# We're the ladies of the chorus #
# Here to sing and dance for you #
# Our flirty, flirty eyes
Will wink in your direction #
# We will throw you all a kiss
That's filled with sweet affection #
# If you keep applauding for us #
# We will give a better show #
# A great big howdy do #
# From the ladies of the chorus #
# Just for you #
# We're the ladies of the chorus #
# Here to sing and dance for you #
# Our flirty, flirty eyes #
# Will wink in your direction #
# We will throw you all a kiss #
# That's filled with sweet affection #
# If you keep applauding for us #
# We will give a better show #
# A great big howdy do
From the ladies of the chorus #
# Just for you ##
Rita, what was that
you were saying about Al?
When that guy
takes you to dinner,
first thing you know,
you're shadow-boxing.
Oh, so he's no shadow.
He says, " Listen, baby, if you're a good
girl, I'll put you in a Broadway show. "
I suppose he thinks
that's a new angle.
Millie, the guy writes me a letter
and says he wants to marry me,
'cause two can live as cheaply as
one, so long as one of us is working.
Well, what's
the matter with that?
Nothing. Only I'm
the one that's working.
So I said, " Listen, wise guy. I don't
like anybody driving with one hand. "
So the schmo takes his
other hand, off the wheel
and we crash into a tree.
I wonder why my girdle's
getting so small.
Dearie, maybe you're
crowding too much into it.
My dogs are killing me.
Mine are, too.
I got a date
with a cab driver.
Yeah?
Where are you going?
Who's going?
We're parking.
There's no business
like show business.
Ah, shut up.
Would you help me, honey?
Well, look who's here.
The star herself.
The queen of the quivers.
Hi, Bubbles.
Slumming, Bubbles?
It's so seldom we're
honoured by a visit from the star.
Ain't you off
the reservation, dearie?
Maybe she's getting
material for a book.
Oh, can she write?
Turn blue!
Hi, Peg.
Hello, Bubbles.
Want to go on a date?
Oh, he's a swell guy.
Crazy to meet you.
Oh, when are you going to stop being
tied to your old lady's apron strings?
Why don't you let the kid
go out and have some fun,
before her hair turns
as grey as yours.
I don't mind her going out, Bubbles,
but not with your particular
kind of friends.
Course, if she wants to
go, it's all right with me,
but I don't think she wants to go.
Okay, Mother.
I'll just get one of
the others to go along.
Now, which one of you ladies
wants to go on a blind date?
Wait a minute. Wait a minute!
I'm going to make some coffee.
Would you like some?
No, thanks.
How about some crackers and milk?
I don't think so.
What's the matter, honey?
When are you going to
let me feel grown up?
Letting you go out with Bubbles LaRue
and her men friends,
will that make you
feel grown up?
No. I don't mean those kind,
but I never go out with anyone.
Do you feel bitter about that?
Not bitter, Mother.
Why should you want to go out on a
blind date with some middle-aged guy
who's probably married,
has a family?
There you go judging people,
criticising them
when you don't even know them.
You always do that, Mother.
Look, darling, I...
I'm sick of the idea of not
being able to go anywhere
or do anything without
the written consent of my mother.
I'm tired of being treated
like a child. I'm going to bed.
If I've got to do one more
show, I'm going to drop dead.
I can't make it.
15 minutes. 15.
Ah, shut up.
So I went out, and that
cab driver forgot to park.
He says, " I'd like
to see your show, baby.
"How about a couple of passes?"
The guys I go out with
don't want passes.
They just make them.
Speaking of passes, I've been
knocking down so many lately,
I feel like an All-American.
Get a load of them lilacs.
Dearie, them
ain't no lilacs.
Of course not.
Those are snapdragons.
On her, they look good.
Hi, Peg.
Hi, Bubbles.
Like it?
It's lovely.
You know, you could have
something like that, too.
That party still wants to meet you,
and he's awfully generous.
Why don't you go away
and leave Peggy alone.
I'll speak for myself.
Oh, the voice of the turtle,
finally coming out of your shell.
Oh, go crawl back
into the woodwork.
Why, you gray-haired old hag.
Shut your mouth,
or I'll slap it shut.
Oh, no, you won't.
Oh, no?
Call my mother an old hag.
You...!
Hey! Let go!
Hey, what's going on here?
Break it up. Break it up.
Break it up.
Cut it out, will you?
What do you think this is,
Madison Square Garden?
She ain't going to get away with this!
Just get her out of here, that's all.
Okay, okay. A fine thing, fighting
like a couple of alley cats.
What are you trying to do,
give burlesque a bad name?
Well, if you think...
