in.
Like a corpse,
bejees.
Hello, Hugo,
coming up for air?
You stay passed out,
that's the right dope.
There ain't any cool
willow trees,
except you grow
your own in a bottle.
(Hugo giggling)
Hello, Harry.
Stupid proletarian
monkey-face!
I will drink champagne
beneath the wi-llow...
But the slaves must
ice it properly!
Goddamned Hickey!
Peddler pimp for
nouveau-riche capitalism!
When I lead the jackass mob
to the sack of Babylon,
I will make them hang
him to the first lamppost!
Good work... I'll help
pull the rope.
Here... have
a drink, Hugo.
Eh, no,
thank you.
I'm too crazy drunk... I hear
myself say crazy things.
Do not listen,
please!
Larry will tell you,
I've never been so crazy drunk.
I must
sleep it off.
What's the matter,
Harry? You look funny.
(exclamatory sighing)
You look dead!
What's happened?
I don't know you!
Listen... I feel
I'm dying, too.
Because I'm
so crazy drunk.
It's very necessary
that I sleep!
I can't sleep
here with you!
You look dead!
Another one who's begun
to enjoy your peace.
Oh, I know
it's rough on him
right now, same
as it is on Harry.
That's just
the first shock.
I promise you they'll
both be all right.
And you believe that?
I see you do,
you mad fool.
Of course
I believe it.
I know from my own
experience.
And now it's my
turn, I suppose?
What is it I'm to do to achieve
this blessed peace of yours?
We've discussed
all of that, Larry.
Just stop lying
to yourself.
You think when I say
I'm finished with life,
and tired of watching the stupid
greed of the human circus,
and I'll welcome closing my
eyes in the long sleep of death,
you think that's
a coward's lie?
Well, what
do you think?
I'm afraid
to live, am I?
And even more
afraid to die!
So I sit here
with my pride drowned
on the bottom of a bottle,
keeping drunk so I won't see
myself shaking in
my britches with fright,
or hear myself whining
and praying:
"Beloved Christ, let me live
a little longer at any price.
"If it's only for a few days
more, or a few hours even,
"have mercy, Almighty God,
and let me still clutch greedily
"to my yellow heart,
this sweet treasure,
"this jewel beyond price,
this dirty, stinking bit
of withered old flesh which
is my beautiful little life!"
You think you'll make me
admit that to myself?
But you just did
admit it, didn't you?
That's the stuff,
Hickey.
Show that
old yellow faker up.
He can't play dead
on me like this.
Yes, you're gonna have
to settle with him, Larry.
I'm leaving you
entirely in his hands.
And he'll do as good a job
as I could at making you
give up the old
grandstand bluff.
Close that big clam
of yours, Hickey.
Bejees, you're
a worse gabber
than that nagging
bitch, Bessie, was.
Jees, did you
hear that?
What's wrong with this booze?
There's no kick in it.
Jees, Larry, Hugo
had it right.
He does look
like he croaked.
Oh, don't be a damned
fool, he's all right.
It's just
the first shock.
You are all right,
aren't you, Harry?
I... I want to
pass out, like Hugo.
It's the peace of death
you've brought him.
That's a lie!
Well, well, you did manage to
get a rise out of me that time,
didn't you? That's just
plain damned foolishness.
Look at me,
I've been through it.
Do I look dead?
Just leave Harry alone
and give him time.
It's just the first shock,
he'll be all right.
He'll be
a new man, like I am.
How's it coming,
Governor?
Beginning to feel
free, aren't you?
Relieved and not
guilty any more?
Hmm, bejees! You must
have been monkeying
with the booze too,
you interfering bastard!
There's no life
in it now.
I wanna get drunk
and pass out.
I'll admit I didn't think
it'd hit him so hard.
He's always been a
happy-go-lucky slob,
like I was.
Well, it hit me hard, too,
but only for a minute.
And then I felt
as if a ton of guilt
had been lifted
off my mind.
I saw what had happened
was the only possible way
for the peace
of all concerned.
What was it happened?
Tell us that.
And don't try
to get out of it,
I want
a straight answer!
I think it's something you
drove someone else to do.
"Someone else?"
What did your wife
die of?
You've kept that
a deep secret.
That's not very
considerate of you, Larry.
But if you insist
on knowing now,
there's no reason
you shouldn't.
It was a bullet through the head
that killed poor Evelyn.
Who, who
the hell cares?
The hell with her and that
nagging old hag, Bessie!
Christ! You had
the right dope, Larry.
You drove your poor wife
to suicide, I knew it.
Be God, I don't blame her!
I'd almost do the same thing
myself to get
rid of you.
It's what you'd like
to drive us all to...
I'm sorry, Hickey,
I'm sorry.
I'm a rotten louse
to throw that in your face.
Oh, that's
all right, Larry.
But don't jump
to conclusions.
I didn't say poor Evelyn
committed suicide.
That's the last thing she'd
have done, while I was
still alive so she could take
care of me and forgive me.
No, if you'd known
her at all,
you'd never have
such a crazy suspicion.
No, I'm sorry to tell you
that my poor wife was killed.
She was murdered?
You're a
liar, Larry!
You must be crazy
to say that to me.
You know damn well
she's still alive.
"Murdered?"
Who done it?
Shut up, you dumb Wop! It's none
of our damned business!
Leave him alone.
Still the old
grandstand bluff?
Or just some more
bum pity?
The police don't know
who killed her yet, Rocky.
But I expect they will
before very long.
How's it coming,
Governor?
Getting over
the first shock?
Beginning to feel
free of guilt
and lying hopes, and at
peace with yourself?
Somebody croaked
your Evelyn, eh?
Bejees, my bets
are on the iceman!
But who
the hell cares?
Let's get drunk
and pass out.
Bejees, what did you do
to the booze, Hickey?
There's no damned
life left in it.
Larry, don't look
like that.
You've got to believe
what I told you!
It had nothing
to do with her!
It was for a few
lousy dollars, honest!
(banging table)
Don't be a fool! Buy me a drink!
But no more wine!
It is not properly iced!
Goddamned stupid
proletarian slaves!
Buy me a drink
or I'll have you shot!
(crying)
Please, for God's sake!
I am not drunk enough!
I cannot sleep!
Life is a crazy
monkey-face.
Always there's blood
beneath the willow trees!
