When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference
who you are
Anything
your heart desires
Will come to you
If your heart
is in your dream
No request
is too extreme
When you wish
Upon a star
As dreamers do
Boy, talk about
your lucky puppet.
I'd give anything
if only I could become...
a real live boy
like that Pinocchio.
Aah!
Is that what you wish for above
all other things, dear Spot?
Oh, yes, dear Blue Fairy.
Being a real live boy
is the most important thing...
in the whole
wide world to me.
Then close your eyes
very tightly, dear Spot...
and wish for it
with all your heart.
I wish I was a boy.
I wish I was a boy.
I wish I was a-
Ow, you're hurting me,
dear Blue Fairy.
I ain't no fairy!
And it's time to get up.
Sorry, Pretty Boy.
It's just that I was having
the most wonderful dream.
Him with the dream again.
It's not enough
you dress up like a boy...
and go to that
cockamamie school every day!
No. "I want to be a boy.
I want to be a boy. "
Well, wise up, pupchik!
I want to be a rooster
in a henhouse...
but I don't see it happenin'!
Although I'd be a darn good one,
wouldn't I, Mr. Jolly?
Ohhh... la.
It's a bit early in the day...
for hypothetical speculations,
but... you? A rooster?
It is to laugh.
Who asked you, tuna breath?
You're still in bed?!
Come on, get up.
You don't want to be late...
for the last day of school,
do you?
And ruin my perfect
attendance record?
I don't think so.
Come on, let's go!
- Pants?
- Check.
- Shirt?
- Check.
- Tail.
- Tucked.
- Eyebrows?
- Plucked!
- Ears in cap?
- Ooh, a table scrap.
- Chow?
- Demolished.
- Apple?
- Polished!
World, here I come! Ha!
Born on the wrong end
of the leash
I was a dreamer
And a little schemer
A simple mutt
livin' a dog's life
But the bell for school
would make me drool
Till I came up
with this clever ploy
Which is to say,
dressing like a boy
Now he thinks he can take
other pets a peg down
Hey, I'm a dog who's learned
to keep his leg down
I gotta be a boy
He's so over
just being Rover
Gotta be a boy
This teacher's pet
thinks that he's a boy
He da bomb.
- He's a regular whiz kid
- Yeah, but-
Hey, that's how it is, kid
Now that summer's here
You'll be a dog
like any other
Leonard, haven't you
always wanted a brother?
I want to have a dog
- Hey, I'm off the leash now
- He's eating quiche now
Gotta be a boy
A boy and nothing but a boy
Nothing but a boy
Don't you think
you're stretching?
Quit your kvetching
Gotta be a boy
Spot, you can fake it,
but you'll never be a boy
But soft,
could what he said be true?
Is this really just a phase
I'm going through?
I sure hope so.
Shall I go back
to serving man?
Eat wholesome dinners
from a can?
Who needs French
and scoring goals?
Come on,
let's bark and dig some holes
What am I, nuts?
Leonard, wake up
and smell the kibble!
I gotta be a boy
- Spot, sit and stay now
- What did you say now?
He's gotta be a boy
- I've got to be
- It's not to be
- I long to be
- You're wrong to be
- It's great to be
- Great trait to be
- We'd hate to be
- Can't wait to be
- My mate-to-be
- Too late to be
It's my fate to be
A boy
A dog
- A boy, a boy
- A dog, a dog
- A boy, boy, boy
- Dog, dog, dog, dog
- Boy
- Dog
Bo-o-o-oy
Boy!
Congratulations,
Scott Leadready ll...
on winning the fourth grade
perfect attendance medal!
Thank you, Mrs. Helperman.
It's just the thing...
to compliment my math medal,
history medal...
and science medal.
Not to mention my medal
for self-esteem. Ohh!
Well, it's been a gosh darned
jubilatious joy teaching you!
- And all of you.
- Uhh!
Oh, foo.
I promised myself
I wouldn't cry.
I'm just going to miss you...
all so much.
Mom!
I told you a million times...
no hugs at school!
Oh, sorry, doodlebug.
I mean... dude, don't bug me.
Anyhoo, what yummy,
fun plans...
does everyone have
for this summer?
I'm going to my Granny Smith's
Granny Smith apple farm.
We're skatin' 24/7.
I'm grounded for a week for
hacking into Buckingham Palace.
But after that,
I get to visit my uncle Ivan...
who does strange
and disgusting experiments...
on animals and people.
I mean, who knows?
Maybe next time
I see you guys...
I'll be able to breath through
my neck like an amphibian!
Aah!
You're so weird, Ian.
Wait'll you see me with gills!
Heh! Hottie!
Aah!
Ahh! This summer.
Yeah, I know what I'm doin'-
just playin'
with my best friend.
Hey! Aah!
Yeah, best friends forever.
Calm down, angel eyes.
Now, poppy can't make
his announcement...
with your sharp little talons
in his Adam's apple!
Now, students
of the, uh, um...
Fourth grade,
Principal Strickler.
But soon to be fifth grade!
That's why I'm glad
I'm a principal.
None of this messy
student/teacher involvement.
They grow, they leave-
good riddance.
But I suppose it is
just that sort of...
bushy-gushy loving
teacher stuff...
that leads
to this announcement. Hmph!
Mrs. Mary Lou Helperman,
you have been selected...
as a finalist for
the Teacher of the Year award!
Neato!
That's right,
it's the N.E.A.T.O.-
the National Excellent American
Teacher Organization award!
Way to go, Mom!
And that's not all,
Mary Lou Helperman!
As a finalist...
the Fala D. Roosevelt
Unified School District...
will be sending you
to compete...
in the final round
of competition...
in beautiful sunny
southern Florida!
Florida!
And the fun doesn't end there,
Mary Lou Helperman.
Oh, no. Because
you'll be travelling...
to the Sunshine State
in the luxury...
of my very own personal
air-conditioned Wentawaygo!
Yes, it's all yours.
Mi Wentawaygo
es su Wentawaygo.
I only have one, uh, heh,
little, tiny, very simple rule-
Certainly, Principal Strickler.
Absolutely no dogs are allowed
in my Wentawaygo, ever!
I Ihate dogs!
Well, I guess this is
the time to say good-bye.
Oh, come on,
don't make it harder.
Don't give me
those big, sad dog eyes.
They're the only eyes
I got, Leonard.
The eyes of a dog-
a dog who's not going anywhere.
Just staying home...
by himself...
here... alone!
The dog.
But you're not
going to be alone.