I'm not supposed to think.
I'm the stage manager.
My job is to get this show on.
Now, beat it onstage,
all of you.
Can't you hear the overture?
Come on, places, everybody.
Come on, now, fix your
make-ups and get up there.
Ever see anybody hurry you so?
All rushed about.
Oh, your wig, Mother.
You, too. Get dressed.
Who are you ordering around?
What do you want me to do,
say please?
I ain't one of your stooges.
Okay, so you're the big attraction for
this cookie, and you get top billing.
So if you'd have stayed in your dressing room and let
these kids alone, there wouldn't have been no trouble.
So the show
is about to start.
So get out there
and get dressed.
Is that so?
Well, I ain't going out there.
I'm quitting. Right now,
this minute, see?
This turkey can fold, for all I care.
Hey, maybe you can get that
old hag to go on in my place.
Oh, she ought to kill them with her
corny wig and her bones cracking.
Oh, Mae.
Joe, I'm sorry.
Forget it.
Bubbles just walked out.
Walked out?
Yeah, quit.
Gee, that's tough.
I want you to go on and do her number.
Me?
Sure.
You can still go out there and knock
the customers cold like you used to.
That was years ago, Joe.
Let's face it...
Yeah, and leave us face it, Mae.
The show must go on, remember?
Okay. It'll go on.
Attagirl.
Use Bubbles' dressing room.
The costumes
are all in there.
What did Joe want?
Peggy, you're going on
in Bubbles' spot.
What? What happened?
Bubbles just walked out.
But, Mother...
Baby, you know
the number backwards.
I'll have the orchestra change the key,
and you can use Bubbles' dressing room.
# Anyone can see I love you #
# Anyone can see I care #
# The way I hold your hand
And smile in your direction #
# Tells the world my heart is filled
With nothing but affection #
# Lock me in your arms for ever #
# That's the place I want to be #
# So anyone can see
That I belong to you #
# And you belong to me #
That's class.
Bubbles never
did it like that.
That's too good
for this turkey.
You put one
over on me, Mae.
Aren't you glad?
Yes, I am.
And the kid stays
in that spot.
Thanks, Joe.
# Lock me in your arms for ever #
# That's the place I want to be #
# So anyone can see
That I belong to you #
# And you belong to me ##
Well, where are we taking my
Cleveland cousin tonight, Pete?
It's all set. We're
going to see Peggy Martin.
Excellent.
Who's Peggy Martin?
The new darling of burlesque.
Burlesque?
Yeah. Have you
ever seen one?
I can't say I have.
Oh, you haven't lived.
Oh, well. Well, let's live.
Boy, Randy, we're going
to get you initiated.
How about it, Pete?
You remember the way?
Do I remember the way?
Boy, I ought to.
I get my mail there.
# It was cold outside of Tiffany's #
# I was shivering in the storm #
# I walked in and asked a gentleman #
# "Could I please keep warm?" #
# He asked me,
"How come a baby doll #
# "Has no comfy place to go?" #
# So I told that kindly gentleman #
# My tale of woe #
# Every baby needs a da-da-daddy #
# To keep her worry-free #
# Every baby needs a da-da-daddy #
# But where's the one for me? #
# Rich or poor
I don't care who #
# If he hasn't got a million
Then a half will do #
# Every baby needs a da-da-daddy #
# Could my da-daddy be you? #
She's lovely, isn't she?
Don't get any ideas.
Yeah, cousin,
she's got a mother.
Yeah, everybody's got a mother.
But her mother's a
one-man security council.
Right. She knocks off wolves
like they were clay pigeons.
What did you say?
# Every baby needs a da-da-daddy #
# With silver in his hair #
# Every baby needs a da-da-daddy #
# Who has some gold to spare #
# Some sweet softie who enjoys #
# Bringing home his baby
Little diamond toys, oh, ho #
# Every baby needs a da-da-daddy #
# Could my da-daddy be you? #
# Every baby needs a da-da-daddy #
# In case she runs aground #
# Do-do, every baby
Needs a da-da-daddy #
# To keep her safe and sound #
# Yes, we feel just
like Red Riding Hood #
# 'Cause the wolves are awful hungry
In our neighbourhood #
# Oh, every baby
Needs a da-da-daddy #
# Could my da-daddy be you? #
# Could my da-daddy be you? ##
Peggy?
Yes, Mother.
Need any help?
I don't think so.
Do you like my hair?
Turn around, honey.
Come in.
For you, Miss Martin.
Thank you, Mr Gregg.
Oh, it's beautiful.
From that bookmaker again?
No, I don't think so.
