Man, this lake is really starting
to freak me out.
You know how many people
have disappeared from here
in the last couple of years?
Maybe two.
But do you know how many people have
disappeared just in the last six months?
Five.
Man, you are paranoid.
You should really lay off the green.
At least share some with me.
All right, I'm done.
Let's get the hell out of here.
Slow down.
Let me finish getting my samples.
You gotta relax. You need a hobby.
You should try golf.
Tillman, why are you even here?
You're more concerned
with baseball and mullets
than you are with the ecosystem.
For your information,
I got into this line of work
so I could meet sexy eco-warrior chicks
who don't shave their legs.
Oh, God, help me!
Help me! Help me! No!
Tillman! Tillman! Tillman!
Tillman! Tillman!
Good morning, sunshine.
- So, are we having fun yet?
- Yeah, tons.
Are you kidding me?
This is the boredom capital of the universe.
Look, Scott, you're stuck with me
for a month,
so why don't you at least try
and have a good time, huh?
You don't even have cable
or high speed Internet.
My cell phone doesn't even work out here.
Well, a lot of people would think
that was a good thing, Scott.
Yeah, unlike your nasty meatloaf pie.
Since you're so determined
to be miserable out here,
why did you decide to come along
in the first place?
It's called a custody agreement, Sheriff.
Listen, I want to get something straight
with you right off the bat, son.
You might be able to talk
to your little friends that way,
but I'm not one of your little friends
and I'm not your peer.
I'm your father, so I demand respect.
Whatever.
Sheriff Riley, come in.
Go for Riley.
Sheriff, that EPA guy is here again.
Says his partner's gone missing on the lake.
Over.
Mills? He probably smoked a bad bowl
and forgot he was all by himself.
I'll be there in a few minutes.
Look, I gotta go in to work.
But afterwards I'll stop by, grab you,
we'll go in to town and catch a movie, huh?
Yeah, maybe.
So, why don't you talk to her already?
Jesus, Dad.
Don't you gotta go to work or something?
Yes.
So, why don't you talk to her already?
I'll talk to her when I want to talk to her.
If you're so excited about it,
why don't you go talk to her?
Be careful what you wish for.
Hey! Can I speak to you for a minute?
Hi, how are you?
Oh, this is not happening.
- Good morning.
- Good morning, Sheriff.
Miner, are you crazy,
sneaking up on somebody like that?
Hey, that's my job.
Yeah, well, excuse me
while I go do my mine.
You know, I heard someone else
has gone missing on the lake.
How many does that make now, Sheriff?
Is there a possible serial killer
on the loose, wild animal?
Maybe an Al-Qaeda jihad?
Care to comment?
Yeah, I care to comment.
You write anything in that newspaper
of yours that sends my town into a panic,
I'll be looking for you
at the bottom of that lake.
You can quote me on that.
You're a guard dog. Guard!
Who buys your bones?
Can somebody please explain to me
why the local gossip
has to be breathing down my neck?
Hello, Frank.
There's enough going on around here
without having to deal with that moron.
I told that dirty, rotten snoop, Cal Miner,
to get the heck out of here.
He just started yammering on about
freedom of the press, or some such.
Why don't you just shoot him, Sheriff?
If it were only that easy.
There you go,
making things too complicated again.
Can we make an exception in Cal's case?
Dale, do not tempt me.
Sheriff, listen...
- Hey, Frank, how's it going?
- Good.
No, no, not that great, you know.
Yeah, I heard about that.
Why don't you fill us all in?
Okay, well, my partner and I
are working on the lake and,
well, the next thing I know he's in the water.
- Just like that?
- Yeah.
Well, I'm trying to get him back in the boat
and he's screaming and yelling,
and something pulls him under.
He's gone, Sheriff.
I'm a little unclear on something here.
How exactly did he wind up
in the water in the first place?
Pretty sure he fell off leaning over the side.
Frank, I've got a question for you.
Did you, by any chance,
eat any organic brownies this morning?
You think this is just a joke, Sheriff?
Come with me
and I'll show you the punch line.
Okay, Frank.
I've got a feeling I'm not gonna like
what's under that sheet.
Wow.
So these are your friend, huh?
Used to be.
Whatever's in your lake took the rest of him.
I've got to call Fish and Wildlife right away.
Cover that up, Charlie.
We've already been called.
Well, gentlemen, isn't this just ducky?
Look, James, if it's any consolation,
I asked them to send someone else.
Oh, I appreciate your concern, Emma,
but I'm a professional.
I can handle it. It's just that I hadn't
heard from you in so damn long.
I sent you an e-mail.
You sent me a group e-mail about
some PETA rally. How personal was that?
Honestly, I didn't think you were
quite over your ex-wife.
Well, now, just what the hell
is that supposed to mean?
I hate to break up couples' therapy,
but I'm not Dr Phil
and this sure as hell ain't Oprah.
That's not a toy, Frank!
Emma? Look what you did.
Are you happy?
I'm so embarrassed.
I always had a weak stomach for blood.
It's a good thing you weren't
out on the lake. Boy, it was awful.
- Pulled him under so quickly, so strong.
- Here.
Something that vicious, Frank,
it had to be a mountain lion,
a sick bear, something like that.
The chances of a mammal
killing someone on a lake that deep
are about a billion to one.
About as good as our chances
of finding out on this porch.
Think you can handle
going back to the lake, Frank?
Yeah, sure. Let's do it.
