"AV (Adult Video), a tool
for men's sexual fantasy,"
"a world of men domination."
"What if one day,
everything is overturned,"
"and the roles of men and
women have swapped..."
My name is Wyman Chan.
I'm a writer,
pen name "Touchez Moi"
I write erotic fiction
for newspaper.
I'm not ashamed of it.
Cuz it requires certain
writing skills.
For examples, boobies,
I'll refer them
as Pinky Peaches,
and vagina as the
Waterfall Cave.
She is my girlfriend.
She is also a writer.
A well-known
romance novelist - Ceclia Jik.
A few years ago, her
lovey-dovey novel...
THINK OF YOU IN HIS ARMS
has gone to 10th printing,
sold as much as Hong Kong Map.
A sentence of hers worth
more my whole column.
Look at her, elegant and decent
But actually she
has a dark side...
Harder!
Harder!
Harder...
Left turn!
Wait a minute, left turn?
Is it like driving?
What a dumb-ass!
Every time I have to remind you!
Like this!
Remember? I taught you so many times!
Like this!
It hurts!
Am I hot?
Of course!
Look at me!
Look at me!
Why are you pushing so hard?
Go deeper!
Why are you digging so deep?
I am about to come,
let's come together!
It's coming.
It's here.
I came already.
You didn't scream when
you were cumming.
Yes, I did.
I cried out, "Wow,
it's here, I came".
But your eyes didn't
even flip once?
Yes, they did!
You could see the whites,
as if I was blind
Really?
Really!
Let's have a round two, now!
Again?
It's like this...
Sex has traumatized me.
Larry, stop rushing me,
it's almost done, just
the ending now...
What? I don't need
to write anymore?
You can't just scrapped an
adult section like this.
Do you know how many
men in Hong Kong
rely on my work for
their jerk breaks?
Have you ever thought of me
working in the sports section?
Let me refer you...
Everything can be found
on the internet now,
the adult section is a goner. I'm
now in the religion section.
Yesterday featured The
Gospel, today is Buddha.
Buddha is good!
Simon, we are really doomed...
I know, the adult
section is scrapped,
I won't last very
long here either...
Ah, the world is changing!
Who knows pervert business
would die out one day...
Look at you,
selling pirated porn
here, that's stealing...
But now you can't even
survive as a thief!
What has become of Hong Kong?
The city is dying!
You're wrong,
the city is dead.
But I think that pervert
business would never die.
Think about it, what is
the origins of humans?
It's by being horny!
If humans are not
horny, how do we exist?
There must be a way!
Yes...But now everything
on the internet is free,
who would pay?
Content is more important
than a freebie.
Do you understand?
A great content!
We don't fucking understand.
In Hong Kong, there is
"Home Ownership Scheme",
for porn DVDs,
there must be one that
satisfy perverts' crave!
Let's ask the gang to invest
a few thousands each,
and invest into making an AV.
We can film whatever
we want as we are investors,
and the gang can also go to
see the on-site shooting.
We three can sell
the movie out...
and split the profit.
But shouldn't it be quite
expensive to make an AV?
Not exactly!
I have asked around. The
cost of filming an AV...
can be a few thousands to
a few hundred thousands,
it's entirely up to you.
That's right! We can
work around the budget.
Think about it,
a Michelin food tour
costs the same already,
and there is no guarantee
you would be full!
An AV production trip will
definitely attract so many people!
It's really feasible!
I have a friend who sends me
AVs from Japan regularly.
Have her arrange the trip,
and we can even sell our
movie to the Japanese after!
Great. She can have half the
profit, we have the other half.
It seems that everything
is coming together!
If it's for real,
I'm interested too.
Who are you?
I'm here to buy porn.
A few thousands for
the real stuff,
I think my friends will
be interested too.
You see? Our first investor!
If we succeed this time, we
can do it for long-term!
Let's do it then, I am getting
so turned on already.
Just talking about it
give me a stiff y!
That one's great!
That one there
- "Bed your wife". Give me that one.
Fuck! Why the fuck are you buying!
Go home and download!
Talk show!
- What talk show?
- David Letterman works here!
- He is really famous.
- This way...
By the way, who is the woman
that helps us to make this AV?
She is a Hong Konger, but has
lived in Japan for a long time.
It's her who sends
me Japanese AVs
to make pirated ones.
This time she has
helped us a lot.
Look, the one who is
squatting there is her.
Hatoyama!
It's here.
Up the stairs is a paradise
amid these busy surroundings.
It's quite a secret place.
It fits what we come for.
I have a bad feeling about it.
This is yours,
yours,
yours,
yours,
yours.
These are yours.
I will show the special
rooms in a minute,
I can assure that you
will all be so wowed!
Wow!
You see? It really 'wows'
the fuck out of you!
The special thing of here is
you can slide in and out,
it's a fucking great feature!
It looks just the
same as a morgue!
Of course not!
In a morgue, you are wheeled
out, here you do it yourself.
Now I know a place that's
worse than subdivided flats!
How can we live in
such a small room?
If you see it as a locker,
it's actually fucking huge!
Excuse me, you are Shitdog...
Shodaiko Hatoyama.
Miss Shodaiko,
you are right.
We should always look
at the bright side.
We don't come here to stay
in a five-star hotel, right?
That's right!
Our money should be spent
in the right place.
Yes!
Our energy should also be
used in the right place.
Thank you very much,
Miss Shodaiko!
You are welcome!
Shodai, touching balls...
is your real name?
Or your hobby?
My mom gave me this name.
- Your morn likes to touch balls...
- Yes!
Fuck, would this be a set-up?
Well, what I fear
the most now...
is this Shodaiko will be the
leading actress in our AV.
Now you are really scaring me!