He sends violets.
"Thank you for
a most enjoyable evening. "
Who is it?
There's no name.
No name?
Well, that's strange.
I wonder who it could be.
Oh, probably some politician
who's bashful, or married.
For you, Miss Martin.
Thank you, Mr Gregg.
You'll soon be known
as the orchid lady.
"To a charming young lady. "
"Would love to meet you. "
Peggy, another one.
Whoever he is, he certainly
has cornered the orchid market.
What does it say this time?
"An ardent admirer. "
Hmm, another orchid.
He must be a florist.
Are you sure
you never met him?
No, but I'd like to, just to see
what kind of a character he is.
Oh, he's probably very dull.
Well, darling, I've got some shopping
to do. I'll see you at the apartment.
Okay, Mother.
Florist.
Oh. Can I help you?
Yes, I think so.
Something for yourself?
Cocktail party, opera?
Oh, isn't that
a beautiful orchid?
Oh, the one in the box.
That's an order.
Oh, I've just got to tell this.
You know, there's a fellow
comes in here every evening
and sends one of them
orchids to his girl.
A real good customer?
I'll say. And good-looking, too.
He should be here any
minute. Lives in a hotel.
He comes in every evening
around 6 without fail.
Pays cash, has it sent and never
signs his name to the card.
How strange.
And you know what?
This will kill you.
He sends it to Peggy Martin,
the burlesque queen,
over at the Rome Theatre.
No.
So help me.
Can you imagine? Sending all
them orchids to a burlesque queen.
There's no telling about
a man's taste, I always say. Hmm.
Well, dearie, have you made up your
mind what kind of flowers you want?
Oh, let me see.
Oh, carnations.
Okay. One dozen?
Two dozen?
One will do.
One dozen.
No, no. Just one carnation.
That'll be 10 cents, please.
Thank you.
Want me to put it
in a box for you?
No, thank you.
I'll take it like this.
Good afternoon.
Good afternoon.
Nice day, wasn't it?
Very nice day. Yes, it was.
You'll be sure to send this
right away, won't you?
Wouldn't you rather
deliver it in person?
No, thanks, I...
Miss Martin.
Yes.
Well, aren't you going
to give me the orchid?
Orchid... Oh, yes,
yes, the orchid.
Thank you.
Thank you.
And your name's
still not on the card.
It's Randy.
It's Randy what?
It's Randy what?
Oh. Randy Carroll.
Nice to meet you, Mr Carroll.
Thank you.
I've been planning for a week
what I'd say when I met you.
And what did you decide?
L... I hadn't decided yet.
Miss Martin, I...
Well, Miss Martin...
Yes, Mr Carroll?
Would you go to dinner with me?
I'd love to.
Oh, so would I.
Oh.
They're dead out there
tonight, girls.
Come on, now,
let's wake them up.
Peggy?
Joe, has Peggy come in yet?
I ain't seen her, Mae.
I wonder what happened to her.
She didn't come home to dinner.
What? She's onstage
in 15 minutes.
Sorry, Joe.
Step on it. You're practically on.
I'll make it.
Peggy, where were you?
I waited till 6 and then had
dinner at the cafeteria.
I phoned home a little after 6.
You know, Mother, I had
the most wonderful time.
And he isn't a character
or a wolf at all.
He's a perfect gentleman.
You should have seen the expression
on his face when he saw me.
Who are you talking about?
Randy Carroll.
And who's Randy Carroll?
He's the fella that's been
sending me all those orchids.
And he's anxious to meet you.
You're on, Miss Martin.
Coming, Joe.
I'll tell you all about it
later, Mother.
Would you please tell Miss Martin
that Randy Carroll's waiting?
Yes, sir.
Say, dad, are you the one that
delivers the flowers to Miss Martin?
Uh-huh.
Thanks.
Are you the one that sends them?
Uh-huh.
Must be expensive.
Oh...
Oh. Well, yes, they are.
You've been a big help to me.
So have you.
Then we had dinner, and he asked me if he could
see me tonight after the show, and I said he could.
Is that all right, Mother?
Come in.
Mr Carroll to see you, Miss Martin.
Oh, tell him I'll be right out.
Yes, ma'am.
Oh, Gregg.
Please have Mr Carroll come in.
You said he was
anxious to meet me.
Well, yes, he is.
Well, all right, then.
Won't you come in?
Hello.
Hello.
Oh, Randy, I want you
to meet somebody.
Yeah.
Mother, this is Randy Carroll.
"Mother"?
How do you do?
So glad to know you. I...
hope it's all right.
My coming in here, I mean.
Of course it's all right.