Okay.
I have a boat. Let's go.
Frank, we've been over
the same area four times.
You sure this is where Tillman went under?
I think so.
Think so?
I didn't know anyone lived
on this side of the lake.
It's crazy Sadie Bickerman.
She moved into that place
a couple years after her sister went missing.
The way I hear it, she used to feed live cattle
to a couple of 40-foot prehistoric crocs
she kept in her backyard.
What? That's ridiculous.
That's the kind of detail you could have
shared with us back at the morgue.
Mills, come on.
You know everybody around here
is prone to exaggeration, if you get my drift.
And crocodiles don't live
as far north as Maine, Frank.
If there really was one up here, I'm sure
it would've been a newsworthy occurrence.
Maybe, but that's not the kind of thing
a lake town would want
featured on its tourism brochure.
Hey, slow down.
Over there, what is that?
I don't know.
I'm pulling in, see if I can't fish it out.
Yeah, let's see here. Come here.
Just a second, we'll get there.
Whoa, what are you doing?
It's not like you haven't seen all this before.
Well, we can wait around here all day
or I can jump in and see what it is.
Turn around. Turn around!
So, you're just gonna jump in?
You're not even gonna let...
- Yeah, I'm going in.
- You never change. Turn around!
What do you think?
A 40-foot croc's gonna get me?
There's always hope.
What is that?
- Tillman?
- Oh, it used to be.
Emma, you get out of there right now.
Come on.
Come on. Come on.
There you go. There you go.
There you go. Careful. All right.
Come on.
Now do you believe it's a giant crocodile?
Doesn't mean anything, Frank.
It's just another piece of the puzzle.
Piece of the puzzle?
We got his foot. We got his arm.
And now we got his head!
What other pieces do you need?
Mills, shut up! You're not being any help.
We're all on the same team here. Come on.
Let's go talk to crazy Sadie.
All right, we finally made it.
That was some shortcut, genius.
Hey, we made it, didn't we?
Yeah, Mike.
You're a regular Ferdinand Magellan.
The water looks great.
Absolutely.
Don't get any big ideas, sport.
She gets her own tent.
Okay.
Must be hard for a sweet old lady
to live out here all by herself.
Sadie's not that sweet.
She's definitely no lady.
You are right about the old part, though.
Why don't you let me talk to her?
- Be my guest, Emma.
- All right.
Hi. Mrs Sadie Bickerman?
I'm Emma Warner from Fish and Wildlife,
and I'm so sorry to bother you,
but I was just wondering,
can we come in and ask you
a few questions?
Fish and Wildlife?
Haven't been a lick of livestock
on this property since I lost my sister.
Unless you got some answers
for me on that,
why in the world would I want
to talk to you jerks?
Oh, I didn't know.
- What?
- I'm sorry. I was just...
Can we just come in for a minute?
We won't be long.
You're right. You won't.
Wow. You're great with the elderly.
You want to try? Be my guest.
This is Sheriff Riley, Sadie. Open up!
I'm sorry. Wasn't that clear enough, Sheriff?
Sadie, we found a man's head
about 200 yards off your dock.
Wanted to know if you got
any information about it.
I'm an old lady.
Unless you think I chopped off
some poor sap's melon,
I don't know how I can help.
Well, you can start by telling us
anything you know
about any crocodiles wandering
into the fresh water of our lake.
I understand that your sister
had quite a history with crocs.
Don't you mention my sister.
I don't know squat.
Till you get yourself a warrant,
you can go piss up a rope, Columbo!
That was great.
Get lost, Barney Miller!
Crazy Sadie knows something. I can feel it.
She's right.
We can't search her place without a warrant.
Yeah, but she can't stop us
from searching the lake.
What's wrong?
Nothing. I'm just really hot.
I think I'm gonna come in and take a swim.
Well, hurry up then.
Oh, boy.
Very funny. I'll be right there.
Sharon? Sharon? Edie?
Come on, now. This isn't funny.
No! Stop it!
Gosh, I'm sorry about that.
She's very territorial.
No worries.
It's healthy to get your heart rate up, right?
Yeah, beats the treadmill.
- You're Sheriff Riley's son.
- Yeah, unfortunately.
Hi, I'm Scott.
I'm Kerri.
This morning your dad said
you had something to tell me.
What? No, no, no. He's just... Ignore him.
- You okay?
- Yeah, yeah, I'm cool.
You are far from cool, buddy.
Shut up, Thad.
Scott, this is Thad.
Looks like you almost
wet your pants there, pal.
Trust me, nothing in this podunk town's
gonna make me wet my pants.
Oh, yeah? Where are you from?
I live in Newton,
just outside of Boston, with my mom.
Oh, I love Boston. I just got accepted to BC,
but I haven't decided
if I'm gonna go there or Northeastern, so...
I think she should stay some place
close to home.
Yeah, well, it's not really your decision.
Boston is awesome. I mean, I wish
I could've stayed there for the summer,
but since my folks split,
my dad thought I should come up here.
- Scott's dad is Sheriff Riley.
- No way!
Doesn't that gay-ass have anything better
to do than bust up all our parties?
No, don't worry. I know he's a buzz kill.
Look, a bunch of us are gonna go hike over
the other side of lake, camp overnight.
If you wanna come,
you're more than welcome.
Sure. Definitely.
Baby, when did you become
chairman of the welcoming committee?
Don't be a jerk, okay?
The least we can do is show him
that we're not a bunch of hicks around here.
