1
Well, what do you think?
Jesus Christ.
I fuckin' told you these movies
would be shit
and they are pure shit,
literally, they stink.
I can tell you why you insisted to
show me this trash, you vain dumb-ass.
Shave off your stupid brush and you'll
look precisely like this retarded pervert.
Are we fuckin' done?
I kinda like these movies.
Everyone's talking about them.
Bill doesn't like when things
are more insane than he is.
Watch it, tits!
Having the privilege to fuck,
suck me dry
still doesn't give a woman...
the right to an opinion.
Sir, I'm sorry, it was just a joke...
Shut your pussy mouth
and go answer my fuckin' mail.
Why do you look so damn pleased?
Well, sir, I think I've found
the solution to all our problems.
- What?
- Mr. Boss, we've got a code 6 in block 4.
Not again.
Dammit!
Sir, our prison relatively
has the highest personnel turnover,
violence rates, legal and medical costs
than any other institution
in the US correctional system.
Things will have to change fast
or Governor Hughes will replace us.
Over my dead body.
Get a load of Billy Boss.
What, you think you're
a fucking lone ranger?
I'm no ke-mo fucking sah-bee, bitch!
Please, sir?
I think I have the solution.
Doors, for the boss.
Scheiss, Nazi.
I'm gonna rape you...
to fucking death...
and it scares you.
I can see it...
you motherfucker.
What's his number?
Prisoner 297, sir.
Make a note.
I'll treat this walking
skin cancer later on.
Stop moving! Medic's coming.
- Which cocksucker did this?
- Hold his arm down, goddammit.
178, sir.
By the way, doc,
I need my physical check up.
- See you in an hour, at your office.
- Sir?
Did you hear me?
Yes, sir!
Fuck you!
Look.
Death, rape will be your destiny!
What's the ape nigger's
masturbation arm?
He's right handed, sir.
God!
Turn him around, belly down.
You want more?
Please, sir, no more.
Think of the medical expenses.
When your little monkey bones
are healed...
I'll come by for a follow up.
I'm gonna kill you, you wait!
You wanna rape me to death?
Death trap, death trap, death trap!
Come on, motherfuckers!
On your knees!
I want respect!
I deserve respect!
Respect!
Respect!
Respect!
Oh, God.
160 to 120.
Sweet bleeding Jesus.
- Listen, Bill, my plan...
- Shut the fuck up.
I need to relax for a few minutes!
How can you relax
with such problems at hand?
- I... I believe...
- I believe...
in bringing back
medieval torture methods.
Reverse hanging,
Spanish boots,
and the good old rack!
Statistics show that the system
as it is now just doesn't function.
Poisonous spiders...
for prisoners with arachnophobia.
Massive force feeding
with raw slaughterhouse waste of pork
for Muslims and Jews.
Beat them crippled
with their Torahs, Korans or Bibles.
More than $50 Billion a year
are spent on corrections.
Yet more than 4 in 10
offenders nationwide
return to prison within three years
of their release.
Eyes for eyes.
Teeth for teeth, times 100!
A prison should be a real deterrent
not a goddamn nursing home.
I agree! But medieval torture
ain't gonna be the answer.
Something else will.
That's why...
Mr. Boss...
I have a special delivery for you.
Don't bother me, tits. Goddammit!
I have to think!
Sorry, sir.
No, wait.
Give it to me.
Your rolling ass cheeks
tell me what it must be.
By the way I need my ball sack
emptied before lunch.
Holy shit.
What is that?
Tribe leaders in Africa
chew them for unbelievable strength.
Yeah, but what exactly is it?
- Dried clitorises.
- What?
Clit-o-ris-es!
What?
- We are comin'.
- What?
- We are comin' to your office, bitch.
- Who's this?
Oh, you don't know who I am?
It's your death squad
coming to rape you to pieces,
you fucking white trash!
Give me a guard
on the line this instant!
Somethin' wrong?
They are coming.
- Who's comin'?
- It's a code 8.
What's going on?
- Fuck off!
- Hey!
This time...
it is real, jerk!
Really real!
Oh, no. Not again.
Yes, sir?
- What's goin' on?
- Sorry, Mr. Butler,
346 must have used his once a month
family phone call to call Mr. Boss.