It won't be that bad, I
have already told her...
we only want a famous AV
actress with big tits.
Don't you think that you guys
are actually quite pessimistic?
You always assume that
we are being set up.
Then what should we do?
Think about it, as a man, we
have seen AVs for decades,
and have jerked off
thousands of times.
But tomorrow will
be the first time
to encounter a real AV girl,
and have our own AV.
Shouldn't we have an ablution...
to welcome this sacred moment?
An ablution?
Raining is actually not too bad!
It will be even
heavier tomorrow...
How do you know?
AV girls usually have really
big and "heavy" boobs...
Tomorrow is gonna be better.
Look everyone,
here is the holy place of AV...
and also an all-in-one studio.
Look over there, a clinic...
where "Hot and Steamy
Nurse" is often filmed.
Here's a classroom,
where "innocent School
Girl" is filmed.
Isn't it fucking amazing?
Wow!
Hey!
This bed is the one
I've seen in many AVs!
Take me a photo...
I fuck you...
I bang you...
No! Stop!
Your eyes are really sharp,
many AV actors have
actually creamed here.
Where exactly?
Generally it's there!
Under a UV light,
it will glow!
You see!
Good morning, everyone!
This is the director,
you can ignore him.
Oh really? At least bow and pay
a tribute like in a funeral.
I resign myself
to your guidance!
Hello everybody,
this is Miss Yui Tatsumi.
Hello everyone, I'm Yui Tatsumi.
I am here for your guidance.
Yui Tatsumi. F Cup.
Former Race Queen.
Her nickname is "the
Queen of Race Queen"!
Feeling excited is
understandable.
But if we don't
start the shooting,
it won't be finished on time.
It's actually quite dull.
Yeah, it's so boring.
Cut!
Miss Shodaiko, please
translate for me.
Ok.
To be honest,
I think that the AV actor's
performance is so-so.
He is so predictable.
Now that we have the final say,
I think he can try the hardest
position right from the start.
- Great idea!
- The hardest position? What is it?
Let's try...
The Helicopter!
Excuse me,
The Helicopter...
He can't do this one?
Never mind.
Let's try a 69 then?
This one is not bad!
Whatever you say,
it's not possible.
He can't do this either?
So useless.
Let's try something simpler
then, The Pile Driver?
Wait, wait a minute.
What happens?
What is this? I can't do
it if this continues.
- I understand.
- Let's continue then .
They are the investors, just
do whatever you feel like.
They said that shagging
is a progressive act.
What? Have they lost their fucking mind?
Progressive?
It's been like this for years.
Your AVs should take a leap, no?
I say, we should it
do like this, right?
He says...
Are you looking down on me?
You guys know nothing about AV,
shut the fuck up or leave!
What? We don't know AV? We are
all professional audience!
You dumb-ass, we have watched
pirated AVs for decades!
How many years have
you been filming Avs?
- Shut up!
- Oh, I am so scared!
Stop yapping, if you are so
great, speak in Japanese.
Don't you have the least
bit of work ethics?
Go film it yourselves, I quit!
What the fuck, how can
he leave like that?
So unprofessional!
What can we do now?
Oh, the main actor
is fucking gone!
Let's have another guy!
Let me make this clear,
lam only the middleman,
and I have already sold
this AV's copyright,
if you can't deliver, you
have to pay me back!
What? That serious?
You are so talented
to be a traitor.
How do you know that she is not?
Why doesn't one of you
take up the role?
She asked if one of you
guys can take up the role.
Wow, it's actually
in your advantage,
you cannot only see
but fuck as well,
one stone two birds!
You're crazy!
Why don't you take part as well!
Fucking crazy!
You go! The Helicopter
is your idea!
Stop that, let's
get someone quick.
Larry, I am so happy for you.
I've never thought...
taking you here can
favor you in this way.
Let me go and buy you a
Redbull and some condoms!
Hold on second...
I frankly cannot do it.
What the fuck!
A minute ago you were suggesting
The Helicopter and such.
I really want to do it.
But my inner thigh
has this birthmark,
it's so recognizable!
Don't be silly, everyone
has a birthmark like this!
That's right!
But my birthmark is in a
shape of Mickey Mouse,
I worry I would be sued by Disney
if it's exposed in the film!
You are so annoying.
Wait a minute...
What about him? Can you?
What do you think?
I can't either...
Why not?
Mine is curved.
What curved?
Have you ever seen...
a twisted bamboo?
Hey, Tommy!
You are such a pervert,
why don't you go?
I'm sorry, I have to confess...
that I'm actually a tomboy.
That's why I didn't remove
my pants for the ablution.
You can't be fucking serious!
That's why you have boobs!
If you guys don't settle this now,
I will chop you all in pieces!
You motherfucker!
Hey! Stop! Don't!
The Japanese triad is real evil.
I know one of them, his little
finger was chopped off...
just because he bought the
wrong brand of cigarettes!
What the fuck can we do now?
Listen to me,
as a Chinese,
we have this golden
opportunity to come to Japan,
and to use our bodies
to justly "punish"...
a Japanese girl
without holding back.
Stop asking what our
country has done for us,
we should ask in return,
what have we done
for our country?
That's right!
Let's prove to Japanese girls...
we Chinese aren't the
Sick man of Asia!
- Diaoyu Islands are ours!
- Diaoyu Islands are ours!
That's right! Yui
Tatsumi is ours too!
Ours...
Great!
I'm really happy-
It seems that we have
reached a consensus.
So, who will be the
Lucky Boy tonight?
You!
Ha, you silly boys!
Hello.
Hello.
Yes.
Thank you.
Yes.
Take her clothes off,
you fucking moron!
Yes, yes, I'm doing it now!
Hurry up! Are you making a stew?