You got any more beers in your bag,
or is your daddy gonna arrest us?
I'm not worried about it.
Okay, great. It's settled.
So, let's go meet up with Rachel and Larry,
and we'll grab our gear.
Daisy!
So many visitors this time of day,
you'd think this old lady
was running a brothel.
Oh, come on now, sexy at 70 is what I'd say.
Well, aren't you the charmer?
It's true. You have very beautiful eyes,
and eyes have no age.
- Now, Mrs Bickerman...
- Oh, call me Sadie.
Well, then, now, Sadie,
let's start right at the beginning,
and you tell me everything those folks said.
Oh, there those little rascals go.
They get riled up this time of day.
That reminds me,
I promised I'd make you a snack.
No, don't worry. I'm fine.
I just have a few questions.
You sit right there.
Be back in a jiffy.
I'm not really hungry, Sadie.
Who said anything about
it being your snack?
What's that?
Out, get out closer to the edge.
You'll get a much better shot.
What the hell is that?
Guess he really wasn't hungry.
So, what now, James?
We'll drag the lake,
see if we can find the rest of his friend.
You think you're gonna find him, huh?
I'll bet you anything he's in the stomach
of that crocodile.
Frank! Hang on!
- Come on.
- Help!
Come on! Come on, we just hit a rock.
A rock's not gonna bite you.
Get out of there.
Come on. Come on.
Up we go. Get up here.
All right, all right.
Get Mills a towel, would you?
Come on. Get up. Get up.
Frank, you're being ridiculous.
I'm telling you, a local gossip
and a superstitious old lady
still don't make
a giant man-eating crocodile.
What?
Emma!
Emma, swim to me now.
- Can you swim?
- Yeah.
Come on! Come on! Hurry up!
Hurry up! Come on! Let's go! There it is!
No crocodiles in Maine, huh?
That's got to be the biggest animal
I've ever seen.
Great, tourists.
It's no tourist.
How well do you know this guy?
I caught him poaching
some endangered bobcats
a couple years back
up near the Canadian border,
just a typical greedy industrialist.
Only this one fancies himself
a great white hunter.
His ego's twice as big as that crocodile.
Hi.
Emma.
Never fancied you for the wet T-shirt type.
Good to see our tax dollars hard at work.
What are you doing here, Struthers?
Well, I got a tip from a local there might
be something worth killing in this lake.
The tip didn't happen to come
from a local weasel
by the name of Cal Miner, did it?
Perhaps you should be grateful
to that weasel.
From the looks of things,
the cavalry got here just in the nick of time.
Tell you what, you can park
your plane there, $40 a day.
We don't take Visa.
We don't take MasterCard.
Oh, by the way, Emma,
did you get them bobcat kebabs I sent you?
She likes me.
Yeah.
Are we close yet?
'Cause my feet are totally killing me.
Rachel, when I told you
to wear appropriate shoes,
strappy sandals weren't what I had in mind.
Vogue says these are totally appropriate
for summer.
Whatever. This is so lame.
You know, I'll rub them if you want.
I'll rub the rest of you, too.
Seriously, Larry,
I wouldn't let you rub my feet,
even if you were the CEO of Prada.
Your loss.
This is it, suckers. Check it out!
This is sweet.
- Oh, hey, check this out, Larry.
- What?
- No, right here. Come here.
- What?
- Come here and check this out. Right here.
- What?
- No, right here. Come here, closer.
- What?
- You see, right there? Just...
- I don't see anything.
My bad, I guess there was nothing there.
Way to go, butthead.
What am I supposed to wear now?
Scott, could you give me a hand?
I can't get my back.
Yeah, sure.
Hey, looks like Boston boy's
making a move on your girl.
He can have her.
So, you guys gonna go in?
No, I don't want to get my hair wet.
I'm just gonna lay out.
I bronze amazingly.
Come on, Scott.
Last one in's gotta pitch the tent.
Larry's already pitching a tent.
Yeah, I can tell by the way you guys
are wrestling around in the water.
No, baby. This is all for you, sweetheart.
You're a pig.
So, come on, Scott, what do you say?
Coming in?
No, I'm not in the mood.
Afraid you're gonna get your hair wet?
No, I'm just not a big fan of the water.
He can keep me company.
Come on, baby.
Hey, come on, man.
I'm gonna go for a walk.
Check things out a little bit.
Suit yourself.
Hey, Sheriff!
Thanks for coming out so quick, Dale.
I brought exactly what you told me to.
A heck of a lot of heat in this puppy.
What are you planning on blowing...
What is all this, then?
Oh, we gotta have a talk.
This thing really work?
Dale, unload the boat.
You know what, Ahmad?
I think I'd like it better if
the flap of the tent was facing east,
that way I get a good view
of the morning sunrise.
Actually, boss, you don't want the opening
facing uphill, in case it rains.
No, it's all right. Do it my way.
Struthers, I decided to close the lake.
That means no camping.
Of course, you and your little pal there
are always welcome
to check in any one of
our lovely B&Bs in town.
Well, you're not gonna run us in to jail, now,
are you, Sheriff?
I mean, it would be a terrific waste
of manpower,
especially when you got this giant crocodile
on the loose.
Why don't you just get out of here?
I'm sure there are a bunch of
unemployed 10-year-olds in Asia
you could be exploiting.
Come on, now, Emma.
You're not still holding a grudge
about them silly bobcats, are you?