Won't happen again.
False alarm!
Why didn't you let me in?
What's going on?
This goddamn heat is drivin' me insane.
Sir, Doctor Jones called
about your physical...
Whoever did this is...
fucked!
Well, your heart is racing.
Have you been under a lot of stress?
Stress is for pussies.
I also hear a heart murmur.
Listen,
I'm not fuckin' paying you
to give me bad news.
I would like to draw some blood
and do an EKG as well.
I demand some fuckin' good news...
or your ass will be fired.
There's nothin' wrong with me, right?
You're in perfect health, sir.
Great.
I knew it.
Back to work!
Fuck! Fuck!
Billy Boss,
good that you joined the party!
Are there any regrets,
you little phone-action Tonto?
I would scalp you
if you had any fuckin' hair.
Fuck...
Fucker...
- What is this?
- Water, sir.
I said boiling water...
fuck face!
Yeah, get some teabags
with that too, Earl Grey.
Please, sir, just think
of the outrageous medical costs.
It's our jobs on the line here.
Sir, Governor Hughes
will be arriving in 20 minutes.
What? Today?
I thought that lobby whore
would come in on Thursday?
Sorry, it's in the agenda for today.
Shit!
Try to make him touch your ass
so we can sue his ass
for sexual harassment!
I will, sir.
Will you be attending
the execution tonight?
You fuckin' know...
I never go to these
wellness executions by injections.
Sister Dwight will attend
the feel-good penalty.
Get me out of here!
Shut up!
You, timber nigger!
Guantanamo Style XXL.
Fuck you, you Nazi!
Boiling water boarding...
by Bill Boss!
Eyes for eyes!
Teeth for teeth.
Yeah!
Times...
100!
You lost your soul, William Boss.
Oh, excuse me, sir.
I'm...
May I offer you a top of the line
Dominican cigar, governor?
I only smoke Cuban cigars,
the world's best.
You are...
a native-born citizen
of the glorious
United States of America.
The greatest nation on earth.
And you are not ashamed to smoke
communistic cigars from Cuba?
I'm only a German American
from Schweinfurt.
But I feel...
deeply ashamed for you, sir!
I apologize.
The heat...
is driving me crazy.
Right, the heat.
I guess it's your...
depressing statistics.
Statistics are Mr. Butler's department.
I... I... I know things
aren't going so well.
We are running costs inefficiently.
That's true!
I'm afraid...
I have to fire poor Mr. Butler.
Poor Mr. Butler. Your accountant...
has nothing to do with it.
Answering violence with violence
is not the way of a real leader.
You Bill are no Boss.
You have managed one thing however...
to damage me in an election year.
I'll return in two weeks.
When I return,
I want changes.
And if I don't get them...
I will replace you...
and your accountant, understood?
Very well, sir. Sure thing.
No problem, sir!
Fuck!
Fuck!
Fuck you!
Fuck yourself!
You imbecile, communist,
zombie cunt.
Nobody insults me like that.
I'll stuff your baggy
homosexual shithole
with Cuban Cigars up to your throat!
Don't mess with Bill Boss!
I did everything I could,
I swear to God!
Please, Boss,
will you just listen to my idea?
Shut the fuck up!
Fuck the sissy psychological
leadership bullshit!
My leadership balls
are atom bombs!
A 100 megatons each!
I'll teach him leadership!
I'll do what I wanted to do since ages!
Castrate them all!
No, it won't work
besides it's permanent!
Send the cockroaches to the yard!
But it's 120 degrees outside,
that's irresponsible!
Great.
Let the pork
roast!
Good morning, pigs!
Good to smell your acid stink again.
A prison is like a swine farm
and I'm your Almighty Lord
and swineherd.
My grandfather owned
a big one in Germany
He castrated thousands of pigs.
Why?
Because they have too much testosterone.
That's what makes 'em so aggressive.
You might wonder, why I'm telling you
this touching little story.
One of you lucky cock-suckers
will have the privilege
to experience first as a prototype
the transformation into a sissy eunuch.
Castration will return
all of you back into society
as sweet, harmless,
submissive pussy schnitzels.
And the winner is...
our awesome tattoo wasp!
Sister prisoner 297! Congrats!