I hate it!
I'm afraid!
Oh, please, please,
please!
I'm too crazy drunk!
I say crazy things!
For God's sake,
do not listen to me!
Do not listen
to me!
(weeping)
I'm afraid!
You're beginning
to worry me, Governor.
Something is holding
you up somewhere,
but I don't see why.
You've faced the truth
about yourself.
You've done what
you had to do
to kill your nagging
pipe dreams.
Oh, I know it
knocks you cold.
But only for a minute.
Then you'll see it was the
only possible way to peace.
And you'll feel happy,
like I did.
That's what worries me
about you, Governor.
It's time you began
to feel happy.
Come on, you
damned nigger!
Beat it in the back room,
it's after hours.
(Joe grumbling)
Oh, the hell with it!
Let the dump get pinched.
I'm through with this
lousy job, anyway.
Been scrappin',
huh?
Started off on your periodical, ain't you?
Yeah, ain't you glad?
That I'm out on my feet
holdin' down your job?
You said if I'd take your day,
you'd relieve me at 6:00.
And here it's
1/2 past 1:00 A.M.!
Well, you're takin'
over now, get me?
No matter how
plastered you are!
Ah, "plastered?"
Hell, I wish I was!
I've lapped up a gallon,
but it don't hit me right.
And the hell with the job!
I'm goin' to tell Harry
I'm quittin'!
Yeah? Well, I'm quittin' too.
I've played sucker for that
crummy blonde long enough,
lettin' her kid me into workin';
from now on I take it easy.
I'm glad you're gettin'
some sense.
Yeah, I hope you're
gettin' some.
By the way, the prize
sap you've been,
tendin' bar when you got two
good hustlers in your stable.
Yeah, but I ain't
no sap now.
I'll loin them, when they
get back from Coney.
Jees, that Cora sure
played you for a dope.
Feedin' you that
marriage-on-a-farm hop!
Yeah, Hickey got it right,
a lousy pipe dream.
It was her pullin' sherry
flips on me woke me up.
All the way
walkin' to the ferry,
every gin mill we come to
she'd drag me in to blow her.
I got thinkin' "Christ,
what won't she want when"
she gets the ring on
her finger and I'm hooked?
So I tells her at the ferry:
"Kiddo, you can go"
"to Jersey or to hell,
but count me out!"
She says it was her
told you to go to hell,
because you start
hittin' the booze.
I got thinkin' too
"Jees, won't I look sweet"
"with a wife that if you put
all the guys she stayed with"
"side by side,
they'd reach to Chicago."
That kind of dame,
you can't trust 'em.
The minute your back
is turned, they're
cheatin' with
the iceman or someone!
Hickey done me a favor,
makin' me wake up!
Only it was fun, kinda,
me and Cora kiddin' ourselves.
Say, where is that
son of a bitch Hickey?
I want one good sock
at day guy, just one!
And the next buttin' in he'll
do will be in the morgue!
I'll take a chance on goin'
to the chair! Piano!
Keep away from
him, Chuck.
He ain't here now, anyway;
he went out to phone, he said.
I got a hunch he beat it,
but if he does come back,
you don't know him if anyone
asks you, get me?
The chair, maybe that's
where he's goin'.
I don't know nuttin',
see? But it looks
like he
croaked his wife.
You mean she really
was cheatin' on him?
Then I don't blame the guy!
And who's blamin' him?
Is any of the gang wise?
Larry is.
And the boss
ought to be.
I tried to wise the rest
of them up to stay clear of him,
but they're all so licked,
I don't know if they got it.
Oh, I don't give a damn
what he done to his wife.
But if he gets the hot seat
I won't go into no mournin'.
Me, neither. Not after his
throwin' it in my face I'm a pimp.
What if I am? And what's
he done to Harry?
Jees, the poor
old slob is so licked
he can't even get drunk!
And all the gang.
I couldn't help feelin'
sorry for the poor bums
when they showed up
tonight, one by one,
lookin' like pooches with
their tails between their legs
that everyone'd been
kickin' 'till they
was too punch-drunk
to feel it no more.
Jimmy Tomorrow
was the last.
Schwartz, the copper,
brung him in.
Seen him sittin' on the
dock on West Street,
lookin' at the water
and cryin'.
Schwartz thought he was drunk,
and I let him think it.
But he was cold sober;
he was tryin' to jump in
and didn't have
the nerve, I figured it.
Jees, there ain't
enough guts left
in the whole gang
to battle a mosquito.
Oh, to hell with 'em!
Who cares? Gimme a drink.
I see you been hittin'
the redeye too.
Yeah, but it don't do no good,
I can't get drunk right.
This dirty "dinge" was able to
get his "snootful" and pass out.
Jees, even Hickey
can't faze a nigger.
You'd think he was fazed
if you'd seen him come in.
Stinko, and he pulled
a gun and said
he'd plug Hickey
for insultin' him.
Then he dropped it
and began to cry,
and said he wasn't a gamblin'
man or a tough guy no more.
He got drunk panhandlin' drinks
in nigger joints, I suppose.
I guess they felt
sorry for him.
He ain't got no business
in the bar after hours.
Why don't you
chuck him out?
Oh, to hell with it! Who cares?
Yeah, I don't.
Excuse me,
white boy.
I don't want to be
where I'm not wanted.
(Chuck)
My pig's in the back room, ain't she?
I wanna collect the dough
I wouldn't take this mornin',
like a sucker,
before she blows it.
(Rocky)
I'm comin', too, I'm through workin'.
I ain't no
lousy bartender.
I'm waitin', baby, dig!
Yeah.
I been expectin' you,
I got it all ready here.
Jees, imagine me
kiddin' myself
I wanted to marry a drunken pimp.
That's nothin', baby.
Imagine what a sap
I'd have been when I
can get your dough
just as easy without it.
Hello,
Old Cemetery.
Hello, Tightwad,
you still around?
Ask Larry.
He knows I'm here, all right,
although he's pretending not to.
He'd like to forget
I'm alive!
He's trying
to kid himself
with that grandstand
philosopher stuff.
But he knows he can't
get away with that now!
He kept himself
locked up in his room
until a while ago, alone
with a bottle of booze.
He couldn't
make it work, though,
he couldn't even get drunk!
So he had to come out.
