1
[cellphone ringing]
Hello.
Hey, Viv. Are you up?
Hmm. Barely.
How are you so perky
this early in the morning?
Well, like Mom always said,
"The early bird gets the worm."
[Vivian] She did say that.
Mostly to me.
[laughs] Another all-nighter?
Yeah, story of my life.
What's up?
Ah, just trying not to lose
my marbles at work.
My students are driving me nuts.
Ha! Story of my life.
Oh, get this.
So this little boy yesterday,
he spent two hours gluing
exactly 17 sequins onto a big red heart.
And when he was done he decided
he was allergic to girls.
Hey, a little sympathy for the boys.
They're still trying to figure it all out.
What? It's second grade.
They haven't got love
all figured out by now?
[mimics sneezing]
Maybe he's onto something.
I know for a fact
you are not allergic to girls.
So, Viv, any big plans?
You going anywhere nice, with anyone nice?
You really can't help yourself, can you?
[Michelle] Well?
Well, no.
I'm not going "anywhere nice
with anyone nice."
What about your algorithm?
Well, we haven't launched it yet.
It won't be for a couple months.
When it is,
you're going to sign up, right?
Maybe... eventually.
Well, I hope you do.
I can't wait for you to meet
your perfect match.
For you.
-My favorite.
-[laughs]
Oh!
Three-flavored pudding.
You get me!
Oh, let me guess.
Vanilla, butterscotch, chocolate?
It's a balanced meal.
[chuckles]
So tell me, Viv,
what exactly does a love scientist
put on their dating profile, anyway?
Software developer...
who is creating a dating algorithm
so people can find true love.
We are a lot like love scientists,
but the fellowship
is completely different.
Are you ready for eggs a la Wes Robinson?
Thank you, sweetheart.
Your, ah, eggs a la Wes Robinson
are burning.
[telephone rings]
-[Judith] Weston.
-Hello, mother.
To what do I owe this pleasure?
I've been calling you all morning.
The Nikkei has been open for hours.
I was busy.
[whispers] I have to go.
Call me.
[Judith] Wes, where do you find
these women?
I mean, doesn't it sometimes get
just a little tiresome?
So, is there a reason
you're calling so early?
Don't you have an empire to run?
[Judith] Exactly.
Your division, Robinson Tech,
is down two points.
Now, is there something
you'd like to tell me?
Hmm.
I love you...
Mother dearest?
[chuckles]
Oh, Wes.
You know, when I appointed you
head of the tech division,
I expected you to run it well.
I will.
Just after this cup of coffee.
Yeah, maybe you just don't
have the acumen I thought you had.
Or maybe you have just too many
distractions...
Maybe you should stop
worrying so much.
Oh, but, Wes, I do worry.
You know, when you were young
your father always used to say about you--
I'm not really interested
in what my father always said.
Well, all right.
Maybe this is something
you will be interested in.
If you don't manage to turn this around,
I'll have to rethink your position
in the company.
How's that?
[cellphone chirps]
[Vivian] Craft battles? Really?
You should've heard the drama
between this little boy and girl
over glitter glue.
They wound up with it in their hair.
Michelle, just tell your students
that most long term relationships
result from a mutual pursuit.
Not glitter glue.
Listen, I just got to the office
and I've got a lot of work to do today.
You work too much, you know that?
I mean, you need to take time
and enjoy life.
When's the last time you went on a date?
OK, I really got to go.
I'll talk to you later. Love you. Bye.
Love you.
Hey, guys.
It took me all night, but I think I solved
the data streaming problem.
-Ha-ha-ha!
-Way to go, Viv!
Purfect!
[Justine] Why don't you leave
that picture there,
rather than bring it back and forth
every day.
I wouldn't want Liz to be left
alone overnight.
It's a picture!
Oh, come on.
Give him a break will you.
[Justine] Ugh!
No matches again!
Justine! My Perfect Match
isn't even live yet.
-There's no one to match to.
-I know.
It's just a big fat zero is another
reminder of my lonely, pathetic life.
Well, maybe you should get a cat.
Yes!
I don't want a cat!
I want to meet a man.
A good man!
Sure, I've met a lot of men.
Sometimes more than once!
But a good one...
You know what I'm talking about.
Vivian is concentrating
on her career right now.
She solved the data streaming problem!
Thanks, George.
That's just as fulfilling
as a relationship.
Are you kidding me?
You two need to get out there!
You need to grab some hot bull
by the horns
and just hold on for dear life
and hope that he's not secretly married!
And you need to grab...
a cow by the horns?
That sounds weird.
Yeah, I should.
I mean, I can be spontaneous!
Except for Tuesdays, Thursdays
and Saturdays.
That's when I take Liz to the vet
for her diabetes medication.
Guys, dating isn't about spontaneity
or how hot somebody is.
Relationships that are based
on physical attraction
don't result in longevity or marriage!
Oh.
It's, it's about compatibility!
That's why our dating algorithm,
will be better than anything else!
There's all this stress about dating!
What to wear?
Should I shave my legs?
Of course.
Who pays the bill?
All that for someone
that you're never going to see again.
Yeah! Or they don't call you back
because you're "too aggressive"!
-Yeah, or they give you a fake number.
-[Vivian] See?
My Perfect Match takes care
of all the stress
by letting a computer
find a soulmate for you!
[office chatter]
Now that is what I call a Perfect Match!
Really?
-Good morning, Mr. Robinson.
-Adele!
Tell me what's good!
Well, you're late for the first
quarter development meeting.
Let's push that to this afternoon.
Too late! I already told them
to start without you.
What?
Well, you're not that important, anyway.
Right, I'm just the CEO of the company.
Oh! Really?
I had no idea.
Well maybe you should start
showing up to work on time!
-Maybe I should hire another secretary.
-Good luck.
We both know you'd never find anyone
prettier than me.
Or one with so many, many years
of experience.
[Adele] But somehow I just keep
getting prettier!
You'll be pleased to hear
that the programming department
has been very busy lately...
Mr. Robinson.
Sorry I'm late, everyone.
Please continue.
Right! Of course. Um...
As I was saying, we've been very busy
and I am pleased with the results
of this quarter's roll out.
We have some exciting new products
to show you
that I think you're really going to like.
Wonderful! Let's hear them.
May I introduce...
Fat Cat!
It tracks and monitors
your cat's calorie intake.
Fat...
Cat?
Yeah, for the cat lovers.
No good?
OK, um, OK!
You're going to love this one.
It's called Coffee-Mometer!
For the coffee connoisseur.
It helps the user gage their perfect
drinking temperature.
By simply inputting the start brew time
along with the region
of where the beans come from.
[Wes] Coffee-what?
This sounds pretentious.
-Can't people just use their finger?
-I... uh... I...
What else have you got?
What about...
Movie Moody.
It's really exciting!
The user takes a selfie,
and the app suggests a movie,
that, ah...
