Everybody down!
You move, you die!
I said down!
Don't even think about it, rent-a-cop.
- Get down! I said, get down!
- Nobody move! Get down!
Where's the money you picked up,
rent-a-cop?
Where? I know it's here!
Eagle 40419er.
This is Eagle 4.
Hostage situation at the Sir Save-A-Lot
on Lankershim and Cahuenga.
I'm on my way.
Eagle 4 out.
Enough talk! Give me
what I want or people die!
You better hope to God
you didn't call for backup,
'cause I will paint the walls
with these people's brains.
No more talk!
I know you're stalling.
You have no idea what
you're dealing with, pig.
Give me what I want, now!
Take the rest of the day off.
All right, let's have it.
Who the fuck are you
and what do you want?
- Your demands, what are they?
- Are you stalling me?
I already told the other guy.
Well, I just relieved the other guy,
so you'll be dealing with me now.
Let me spell it out for you.
According to my department policy,
I'm supposed to ask for your demands,
try and meet them
and make sure nobody gets hurt.
Well, follow your policy, then.
Yeah, but seeing as you're
a little slow on the uptake
I think we'll just storm the place,
beat the shit out of you punks,
and throw your asses in jail.
- What do you think about that?
- What?
I'm asking if you want to do this
the easy way or the hard way.
What?
You got one of those
hearing impediments, son?
You know what?
You had your chance, we're coming in.
Oh shit. Shit!
They're coming in.
Heads up!
They're coming in!
I'll blow this motherfucker's head off!
I swear to God!
- Drop it now!
- OK, OK, OK!
Hands where I can see 'em!
Look! Slowly.
My weapon, my weapon.
One more fucking step
and he gets it!
Putting it down, putting it down.
Put it down!
- Down! Now!
- OK, OK, OK.
All right, nice and slow.
All right, two fingers.
- The pistol!
- All right.
Shit. Oh shit!
Oh! That?
Just a little noise. Are we good?
The fucking rifle, cowboy!
Put it down!
This is not a rifle,
this is Daisy.
She's a BB gun.
What?
Vintage Red Rider, 1965,
got it for Christmas,
so she's kind of
a good luck charm.
- So I can't give her up.
- A BB gun?
Good job well done.
More of the public
protected and served.
And more bad guys
off our streets.
All right, what is this?
LAPD SWAT public service announcement?
Can be, boss. Can be.
So what are you gonna say
for your speech, Hunt?
What speech?
You know, the one where we're all
awarded the "officer of the year. "
Oh, that speech.
I'd sincerely like to
thank the people of LA
for trusting us with
automatic weapons,
and I'd also like to thank
the mayor for allowing us -
Allowing us
to drive at twice the speed limit
that time you had to take a piss.
Remember that?
That was major.
All right, folks,
knock it off, knock it off.
This is serious business.
Chief wants to see us
after our shift.
For real?
Today was our 30th
successful mission.
Chief probably recognized that
and wants to talk to us about it.
You're damn right.
Just remember, when the Chief
pats you on the back,
stand up straight,
look the man in the eyes,
tell him that you're
honored to serve.
What, did you think
you were in Baghdad?
Some kind of TV shoot-out?
I got dead thieves.
I got wounded hostages!
I got a store manager in the hospital
with a concussion
from a flying steak!
What the fuck is that?
I got an armored-car guard
with a broken pelvis.
And I got a national food chain
suing the department
for a quarter of a million
in property damage
caused by LAPD SWA in less than ten fucking minutes!
What you got to say
for yourselves, God damn it?
Uh, we rescued
all the hostages.
How would you like a nice cup
of shut the fuck up, Sergeant Hunt?!
I'm told you...
discharged a Red Rider BB gun
into the forehead of one of the robbers.
Sergeant Hunt, since when did
the Los Angeles Police Department
start issuing Daisy BB guns
to its SWAT team?!
Chief, as team leader,
I accept full responsibility.
For what?
For charging a hostage
like a raped Cape buffalo?
For exploding his left testicle,
and swelling his asshole shut
to the point where he needs
machinery to pass shit?!
Oh, I'm sorry, excuse me,
is this the funny squad now?
Am I amusing you motherfuckers?
Let me tell you cowboys
what's in store for you.
You are all immediately suspended
and placed on unpaid leave.
You will all, immediately,
as in tomorrow,
report for mandatory retraining,
where you will run hostage
recovery drills all day long
until you can figure out
how to recover hostages
without killing their captors,
and causing hundreds of thousands
of dollars in property damage!
Fuck!
I've also taken the liberty
of booking you clowns
a class with the feds,
to further your higher learning.
Dismissed!
And I'll be checking up
on all your asses!
...therefore causing
harm to the hostage,
as well as to the captor
and possibly
to innocent bystanders.
Now, in these situations
we always prefer to talk,
to negotiate, not to go in
with guns blazing...
Just like the academy, huh?
Isn't that correct, Captain Tate?
Yes, sir, that's correct.
Really?
Yes, sir. You got it.
Yeah, I think so, that's right.
June 1998, Atlanta, Georgia.
A lone gunman,
Clarence Lee Boyer...
Ever notice how these criminals
have three names all the time?
...breaks into a daycare centre,
takes 16 children hostage.
Now, the hostage negotiators
have Mr. Boyer on the phone,
they also have his sole demand,
$10,000, on hand.
