Mystery Men (1999)

Would you like something sweet?
What do we got here, an antique show?
All right, boys, fan out!
What a wrinkle-fest this is.
Beat it, you broads! Come on!
All right, sit down and shut up!
We're the Red Eyes. Everybody, freeze!
Get their valuables, boys.
I want watches, wallets, jewelry.
Get me some silver chains.
I want wigs and toupees.
Keep an eye out for me, will you?
-No, it's mine!
Leave me alone! I'm a veteran!
No! Not that!
I love crashing parties!
Pardon me, fatty.
If you're going to eat cake,
you ought to use a fork.
You might just as well shovel it in.
People who don't close their mouths
when they chew...
...make me furious.
One for you.
And for you!
Want a little whipped cream,
Mr. Cherry Top?
Get him!
Is that all you got?
-Throw it!
-Not today, my vermilion-eyed varlet.
Out of the way!
Yes, this one should stick.
Oh, my!
That's right up the Khyber!
It's Captain Amazing!
It's Amazing! I'm out of here!
C.A., you were, if I may say, amazing.
-Yeah. Let's go meet the press.
He is good.
He is rather ripping.
The spinning and the hurtling
and the kicking.
I guarantee he hogs the credit on this one.
I think we have to... least concede him
the assist here, Roy.
No. That's exactly what's holding us back.
Don't put him on the pedestal.
Put us on the pedestal.
Here he comes.
Bravo and huzzah, Captain.
Splendid work, as usual.
No autographs till we finish with the press.
We're not.... Allow me to introduce myself.
Blue Raja, master of silverware,
forks a "speciality," at your service.
-My colleague, the Shoveler.
-Big fan of your work.
Standing rather painfully aside
is our cohort, Mr. Furious.
-How's it hanging?
-So you guys....
They're superheroes.
-We fight crime. Call it what you will.
-Quite right.
That's great. Just, you know...
...keep up the good work.
You as well, sir. You as well.
Did you see? Did you....
Did you hear that?
"Keep up the good work."
-The good work.
-He's making fun of us.
No, Roy. He saluted us. That was real.
-I thought he was sincere.
-What's up?
Hello. Nice to see you.
I saw the action out there tonight.
What you guys need is
a little bit of firepower.
I'm a weapons designer.
-I've got what you need.
-All right. We'll come back.
We'll visit all of you people later.
Thank you, sir.
I don't live here. I'm here for the ladies.
Here, take my card.
My name's Heller. Say it with me.
All right. Thank you.
Why do you encourage those people?
-Those people look up to us.
-That's true.
-You know the drill.
-Please sign my hat, Captain Amazing.
Herman, give me a flash.
How are you tonight?
Captain, how did you know
where to find the Red Eyes?
Becky, it's what I do.
Thanks to you, the city's almost crime free.
What do you do with your free time?
I wish I had some free time.
People are saying you're so "amazing"
you'll put yourself out of a job.
-Have any comments on that?
-That's one problem I look forward to.
And is it true that you lost
your Pepsi endorsement?
I hadn't heard that.
Thanks for your questions.
You have no comment
regarding your Pepsi situation?
Look who we got.
You again. Wanna-bes.
This city already has a superhero.
-Perhaps you've heard of Captain Amazing.
-Thank you.
Do yourself a favor, McGuire.
Don't flip my switch tonight.
He's a big baby.
And what exactly would that do?
Don't turn around, Roy. Don't do it.
-It's not worth it.
-Keep walking.
It's not worth it.
You know exactly what that would do...
Don't mess with the volcano, my man.
'Cause I will go Pompeii on your butt.
My golly. Good grief.
You keep dreaming, Wanna-be.
Let's go.
Dream on, moron.
I will keep dreaming, my friend.
And when I wake up, you better hope... better hope you're asleep.
-Don't re-engage him. He's a silly--
-Sweet dreams!
-He's immature.
C.A., I'm doing my best.
Your best? Quick question:
Is this your best?
-I realize you're upset.
-Victor, I'm positioned.
Do you understand what that means,
on a very personal level here... know the companies
that make these products...
...want me to be their spokesperson?
Their voice?
I think we should focus on the positive.
-Tonight was good.
-Yeah? You think so?
'Cause I was worried it was...pathetic!
"Amazing Triumphs At A Nursing Home!"
That's great copy, Vic.
I'm a publicist, not a magician.
You want big news?
You must have big fights.
A superhero needs a supervillain.
Thanks to you, we've got none left.
Then get the Death Man.
Death Man is dead.
-Father Doom.
-Life without parole.
Apocalypto's doing 50 years.
Armagezzmo's in exile.
-Baron Von Chaos got the chair.
-Casanova is locked up in a nuthouse.
-Casanova Frankenstein.
Now, there was a supervillain.
You know, he just....
He's got those eyes, you know?
I can't do it, but....
That voice. Such pure evil.
The battles we used to have.
"Used to."
That's the problem, Captain. "Used to."
Let the records show...
...that this parole hearing
has officially begun.
We now commence the 17th parole hearing
of Casanova Frankenstein.
Dr. Leek, you may begin.
Thank you.
Gentlemen of the board,
the man who sits before you...
...the once infamous evil genius,
is entirely cured.
-I give you my word...
...that he's of no more danger to the city
than I am.
-This is outrageous.
Mr. Casanova Frankenstein... you have anything to say
on your own behalf?
Blessed disciples of Hippocrates... heart is split in two.
It brims...
...with such sorrow
for my abominable crimes.
And yet... swells with love...
...for you...
...for this sanctuary...
...this place of healing.
Within my soul, I feel the choir singing...
...Beethoven's immortal Ode to Joy...
...where all men...
...become brothers.
Am I too late to cast my vote?
Not at all, Lance.
I was just about to remind the board...
...that Casanova once had our city
in a stranglehold of terror.
Parole is not an option for this man,
this monster.
We cannot risk the danger
of releasing him.
-I could not agree with you more.
However, I did just have dinner
with an old friend recently.
Maybe you've heard of him?
Captain Amazing.
-Captain Amazing?
-He asked if I would read this.
"Dear members of the board:
"We all know that society cannot exist
without absolute justice...
"...but society is also built
upon compassion.
"Let us set the tone
for the new millennium...
" making a historic gesture
of forgiveness.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I implore you...
"...let us grant Casanova Frankenstein...
"...a second chance."
With Captain Amazing's recommendation
and protection...
...l suppose we could consider....
I pronounce you...
Hello, Champion City.
Daddy is home.
Hi, everybody.
Tooth decay and gingivitis can be a crime.
That's why I use
Mighty Whitey toothpaste.
Because I want my teeth to look amazing.
I'll bring this up again.
It's $150 apiece. We each chip in.
My cousin knows a guy
who knows a publicist.
What will we publicize?
The fact that we get our butts kicked a lot.
If you didn't smack me with a shovel
every time we went out...
...we'd have more wins to brag about.