Take him to the special cell.
Enjoy your sunbath!
Allahu Akbar! Allahu Akbar!
Yeah! Yeah!
Hey, warden, I like my men bald.
I think it's sexy.
Why don't you come over here
and suck my dick.
No worries!
As a child...
I've seen it a hundred times,
trust me.
Turn him around...
facing the wall!
No. Please. Don't!
You bitch!
Bring these little fuckers to the cook!
I want 'em medium rare...
for lunch!
Have him stitched up!
Yeah!
Yeah, yeah!
I'm sorry, sir.
I can't do it with Dwight in the room.
Go ahead for Christ's sake!
Dwight...
is my pet.
Good.
Yeah. Yeah.
Come on. Swallow it!
I didn't get your asshole of father
out of prison for nothin'!
Swallow it, bitch! Swallow up!
God damn it!
Sir, could I please have
a candy for the taste?
- Help yourself!
- Don't, Daisy, don't.
Shut up!
Gross,
this is salty.
Back to work, office slut.
Where is my lunch? I'm fuckin' hungry.
Here is your lunch, Mr. Boss.
Energy Food!
Daddy, I promise you nothing's wrong.
No. I've just been so busy.
I did talk to him about the hours.
He said that it's gonna get better.
Look...
we are positively in the papers.
"Craig Sinner executed
in George H. W. Bush
state prison at 1:00 A.M."
Did you get off last night?
Well, he called for Satan
before he died!
Putting the cockroach
gently to sleep with a sissy needle.
Is that the way
he killed the kid?
No!
Torture castration will be
the final solution.
No, it won't!
Why is this shit on my desk?
Please, please, please, Bill,
will you just listen to my idea?
Not when I'm eating my health food!
- What?
- Sir, prisoner 297 is about to wake up.
The moment...
of truth.
You white fuck!
Crimson red, thoroughbred.
I'm still a red man, you fucker.
You white fuck.
When I'm walking free,
I'm gonna stab in your eyes.
Time for the follow up as I promised.
Well, he's still a bit weak
from the incident
but we have given him some morphine
to manage the pain.
I personally castrated him.
Yes, we all are aware.
And tomorrow we'll start
a fuckin' mass castration
doing them all!
Thanks, doc, for fixing everything.
I owe Mr. Boss big time.
This is the only hospital that will
let me work without my license.
You better believe it!
Glad you appreciate it.
Hey, man.
How do you feel?
Feel submissive. Even thankful, I bet.
You took them...
that's okay.
I don't need them.
When I get loose I'm gonna
find some barb wire
and I'm gonna fuck you
in the ass with it.
And then I'm gonna dig up
your German Nazi parents
and I'm gonna fucking rape them too.
Sieg heil, motherfucker!
Yeah, I told you it wouldn't work.
Shut your filthy mouth!
I'm not getting a heartbeat.
- Resuscitate him. Quickly! Hurry up!
- I need a crash cart over here!
Alright, it's charging.
Alright, everybody, clear?
Shocking now.
Alright, charging. Shocking now!
I'll kill this creature twice!
I do not accept this heat!
I want you to watch these.
Oh, I've seen those.
They're really good.
Where have you been?
I'm gonna shoot all
the malignant cock sockets.
Then you.
And then myself.
What's the goddamn point of living
when even the castration program
doesn't work...
and I get fired?
Seriously?
It's also my job,
and my life on the line!
How dare you, ugly piece of mutant shit
talking to me like that?
I have been trying
to tell you for days now.
I have the answer to all our problems!
We've got to make a human
centipede of our prisoners.
Sewn ass to mouth
sharing one digestive system.
No more prison fights, no more assaults
on guards, no more disrespect.
They will literally be on their knees
begging for your mercy
and it's the ultimate deterrent
for those considering a career in crime.
It's brilliant!
We don't gotta to deal
with their shit no more.
They just gotta deal with each other's.
What?
That B movie shit?
- Impossible!
- No! It is possible.
That's why I let Daisy make an appointment
with Mr. Tom Six creator of these films.
He claims that it's 100%
medically accurate!
The man is still in his potty stage.
A poop infatuated toddler.
You call him now and tell him
I don't speak
with a stupid filmmaker
about his poop fetish!