Correct technique
to use in this case...
Present.
...would have been?
- Hunt.
The correct technique would be
to breach from the rear,
throw in a concussion grenade, and take
him out at close range with a shotgun.
Uh, this is a daycare full
of children, Sergeant Hunt.
You're an idiot.
The man said it's a daycare
full of children.
I say you go in with an M4
and shoot around the little bastards.
I think you're all, uh,
missing the sensitivity of the situation.
The hostage negotiator
has the money the man wants,
the gunman has agreed
to release the kids.
It's sensitive because
of the kids, guys.
You never go in with a flashbang grenade
in a room full of children.
- What the hell is wrong with you?
- Exactly, so you would...
Use tear gas.
You breach the door,
you throw it in,
you wait till they're all gasping
and then you take out the shooter
'cause the kids are here
and the guy is there.
I think you're all
missing the point here.
Are you guys out of your minds?
See, this is exactly
why the Chief's pissed off.
Big guy's gonna talk.
All right.
Now the hostages are kids, right?
- Mm-hm.
- Right.
Now the negotiator
has the money on hand, right?
- Yeah.
- Yes.
Now dude says he'll come out
if he gets his cash, right?
- He's gonna come out peacefully.
- Right.
So then the solution
to the problem would be?
Anybody?
The solution to the problem
would be to breach
from the rear,
throw in a flashbang,
and a tear gas
because you can
never be too sure.
Then you come in with an M4
and you shoot the sumbitch.
The parts you guys seem
to forget all the time
is to bring lollipops
and blankets for the kids.
- Am I right or am I right?
- That's it, that's it.
- That's why he's the captain!
- That was it, that was it.
Now am I right or am I right?
- I rest my case.
- Amen.
Tate, that's it,
I mean it's all in here, it's all in here.
I mean, right here. Yeah, man.
The lollipop section.
OK, all right, all right.
Argh! My suit.
OK, let's start from the beginning.
OK, I know
you hid it here.
Now, you can tell me where it is,
or you can die right now.
And I will use the time
I waste in talking to you
to find the item myself.
I'm sorry,
I don't understand.
Oh, llya,
loose this little tickler.
I said, watch my fucking suit, man,
all right?
Shall I cut his tongue out?
- Do it.
- No! J-Just wait!
Uh... C-Can we just
talk about this?
Oh, Kenny,
we are talking.
You see, your lips are moving
and words are coming out.
We are talking.
OK, OK.
I want you to listen carefully. OK?
I know you hid my property here.
I just don't know where.
So... you are going
to find it for me...
or I will make sure Ilya does
what Ilya does best -
butchering.
Yeah, uh...
there's a problem.
- Oh really?
- Yeah.
You know your buddies,
the Italians?
Well, they also know
the item is here.
And how would they
know that, Kenny?
You little cockroach.
My gut told me
I needed insurance.
You faggot! Move it!
- Hey, watch my suit.
- Hurry!
Ilya, move the car inside.
Well, I guess a little
mountain air could be good.
Well, won't I be pulling the Chief's boot
out of my ass for the next week.
I don't think I've ever
seen him that mad.
Yeah, some commendation.
- Well, it could be worse.
- Wait for it.
Mall security at the galleria?
At least Blanco has a whole
lot of steaks to throw.
- It was a fillet mignon.
- Yeah, what's the difference?
A fillet mignon only
includes the tenderloin.
A porterhouse includes
the bone and some strip loin.
What are you, a fucking butcher?
I was gonna be,
before I went to the academy.
Well, congratulations. You have a keen
grasp of bovine anatomy. I'm happy for you.
Yeah, a 1200-pound steer only
has 4 to 6 pounds of tenderloin.
It's non-weight-bearing muscle.
- That's why it's so tender.
- Now I'm hungry. Fuck you.
They usually cut it
into more or less round pieces,
about the size of a baseball.
Well, it worked,
whatever it was.
Thank you.
Why the hell are we headed
out to the sticks?
Something about us
not being able to damage anything.
- What you looking at, Pocahontas?
- These are recent.
You can tell all that
from all that?
Yeah, these are Michelin Pilot Sports,
Car needs an alignment,
pulls a little to the right.
Half tank of gas,
and the driver weighs
over 220 pounds.
Really?
Naw, I'm just fucking
with you.
No, but a car has been
through here not too long ago.
Son of a... bitch!
What's wrong with you?
Thank you.
So, pretty nice, huh?
Oh yes, I love what you've
done with the place.
- Now, let's go find the item.
- All right. Yeah.
Sure, yeah, I'll get it,
but, uh, you stay here.
Kenny, you know, I was born at night,
but it was not last night.
OK? I'm not letting you
out of my sight.
You made a rhyme there. Yeah.
Well, fuck it. I'm not getting you the item
to only get popped.
Well, then it would appear
we are upon the horns of a dilemma.
Look, you're just wasting time.
I'm sure the Italians are on their way.
Ilya?
OK, I'll get it. All right.
But she comes with. You stay.
She... She comes with?
Yeah, yeah,
she comes with me, but, uh...
no weapons.
Kenny, look at her.
She could kill you
with her bare hands.
Well, I would just feel more comfortable
if she came with me and you waited here.
Suit yourself.
All right.
All right, so which one is it?
There's a million of 'em.
I'm thinking it's the one up there
with the door open.
Nuh-uh-uh. All of them.