OK, I'm starting to see...
the problem... It's, um...
OK, um...
This smart-tech has no potential
for revenue!
Robinson Tech is dropping in the market,
and why?
Because we've lost touch
with what the people want!
We need to think bigger!
What else have you got?
Well, we have one more thing
in development
and it, it's still in the--
the programming stage.
What is it?
It's an online dating algorithm.
Perfect.
-[messenger chimes]
-Vivian Blair?
[Adele on speaker] Wes Robinson
needs you in the development meeting.
He wants you to present My Perfect Match.
Here's your chance, kid!
Uh, thank you. I'll be right in.
OK. OK. OK...
I can do this.
I can do this. I need my research!
-Where's my research?
-Here!
How do I look?
I don't know what to say.
I've never done this before!
Here!
Deep breaths.
You'll be fine.
-Don't be nervous.
-[George] And just smile!
Maybe don't smile.
-No?
-[George] No.
OK.
-Go on. You've got this, girl!
-I got this!
I got this! I got this.
[Vivian screams]
[Justine laughs]
[exhales sharply]
[whimpers]
Vivian Blair, is it?
Yes.
Mr. Robinson.
[Wes] I apologize for putting you
on the spot like this,
but we're all dying to hear about
My Perfect Match.
Sir, I'm more than happy to present
My Perfect Match--
-Derek!
-Yeah, I'm just--
Derek, this is Vivian's project,
I'd like to hear it from her, please.
[softly] Thank you.
Go on. Impress me.
I dare you.
[nervous exhale]
Well...
My Perfect Match...
is online dating with a twist.
Instead of swiping left or right,
based on whether you think
you will match with what you see...
Uh...
Um... [clearing throat] My research shows
that most relationships
that result in marriage
are based on compatibility,
rather than physical attraction
or say... passion.
Really?
[Vivian] Scientifically speaking, yes.
It's all in the research,
if you'll just turn to page three.
You're talking about
taking the passion out of dating?
That sounds almost as boring as Fat Cat.
[laughter]
No, I'm talking about putting
compatibility first.
People say "love is blind," but has
anyone really put that to the test?
Huh?
I'm saying, no photos.
No measurements.
My Perfect Match takes
your digital footprint
and runs the algorithm.
And then it determines the mathematical
likelihood of love between two people.
It's revolutionary, really.
See this is what I'm talking about!
She's right.
There are millions of people online
that are crazy enough to do anything
to find love.
Crazy?
No, I, I've been working on this research
for months.
It's not crazy.
My Perfect Match will work!
I don't care if it works or not.
With the right marketing,
people will buy it...
and the best time
to attract desperate daters is now.
Before Valentine's Day!
Valentine's Day--
Can I just--
Derek, pull all your people off
whatever they're doing.
I want everyone at Robinson Tech
focusing all their energy
on launching My Perfect Match
-for this Valentine's Day.
-Of course, Mr. Robinson.
Can I just...
Thank you, Vivian.
I think it's going to be revolutionary
working with you.
[laughs]
If you'll excuse me, I'm just going to...
Vivian!
Long time, no see.
-Mr. Robinson.
-[Wes] Please, call me Wes.
I would just like some clarification.
If you don't think My Perfect Match
will actually work,
why are you insisting on launching it?
Don't you have a moral obligation
to believe in the products you put out?
Professionally speaking.
Look, I don't have to believe
in something personally
to trust that it has monetary potential.
Like all the people online
that are looking to find love,
they'll just spend a bunch of money
and move on.
That's all I really care about.
Well, that's cynical!
Nothing lasts forever,
especially not love.
But with your product,
Robinson Tech can get in
on the online dating game
and get out with some capital.
There's a golf app I think has potential.
Golf?
People love golf!
Besides, you don't find love
with numbers and statistics.
You walk up to a woman in a bar,
you buy her a drink and you tell her...
"You're the most beautiful woman
in the room."
That's what women want to hear, anyway.
Not the score of their
digital compatibility!
I have spent months on this research.
It's scientifically proven!
There's nothing better than that
to base a relationship on.
My money's still on passion.
[sighs] Well...
I can tell we're not going to agree on
pretty much anything.
Thank you for your time, Mr. Robinson.
Wes.
If you'll excuse me,
I now have a lot of work to do...
apparently.
What did I say?
Well, for someone who is constantly
surrounded by women,
you really seem to know very little
about them.
And also, Ben is here to see you.
Yo! Big brother!
-Now what?
-Ouch!
Is that any way to treat a man who has
been slaving away
all day on the tennis courts?
You know, thanks to my back swing,
I just secured
an investment with the Austrians.
Ben Robinson, One. Wes Robinson, Zero.
You act like we are in some kind
of competition.
We are all invested in this company, Ben.
Come on, lighten up!
-[Ben] What's the deal?
-[Wes] Sorry.
I'm suddenly in a bit of a bad mood.
Yeah, so I've heard.
Adele texted me already,
saying Robinson Tech is pushing
an online dating app?
That's not like you.
Adele!
What? He's a Robinson too!
Actually, it's a dating algorithm.
OK, whatever.
An online dating algorithm.
It's a risky move.
Mom's not going to like this.
You leave mom to me.
I know there's a lot of competition out
there but this one's different.
I trust you, but you're still gonna
need a major marketing boost.
That's why I made a quick phone call.
-What are you doing tomorrow morning?
-Why?
Because you're going to appear on
Hello Morning.
You didn't.
Aren't I just the best brother ever?
Ben Robinson, Two.
Wes Robinson, still zero.
A live TV interview!
Ben, I don't even know
how this algorithm works yet.
How could I possibly
sell it to the masses?
Invite that pretty developer lady
with you.
Adele already told me all about her too.
Oh, she did, did she?
[Ben] Wes, relax!
I've still got your back,
as long as you've still got mine.
You'll be at rehearsal
on Saturday night, right, Best man?
-Huh? Huh?
-Of course. Of course.
Now will you get out of here, already?
You have a wedding to plan,
and I suddenly have a lot
of begging to do.
Later.
-What do you think?
-I think that looks great.
Yeah?
[door slams]
[exhales sharply]
[fast typing]
What happened in there?
[phone chimes]
Yes?
[Adele on speaker] Wes Robinson would
like to see you in his office.
Again.
[phone chirps]
Uh, I think it went well?
Yeah.
You know you could walk over
to my desk like a normal person,
instead of having your assistant page me.
Well that would mean I'd
have to fire Adele
and she wouldn't like that.
-Try it, see what happens.
-See?
And she's the only one who knows
how to work the photocopier.
What do you want?
I want you, actually.
Ah... I don't know... What do you mean?
I want you to be with me
on Hello Morning tomorrow
to promote My Perfect Match.
The TV show?
No way.
All I'm asking is for you to stand
beside me for five minutes on the show.