Fine then, we'll get fired!
You...
are fired!
Right now!
You know, Bill Boss,
I used to look up to you.
I used to idol-worship you.
I worked 10 years for you
and I grew this stupid mustache
to look like you.
But I know what you are.
You're a sadistic, vile, asshole.
Get out of my face.
You malignant midget!
I just saved your fuckin' life!
I hate...
human beings!
Black, chicken slave niggers...
mother fisting, baby raping
Mexican lowlifes.
Me cago en la madre que te pario.
Circumcised, ugly Jewish goat fuckers.
Pubic hair bearded Islamic halal pigs.
Jesus fuckin' bleached assholes.
Impotent, yellow faced,
narrow eyed coons!
Guards?
Dwight!
How you all...
got out of your cells?
Go back to your cells, immediately.
I only follow orders.
I just try to do my job.
Please forgive me and let me go.
I will pardon all of you!
No!
I just let you go...
immediately, you can go.
Go.
Go!
See your fuck...
See your loved ones.
I have a heart problem...
and diabetes mellitus!
Under stress
I could get a severe attack...
that would kill me!
Today is your day...
to be fucked like the rest of us.
But I'm not gonna do you...
in your stinking ass.
I'm gonna cut me a fresh hole
in your soft kidney tissue.
Belly down!
Death rape!
Death rape! Death rape!
Shit, this shit feels good.
Death rape! Death rape!
You like that, daddy?
Don't move, here it comes!
- What?
- Sir, Mr. Tom Six is at the gate.
Send him in.
Dwight!
Didn't I fire you?
I'm gonna give you one last chance
and if you don't like what you hear
then I'll quit myself!
Mr. Tom Six! It's so great to meet you.
My name's Daisy.
I was wondering if you could sign
an autograph for me before you go in.
- Sure, babe.
- Thank you.
- You're even more handsome in person.
- Thanks.
Let me show you in.
Gentlemen, Mr. Tom Six.
Mr. Six, it's nice meet you.
- Hello, sir.
- My name is Dwight Butler.
- This is my boss, Mr. Bill Boss.
- Sir.
Please take a seat.
First of all, Mr. Six, I'd like to say
congratulations on your movies.
They've become a... a cultural mime.
I mean, there is the "South Park"
episode of the Human Centipede.
And then there's the LA porn parody,
and the cat toys.
I don't have the time for this...
fan shit shat.
Well, I'm sorry I'm late.
Prisoner 297 had a heart attack
and I had to resuscitate him again.
But... he's stable now. I...
Mr. Six, this is a big pleasure
'cause I'm a big fan!
Thank you sir.
Well, we are gathered here today.
Glad to investigate the possibility
of applying
Mr. Six's human centipede
idea to our prison.
I mean, is it 100% medically accurate?
This is my desk!
In my headquarters!
At my penitentiary!
Wake up!
We're not in a movie here
playing some idiots!
Well, it is 100% medically accurate.
I consulted a real surgeon in Amsterdam
and he made a very detailed
operation report for me
and he said he could actually make
a human centipede in his hospital.
I brought the... operation reports
and the drawings...
so maybe you can have a look at that?
- Okay...
- What do you think, doc?
Well, from what I see here, it looks...
- medically accurate.
- You're sure?
You would have to give
anti-rejection medication
and there is always the risk of infection
during the healing process, but...
yeah, I'm sure.
But what about the excretia?
Well, the feces wouldn't be contaminated
by outside bacteria
because it would be going
from one digestive tract to another.
So it wouldn't be harmful.
But there wouldn't be
much nutritional value.
On the other hand
if you gave a series of...
injections of fluids with plenty
of vitamins and minerals
I don't see why someone couldn't survive
a lifetime in this position.
Gentlemen.
This is a historical moment.
This is beyond medieval torture!
Beyond castration!
The ultimate correction nationwide.
We have business on hand, gentlemen.
We start immediately.
No, the surgery can't be done
like in Tom Six's movies.
We have to take into account of the fact
that at the end of their sentence
the prisoners have to be released
without being mutilated.
So I've been thinking about this.
What we have is instead
of the pulling of the teeth
we have a gastro-intestinal bite-ring
that holds the mouth open,
so they can't stop the feces
from coming into their system.