I'm sorry. I just tend
to lose my concentration...
...when I've got a salad fork stuck
in my rear end.
I get it. Your shovel in his face is my fault.
You threw a spoon at the guy, Jeff.
-What was up with that?
-I thought it was a fork.
You're the master of cutlery.
You can't throw a knife
when someone's trying to kill me?
-You can't use a rake?
-No, I'm the Shoveler.
I'm the Blue Raja. I'm not Stab Man.
I'm not Knifey Boy. I'm the Blue Raja.
-That's another thing.
You could get a bit of blue
in the uniform somewhere.
You've got green.
There's a little flowery thing.
It doesn't make a lot of sense.
If we could stop being so literal
for just one moment.
Look what I'm doing. Look at that.
I'm putting $150 on the table.
Who's in with me?
I don't have $150.
If I did, I wouldn't have plundered
my mother's silverware.
It's a waste of money.
You know who doesn't think
it's a waste of money?
Little Mr. Captain Amazing.
If we had a billionaire benefactor
like Lance Hunt...
-...we could spend $150.
-Lance Hunt is Captain Amazing.
Don't start that again.
Lance Hunt wears glasses.
Captain Amazing doesn't wear glasses.
He takes them off when he transforms.
That doesn't make any sense.
He wouldn't be able to see.
-Thanks for waiting.
-Thanks for dropping by.
Do you know what you want?
Allow me to begin, my dear. The Blue Raja
is quite partial to the salad nioise.
My dressing of choice is Rancho Light...
...and I'd appreciate it
if you'd hold the Baco-Bits.
Since it's your first night,
I suppose I'll "fork-give" you...
...if you "fork-get."
Who's next?
Can I get a meatball sandwich
on white with mayo?
I'll have a steak, very rare.
That means pink, not bloody.
And could I get some ice?
I had a little mishap defending justice
at the nursing home.
I thought I heard on TV that
that was Captain Amazing.
Let's all be good little automaton droids
and believe everything we hear on TV.
I'll just go place your order now.
A trifle strident with that crumpet,
weren't we, Furious?
I am a ticking time bomb of fury.
When we split the check three ways...
...the steak-eater picks the pocket
of the salad man.
-Just give me the money, Jeff.
-Yes, fine.
-Every time we split it three ways.
-It's flipping robbery.
Well, you should order more.
Do you see what I see?
It's Tony C.
And Tony P, leader of the Disco Boys.
But why would he be back in town?
Maybe it's time to do a little following
to find out.
No, it's already 10:30.
I'll get killed by my wife as it is.
Yes, and I've had quite enough excitement
for one night, thank you.
My mistake. I thought I was hanging out
with serious superheroes:
The Shoveler and the Blue Raja.
But, apparently,
I'm hanging out with Lazy Boy and....
-Good night, Roy.
-Yes, toodle-loo.
Hang on a second. Lazy Boy and the....
And the Recliner!
Yeah, Lazy Boy and the Recliner!
Guys, are you coming?
Okay, fine. I guess tonight...
...the lone wolf...
...hunts alone.
Testicles rising.
Can't breathe. Can't breathe.
Butch needs his vest back.
He's got a game on Saturday.
Well, it's my vest too. I bought it for him.
The only thing I need--
How long you gonna do this, Eddie?
-It's been 12 years.
-I know.
You got a family to look after, Eddie.
The kids are worried sick about you.
But still you go out, night after night,
running around the city. For what?
Lucille, God gave me a gift.
I shovel very well.
You shovel better
than any man I've ever known.
But that does not make you a superhero.
-All l--
-Oh, no.
You're a good husband.
And a good father.
But that's all. Nothing more.
You're right.
I believe in you, Daddy.
Roland, do not encourage your father.
Well, if it isn't our old friends,
the Red Eyes.
Good evening. We weren't expecting
to see you again so spoon....
Red Eyes, Red Eyes. What a treat.
We weren't expecting
to see you again so spoon.
Mom, how many times have I asked you
not to barge in here?
-What's burning?
I can't even count
how many rules you're breaking.
One: Always knock.
Two: Don't sniff around outside my door.
Three: Do not interrogate me.
Are you into marijuana?
You're cheesing me off so bad.
Just, please.... Good night.
I'm sorry. Jeffrey, please....
She's just so--
All right, let's see what's shaking... the Chez Casa Casanova.
The old disco room.
Just as I left it.
You've been locked up for 20 years.
A lot of things have changed since then.
It must have been hard for you,
the way times and styles have changed... hear the people saying
that disco is dead.
Disco is not dead! Disco is life!
Yes, Tony, that is the passion I remember.
Stick with me, Tony,
and you will dance again...
...when I rule this town.
Have you met my psychiatrist?
Come out, come out wherever you....
There we go.
We got a little terrace party.
I want you to spread the word
to all of my gangs.
Tell them that Casanova Frankenstein
is back...
...and that Casanova
is planning something...
...a little bit different.
Mama pajama!
What kind of crazy man blows up
a crazy house?
And now, if you will excuse me,
I am expecting a visit...
...from a very old friend.
Look what we got.
A little booty call from Captain Amazing.
This is a fine, elegant Harvey Wallbanger.
Even when it's sucked by a scum like you?
Captain Amazing. What a surprise.
Really? I'm not so sure about that.
Your first night of freedom,
and you blow up the asylum.
Interesting choice.
I knew you couldn't change.
-I knew you'd know that.
-I know that.
And I knew you'd know I'd know you knew.
But I didn't.
I only knew that you'd know that I knew.
Did you know that?
Of course.
-Please, won't you join me?
-With pleasure.
Quick thought.
Would you mind removing
the submicronic laser... the ring on the index finger
of your left hand?
Of course.
If it wouldn't be too much trouble,
go ahead and disengage...
...the psychotropic bacterium
dart launchers in your slippers.
The cold fusion ultrasonic neuro-stunner
in your drink stirrer. Turn it off.
We know each other so well,
don't we, Lance?
We've always been each other's
greatest "nemesises."
What's the plural on that?
You're going to prison
for life this time, Casanova.
Here in Champion City...
...we still do a fairly brisk trade... justice.
I thought it was all about the publicity
and keeping your sponsors happy.
It's that kind of cynicism that I truly feel... starting to poison society.
Looky here.
A multi-frequency radio detonator.
You should be careful
when discarding incriminating evidence.
Oh, no. This is an amusing little gizmo.
It's really quite cool.
Yeah? What is it?
It's a chloroform-deploying
portable enticement snare.
Lancie... really are so predictable.
-'Morning, Sally.
-You're late!
Yes, I know. I was up all night,
defending the city from evil...
...but you don't care about that.
Work starts at 9:00! It's 9:25!
I guess all the junk's
probably ruined by now.
When are you gonna tear down
that jeep like I told you to?
We went through this yesterday.
That jeep is an armored car of some type.
It can withstand bombs.
I can't rip it apart with a crowbar.
Just junk it.