Yeah... I don't think so.
Come on. I can't do it without you.
Let me handle this.
Look, I get it.
Spending even one more moment
with that man
is almost as appealing as a root canal.
Yeah.
You know I can hear you.
But look at it this way.
Being on TV is great publicity
for Perfect Match.
And you want it to be a success, right?
[sighs] OK. I'll do it.
For My Perfect Match.
[Wes] Thank you.
You're welcome.
I cannot wait to see what the world thinks
of the two of you promoting love
on live TV.
[sighs]
Well, it's official.
I've got nothing to wear
to the Hello Morning taping tomorrow.
Why do I own so much beige?
Viv, what has gotten into you?
It's my boss, Wes Robinson!
He's always like, "Call me Wes."
It just gets under my skin!
You know, for a guy who runs
a tech company,
he wouldn't know a good idea
if hit him in his giant, egotistical head!
Ah, sounds cute.
Wes Robinson is not cute!
Devilishly handsome?
OK, OK!
Look, I'm just joking!
Jeez, Viv!
I haven't seen you this riled up
in forever.
Look, you need to be more realistic.
OK. Men are men!
It's like they have two brain cells.
One to watch any sport with a ball in it,
and the other to somehow know the lyrics
to every Bruce Springsteen song.
Anything more is a bonus.
And not every man is Dad.
You need to start giving them a chance.
What do you think he'd think of us now,
if he hadn't left?
Hmm.
Who knows!
It's been so long.
But, you know, I bet he would
probably say...
"Wow! Look at Vivian!"
She's grown up to be
the smartest woman in the world,
and Michelle has somehow managed to be
an amazing wife and a fabulous teacher.
It's true, I really am an awesome wife.
[chuckles]
Well, speaking of awesome,
I think I found the perfect outfit
for tomorrow.
Tada!
[laughs]
Is that what I think it is?
-[Vivian] Yeah. "Uh"?
-Uh... I mean...
That's a really nice dress, Viv.
-I like the pink.
-Uh-huh.
-And the lace.
-Yeah?
[Riley] Very Lady Diana.
Upper crust.
You're my favorite brother-in-law.
-I'm your only brother-in-law.
-[Michelle laughs]
[whispers] She's really not going
to wear that, right?
Hey, if it was good enough
for my prom date, it's good enough for--
Ted Reynolds.
Vivian Blair.
So you're the genius that
invented My Perfect Match!
I didn't know genius could
be so beautiful.
Oh, I don't know about that.
I appreciate you having us on the show
on such short notice, Ted.
It's no problem at all, Wes,
your brother's an old friend.
And to be honest with you,
I owe him a few favors
after a couple of unlucky
poker matches recently.
-The guy's a shark!
-Well, that is Ben.
[both men laugh]
He's always been better at making friends
than I have.
But, I appreciate you extending
the courtesy to me.
It's no problem at all.
We'll see you guys on set.
You're going to do great!
[Vivian exhales]
Is it just me or is it getting
really hot in here?
It's probably the lights.
-Are you OK?
-Huh?
You don't have to do this
if you don't want to.
A little too late for that.
[inhales deeply]
Nope, I'm fine.
This is... good. I want it.
Oh, hi, there.
Camera one.
Let's go.
[man] Back live. Three, two, one...
We're back again this morning
with more updates on fashion week.
But first, are you looking for a new way
to find love?
We have Vivian Blair and Wes Robinson
of Robinson Tech,
to talk to us more about
a new online dating algorithm.
Vivian, tell us all about
My Perfect Match.
Thank you, Ted.
Well, our programmers have developed
an algorithm
to determine your love match
based on your digital footprint.
My digital footprint is a size 12.
[laughs]
The algorithm knows you
better than you know yourself
and it is designed to
not only find you a date,
but the perfect partner.
Hopefully, it's the last
first date you'll ever have.
That sounds like something
my mother would love.
And I understand the app
is available today, locally.
-That's right.
-Yes.
So anyone can download it after the show?
And we're working on
a wider international release.
Single man to single man...
What do you think, Wes?
I think Vivian is right.
My Perfect Match
could find anyone true love.
Anyone! Even you?
Sure.
So, you would consider
using it yourselves?
Of course we would.
Well, we're actually quite busy
with the launch--
And we at Robinson Tech,
stand behind the quality
of all of our products.
If My Perfect Match can't find Vivian
and I true love, nothing will.
Well, we have to have you
back on the show for a follow up.
Let's say... Valentine's Day?
And don't forget to bring
your perfect matches,
I'd love to meet them.
[laughs] So would I.
Fantastic!
Our audience is gonna love this.
Keep your eyes on these two daters.
Robinson Tech is on the market!
-[whispers] What are you doing?
-[whispers] I had to!
We'll catch up with CEO Wes Robinson
and programmer Vivian Blair,
to see if love is in the air.
What were you thinking,
putting me on the spot like that?
What was I supposed to say?
We were on the show to promote!
Literally, anything but committing me
to having my dating life
broadcast on television.
You said yourself My Perfect Match
works, right?
So you should have no problem using it.
Of course I wouldn't have a problem
finding my match
because I'm not an egomaniac!
I'm sure there's not
a single women out there
that would possibly want
to spend a life with you.
[mumbles] Let alone breathe the same air.
-What was that?
-Hm?
Look, I haven't heard
any complaints before.
But, then again with the women I meet,
we don't generally do much talking.
Really?
They don't tend to share their theories
on astrophysics?
You're just jealous.
I could find true love if I wanted to.
But I don't want to.
Hey, it's not just me that is
riding on the success of this product.
This is your company!
You know what, you're right.
Challenge accepted.
I guess we'll see
who finds their perfect match.
I guess we will.
-Fine!
-Fine!
I like her!
Are you OK, Viv?
We saw what happened on TV.
-You looked great!
-Yeah, yeah.
You couldn't even tell
how pissed off you were.
The software is now live.
-Everything's running smoothly.
-Good!
Because the first profile on there
is going to be mine!
Yes!
This is what we've been training for!
-OK!
-All right!
OK, let's do it!
-On! [giggles]
-Oh, it looks great, it looks great!
OK. What is your social password?
Here, let me.
Where was this selfie taken?
I don't know.
I thinks it's your summer home.
How do you not know that?
Adele, I pay you to know things
like that for me!
-Sunset or sunrise?
-Sunset.
"Have you ever had a one night stand?"
Habitually.
-"Favorite flavor of ice cream?"
-Ah, chocolate!
"Chocolate or pretzels?"
Chocolate covered pretzels.
See! This system is flawed!
-[computer chimes]
-[laughing]
Look at you!
That is so sweet!
Don't, I don't want... Baby photos.
Uh-uh.
Have you ever been in love?
Hmm.
Maybe what Oksana and I had was love.
She was Ukrainian super model
and she didn't speak English.
Adele.