Tsssk!
All right, take off your coat.
All right, turn around.
There, are you happy now?
- Actually, I'm not.
- Oh, my!
She could still snap your neck like a twig.
Now get moving!
- OK, what now?
- Easy. Pull inside.
- Fuck!
- Stop the fucking car!
Stop the fucking car!
Don't go any further!
I'm sorry, friend!
We, uh...
we have this place
for the next couple of hours.
Maybe I'll just pick up a little something
that belongs to me
and be on my way, then.
How's that sound?
I am not sure that's
going to be possible.
- Kenny.
- Hi!
- You motherfucker!
- Whoa! Hey, hey, hey!
- Be cool, man!
- One more move!
This fucker's mine, all right?
Now back the fuck down!
I think that is going
to be a problem.
Hey, you.
Mr. Uh... Potty Mouth.
Let's say you and me, we have
a little, uh, powwow, hmm?
Lose the gun.
OK.
I mean, what would have been better?
A KO from a steak
or two in the head
from a robber?
- It was a tenderloin.
- Whatever.
You know what he means.
Now the only thing
I'm shooting at is paper.
At least we can have some fun.
Hit the siren.
- Are you happy now?
- Yeah, I like the sirens.
Look, I don't know
who the fuck you are...
but that son of a bitch stole something
that belongs to me
and I want his ass now.
I'm sorry, you cannot have
that son of a bitch.
- And why the fuck not?
- He's my business associate.
Yeah.
Your business associate, huh?
It's here, isn't it?
I don't know what
you're talking about.
Oh, yes, you do.
You're a really bad fucking liar.
What did you say?
Allow me to clarify.
How would you like my size 12
all up in your ass.
I am sorry, I am trying to quit having things
shoved all in my ass.
Oh fuck.
It's the fucking cops.
You brought the fucking cops
with you?
I didn't bring the fucking cops with me!
You brought the fucking cops!
Who the fuck did?
Kenny, I swear to God,
if you brought the fucking cops here
I will rip off your balls
and I will shove them up your ass!
- Fuck.
- OK!
- We need to lay low.
- Fuck that shit. I ain't laying low here.
- What do we do?
- We get out of here right now.
No! You cannot leave! They will see you
leaving. That will put us all in danger.
All right, all right! G-Get in the fucking
back corner, all right?
Maybe if we're lucky
they'll just drive by us, OK?
- Do it!
- What?
Ilya, fucking do it!
Come on, get in the fucking car!
Get the fucking cars back now!
- Nice, real nice.
- You think?
No need for damage control here.
How we get stuck
with this dump?
Came up when the jarheads moved out.
All right, let's get
this show on the road.
No, no, no, Hunt. Daisy's got to
stay here this time.
All right, believe it or not,
our esteemed Chief has requested
I bring back the paper targets.
Clearly indicating that we did not shoot, kill,
destroy, or decimate one single hostage.
I intend to move quickly through this drill
and keep it short and sweet.
But first, a demonstration.
This beady-eyed fucker -
that's a bad guy.
Hostage, hostage,
fucking bad guy. Got it?
One more time.
Hostage, hostage, bad guy?
- Bad guy, hostage, hostage.
- I'm sorry, I...
I want a demonstration,
one more.
Fuck me. Sounds like
they stopped outside.
Yeah, the van stopped,
that's for sure.
I thought you said
they would drive by.
How the fuck was
I supposed to know?
I said, if we're lucky
they might drive by.
Apparently, we ain't so lucky.
- All right, you all got it?
- Yup.
- Yup.
- Where's the frozen-food aisle?
Move out, stack up
on that door.
We better get goin'.
He's gonna shoot me
before this is over.
How you doing back there?
Lonely.
So, anything else I should know
about this place?
Like what?
Who the fuck's upstairs
that the cops want?
What the fuck is this place? Crime Central?
Just calm down. Lay low.
They just might pass us by.
Don't get too comfortable, Vladi,
'cause I ain't done with you after they leave.
OK, so save it for then.
'Cause no one is doing anything
until they are gone.
- You flippin' maggot.
- Who, me?
Yeah, you.
If I get outta here alive,
I'm gonna make damn sure you don't.
So is that suit like
a poly-cotton blend or -?
- Don't fucking touch me, man!
- Shut the fuck up!
Be ready, in case they decide
to sweep the building.
All right, folks, I thought that was
a pretty good run.
Jannard, you're a little slow
on phase two.
Need to cover our exit
a little bit better.
Move your ass, bitch.
Yo, that was Blanco
bringing up the rear.
- D'you wanna run this again?
- What?
Yup, let's change it up this time.
Let's take five and then
we'll get back to it.
They just shot the shit
out of somebody up there.
Hey, uh, gorgeous, what do you say
when this thing is all over, you and I,
- we can get together, we can -
- I'd rather die.
Die? Hey, baby, I would crawl
a mile through broken glass
just to eat the peanuts
out of your shit.
Hey, OK, all right, sorry,
that wasn't cool.
I'm just, you know... I'm just trying to, like,
levitate the situation, is all.
How about that corner over there?
No, let's not go there.
We'll call that out of bounds.
Let's come around the reverse way this time
into that other section.
- Hey, would you look at that?
- What?
Your eyes, they're so beautiful.
- Do you got any Italian in you?
- No!
You want some?
Oh shit.