-If you gave me the proper tools, I could--
-Junk it!
I'm willing to have this discussion
with you...
...but I think we should deal with it
like two people who respect--
I want it junked.
Right now, I'm kind of like a powder keg...
...and you're the match.
If you tell me to junk it one more time--
Junk it now!
You got that?
That little sucker just saved your life.
Just junk it, you miserable cuss.
We interrupt this program
to bring you breaking news.
Champion City's best-known billionaire,
Lance Hunt, has disappeared.
Police hope Captain Amazing
will help in the search for Hunt...
...but have, so far, failed to contact
the city's beloved superhero.
He makes a wonderful trophy,
don't you think?
I think we need to talk
about your plans here.
You know my plans, Lancie.
Tomorrow night...
...I'm going to kill you.
That's the part
that really doesn't work for me.
When the clock strikes 12:00...
...cuckoo, cuckoo... will be dead...
...and my city will be given
a new state of mind.
You must go with
what you're comfortable with...
...but, I just keep coming back
to this place.
I'm spitballing here,
but maybe we release...
...the Captain to the authorities.
I say you're completely reformed. Wink.
There's rejoicing in the streets.
Then, at that point, you do
the whole destruction-of-the-city thing.
I mean, is it a perfect plan?
And I think that's what I like about it.
Okay, that's great. Turn off the lights now.
It was just an idea!
Wait, I got a better one.
You let me live, I am your sidekick.
I'm like Amazing Boy or....
-Are you sure Captain Amazing is in there?
-Yeah, I'm sure. Let's go.
Wait! Hear that?
We must have hit a trip wire.
It could be a photon eviscerator
heating up.
It could be a cybernetic atom scrambler.
They target moving objects.
Sounds more like a heat-seeking
anthrax projection gun.
-Quickly, cover your mouth.
-Let's bolt!
-Don't move!
-Don't breathe!
-Let's bolt!
-Don't move!
-Don't breathe!
-Let's bolt!
It's the sprinkler.
Isn't that just fabu? I'm positively soaked.
What do we got here?
I think they're supposed
to be jive superheroes.
They made a big mistake coming
to Casanova's place.
-What's so funny?
-That's your power? You have guns?
Couldn't you be a little more creative
than that?
Do forgive the impertinence...
...but what does a pistol
have to do with disco?
-At best.
Check out the guy with the pipe.
Are you the disco plumber?
There's no theme at all here, mates.
If you're gonna carry a chain,
make it a gold chain.
See what I'm saying?
That's just off the top of my head.
What's up, Tiger Lily?
The top of your head?
We'll never get in there.
There are too many Disco Boys.
Amazing's in there. I saw him go in.
There's never any evil trios, are there?
No, they've all got to travel in gangs
like little babies.
-Maybe it's time to level the playing field.
I'm talking about recruiting.
There are many guys who'd kill
to get in on our action.
-Plenty of poseurs, you mean.
-Yeah, maybe a few.
But there's got to be a couple of guys
out there, like Human Torch, before he hit.
Or like a guy who can shoot
stinging foam into your eyes.
Or something like that.
-Well, there's the Sphinx, of course.
-The what?
-The Sphinx.
-I know this guy.
Big crimefighter from down south.
Big-league hitter down there.
-What's his power?
-He's terribly mysterious.
That's it? That's his power?
He's mysterious?
-Terribly mysterious.
-Plus, he can, like...
...cut guns in half with his mind.
Really? I hadn't heard that.
We'll track this Sphinx down.
Meantime, I have an idea
where we can get another guy.
I'm free for lunch tomorrow.
How about you?
Nothing I couldn't move around.
Listen, why don't you guys go on ahead?
I got to take care of something.
Oh, I see.
Good cause there,
saving homeless animals.
Hog queen?
-You're into motorcycles.
Not really.
'Cause I got a motorcycle.
Yeah, what kind?
-It's a Harley.
-A Harley?
Compatible. It's a Harley compatible.
Basically, the same engineering.
I hope we're cool about last night.
Last night?
Like I said, I was kind of
in scary mode back there.
Sometimes that comes off
as a little threatening or whatever.
I don't find you threatening...
You're very kind. all.
I still feel like I should make it up
to you somehow, just in some way.
I should take you out to dinner or
something to make up for being so scary....
I'm really busy.
Our little chess game continues.
We're looking for the one
they call "Invisible Boy."
All my life, I've been ignored by people.
Finally, after years of being overlooked...
...l found I have the power to disappear.
-It's real ironic how it happened 'cause--
-Can we come in?
-Yeah, sure. Come on.
-Thank you.
Dad, I'm going to my room
with three strange men.
-And that's pretty much it.
-So, let me get this straight.
-You are capable of becoming invisible?
-But you can't give us a demonstration?
I can only become invisible
when no one's watching.
So, you're only invisible to yourself?
No. If I look at myself,
I become visible again.
So, you can only become invisible
when absolutely nobody is watching you?
-Do forgive our incredulity...
...but I wonder how you can be certain
you've achieved transparency?
When you go invisible... can feel it.
-I'm leaving.
-Thanks. It was nice to have met you.
Wait, guys. Don't go.
Where are you guys going?
Can I come?
Look, no offense, kid, but...
...we're going up against a really powerful
supervillain, Casanova Frankenstein.
That means we got to find a lot
of superheroes quickly.
We have no idea where to even start--
I know tons of superheroes.
-I'm sure you know a lot--
-No, seriously.
I'm always at costume shops,
martial-arts stores...
...talking to guys, making connections.
If you want to break in,
you got to network...
...and I know how to network.
-Sorry, kid.
-Come on.
Haven't you guys ever been a kid?
Haven't you guys ever had a dream?
Let me see, who else have I met?
There's the Pincher.
The Pickler.
Princess Headbutt.
White Flight and the Black Menace.
They work together.
Slow down, slow down.
Then there's Professor Pink Belly...
...and Lucky Pierre and The French Tickler.
"French Tickler."
-You've got all their telephone numbers?
-Yeah, most of them.
We've got to figure out a way
to get them all in one place.
-Some kind of a tryout.
-Yes, a tryout.
Throw in a barbecue and a few kegs,
they'll all show up.
The mooch factor is high with this crowd.
A barbecue. That's a good idea.
What? Bugger all, it's the Spleen.
Play dead.
-Who's that?
-Turn your head. Don't say anything.
Hi, fellas.
Word on the street is
you're looking for superheroes.
-Not really.
-Actually, we're just leaving.
Rotten luck.
Here we go.
-Perfect timing.
-That's for you.
-Hamburger, right?
-Yes, thank you.
Why are you guys always dissing me?
It hurts my feelings.
I'm a superhero, too. I have powers.
Really? Like what?
So glad you asked.
-Oh, no.
-Excuse me.
Excuse me.
It all started
when I was just 13 years of age.
One day, while walking with friends...
...l accidentally cut the cheese.
In my adolescent awkwardness...