There must have been
something up there
he's even more scared
to face than me and Hickey.
I guess he got looking
at the fire escape.
Thinking how handy it was,
if he was really sick of life
and only had
the nerve to die!
And he's been thinking
about me too, Rocky.
He's trying to figure a way
to get out of helping me.
He loved her too,
so he thinks I ought
to take a hop off
the fire escape.
For God's sake!
Can't you say something?!
Larry!
Larry... I think what
Hickey must have done
has got me so I don't know
any more what I did or why.
(crying)
I can't go on like this!
I've got to do
what I got to do!
God damn you! Are you trying
to make me your executioner?
Execution?
Then you, you
think I...
I don't think anything.
I... I suppose you think
I ought to die, uh?
Because I sold out
a lot of loudmouth fakers?
Ha!
Don't make me laugh!
I ought to get a medal!
Oh, you little sap!
You must still
believe in the Movement.
Hickey's right about
him, isn't he, Rocky?
An old no-good drunken
tramp, as dumb as he is,
ought to take a hop
off the fire escape.
Sure, why don't he?
Or you, or me?
Oh, what the hell's
the difference? Who cares?
What am I doin' here
with "youse" two?
I remember I had somethin'
on my mind to tell you, what?
Oh, I got it now.
I was thinkin' how you
was both regular guys.
I thinks "Ain't two guys
like them saps to be hangin'"
"around like a couple of stew
bums and wastin' themselves?"
What do you think, Parritt?
You ain't a bad-lookin' guy.
You could easy
make some gal
who's a good hustler,
and start a stable.
And I'll help you
and wise you up
to the inside dope
on the game.
Well,
what about it?
What if they do
call you a pimp?
I don't want anything
to do with whores!
I wish they were all
in jail or dead!
All right,
stay a bum!
Well, how about you,
Larry? You ain't dumb.
Sure, you're old,
but that don't matter.
All the girls think
you're aces.
They fall for you
like you were their uncle
or old man,
or somethin'.
They like takin'
care of you.
And the cops around here,
they like you too.
You wouldn't have to worry
where the next drink's
comin' from, or wear
dirty clothes.
Well... don't it
look good to you?
No, it doesn't
look good, Rocky.
I mean, the peace
Hickey's brought you.
It isn't contented
enough, if you have to
make a pimp
of everyone else.
I'm a sap to waste
my time on you.
A stew bum
is a stew bum.
Like I was sayin' to Chuck,
if anyone asks you,
you don't know nothin'
about Hickey, get me?
You never even heard
he had a wife.
Jees, we all ought to get drunk
and stage a celebration
when that bastard
goes to the chair.
Be God, I'll
celebrate with you.
Drink to his long,
long life in hell.
The poor devil!
No, that's pity,
the wrong kind.
He'll welcome
the chair.
Yes, what are you so damned
scared about death for?
I don't want
your lousy pity.
(Rocky)
I hope he don't come back, Larry.
We don't know
nothin' now.
We're only
guessin', see?
But if that bastard
keeps on talkin'...
He'll come back and
he'll keep on talking.
He's lost his confidence
that the peace he's sold us
is the real McCoy, and it's
made him uneasy about his own.
He'll have to prove to us...
That's a damned lie, Larry.
I haven't lost
confidence.
By God, when I made up my mind
to sell someone something
I thought they ought
to want, I've sold 'em.
I mean, I don't think is very
kind of you to make that kind
of a crack when I've been
doing my best to help.
Keep away from me,
will you?
I don't know nothin'
about you, see?
Well, how is it
coming, everybody?
I'm sorry I had to leave you
for a little while,
but there was something
I had to get finally settled.
It's all fixed now.
When are you going
to do somethin'
about this booze, Hickey?
We can't pass out,
and you
promised us peace!
Yes, yes!
I wonder why that is.
For God's sake,
Harry! You're still
harping on that
same damn nonsense?
You've kept it up
all afternoon and night,
and you got everybody else
singing the same crazy tune!
I've had about all I can
stand, that's why I phoned.
Excuse me, boys and girls,
I-I don't mean that.
It's just that I
worry about you
when you play dead
on me like this.
I was hoping by
the time I got back
you'd be like
you ought to be.
I thought you were deliberately
holding back on me before
when I was here, because
you didn't want to give me
the satisfaction of showing me
that I had the right dope!
And I did have, I know
from my own experience.
But I've explained that
a million times.
Now you've all done
what you needed to do.
By rights you should be
contented with yourself, and
free from the lying hopes and
nagging dreams that torment you.
But here you are,
sitting around like
a lot of stiffs
cheating the undertaker!
I can't figure it...
unless it's just your damned
stubborn pigheadedness.
Oh, hell... don't act
like this with me, gang!
You're my old pals,
the only friends I've got!
You know, the one
thing that I want
is to see you
happy before I go.
And there's damned
little time left now.
I've made a date
for 2:00 o'clock.
So, we've got to get busy right
away and find out what's wrong!
Can't you appreciate what
you've got, for God's sake?
Don't you see you're free
to be yourselves now,
without feeling
remorse or guilt,
or having to lie to yourselves
about reforming tomorrow?
Don't you see?
There is no tomorrow now!
You're rid of it forever,
you've killed it!
You don't have to care
a damn about anything any more!
You've finally got the game of
life licked, don't you see that?
Then why the hell don't you get
drunk and sing "Sweet Adeline"?
Why don't you laugh and
celebrate, and get pie-eyed?
The only reason I can think
of is you're putting on
this rotten half-dead act
just to get back at me,
because you
hate my guts.
God, don't do
that, gang!
It makes me feel like hell
to think that you hate me.
Makes me feel that you
suspected that I hated you.
But that is a lie!
Oh, I know I used to hate
everybody in the world
that wasn't as rotten
a bastard as I was,
but that's when I
was still living in hell!
Before I faced
the truth.
And saw the one possible way
to free poor Evelyn,
and give her the peace that
she'd always dreamed about.
Oh, put a bag over it!
To hell with Evelyn.
What if she
was cheatin'?
And who cares what you did
to her? That's your funeral.
We don't give
a damn, see?
All we want
outta you is keep
the hell away from us
and give us a rest!
The one possible way
to make up to her
for all that I
made her go through,
and get her rid
of me so that I
couldn't make her
suffer any more,
and she wouldn't have
to forgive me again.