You've got Pretty Boy
and Jolly...
and Mrs. Boogin's the nicest
pet-sitter in the whole world.
And besides,
it's only for two weeks.
Yeah, in boy-time, two weeks...
but everything in dog-time
is seven times longer...
so for me it's fourteen weeks.
It might as well be forever.
Man, this really stinks.
You should smell it
from down here.
OK, just two weeks,
then I'm back...
and it's you and me,
best friends...
together, all summer long.
Aw, jeez, you're gonna sing now,
aren't you?
I know it's been said
Oh, boy.
Everyone needs someone
This is not making it better.
A loyal companion
To share in life's fun
You're killing me here.
For a day at the park
Or a game of leapfrog
Sing it with me, Spot.
I thought you'd never ask.
A friend needs a friend
A boy needs a dog
Leonard! Come on,
Lenny-bones, hop in!
Let's skit-skat-skedoodle!
Florida's not gonna
come to us, you know?
Mwah!
Bye, Spotty-wots!
Be a good doggie!
Whoa!
Don't forget your sun block.
John?
MAN ON TV. Mancia?
- Jolhn!
- Mancia!
Yawn! Mush-a!
- Jolhn?
- Mancia?
You stupid people
with no lives...
are watching
"The Barry Anger Show"!
- Aah!
- Aah!
Hi, I'm Barry Anger...
and today on the hot seat,
we have Dr. Ivan Krank...
a world-class wacko who-
get this-
claims he can turn animals
into human beings!
Huh? Turn animals
into human beings?
My dream come true!
Oh, now, how did this trash
get on my TV?
Where's my clicker?
Oh, for goodness sakes,
where did I put that?
Hey!
Oh, silly me, I must have
left it in the kitchen.
Well, good excuse to get
us all some more yummies!
Moochie poochie!
God love her for the food,
but that woman is definitely...
a couple of caraways
short of a seed bell.
Shh! Look!
Direct from Florida,
where the cuckoo nuts grow...
the world's biggest wacko,
Dr. Ivan Krank!
I am not a wacko!
I am a man of science,
who has perfected...
the neuro-electrical,
photo-pulsar-based...
methodology to isolate
the genome on the dna strand...
which will allow me
to transform dumb animals...
into dumb human beings-
just like you!
Wow, it's my dream come true!
AUDIENCE.
Wacko! Wacko! Wacko!
Wacko! Wacko! Wacko!
No! You are the wackos...
if you don't believe
that the possibilities...
for change in this world
are infinite!
And I'll prove it!
As soon as I find
the perfect animal subject...
to turn into
a real live human being!
Me, Dr. Krank, me!
Hey, smart boy,
let me explain how TV works.
We can hear them,
but they can't hear us.
I've got to meet that man.
He's the one chance
I have to finally make...
my lifelong dream come true!
But he's all the way
in Florida...
where Leonard and his mom
are headed right now!
What a coinkidink.
Coinkidink, Mr. Jolly?
Coinkidink?
That I just happened
to lay on that clicker...
and change to that channel
and see that miracle man...
who just happens
to live in Florida...
where Leonard and his mom just
happen to be going as we speak?
Coinkidink, Mr. Jolly...
or fate?
Cover for me with
the pet-sitter, guys.
I'm goin' to Florida!
Aah! Cover with the pet-sitter?
But how? We have no experience!
And we have no time to prepare!
Oh, dear me!
Oh, this is bad.
This is very bad.
How will we ever
pull it off? Oh!
La la la la
Ooh!
Oh, mercy, Spot!
I almost sat on you!
Do you love mommy?
I think we can handle it.
Come on, Leonard,
let's play a game.
"20 questions. "
I'll start. Here's your hint.
It's someone you love.
What? Spot?
Wow, good guess!
No, I saw him!
With my own eyes!
Oh, you want to play that game.
Ha ha ha!
All righty,
I spy with my little eye-
Spot!
No, come on, honey, Spot can't
be the answer every time.
Mom, you gotta stop!
Ooh, ooh, you're right.
We do. We need gas.
OK, you fill 'er up, sweetie.
I've got to go powder my nose.
Cleanliness is next
to godliness...
but gas station bathrooms
are not.
Spot? Spot? Where are you?
Oh, no...
Lose something, bunky?
Spot! Ha!
You're OK!
I can't believe it!
What are you doing here?
I had to come, Lenny!
How could I stay away?
I just love you so much and
wanted to be with you so bad.
A friend needs a friend.
A boy needs a dog.
OK, I also need a lift
to Florida...
for my own self-serving
reasons...
but why spoil
this beautiful moment with that?
I love ya!
I want to be with ya!
Mmm, give us another hug!
Oh, Spot, good ol' boy!
Hey, wait a second.
Are you crazy?
You heard what
Principal Strickler said...
about no dogs
in his Wentawaygo.
And here comes my mom
right now!
What are we gonna do, Spot?
- Spot?
- Did you just say Spot?
No, Mrs. Helperman,
he said Scott!
As in Scott Leadready ll,
your old pal from back home!
Who'da thunk it
and fancy meeting me here.
He's good.
Oh, Scott, I've missed you.
Really, Mrs. H? How much?
Enough to take me
on the rest of your trip...
to sunny southern Florida?
Heh heh!
- Could we, Mom?
- Well, of course not, honey.
Scott's obviously traveling
with his family.
What family? Oh! My family!
Sure, I'm traveling
with my family.
My whole family-
Mom, sis, Grandma...
Uncle Jojo, the ventriloquist,
his dummy Floyd-
My family!
Ooh, I love 'em!
I love 'em, but darn the luck,
wouldn't you know...
they can't go to Florida,
because-because why?
There's been an emergency?
Good. I mean,
it's a good emergency.
The kind where
they all have to go home...
but I can still
go to Florida with you.
Which is the good part,
so, come on, let's hit the road!
Well, hmm, I'd certainly
need to discuss it...
with your mother first.
Oy, you don't make this easy.
She'll meet you
right over there.
Slhe just. ulh.
Ihas to get dnessed.
Ooh, jeez!
What I have to go through
to become a real live boy!
Ooh!
SPO T. Wlhy. Many Lou Helpenman!
Hello and Ihalleloo!
Ha ha ha!
If you weren't just sent
from heaven above...
to take our dear
little Scott to Flor-
I'm sorry to interrupt,
Mrs. Leadready...
but do you want to hear
the funniest thing?
I brought that exact
same dress on this trip.
Oh, that is funny.
You're a stitch!
Anyway, back to poor Scott.