I thought we had this joint
to ourselves.
You fucking bitch!
I'll teach you some manners.
Enough of this, God damn it!
Both of you!
Blanco, go tell whoever's down there
this place is off limits until two.
Copy that.
Next time, tell the Chief
not to double-book us.
Duly noted. Move out.
'Cause I'm about
to shoot somebody.
Come on! I love it!
Huh!
OK, all right, all right.
Kenny, I will shoot your ass
through ten times
before you fucking escape,
you hear me?
I don't give a damn
who hears me.
- Stop it! Damn it!
- Creep!
Fucking rotten bitch.
Say one more word.
Anything, I dare you.
I'd rather go to jail for life than hear you
say one more fucking word.
Enough already! Fuck!
What the fuck is wrong with you?
We got an entire
SWAT team upstairs.
Not the time.
So not the fucking time.
Now, you better
hope to God...
that they didn't hear your little
"wake the dead" shit just now, all right?
Now, all of you,
just stand the fuck down
and go back to your corners until
this whole thing blows over, all right?
All right?
I feel so scolded.
- Shut the fuck up.
- Hello?
Oh shit.
Hello?
Hello?
Put the silencer on.
Hey!
Whoever's there,
you gotta move this shit.
What the fuck?
Hey...
Fuck.
That's how it's done.
Now, that is sexy.
- Oh, my God.
- Jeez!
Hey, I didn't know
he was gonna shoot.
He's wearing a vest, you stupid fuck.
Now we're all dead.
Wow, you must be, like,
the professional, or something.
Precision is your specialty.
That's enough from you.
As for the rest of ya'll,
prepare for a fire fight.
Let's do it.
Uh, I have a nose bleed.
What now?
Yeah, what now?
Simunition.
Simunition.
Simunition?
What the fuck is that?
Not fucking bullets.
Got the same thing here.
Hold on a second. Why would he
be carrying a gun with no bullets?
They're training, dumb fuck.
- With blanks?
- Not blanks.
Paintball training rounds.
Well, that changes
everything now, doesn't it?
I say we kill them all.
We just killed a policeman,
and the only people who can
do anything about it
are firing blanks.
I don't see any other way
out of this cluster fuck.
You can't be serious.
You got any other ideas?
We got a dead cop -
Quiet.
Showtime.
Yo, man! Where you at?
Blanco, quit fucking the dog!
Yo, Blanco!
Blanco, you OK?
I'm afraid not.
Freeze!
Put your hands where
I can see 'em. This is LAPD.
- Put the gun down!
- OK, I don't think so.
So, uh, let me explain how
this is all going to go down, huh?
On your knees, asshole!
Very convincing. Almost, er,
like it was, sort of, Cops.
One of my favorite shows
I watch in syndication.
I especially like the part
where they all burst in, all angry,
yelling "Get up! Get down!"
Dogs barking, very confusing.
Fuck you!
That's pretty.
Now, unless this is
the new humane LAPD...
I'm gonna take a wild guess that you clowns
got your training wheels on today.
Am I right or am I right?
So I'm gonna explain how
this is gonna go down.
You see, we accidentally knocked off
your partner here and, uh...
I know that y'all gonna be
real pissed about that.
Hell, I know I'd be pissed. Shit.
See, that leaves us
with a little bit of a problem.
I can't let y'all go without, uh,
compromising my own security.
Can't do nothing down here.
On my mark,
fly back through those doors.
- You're gonna have to die.
- Now!
Fuck!
Where the fuck did this
fucking door come from?
Ilya, go around back,
cut off their exit!
Storato, go with her!
- What the fuck?
- What the fuck is this shit?
What the fuck
just happened?
Blanco's dead.
Who are these guys?
They're fucking dead,
I promise you that.
Let's move out and get help.
Let's see if we can see
the truck from here.
Get down!
Where's the fucking case, Kenny? Huh?
That's why I'm here,
that's why he's here
and that's why you're here.
Now, I'm gonna ask you
one last time...
where is the fucking case?!
Huh?
- Where's the fucking case?
- What case?
- Get the fucking case, Kenny!
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Abu Ghraib, he can't
talk if he's dead, huh?
Well, if he hadn't
stole it from me...
He didn't steal it from you.
I stole it from you.
- What'd you say?
- I stole it from you.
And he stole it from me.
Motherfuck. I ought to
shoot your ass right now.
Before you get all pious,
ask yourself, uh,
who you stole it from?
That's none of
your damn business.
Kenny, where is
the fucking case?
It's in there.
- Oh fuck.
- You're fucking kidding me.
We need to get
some people on this.
All right, here's what we know.
The door we just came
through is the only exit.
We gotta get
to the truck.
I can see the truck from here.
Looks like 30 feet down.
Hey, got a couple
dozen feet of paracord?
We're effectively unarmed.
Anyone got a phone?
In the truck.
- Any live ammo?
- Truck.
Everything's in
the fucking truck.
How many grenades
you got there?
A couple flashbangs.
- Concussions?
- Negative.
All right, that's a shitty start.
- And this shit's fucking useless.
- What do you wanna do?
We're gonna do what we always do -
take care of business.
Boss, we're surrounded.
That's bad news for them.
What the fuck is
taking them so long?
Relax.
Little buddies upstairs
ain't going nowhere.
And, thanks to Kenny,
neither are we.
You know, you should really
try some breathing exercises
for your stress relief
or something.