I saw I couldn't do it
by killing myself,
like I wanted to
for a long time.
That would have been
the last straw for her.
She'd have died
of a broken heart
to think that I
could do that to her.
She'd have blamed
herself, too.
Or I just couldn't
run away from her.
She'd have died
of grief and humiliation
if I'd done
that to her.
She'd have thought
I stopped loving her.
You see... Evelyn
loved me, and I loved her.
That was the trouble.
Oh, it would have been easy
to find a way out
if she hadn't
loved me so much.
Or if I hadn't
loved her.
But as it was, there was
only one possible way.
I had to kill her.
Mad fool! Can't you
keep your mouth shut?
We may hate you for what
you've done this time,
but we remember the old times,
when you brought laughter
and kindness here
instead of death!
We don't want
to know things
that will make us help
send you to the chair!
Oh, shut up!
You yellow faker! Can't
you face anything?
Wouldn't I deserve
the chair too if I...
It's, it's worse
if you kill someone
and they have
to go on living.
I'd be glad
of the chair.
It'd wipe it out and
square me with myself.
I wish you'd get rid
of that bastard, Larry.
I can't have him
pretending there's something
in common between
him and me.
It's what's in your
heart that counts.
And there was love
in my heart, not hate.
You're a liar!
I don't hate her!
I couldn't!
And anyway, it had
nothing to do with her!
You ask Larry!
God damn you, stop shoving
your rotten soul in my lap!
Don't worry about
the chair, Larry.
I know you're still
terrified by death.
But when you've made peace
with yourself, like I have,
you won't give
a damn.
Listen, everybody.
I've made up my mind, the only
way I can clear this up for you,
so you'll realize how contented
and carefree you ought to feel,
now that I've made you
get rid of your pipe dreams,
is to show you what a pipe dream
did to me and Evelyn.
And I'm certain, if I tell you
about it from the beginning,
you'll appreciate what I've
done for you and why I did it.
And how damned grateful
you ought to be,
instead of hating me.
You see, even as
kids, Evelyn and me...
(banging glass on table)
All we want is to pass out and get drunk,
and a little peace!
(approving whispering
and glasses banging tables)
All right, if that's
the way you feel!
I don't want to cram
it down your throats!
I don't need to tell anyone,
I don't feel guilty.
I'm only worried
about you.
What did you do
to this booze?
That's what
we'd like to hear.
Ain't that right,
Jimmy?
Yes,
quite right.
It was all a stupid lie,
my nonsense about tomorrow.
Naturally they would never
give me my position back,
that I would never
dream of asking them.
I didn't resign, I was
fired for drunkenness.
And it was absurd of me
to excuse my drunkenness
by pretending it was my wife's
adultery that ruined my life.
As Hickey guessed, I was
a drunkard before that.
I discovered early
in life that living
frightened me
when I was sober.
I've even forgotten
why I married Marjorie.
I had some idea of
wanting a home, perhaps.
But, of course, I, I much
preferred the nearest pub.
Why Marjorie married me,
God knows.
She soon found that I much
preferred drinking all night
with my pals to being
at home in bed with her.
So naturally...
she was unfaithful.
And I was glad
to be free.
Even... grateful
to her, I think,
for giving me such a...
a good tragic excuse.
In the back room
if you wanna drink.
A guy named Hickman
in the back room?
Think I know the names...
Listen, you! This is murder.
It was Hickman himself
who phoned in and said
we'd find him here
around 2:00.
So that's who
he phoned to.
Yeah, he's in there,
and if you want
a confession all you
got to do is listen.
You can't stop
the bastard talkin'.
I've got to tell you,
your being this way
now gets my goat,
and it's all wrong!
It puts things
in my mind.
It makes me think that if I
got balled up about you,
then how do I know I wasn't
balled up about myself?
And that is just plain
damned foolishness.
But when you know the story
of me and Evelyn, you'll see
it was the only possible
way out, for her sake.
Only I've got to start
way back at the beginning,
otherwise
you won't understand.
You see, even as a kid
I was always restless.
I had to keep
on the go.
You've heard the old saying
that "Ministers' sons"
"are sons of guns?" Well,
that was me and then some.
Home was like a jail.
Listening to my old man whooping
up hell fire and scaring
those Hoosier suckers into
shelling out their dough
only handed me a laugh! Although
I gotta to hand it to him,
the way he sold them
nothing for something.
I guess I take after him,
and that's what made me
a good salesman;
well, like I said,
home was like jail,
and so was school,
and so was that damned
hick town.
The only places I liked
were the pool halls,
where I could smoke
Sweet Caporals
and mop up
a couple of beers, eh?
Thinking I was a
hell-on-wheels sport.
We had one hooker
shop in town.
Of course I
liked that, too.
Not that I hardly ever
had the entrance money.
My old man was
a tight old bastard.
But I liked to sit around in the
parlor and joke with the girls.
And they liked me too,
because I kid 'em along
and make 'em laugh.
And you know how
a small town is.
Everybody
got wise to me.
They said I was
a no-good tramp,
but I didn't give
a damn what they said.
I hated everybody
in the place.
That is,
except Evelyn.
And I loved Evelyn,
even as a kid.
And Evelyn loved me.
Larry, I loved mother!
No matter what she did!
I still do!
Yes, sir, as far back as I can remember,
Evelyn and I
loved each other.
She always
stood out for me.
She wouldn't believe the gossip,
or she pretended she wouldn't.
No one could convince her
that I was no good.
Evelyn was stubborn as hell
once she made up her mind.
You know, even when I'd admit
things and ask her forgiveness,
she'd make excuses for me
and defend me against myself.
And she'd kiss me,
she'd say that she knew
that I wouldn't do it again
and I said that I wouldn't.
And I'd promise,
I'd have to promise.
She was so damn
sweet and good.
Yet I knew
darned well...
No, sir, you couldn't
stop Evelyn!
Nothing on Earth could
shake her faith in me!
Even I couldn't!
She was a sucker
for a pipe dream.
Well, naturally, her family
forbid her seeing me.
(laughing)
They were one of the town's
best, rich for that hick burg.
They owned the trolley line
and the lumber company.
Strict Methodists, too;
oh, did they hate my guts!
Even they couldn't
stop Evelyn.