There were 148 of those silly bobcats
left on the entire planet.
Now there are 146, thanks to you.
Can you leave it go? I paid the fines.
Everything's not all about the bottom line.
Well then, the bottom line is,
if I didn't come along at the time I did,
you'd still be an endangered species.
I hope you didn't think
you could just fly in here
and kill an animal that may very well be
the last remaining one of its kind.
Well, of course I can.
Isn't that right, Sheriff?
I'm afraid it's not my call.
It's Emma's jurisdiction.
All I can do is ask you to show me permits
for all the firepower
you brought along with you.
Ahmad has all the paperwork you need.
- Good.
- That's great.
You're not gonna be able to use it.
We're doing this the humane way.
We're gonna trap it and bring it in alive.
Do you wanna help me?
Well, that's brilliant!
I can see us all holding hands
in the belly of the beast
singing Give Peace a Chance.
Oh, please, shut up.
I think she really likes me, Ahmad.
Damn it!
What the...
Crocodiles bite down into
the flesh of a victim
and roll over and over until
the disoriented prey drowns
or bleeds to death.
It's called a death roll.
- It sounds like something to avoid.
- Oh, yeah.
Well, you know,
they're perfect killing machines.
And get this. It wedges the body
of its victim into an underwater pantry
for future consumption.
Well, when we're through here, we'll have
plenty of crocodile steaks in our pantry, eh?
Boots and belts, too.
I got a question for the two of youse.
Let me ask you this, geniuses.
What are you planning on using for bait?
Sorry about this, baby.
- You're kidding. That's your bait?
- Come on.
- There's no way this is gonna work.
- Come on, Dale.
Crocodiles eat turtles.
Look it up in Struthers' book.
Get in there.
- He's one heck of a turtle.
- I don't like this plan.
- They growed up in a hole like this.
- Dale, would you be quiet?
Well, now, that is absolutely brilliant.
You do realise the thing has eaten
a human being, don't you?
That's right. Get in there, Struthers.
I suppose you'd prefer
if we just lobbed in a landmine.
That's way too messy.
Besides, where's the sport in that?
Anybody keeping kosher?
No, no, no, no, don't even think about it.
Struthers...
Can you help me get this out of here
before it hurts itself?
We'll get it.
Dale, hand me the stick.
- Dale!
- Just...
- Thank you.
- Just be careful. Don't hurt it.
I won't. All right, let's see.
- One... Can I reach it? Two... One more.
- It's okay.
Ready?
Dale, hand me the tranq gun.
Yes, sir.
Come on, tranq gun! Right now!
You can't just spray and pray.
You gotta know what you're shooting at.
I think you got him, Sheriff.
What now?
Wait! Stop!
You killed it!
No, I think the tranquiliser's
just taken effect.
Come on, let's tie up its snout.
I don't think we'll have much time.
- Here, let me do that.
- No, it's okay. I got it.
- Well, this here's man's work, sweetheart.
- Okay.
Dale, be careful.
Don't worry, sir. I got it covered.
This here's what we call a four-point granny.
I learnt it in the Boy Scouts.
Not so tough now, are you?
Well, so much for the humane thing.
Now it's my turn.
Me first.
Mine's bigger.
It's all in how you use it.
So, what do you say now, Ms Warner?
You still wanna make friends with it?
I thought you'd come around
sooner or later.
Too bad for your friends it was later.
What do you say, Ahmad?
Let's strap up and go kill us a croc.
I thought you knew what you were doing.
I do know what I'm doing,
if you'd just let me do it.
- Figure it out.
- Get the one over there.
Oh, baby.
Hey, sweetheart.
Please don't burn my fun bags.
Oh, Larry, don't be such a stupid American.
All the beaches in Europe are topless.
We are so going there.
Yes, we are.
Guys, come quick.
Seriously, you guys gotta come
check this out.
- Scott, what is it?
- Just come on.
I'm over nature time. Have a ball.
I'll go with you.
Well, I'm coming, too, then.
Don't mind me, guys.
I'm gonna make sure
my little monkeys there don't get toasty.
Would you believe me if I told you
I'm completely rich? Filthy?
Where'd you find... Ahmad, is it?
Yeah, me one-man army.
In the Sudan I was on safari.
Heard about this lion
that was terrorising a small village.
Killed 16 natives.
I went looking for it
but I couldn't find anything for two weeks.
Then one night I hear this wild screaming
from the brush.
Ahmad had found it gnawing
on his mother's throat.
And even though he was barely a teenager
he jumped on it with his bare hands.
Actually put up a hell of a fight.
That's where he got the scars, huh?
I don't suppose there's any unsolved crime
in your town, is there, Sheriff?
I don't suppose there's any more
to your story, is there?
- I'm afraid so.
- All right.
Anyhow, I heard the commotion,
ran in and killed the beast,
and Ahmad's been with me ever since.
He comes in very handy
when there's a bit of dirty work to be done.
It sounds to me like you're taking advantage
of the situation.
All set, boss.
There it is.
- I've never seen anything like it before.
- What is it? Girls' panties?
Funny stuff.
You should take your act on the road,
maybe open up for Jeff Foxworthy.
I wish. That guy's hilarious.
So, where is it?
It's right there.
- Holy shit!
- It's creepy.
It looks like a grave or something.
Totally. Let's check it out up close.
I think that's a bad idea.
Yeah, Thad, I agree.
I think we should get outta here.
You both do what you want.