He so desperately wants
to go to Florida.
And I believe I packed that
same shade of lipstick, too!
Really? What a coinkidink!
Anyway, as I was saying-
And those earrings
look awfully familiar.
Are you gonna take him or not?!
Darlin'.
Well, gee, shouldn't we check
with the rest of your family?
Oy. The rest of my-
I'll see
who's round the corner!
Yeah, yeah, I tell ya-
Thanks, gals.
Missus, please take Scott...
to sunny southern Florida...
so I can have some peace
from all his merciless teasing!
Young lady, I missed my chance
to see Florida...
when I was the boy's age...
and look what a bitter old woman
I turned out to be!
You must be Scott's-
I can't talk to you!
I'm too bitter!
Hoity-toity-toity-toity-toi.
An' 'tis wishin' I am
that some fine soul...
would take me Scotty boy
to Florida.
Uncle Jojo the ventriloquist?
'Tis!
And where's your dummy Floyd?
Great St. Patty's shillelagh!
The little leprechaun
must be around here somewhere.
OK, you be Floyd.
- Me? I don't know what to do!
- Just shut up and act dumb!
- What?
- Perfect!
Mrs. Helperman,
meet dummy Floyd.
Take our Scott, please!
Oh, ha ha ha!
Ohh, Leonard's gotta see this.
Where'd he go?
And where's Scott?
Oh, I'll find 'em, Colleen...
providin' you'll hie me
fine nephew to fair Florida.
Well, of course, I'll take him!
I've been planning
to take him all along.
And you couldn't
have just said that...
to the lady
in the flowery dress?
Saints preserve us!
Say good-bye, Floyd!
Top o' the mornin' to ya!
Hey, I do the cliched
Irish dialogue around here.
- So, whassup?
- So, whassup?
Well, Scott, it looks like you
are coming with us to Florida!
- Yes!
- Yes!
I'm on my way to Florida!
Come on, everyone!
Time's a-wastin'!
Let's hit the road
and sing a song about it!
What is it with
this family and singing?
I'm starting to feel
von trapped.
There's a whole bunch of world
in our backyard
An awful lot
of world to see
Alabama, Alaska,
Arizona, Arkansas
And now the states
that start with "C" And "D"
California, Colorado,
and Connecticut
Dear Delaware,
the very first state
Ohh
Florida and Georgia,
Hawaii, Idaho
Where they grow
a lot of trout and potato
Right smack in the middle,
little lllinois
Indiana and Iowa, too
There's Kansas and Kentucky,
and way down south
Louisiana is shaped
like a shoe
And still a lot
of states to do, whew!
Eight states start with "M",
now let's name them
Maine, Maryland,
and Massachoooo-setts
Mich, Minneso,
Mississipp, Show me mo
Montana, now we're more
than halfway through
Nebraska, Nevada,
and the "News"
Hampshire, Jersey,
Mexico, and York
Now the "Norths",
Carolina and Dakota
Where Sacajawea
guided Lewis and Clark
Ohio, Oklahoma, and Oregon
Pennsylvania, where they
wrote the Constitution
Little Rhode Island
and South Carolina
Where the rebels tried
to start a revolution
South Dakota, Tennessee,
and next to Mexico
Texas, where they have
a lot of cows
Utah, green Vermont,
and old Virginny
Where George Washington
took his first bow, wow!
We're all the way
to "W" now
Washington,
West Virginia and Wisconsin
I don't know how much higher
I can sing
But that's OK
'cause we've gone all the way
From Alabama to Wyoming
From Alabama
to Wyomi-i-i-ing
Hey!
Gee, I was sure the map
said sunny Florida...
was around here somewhere.
LEONARD. Wow!
Oh, here it is!
Ha ha ha ha!
- Aah!
- Ha ha ha!
- Oh!
- Aaaah!
Aaaah! Aaah! Aaah!
Ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ahh.
I could get used to this.
Oh, no, but I can't.
I'll be late
for the first round...
of the Teacher of the Year
competition.
Have fun on the beach, boys.
Stay near the lifeguard.
Meet me at the Wentawaygo
for dinner at 6:00 sharp!
Reapply your sunblock
every two hours!
Don't go in the water for at
least half an hour after you-
- Mom!
- OK, just wish me luck!
- Luck!
- Luck!
All right, she's gone.
We've got the whole day
to ourselves.
Leonard, I think to make
somebody's dream come true.
Way ahead of you, pal.
- Fetch!
Excuse me?
That's my dream. You know...
a guy and his dog,
the beach, the stick...
tlhe waves. tlhe waten.
SPO T. Ulh. Leonand...
I tlhink we Ihave
sliglhtly diffenent dneams.
We do? What's your dream?
Well, heh heh heh...
I guess maybe I should've
mentioned it earlier...
but see, there was this...
...and changed to that...
...and concerned...
And that's the real reason
I had to come to Florida.
Oh. I get it.
I thought you came
to be with me...
but you really just came
for the ride.
No, I did come
to be with you...
and for the ride.
Aw, please, Lenny!
I gotta have a shot
at my dream.
I don't know.
It all sounds so wacko.
Anyway, you're not supposed
to be a boy.
You're supposed to be my dog.
Oh, don't give me the eyes.
No, not the sad walk away.
Forget it. No.
Oh, all right.
We'll find this Dr. Krank guy.
But as soon as you see
that I'm right and he's nuts...
we'll march right back here...
you'll be a dog,
I'll throw a stick...
and we'll make
my summer dream come true!
Good boy.
WOMAN ON TV. Juan.
MAN ON TV. Mancia.
Juan!
Mancia!
Oh, the pathos and agony...
of two beautifully
coiffed people in love!
Yeah, yeah,
been there, seen that.
What else is on?
Today. a "Banny Angen Slhow"
exclusive follow-up...
We return the spotlight
to that wacko scientist...
who claims
he can turn animals human-
Dr. Ivan Krank!
Wacko, wacko, wacko!
Jolly, that's the guy
Spot went to see!
But why is Barry Anger returning
the spotlight to that wacko?
Why, you ask, am I returning
my spotlight to that wacko?
I'll let Officer White...
of the Okeebachokee Bureau
of Animal Safety explain.
Dr. Ivan Krank
is a dangerous fraud.
His experiments did not
turn animals human at all.
They turned them into hideous,
weird mutations like this!
- Aaah!
- Ohhh!
- We have to go to Florida!
- Why?
To keep Spot
from being turned into that!
Ohhh!
This is no time to stand around
screaming silently. Come on!