And she'd sneak notes to me
and we'd meet me on the side.
But I was getting
more restless.
The town was getting
more like a jail.
I made up my mind
to beat it.
I knew exactly what I wanted
to be by that time.
I met a lot of drummers around
the hotel, and I liked 'em.
They were always
telling jokes, eh?
They were sports, always on
the move, I liked their life.
And I knew I could kid people
and sell things.
The hitch was, how to get the
railroad fare to the Big Town?
Hell, I... I told
Mollie Arlington my trouble.
She was the Madame
of the cathouse.
She liked me.
She laughed and she said:
"Hell, I'll stake you, kid.
"I'll bet on you, with that grin
of yours and that line of bull
you ought to be able to sell
skunks for good ratters."
Yeah, Mollie
was all right.
She made me feel
confident in myself.
Well, I paid her back too,
first money I earned.
I remember sending her
a kidding letter saying
that I was peddling
baby carriages, and she
and the girls had better
get in on our bargain offer!
Ho, ho, ho, ho!
That's getting
ahead of my story.
That last night
before I left town...
I had a date
with Evelyn.
I got all worked up.
She was so pretty
and sweet and good.
I told her straight.
I said: "You better forget me,
Evelyn, for your own sake."
"I'm no good
and I never will be."
And I broke down
and cried.
And she just said,
looking white and scared:
"Why, Teddy, don't you
still love me?"
And I said:
"Love you?
"God, Evelyn, I love you more
than anything in the world.
And I always will."
And she said: "Nothing
matters, Teddy."
"Because nothing but death
could stop my loving you.
"So when you're ready you send
for me, and we'll be married.
"And I know I can
make you happy, Teddy.
"And when you're happy,
you won't want to do
any of those bad things
you've done any more."
And I said: "Of course
I won't, Evelyn."
And I meant it,
I believed it.
I loved her so much she could
make me believe anything.
(Harry) You married her, you caught
her cheating with the iceman,
and you croaked her,
and all we want
is to pass out
in peace, bejees!
(everyone whispering)
So I beat it to the Big Town!
I got a job easy,
it was a cinch for me
to make good,
I had the knack.
It was like a game,
sizing people up quick,
spotting what their pet
pipe dreams were,
and then kidding 'em
along that line.
Pretending you believed
what they wanted
to believe
about themselves.
Then they liked you,
they trusted you.
They want to buy something
to show their gratitude.
It was fun!
But still, all the while
I felt guilty, as though
I shouldn't be having such
a good time away from Evelyn.
In each of my letters I'd
tell her how I missed her,
but I'd warn her, too;
I'd tell her about my faults.
How I liked my booze every now
and then, and so on.
But you couldn't shake
Evelyn's belief in me,
or her dreams
about the future.
And then after each one
of her letters,
I'd be as full of
faith as she was.
So when I got enough saved
to start us off,
I sent for her
and we got married.
Christ, wasn't I
happy for a while!
And wasn't she happy.
I don't care what anybody says,
I'll bet there were never
two people who loved each
other more than me and Evelyn.
Not only then,
but ever afterwards.
In spite of everything I did.
Well, it's all
there at the start,
everything that happened
afterwards.
Though I never could
learn to handle temptation.
I'd want to reform
and mean it.
Then I'd promise her,
and I'd promise myself,
and I'd believe it.
I'd even tell her:
"It's the last time, Evelyn."
And she'd say: "I know it's
the last time, Teddy."
"You'll never
do it again."
And that's what
made it so hard!
That's what made me
feel such a rotten skunk!
Her always
forgiving me.
My playing around
with women, for instance.
It was just a harmless
good time to me.
It didn't
mean anything,
but I'd know what it
meant to her!
So I'd swear
to myself "Never again."
But you know how it is,
traveling around,
those damned
hotel rooms.
You get to seeing things
in the wall paper.
I'd get so damn bored,
so lonely and homesick.
But at the same time,
sick of home.
I'd feel free, I'd want
to celebrate a little.
Well, I never drank on the job
so it had to be dames, any tart.
What I'd want
was some tramp that I
could be myself with,
without being ashamed.
Someone I could tell a
dirty joke to and she'd laugh!
(girly giggling)
Jees... all
the lousy jokes
I've had to listen to
and pretend was funny.
Sometimes I'd try
a joke that I thought
was a real corker
on Evelyn!
And she'd always
make herself laugh.
But I could tell she thought
it was dirty and not funny.
And she always knew about
the tarts that I'd been with
when I came home
from a trip.
She'd kiss me and look
in my eyes, and she'd know.
And I could see in her eyes
her not wanting to know.
And telling herself: "Even if
it is true, he can't help it."
"They tempt him, he's
lonely, he hasn't got me.
"It's only his body,
he doesn't love them.
"I'm the only one he loves,"
and she was right, too!
I never loved anyone else!
Couldn't if I wanted to.
She forgave me even when it all
had to come out in the open.
You know how it is when you
keep taking chances.
You may be lucky
for a long time,
but you'll get nicked
in the end.
I picked up a nail
from some tart in Altoona.
Yeah, and she picked it up
from some guy.
It's all in the game.
I had to do a lot of lying
and stalling when I got home,
but it didn't do
any good.
The quack I went to
got all my dough,
and he told me I was cured,
and I believed him.
But I wasn't...
and poor Evelyn.
But she did her best to make me
believe that she fell for my lie
about how... traveling men
get things from drinking cups
on...
on trains.
Anyway, she
forgave me.
The same way she forgave me
every time I'd show up
after a periodical
drunk!
And you all knew
what I'd look like
after one of those,
you saw me!
Like something lying
in the gutter
that no alley cat would
lower himself to drag in!
Something they threw out of
the D.T. ward at Bellevue!
Along with the garbage,
something that should be dead!
But isn't.
Evelyn wouldn't have heard
from me in a month or more.
She'd been waiting
there alone.
The neighbors feeling
sorry for her out loud
and shaking
their heads.
That was until she got me
to move to the outskirts,
where there weren't
any next-door neighbors.
Then the door would open...
and I'd stumble...
looking like
what I've just said.
Into her home, that she always
kept so... spotless and clean.
And I'd sworn it would
never happen again!
And now I'd have
to start swearing again
that this was
the last time!
I could see disgust
having a battle in her eyes
with love,
but love always won!