You know,
just by looking at you,
I can tell that your blood pressure
is probably through the roof
and your arteries are as hard as the secret
hard-on that you carry in your pants for me.
- Shut the fuck up!
- OK, no more beating of Kenny. OK?
When we find item, then...
then you go to town.
No, that's all right,
I forgive him.
He's Italian,
he's born that way.
- What?
- Yeah, it's an Italian thing.
He's got this whole built-in
inner rage thing going.
I think I read somewhere
that it's genetic.
Italians are known to be very volatile,
kind of like Mount Vesuvius,
or maybe it's more like Mount Etna, since
Vesuvius hasn't erupted since Pompeii.
Either way,
I gotta take a piss.
You want to see Vesuvius?
Huh? Huh?
I'll show you Vesuvius,
motherfucker.
Are you saying this man
is actually Italian?
- Yeah.
- What?
I am saying,
do you own a mirror?
A black man can't be from Italy? Huh?
I was born in Rome, bitch. Rome.
You obviously ain't heard
of Kobe Bryant.
Yes, you're right,
I- I believe it.
You have taught me many things today.
I appreciate that.
Perhaps we should become
Facebook friends, yeah?
I'm on Facebook.
Ah! There she is.
Yeah, Red Leader! This is
Piggy Leader, do you copy?
You're not gonna be
needing this anymore!
Huh, gorgeous?
Oh, check it out!
Hey, Captain!
Live.
There are four
cell phones here.
All of their live ammo is here too.
What the fuck?
Backup ain't coming for these guys.
That's for damn sure.
No, but it is here for us.
Hey, Demetrius.
- How's your mother?
- She is well.
She asks about you
all the time.
There she is. Ha!
Enough of the fucking
family reunion.
Can we get on with
this shit already?
Who is this pista?
We'll explain later.
Come.
What do you want
to do now?
Make a call.
What you think?
They are armored
blast doors, Demetrius.
Is not designed for security.
Cut off steel plate,
door falls like
former Soviet Union.
- Can you do it?
- Sure.
Take a couple of hours.
No, that's
too much time.
They're gone,
and so is the truck.
Fuck.
- So what's the new plan?
- It's a classic siege.
They got the truck. They know damn well
we got no communication, no live ammo.
All they have to do is wait.
We gotta get the fuck
out of this building, ASAP.
This way much easier.
Put up ladders,
climb in windows,
take out all resistance.
Do it.
Potential for casualties
is much higher.
They may resist our
charge up the ladder.
I assure you...
they are unarmed.
They called in backup.
They're coming up?
Well, think about it, what's the easiest way
to get up here?
You gonna waste your time on those doors?
It would take too long.
All they need to do is lay down
some suppress fire,
pop a ladder up,
and get two guys in here
and boom, we're done.
So what's the plan?
I got something for their ass.
We cannot waste
any more time.
We must send Vladimir
and his men up and put them down.
Oh, these guys are making me
nervous, man.
- Yeah, no shit.
- We are seriously outgunned here.
Who the fuck do you think is gonna get
that case when we get in there?
It's not gonna be us.
That's why I called in our man.
When the fuck is he
gonna be here?
Soon.
Let our little friends here
waste their men getting in there.
We have Kenny,
and he knows where the case is.
Right now, we need
all the help we can get.
As soon as they are in,
poof, they all disappear.
So that's all you're gonna say?
"I got something for their ass. "
Care to give me
the whole plan?
No.
- Demetrius, we're ready.
- Good.
I leave it to you, then.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Who's watching Kenny?
Well, one of these guys will be,
after they boost him up.
It's not a problem.
I tied him to the truck myself.
Good.
All right, I want you to lock
the door behind me.
What?
Just do it, God damn it.
We don't have all day.
Come on.
Well, why the fuck
ain't they shooting, man?
I don't know,
maybe they are hiding.
- What is he doing?
- I have no fucking idea.
- What the fuck?
- I'll go check it out.
- No, no, no! Hey!
- You gotta cover the door.
Pay attention.
They could be anywhere.
I'm good. I'm good.
Argh!
Stay down!
Nice suit.
Thank you.
- I swear I heard two shots.
- I did not hear anything.
Who the fuck are you?
Hey, those guys -
Get out of
the way!
- They kidnapped me.
- Sit down!
They're gonna kill me, all right?
There they are.
They're coming!
Kenny! What -?
Take 'em down!
- Kenny, you cockroach!
- Shoot them!
Hey! Open up!
- Open up!
- Open the door!
Aargh!
Fuck me!
Fuck!
Shit.
- Where's Jannard?
- Upstairs.
Who's this guy?
I'm Kenny.
Argh!
Send a bitch to do a man's job.
You're right, they did send
a bitch to do a man's job.
Oh shit.
Do something, do something.
Excuse me,
do you speak English?
Is he dead?
What do you think?
Stop.
Get up the stairs.
Bitch.
You know, it was your armpit
that killed him.
Bruce Lee would have been
proud of that shit.
- Let's get the fuck outta here.
- You all right?
Uh-huh.
Thanks, boss.
Kenny!
Kenny!
You've eaten your last meal,
motherfucker! You hear me?
It's bedtime for you, man!
This is the last time I've been duped
by that motherfucker. You hear me?
Yo, why wasn't he guarded?