I'm checking it out.
Come on, you sissies.
Frankie, it's past 12:00.
"Sporting purpose, automatic shotgun. "
SPAS-12. That's what they call an acronym.
I know what an acronym is, Struthers.
You never cease to amaze me, Sheriff.
Anyway, I dropped a black bear
in Montana with this.
Six rounds at close range,
and it fell like a sack of nails.
You know, I never quite understood
the whole sport of the hunting thing.
I prefer sports where my opponent
knows they're playing.
That's a nice gun. What the heck is that?
This, my friend,
is a Milkor MGL-140 grenade launcher.
Hit point targets from 200 feet,
area targets from 400
and it doesn't matter
whether you're drunk or sober.
After seeing what we're up against,
that little baby just might come in handy.
Emma.
Hey. You all right?
You've got to snap out of it, girl.
You made a call.
You did what you thought was right.
I killed them.
Sure, they're dead.
They got chewed up into little pieces,
but they knew what was going on
when they went in.
They chose to do it anyway.
Come on, it's not your fault.
Look, the important thing right now is
that we stop this thing
before it kills either one of us, right?
It wouldn't be a bad idea
to make sure that Struthers
and his pal don't destroy this entire lake
in the process.
There's still some good fish in this lake.
Come on.
Dumb dog.
I told you to stay away from my feet, Larry.
You freaking perv!
Rachel, that's not me!
Larry! Help me!
I'm trying.
Oh, my God!
Rachel! I'm sorry!
Help! Help!
Did you two have a nice romantic walk?
Do you have to get my boat that bloody?
You want your crocodile dead?
You let Ahmad do what he does best.
He learnt from the best.
I've already got one mangled boat
to account for,
not to mention a deputy's family
I've got to deliver some bad news to.
I'll tell you what,
I'll pay the damages to your boat.
As to your deputy, well, that's your problem.
Yeah, I'll tell you what,
I'm responsible for that boat,
so I'm gonna drive it.
- Don't touch it.
- Whatever you say, Sheriff.
Just stay out of Ahmad's way.
You about ready?
I'd love to get this over with tonight
so we can fly out of this dump.
Don't know, boss.
Something about this one
doesn't seem right.
- We may not leave this place.
- Ahmad, come on, now, you must be joking.
We've been in a hell of a lot
worse places than this.
Remember them hammerheads
down in Ecuador,
or those snakeheads in...
What was that miserable place? Baltimore.
This is different.
Real big, real smart,
fast on water and on land...
Well, we just bring it to the surface,
let it wear itself out,
bring the plane in,
we get one clean kill-shot and it's over.
We'll be fine.
Here.
What do you think built this thing?
Probably a witch.
Wait, don't turn around.
She's right behind you.
Shut up, stupid.
Shut up, Thad.
There's a bunch more in there.
They look like eggs of some kind.
Maybe you should put them back.
You're crazy.
I've never seen an egg like this.
No, maybe he's right.
Maybe we should put them back.
Kerri, put it back, please.
Okay. What kind of egg is it, smart guy?
A chicken. I don't know,
a lizard or a snake, or something.
Thad, don't!
Yeah, not smart.
Wait. I think I know what kind of egg it is.
Scrambled.
Kerri, I'm outta here.
Oh, what's up? You scared, city boy?
Eggs ain't gonna hurt you.
No, but whatever laid it might,
you dumb hick.
Don't start something you can't finish.
It'll be your darkest hour.
Stop it, Thad! You're being such a juvenile!
Oh, I get it.
This turd rolls into town
and suddenly I'm a big prick?
You want her, Scottie boy? Take her.
I don't need no chick telling me what's what.
Besides, she's gonna head off
to college and leave me
for some study buddy
or something, anyways.
Oh, sorry.
Are you gonna run and tell its mama,
or are you gonna call your daddy
the Sheriff, so he can arrest me?
Thad, don't turn around.
There's a giant crocodile behind you.
Crocs in this lake? Real funny.
I'm not kidding.
You must think I'm an idiot.
Okay.
So, there's a giant crocodile behind me?
I'm real scared.
Could you guys go get me a tissue?
I think I'm gonna cry.
Hey, hey!
Let's go. Run!
Kerri, come on!
What happened? What is that thing?
My guess is whatever laid those eggs.
She is not happy.
This is Captain Jack Struthers,
your eye in the sky.
I have no visual confirmation.
How about you, sonar?
I don't have anything either.
Just making sure you're still awake.
I can't do this all by myself.
Struthers a pretty good pilot?
No, not really.
He's failed every flight test known to man.
He's crashed three times already.
Once was even into an elementary school.
Poor kids.
Basically, he's the last person on the Earth
who should be flying a plane.
What?
It was nothing.
Wait. I got it.
It's moving fast towards the boat.
It's coming right up behind you.
James, turn the boat around, and be careful.
Did you hear that, Ahmad? Be ready.
Wait. I lost it. I lost it.
Ahmad, I thought I told you
to check everything.
I did. It was working fine.
Yeah, well, obviously you didn't.
What are you waiting for? Do it!
Wait, it's slowing down. It's slowing down.
They need air.
Let the thing wear itself out.
I'll get it when it comes back up
to the surface.
Wait. I lost it.
I lost it.
It must have bit itself free.
That was a 1500-pound line. It's impossible.
Line snapped clean.
Harpoon must still be in him.
I think you'd better get
another harpoon ready.