Haven't you ever heard that love
is its own language?
You don't pay me enough for this.
"Do people who place a high
importance on material things
or appearance annoy you?"
Oh, like Wes Robinson?
Definitely.
OK, there you go.
And this is the last question.
"Do you believe in fate?"
I think so. Yes.
Well, we'll see what wild ride
fate takes you on now, huh, Viv?
Yeah, I guess so.
You know, all this time I spent
designing these questions
for the algorithm
and viewing other people's
social media sites,
I never really thought
how mine would look.
-Well, you did great.
-Yeah?
And all that's left now is to
determine your profile name.
Oh! Ah... OK.
How about "Miss Valentine"?
[computer chirps]
It's cute. I like it.
All right. Miss Valentine...
You are online!
[all cheer]
[singing] You're online!
You're online! Get it girl!
-Go get it.
-[giggling]
Well go on, I'm not getting any younger.
You know what?
I'll finish this up at home.
Transfer the rest of my calls
to my cell, will you?
This ain't bad for me.
[clock ticking]
[sighs]
[shimmering sound]
[heavy sigh]
[whispers] What was I thinking?
[sighs]
[cellphone chimes]
[Vivian moans]
Yes!
Yes, yes, yes.
[shimmering sound]
[heart beating]
"Mr. Valentine."
[giggles]
Yes!
[squeals]
[laughs]
You see, it will work.
Trust me.
-It will work for sure.
-OK.
Good morning!
-Go away, Derek!
-[Derek] Hey!
[Justine laughs]
[Justine]
The queen has entered the castle.
You're on fire this morning, Viv!
Ah, here are the latest numbers.
-Good work.
-Thank you, George!
Wes Robinson can read 'em and weep,
right, Viv?
Justine. Please.
Wes Robinson is still my boss.
Which is why this is going
to be so much more fun!
[all laugh]
Go, go, go! Yes!
Where were we?
You look different.
Thanks for noticing!
I look like a woman who is ready to hear,
"You were right. Congratulations."
You were right.
Wait. I need to savor this.
[deep breath] And?
Congratulations.
So far, people seem
to like My Perfect Match.
They don't just like it, they love it!
There have been thousands of profiles
uploaded since last night!
And I myself happen to have five matches.
How many did you get?
Um...
Zero.
[snickers] I knew it!
Well, I wouldn't get too excited.
I mean, I'm not so sure about
the kind of men
that set up a dating profile
in the middle of the night.
It's a bit desperate.
Nice try.
But not even you could get me down
right now.
I'm sure the men that have
been selected for me
by my team's excellent programming,
are absolutely perfect.
Oh, I'm sure they are very special.
In fact, I'm going to message...
Mr. Valentine right now
and see if he wants to meet tonight.
[whisper] Mr. Valentine.
[laughs] Well, Good luck.
And where will you take
your perfect match?
Somewhere romantic.
Quiet. Where I can really get to know him.
[slurps wine]
[sighs]
You look really pretty tonight.
I didn't think you'd be so pretty!
Not that you're not pretty!
Not that I didn't
expect you to be pretty,
I just think you're pretty.
Sorry, did I already say that?
Yeah, a few times.
-Sorry.
-Oh no, no don't be sorry.
[both laughs nervously]
Thank you for the compliment.
You're welcome.
You look great, too.
I like your shirt.
Oh, this?
I'm glad you like it.
I probably tried on about 20 of them.
[laughs]
Just to be honest, Viv,
I haven't been on a date in awhile.
So I'm a little nervous.
Me too.
So... we have a lot in common.
We do!
-We are both career driven.
-Mm-hmm.
-We're both from small families.
-Mm-hmm.
We both prefer the fall over the summ--
[sneezes]
Are you OK?
[sneezing continues]
Sorry.
[snorts] I think it's my allergies.
Sorry, what were you saying again?
Ugh... Um, we both have
traditional values!
Garon.
I'm allergic to these flowers.
[waiter] Oh, my. I am so sorry.
Do you want me to remove them for you?
[waiter] I could take them away
from the table.
You should probably just...
-[whispers] take them away.
-[waiter] No problem.
Thank you.
-[Mr. Valentine sighs]
-As you were saying?
It's almost like we were...
M-A-D-E...
made for each other!
Yeah! We are technically very compatible!
Hmm.
I'm sorry.
I didn't ask you what you do
for a living?
Lizards.
Lizards?
Mm-hmm.
Like, you sell them? In a pet store?
I show them.
In competition.
I have this iguana that would just...
take your breath away.
I bet!
Um, the chicken, how did you like it?
Um, the chicken was very good.
See!
Look at us being compatible again!
I liked it too.
Yeah, at first I thought
it was a little weird
that you ordered exactly what I ordered.
But, hey...
Viv, I just want to share
everything with you.
Mr. and Miss Valentine!
Hmm.
I still can't believe it!
Yeah, I literally can't believe it either!
Dessert! Let's have dessert!
Garon!
-[claps] Garon.
-No, it's, no no, no, no.
It's fine. Thank you.
Thank you. It's OK.
You're watching your figure?
Vivee, now that we've found each other,
you can totally let yourself go.
A bit. It's perfectly natural.
Honestly, it's fine.
How considerate.
You know, with this whole
career driven thing,
I actually have an early morning tomorrow,
so I should probably wrap this up.
When can I see you again?
I'll call you.
See? I knew you were going to say that!
It's like we share the same B-R-I-A-N.
Brain.
The waiter's over there.
You should probably grab the bill.
You know, be a gentleman?
Garon!
You got to be kidding me!
There...
-There you are.
-[Marty] How's the date going?
Well, a lady never tells.
It's going great, actually!
I think it's the pheromones.
Did you know that lizards emit pheromones
to other lizards,
while they are trying to attract a mate.
Oh! Just leave me alone,
you crazy lizard guy!
[Vivian squeals]
-[Vivian] Stay away from me!
-[Mr. Valentine] Wait...
Stay away from me!
[laughs]
-[Mr. Valentine] Come back.
-[Vivian] No.
Put that down.
I thought you were allergic to roses!
[laughs]
-See, you do love me.
-No. No, I don't.
Wes, come on.
This is for the wedding.
What do you think of off white or taupe?
Um...
They look exactly the same.
What are you doing picking
the napkins for, anyway?
Elaine trusts my impeccable taste.
[Judith] No, no, no, darling.
She trusts my impeccable taste.
Hello, Mother.
Well, hello, Wes.
You know, I had to let myself in.
Are you avoiding me?
No, just busy being a cog
in the Robinson Wheel.
Really?
I mean, what is this
I am seeing all over the news,
something called My Perfect Match?
It's just a new venture.
You have nothing to worry about.
Nothing to worry about?
Wes, that was not exactly
a glowing review.
Hey, any publicity is good publicity.
[Judith scoffs] Hardly.