Why don't you do it?
Excuse me.
No! Stop it, no!
Don't worry.
No!
No!
No!
Can you just let me go?
I will pay you anyway!
Take the top off...
Take his pants off...
Don't...
Don't...
Don't...
It's in!
It's in again!
What's this?
She is gushing!
You guys are the worst!
Forcing me into all this!
He is so cute and funny.
Before I met Ozawa-san,
I didn't know women can
actually take the lead.
I am a bit stirred
but feel so happy.
I feel so sorry for you,
as you look so
miserable in the film,
it gives me tears
when I watch it.
Do you think that it
can be pixelated more?
Excuse me...
Yes!
This...mosaic effect, ok?
Ok, 0k! No problem!
Thank you.
Hey man!
What's wrong with you?
The mosaic effect...
is see-through! Can you
make it more blurred?
Can you also not just
focus on my dick?
Put a mosaic on my face as well!
No...
The whole face...Put
it on the whole body!
Um...ok, ok!
You know what, blur
the whole picture!
Don't you worry,
If you remove your glasses,
no one would recognize you.
Try now.
Who are you?
You don't have to do
this, I'm not an idiot!
Before all this, I thought...
it's really stressful for women
to take off their clothes,
but now I realize
it's worse for men.
Let's not talk about me.
What about you? Simon told me...
you are from Hong Kong,
shouldn't you have
a Chinese name?
Or your family name is
really Hato as in Hatoyama?
It's been so long.
I don't fucking remember.
So...
it's a secret.
Actually I stay in Japan...
for a fucking romantic reason.
I have been waiting for someone.
Why don't you ask who
I'm waiting for?
I don't on purpose...
so that you would shut up!
I feel like I was in a dream,
and now that I wake up,
my life with AV has
come to an end.
Who knows...
it's just the beginning.
Let's put it beside Sex Pistols.
Ming, yes?
Wyman, you are freaking awesome!
Everyone "likes" that
video on the forum.
What video?
Stop pretending!
You can't be serious...
That adult video,
"The Innocent Man"!
Everyone is crazy forwarding,
the link can't even load now.
Who is that girl?
Yui Tatsumi? Wow, she is hot!
Go to Japan...
It's on the forum of
"Family Kingdom"?
Any many other sites as well?
Sis, that's not me!
No!
Morn, that's not me, Mom!
Yes, Cecilia?
Wyman Chan, turn on the TV
to the News Channel, NOW!
Why?
Recently there's been an AV
circulating on the internet,
the main actor in this video is
rumoured to be a Hong Konger.
Since the release of the video,
it has already got a
million hits a day...
around all the sites
in Hong Kong,
and the same goes in
Taiwan and Southeast Asia.
And the most
unexpected thing is,
this video...
has caused a national
uproar in Japan!
Now let's talk to Carrie,
our correspondent in Tokyo.
Since its release,
it has swept across the
internet in Japan.
Recently he has also beaten
all the Japanese idols,
and is voted No. 1
by the readers...
of a popular Japanese
female magazine...
as the "Man of One Night Stand".
Since I have watched this video,
I dream of him every night,
my husband is already
complaining!
I think he's really cute,
In the past, men always conquer
women fiercely in AVs,
but now the roles
have been switched.
I really enjoyed watching it!
As it swapped the roles of men
and women in traditional AVs,
this releases the
suppression in women...
who feel that they have
been looked down in AVs.
Recently Japanese AV companies
have got countless calls,
regarding the true
identity of this man.
There is also a headhunt campaign
launched on the internet.
It is believed that the identity
of this man will soon be exposed.
CSC News, from Carrie
here in Tokyo reports.
I'm so sorry, this is
really an accident!
I won't do it again!
It's really not on purpose!
I was forced!
Cecilia, please don't go!
If you go, I die right
in front of you!
Hold on!
Stop there!
Do you recognize me?
How can I not?
You are that
Shodaiko from Japan!
Yes! Why are you so fucking
silly and commit suicide?
You're right!
Why do I have to fucking
commit suicide?
If I want to die,
I should kill you first!
You bitch!
Those fake mosaics
have ruined my life!
I have lost everything!
You should have thanked
those mosaics!
Now you are a big hit!
All the AV production companies
are looking for you!
They said that you
are one of those...
Impressionism AV Actors,
all the girls are
turned on by you!
Really?
Really! Has anybody told you
that you look like Tony Leung?
To be honest,
you have no life
in Hong Kong now.
Why don't you come with me and
make some big bucks in Japan.
All the women in Japan are
longing o see your body.
Why don't you earn some
more before going to die?
Is my body really
that sought after?
Really!
I wanna see it right now!
But...
I guarantee,
you will be the most
popular AV actor in Japan.
Please accept my invitation,
and let me be your agent!
The legendary Hong Kong man
now officially...
enters Japan as "Mario Ozawa"!
Mario...
From now on, this is
your home in Tokyo!
Aren't the apartments
in Tokyo tiny?
This one is huge!
It has to match with
the size of your dick!
You're right!
You don't have to do this,
I don't masturbate!
These are your homework!
That means the more I watch,
the better I perform?
- Correct!
- You're right.
I was forced last time,
that's why I could perform,
but if there are too
many people on the set,
I worry there would
be a problem.
Don't worry,
there will be so many
veterans on the set.
You wouldn't be one of them?
No, I don't teach others!
Harder, it's "Mooto".
Mootooo.
Let's come together, it's "lku".
Ikuuu.
It feels great, it's "Kimochi".
Kimochiii.
Correct.
But the three reactions
seem the same?
No, they are
completely different!
Oh really?
Do you need to teach
me some Japanese then?
In Japan, the most
useful phrases are...
Haizara,
Chuunama
and "Cyu-hai".