There he is! Ahmad, stand down.
I paid for this operation. I get the kill-shot.
No, boss, we got it.
Here it comes.
Play all the games you want.
I'm coming for you, you scaly little bastard.
I'm coming in to lure it away.
I'll be taking the kill-shot.
No, boss. I'm locking in on my shot now.
What is he doing?
He's gonna try to ram us. Shoot it. Shoot it!
What the hell was that?
Damn fool.
Jump.
This is all I could salvage
from my second boat.
I guess we could use it as firewood.
So, you lost two boats.
I lost a plane
and you don't hear me whingeing.
Well, in case you haven't noticed,
I'm not exactly
the Sheriff of Manhattan here, Struthers.
Losing two boats is gonna put
quite a crimp in my town's finances.
Well, I'll pay for your boats.
- Really?
- Yeah. Call it a donation.
I can always use the write-off.
I'll have Ahmad cut you a cheque.
Well, thanks.
Looks like Ahmad likes
to cut things, anyway.
That head's gonna look fantastic
on me wall.
Don't you think it should go
on Ahmad's wall?
He was the one who actually killed it.
Well, one thing I know is that thing
won't be eating any of us anymore.
That's the important thing, isn't it?
Right, I forgot. You came here to save lives.
You're a big hero.
I mean, I particularly like the part where you
pretended to cry
when the croc came after you.
That was really brave.
Ahmad, you wanna hurry up
with them steaks before the fire goes out?
You know what?
You should smoke one of these.
Best thing you ever tasted.
- Smells good.
- Well, it ought to.
$500 per box.
Of course, you know what would go
really well with a good cigar?
Just a wee bit of Scotch.
Well, if you were to have
a wee bit of Scotch,
I think I could forego
the open container violation.
Ahmad, take out that Johnnie Walker Blue,
would you?
Ahmad?
- Get it yourself.
- I beg your pardon?
You have a very poor way
of showing gratitude.
- Gratitude? Well, I keep you employed.
- Employed?
For years I've waited on you.
I've cooked and I've cleaned
and I've killed for you,
and never once a single thank you.
Well, need I remind you
that if it wasn't for me,
you'd still be a lion's dinner?
I saved your life,
so don't talk to me about gratitude.
Oh, I remember that lion.
I remember that lion very well,
but not because it took you four shots
to hit it at point blank range,
including this one and this one.
I remember that lion because
you've reminded me of it every day
for the past 14 years of my life.
Well, this ends today.
My debt to you is paid in full.
I wish you good luck
in finding a new employee.
Yeah, go on. Fine.
Don't need youse, anyway.
Well, I'm turning in for the night.
Tell me something, Struthers,
how long you and Ahmad been married?
I'm sure your view of the sunset
will be worth it tomorrow.
How about being a sport
and helping us out, for old time's sake?
How about you re-pitch your tent
in the lake?
It might be drier.
You think it's really necessary for you
to be enjoying yourself so much?
Maybe now you'll have some respect
for the next man who does your dirty jobs.
Well, I hope you're nice and cosy in there.
- Yes, very comfortable. Thank you.
- Son of a...
Can we stop for a break?
I think we should try and get as far away
from the lake as possible.
Scott, we don't even know where we are.
We've been wandering around for hours.
All right.
Let's try to find a hiding spot, okay?
You comfortable?
Besides being soaking wet,
freezing cold, and hungry enough
to eat an entire HomeTown Buffet?
Yeah, I'm doing excellent.
Yeah, that was
kind of a stupid question, huh?
No. It was sweet. Thanks.
- Hey, it could be worse.
- How?
I could be out here all by myself.
- Oh, God! Thank God it's you guys.
- Larry!
Where's Rachel? Is she okay?
She didn't make it. Where's Thad?
Oh, my God! We're going to die, man!
Listen. We're gonna make it,
but we can't freak out.
We gotta keep moving. Come on.
Ahmad! Ahmad! Ahmad! Ahmad!
Come on! Come on! Go!
Ahmad! Come on!
James!
James!
Ahmad, hang on!
He's gone.
Where's Ahmad?
It's okay. I'm pretty sure
owls have never eaten anybody.
Yeah? How do you know?
I didn't think there was alligators
up in Maine either.
Actually, I think it's a crocodile.
I heard rumours that one got lost
up here several years ago.
Hello? It's Sheriff Riley.
Anybody there? Come in.
Sheriff, Sheriff, I'm here. I'm here.
How are you holding up?
It's not going so good.
There's another of those darn crocodiles
out here, just took out Struthers' man.
Listen, would you please get on the phone
and talk to Mike Hobson Jr?
Tell him we can't wait
around for him anymore.
We need that boat ASAP.
Will do.
Oh, and Sheriff...
What?
I almost forgot.
Scott called over today,
said to tell you he's going camping
with some friends tonight at the lake.
I haven't heard from him since.
I thought I told you to close the lake.
Nobody's supposed to be on the lake.
Yeah, I wasn't entirely sure
what you meant by that.
When I get back to the office
I'm gonna throw a dart at you. Over.
Over.
- Damn it!
- What's up?
My son is out there
somewhere on the lake with his friends.
I gotta go find him.
Well, might as well bring some firepower.
- Bring your acronym.
- My what?
B.Y.A.
He probably went to the campground
over by Crazy Sadie's.
What do we do?
- Run.
- Don't. It's too fast. It'll catch us.
Well, what do we do, then?
- We go up.