We were outside
planning the assault
while your man was supposed to be
in here guarding him,
the truck, and those fucking doors!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Well, fuck you, man!
You want a job done,
you gotta do it your fucking self.
You do it, then.
Let's get the fuck over here, man.
Let's get the fuck
over here.
I can't believe this, man.
What amateurs.
- Relax, take it easy...
- Do it.
Well, hello.
It's about time, man.
I was beginning to think you got lost.
Lost? I don't think so.
You need me for something?
Because if boss over there
ain't doing his job, you know, uh...
you know where you can
get your next meal.
- So who is this?
- I don't know.
Let's just hope this coalition
holds together a little while longer.
Back to square fucking one.
Well, shit, we're armed now.
Who the fuck is that?
I don't know who the fuck he is.
Found him tied up in our truck.
You call for help?
No. Radio's busted.
No phones, no keys.
Well, at least we stand
a fighting chance now.
Right. All right, I want all the equipment
stripped off those bodies.
Anything we can use,
put it here.
Search everything.
Somebody's gotta have
a goddamn phone. Got it?
- Got it.
- OK.
Move out.
Who the fuck you
say you were?
Freeze, motherfucker.
You make one sudden move
and I will totally fuck up a real nice suit.
Stand up.
Turn around. Slowly.
- What the fuck is that?
- What?
What the fuck is that?
It's what they're here for.
Set it down.
Easy.
All right.
Kick it over here.
I wouldn't do that.
Holy shit.
Put your fucking hands up.
Wait...
Stand over here,
don't fucking move.
OK, just wait, all right?
Just give me a second, OK?
You guys are making a big mistake here.
You're all gonna fucking die
if you don't listen to me.
- This is what he was carrying right here.
- Oh shit.
This changes everything.
What did we recover?
A couple more rifles,
two pistols, a dozen magazines.
- Any comms, phones, anything?
- Negative.
Motherfuckers are smarter
than I thought.
Maybe we can use that
to bargain with these guys.
Do we want to negotiate
with these fucks?
- What do we got?
- Three cops, SWAT, armed.
- Up in there.
- Oh, and Kenny.
Yeah, bring me that fucker alive.
How you gonna get in?
I'll figure it out.
All right, the good news is,
we have what they want.
Bad news is,
we don't have no firepower.
That being said,
you guys grab the M4s,
- I'll take the -
- You're wasting your time here, OK?
Shut up!
We can't hold 'em off forever,
but we can hold 'em off for another round.
Hey! I know another
way outta here,
and I'll show you if you would just
listen to me for five seconds, OK?
What other choice
do you have, huh?
Tie that fucker up.
Ah, fuck.
Ain't nothing here
but a dead end.
You're wasting my time.
More importantly,
you're pissing me off.
Yeah, I have that effect on people.
Look under the tarp.
Check it out.
Where does it go?
Away from here.
More specific, fucker.
Can you read?
It says right there - crash building.
About half a mile
away from here.
From there, there's a way
to the outside.
Yeah? How do we know you're not
gonna lead us directly to them?
We don't.
Beats standing
around here, though.
All right. Untie me.
- Bravo.
- Shut up. Shut up.
Go get my guys over here
and be quiet.
Hey, guys.
Man's a ninja.
Ladies first.
Which way?
This way.
I think. I don't know.
Uh, it's been a long time.
I don't remember.
- How do you know this?
- What?
Uh, I was stationed here.
Come on, let's go.
Get them in there now.
Hold up.
What is it?
I heard
something.
- Where?
- No, I didn't hear anything.
Back there.
All right, take him up ahead,
I'll check it out.
- All right, let's go.
- Watch that motherfucker.
Come on, boys, let's go, go, go!
Get the fuck in the hole.
And Kenny comes back to me alive,
you hear me? Alive.
I'll deal with that
little weasel myself.
All right, it's just up ahead.
We turn right, it's a dead end.
From there, there's a ladder
that leads up
to the crash building.
Don't move.
You're surrounded,
front and back.
Now drop all your hardware,
nice and slow.
I said drop 'em.
You got the jump on me
this time, sunshine.
- Ain't gonna happen again.
- Shut the fuck up.
I will have need of your services
in the future.
I only work for the family.
Where are the rest of them?
Down the tunnel,
in the crash room.
OK.
Ilya, off this cop.
- It's too bad.
- It is too bad for you.
Too bad you're not gonna get your hands
on that fucking case.
What do you know about that?
I know Kenny
doesn't have it anymore.
Get the fuck out.
Yeah, that's what
I'm talking about.
Welcome to the party,
welcome to the party.
Hey, man.
This is mine! Ha!
Whoo!
- I believe somebody's missing.
- I left him with the Russians.
Hmm.
Fuck it.
I got all I need right here.
What d'you say
we get out of here, huh?
What you got to say about that?
Fuck you?
Fuck me?
Let me explain
something to you... brah.
A little primer for where
we stand right about now.
See, I'm gonna go home,
have a big fucking steak
and a nice piece of ass.
Then, I'm gonna soak
in the Jacuzzi
till I forget today
ever happened.
As for you, my friend,
you're going for a bullet to the head,
followed by a shallow grave.
You feel me? Huh?
What you got to say
about that?
Sounds like you got it
all figured out.
Yeah.
Except one thing.
Oh, what did I forget about? Hm?
Look in the case.
The case.
Fuck!
Where is it?
Where is it?!