...l blamed it on an old gypsy woman
who happened to be passing by.
Big mistake!
The gypsy woman placed a curse
upon my head.
Because I'd smelt it...
...she decreed I would forevermore
be he who dealt it!
-Let me illustrate.
-No, you don't have to.
It's not necessary, really.
Let's see.
Seven meters.
Air speed: normal.
Compensate for air conditioning.
-Pull my fingers.
-Don't do it.
Oh, dear God.
S! B! D!
Silent, but deadly.
-That's good shooting.
-That was amazing!
It's disgusting. Don't encourage him.
You guys are recruiting for superheroes.
Where are the tryouts?
We don't know yet.
Once we do, we'll contact you.
Bet we'd get a big turnout if we did it
somewhere with a swimming pool.
Oh, no.
Absolutely not. Nope.
I don't deserve this.
I know.
-A lot of other men I could have married.
-I understand.
If one person vomits in my pool,
I'll divorce you.
That's fair.
Come on, kids!
State your name and power.
I am the Waffler.
With my griddle of justice,
I bash the enemy in the head...
...or I burn them like so.
Don't do that.
I also have my truth syrup,
which is low fat.
And I'm working on a theme song.
"Waffle Man, I am the Waffler
"Golden, crispy, bad guys are history"
And I'm running. Just think about it.
Do you have a health plan?
Maybe dental? Eye?
-Hi. I am Pencilhead.
And I am Son of Pencilhead!
-We erase crime.
-Two generations of....
Yes, thank you.
-Did I do all right?
-Yes, I think they liked us.
I'm the Ballerina Man.
I don't need to see that.
-I am--
-You copied me.
-You copied me.
-Did not!
Ladies, now let's play nicely.
I'd say there's potential...there.
I be the Bullfighter. I fight the bull!
Greetings, fellow crime fighters.
I am Radio Man.
I am Squeegeeman.
-Do you sense its power?
P.M.S. Avenger. I work four days a month.
Is there a problem with that?
-Whatever you say.
-We'll get back to you.
-Quite all right.
Okay, that's it.
That was a complete waste of time.
Like so many things we do.
Hi. Am I too late to try out?
-What time is it?
-I don't have a watch on.
Sorry. You'll have to pretend
to be a superhero somewhere else.
Really? I see.
That's fine.
Look out!
I guess I'll just have
to take my ball and go home.
-You can't go.
-Where you going?
-That was cool.
-One second.
-Stop her.
-Hold on.
-Stop her.
Settle down.
That was great.
We could squeeze in one more interview.
Yes, seeing how you schlepped
your ball all this way.
-Appreciate that. Thanks.
-You're really good.
What's up? I'm the Spleen.
I'm the Bowler. How're you doing?
You're very attractive.
Why don't you...
...tell us about yourself.
Help us understand why
we should choose you...
...over all the other qualified applicants.
-What other qualified applicants?
-Eddie, please.
Start at the top.
Where did you get your powers?
I got my powers from my father.
Who's he?
Have you ever heard of
Carmine the Bowler?
Have we ever heard....
Blimey, don't tell us
you're the Bowler's daughter.
I remember there being a little controversy
around his death.
The police said it was an accident.
He came home late one night
and fell down an elevator shaft...
...onto some bullets.
I've always suspected a bit of foul play.
As have l.
Daddy's little girl is all grown up...
...looking for a little revenge?
Yeah, that is it.
Is there a problem with that?
-Why don't you tell me?
-You tell me.
-Why don't you tell me?
-Why don't you tell me?
-Why don't you tell me?
-Why don't you tell me?
All right, you've seen what I can do.
You want to use my talents or not?
If you don't, I seek another cabal.
-We definitely need you.
Bowler. Evelyn.
Will you join our little ragtag trio?
I think you mean quartet--
What are you talking about?
There's five of us.
Nobody's green lit any new memberships,
so just chill out.
You've got a good arm. I'll give you that.
-But we are the lead cadre--
-You're in.
-Welcome aboard.
-Guys, what are--
-What? What's the problem?
-Nothing. No problem. Welcome aboard.
Are Spleen and I on the team or not?
In my opinion,
which used to matter around here...
...we shouldn't be flinging memberships... every guy who puts together
matching gloves and boots.
Just be sure to jump in
when the action starts.
-You do your share, we'll keep you around.
You're a British man
who converted to Islam?
No. Until the early part of this century,
India was part of the British Empire...
...whose government there was called
the British Raj...
...after the Hindi word for "sovereignty."
-Wait. I'm sorry. What?
No, he's not a commie nor a fruit.
His ignorance embarrasses me.
Am I to understand you've inserted
your father's skull...
...inside of that ball for bowling?
No. The guy at the pro shop did it.
That was Casanova's limo.
You bet your sweet bippy it was.
Let's turn this sucker around!
He's probably got Amazing in there.
-Here we go.
-I feel car sick.
So tell me, who can we count on seeing
at my banquet tomorrow?
All the top gangs will be there, Cas.
They want to know
what you got up your sleeve.
Mr. Casanova...
...l think we're being followed.
Let us say hello.
-What's he doing?
-He's either very smart or very dumb.
I would like a double burger
with large fries.
Do you boys want something to drink?
We think you did something bad
to Captain Amazing.
We'd like you to tell us where he is.
Captain who?
This name does not ring any bells with me.
I don't like your tone, Frankenpuss.
Do yourself a favor
and don't punch my clock.
I'm a Pantera's box
you do not want to open.
It is Pandora.
Please don't correct me. It sickens me.
You guys never learn, do you?
Apparently we don't, ass.
-I know you.
-You don't know me.
-You knew my father.
Carmine? The Bowler?
-You're Baby Bowler?
-Is that a problem?
I'm the guy that gave your daddy the shaft.
This is the last time I'm going to ask you:
Where is Captain Amazing?
And a Diet Pepsi with a little bit of ice.
Hey, Shov!
Boys, let's go.
Fork yourself!
-Come on, Roy, let's get out of here.
-Come on, Furious! Let's go!
People who live in glass houses, shouldn't,
because this is what happens!
Come on! That's enough!
Come on. Get out of the way.
"The roof is on fire! The roof!
"The roof! The roof is on fire!
"We don't need no water!"
Here comes Daddy.
Go, go!
I would like to make a toast
to our first straight-out victory.
The relationship you have with your
mother affects every dynamic in your life.
-It's true, quite true.
-What? What?
Yes, I know a father's role is vital
in a child's life as well.
No, I'm not disrespecting you.
You have to allow me
to have conversations in a bar...
...and talk to my new friends.
Anyway, I'm an adult now.
Do you want to go back in the bag?
Is that how we're gonna do it now?
You make the rules.
If you don't zip it....
I was going to say that parents
can be quite problematic.
Tell me about it.
There's not enough beer in the world.
I'm sorry.
"I'm sorry."
You've got to live in truth.
The woman's a tiger.