Instead of the cutting
of the knee ligaments
we simply inject to induce
temporary paralysis in that joint.
Then, to attach the head
to the buttocks of the person in front
we have a system of leather straps
which can be adjusted,
pulled in tight and then undone
for when we release.
At the end of their sentence
and taken out of the centipede
there's only a slight scar
round their mouth and anus.
Well, doctor, what do you think?
Is it possible?
Very clever, Mr. Butler.
But this, all of this is beginning
to be in serious conflict
with my Hippocratic oath.
If I back out of this,
I'm gonna get fired, aren't I?
Very clever thinking, Mr. Jones.
You know, my original idea
for the Human Centipede films was
sewing a child molester's mouth
to the anus of a fat truck driver,
as a punishment, so I love this.
I just got an even better idea
for our life-time-trash
and the death-row-scum.
But I'll talk to my loyal doctor first.
Gentlemen, you may use my human
centipede idea, but on one condition.
I have witnessed all the fake
latex stuff on my movie sets.
Now I insist on attending one of your
real mouth to anus operations.
Deal.
I put you in charge
of the whole operation, doctor.
Soon you'll lead...
surgical teams all over the States.
Fantastic!
We're going to need
a much bigger surgical team.
We have to run blood workups
on all the prisoners,
test their stool samples for parasites.
Whatever you need, doc.
I've another brilliant idea.
We'll show the cockroaches
the two Human Centipede films
back to back...
at their monthly film night
and then...
I'll announce them their fate.
The prisoners will tear
this place apart.
We have to do this without
the fore knowledge of our clientele.
Shut up, pooper.
How dare you...
turn your back on me?
Yo, what the fuck is this?
This trash occupies a world
where the stars don't shine.
Come on, swallow it, bitch.
- No!
- Swallow.
What the fuck?
Oh, man!
These films risk causing harm.
They should be banned!
Turn that shit off!
Hey, cockroaches
did you like these films?
I handpicked them for you
as an instructional
and mental training.
The world's first
human-prison centipede
will finally teach you
how to become humans.
I don't think this is a very good idea.
Literally
on your fucking hands and knees.
Your ugly pussy mouths
sewn to an unwiped asshole
feeding of the diarrhea
from your fellow inmate.
I can't wait...
to see...
your pure
agony!
Help!
Help!
Help!
- What's going on?
- Fuck off!
Don't hurt me, Bill Boss is in there.
I have nothing to do with this,
I swear to God!
Special forces immediately!
Get the fucking door!
It's time to fuck!
Bill!
Here.
I'm here.
Where are you?
Here.
Over here, I need help.
Got eyes on Bill Boss.
Thank God, I just couldn't find you.
The situation's under control now.
But they...
they really hurt Daisy.
Can't you see I'm hurt?
Get the medical team for me!
Hurry up!
It's an emergency!
Now it's...
hell on Earth!
Do you hear me?
Scum...
of the...
universe!
The "Silence of the Lambs."
Sedation rifle!
Fuck!
No worries. It's only a sedation rifle.
No!
Fuck you!
Gentlemen.
Unleash...
hell!
Their submissiveness
gives me a huge erection.
Death rape, death rape.
Rape, rape, rape.
Eyes for eyes,
teeth for teeth.
Get the fucking scum
on their fucking knees.
On your fucking knees,
on your fucking, fucking knees.
Get the fucking scum
on their fucking knees,
on their fucking,
fucking fucking, fucking knees.
I'll explain.
This spectacular operation only once.
We start with injections into the lig...
Ligamenta patellae.
Ligamenta patellae.
Paralyzing the ligaments
of your kneecaps.
So knee-extension
is no longer possible.
Your lips and anuses are cut circular
along the border between skin
and mucosa, the muc...
Mucous-cutaneous.
Mucous-cutaneous zone.
Then we combine those circular mucosa
and skin parts of anus and mouth
creating a human centipede
connected via your gastric systems.
Gentlemen.
Put them to sleep.
By the way, what are your plans for the
life sentenced and death row prisoners?
Wait and wonder, peepheart.
How's it going, doc?
Right on schedule, five surgical teams
working round the clock.