Now, I still control the majority
voting shares in this company,
and I vote apps are on the way out.
It's not an app, it's an algorithm.
I have no intention of doing that.
People just want to find
that special someone.
Look, I know it's still early,
but we've got the research behind us.
Really?
So just who is this woman
named Vivian Blair?
Just a woman from the company.
Oh, Wes, please.
I know you way too well for that.
Now I'm just concerned
that you're doing this all on a whim
to impress some pretty girl, all right.
Business is all about logic
and thinking with your brain.
Can you imagine what this company
would look like right now
if your father had just followed
every one of his romantic notions?
I'm the result of one of those notions.
It's not like that.
Vivian's driven. Smart.
In fact she wants
nothing to do with Wes.
-That's how smart she is.
-[Judith] Oh, well that's fabulous.
Let's just keep it that way, all right?
I want you focused on the numbers.
Trust me.
I'm focused on all the right things.
So nope for the taupe?
-[Wes chuckles]
-No, no.
Ugh. So embarrassing!
Oh, come on, it wasn't that bad.
Michelle, not only was that the worst date
I have ever been on in my entire life,
it was plastered across the evening news.
OK, OK. It was, it was pretty bad.
But, at least you looked good.
I mean that outfit looked fabulous on you
as you were running away from lizard guy.
[laughs]
Michelle, stop laughing!
OK, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'll stop.
How am I supposed to face
Wes Robinson tomorrow?
He's going to have a field day
rubbing this in.
Why do you care so much about his
opinion, anyway?
I mean, the algorithm is a success.
You should be proud.
Yeah. I guess so.
Oh, OK.
I get it.
You're not going to think it's a success
until you snag your own hot shot guy.
What? No.
Wait, is that wrong?
I just want Wes to know
that I was right all along, OK.
Are you trying to make him jealous?
I don't want to make him jealous,
I just want to win a little bet.
Uh-huh. Sure.
Look, I think that competition
has no place in the dating world,
but if you're looking
for your perfect match
then I suggest you keep looking,
because Mr. Valentine
was definitely not it.
[sigh] OK.
Back on the dating horse.
[giggles]
Good luck!
[laughs]
[jazz music playing]
It's the way you make me feel
It's in the way that you make me heal
And I fly all the way
I'll fly far away
And I fly all the way
That's the way it should be
I'm the luckiest one
I'm so lucky
Hey, Viv.
IT increased the bandwidth
for the V-day roll out,
everything should be good to go.
Thanks.
You wanna grab some lunch?
Yeah, you remember lunch don't you?
That thing after brunch
and before you start eating
your feelings mid afternoon?
I can't. I've got a lot of work to do.
But I brought some leftover cake.
Oh, was it someone's birthday?
No... I just bought a cake.
OK, ah, we will see you in a bit.
OK, bye.
[sighs]
[Wes] Chocolate cake for lunch?
Really?
[muffled] I really like chocolate cake.
-Uh-huh.
-Mm-hmm.
What are you doing here?
Well, I thought you'd be happy to see me.
I walked all the way over to your desk,
like a normal person.
Wow, look at you.
Maybe people do change.
I'm still young. I can learn new tricks.
Listen, I just have a question
about the report.
What's this figure here?
Oh, that's the projections.
It's what we think
the download numbers will be
after the Valentine's Day roll out.
-Those are big numbers.
-Mm-hmm.
OK. Thanks.
Um, actually,
I've been wanting to ask you.
How do you feel about making
My Perfect Match
free on Valentine's Day?
But isn't that when we're set to do
the most downloads?
Robinson Tech would be losing out
on a lot of revenue.
Yes, but on a larger scale,
the more we get people to talk about it,
the more potential revenue it could gain.
It's the best advertisement of all.
We could even go global.
Here, take a look at this.
I charted the potential numbers
and I think if we increase
the users by 10%,
we can increase the overall downloads
by 25% in 30 days.
-That's impressive.
-Yeah.
Vivian, this might just be
almost as popular as you.
I've seen you on TV a lot lately.
Oh. OK, here we go.
Come on, you can laugh at me.
Are you kidding? It's great publicity.
And it's also a little fun
to watch you squirm.
Oh, really?
And how do you know one of those guys
isn't my perfect match?
You don't like any of them. I can tell.
And how do you know that?
Because when you don't like something
you wrinkle your nose up like this.
-[sniffs]
-See?
I know, because you do it every time
you see me.
-Mr. Robinson.
-Wes.
Wes.
It's not that I don't like you.
It's just everything you stand for.
Oh, much better.
You know. The fancy cars and the money,
and the revolving door of beauty queens.
It's just not real.
Yeah. Yeah, you're right.
But that's not really me.
You'll see.
[cellphone rings]
Is that one of your perfect matches?
I wish.
It's just my mother.
Again.
I'll call her back.
Once again Vivian, thank you
for all your hard work.
You're a real asset to the company.
Delivery for Vivian Blair.
And I see I'm not the only one
that values you.
-Thank you.
-There you go.
Ugh.
This isn't the real me, either.
Uck!
It must of cost the guy a small fortune.
I know. I hate red roses.
I thought every woman loved roses?
Well, I'm not every woman.
You certainly are not.
My Dad left when I was a kid.
He told us he was going
to get my Mom some roses,
but he never came back.
I haven't liked the sight of them since.
Sounds familiar.
My Dad didn't exactly stick around either.
I'm sorry. I didn't know.
Oh! Don't worry about it.
You did get something right, though.
-I did?
-Uh-hmm.
I didn't like any of them,
-my matches.
-I knew it!
I did! I knew it.
Who was the worst?
Was it yoga guy?
I just don't like men that wear
tighter shorts than I do.
I know, you should leave a little
something to the imagination.
Everyone likes a bit of mystery.
I should have seen it coming,
because his user name was Twisted Mister.
[laughter]
Are you staying late again tonight?
How about, instead of chocolate cake,
I order us some take out?
Your choice.
I can't.
I actually have another date tonight.
OK.
Another time, then.
Yeah.
-Well, back to work.
-OK, OK!
This company doesn't run itself, you know.
Thanks... Wes.
[sighs]
Hi. I'll have my usual. Thanks.
Hi, Wes! How's it going?
-The usual?
-Yes, please.
-Wes.
-Vivian!
Where's your date?
Don't tell me he stood you up.
His loss, my gain.
I'm sure "DJ Dan" will be here any minute.
-DJ Dan!
-DJ Dan.
OK.
Now do you believe me, that love
is about more than just compatibility?
To tell you the truth,
I would be OK if he was a no show.
I'm getting a little tired
of all this "compatibility."
It's called chemistry.
Well, it's easy for someone
like you to say,
someone who oozes charm
out of their pores.
But chemistry does not equal love!
First of all, I don't
want to "ooze" anything,
and you don't know anything about me.
I know the bartender knows your name.
You're probably here every night
of the week, picking up a new girl.