Florida?! Florida's outside!
I'm an indoor kitty.
I'm s-s-scared
of the o-o-outside.
Snap out of it, hairball!
Come on, dry those whiskers
and listen to me!
You gotta believe
You gotta be strong
You gotta
sharpen your claws
Fluff up your tail,
and sing this fighting song
Small but mighty,
small but mighty
When you're powerful
and wise
You can rise above any size
If you belittle
being little
Then your quest
is doomed to fail
But when you're small
but mighty
The mighty shall prevail
- You gotta persist
- I gotta persist?
- Never say die
- Never say die?
You gotta be fast
and fearless now
And follow this battle cry
Small but mighty
When you're powerful
and wise
You can rise above any size
If you belittle
being little
Then your quest
is doomed to fail
When you're small
but mighty
Small but mighty
When you're small
but mighty
The mighty shall prevail
Onward!
Are you sure you got
Dr. Krank's address right?
Yeah, 666.
Wait! Look!
Wow.
Look at all
the high-techy-tech!
Ah ha ha! I can't stand it!
I'm gonna be a boy
Ooh!
SPO T. 665?
Oh, it must be the next one
down that-a-way.
Heh heh heh.
Florida-
land of surprises.
Trust me, fellas.
It's a great gig.
24-hour a day soaps,
all the food you can eat-
Where else are you gonna
get a deal like that?
Oh, Spot!
And Pretty Boy!
And Mr. Jolly!
Come on in, boys.
There's fresh food
in the kitchen.
Her heart's
in the right place...
but, boy, could she use
a new set of bifocals.
Come on, Jolly, let's roll.
Are we there yet?
Oh!
Small but mighty.
Say it with me, baby!
SPO T. Well. Ihe means business.
This can't be it.
This is it!
After this experiment
succeeds...
the world will never again
call me wacko!
And that includes you...
Mommy!
Uhh!
I have done it!
Success, at long last!
I have taken a frog,
and made it...
Moo.
I have failed again.
See? He's nuts.
It doesn't work.
Come on, let's go.
Well, of course
it doesn't work on a frog.
Hello? It's a lower life form.
Moo.
- No offense.
- None taken.
Dennis! Adele!
Get in here now...
and help me destroy
this stupid, worthless machine!
Don't call it stupid, Daddy.
You made us with it.
And where is the glory in that?
And don't call me Daddy!
You are not my children.
You're nothing but a couple
of mutant swamp creatures...
who do nothing but remind me
of my life of failure!
Just 'cause you're
having a bad day...
is it really necessary
to dump on everyone else?
Yes, we may be failures,
but we're failures who love you.
Out of my way,
you walking handbag!
SPO T. Um. Ihello?
Who is that?
Heh.
Jeez, he looked
a lot shorter on TV.
Maybe it's the ax.
Allow me to introduce myself.
I am Scott Leadready ll,
your newest subject.
The one that's
finally going to work!
Dare you torment an old man?
- You cannot help me!
- Aah!
You're nothing but
a worthless boy!
You're wrong, Dr. Krank.
I am a dog who wants
to be a worthless boy.
I mean, who wants to be a boy.
Good Lord,
I was totally fooled.
Don't worry.
Happens all the time.
Now, here's your problem
as I see it, doc.
While your theories
are scientifically sound...
and your equipment
technically flawless...
you keep hitting
a failure point...
when it comes to the selection
of your subjects.
See, you've been experimenting
on swamp creatures...
insects, and, uh, reptiles.
And all-ee-gators!
All-ee-gators are reptiles.
Proceed.
Mm-hmm. But the fact is,
Dr. Krank...
if you want to make a man...
you've got to start
with a mammal!
Yes. Of course. It's so simple,
and yet so utterly brilliant!
Ha ha ha!
I wish I had a nickel
for every time I've heard that.
I shall give you
a nickel...
if you will be my mammal.
I'll take it!
Then I shall make you a boy.
Oh, boy!
Oh, no!
Spot, this is wrong.
Tlhis is going against natune.
Nature? Feh!
I am a man of science!
You're a wacko of science!
Who do you think you are?
I'll tell you who I am.
Or, better yet, I'll sing it!
Maestro, a tango,
if you please.
# I was born with a brain #
# That could not be contained #
# So they tortured
and teased me #
# And called me insane #
# It was bad, very bad #
# Even Mom called me mad #
# Any child would go wild
from the pain #
# Raised on rage and defiance #
# I turned my cerebrum
to science #
# I tinkered and toiled
until my beakers all boiled #
# And I built
this amazing appliance #
# Now the whole world
will see #
# The genius in me #
# While I stand
on the shoulders of giants #
# Ha ha ha! #
# I am I, Ivan Krank #
# Just a man
way ahead of his time #
# Allow me to be frank #
# I'm much hipper
than old Dr. Frankenstein #
# I am I, Ivan Krank #
# And you may call me
wacko or weird #
# But you'll have me
to thank #
# When this pup
that you've reared #
# Is no longer wet-nosed,
waggy-tailed, or dog-eared #
# He'll be human,
like you, man #
# The world will all cheer #
# For the genius that is I #
# Ivan Krank #
Let the neuro exchange animal
transformation operation-
or N.E.A.T.O.
for short-
not to be confused with that
stupid teacher award-begin!
No-o-o-o-o!
LEONARD.
Spot. tlhis is wnong!
LEONARD.
You'ne supposed to be my dog.
Then I shall make you a boy.
Oh, it's alive.
It's alive!
That's a good start!
Dennis! Adele!
Remove the bandages,
and let us witness...
what I hath wrought!
Mein gott in himmel.
Whoa.
Daddy did it!
SPO T. I gotta see!
I'm a boy! I'm a boy!
I'm a really big boy.
You're not a boy, Scott.
You're a man.
I'm a man?
I don't understand.
How could I be a man?
Great balls of kibble!
I forgot all about dog-time!
That's right! One human year
equals seven dog years.
- That would make you...
- Don't do the math.
Uh, it's not exactly what
I had planned, but I'm human...
and that's nothing
to shake your tail at.
How can I thank you?
Oh, it will be thanks enough...
that you spend
the rest of your life...
traveling around
the world with me...
as living proof of my genius!
Ah. Well, uh, gee,
fun as that sounds for me...
I'm afraid
I'm gonna have to pass.
I can't spend the rest
of my life with you.
I- I-I live with this guy...
at his house, in his room.
I sleep on the bottom bunk.