Those teams creating centipede segments
of three prisoners each,
which are then taken outside
to the hospital tents
and then they are sewn into the final
larger human centipede chain.
Marvelous, doc.
Since I have you here...
what do you want to do with
this prisoner? He has Crohn's disease.
What the fuck is Crohn's disease?
It's an inflammatory bowel disorder.
The prisoner has constant diarrhea.
Who'll kiss his ass?
Our awesome...
tattoo wasp!
The white, anal sexing prostitute.
Please.
One more chance.
Please, don't sew me into
a human centipede. I beg you.
Yeah, yeah.
Your whining
makes my dick even harder.
Revenge is so sweet.
Take it into your sleep.
We have another problem at hand.
That's fuckin' gross!
I have a stoma
and you have a problem.
Thank God.
Gracias a la virgen Mara,
now I finally discovered why they
blessed me with a lifetime stoma.
This guy is repulsive.
Maybe it's a fake.
With Mexicans, you never know.
No fake.
No way to integrate him, doc?
His rectum is sewn shut, no.
Finish him off then.
I'm sorry.
But I have cooperated with you
and I will... continue to cooperate.
But I will not just kill prisoners!
Jesus Christ.
Chicken shit!
Excuse me.
I have work to do.
My friend, you don't match.
I have to kill you.
Take it fucking personally!
Take my gun.
Wash it, oil it, disinfect it.
If I sniff the tiniest stink
you'll suck a bullet out of it.
And what do you want to do with him?
I am sick and tired of your vegetables.
What the fuck!
Please... can we go and see Daisy now?
Just look at her.
She's the only beautiful
and sweet thing about this place.
I think she should be treated
in a regular hospital.
No.
I want my cock socket close.
Beaten up women...
make me so horny.
Please, Bill, don't.
Jesus Christ.
I beg you.
I love her.
Even the corpse of a spastic
would turn you down. Fuck off!
I'll make you squirt even in a coma.
Alright, we're all done.
Good job.
I want you to make sure
that the world premiere of the first
human-prison centipede
is guaranteed
to take place the moment
our communist governor
appears at the gate to destroy us!
Well, there is only
16 more prisoners left
to undergo the procedure.
After that the human-prison centipede
will be finally complete
on time and under budget.
They did their magic.
Thank God for Africa!
Thank God for female circumcision!
Private rehearsal!
Let's hear what our zombie governor
will have to say.
May I offer you a genuine
Dominican Republic cigar?
I only smoke Cuban cigars,
best in the world.
No! Just kidding.
After having seen the miracle
of the first human-prison centipede
I'll never again touch
a communistic cigar from Cuba
because you... Sir William Boss
you are the new American hero.
You are in the Hall of Fame
with George Patton
Neil Armstrong and Muhammad Ali.
Thanks to you.
Our glorious nation
will be the example to the world again.
A proud, safe nation
with hardly any crime.
Your idea, Sir William,
is of absolute genius.
You will be honored personally
by the President
of the United States of America.
Actually, it was my accountant
Mr. Dwight Butler,
it was his brilliant idea.
Oh, yeah.
You did it.
You fucking...
fucking did it.
Mr. President.
It's me, William Boss, call me Bill.
Sir, Mr. Tom Six is at the gate.
Sir?
- Sir?
- What?
Sir?
Oh, man, I am so excited to see
the real mouth to ass operation.
Prove all the skeptics wrong.
It is 100% medically accurate.
I'm gonna be so rich and famous.
You owe me big time, mister.
I'm already eating my own shit.
I want to be
in the prison-human centipede.
Wait, can't we use him
in the media conference?
No.
I don't want anyone
liking this!
Oh, man, this is so wrong.
Come on.
- Wash, please.
- Wash.
Yeah.
- Marker.
- Marker!
Yeah.
My hands are shaking with excitement!
What about you, Six? Having a hard-on?
Look at this.
Oh, yeah, oh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Six, I am gonna show you
some Human Centipede improvement.
Copyright, Bill Boss.
Follow me!
- What a poor pussy?
- What in the hell is this?
Wait and see, Dwighty.
Wait and wonder
Wait and see
Mr. Dwighty
Mr. Dwighty
Wait and wonder
Wait and see
Mr. Dwighty.