And what do you know
about compatibility, huh?
Well, unlike you, I don't need
My Perfect Match to make me a match.
I'll do it right now.
Watch and learn.
Bingo!
Hi.
I don't normally do this,
but I couldn't help but notice
how beautiful you are.
Can I buy you a drink?
Wow! Wes Robinson of Robinson Tech.
Well? Is she your perfect match?
She certainly is perfect, isn't she?
You two are a beautiful couple.
-I'm sure you'll be very happy together.
-Come on. Let's go.
[Marty] Hey, it's a free country, man.
Come on, out you go. Out.
[bouncer] And don't come back.
And I walked right up to the woman
at the bar and I bought her a drink.
You should have seen the look
on Vivian's face, though.
So, did you take her home?
Who? Vivian?
No! The other girl.
No, of course not!
I only bought her a drink
to make Vivian mad.
Yeah, good luck with that.
What are you talking about?
Whatever you're trying to pull
is not gonna work
on a woman like Vivian Blair.
She sees right through you, big brother.
Now can you pay attention?
This is kind of my wedding.
-Wedding rehearsal.
-Same thing.
Here comes the bride!
Perfect.
Now, Ben, you can take your bride's hand
and then I'll ask for the rings, please.
Thank you.
You'll say your vows
and then at the end
I'll pronounce you man and wife,
and then you can go on
to your happily ever after.
It's as simple as that.
[exhales]
Are you about to cry?
Of course not.
This is a wedding rehearsal.
Same thing.
[cellphone rings]
I'm sure she's calling for you.
Hey, Mom.
Where are you?
Negotiating.
Look, it's not like
I'm missing the wedding, OK.
It's just a rehearsal, and you know
I don't do well with boring.
Put your brother on.
Well, enjoy your closing, Mom.
Elaine and I can't wait
to share our special day with you.
See you soon.
Tag. You're it.
Who wants some champagne?
Hello, Mother.
Weston.
You have made your old mother
a very happy woman.
Shares of Robinson Corporation
are just shooting through the roof.
And it's all thanks to you.
Thank you, Mother.
And all you had to do was trust me.
You should try it more often.
So, how's the rehearsal?
Good. They look happy.
Oh, well, of course they do.
Everyone always looks happy
on their wedding day.
I know I did.
But don't let that fool you.
Love doesn't pay the bills.
Oh, you mushball.
[laughs] Well, you and I are cut
from the same cloth, honey.
You know, cynicism runs in this family.
Does it?
So, who are you taking to the wedding?
No one.
Wes, come on, you have to take someone.
There's no one.
All right. Don't pout.
Your brother's the emotional one, not you.
Look, she doesn't have
to be Miss Right, OK,
she just has to be Miss Right
for the photographers and the networking.
I think I have invited at least five CEOs
from Fortune 500 companies to this thing.
Oh, sounds like a lot of fun.
Well, Robinson Corporation
is a family-owned company
and that means even a family wedding
becomes a corporate event.
I should know, I'm writing the checks.
The place is going to be overrun
with photographers.
The day isn't about business, Mom.
It's about Ben and Elaine.
Ben is marrying a school teacher, Wes.
I'm sure her family is very happy
that someone is worrying about the bills.
Sure, yeah, happy...
Look, I turned over a multi-million dollar
company to you.
When are you going to start
focusing on growth.
Um, how successful is successful?
Every generation should
build on the Empire, not crumble it.
Excuse me Mother, I have to go.
I have a toast to make.
-[Wes] Big night last night?
-Hmm? What?
Oh, um...
I'm so sorry. I must have fallen asleep.
Can I see you in my office, please?
Uh-huh, yup. Yes. Thank you.
Why didn't you wake me up?
You just looked so peaceful.
Like a little, drooling angel.
[laughs]
That's not, that is not funny!
This is going to seem...
No. No. Will you...
Vivian's here.
[to himself] Act casual, act casual.
I surrender, OK?
You were right and I was wrong.
And I'll clearly never find
a soulmate on My Perfect Match,
because I am now convinced
of what I knew all along.
What's that?
I'm undateable.
-I don't know about that.
-It's true.
I'll never find someone that I love more
than my job.
In fact, I'll never go on another date
again for the rest of my life.
Vivian.
I need you to go on another date.
With me.
I'm sorry, say that again?
Relax. It's not a real date.
I just need you to sit beside me
at my brother's wedding this Saturday.
Do you have plans?
-No, but we're launching--
-Please.
This is really important to my family
and I'm pretty sure there's not
a single woman in my contact list
that wouldn't throw a drink in my face,
if given the opportunity.
I definitely believe that.
Besides, why chose an amateur
when you can have the dating
expert herself?
Hmm. What about that girl from the bar?
I changed my mind.
She wasn't the most beautiful woman
in the room.
Oh, really?
They must just grow from trees, then.
I had my eye on someone else, but...
she left before I could tell her.
Well, you know what they say,
there are plenty of vapid 25-year-old
women in the sea.
Pretty please?
What do you say?
I can't, Wes.
Not because I have plans.
But, they need me here.
I need you.
This wedding is important
for the company, too.
He says it's a work thing.
You could ask for major overtime.
-Adele! Don't you have work to do?
-I am working.
I am your assistant,
and I'm assisting you
getting a date for the wedding.
You know, she's onto something.
OK.
I'll go with you
to your brother's wedding.
Great.
But if I do, I want a raise.
You know how hard I've worked.
I've earned it.
And I want Derek's job.
-A tough negotiator.
-Uh-huh.
I like that.
Deal.
Deal.
[computer chimes]
Derek, my office please.
Derek, you're fired.
Yeah, I figured.
Your days were numbered after Fat Cat.
Yeah, this always happens.
[chuckles]
Can't wait to see you all dressed up!
[nervous] Yay...
[laughs]
It is perfect.
-You are going to sweep Wes off his feet.
-Justine, it's just for work.
Are you kidding me?
I have been watching you two for weeks.
You can cut the romantic tension
with a spoon.
Can I come?
Can I come? Can I come?
I need you here.
I know.
-I always miss all the fun stuff.
-[Vivian giggles]
-Thank you.
-Bye!
-You look great.
-Aw, thanks.
Adele.
-I'm so proud of you.
-Thank you.
Hi. Thanks for coming.
Wow, you look nice.
Thank you.
You should have seen the
price tag for "nice."
It was worth every penny.
Show you to your seat?
Thanks for doing this.
You are officially employee of the month.
Ooh, a trophy.
I'm not just in it for the glory,
you know.
Of course.
Now if you need me, I'll be up there
next to the guy getting married.
Oh, the one with the tux, right?
Yeah.
Kind of looks like me but better looking.
[laughs]
Good luck.
Be upstanding, please.
[wedding music begins]
[music fades]
We are gathered here today to celebrate
one of life's greatest moments.