Haizara is ashtray,
what about "Chuunama"?
Chuunama is beer.
Then what is "Cyu-hai"?
Cyu-hai is liquor
with hot water.
Cyu-hai, sounds like a pig's
vagina, it's a drink?
Yes, it's a popular drink!
Before the shooting,
I have arranged you to go
and learn from a master,
so as to boost your sex skills!
"Goldfinger."
Taka Kato the Goldfinger!
Kato-san,
please take me under you,
and teach me everything!
What just happened?
Look.
The fly on the floor...
just died of an orgasm
given by my fingers.
No kidding!
Rest in peace!
Master, what are you doing?
The sea in 20km west-southwest
from here is gushing,
the shore is getting so wet.
Really?
Harder!
Yes!
Faster!
Yes!
No dinner for you if you can't
dig out potatoes before sunset!
Yes Master!
Drink up while it's fresh!
Ok.
In Chinese tradition,
the best thing is
reserved for the Master
It's a great tradition.
Go!
Mario Ozawa!
You will succeed!
Go and open up the world of AV!
Go!
These people look so dodgy,
are they AV actors too?
They are actually
called "Juice-up Boys",
the ejaculation back-ups
for the real AV actors.
When the main actor is not be
able to or ejaculate too early,
we have to count on them.
During the shooting,
it's actually not the real actors
in the close-ups, it's them.
Oh, I see.
Like in action movies, there are
doubles for the real stars.
They are paid per ejaculation,
so it's better to keep
it hard all the time.
But how do they count?
Every time they did it,
a rubber band is added
on their wrist.
Since they haven't
jerked off yet,
they don't have any now.
Excuse me! I'm so sorry!
Hey bro! What is this?
I'm so sorry!
This is called
"Premature Ejaculation".
What kind of drink is he making?
Is it a men's drink
for the actors?
This is fake semen.
It's made of banana juice,
condensed milk and
three drops of coffee.
It looks just like
the real thing.
Do you want to have a sip?
No thanks, but it
does look real.
If we already have
"Juice-up Boys",
why do we use these?
Because sometimes we need to
take a shot of the shooting
but the actors may not
be able to...So we...
hold this...
We give them a pipe.
Put it close to your
dick, like this?
Yes.
But then how to make it shoot?
Look here we have a pump,
you pump it and it
can shoot so far.
It's real smart!
That's why when there is
a mouth or face shot in AVs,
the girls swallow at ease,
that's because of
the banana juice.
Is the one there Aso Nozomi?
Yes, you are working
with her today!
Are you kidding me?
It gives me so much pressure!
Miss Aso,
it's Mario's first official
AV shooting today,
please give him some guidance.
Please look after me.
You are welcome.
I have seen the work
of Ozawa-san before,
I think you are really cute.
May I know which
part of your body
is the most sensitive?
She asked where your G-spot is.
Everywhere!
The whole body!
Ozawa-san really has a
great sense of humor.
I love man with a
great sense of humor.
Ear.
Nipple.
Please don't...
Don't...
Sir...
Please don't, Sir...
No...
Sir...
No...
Remember, you have to give in after
just a little bit of struggle,
that shows you
starting to want it.
If you struggle for too long,
it would annoy the audience.
The trick is to...
say "no" three
times, then give in.
Do you understand?
There is also something
you must bear in mind,
Impossible does not exist
between two people.
Understood.
Thank you very much!
"A Dazzling Debut
- "Come for a Body Checkup, Mario""
I have to bang him.
Which grade are you in?
Grade 7.
Grade 7 in this age?
He must be fucking stupid!
Ozawa-kun!
Yes!
Ozawa-kun,
it's time for your
body check-up.
Good morning, doctor!
How old are you?
Undress, then lie down.
Yes.
Madame, what are you doing?
I am just checking the
reflex of your nipple,
it's normal.
Now I've to check your willy to see
if it's to the left or the right.
What do you see that I'm doing?
Undressing.
Your eyes have a defect.
You are hallucinating...
Madame, what are you doing?
I'm so scared!
Please don't!
Don't!
Don't!
Don't!
You've grown well,
it's longer than
the tape measure.
Don't...
Madame, no...
Ozawa-kun,
what you are going
to see and do,
they are all hallucinations.
Madame, it feels great...
I'm coming!
Let's come together!
Thank you very much, Madame!
Cut!
Ok! Well done!
Thank you.
Are you happy?
Very happy-
Do you mind handing me a
tissue, it's leaking.
Tissue!
Mario...
Hello!
Hello!
Mario?
No, I'm obviously Nick Cheung!
You are really Mario!
I love you!
No!
I have the say of which AV
actress can work with Mario.
Yes, of course.
It's for you, boss.
This one...
Hello?
"Pervettes in Train
- The Ultimate Push of Okita's L-cup"
Wait a minute...
These here...
which cup are they?
L-Cup!
L-cup?
A, B, C, D, E, F,G
H, I,J,K,L
Wow, that's fucking huge!
No...
No...
Help!
Help!
You have nowhere to go now,
why don't you just give in.
Let me have you first, then you
satisfy all the ladies here.
No...
No...
No...
Help, somebody helps me!
I can't just die here.
I have to think,
I have to counterattack
you with my imagination!
Ok! Cut!
- Thank you for your hard work!
- Thank you!
Cecilia, I thought you
wouldn't pick up my call.
Have you received all the
handbags that I sent you?
Yes.
I thought you are
still angry with me.
To be honest, I have
accepted the reality.
In today's world, money
speaks louder than words,
you don't have to care about
what other people think.
I haven't,
the only one that I
care about is you.
I have already told
you I don't mind!
I have to go now and
blow dry my hair.
Let's talk later, bye bye!