Heh. Although,
now that I'm a big, grown man...
with knuckle hair and-
uhh-lower back pain...
that may present
a slight problem.
But we'll cross that bridge
when we come to it.
- Let's go, Leonard!
- No!
Aah!
You're not going anywhere,
my precious man.
I made you, I own you.
You're mine!
Come, Dennis, Adele!
We must begin making plans...
for the Ivan Krank
World Vindication Tour!
First the United Nations,
then my high school reunion.
No, wait!
Nuts!
Over here!
Get down!
Hi, Uncle Ivan!
The bus from East Westland was
a little late, but here I am!
Ian?
Leonard? What are you doing
in my uncle's laboratory?
And who are you, mister...
and why are you all dressed up
like Scott Leadready ll?
Uh, no time to explain,
strange little boy...
I've never met before
in my life.
Ian, can you help us
get out of here?
What'll you give me if I do?
Um, all I've got is this, uh...
slimy old dog chew toy
and a shiny new nickel.
Mm-hmm. Ohh...
holding out on me, huh?
Hey, give me that chew toy!
OK, let's see now.
Decode secret password,
override security check...
bypass concealed alarm cookie,
and... bingo!
Wow!
How did you do that?
Oh, come on. This was easy.
Reprogramming
the queen's toilets...
for a 21-flush salute-
now, that was hard.
- Thanks, Ian.
- Thank you, stranger.
You're welcome, stranger.
Well, as long as I'm here...
Hee hee hee.
Ooh, they'll love this.
Ohh! What's all this, then?
- Ohh!
- Ohh!
Oh, blast that blasted
Waszelewski kid!
Quick, hop in!
- Boo-yah!
- Uhh!
Hmm. I must work out.
Come on, Scott! Scott!
Hey, wait for me!
Old habits die hard.
DR. KRANK. Tlhey've escaped!
Dennis, Adele, find them!
- You betcha!
- Right away, Daddy.
Hmm. Nothing here.
Hmm.
Not in here, you fools.
Out there!
Hunny!
Yes, sir, Daddy.
Uhh!
And don't call me Daddy!
How could a man
as brilliant as I...
have created something
as stupid as them?
I can't believe
they let my dog-man escape!
Oh, don't blame them,
Uncle Ivan. I let 'em go.
Ah! Ian! Ahh!
Ian, my darling nephew...
the only one who ever
truly believed in me.
Welcome to my home!
However, now that
you've ruined everything...
I must ground you
for the rest of the summer.
So go to your room.
Don't come out till Labor Day!
Yes, Uncle Ivan.
Grounded again.
Jeez, I could've saved
a bus ride.
What was I so afraid of
all these years?
The outside is very nice.
Pleasant, even.
One might go so far...
as to say invig-amarating.
- Told ya.
- But we're not going very fast.
How long will it take us
to get to Spot?
Oh, we should start making some
real progress any second now.
Bo-o-o-oard!
Aaaaah!
Man, I'm gettin' hungry.
Yeah, me, too. And if these
pants ride up any more...
I'm gonna be a soprano.
I gotta get me
some new clothes.
- We need to get us some money.
- Yeah, but how?
Whoa!
What?
- That'll do.
- That'll do.
Come on, let's go find that dog
and get us some money!
How?
The twilight bark.
The what?
Uhh!
Oh, we gotta start
renting you...
some more classic
animated movies.
Leonard, the twilight bark...
is tlhat fnee wonldwide
long-distance senven...
tlhnouglh wlhiclh dogs
all oven tlhe wonld...
Ihave been communicating
since tlhe dawn of time.
Now, let's just hope I still
got enough dog left in me.
Awooooo!
MAN IN DISTANCE.
Slhut tlhat dog up!
Hmm. I guess it didn't work.
Oh, no, my human-eared friend?
Yes! Thank you!
I mean... awoooo!
Come on, let's go.
Thank you! Awooo!
Thank you! Awoooo!
Jeez, this could go on all day.
Lady!
Turns out she wasn't
really lost.
She was just, heh, kinda busy.
- DAD. My.
- GIRL. Olh. puppies!
How can we thank you?
Gee, I can think
of a hundred ways.
Oh, uh, I can't give you $100.
- But-
- That's OK, Leonard.
A good deed is its own reward.
You brought back five dogs!
So I'm giving you $500!
All right!
I knew you weren't
a big, fat cheapskate!
I'm sorry. Was that out loud?
- We're rich!
- We're rich!
Come on, bunky.
Let's go eat and buy pants...
and do all the stuff
you can only do...
when you're all grown up
and got $500 to burn!
# Though money may be #
# The root of all evil #
# Money, it might not
buy you love #
# Money won't bring you
happiness #
# Or grow new hair
or cure your stress #
# Or get you to
the pearly gates above #
# But there's a bunch of things
that money can do #
# Put a shirt on your back
and a shine on your shoe #
# When the cash shows up,
I don't say "Boo" #
# I take the money and run #
# 'Cause love can't buy
a fancy car #
# Or fill your tank #
# If you want
the finer things #
# You better break the bank #
# 'Cause if there's one
sure thing that money can do #
# Put the pedal to the metal
when the rent comes due #
# When the money shows up,
baby, don't say "Boo" #
# Just take the money
and run, oh, yeah #
# Take the money and run #
# Go, man, get your stash,
grab your cash #
# Take the money and run #
Mom, Dad, I am a prisoner
in this chamber of horrors!
The whole place is filled
with evil smells...
and moans
and ghastly shrieks!
There's lightning and thunder
and scary bumps in the night!
Come home? No way!
I love it here!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
DR. KRANK. Ian?
How many times must I tell you
to stay off the phone?
I want to call out
for a pizza.
DENNIS. Extna anclhovies
on mine. please!
Dennis! Adele! You're back!
Where is my dog-man?
Before we answer,
could we have our pizza, Daddy?
- Go!
- Aah!
And don't return without him!
And don't call me...
Daddy!
Uhh!
I betcha that little boy...
would've given his dog
some pizza.
Thank God the other mosquitoes
in the swamp can't see me now.
They all laughed at me,
but did I listen?
No, I was going to be
the world's first...
insect-to-human
transformation.
Hmm! And look at me now.
Stuck in the middle-
neither fish nor fowl.
You're also not a goat.
Or a pig.
Or a bucket of marbles.
Whoa-
Ohh, please,
just squish me now.
# Hot diggity dog #
So far this has been
the greatest day of my life!
And I've only been a man
for, what, like, five hours?
Five hours?
Shoot, we promised Mom
we'd be home by 6:00.