No.
120/80.
Perfect!
The pede looks perfect.
The last few prisoners
have just been attached
and although the wounds
are still fresh you get the idea!
Perfect!
- What?
- Sir, Governor Hughes is on his way.
Perfect!
We are ready for the cunt!
Dwight! I repeat... you are really
the cunt!
Hello, sir.
Why do you two assholes...
look so pleased with yourselves?
The both of you are fucking fired.
I should have done it years ago.
All problems are history, sir.
I took your advice.
I've learned
from your strong personality.
You are the ultimate leader.
You are my role model.
And now the prisoners
are like obedient slaves
begging for mercy.
I got them down on their knees.
Literally.
Your last visit inspired me
to such an extend
a brilliant idea!
I'll show you the result
that tells more than a thousand words.
The last ones have just been attached.
So it is show time.
Attached?
Attached?
A-T-T-A-C-H-E-D, attached?
- Yes.
- What does that mean?
Wait and see.
You talk so much shit,
your ass must get jealous.
Great, governor, I love that.
What the hell is this?
The black panther
made it to the lead!
This burger-killer is feeding the whole
humanitarian system behind him.
Don't cry. Tomorrow,
you'll get your hamburgers.
- Why?
- Because he loves junk food.
No, no, I don't mean that.
I mean, what...
What is this?
Dwight...
tell the governor my vision!
And this black whiner here
has to become a middle piece.
Fuck!
Well, sir,
more than 50 billion dollars a year
are spend on corrections.
Yet more than 4 in 10
offenders nationwide
return to prison within
three years of their release.
This, despite a massive increase
in state expenditure.
- Shit!
- But, not anymore.
This human-prison centipede
will reduce crime dramatically.
It will be a deterrent to anyone
considering a career in crime
and no more recidivism.
Feed him!
Feed him!
Digestion in progress!
No, it's not halal
it's not kosher!
A Jew behind a Muslim
a Muslim behind a Jew!
A Republican behind a Mexican
a crip behind a blood.
"Peace on earth,
good will to men."
Oh, my God.
This is too much.
Bill Boss...
isn't that your secretary?
Yeah... yeah. That's...
only a short...
gender-test!
Come on, sir!
Dwight!
Tell our beloved governor
about the money savings!
The savings would be in the billions!
We can make savings on prison staff
food and drinks.
On books and television, housing.
Heck, we don't even need fences no more.
We can even save more money
if we attach them in a circle
like a perpetuum mobile.
Feces going round and round.
Food isn't needed anymore.
Only cheap liquid
and vitamin injections.
And that money could be spent
on schools and the hospitals
and nursing homes and road improvements.
Whatever you want.
And the tax payers,
they'll love you for it.
His anus is not very clean!
I want perfection in my penitentiary!
Inmates shall feel well
and clean, understand?
Wipe it!
I apologize.
In the beginning
things are not always perfect.
Please follow me
for another interesting insight.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
The human caterpillar!
For the lifetime convicts
and our friends on death row.
Now...
is that a deterrent?
This man...
has just finished his sentence...
and already checked out
of the centipede chain.
Ready to go home.
All what is left are a few little scars
around his mouth and anus.
Another big advantage
because other people can see
by these little stigmas
that he was integrated
in a prison centipede.
Another huge deterrent, right?
How are you doing?
Good luck, my friend.
Stay clean!
You see? It really works.
What do you think, sir?
This...
this is a violation of human rights.
It's certainly a violation
of federal ethics!
Oh, God, I am fucked.
You insane freaks will get
the death penalty for this.
Sir, you're dead right.
But in fact, it was Mr... But...
This is heights. This is too much.
This is too much.
You got the wrong man!
Fuck!
Please, don't.
What an epic
glorious moment?
When do you think we can start
the national surgical campaign
'cause I am so fucking ready.
What is the matter?
Gentlemen...
this is exactly what America needs.
This may even get me elected president.
You've convinced me. It's genius.
Don't change a goddamn thing.
My pals in DC... they won't believe
their near-sighted eyeballs.
Yep, my idea!
You are...
absolutely right, Dwight.
You're indeed a genius.
You came up with the idea.
You deserve every credit.
Give me a hug, Dwighty!