She'd make her-self...
kiss me!
As though nothing
had happened.
As though I'd just come home
from a business trip.
She'd never complain
or bawl me out.
Christ, can you imagine what a
guilty skunk she made me feel!
If only once she admitted that
her pipe dream about tomorrow,
and my behaving myself
would never be any good!
But she wouldn't!
She was stubborn
as hell!
Once she'd set her mind on
anything, you couldn't shake
her faith that it had
to come true tomorrow!
It was the same old story, over
and over, for years and years.
And it kept piling up,
inside her and inside me.
God, can you picture
what I made her suffer?
And all the guilt that
she made me feel?
And how I
hated myself?
If she only hadn't been
so damned good!
If she'd been the same kind
of wife that I was a husband.
God, sometimes I used
to pray that she'd...
I'd even say to her:
"Go on, why don't you, Evelyn?"
"Serve me right, I wouldn't
mind, I'd forgive you."
Of course I'd pretend
I was kidding.
The same way
I used to joke here
about her being in the hay
with the iceman.
She'd have felt so hurt
if I'd said it seriously.
She'd have thought
I'd stopped loving her.
I suppose you think I'm a liar,
that no woman could have stood
all she stood
and still loved me so much.
That it isn't human for a woman
to be so pitying and forgiving!
Well, I am not lying!
And if you'd ever seen her,
you'd realize that I wasn't.
It was written
all over her face:
Sweetness, love,
pity, forgiveness.
Although, wait,
I'll... show you.
I always carry
her picture.
No, I'm forgetting...
I tore it up afterwards.
I didn't need it
any more.
Jees, Hickey!
Jees!
I burnt up mother's
picture, Larry.
Her eyes kept following
me around all the time.
They seemed to
be wishing I was dead!
It kept piling up,
like I've said.
I got so I thought
about it all the time.
And I hated myself
more and more,
thinking of all the wrong
I'd done to the sweetest woman
in the world
that loved me so much!
It even got so I'd curse
myself for a lousy bastard
every time I saw
myself in the mirror!
I felt such pity for her
it drove me crazy!
You'd never believe
it, would you, Larry?
A guy like me that's
knocked around so much
could feel such pity!
It got so
every night I'd...
wind up hiding
my face in her lap,
bawling and begging
for forgiveness.
Of course she'd always
comfort me and say:
"Never mind, Teddy,
I know you won't ever again."
Christ,
I loved her so.
But I began to hate
that pipe dream!
I began to think
I was going bughouse!
Because sometimes I couldn't
forgive her for forgiving me!
I even caught myself
hating her
for making me
hate myself so much!
You know, there's a limit
to the guilt you can feel
and the forgiveness
and pity you can take!
You have to begin blaming
somebody else, too!
It got so...
sometimes,
when she'd kiss me,
it was like she was
doing it on purpose...
to humiliate me...
as if she'd spit
in my face!
But I saw how crazy
and rotten that was of me!
And I just hated
myself more and more!
You'd never believe that I could
hate so much!
Ah, Larry? A good-natured,
happy-go-lucky... slob like me.
As the time got nearer to
when I was due to come here
for my drunk around Harry's
birthday, I got nearly crazy.
I kept swearing to her
every night that this time
I really wouldn't,
until I'd made it
a real final test
to myself and to her!
And she kept encouraging
me and saying:
"I can see you really
mean it now, Teddy."
"I know you'll conquer it this
time, and we'll be so happy."
And when she'd say
that, and kiss me...
I'd believe
it, too.
Then she'd go to bed,
and I'd stay up because
I couldn't sleep.
And I didn't want
to disturb her,
rolling and twisting around;
I'd get so damned lonely!
I'd get to thinking
how peaceful it was here.
Sitting around with
the old gang, getting drunk
and forgetting about love;
laughing and singing
and joking,
and swapping lies.
And finally I knew
I had to come.
And I knew if I came this time,
it would be the finish!
Because I'd never have
the guts to go back
and be forgiven again! And that
would break Evelyn's heart.
Because to her
that would mean...
I didn't love
her any more.
That last night
I'd driven myself crazy
trying to figure
a way out for her.
I went into
the bedroom.
I was going to tell her
it was the end.
But I couldn't
do that to her.
She was sound asleep.
And I thought
"God, if only she'd"
"never wake up,
she'd never know."
And then it came to me.
The one possible way out,
for her sake.
I remembered I'd given
her a gun for protection
while I was away...
it was in the bureau drawer.
She'd never feel any pain, she'd
never wake up from her dream.
So I...
so I killed her.
I may as well
confess, Larry.
There's no use lying any more;
you know, anyway.
I didn't give
a damn about the money,
it was because I
hated her.
And then I saw that
I'd always known
that was
the only possible way
to give her peace,
and free her
from the misery
of loving me.
And I saw it meant peace for me,
too, knowing she was at peace.
I felt as though a ton of guilt
was lifted off my mind.
I remember I stood by the bed
and suddenly I had to laugh.
I couldn't help it, and I knew
Evelyn would forgive me!
I remember I heard
myself speaking to her,
as though it was something that
I'd always wanted to say:
"Well, you know what you can do
with your pipe dream now,"
"you damned bitch!"
No! I never...
Yes, yes, that's it!
Her and that damned Movement
pipe dream! Eh, Larry? No, that's a lie!
Good God, I could
have never said that!
If I had, I'd have
gone insane!
Why, I loved Evelyn better
than anything in life!
Boys, you're
all my old pals!
You've known old
Hickey for years!
You know that
I could never...
Harry! Harry, you've known me
longer than anybody else!
You know that I must have been
insane! Don't you, Governor?
Who the hell cares?
(excited tone)
"Insane?"
You mean you went really insane?
Yes!
Or I couldn't have laughed! I
couldn't have said that to her!
That's enough,
Hickman!
You know who we are,
you're under arrest.
Come along and spill your guts where...
Don't touch me!
You owe me a break!
I phoned and made it
easy for you, didn't I?
Just a few minutes!
Harry, you know I couldn't say
that to Evelyn, don't you?
Unless...
And you've been crazy ever since?
Everything you've said and done here...
Now, Governor!
Up to your
old tricks, eh?
I see what you're
driving at, but I ca...
Yes, of course,
Harry!
Ahh!