- You fucking kidding me?
- Scott! Watch out!
- Scott!
Hurry! Move your leg.
Scott, come on.
- Get him up! Come on!
- Go. Go!
- Get up here!
- Keep going!
What is that?
- I thought you shut down the lake.
- Yeah, I did shut down the lake.
We're going to Sadie Bickerman's house,
find out exactly what we're up against.
Sadie!
I need to talk to you!
You're a little late, Sheriff.
Did you get that warrant,
or did you just come by
to take a peek at an old lady in a nightie?
Look, I don't have time for your games.
I've got some questions.
I need some straight answers.
Well, unless you're arresting me,
all I got for you is nothing.
Have it your way, Sadie.
You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say can and will be
used against you in a court of law.
I already told you, I don't know anything
about this crocodile business.
Sadie!
I already told you, I have some questions
and I need some damn answers from you.
I'd ask you all in for a nightcap but I think
you'd all look better in a dunce cap.
- Listen, Sadie, for crying out loud...
- This is serious.
- People's lives are at stake.
- Too bad you can't talk to my sister.
I heard she had quite a history
with crocodiles.
Sadie, my son is out there right now
somewhere with his friends.
- My son, Sadie. Please.
- Maybe I know a little something.
That's great.
Anything you can tell us will help.
Somebody tell Trixie to shut her cake hole
before I change my mind.
Emma.
There are three of them. Okay?
Three of them?
There's Max.
I named him after my late husband because
he was always hungry, like Max was.
Then there's George Jr,
named after the President
because he was slow, too.
And the last one was big girl Martha,
Martha Stewart,
pretty tough bird in her own right.
How do you know she's female?
She got a mean streak
I ain't never seen in no man.
Also...
I caught George Jr trying to stick it to her
one night on the shore.
I wonder which one of these darlings
Ahmad took out.
- Struthers.
- Pardon me?
I just said, they're adorable names.
Cram it, fancy pants.
You think I'm some dumb cluck.
- I know what you're trying to do to them!
- Sadie, Sadie, Sadie, Sadie.
Tell me, what have you been
feeding these things?
What is it?
It's nothing. Go back to sleep.
Oh, my gosh. That's vile.
Don't tell me you're
one of those vegetarians.
No, that meat is pumped
so full of growth hormones,
I'm surprised those crocs are still alive.
Well, I can't afford three tons
of Kobe beef a month.
My Social Security cheques
ain't what they used to be.
This is all you been feeding them, Sadie,
beef rejected by the FDA?
Pretty much.
I've noticed they've been
a lot hungrier lately.
Yesterday Martha ate a big rat off my dock.
We gotta go out and find those kids.
Sadie, listen, I want to thank you
for giving me this information.
I know it couldn't have been easy for you.
When I do what it is I have to do,
I promise I'll be as humane as possible.
Good luck.
My babies sure as hell won't be
so humane with you.
Larry, come on, dude, wake up.
Larry! Wake up, dude.
- It's your turn to be lookout.
- Yeah, okay, fine.
Keep your eyes peeled for that thing.
Wake us up if it goes back into the lake.
- I know. I'm not stupid.
- Lf you say so.
Oh, no. Scott! Scott?
Wait a minute. That's not Scott.
I recognise that sneaker.
That's Thaddeus, old man Sanders' boy.
- Poor kid.
- Oh, my God.
What is this thing?
It's a nest, which means
mama croc is nearby and she's territorial
and she's hungry and she's ticked.
- Sounds like the ex-wife.
- It's not funny.
We need to get these eggs out of here
as soon as possible before they hatch.
Yeah, let's split up.
Struthers, stay here with Emma
and help her get the eggs out.
Get them out?
I think we should blow them up.
Not a chance.
We need to get these eggs out of here
and back to the lab as soon as possible.
Well, whatever the hell it is you do,
do it in a hurry.
Okay, well, we'll meet you back
at the campsite. You go find Scott?
All right. Give me the grenade launcher.
Give me the grenade launcher!
You two be careful.
- You hear me?
- Yeah.
Scott!
Larry, you okay?
Don't worry, guys. I'm fine.
- Yo, this ground is really soft.
- Larry, don't move.
That's not the ground.
What the heck are you talking about?
Don't do that.
Oh, shit!
Run!
Scott! Anybody, can you hear me?
Now's our chance.
If we hop down and run,
we can make it to the road
before it gets back,
and then we're home free.
- I'm not going down there. No way.
- We can't stay up here forever.
Who knows when help's gonna get here?
It's now or never.
- You think we can make it?
- Yeah.
- Okay. You first.
- All right. Keep an eye out.
Okay. Come on.
Wait. It's still here.
We're gonna do it on three.
- What if it catches us?
- It won't.
- I'm scared, Scott.
- Don't be. Ready?
One, two, three.
Daisy.
- Wait! She'll be okay. We gotta run now!
- No!
- What about Daisy?
- We'll come back for her.
Scott!
Scott!
Get down.
You two okay?
- Yeah. Yeah, we're fine. But Thad and...
- Yeah, I know. I saw him.
I thought for a second he was you.
Is there anybody else out here with you?
- Long story.
- Tell me on the way out of here.
We gotta... We gotta leave.
There's still another one of those
damn things around here somewhere.
Come on.
This nest would explain
their sudden aggression.
Protecting the young is serious business.
Well, that's truly fascinating.
But right now I'm more concerned
with the serious business
of protecting me own arse,
so let's finish this up, huh?