He's bluffing.
Call him yourself, bitch.
Hello?
- Where is it, man?
- Where is what?
No, no, no, no, no.
Don't fuck with me, man!
You know exactly
what the fuck I'm talking about.
The item is not
in the fucking case.
I want every Russian dead on
this base, you understand me?
- It's done.
- Make it happen.
- Where's the item?
- I...
And don't-don't... don't bullshit me
anymore, man,
'cause I'm... I'm kinda topped off today,
you know what I'm saying?
I'm real out there right now,
and all I want...
I just want the fucking item!
All right, it...
it was in the case not half an hour ago,
I swear.
OK, OK...
Really?
It was in the case,
I swear -
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
- He's telling the truth.
- Is that right?
- Yeah.
- You're saying that this...
this maggot,
this lying piece of shit...
doesn't know the whereabouts of my
property? Is that what you're saying?
That's right. He doesn't know where it is.
My team leader took it.
This guy has nothing
to do with it.
Nothing, uh-uh.
OK, let me...
let me get this straight,
'cause I'm a...
I'm a little dyslexic
and sometimes I need shit repeated
on the account that I...
sometimes don't process things on the
first pass. You know what I'm saying?
Kenny here, Kenny...
'cause that's your name, right?
- Yeah, Kenny.
- Kenny, yeah, see,
Kenny presently does not know
the whereabouts of my property, yes?
- Yes.
- Yes, he knows where it is,
or yes, he doesn't know?
No, he...
He doesn't know where it is.
See, my brother?
I don't know where it is.
He's no use to me, then, is he?
How about you,
Miss... Jannard?
What do you know?
OK, I make you a deal, erm...
You tell me location
of the item and, uh,
I let you go. Final offer.
- What about my team?
- That is not up to me,
that is up to, er, Kobe Bryant
and his Italians.
Something tells me you've
lost your pull over them.
I know where it is.
Finally, somebody
knows something.
That's great.
- Isn't that great, Storato?
- Wonderful.
Yeah.
Except, uh, we got
a little problem, though.
See, the problem we have now
is that you, my esteemed officer,
you just saw me vaporize
Kenny's head here.
And you know that
that just might happen to you.
And you'll do whatever it takes
to save your own little bacon.
See, that's what I hate
about torture.
When a man's in too much pain
and is too scared,
just wants it all to stop...
he'll say anything... anything...
to make it stop.
And a confession made
under duress is useless.
As you are to me.
We have to get to those doors.
Listen to me very carefully.
I am here to kill everybody
who draws breath.
- Cut me loose, damn it.
- What?!
You're outnumbered without me.
Give me a gun, for fuck's sake.
I can promise you one thing - you come out
from behind that van right now,
I will quickly and painlessly
kill every last one of you.
It'll be humane and you
won't feel a fucking thing.
Give me a fucking gun.
If you decide to resist me,
- I will lay my hands upon you.
- Do it.
- Do it.
- I will kill you in the longest,
slowest, most painful way possible.
Fuck me and I will kill you.
I'll rip your goddamn guts out.
Sounds like good deal.
Sounds like
good deal!
All right, that's enough.
I know where it is.
I'll take you to it. Just let her go.
You wait your turn, partner.
I'm gonna get to you.
I'm not gonna stand here
and watch you kill her.
Why not? Hmm?
You got something
better to do... Hunt?
Hey, I don't give a shit
about that item.
I'll take you to it.
Where is it?
In the tunnel.
You look like you're
telling me the truth.
That's because I am.
OK.
Go get it.
Storato, go with him.
- Promise you won't kill her.
- Move!
When I get my hands
on that ebony Italian
I'm gonna squeeze
the fucking life out of him.
- Me first.
- Of course.
I have you cornered
and you're outgunned.
You got 60 seconds, and it don't make
no difference to me, you're dead either way.
Listen to me, this thing ain't armored.
When those guys unload,
they'll turn this thing into Swiss cheese
along with us behind it.
That's if they don't light off
the gas tank first.
What do you suggest?
Where are the keys
to the truck?
Yeah, get this piece of shit
outta here.
I'm tired of the stink.
Come on, Mike Hunt,
how much farther?
My name is Tony,
and it's right up there,
about 40 feet.
Then go and get it.
I'll stay here.
And stay where
I can see you!
Five seconds!
Three seconds!
Two seconds!
One second!
Shoot! Shoot, God damn it!
Fire!
Get back in the van!
Go, move it!
Go ahead, toss it over.
OK, I done my part.
Now, is your boss gonna
let my team go?
You know what? Knowing him,
I'm gonna say, uh, no. Fuck, no.
Sorry, pal, life is tough.
Even tougher
when you're stupid.
And a stupid cop
doesn't have a chance.
Now toss it over.
- Get 'em off my back!
- Ilya!
I hope you know
what you are doing!
What's taking
them so long?
Fuck you!
Does anybody carry
a cell phone anymore?
You move, you die.
Drop it.
Well, well, well.
Looks like you got the upper hand
now, Mr. Policeman.
Look what else I got.
Too bad it's heading
for an evidence locker.
Get your ass over here.
Move.
Now I really hope you know
what you are doing!
Hang on!
What the fuck?!
Hey, Tate, you made it.
Hey, drop it!
- We got bigger problems.
- Like what?
Come on!
Get 'em out of here!
Tate, got something in the truck
that might help us out.