I've been out of my mind ever since,
ever since
I've been here!
You saw I was insane,
didn't you?
(Moran)
Can it! I've had enough of your act.
Save it for the jury.
Now listen, you guys,
don't fall for his lies.
He's starting to get foxy now
and thinks he'll plead insanity.
But he can't
get away with that.
Bejees, you dumb dick!
You've got a crust trying
to tell us about Hickey.
We've known him for years,
and every one of us noticed
he was nutty the minute
he showed up here.
If you'd seen the damned-fool
things he made us do!
We only did
them because we...
because we, we hoped
he'd come out of it,
if we kidded him
along and humored him.
Ain't that right,
fellas?
That's right!
A fine bunch of rats!
Covering up for a dirty,
cold-blooded murderer!
Is that so?
Bejees, you know
the old story.
When Saint Patrick drove
the snakes out of Ireland,
they swam to New York
and joined the police force!
Ha, ha!
(snickering laughter)
You stand up for your
rights, bejees, Hickey.
I've still got friends
at the Hall.
I'll have this guy
back in uniform
pounding a beat,
where the only graft
he'll get will be stealing
tin cans from the goats.
(everybody laughing)
Listen, you cockeyed old bum!
For a plugged nickel I'd...
Come on, you.
Oh, I want to go, officer.
I can hardly
wait now.
I should have phoned you from
the house right afterwards.
It was a waste
of time coming here!
I've got to explain to Evelyn,
but I know she's forgiven me.
She knows
I was insane.
You've got me
all wrong, officer.
I want to go to
the chair.
Crap!
God, you're
a dumb dick!
Do you suppose I
give a damn about life now?
Why, you bone head.
I haven't got a single damned
lying hope or pipe dream left.
Don't worry, Hickey! They
can't give you the chair!
We'll testify you was crazy!
Won't we, fellas?
Yeah, sure.
Sure!
You'll be
all right, Hickey.
He's gone... poor
crazy son of a bitch.
Bejees, I need
a drink.
Maybe it'll have the
old kick now he's gone.
Yeah, boss, maybe
we can get drunk now.
May the chair bring him
peace at last,
the poor
tortured bastard!
Yes, but he isn't the only one
who needs peace, Larry.
I can't feel
sorry for him.
He's lucky.
He's through now,
it's all decided for him.
I wish it was
decided for me.
I've never been any good
at deciding things.
Even about selling out,
it was that tart that
the detective agency got after
me that put it in my mind.
You remember
what Mother's like, Larry.
She always decided
what I must do.
She made all
the decisions for me.
She doesn't like anyone
but herself to be free.
I suppose you think
I ought to make
those dicks take me
away with Hickey.
How could I
prove it, Larry?
They'd think I was nutty
'cause she's still alive!
You're the only one who can
understand how guilty I am.
Because you know her, you know
what I've done to her.
You're the only one
who can understand
that I'm much
guiltier than he is.
That what I did
is a much worse than murder
because she is dead,
and yet she has to live!
For a little while... but she
can't live long in jail.
She loves her
freedom too much.
I can't kid myself
like Hickey...
that
she's at peace.
As long as she lives,
she'll never be able
to forget what I've done
to her, not even in her sleep.
She'll never have
a second's peace.
Jesus, Larry,
say something!
I'm not bluffing either
that I was crazy...
afterwards when I
laughed and thought to myself.
"You know what you can do with
your freedom pipe dream now,
"don't you, you damned old bitch."
Go!
Get the hell out
of life, God damn you!
Before I choke it
out of you!
Go up... go up!
(sighing)
Thanks, Larry!
I can see now
that's the only
possible way I can ever
get free from her.
I guess I've
known that all my life.
(laughing nervously)
Oh!
It ought to give mother
a little comfort, too.
She'll finally be able
to play the incorruptible.
Mother of the Revolution, whose
only child is a proletariat.
She'll be able to say:
"Justice is done!
"So may all traitors die!"
She'll be able to say...
"I'm glad
he's dead!"
"Long live
the Revolution!"
You know her, Larry,
she's always a ham!
Go, for the love of Christ!
You mad tortured bastard,
for your own sake!
Thanks, Larry,
that's kind.
I knew you were the only one who
could understand my side of it.
(giggling)
Hello, little Don,
little monkey-face!
Don't be a fool,
buy me a drink.
Sure I will,
Hugo.
Tomorrow, beneath
the willow trees.
Stupid fool! Hickey make
you crazy, too.
I'm glad, Larry, they take that
crazy Hickey away to asylum.
He makes me
have bad dreams.
He makes me tell
lies about myself.
He makes me want to spit
on all I've ever dreamed.
Yes, I'm glad they
take him to asylum!
(sighing)
I don't feel
I'm dying now.
He was selling death to me,
that crazy salesman.
I think I have a
drink now, Larry.
Bejees, fellas, I'm feeling
the old kick or I'm a liar!
It's putting life
back in me.
It was Hickey that
kept it from...
Bejees, I know that sounds
crazy but he was crazy,
and he got all of us
as bughouse as he was.
It's dangerous, too.
Look at me, pretend
to start for a walk
just to keep
him quiet.
I knew damned well it wasn't
the right day for it.
The sun was broiling
and the streets full
of automobiles.
Why, I could feel
myself getting sunstroke.
An automobile damn
near ran over me.
Didn't it, Rocky?
He was watchin',
ask Rocky, didn't it?
The automobile, boss?
Sure, I seen it,
just missed you!
I thought you
was a goner!
On the word of an
honest bartender!
You're a bartender,
all right.
And no one
can say different.
But bejees, don't, don't
pull that honest junk.
You and Chuck ought to have
cards in the Burglars' Union!
(everybody laughing)
Bejees, it's good to hear
someone laugh again.
All the time that bastar...
Eh... poor old Hickey was here,
I didn't have
the heart...
Bejees, I'm getting drunk
and glad of it!
Come on, fellas,
it's on the house!
(man giggling)
Ah... that poor
old Hickey.
We mustn't hold him responsible
for anything he's done.
We'll remember him the way
we've always known him before:
The kindest, biggest-hearted guy
that ever wore shoe leather. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, the best.
Fine chap, fine chap!
Good luck to him
in Matteawan!
Come on, bottoms up!
Christ!
Why don't he?