Your motherfucker!
Where the hell have you been?
You have taken all my money...
and left me with your debts!
Yes, I'm a motherfucker,
slap me, hit me!
Fuck you...
Now you are so rich,
you have created
this Mario Ozawa,
why didn't you do
the same for me?
You don't love me anymore.
I can't stand that you
fuck another woman.
I love you all the same
even you are not famous.
Prove it then.
Let me dig in.
Sorry! Excuse me!
Thank you!
Excuse me...Sorry...
This dude is really rich!
Catch that fucking bastard,
don't let him go!
Which bastard?
That's me!
This one?
Yes, he is right next to you!
I am so fucking stupid!
I knew that's a set-up,
but I let him bed me once more!
Do you know where he
hurts me the most?
My heart!
Back when I was first
sold to Japan,
I worked in the Red Light
District as a hooker.
A hooker? You?
Giving massages, hand jobs,
blowjobs, everything!
I was doing such a great job!
I earned 30,000 yen
every 90 minutes.
Later Hiroya fell
in love with me,
I let him have the
whole package,
because he was not only my
customer but also my lover,
so I didn't charge him anything.
That motherfucker has
cheated all my money
and left me with his debts.
Men are all the same.
If a man says he loves
you at the first sight,
he is a fucking liar!
But I thought,
when you say you don't
like me, you actually do.
Do you like me?
I don't like to lie.
Love tires me out!
Hiroya! My love...
Are you okay?
Don't pass out!
Oh, fuck!
Why my legs are not moving,
but I'm moving forward?
The beer you just had
is a new invention.
It gives you wings!
Don't treat me like
a fucking idiot!
You are carrying
me on your back.
Thank you!
How can you be so stupid and
heavy at the same time.
Yes, that's right. Okay.
Thank you.
Yes.
Wow, you are so handsome!
Really, which part?
Your side parting, it's great!
Really?
May I know
what are we shooting
today with this outfit?
- Today you are Ming the Merciless.
- I see.
- You will be captured by Sailor Moon.
- Oh, I see...
- First raped then killed...
- Yes.
And then raped again.
Raping over my dead body?
That's a great idea.
Who will be Sailor Moon?
Noriko Waiyama. She is a newbie.
Would her agent be...
Kishihisa Nemoto?
Hello!
Hello...
It's first time for Noriko,
Ozawa-san, please
look after her.
Come here, Noriko!
Hi, nice to meet you.
I will be in your care.
Her agent seems really
fucking stupid.
Just like me!
She is so cute!
No...
Please don't...
You...
You Big Evil...
You've sinned and tainted your
hands with innocents' blood...
die... now.
Oh, yes.
Please don't rape me,
you can kill me,
but please don't touch my willy!
It is my weakest point.
But now I'm in your hands,
just do whatever you want!
I will humiliate you...
in every way before killing...
you.
No...
Noriko, you can't be like that!
- It's okay!
- Wait! Noriko!
Let me handle it!
So sorry! I am really sorry!
I mean no harm.
I know how stressful it is...
to make AVs.
I don't really like to do it,
and so do you it seems.
You can go!
Is my Japanese that bad?
Do you understand?
I have signed this
contract with my agency,
they wouldn't let me go.
Don't you worry,
I have money.
Okay!
Goodbye...
Goodbye...
Go now!
Ozawa-san,
if it's with you, I
think I can do it.
But can you do me a favor?
What is it?
Before the shooting,
can you go out with me?
If you can make me feel loved,
I'm sure I can perform well.
Tuna sushi?
Is tuna okay for you?
Yes, I love it.
Was the dinner alright?
Yes.
But let's get changed next time,
the way we dress is so weird.
Yes, I feel so too.
It must be Shodaiko
returning my clothes.
Look,
we are both decently dressed,
and so tidy.
That means nothing has happened!
Have I ever said that you did?
Feeling guilty?
Not exactly.
But you really...
caught me off guard.
Hong Kong girlfriend.
Oh, I have to go now,
see you tomorrow.
You see, we were just off work,
and then she...
Fuck me!
I want you to fuck me like
those girls you fucked in AVs.
No, I really can't!
I shot 4 scenes today,
I am so knackered!
You don't have a choice!
You Big Evil, I
won't forgive you!
Don't go!
Stop!
Wait...
Wait...
Even it's just for today,
I have to have the entire you.
At this moment,
I can deeply feel
that how jealousy...
can change a woman,
and push her that far.
This time is the first
ever AV shooting that...
I can feel there is love.
Hello?
Hi, Cecilia, where are you now?
I am in Japan, just came
back from shopping.
Shopping?
The fact that your boyfriend is
Mario Ozawa has been exposed,
now the Mainland publisher
has problem with your image,
stops publishing your books,
and terminates your
projects with them!
"You Have Your Say"
Hello and welcome to
"You have your say".
In this episode, we
have invited two guests
to discuss a very hot topic.
First to my left is...
the President of
Moral Moral Adjust,
a veteran of AV,
and also the Honorary President
of HK Schizophrenia Association.
He is the well-known
"Fat Face Dragon"...
Mr. Fucking Mo!
It's Mr. Frankie Mo!
I beg your pardon.
Mr. Fucking Mo.
Another guest of honor is our
best-selling romance novelist
Miss Cecilia Jik.
What we are going
to discuss today,
it's the oddity of
this Hong Kong man,
who went to Japan
to be an AV actor,
and became popular by
sexually humiliated by women.
Mr. Mo, what do you think?
I must deeply
condemn this Mario Ozawa,
he is unforgiveable and a
disgrace to all Hong Kong men!
Do you know...
After watched his AVs,
40% of men has become impotent,
30% could only get it up
but not put it back down;
and 20% felt guilty...
to have an up and down.