Barkeep, another round...
...for my sweet team of superfriends.
Barkeep, another round for the super...
That's what's so cool about this team.
Everyone has their own powers
for all these different situations.
Pull my finger.
-I was just thinking.
I was wondering when
we might see your superpower.
It'll happen, kid. Don't worry.
-I say, "sabotage."
The Shoveler is hammered!
The Shoveler is hammered!
What's the name of this team?
How about the Super Squad?
How about the Six Dead Guys
in Their Stupid Costumes?
No. The Magnificent Dead Guys.
How about that?
What about the Legendary Super Freaks?
Way too positive. They totaled our car.
I love you!
Six Very Nearly Dead Guys
Who Had A Temporary Reprieve.
-That's it. That's your name.
-Six Jive Turkeys.
-Dig, man?
-Yeah! Dig, man!
That's your name.
Kill you later, Superlosers!
Criminy. You're the Sphinx.
And you are fools.
Tonight... proved...
...your inexperience.
The wise man knows that he is weakest...
...when he thinks himself strong.
Terribly mysterious.
Casanova Frankenstein... no ordinary villain.
To fight him... must have extraordinary skill.
Thank you for that little piece
of information.
-I wouldn't have thought--
-Excuse me!
-Do you have any manners?
-I don't know. Do l?
-I don't know. Do you?
-Do l?
-Why don't you tell me?
-Why don't you tell me?
-I don't know.
-Do I mind what?
We'll have to separate you two.
Is that what you want?
You want to be separated?
He started it.
You must be like the wolf pack...
...not like the six-pack.
Teamwork. Yes!
You are not ready
to face so great an enemy.
Not until you have vanquished
the enemy within yourselves.
It's cool, isn't it?
It goes right up to the point of being,
It's leadership.
It's what we've been missing.
Yes, I quite agree.
Sphinx, will you guide
our motley little gang of men-at-arms?
Wait a minute.
Are you serious? Come on.
Will you shape us, mold us?
Please unify us and make us whole.
To learn my teachings...
...l must first teach you... to learn.
Learn to hide your strikes
from your opponent...
...and you'll more easily strike his hide.
-How many weapons do you wield?
-Just one, Sphinx.
No. The fist, the knee,
the elbow, the head!
You must lash out with every limb,
like the octopus who plays the drums.
Why am I doing this again?
When you can balance a tack hammer
on your head... will head off your foes
with a balanced attack.
And why am I wearing
the watermelon on my feet?
I don't remember telling you to do that.
Wait a minute. Wait.
I believe in my powers.
"l believe in my powers."
I believe in the powers of my teammates.
"l believe in the powers of my teammates."
I trust in my powers.
"l trust in my powers."
I trust in the powers of my teammates.
"l trust in the powers of my teammates."
This team must learn to work together...
...or mark my words... will be torn apart!
...gather round.
Gather round. Embrace one another.
Gather round.
Embrace one another quickly.
Why do you stand aside
while the others practice?
That's not practicing.
That's group hugging.
We should be busting in
on Casanova right now.
He who questions training,
only trains himself at asking questions.
-Who was looking for the pinking shears?
-That was me.
Yes... well on your new costumes.
For when you care for what is outside...
...what is inside cares for you.
The clock is ticking here.
Are we gonna sew dresses all day
or are we gonna rescue Amazing?
-I need a thimble. Does anybody--
-Patience, my son.
To summon your power
for the coming conflict... must first have power
over that which conflicts you.
Am I the only one who finds these sayings
just a little formulaic?
"lf you wanna push it down,
you have to pull it up."
"lf you want to go left, you must go right."
Your temper is very quick,
but until you learn to master your rage--
Your rage will become your master?
That's what you were gonna say, right?
-Not necessarily.
That's it. I'm out of here.
Thanks for the advice, Mr. Mysterioso,
but it's time to get busy.
-Come on, Eddie. Let's go.
-No, Roy.
-He's getting results.
-The result is we're all out of here.
Come on, Jeff. Let's peel some lilies.
I don't want to leave the Sphinx.
How about the rest of you?
Do you want to play Suzie Homemaker,
or do you want to be superheroes?
Okay, I don't need a compass to tell me
which way the wind shines.
-Let's talk about this.
-No, let's not talk about it!
Do you want to sit here
making Halloween outfits...
...or do you want to take care of business?
Well, I guess from now on
I ride in a wolf pack of one.
-We should go after him.
-He's okay.
-Just let him go. He's a baby.
-We've never gone into battle without him.
If you love him, why not marry him?
-Why don't you marry him?
-Why don't you?
Bowler, Shoveler, please!
Sphinx, what wisdom can you give us
in our most clouded hour?
Yeah, what do we do?
The loss of manpower can be replaced
by the addition of firepower.
Well, I won't use guns.
I've been clear about that.
He won't even use a knife.
You're not going to start
with that meshugas again?
Casanova will have many weapons.
To beat him, you will have to have
more than forks and flatulence.
"Dr. A. Heller. Weapons designer...
"...innovator, inventor, world changer."
Why does he live
in a deserted amusement park?
Because he's an eccentric genius.
I'll take point. You two flank.
Let's triangulate.
-Equilateral or isosceles?
-Just go.
Who would want to rent a chicken?
It's weird in here. It's scary and weird.
There's another chicken.
Crazy chicken world.
Dr. Heller?
We come in peace.
Shovel Head?
The Shoveler.
We met at the old folks' home.
Of course.
Fork Man?
No, I'm the Spleen. To see my power,
pull my finger.
-Please, don't!
-No, sir, don't!
Dr. Heller, we're on a mission.
We've come for weapons.
Shouldn't we see a diploma
or something first?
You came to the right place, baby.
Step into my office.
Where are your friends?
What friends?
Your friends.
I thought you guys
were in a club or something.
-You mean a team? A Superteam?
Apparently, it's now
the Super Sphinx Team or something.
-You had a falling out?
-Yeah, kind of.
Is it okay if I just have the coffee?
-I'm not very hungry.
What time do you get off work?
Half hour.
No reason.
I was just thinking maybe I could....
It might be a good idea
if I walked you home.
The city's been real, real dangerous...
...since Amazing went M.I.A.
I've been working on
some jujitsu moves that....
It'd probably be safer
on everybody's part if....
Also, it would be great to just...
...walk you home.
This will even things up a little bit.
What is it?
-Look at this!
-Don't point at me.
You're gonna kill somebody.
Listen, everything here is non-lethal.
"Non-lethal"? What?
I don't make anything that's deadly.
I see. How delightfully eccentric...
...while simultaneously
being a waste of our time.
-No offense. Shall we?
-Thank you, Doctor.
-I said good day.
-See you, Doc.
That is why, in general,
a mad scientist is less desirable...
...than a garden-variety scientist.
-Look out!
-Watch out!
Doc, you're a genius.
A canned tornado?
Totally non-lethal, but totally effective.
What is this thing
you were handling before?