Whoa! Was that
just this morning?
Whew! Time sure flies
when you're changing species.
- What time you got?
- Uh, a minute till 6:00.
Let's go!
Wait! We forgot
one really important thing!
What?!
Who are you, sir?
- That.
- Oh, yeah.
Well, I'll tell ya.
I'm, uh...
Well, you certainly
look familiar.
Wait a ding-dang-doodle-doo
minute.
You're not one of
my fellow finalists...
in the Teacher of the Year
competition, are you?
Uh, why, yes. Yes I am.
Uh, I am a teacher.
And a darn good one, too...
who appreciates a fellow
darn good teacher enough...
to come all the way
down here...
to this lovely
Wentawaygo park to say...
"May the best
darn good teacher win. "
Well, isn't that kind of you?
- Honey, where's Scott?
- Uh...
And, uh, that's
the other reason I came.
Uh, to tell you that, uh...
Scott's family called, and he
had to go home after all...
and he needed
a grownup to help...
and I obviously
am a grown-up...
human man person.
Ahh! Obviously.
Ah ha ha!
You know Scott Leadready ll?
Do I know Scott Leadready ll?
Only better
than I know myself, ma'am.
You're pushing it.
Well, any friend
of the Leadreadys...
is a friend of mine.
I'm Mary Lou.
And I'm Scott.
Just like Scott Leadready.
Oh, uh, right. Heh.
Common name.
Lots of Scotts.
Scotts R Us. Heh heh.
But I'm Scott, uh...
- Manly!
- Manning!
It's a hyphenate.
Scott Manly-Manning.
Well, Mr. Manly-Manning,
it's a pleasure to meet you.
Yeah, sorry you gotta
leave so soon.
Great gettin' to know you.
Just a little...
but not too much. Bye.
Leonard! Where did you
park your manners?
Ha ha ha. After all the trouble
Mr. Manly-Manning has gone to...
the least we can do is invite
him in for a cup of coffee.
Coffee?
I've always wanted
to try coffee.
Boy, it's true what they say!
What a beverage!
Who'd believe that little
brown bean from Brazil...
could pack such mellow,
rich-roasting...
good-to-the-last-drop flavor?
By the way...
were you aware that
it was our 26th president-
Theodore "Teddy" Roosevelt-
who originally coined the phrase
"Good to the last drop"?
Little-known fact, but true.
Yes, I think one of my students
mentioned that once.
- I can't remember which one.
- You can't remember which one?
For cryin' out loud,
it's obviously-
Time for you to go now.
What a shame.
Thanks for stopping by.
See you later.
Hey! What's the hurry, junior?
I'm still on
my first cup of joe.
If you don't get outta here,
you're gonna blow it.
You're gonna say something
or do something...
or drink something and just
blow it! Well, see ya!
MARY LOU.
Leonand Amadeus Helpenman...
we don't just put our guests out
the door like the evening trash.
Ohh, now, now, Mary Lou.
Don't be upset with Leonard.
- He's just a boy.
- Oh, come off it!
Mister, you are out of control!
Now, you go straight to your...
curtained-off section
of the Wentawaygo...
until you're ready to rejoin
polite society for dinner!
Ha ha.
Speaking of dinner,
are you hungry?
Hey! I'm always hungry.
I'm a dog... gone hungry guy.
You are so gonna blow it.
Ahh! I couldn't eat
another bite.
Care for a chocolat?
Ohh. Chocolate
is poison for dogs.
I know. Aren't we lucky
we're human?
Yes, we are!
Oh, I'm sorry.
Did you want one?
# Someone has a sweet tooth #
Ahh, what can I say?
Tlhene's sometlhing about
eating unden tlhe stans...
at a table, sitting in a chair,
using a fork...
that just makes everything
taste so good.
Well, to me, it's not the food,
it's the company. Heh heh heh.
I don't know why,
but it's as if...
I've known you
for a very long time.
You'ne just so comfy
to be witlh. like an old slhoe.
Oh, I mean that in a good way.
Hey, nothin' I love more
than an old shoe. Woof!
Uh, to wear, I mean.
Ah ha ha ha ha!
You say the most unusual things.
But I like it.
Golly gosh, I wish there was
someone like you back home.
You do?
Hold that thought.
I'll be right back.
Well, he did drink
a lot of coffee.
Leonard!
You are gonna be so proud of me!
We can stop worrying
how I'm gonna live...
and where I'm gonna sleep...
and how we're gonna
stay together.
I've stumbled upon the answer,
and it doesn't even matter...
that I'm a hairy-knuckled
grownup with back pain.
Ooch!
In fact, it works
to our advantage!
You're kidding!
Of course, I won't be sleeping
at the bottom bunk anymore...
but I promise I'll tuck you in
and tell you a bedtime story...
before I settle in to watch
the 9:00 news with...
Mary Lou.
Who?
You know. Your mom.
Oh, he cleaned his plate
so well.
I can see myself!
I know who Mary Lou is...
but why would you be
watching the news with her?
And why is she dancing around
with your dinner plate?
Unless...
Oh, no!
Oh, yes!
Isn't it perfect?
She likes me,
I've always loved her.
You and I still
get to be together.
Climb up on my lap, sonny boy,
and call me Daddy!
Are you crazy?
You can't be my dad!
You're my dog!
Hey, people change.
Come on, it'll be great.
I'll teaclh you Ihow to slhave.
take you fislhing...
Ihollen at youn
little league coaclh...
wlhen Ihe doesn't
play you enouglh.
Maybe I'll even get ya
a little puppy.
Mister,
you are out of control.
What? You gonna send me
to my room?
I think that's my job, son.
No! No, this is not OK with me.
You have to stop
liking my mom right now!
Oh, in all fairness, son...
I believe Mary Lou should have
something to say about this.
And stop calling her Mary Lou!
And stop calling me son!
I command you, as your master!
Former master, Leonard!
I'm not your dog anymore!
Well, I sure as heck
am not your kid!
So maybe you'd just better
leave me and my mom alone!
You... want me to go?
But... what about us?
You and me?
A friend needs a friend.
That was a different us.
Yeah. I guess it was.
Wait a minute.
Yeah?
I paid for that collar
and dog tag...
with my own allowance.
But...
You don't need 'em.
You said it yourself.
You're not my dog anymore.
# Mrs. Manly-Manning #
# Mrs. Mary Lou Manly-Manning #
# Mrs. Mary Lou
Moira Angela Darling #
# Helperman Manly-Manning #
I'm sorry
I have to interrupt...
this musical moment,
Mary Lou.