What's worse are
those special cases,
men who spat milk like a baby...
right after watching!
- It does sound very dangerous!
- Of course!
What do you think, Miss Jik?
Here we have a tabloid magazine,
saying that you are the
girlfriend of Mario Ozawa.
Here, I have to
make a declaration:
There is nothing between
Mario Ozawa and me now.
What he does is shameful,
that's why I cut ties with him.
I despise him!
We now have a viewer calling
in to express his opinions.
Here, the line is put
through, please go ahead.
Miss To, Can you tell Miss Jik,
that everyone here can say
what she just said...
Yes...
But you can't!
Wow! Mario Ozawa!
Look everyone, either from
your TV or with us here!
It's Mario Ozawa! He's
here in the studio!
Wow, I suddenly feel
like to spit some milk!
I am begging you!
Stop hurting me!
That's right, or may
be just a little...
Who told me...
that money speaks
louder than words,
and I don't need
to care about...
what others say if I'm rich?
But do you know what you
did has cost me a fortune?
I have lost the multi-billion
market in the Mainland!
Oh I see. That's the
reason why we broke up.
Thanks a lot, I got it...
I don't have a market in
Mainland either, am I dying?
Wait!
Go fuck yourself!
Wow, it's getting
really exciting!
Just now Miss Jik and Mr. Ozawa
have both given their words.
Mr. Mo, you have just
witnessed this epic moment,
which side would you take?
I feel a bit sad.
Haruki Murakami once said,
if he is caught in between
a high wall and an egg,
he will definitely
choose the egg.
As a man...
if I'm caught in between
a pair of high heels...
and a pair of balls,
I will definitely
choose the balls.
Unfortunately,
it seems that his balls
have been cracked,
poor thing...
This kick from Cecilia...
has put me in hospital
for a few days.
Even though the doctor
said my dick is fine,
I have decided...
to quit the AV world.
I want to say...
I don't want to be
Mario Ozawa anymore.
I think Ozawa should retire,
and goes to a place that
no one would know him!
Where can you find a place
that no one knows you?
I have just sold your AVs to South
America and Eastern Europe,
Unless you go to Africa.
Can you not be like that?
Haven't you already made so
much money with my body?
I don't care, just
give back my share
after your commission.
I have to go.
Have you ever thought about me?
We have signed so
many contracts,
I have to pay them back!
Dada Chan did the same,
what's the big deal?
No matter you give me
back my share or not,
I really have to go. Please...
Goodbye.
Mario Ozawa!
These are all yours!
Don't ever come back,
and enjoy your life.
What about you?
I've thought about it,
I don't want you to
do it unhappily.
Just go.
Good evening, Hatoyama-san.
You still have
some unpaid debts!
I don't fucking understand you.
If I don't see
money in two days,
I'll make you a cripple!
Let's go!
Let's go.
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
Do I not look okay?
Go now,
goodbye!
What do you fucking want now?
Take you to the hospital,
then give the money back, okay?
I, Mario Ozawa, am
back to business!
Are you dying?
Not yet...
Where is the nearest hospital?
Let's go to the Princess
Magaret Hospital.
Good.
Oh, no... no...
Wait a minute,
are you not feeling well?
Your accent is weird.
Are you Chinese as well?
Yes,
I'm half Fujian
Chinese, 1/4 Japanese,
and 1/4 Russian.
Oh, Fujian, so you
are from Mainland!
Yes,
and...
my mouth is stiff from
all this blowing,
why your willy is still so soft?
Mario is impotent now...
get those "Juice-up Boys" ready.
Mario is impotent now,
everyone stands by.
Hey, you mainland girl,
don't bad-mouth me!
I, Mario Ozawa, am
the so-called...
Beefy Bonar.
Maybe the problem is yours?
Me? What's my problem?
Maybe your body has a problem?
What's wrong with my body?
If my body isn't great,
how can I set foot...
in the Japanese AV
world as a Chinese?
You are all wrapped
up, how can I see?
I bet your front is
as flat as your back!
My grandma is Russian,
I have a European body!
Yea, a 3 years old European?
I can tell that...
you won't be convinced unless
I show you what I have!
Let me show you!
Wow, such huge tits!
So,
is it my problem,
or yours?
Ok, that's obviously me.
I am so sorry!
Sorry!
Well, don't worry,
life is filled With...
ups and downs.
When I first started
this AV career,
I had no orgasms,
but I walked through this
period of dryness all the same.
Don't you worry,
tomorrow is gonna be better!
Thank you very much!
Keep it UP!
Yes!
Where is the double?
Come here quick!
This one is impotent,
it's wasting my time!
Are you really impotent?
Don't worry,
it's not a problem,
it's a fucking big trouble!
Today's AV Headline!
According to informed sources,
after the incident with his-ex,
Even Mario is physically fine,
he has become mentally impotent.
Now all his AVs close-ups
has to be done by doubles.
If the rumors is true,
it is really worrying.
But bad luck can
always turn worse.
Recently there is an
aspiring AV actor,
who is regarded as
Mario's ultimate enemy.
He is Naoki Nagasaki,
the soul healing beau.
Now let's see his interview...
Hello everyone,
I'm Naoki Nagasaki.
Making female audience happy...
is my greatest happiness.
There is a saying about you
stealing the style of Mario Ozawa,
What do you think?
Mario Ozawa,
well...
since we are both
from Hong Kong,
I now challenge you.
We compete on the
sales of our next AV.
The one that loses...
has to acknowledge...
the other is "the King of AV"!
Do you accept my challenge?
Naoki Nagasaki is so handsome!
Amazing!
Naoki Nagasaki is
really amazing!
His new AV "Rape the Undead"...
has already beaten Mario's.