That's a shrinker.
How do you know?
A manual. Cool.
That's a high-temperature,
fabric-adhesive, liquid projector...
...based on simple dry-cleaning technology.
You aim that at a guy...
...his clothes get so tight
he can't even breathe.
I can trick that out with a holster.
It comes with a leather carrying case.
It's got a wad cutter and a full warranty.
Nicely done.
-What do you call this?
-Careful, careful. That's a blame-thrower.
-"A blame-thrower"?
-I'm sorry.
Your bad attitude is hurting this team!
-Stop spitting! I already took a shower!
-You need another one, 'cause you stink!
-Want me to pop that zit for you?
-I'm really shaking!
-You're always spraying!
-I'm sorry if I spit all the time!
-I'm sorry.
-I'm sorry.
No, no.
-Doctor, you are a genius.
-That's what the card says.
I still want to be with them
when they go rescue Amazing.
So why don't you just go back?
No, I just left this morning.
That would be--
-This is my place.
-That would be ridiculous.
They're your friends. They'll understand.
It's clearly what you want to do.
That actually could work.
I'm Mr. Furious, right?
I'm unpredictable. I'm a loose cannon.
I go storming off.
Why can't I come storming back?
-I mean, it's all in how you play it, right?
-Or don't play it.
Just go back, say you're sorry
and help them save Captain Amazing.
You think there's a really angry way
I could say I'm sorry?
'Cause that's kind of my....
I gotta stick with the anger thing
'cause people like that.
Maybe people like you
for who you really are.
You know?
Okay, I'm gonna go.
You should go find your friends.
Now, the three of you
will be like the eagle's claw.
You will snatch up the hostage
and carry him to safety.
We three scouts are like the eagle's eye:
ever watchful for danger.
-Are you ready?
Then let operation Three-Eyed,
Three-Legged Eagle begin.
I think not, my friend.
Silly twit.
Give me a second.
-What's up?
Not a lot. What's up with you?
Nothing much.
-Have you seen my address book?
-No. What did it look like?
It's denim. It says "Hang loose" on it
with a picture of a kitten.
You should probably think
about where you saw it last.
I should probably....
Eddie, there's something I want to say.
I'm angry about being left out
of this mission...
...and about what's happening
with this team, but I'm....
Oh, boy.
Temperature rising.
Vision blurring.
Rage taking over.
I got an idea.
Why don't you come with us?
Rage subsiding.
Pulse slowing.
Anger fading.
That was quick thinking, Eddie.
Well, I wouldn't want anyone to get hurt.
Drink, drink!
Right, then. I'll go and scout out a way in.
-What should the signal be?
-"Caree, caroo."
No, no, what about: "whippoorwill"?
-No, "Caree, caroo."
-Yes, but isn't that better?
-Not interested.
-Enough with the cuckoo!
-We must find an open window.
-That's what I said.
Go, go!
Does everyone have a drink?
-Yes, we all do!
-You're all good?
Good. Well, it is wonderful in my heart... see so many familiar faces once again.
The Susies: assassins from the East.
The Suits: downsizing all those
who dare oppose them.
The Furriers: always dressed to kill.
The Frat Boys: still on probation
for lethal hazing.
Phi Zeta!
Of course, the Not So Goody Mob:
Putting the rhyme into crime!
The pleasure's all mine, Frankenstein.
We're about to perpetrate some evil
on the Champion City people.
Rappin', snappin', cappin'.
Tonight, we are having quite a party.
A surprise party.
I have a little something up my sleeve...
...and I'm not just talking
about the wart on my elbow.
I have created a beautiful machine...
...that is going to encourage
our fellow citizens... share my vision...
...of the world!
Can you dig it?
What about Captain Amazing?
That is an excellent question, Big Tobacco.
What will we do about the greatest
superhero Champion City has ever known?
For the answer,
I want you all to walk this way.
Dude, can we bring the brewskis?
Yes, of course.
You may absolutely bring the brewskis.
Things look pretty quiet to me.
Invisible Boy, did you just let one go?
-No, that wasn't me.
-Well, it wasn't me.
Don't run! He'll shoot!
Is he doing what I think he's doing?
Just go with it.
-Can anybody see anything?
-Who said "hey"?
-Not me.
Eddie, you don't have to say,
"Not me," okay?
-If someone says, "Who?" and you say--
-Morons, over here.
It's Captain Amazing!
-We've been looking for you.
-Turn on the light switch behind you.
We meet again, Captain.
-We're here to rescue you.
I'm Blue Raja. Do you recall me?
Master of silverware?
You said to keep up the good work
after the Red Eye skirmish.
I meet so many people in this business,
but I think so.
You two, locate the master
ignition switch on the main console.
Could you open that up?
You'll be out in two shakes of a lamb's tail.
-Frightfully uncomfortable.
-How does this work?
-I've seen one of these.
You've got to push this thing in
and twist it.
-Don't force it!
-She's right, my little friend.
This contraption is a weapon
of mass destruction.
Casanova plans to turn it
against the city tonight at midnight.
Something's happening.
Very good. On the wall to your left
you should see two toggles side-by-side.
"Toggles"? What do you mean?
You talking about switches?
-I see them, Captain.
-Thank you.
-Flip the first toggle.
-Excellent work. Now, flip the--
-Jolly good work, team!
Could you just stay over there, please?
Of course.
-Now flip the second toggle.
-Do as he says.
The man knows what he's saying.
Captain, I'm just gonna ask you directly.
Do you know billionaire Lance Hunt?
It's me.
No, I'm kidding.
I've always wanted to do that.
-What's next?
-I just told you, flip the second toggle.
-What do you mean?
-Flip the toggle twice?
-No, no.
Don't do that. Just flip it again now.
One time. Flip it.
Does he understand what I'm asking?
Hold on a second.
Exactly how many toggle flips in toto...
...are involved in this procedure?
I just.... It'!
-Flip it!
-Everybody, hold the phone.
You phrased that incorrectly.
How many toggle flips are needed...
...not counting the gratuitous toggle flip
you may have asked for... a moment of panic.
-Flip it!
Could we just start again?
Is there a reset button on this thing?
No, you freak, there's no reset button.
Flip the switch, lady.
Don't stare at me.
Lift your left arm. Flip it, moron!
-You're a moron!
-I am not!
-Don't call her a moron. That's not cool.
-Thank you.
-I will do it!
-Flip the switch.
It's this one, yes?
Wrong switch.
Everybody heard me say,
"Reset button," right?
My God, we killed him.
What do you mean "we"? I was right here.
I'm gonna check his pulse.
I don't think he'll pull through.
Somebody's coming.
We gotta get out of here.
Everybody should just keep
holding their horses.
Go, go, go.
God in heaven!
-This sucker's dead!
-What happened to him?
As you can see...
...l have taken Captain Amazing...
...out of the picture.
It's time for us to rule.
Tonight at midnight,
I'm going to do to Champion City...