Please tell me it ain't Daisy.
No, no, no. Cover me.
Come on!
What the fuck is that?
I call this one Martha,
after my grandma.
M203 grenade launcher.
When did we start issuing those?
Uh, we haven't.
Highly explosive round,
impact detonated.
Five-meter kill,
Well, shoot the goddamn thing!
I need a line.
All right.
Eat my grandma!
Ha! Yeah, boy!
Yes, very impressive.
Now... drop the fucking gun.
OK, stop there, turn around.
On your knees.
Ilya, go get the beige Italian.
Remind me not to save your ass
next time.
You save your own as well.
Now, who has item?
All right, you got what you want.
Let us go, we'll call it even.
Oh, I'm sorry, that is not the way it works
in my line of business.
Just want to say something.
Can I say something?
- Yeah, I think you just did.
- You're a fucking faggot.
Just want to get that off my chest
before I check out.
Clever last words.
Ilya, off these fuckers.
You can't do it yourself?
Fucking Russian dope.
Huh? Pussy?
Chickenshit motherfucker!
Gunfire.
Gunfire.
Oy!
Yeah.
There you are.
Was just about
to send for you.
I'll take that,
fuck you very much.
Do I have to tell you to kneel?
Now... it's been fun...
but I gots to go...
and y'all got to die.
And like you, faggot, I'm gonna have
my man do the honors.
Wait.
What?
Remember that speech back in the hangar
about killing us all humanely?
- What of it?
- I got a last request.
Do I look like the type
to grant a last request?
All right, make it quick.
I gotta get home to the kids.
- Yo! Uh-uh-uh!
- It's cool man, it's cool.
What the fuck?
Earplugs. Allow me and my team
to wear them. It's my last request.
You're worried about your hearing
at this point?
Safety first, all the way to the end, huh?
Good boy.
You do realize that
where you're going
you don't have to worry about your hearing,
right? I'm-I'm just saying.
Whatever, man,
do your thing.
Oh shit!
You can run
but you can't hide, sunshine.
Come on, motherfucker.
Time to die, pig.
Told you, motherfucker.
Man, the Chief is gonna shit.
What are you guys gonna do
with the rest of your lives?
Well, I've been hanging
to do a little river fishing.
Probably a campus security job
opening somewhere.
Yeah.
Yeah, I hear they're looking for security
at the galleria.
Hmm?
- You know, mall.
- Hmm.
This ain't over, fuckers!
I'll see you dead - all three of y'all.
Don't sleep.
I just want to say, for the record,
I am not with this man.
Shut the fuck up.
Hey, aren't those the guys
who were reaching for their gun
and got themselves shot?
Mayor says the city is thinking of
throwing a parade in your honor.
In memory of Blanco, as well.
I don't think I need to tell you
how important a find
the contents of that case were,
and the fact that it's
off the streets for good.
Thank you, sir.
It's an honor to serve.
There's one problem, though.
What's that?
Is he on his way?
Good.
Got a complaint from the Feds.
They say you roughed up
one of their agents.
That classroom instructor?
Sir, that guy was a clown.
He didn't know the first thing
about SWAT operations.
Seriously, Chief,
the guy was a blowhard.
I can vouch for that,
he was a total blowhard.
Come in.
- What the fuck?
- Hey, guys.
Allow me
to introduce Agent -
- Kenny?
- No, no, no. Kenny is just my handle.
You guys don't have the security clearance
to get my real name.
- But I saw you die.
- No, no, no.
You saw... what I wanted you to see.
You fucking morons.
You should have seen their faces.
- I picked your brains out of my hair.
- Did you?
What the hell's going on, Chief?
What's going on is that, once again,
you cowboys are standing
on your own dicks.
Except for you, Officer Jannard.
It's physically impossible for you
to stand on your own.
You gonna let me in on the deal,
whoever you are?
The deal, Captain Tate?
The deal...
is that you clowns have totally
fucked up my investigation,
that I was conducting
for the last five years. Five years.
Five years of my life I spent
getting that item,
slowly reeling in
the two factions responsible for it.
Look, man...
I saw you die.
- You really can't get over that, can you?
- No, no, no, I can't.
Let me put it this way.
Lampone, you know, uh, Kobe?
- He is in on it too.
- That's right,
and the Russians and Italians
both have a hit out on him now.
He's had to go into deep hiding.
It's deep, man.
Penetrating deep.
Chief, are we in on this?
Yeah, so anyway,
this is what I need.
I need you guys to keep a teeny weeny
little secret for me.
All the shooting, the fires,
the wreckage at the base,
it's kinda set the public off a little.
So you guys are gonna
have to take the fall for it.
I mean, uh,
the glory for all of it.
Just keep your mouths shut.
You think you can handle that
this time?
You guys are gonna
look like heroes,
little kids are gonna
write you little letters.
You'll end up on Good Morning, LA.
All of that,
blah, blah, blah,
and everything will end up just fine.
Just shut up, OK?
And one more thing -
uh, you never saw me here.
So how she feel?
Just like new, maybe better.
I think she's better.
Ball called again.
Yeah? You tell him
you still had your job?
Yeah, but I also told him
to keep my seat warm.
Eagle 4, we have a 187
in progress at 2540 Cahuenga.
This is Eagle 4,
we're on our way.
OK if Daisy comes with?
Wouldn't have it any other way.