Now let's look into
the footage of
this splendid AV.
"Naoki Nagasaki's touching AV debut
- Rape the Undead"
Haruko!
Well...
We said that...
we would be together forever,
how can you be so cruel...
and just go like this?
Without you,
Well...
I don't believe in love,
and I can't love anymore.
Kimochiii!
Yes...
thank you for coming.
Haruko's death is an accident,
please don't blame yourself.
Well...
if I didn't smoke...
while taking her to pee,
and loosened the leash,
she wouldn't be
crashed by a lorry...
with wheels this fucking big!
I love men that are sentimental.
Just his tears have
melted me down.
NaokL
- you can cry on my shoulder.
- Please don't...
No...
No...
No...
No...
No...
Stop there!
If you get out from this door,
then Haruko will
disappear forever!
If you want to get her back,
undress now!
Take your clothes off, quick!
Hurry up!
Undress from head to toe!
Take off your pants!
Take off your underpants!
Take off your socks!
Why do you look like this?
Show me your nipples!
Kneel down!
Smile!
Dance!
I'd rather be run over by
this fucking big wheel,
and you are the one being
molested by these three! Haruko!
"My life, is like those
petals blown by this gale,"
"frail, and falling."
"Naoki Nagasaki"
Ok! I will take the challenge!
No fucking way.
You dick is fucking limp!
I have to do it no matter what.
I have to do something...
fucking unforgettable!
Why don't you go fuck the
security guard outside?
I think of someone suddenly.
With this person,
everything will be fine!
Great!
I will find this person for you!
It wouldn't be the
security guard, would it?
This woman was the AV
goddess in my adolescence.
When I was young, I have
jerked off for her...
thousands of times.
She enlightened me in sex...
and was the pin-up of so many
other boys in Hong Kong...
Ladies and gentlemen...
Maiko Yuki!
The condition of
Ozawa-san, I have got it.
How long do you need then?
Long enough to make a tea.
Men's sexual excitement...
actually comes from their brain,
rather than their bottom half.
If there is a problem,
the best way to solve...
is to look into his memories.
To find out what actually made
him hard in his adolescence,
in order to provoke
an erection again.
I feel so bad!
Are you alright?
Ozawa-san,
you have to hang in there,
the doctor is coming!
I feel really bad!
Why?
Your heartbeat is very strange.
I'm dying!
Are you okay?
What's going on?
Why?
What?
Are you okay?
My chest is in pain!
Can you rub some oil on it?
Please rub some oil,
especially on my nipples!
I'm sorry, even oil won't
help in your case.
These?
You have to hang in there!
Hang in there!
Hang in there!
Hang in there!
I have brought his
cock back into life,
but in order to have it
bigger, stronger and harder,
you have to seek a more
experienced master.
Hello? Where are you now?
Why do you have me to
come to this warehouse?
I think that you should get
back up from where you fell.
Your ex is from Hong Kong,
that's why I've
specially sent you...
this Hong Kong No.1
hooker to help you.
Even the Golden Chicken
offers a takeaway to Japan?
Hi, boss, I'm Kam.
I have always wanted to open
the international market,
and you have made my
dream comes true today!
Thank you very much!
Nice to meet you!
Miss Hatoyama has already
told me everything about you.
Don't worry, I never miss.
Hong Kong customers
always enjoy my company.
I can assure that you can...
shoot through the ozone layer.
I am so happy to be here,
it's my first business trip!
I am really happy!
Thank you very much!
Let's start then, boss?
Great...
Do you want a
girlfriend's touch?
Please don't!
My condition is caused
by my ex, I hate her.
Okay.
Just by looking I know he
had a very miserable past.
Very miserable!
Let me have a talk with him!
I'm afraid I have to
use some ice and fire!
Wow, do you really have to use
such lethal weapons on me?
Difficult times call
for harsh measures,
I learnt this from Andy Lau.
Fuck you, Andy Lau,
it's all your fault.
It's getting so hot.
Why are you still hard
and haven't shot yet?
I have no choice...
but to go for turbocharging
and top-spinning!
The Golden Chicken is
famous for a reason!
Now you have shot
through to the Galaxy.
With the power you have now,
you can take whatever
challenges that come your way.
Remember,
you are a Hong Konger,
and the core value of
we Hong Kongers is...
no matter how hard is the
circumstance, we have to be...
HARDER!
King of AV Battle The live show of
the " King of AV Battle" between...
Mario Ozawa and Naoki Nagasaki,
the two most popular AV actors,
has now began!
Mario Ozawa,
today I will defeat you
in front of everyone.
If you lose,
you will have to kneel down...
in front of all the audience,
and acknowledge my position
as the true King of AV.
Listen, you fucking
Louis Koo of Jiangmen,
I haven't even sued you for
stealing my signature style.
You will see,
today I have to show
everyone in Japan,
who is the cutest.
Today's victory is decided by...
the two AV actors' new releases,
which hit the stores today.
For the sake of the
professional legitimacy,
we have invited their master,
the Super AV actor...
Mr. Taka Kato to be our judge!
"Goldfinger."
"Taka Kato"
Master Taka Kato,
what do you think
about this battle?
They are both my beloved pupils.
One is like my left fingers,
the other is the right.
It's like my left and right fingers
are fighting to each other.
The two contestants have
things to say again.
Oh, you think you
are unbeatable?
Great, let's raise the bet,
whoever loses today
has to suck...
our master Kato-saws...
Goldfingers!
Ha!
You Nick Cheung lookalike,
it's just sucking, no big deal!
You're wrong.
Even a 30 years old
fish chopping board...
would have some smell, and
now we are talking about...
Kate-sank; fingers!
His fingers are so yours!
I already have the
two AVs with me.