...what I have done
to its greatest superhero.
There'll still be time to go up,
get down and boogie.
-Come on. Let's get out of here.
-Where's Captain Amazing?
-There's been a bit of a cock-up.
-Raja murdered him.
Guys, I think we got bigger fish
to fry right now.
-What the hell was that machine?
-I don't know.
But I know where we can go to find out.
The vermin are back, Tony.
Vermin should be exterminated, Casanova.
A fish fork is no match for my machine!
But I think we should take out
some insurance.
Don't you think?
It's a psychofrakulator.
It creates a cloud of radically fluctuating
free-deviant chaotrons...
...which penetrate the synaptic relays.
It's concatenated with
a synchronous transport switch...
...that creates a virtual tributary.
It's focused onto a biobolic reflector.
And what happens is
that hallucinations become reality...
...and the brain is literally fried
from within.
-Where would you get it?
-I don't know, they said it couldn't be built.
The equations were so complex that
any of the scientists who worked on it...
...wound up in an insane asylum.
Which is where Casanova's been
for the last 20 years.
If he uses it, it'll waste Champion City!
-Not "if." "When."
-We need Captain Amazing.
Unfortunately, we just killed him.
No, unfortunately, you killed him.
Because you have problems at home
doesn't mean you can kill people.
"Sorry. Mummy. I'm English.
I didn't mean it."
K-l-L-L-E-D. You killed him.
You killed him. You hit the switch.
It's the same difference. He's still dead.
-You did kind of--
Sphinx, what in heaven's name do we do?
...the true hero is the one
with the courage to run away.
-I like the way this man thinks.
-Let's run.
We can't run.
Yes. It's been established that we can run.
This is egg salad loaded with cholesterol.
My wife won't even let me touch it.
Hardly seems to matter now.
Chances are, we're already dead.
Amazing is gone.
There's no use waiting for the cavalry,
because, as of now, the cavalry is us.
-Yeah, but I don't wanna get frakulated.
-We still get frakulated.
-This is our fight, whether we like it or not.
We're not your classic superheroes.
We're not the favorites.
We're the other guys.
We're the guys nobody ever bets on.
But I'll tell you what I think.
You and that ball of yours
have an appointment you must keep.
Invisible Boy,
I think it's time you were seen.
Sphinx, you have trained us well.
Dr. Heller, you might
just have given us the edge we need.
Spleen, I don't want to stand behind you.
But I'll fight beside you with pride.
Jeff, you've got a rare and beautiful gift.
The city needs you tonight. And, Roy... all the years I've known you,
I've never seen you walk away from a fight.
You lifted a city bus once.
I think you've got what it takes
to handle Casanova.
We're all in over our heads,
and we know it.
But if we take on this fight,
those of us who survive it...
...will forever after show our scars
with pride and say:
"That's right. I was there.
I fought the good fight."
So, what do you say?
Do we all gather together
and go kick some Casanova butt...
...or do I eat this sandwich?
I say, what the fork. Let's do it.
If we're gonna bust into that mansion
you need more than your car.
At the auto yard,
there's this old Herkimer battle jitney.
Wait. You have a Herkimer battle jitney?
That's the finest non-lethal
military vehicle ever made.
All right. We'll meet at the junkyard
and go from there.
I shall need more forks, I'm afraid.
Those who have loved ones,
say good-bye before we go.
You may not get another chance.
Zei gezunt.
Hey, Mom.
Jeffrey, what are you doing?
I was just....
I'm a superhero, Mother.
A superhero?
An effete British superhero, to be precise.
I am pilfering your tableware
because I hurl it.
I hurl it with a deadly accuracy.
The Blue Raja is my name.
I don't wear much blue,
and I speak in a British accent.
If you know your history, it makes sense.
The point is, your boy's
a Limey fork-flinger, Mother.
Hard cheese to swallow, but there it is.
What will the bridge club think?
You need more forks?
These belonged to
your great-great-grandmother.
I was saving these for your wedding day.
But, from the looks of it,
that day is probably a long way off.
Mom, you're taking this incredibly well.
I've always known you were special...
...but I just never realized how special.
I'd better get going.
I've got a city to save.
Do the accent.
I'd love to stay and chitchat,
but I fear I must away with me.
Our metropolis is
in the clutches of madmen.
-I really should get going.
Thanks, Ma.
I said I'd leave you, Eddie. I meant it.
The city's in peril, Lucille.
We're the best hope they've got.
Eddie, please don't start.
I don't expect you to believe me.
I just came by to tell you...
...that I love you.
Tell the kids I love them.
And now...
-Good-bye, Eddie.
I won't be here when you come home.
That's a chance I'll have to take.
Otherwise, there may not be a home
to come back to.
Wish me luck.
-You okay?
-I wanted to say I had a great time tonight.
And you were really nice to me.
And I would love to ask you out sometime.
But if I don't call you,
I want you to know it's because I'm dead.
Me and my team are going
to take on Casanova Frankenstein.
It's pretty much a suicide mission.
So, if there is anything
that you want to say to me... would probably be a good time
to say it, just 'cause....
-Yeah, I got a question for you.
-Cool. Kick it.
What's your name?
Do you mean my secret identity?
'Cause I couldn't....
No, I just mean your name.
My name.
It's Phoenix.
Phoenix Dark.
Dirk. Phoenix...
I was christened Dirk Steele,
and I changed it to Phoenix.
Forget about it. It's okay.
It's Roy.
That's my name. My name is....
My real name is Roy.
Just be Roy.
Roy. I'm Roy.
Yes, I'm Roy.
-Roy. Who is Roy? Roy is who?
-He's freaking out, man.
Where's the guy who pretends
not to be Roy?
We've had quite enough of that. Stop it.
Just snap out of it. We're tired of it.
I'm a true wanna-be,
in the worst sense of the....
You guys have to fight this battle
without me.
If you doubt your superpowers,
you are shafted.
If I had any superpowers to doubt,
I'd be in trouble, but I don't.
What do I do? All I do is go....
Roy, what are you talking about?
You lifted a bus once.
Precisely. That story's legendary.
It was really more of a push than a lift.
That still takes
incredible superhuman strength.
It does. To push an entire bus
out the way.
Actually, the driver had his foot
on the accelerator... get it going, then it actually was me.
But he kind of....
Excuse me.
It starts a process which results
in an accelerated flow of electrons...
...that creates a powerful magnetic force.
This is basically like a huge electromagnet.
Actually, it's an electro-nuclear-magnet.
It's the next inevitable phase.
-Vis, can you close up those jockey boxes?
-Right on it.
Let's get suited up.
We're out of here in five.
It's time.
Let's go.
-I already called it, didn't l?
-Have a seat, my friend.
-Everybody ready?
-We have lift-off.
-May the forks be with us.
-Sorry. Too much throttle.
-That's cool. I'm just gonna go.
-No, sit down!
-All right, here we go.
Vaya con Dios.
Somebody do something. We need him.