I guess I'll never
see you again.
# It's time for me to go #
- # Oh, me, oh, my, oh, no #
- # I've never been so low #
# Oh, where did my dog-man- #
# Go! #
# I gotta go,
I don't know where #
# I only know #
# My former friend
is now my foe #
# He couldn't stand
the status quo #
# I said I'd stay,
but he said no #
# And now, doggone,
this dog is gone #
# I'm movin' on #
# I gotta go! #
# Like a dream,
he was here, and now he's gone #
# He drank my coffee,
ate my candy #
# Dreaming I could stand
by my Manly-Manning man #
# I thought everything
was fine and dandy #
# Why did he go? #
- # I'm gone #
- # Don't go #
# Oh, no,
what have I done? #
- # Oh, no #
- # I kicked him out #
# He took the keys
to freedom #
# Now he's going,
now he's going #
# Now he's gone #
# My lovely dog-man #
# Oh, precious,
pretty dog-man #
# Dear itty-bitty dog
I made a man #
- # Where have you gone? #
- # He took the keys #
# You held the key
to my success #
# I'm no one's pawn #
- # He's gone #
- # Was I a yawn? #
# I'm moving on #
# Find him! #
# Where did you go,
dog-man? #
# We gotta go where
you have gone, Spot #
# We gotta know, dog-man #
# We wanna know
where you have gone, Scott #
# We gotta go there, too #
- # I'm gone #
- # He's going, going #
- # I'm moving on #
- # Here comes the sun #
- # Come on, let's run #
- # You weigh a ton #
# Pardon the pun,
but I am going #
# Without knowing #
# There's a place
where I belong #
# Where he's gone #
# I'm movin' on #
# Where did you go,
dog-man? #
# Where did you go, dog-man? #
# He's gone #
Well, that was strange.
Aaah!
Whoa-
- Aaaah!
- Aaaah!
- Ohh!
- Ohh!
PRETTY BO Y. We made it.
We made it!
Florida at last! I told you
we were small but mighty!
MAN. Helh Ihelh Ihelh.
Missed it by that much.
BO Y. Spot. come Ihene. boy!
Leonard?
Aww...
Now, remember,
Lenny-benny-beanbag...
you're to meet me
at the awards ceremony...
- at 6:00 sharp, you got it?
- Whatever.
Aww, honey-bunny-boombox...
I know you miss your dog
and your best friend...
but we're going home
tomorrow...
and Spot and Scott'll be
there waitin' for you...
and everything's gonna
be peachy-pie normal...
and just the way it was. Mwah!
Right. Just the way it was.
Florida, schmorida!
It's just Jersey
with palm trees!
Well, I suppose most people
don't arrive by garbage truck.
On a more positive note...
I don't think there's anything
in the world...
I'll ever fear after this.
It's a monster!
Hey!
It's just your reflection.
Oh. Aah!
It's me! I look hideous!
No argument there.
I'm goin' up
for a bird's-eye view.
Dog-man!
Where are you?
My, oh, me, it's
a rain-a-roony-doodle day!
Whoo-hoo!
Bada-bing, baby!
Come on, hairball!
Great. Now you're out there
somewhere in the stupid rain...
'cause you just couldn't leave
well enough alone, could you?
No, you had to go
mess up a great thing...
just to make
your stupid dream come true.
Bet you come crawling back
any minute now...
cold and wet
and tired and hungry...
and sick of being a man...
and wishing you could be
my dog again.
Well, forget it!
I'm not taking you back.
Spot!
Ha ha!
Olh. it's you.
"Oh, it's you"?
We traveled 2,000 miles...
and all we get is,
"Oh, it's you"?!
Come on, Jolly, let's go home!
What?!
No, you guys. I'm sorry.
I'm really,
really glad you're here.
I've never needed anyone more.
Now, that's a greeting.
Something's happened to Spot.
Sit down. It's a long story.
So this is what it's like
to be human, huh?
Sittin' alone in a dump
on your tailless butt...
just twiddlin'
your opposable thumbs.
Top of the world, Ma!
Top of the world.
What's that?
Sounds like that stupid song
Leonard always used to sing.
Olh. it is tlhat stupid...
beautiful song!
Oh, Leonard.
# I know it's been said #
# Everyone needs someone #
# A loyal companion #
# To share in life's fun #
# For a day at the park #
# Or a game of leapfrog #
# A friend needs a friend #
# A boy needs a dog #
# A small hand to shake #
# Wanna run a race? #
# For a bowl full of grub #
# What a funny face #
# A face to be licked #
# When a tummy gets rubbed #
# Like a mom and a dad #
# Need their bundle of joy #
# A friend
needs a friend #
# A dog needs a boy #
PRETTY BO Y. SOBBING.
A classic!
Even a bird and a cockamamie cat
can see that!
Yeah. Why couldn't Spot?
I don't know.
I guess we all have
different dreams, right?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
And I guess if you really
love someone...
like I love Spot...
you gotta let him
have his dream, right?
Even if it's different
from your dream, right?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
I know what I've gotta do!
There's only one way
for us to be together again.
I've gotta go to Dr. Krank and
have him change me into a dog!
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
- What?!
- What?!
See ya, guys!
I mean, woof!
- No! Wait!
- No! Wait!
Ow!
# I can't go on #
# With just half of my heart #
# Nothing and no one #
# Can keep us apart #
# It's a permanent bond #
# We can never destroy #
# A friend needs a friend #
- # I've got #
- # A boy #
- # Needs a dog #
- # To get back #
- # Needs a #
- # To my #
- # Dog #
- # Boy #
Bunky, I'm back!
Pretty Boy? Jolly?
What are you doing here?
Who is that strange man,
and why is he talking to us?
I don't know. Just act dumb.
Uh, tweet.
Uhh! Meow, meow, meow.
- Guys, it's me. It's Spot.
- Aah!
Oh, my. This is what
you look like as a man?
Why? Is something
wrong with it?
No, no. It was just
a shock at first.
You could use a shave.
Really? I thought
it was kind of edgy.
But forget that.
Where's Leonard?
Oh, Spot, it's terrible.
He just ran out...
babbling some nonsense about
if you can't be his dog...
then he'll have to get
that Dr. Krank...
to turn him into your dog.
That crazy kid.
Although I guess it could work.
No! No! What am I saying?
I've got to save my boy!
This is perfect-
perfect.
Why, my plan could not
have gone any better...
if I'd had a plan!
And now I do!