"Why don't he"
what?
Ah, don't be a fool,
Hickey's gone!
He was crazy!
Here, have a drink.
What's the matter
with you, Larry?
You look funny.
What do you listen for
out in backyard?
Well, I thank God now
that me and Chuck did
all we could to humor
the poor nut.
Imagine us goin' off like we
really meant to get married,
when we ain't even
picked out the farm yet!
(men giggling)
(laughing) Sure thing, baby!
We kidded him we was serious.
I may as well say,
though, I detected
his condition almost at once!
Yeah.
All that talk of his
about tomorrow, for example.
He had the fixed idea
of the insane!
It only makes them
worse to cross them!
Same with me, Jimmy, only I
spent the day at the park.
I wasn't such a
damned fool as to...
(laughing)
Pic-picture my predicament
if I had gone to the consulate.
The pal of mine there is
a bit of a humorous blighter.
He'd have gotten me a job
out of pure spite.
So I strolled about, and finally
came to roost in the park.
And lo and behold,
who should be on
the neighboring bench
but my battlefield companion,
the Boer that walks
like a man!
(cheers and someone clapping)
Who, if the British Government
had taken my advice,
would have been removed from
his fetid corral on the "veldt"
straight to the baboon's cage
in the London Zoo!
And little children would
now be asking their nurses:
"Tell me, nana,
is that the Boer General?"
"The one with
the blue behind?"
(uproarious laughing)
No offense meant,
Piet, old chap.
No offense taken,
you... damned Limey!
(glasses clinking)
(laughing)
About the job, I felt
the same as you, Cecil.
(Wetjoen spits
and laughing continues)
What's the matter,
Larry?
You look scared!
What you listen for
out there?
No, sir.
I wasn't fool enough
to get in no crap game,
not while
Hickey's around.
The crazy people
put a jinx on you!
It was of no good trying
to explain to a crazy guy,
but it ain't
the right time!
Hey! You know how
getting reinstated is.
Bejees,
I'm cockeyed!
Bejees, you're
all cockeyed!
And bejees, we're
all all right!
Let's have another.
What's the matter,
Larry?
Why you keep
eyes shut?
Huff!
You look dead!
What you listen for
in backyard?
You crazy fool!
You give me bad dreams, too!
Hello there,
Hugo!
(rattling and laughing)
Welcome
to the party!
Yes, bejees, Hugo!
Sit down, have a drink!
Have ten
drinks, bejees!
(uncontrollable giggling)
Hello, little Harry!
Hello, nice funny
little monkey faces!
Goddamned stupid
bourgeois!
(loud cheering)
Soon comes
the Day of Judgment!
(laughing and cheering)
Give me
ten drinks, Harry.
Don't be a fool!
Gangway for two
good whores!
(everybody cheers)
Yeah! And we want
a drink, quick!
Yeah, yeah! Shake the lead
outta your pants, pimp!
A little service, eh?
Well, look who's here!
Hello there,
sweethearts.
Jees, I was beginnin' to
worry about you, honest!
Yeah? What kind
of gag is this?
Come on and join
the party, you broads!
Bejees, I'm glad
to see you!
Hey, what? Come on!
What's come off here?
Where's that
louse, Hickey?
(laughing)
Oh, the cops got him.
He's gone crazy
and croaked his wife.
Oh, Jees!
So forget about
that whore stuff.
I'll knock the block off
if anyone calls you whores.
You're tarts, and what
the hell of it?
You're as good
as anyone.
Eeeh!
So forget it, see?
That's our little bartender!
Ain't he, Pearl?
Yeah, and a cute
little Ginny at that!
And is he stinko!
Stinko is right, but he ain't
got nothin' on us!
Jees, Rocky, did we have
a big time at Coney!
Bejees, sit down,
you dumb whores!
Welcome home,
have a drink.
Have ten drinks,
bejees!
Bejees, this
is all right!
We'll make this my birthday
party, and forget the other.
But who's missing?
Where's the Old Wise Guy?
Where's Larry?
(Rocky)
Oh, over by the window, boss.
Ah?
He's got his eyes shut!
The old bastard's asleep!
Oh, to hell with him!
Let's have a drink.
(glasses clinking)
(unintelligible conversations)
It's the only way
out for him.
For the peace of all
concerned, as Hickey said.
God damn his yellow soul!
If he doesn't soon, I'll
go up and throw him off...
like a dog with
its guts ripped out
that you'd put
out of its misery!
(everybody laughing
and talking merrily)
(loud thudding noise)
(screaming and exclamations)
What the hell was that?
What the hell was that?
Something fell off
the fire escape.
A mattress,
I'll bet!
Some of these bums have been
sleepin' on the fire escape!
There ain't no...
They've got to cut it out!
Bejees, this, this, this
ain't no... fresh-air cure.
Mattresses
cost money.
Poor devil!
God rest his soul
in peace.
(laughing and giggling)
I'll never be a success in the
grandstand or anywhere else.
Life is too much for me.
I'll be a weak fool,
looking with pity
at the two sides of everything
'till the day I die,
and may that day
come soon!
I'm the only real convert
to death that Hickey made here.
From the bottom of my coward's
heart, I mean that now.
Hey there, Larry! Come on
over and get paralyzed!
What the hell you
doing, sitting there?
Bejees, let's sing,
let's celebrate!
Bejees, it's
my birthday party!
Bejees, I'm oreyeyed!
I want to sing!
Every Sunday down
to her home we go
All the boys and all
the girls they love her so
(everybody joins in)
Always jolly heart that is true I know
She is the Sunshine
of Paradise Alley
By yon bonnie banks
and by yon bonnie braes
Where the sun shines
bright on Loch Lomond
Where me and my true love
will never meet again
On the bonny, bonny
banks of Loch Lomond
I will take the high road
and I'll take the low road
And I'll be in Scotland
before ye
But me and my true love
will never meet again
(Hugo growling loudly)
On the bonny bonny banks of Loch Lomond
"Dansons la Carmagnole!
Vive le son des canons!
"Dansons la Carmagnole! Vive
le son des canons!
"Dansons la Carmagnole!
Vive le son des canons!"
"The days grow hot,
O Babylon!"
(cheering and chanting)
"'Tis cool beneath thy willow trees!"
(laughing and giggling)
(old timey piano music)