Let's do this. You're a very furious man.
-Do you understand that?
You got a lot to be furious about,
and I'll tell you why.
You're not well-liked.
You're abrasive and off-putting.
You try to be pithy,
but your wit is a hindrance...
...therefore, nothing is provocative.
It's just mixed metaphors.
Doesn't that make you angry?
-Does it infuriate you?
It should. Are you angry? Come on, man!
-Your penmanship is atrocious.
-You dress like a male prostitute.
Get real! I have no powers whatsoever.
If he has no powers,
maybe I've got no powers.
-Maybe I can't turn invisible at all.
-Do not go there, son!
When you doubt your powers,
you give power to your doubts.
I don't mean to be an alarmist,
but it's 11:30 already.
Thirty minutes till Casanova
blows up the city.
Listen. We've got a blind date
with destiny.
And it looks like she's ordered the lobster.
Hang on!
We're going to ram the gate!
What do you think?
Should we knock or just let ourselves in?
Hit the ground!
They're shooting!
I hope this magnet thing works.
It's working.
Go! Go!
Quickly! Everybody into the disco room!
Everyone, through here. Keep moving.
Focus, people. Focus. Let's go.
Laser eye.
I should have brought my large pie server.
If we can't get through that door,
this battle is over.
This is it.
My time has come.
What are you talking about?
-Wait. Invisible Boy.
-I wouldn't do that, if--
-Come back here. You'll be cremated.
-It's all about me now.
-I'm the only one that can save us.
-He's right.
-Good luck, son.
-Nobody look at me.
-Don't look at him, or it won't work.
-I am transparent.
I am like the window. I am see-through.
I'm like Saran Wrap.
I did it! I'm invisible!
I really do have superpowers.
Can you see me?
Two hands there, son.
Maybe you should put some shorts on
if you want to keep fighting evil.
Furriers, you will stay here
and delay the attackers.
Not So Goody Mob, fight from behind.
The rest of you, into the atrium.
Spread yourselves out
for a second wave of attack.
The door. Door.
On three. One, two, three.
Shrink 'em.
I say, they've gone from junior
to missy petite.
My dress!
Now that's a wedgie
she won't soon forget.
My pants feel like they're shrinking, too.
-Blame thrower!
-Look out!
I got a bone to pick with you!
Hold it!
I'm boss!
You know what? Y'all make me sick.
Give me that gun.
-I got 'em.
-Disco forever!
Invisible Boy, Spleen. Susies.
Dig this, Shovel Man.
Duck! It's the Susies!
-Grab the gun.
-It's stuck.
Coast clear?
Shoot anyway.
-I'm scared.
-No, you're not scared. Be strong.
Say it with me,
"l ain't scared of no Susies."
-I am scared.
-Say "I'm not scared of no Susies."
Come on. You ready?
Let's go!
I'm hit!
-I'm hit! Medic! Man down!
-Man down! I can't feel my ass.
I can't feel my ass!
Your powers still work?
My powers? Weapons check.
Fire in the hole!
-It'll do.
-Go check on Spleen, okay?
-Okay. All right.
You ought to run, Tony P.
You can't hurt me, Baby Bowler.
'Cause I'm protected... the god of hair care.
And it's time to send you
back to your daddy.
-You killed my father.
-That's right. 'Cause I'm a killer.
And you're not. Let's face it, kid.
You don't have the guts to kill me.
You're right.
I don't have the guts to kill you.
Because I'm better than you.
Yeah, that's right.
A lot better.
I may even find the courage
to forgive you someday.
Carmine, on the other hand, feels
differently than I do about forgiveness.
Now I'm going back to graduate school.
That was the agreement.
We're doing it. We're winning.
We're gonna pull this off.
I wouldn't be so sure about that.
Tell your funny-looking friends
to put down their weapons, Mr. Furious.
Get out of here. He's crazy.
Save yourselves.
Put them down or I will slash
your girlfriend's pretty little throat.
Eddie, Jeff, do what he says.
Thank you.
It's so easy to get the best of people
when they care about each other.
Which is why evil will always
have the edge.
You good guys are always
so bound by the rules.
You see, I kill my own men.
Lucky me.
I get the girl.
Don't worry.
It will all be over so very quickly.
What are you doing?
They ripped the "Q" section
out of my dictionary...
...'cause I don't know the meaning
of the word "quit."
You want a little fisticuffs? Okay.
Get him, Roy.
Come on, Roy!
It's the funkyskunkulator!
-We've got to stop it.
-Don't touch any toggles.
Rage taking over.
Ja. We've heard all that before.
No, no.
Rage really taking over.
Frak you later, Frankenpuss.
Get out of here.
Hit the deck.
How do we shut this thing down?
Group hug!
-Hurry up!
-Get her closer to the hole!
Dad, this is the way it has to be.
The upshot is you won't be killed
because you're already dead.
No, I'm not going with you.
If there's a time for separation,
let me tell you something, this is it.
-Lift me up.
-Push her up.
Help me lift her up.
You can do it. Hold on.
-Do it!
-I love you, Dad!
-Run! Run!
-Let's get out of here!
Run for your lives!
Watch out!
No one could survive the chaos
we've just witnessed here.
But as the dust begins to settle over
the ruins of Casanova's mansion...
...the question remains:
Who were these brave heroes that
gave their lives to save our city tonight?
Did that frakulator work, or what?
What's the deal?
Something's moving.
People are coming out.
-Could you tell us what's going on?
-Hi. Excuse me.
Excuse me. Can you tell us
what happened here tonight?
We did it. We won.
Hey, that's my team.
We struck down evil
with the mighty sword of teamwork...
-...and the hammer of not-bickering.
-We are number one.
All others are number two or lower.
-Who are you guys?
-They call me the Shoveler.
That's my dad.
My hero.
I'm the Bowler. Hello.
Blue Raja, master of silverware. Hi, Mom.
I mean, cheerio, Mummy.
And you, sir.
What's your name and your superpower?
My name's Roy.
I'm in a super amount of pain.
Could you leave me alone?
His name's Mr. Furious, and his power
comes from his boundless rage.
Excuse me. Could I say something?
I think we would all like this victory... go out to all the other guys.
The people in this city...
...who are super good at their jobs
but never get credit... the lady in the D.M.V.
That's a rough job.
To the people that remember jingles
from old commercials.
People that support local music
and independent film.
The guy that drives the snowplow.
The school nurse--
Eddie, I think they got the point.
What's the name of this group?
The Super Dudes.
No, not the Super Dudes.
We don't have a name yet,
but we're definitely not the Super Dudes.
I gotta get home. It's late.
Picture, picture time.
Whatever you call them,
Champion City will forever...
...owe a debt of gratitude
to these mystery men.
Wait. That's it.
We are the Super Squad.
Alliteration in these situations is corny.
Yes, we're all very aware
that you saved the day...
...and I'm sure we'll be hearing about it
for the rest of our lives.