I'll turn the boy
into a dog...
use Ihim as bait
to lune tlhe dog-man...
and then I'll have
the man and the dog!
Ah ha! Mommy!
Nothing wacko about that!
Oh, isn't there, Dr. Wacko?
Ah. You're right on cue.
Ohh.
You really should've
seen that coming.
Ohh!
I'm sorry, Scott.
I just wanted us
to be together again.
I did it for us.
No. I'm the sorry one, Leonard.
It's all my fault.
I shouldn't have messed
with nature.
Oh, haven't you heard?
My good man, nature is dead.
Science is king!
Oh, that is just wrong
on so many levels.
Well, then riddle me this,
Dr. Krank.
Is it science on natune...
that makes you have to laugh...
when someone tickles you
under the armpits?
Pretty Boy, Jolly.
Stop it, you guys!
You keep him busy.
I'll take care of Krank.
You're too late.
No!
Whoa! Whoa!
Aah!
Oh, my goodness.
What? What is it?
Do I got spinach in my teeth?
Stop! Wait!
- Oh! Aah!
- Aah!
You are one butt-ugly man.
Well, I've been under
a little stress lately.
Whoa!
Hey!
Hey! Whoa! What's happened?
Uh-oh.
Olh. dann.
Wait a minute.
I've still got this.
Thank you, Dr. Krank!
No, no, you fool!
Quarters only!
A nickel will jam it!
You'll blow us all up!
That's a chance
I'll have to take.
Say auf wiedersehen...
- Aah!
- Wacko.
Aah!
Uhh!
Cool.
No! No! Help!
Uhh!
Oh, well. To quote
the immortal Bard...
which I don't believe I've yet
done in this entire adventure...
"All's well that end's well. "
LEONARD. Scott! Look out!
Quick! We got to get out
before it blows!
You go. There's one more thing
I've got to do.
It's my only chance.
Scott, what are you doing?
Scott! Scott!
Oh, Scott.
Stupid machine!
Stupid, stupid science!
Wake up, dear blue Spot.
Wake up.
SPO T. Olh. is tlhat you.
dean Blue Fainy?
How many times
I got to tell you, dog breath?
I ain't no fairy!
Spot? Is it really you?
In the fur.
Oh, Spot, you're back!
I had to come back, bunky.
I love ya,
and I want to be with ya.
Don't you remember?
Cue the violins.
# A friend needs a friend #
Everybody sing!
# A boy needs a... #
# Back on the south end
of the leash #
# Is where my place is #
# Chasing cars
and licking faces #
# A simple mutt
livin' a dog's life #
# Now I'm in the thrall
of nature's call #
# It's my destiny to be
man's best friend #
# And to bite
your own rear end #
# And so it's buh-bye
to species second guessing #
# This Rover's
learned his lesson #
# I'm proud to be a dog #
# The breed of Fido
can't be denied-o #
# Glad to be a dog #
# And dog enough to beg #
# A dog you must be #
# I'll be spot-on #
- # Because at last I see #
- Shh!
# That a tree needs a mom #
# And a sow needs a hog #
- # Just like London needs fog #
- # Or a princess a frog #
# Well, a friend
needs a friend #
# A road needs a bend #
# A film needs an end #
# A boy needs a dog #
# Needs a boy, needs a dog #
# Needs a boy, needs a dog,
needs a boy, needs a dog #
# Boy, dog, boy, dog, boy,
dog, boy, dog, boy #
# Dog #
Woof!
Hey!
Teacher's pet
I wanna be teacher's pet
I wanna be huddled
and cuddled
As close to you
as I can get
Mm-hmm, teacher's pride
I wanna be teacher's pride
I wanna be dated,
paraded
The one most likely
at your side
I'm burning to learn
I wanna learn all
your lips can teach me
One kiss
will do at the start
I'm sure
with a little homework
I'll graduate to your heart
Teacher's pet
I wanna be teacher's pet
Teacher
I wanna take home a diploma
And show Ma
that you love her, too
I hope you love me, too
So I can be teacher's pet
Long after school
is through
Ah ah ah
I wanna be, I gotta be
I wanna, I gotta
I wanna learn
all your lips can teach me
One kiss will do
at the start
I'm sure
with a little homework
I'll graduate to your heart
I'll graduate
to your heart
To your heart
I'll graduate to your heart
I wanna be
I've got to be
Teacher's pet, teacher
I wanna be
T- t-t-teacher's pet,
teacher
I've got to be, I want it
I want it, I want it,
I want it
I wanna be
t- t-t-teacher's pet
I've got to be
teacher's pet
I wanna be
teacher's pet
I wanna take home
a diploma
And show ma
that you love me, too
Yeah, so I can be
teacher's pet
Teacher
I wanna be teacher's pet
I wanna be
teacher's pet
Long after school
is through
I wanna, I gotta
Teacher's pet
I wanna be, I gotta be
Teacher's pet
I wanna, I gotta
Teacher's pet
I gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta
be teacher's pet
I've got to be
teacher's pet
I wanna, wanna be
teacher's pet
Long after school
Is through
Yeah
Mambo
La la la, la la
La la la la la
La la la la la-la
Mambo
La la la, la la
Mambo
Hot diggity dog
Ooh ooh ooh
Yeah, yeah
Ooh, dig that dog
Hot diggity dog
Bow wow wow
Bow wow
Wow wow
Ooh, dig that dog
Dog, boy, dog, boy,
doggy, boy, dog
Boy, dog, boy, dog,
boy, doggy, boy
Boy, dog, boy, dog,
here, doggy, boy
Dog, boy, doggy, boy,
diggity-dog, boy
- Dog, boy
- Boy, dog
- Boy, dog
- Dog, boy
Hot, hot,
hot diggity dog
Yeah, hot diggity dog
Ooh, dig that dog
Hot diggity dog
Though money may be
The root of all evil
Money,
it might not buy you love
Money won't bring you
happiness
Or grow new hair
or cure your stress
Won't get you
to the pearly gates above
But there's a bunch of things
that money can do
Put a shirt on your back
and a shine on your shoe
When the cash shows up,
I don't say "Boo"
I take the money
and run
'Cause love
can't buy a fancy car
Or fill your tank
If you want
the finer things
You'd better
break the bank
'Cause if there's one sure
thing that money can do
Put the pedal to the metal
when the rent comes due
When the money shows up,
baby, don't say "Boo"
Just take the money
and run
Oh, yeah,
take the money and run
Go, man, grab your stash,
get your cash
We're gonna have a bash
Take the money and run