Great, let's see!
"The Horny Spirits"
This one is so ugly!
This one is actually cute!
Mister, we would like to...
suck the essence
out of your dick,
so as to wet our souls,
and get on to another world.
Hey, your nipple slips!
It's okay!
Power,
Energy,
Harmony,
Healing,
Intuition,
Awareness,
Dimension,
Creation,
Absolute!
See you in the next life!
He is so amazing, it's
really surprising!
Naoki has put Ying
and Yang together,
his touch with the underworld...
has pushed AV up to a
philosophical level!
Thank you!
Thank you!
Our Naoki is a sure win.
Why don't you just give up now?
I am really worried now, but...
fuck you anyway!
With the comment of Master Kato,
the sales of Naoki's
The Horny Spirits is
shooting up high.
I can already picture
your face when...
you are sucking the
Goldfingers of Kato-san,
and that's really cute!
Fuck!
So what kind of topic
has Mario chosen,
and can he really beat Naoki?
Master Kato,
let's watch it now!
Let's go!
"Superman Ozawa
- Saving the Earth"
The Earth is like an innocent
girl in the Universe,
it has always been molested
by aliens and monsters.
Usually, it happens
only once a week,
as the series of Superman is
only broadcasted once a week.
This time is the worst,
as there are so many monsters.
Too many of them.
Yamete!
Yamete!
At this moment,
these useless Earth Defenders,
who've never defeated
any monsters, appear!
Well, the monsters
have lost their minds!
See?
These scumbags only irritate
the monsters every time,
it's even a waste
time to scold them!
I've just been told...
all our troops've been
defeated by the monsters!
Oh no, we can't hold
this any longer...
Superman Ozawa, the world's
peace is in your hands!
Which episode isn't like that?
Why do you repeat every time?
You fucking monsters,
why are you here on earth?
What a stupid question!
To destroy the earth,
and most importantly...shopping!
What a bastard! Let
me kill you first.
Invading the earth
just for shopping?
You big evil!
Let me tear off your ears!
Oh why are you here?
I make an appearance
to support you!
Why do you wear a wig?
I've actually been wearing
it all this time.
What the fuck! You lie to me?
Get lost!
Superman Ozawa takes a move,
and throws Monster
Hatoyama so far...
You are not human either, why
you don't let us destroy?
The monsters start
to pounce on and...
gang bully Superman Ozawa
and attack Superman Ozawa.
Oh no,
they are actually molesting him.
These monsters are
real perverts,
surfing their hands
on Superman Ozawa.
Look, they are
touching his nipples!
Wow, now's his balls!
Fuck you all, my mask!
Take my beam...
Beam! Beam! Beam!
Superman Ozawa, let me ask you,
what's so great about the Earth
that you want to protect?
I don't know!
I'm a Superman, protecting
the Earth is my job!
Don't chitchat
anymore, kill him now!
Oh fuck!
Superman Ozawa, you have
fucked up our Earth!
Ah! You fucking bastard!
I'm fed up with you!
All you do is talk, why don't
you come down and fight?
You motherfucker!
Just staying up high!
Fuck you!
Why are you saying?
Wait a minute, actually
"fuck" will do!
The real key to conquer women...
is actually romance and care,
and the real G-spot...
is a woman's heart,
not down there.
Superman Ozawa, you've
got my total respect!
Mario's AV has not only
got out of the Earth,
it has reached the
end of the Universe,
he also expressed the human's
will of living in harmony...
or even reproduce with aliens.
This is one level
higher than Naoki's.
Monsters will no longer
pose threat to human,
the more they come,
the more we fuck.
Mario's AV...
has driven out our fear for
monsters in all these years.
Here comes the
official sales record.
Mario Ozawa's AV is
ranked No.1 in sales.
It's a crushing defeat
for Naoki Nagasaki!
It's impossible!
It's impossible!
I officially declare that,
in this King of AV
Battle, the winner is...
Mario Ozawa!
Enough crying. Come down quick
and kneel down before me!
Kneel down please!
Get down now!
Suck it!
Aren't you serious?
That's it?
What?
It's just for a TV programme,
why are you so serious?
Such an idiot!
Wow, you fucking liar!
The humiliation I've
suffered today,
you will have to pay me back
in a 100 times in the future!
Of course!
Ah! We won!
We won!
Are you happy now?
By the way...
have you ever watched my
AVs and touched yourself?
No, of course not!
Why you seem so nervous?
Hell no, I don't!
Are you a woman?
Hello!
Mario Ozawa!
Here, one each,
they have all been signed!
Thank you!
From now on,
we only sell originals here!
I was going to shut this
shop down this month,
thanks to this idiot,
he is taking over.
That's called being persistent.
Someone said to me once,
we Hong Kongers,
no matter how hard
is the circumstance,
we have to be HARDER!
HARDER!
If we keep being tough and hard,
no one can beat us!
My love... My love... My love...
My...
Now you are an
"impressionism AV Actor"!
Too much hand movements...
What are your hands doing?
Just can't stand it...
Can't stand it...
Chotto Ma Te Yo Love...
Had he shot,
a rubber band would be
added on his wrist.
Since he hasn't shot yet,
he doesn't have any now.
Hello, I'm a fortune
teller from China,
nicknamed "Get-It-All-Wrong"
fortune teller.
My real name is Chan Ho-Sun,
you can call me Peter.
Mr. Peter
ain't I handsome?
Mr. Ozawa, please
punish me physically!
Wow!
What is this?
What is happening?
Your daughter is so fucked up!
Grabbing my hand to squeeze her
boob, she's crossed the line!
She's crossed the line?
What about me?
Wow! What do you want? Wow!
Thank you!
Thank you everyone!
Thank you.
Wow, so thick!