The joining of two hearts, Ben and Elaine.
Together you have decided to embark
on the same path, hand-in-hand.
To commit to one another
and love one another more fully each day.
And I understand the bride
and the bridegroom
have written their own vows.
Come on Ben,
don't keep your beautiful bride waiting.
Elaine.
You are my best friend.
And I promise to love you
and cherish you for the rest of my life.
And I will never grow tired of you,
even when I get old and tired.
And I'll let you buy as many throw pillows
as you want,
even though I think we have way too many.
[Elaine giggles]
That dress... Wow!
Even if you were wearing a paper bag
right now,
with that smile, you'd still be
the most beautiful bride
I've ever laid my eyes on.
You're all I need,
you're all I have ever needed
and I can't wait to spend the rest
of my life proving how much I love you.
[exhales]
[cellphone rings]
George!
Calling with good news, I hope.
Unfortunately not, Mr. Robinson.
It's, um, it's My Perfect Match.
What happened?
[George] It isn't making its projections.
Downloads are way down.
By what margin?
A lot, sir.
We're not getting
anywhere near the numbers
that we'd predicted
for the Valentine's Day roll out,
and new subscribers are at a standstill.
It's not looking good.
Thanks for calling, George.
I appreciate it.
Do you want me to call Vivian
and tell her?
[Wes] No. I'll...
I'll tell her.
-Hi Vivian.
-[gasps]
It's nice to see you.
You look well.
[coughs]
Listen, elephant in the room,
but I have a girlfriend now
and she's really jealous,
so it would be great if, uh,
-she didn't know about us.
-Mm-hmm.
I appreciate--
Coming, my little green iguana.
You'll find someone.
Wes.
What's wrong?
Nothing.
Are you... hungry?
Because I just walked past the kitchen,
and the prime rib is looking top notch!
That sounds amazing. I'm starving.
All right. Come on.
[wedding emcee] Next toast, Mr. Robinson.
[applause]
Now, I'll keep this short.
As I'm sure you're all aware,
Ben was the one in the family
that got all the charisma.
That's why he's head of Marketing
for the company,
and I'm pretty sure that's how
he convinced a woman like Elaine
to marry him.
[guests chuckles]
Ben's not just my brother,
he's also my best friend.
We used to compete a lot
when we were kids.
I usually won, of course.
[more chuckles]
I was president of the student council.
Quarterback of the junior football team
in high school.
And I had the biggest yo-yo collection.
But, I've never been more
envious of anyone
than I am of you today, Ben.
I'm throwing in the towel.
You've surpassed me in every single way.
I only hope that one day that I too
can find the same love
that you share with Elaine.
That's all I've ever really wanted.
-To Ben and Elaine.
-[guests] To Ben and Elaine.
May they always be as happy
as they are today.
And make sure you drink up this champagne,
because it was flown in from France
and we can't return it.
[applause]
[party chatter]
[cellphone rings]
Hello, Mother.
Wes, I've got to talk to you.
[Wes] Where are you?
How are you missing Ben's wedding?
I am not missing Ben's wedding,
I'm, just, fashionably late.
Besides, it's his second wedding,
it's almost like watching a rerun.
Look, I have to go.
Can this wait till later?
[Judith] No. No, it cannot wait.
I just got a very important call
from the office.
My Perfect Match is tanking.
And after the company
spent millions on marketing.
I believed in it.
Wes, are you out of your mind?
I mean, you can't just believe in things!
Robinson Tech is a business,
it is not a fairy tale.
You've got to get your
head out of the clouds, Wes,
and use that expensive education you have.
Oh, where should I start?
Well, you might start by
not taking your employees to weddings.
Pictures are already starting
to pop up all over the internet.
Seriously Wes, it's just embarrassing.
I'm sorry, Mother.
I thought you'd be used to me
disappointing you by now.
Wes...
-Is everything OK?
-Yeah.
You wanna, get some air.
Hey, hey, hey, seriously though...
what's wrong?
What happened over there?
Wes, you're not acting like yourself.
Is that such a bad thing?
OK, now you're making me nervous.
What's going on?
Is it My Perfect Match?
Can you just say something?
Whoa.
That was not part of the job description.
Was it wrong?
Yes!
-Why?
-Because you're my boss.
Because you're chocolate cake.
You look really good
but you're really bad for me.
I thought you liked chocolate cake?
You really do.
Do you want to get out of here?
Ben, where's your brother?
Mom, are you seriously just getting here?
What? Well, honey, look.
I sat through your first wedding.
I'm sure this one was equally as touching.
Now where's Wes?
You're not going to like this.
He left with Vivian.
I can't believe he's doing this.
I can't believe he didn't do it sooner.
He's walking out on his own
brother's wedding!
-[man] Hello, Mrs. Robinson.
-Oh, Wilson, hello!
No, Mom.
He's finally letting his guard down
and opening his heart.
Maybe it's time you do the same.
Life is more than just spreadsheets, Mom.
Dance?
[rain pouring outside]
I can't believe this is really happening.
You couldn't stand to be in the same
room as me a couple of weeks ago.
I'm willing to admit that I might
have been wrong.
Might have?
You know, you might have to kiss me
a few more times while I think about it.
Do you want to come in for coffee?
What is it?
My Perfect Match is tanking, Vivian.
This was supposed to be the biggest day
of the release but it's not.
Statistically speaking,
it's all down hill from here.
When did you find out about this?
Why didn't you tell me?
-I didn't want to ruin your night.
-My night?
-This is my career.
-I know.
-I didn't tell you because...
-Because you're a coward.
You run away from everything.
That's why you don't pick up the phone
when your mother calls.
That's why you don't have a girlfriend.
I bet you didn't even upload
your profile onto My Perfect Match!
I fell for the Wes Robinson act, didn't I?
Vivian, wait!
It wasn't an act with you.
Is that what you tell the other girls?
Do they fall for that too?
You know, I might be cynical about love,
but you...
You won't even try.
You won't even take a chance.
-[sobbing]
-[cellphone rings]
Hey, Viv?
-[sobbing sounds]
-Viv?
Aw, honey.
I can't believe it's all over.
This isn't fair.
Viv should have been the next face
of Silicone valley.
Yeah.
What's he doing here?
I knew you would end up back here.
I just didn't know it would take you
so long to screw up with Vivian.
What are you doing here?
Saving you from yourself,
what do you think?
I don't feel like talking
right now, Adele.
Well, that's good!
Because I plan on doing most of it.
What has gotten into you, Wes?
Why is it I can't go anywhere
without a woman yelling at me?
Because we seem
to hold you to a higher standard
than you hold yourself.
Do you remember when
you were a school boy?
I do.
I was your mother's assistant back then
and you used to love
coming into this office.
When your Mom was in a meeting,
you'd sit right there and staple
all my schedules together
and drive me nuts, just like you do now.