Here, let me give you a hand with that.
- You all right?
- Me knees, an old injury.
- Hunting?
- Tango lessons, actually.
Sadie! Open up. Hi.
You must be Sheriff Jr,
I guess you didn't get eaten.
You know your dad's a dumb doofus,
don't you?
Yeah.
- He's a nice boy, Sheriff.
- Thank you...
Focus. Listen, I need these two
to stay here until backup arrives.
And I need to go get something
out of your freezer. Thank you.
Pretty soon I'm gonna have to start
charging you rent.
- Send a bill to the State.
- Come on in.
Just make sure you wipe your feet
before you...
Oh, Lord.
Look at that. Raised in a barn?
Come on in.
Wait! Dad, please let me help you.
I don't have time to explain this
to you again right now, son.
What if you don't make it back? Then what?
If anything were to happen to you out there
I'd never be able to forgive myself.
It'd be a hell of a lot worse
than me not making it back.
Look,
you saved Kerri's life. I'm real proud of you.
But you gotta stay here.
You gotta take care of her.
She needs you right now
a whole lot more than I do.
Besides, I think she kind of likes you.
She does like me, doesn't she?
Somebody's getting older.
Somebody's getting smarter.
I'll see you, son.
- Dad?
- Yes!
Good luck.
Good luck to you, too.
Are you sure this is a good idea?
I mean, I think we was pretty well situated
back at the campsite.
Well, can you see the nest?
No. But I can see the Sheriff.
Riley! Over here!
I got this out of Sadie's freezer
to use as bait.
The kids will be safe there.
What the hell are you doing here?
I thought I told you
to wait back at the camp.
Well, Struthers was gonna get up
high enough to see the nest, but...
Come on, Struthers, stop loafing.
Get up there.
Come on, I got a plan.
- Happy climbing, Struthers.
- He's got a plan.
Well, I'm sure it's better than yours.
A good Scout always has a Plan B.
So, do you really think it's gonna eat
one of these things?
It doesn't actually have to eat
one of these things.
It just has to get close enough
so that I can ruin its day
when I push this button.
Besides, anything's better than hoping
Struthers gets off a good shot, right?
Come on.
Thank you.
- I didn't know anybody lived out here.
- Yeah. Just me.
But I get visitors from time to time.
It must get lonely.
Do you have any kids?
You could say so.
Two of them died recently.
They were good boys.
I loved them a whole lot.
Three of my friends died out there.
They were eaten by these big,
ugly monsters.
- Ugly? Is that so?
- Yeah.
You should've seen them.
Big, nasty creatures. They were vicious.
Pretty young girls.
Nothing, dear. Scott?
- Will you do an old lady a favour?
- Sure.
I don't like it out here.
I wanna go back inside.
She's right. It's probably safer
inside your house, Mrs Bickerman.
Okay. Don't be such wusses.
I want to show Kerri something
and then we'll head back in.
Look. Look. See?
Those are white perch.
- Excitable little things, aren't they?
- I don't really like fish.
- I wanna go back inside now, okay?
- No, no, don't go. Just...
- No, please! Let go of me!
- Wait for a minute. Wait. Wait.
Let go of me! Let go!
Help! Let go!
Kerri, look out!
There's four of them.
I hate that rabbit.
- The eggs are making a weird noise.
- No, no, I read about that.
They chirp when they wanna
let the mother know they're about to hatch.
Emma, the mama crocodile's
right over there.
She's not gonna go to the nest.
She's gonna go right to the eggs.
Get out of there!
- Struthers, take a shot.
- I can't see.
- Take a shot!
- I can't see!
James!
If I shoot with this I'm gonna blow
the whole place up. Take a damn shot!
You are useless.
Son of a bitch never had a chance!
I guess you've got a head
for your wall now, huh, Emma?
Well, look at that.
Emma and the Sheriff, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
How about me?
I'm swinging up here in the tree!
Nice.
Oh, well, isn't that beautiful?
What a picture they make.
Wait here.
Say good night, Gracie.
Damn it, Scott, I thought I told you to stay...
Bickerman lied about her crocs.
There's four of them.
Four of them?
If anything happens to me,
you make sure Emma gets out of here alive.
Emma, get back.
I'm gonna blow this thing
right into the middle of next week.
After a while, crocodile.
Dad, here!
- Hey! We're here!
- Thank God.
Scott, come here.
Look, I'm gonna take Emma
and these eggs to the lab.
- I'll probably be home pretty late.
- Okay.
- I'm trusting you here.
- Okay. Okay.
I hope all this didn't scare you out of town.
Me? Nah, I'm still here for the summer.
I'm not sure how much time I'm gonna be
spending down by the lake, though.
Tell me about it.
Boston College is looking
a lot more inviting now.
Not too many crocodiles on those streets,
mostly just drunks.
But don't worry, they don't bite.
Daisy!
- Good girl. Good girl.
- Wow, dog sure knows how to milk it.
Apparently, I should have faked
my own death.
- Scott.
- Kidding. Kidding.
- So, how are our passengers doing?
- Oh, they seem to be fine.
- Just watch the bumps.
- I'll watch the bumps.
- How much further is this place?
- About two hours.
We can stop in Bangor for dinner
if you want.
Really?
So, finally giving me a second
chance at another date, huh?
- On one condition.
- What's that?
No talking about ex-wives or crocodiles.
- Deal?
- Deal.