But I wish you could have
seen the smile on your face,
the way I saw your smile.
You hoped more than anything
that if you worked hard enough,
one day this whole place would be yours.
I remember your crazy jackets.
Those shoulder pads! [laughs]
It was the 80s.
Now leave me alone, I'm not done.
Over the years your mother spoiled you.
I warned her.
You were handed everything you wanted
and I stopped seeing that special smile
on your face.
Until I saw you look at Vivian.
And after all these years,
I knew there was something you wanted
so much again.
Something you knew would not be
handed to you.
Something you knew you would
have to work for.
There was only one problem.
She saw right through the act.
Then drop the act.
It doesn't look good on you, anyway.
Come on, a girl like Vivian Blair
doesn't come along every day.
Do you really want to give up
just like that?
Adele.
You're right.
As usual.
Get Justine and George.
I have an idea!
Come on in, guys.
Ah, we were just playing tag.
-[laughs] Yeah. You're it.
-Ha, no you are.
We didn't hear anything about a
plan to get Vivian back. I swear.
Yeah but we're totally going to
help with that plan to get her back.
-It's a good plan!
-It's a really good plan.
So, you guys want to play?
You're it!
[both laugh nervously]
[laughs]
[upbeat jazz music]
- Who is lucky?
- I'm so lucky
- Oh so lucky
- Oh so lucky
That's the way I like it
So stay cool
- Who is happy?
- I am happy
- Oh so happy
- Oh so happy
That's the way I like it
So stay cool
[jazz music plays]
[Judith] Dear Wes, I know I'm hard
on you...
but it's only because I always believe.
Follow your heart.
Love, your "mushball" Mom.
Oh! Baby I love it. It's beautiful.
Thank you.
-OK, open yours.
-Yeah.
Where did you get this?
Well, it took a lot of hunting.
[Michelle laughs]
Vivian...
These are the numbers from yesterday.
They're not good, as you expected.
Well, it was a risk.
You never know if these things are
going to take off or not.
I know.
Hello Morning should be here any minute
to do their follow up taping.
Right.
I almost forgot it was Valentine's Day.
I was going to cancel,
but I think it might be worth a try
to promote My Perfect Match
one last time, don't you?
No, I don't think that will help.
Especially because we have
to tell them the truth
that neither of us found our match.
That's true.
The film crew's here.
Wes! Vivian!
It's great to see you guys again.
But I see you're alone.
I guess this might not be a very happy
Valentine's Day ending after all?
You guessed right.
Are you sure you're ready?
As ready as we'll ever be, Ted.
OK. Great.
Marty, let's shoot Vivian and Wes
somewhere over there.
Come on, guys.
Oh, um.
Hello Morning, and a very
Happy Valentine's Day!
As promised, we're here with our friends
from Robinson Tech.
Creators of the My Perfect Match app.
Oh! There she is!
[Ted] Vivian, our viewers loved
following you on your dating journey.
And on some of your dating disasters.
But it looked like you had
some luck out there.
How'd it go?
Ah, I met some very nice people,
but none of them were my perfect match.
[Ted] That's too bad.
Well you've got a lot of fans now.
I promise, you have your pick
of the Hello Morning audience.
What about you, Wes?
Well, Ted.
I have to come clean.
I didn't actually submit my profile
until last night.
[Vivian laughs]
Yes, I did find my perfect match.
You've got to be kidding me.
You are some piece of work you know that?
Hold on, let me finish.
I granted access
to all my social media accounts,
and I didn't just answer
all the questions,
I answered them honestly.
What's going on?
My plan was to go on dates
with real women,
not just the ones who fall for my
cheesy pick up lines.
Lots of horrible dates,
and then tell you about them.
So you could see the real me.
Then I hoped that eventually you'd see
that we are compatible.
But my plan failed before it even began.
What are you talking about?
Check your profile.
I have a new match.
Wes.
The real me.
Look at those two.
Oh.
Way to go, Viv!
Is that really her boss?
Yeah.
Wow, that is some kind of handsome.
Your boss is female, right?
Oh, yeah. And not handsome.
-Yeah, just checking.
-[laughs]
You're my perfect match, Vivian.
And the only reason
you couldn't find yours
was because he was too afraid to sign up.
So the algorithm
says that we're compatible,
but that doesn't mean that we're--
You would like it if I brought you
flowers on our first date.
But never red roses.
If I brought you red roses,
you'd do that thing that you just did,
where you scrunch your nose up,
like this, when you don't like something.
If I had a chance to cook you dinner,
I'd make you chocolate cake.
Always chocolate cake.
No matter what time of day.
Your ideal date would be somewhere
quiet and romantic,
where it just seems like you and me.
When you're nervous
you brush your hair behind your ear.
I must have seen you do it a dozen times.
But you're not doing it right now.
And that gives me hope...
Because Vivian,
I love you.
[chuckles]
Wow. Are you getting this?
I just have one more question.
Will you spend Valentine's Day with me?
Only if I can pay!
[Vivian laughs]
They kissed!
Oh! I have to call her.
But, she's on TV.
I'll leave a voicemail.
[Ted] There you have it.
Vivian Blair and Wes Robinson.
You couldn't find a more perfect match!
[jazz music playing]
George!
I never knew you had it in you.
Justine...
I want you to meet Liz, my cat.
I would be so honored. [giggles]
Hi, Viv, we're watching you right now,
and it looks like you found
your someone nice
just in time for Valentine's Day.
Whoo! I'm so happy!
OK, call me later.
Bye.
[cellphone chimes]
Whoa. No, no. Look. Look.
Viv, You're never going to believe this.
Justine, at this point,
I will believe anything.
The servers are blowing up.
My Perfect Match downloads
are going through the roof.
It's all because of you guys.
We've got so much work to do.
OK!
[Ted] I don't know about you guys,
but this next segment on celebrity diets
is going to be super lame.
But you know what? I don't care.
Happy Valentine's Day everybody!
Happy Valentine's Day, baby.
-I love you.
-I love you too.
Good job, guys.
How did you know I would say yes?
I didn't. But I've spent too much
of my life being a coward,
and I had to prove that we're compatible.
Ah. And what about passion?
We'll always have passion.
That's the way it should be
I'm the luckiest one
I'm so lucky
[jazz music ends]
[soft piano music]
[upbeat jazz music]
- Who is lucky?
- I'm so lucky
- Oh, so lucky
- Oh, so lucky
That's the way I like it
So stay cool
- Who is happy?
- I am happy
- Oh, so happy
- Oh, so happy
That's the way I like it
So stay cool
[jazz music plays]
- Who is lucky?
- I am lucky
- Oh, so lucky
- Oh, so lucky
That's the way I like it
So stay cool
- Who is happy?
- I am happy
- Oh, so happy
- Oh, so happy
That's the way I like it
That's the way I like it
That's the way I like it
So stay cool
[music ends]