It's the first time
I've ever been backstage.
You're not disappointed?
Oh, no. It's wonderful.
Mother, Randy...
I mean, Mr Carroll wants me
to go to the Waldorf Roof tonight.
Yes. Uh... Will you, uh?
Will you join us?
No, thanks. You two run along
and have a good time.
All right. I won't be late.
Goodnight, Mrs Martin.
Goodnight.
Are you sure you won't join us?
Well, goodnight.
Goodnight.
Shall we dance?
I'd love to.
# Lock me in your arms for ever #
# That's the place I want to be #
# So anyone can see
That I belong to you #
# And you belong to me #
# Anyone can see
I love you #
# Anyone can see I care #
# The way I hold your hand #
# And smile in your direction #
# Tells the world my heart is filled
With nothing but affection ##
Don't stop. Go on.
Why don't you sing the rest.
Me?
Uh-huh.
I don't think I know all the words.
Well, then, make up
some of your own.
Okay. I'll try.
Anyone can see I... I love you.
You know how much I care.
The way I hold your hand
and smile in your direction...
tells the world my heart is filled
with nothing but affection.
Mother. Mother.
Why aren't you in bed?
Oh. I was reading.
I must have dozed off.
Do you know
what time it is?
No, what time is it?
It's after 3.
Good heaven.
Well, did you have
a good time, dear?
Wonderful.
Where'd you go?
Club Embassy.
That's nice.
Well, I guess I'll go to bed.
Mother?
Yes, dear?
I...
I want to talk to you.
Won't it keep till morning?
No.
It's about Randy.
What about Randy?
He... He...
Peggy, what are you
trying to say?
He asked me to marry him.
Oh. What did you say?
I told him he'd have to
get your consent.
And what did he say to that?
He's going to
ask you tomorrow.
Oh, you will say yes,
won't you, Mother?
And if I don't, I suppose
you'll marry him anyway.
I don't know.
I hadn't thought about that.
Let's go to bed, darling. We'll
talk about it in the morning.
Hello, Mrs Martin.
Hello, Randy. Come in.
Thank you.
I... I suppose you know
why I'm here.
Yes, I know. Peggy told me that
you asked her to marry you.
That's right.
You want my consent?
Very much.
You're a fine boy, Randy. I
like you, and Peggy loves you.
Then, it's all right?
Oh, just a minute.
I haven't finished.
I have no objections to you,
Randy. I'm sure you know that.
And I want Peggy to marry
the man she loves.
Usually, that's all that matters
when two people are in love
and want to get married.
But sometimes there are
other things to be considered.
What could be more important than
that Peggy and I love each other?
Well, I'll try to explain.
Peggy doesn't belong
in your world.
She belongs in the
show world. Burlesque.
Burlesque queen, that's
what people call her.
What difference
does that make?
You don't care.
But what about your mother
and your friends?
What will they say when you
bring a burlesque girl home
and introduce as your wife?
They'd better say it's wonderful.
And how do you think Peggy will
feel when she's snubbed by them?
When she sees that your
mother's ashamed of her?
Peggy's happiness means everything
in the world to me, Randy.
And to me, Mrs Martin.
I'll make her happy.
I'm sure you would,
if it were entirely up to you.
Look, if my friends won't accept Peggy,
then I don't want them as friends.
And if your mother
won't accept her?
That's impossible.
You don't know Mother.
She'll love Peggy just as I do.
Another young man
said the same thing.
Who was that?
Peggy's father.
Oh.
And what happened?
Well, I was just about
Peggy's age,
very much in love.
He was a fine, handsome boy.
Alan Wakeley. The Boston Wakeleys.
I was the happiest girl in the world.
# Got a man, got a man #
# What a man #
# Sweet as any man could be #
# Got a man, got a man #
# What a man #
# Are you wondering
Who he can be? #
# I'm so crazy for you #
# Oh, so crazy for you #
# When we kiss
Can't you tell #
# My heart's dizzy
Running round a padded cell? #
# I'm so wild about you #
# Baby, what'll I do? #
# Got the shivers, got the shakes #
# Cut it out, for goodness' sakes #
# I'm so crazy for you #
# Adorable, adorable you ##
Ain't he the
persistent one?
That's Alan Wakeley, you dope.
He's Mae's steady.
Oh, is that
who he is?
Get this.
Say, Mr Wakeley,
ain't you got no home?
Sure I have, but Mae
doesn't live there yet.
Not bad.
Quick on the trigger.
Hello, Alan.
Oh, you look beautiful, Mae.
Thank you.
You know, one of these days, you're going
to throw this into deep centre field.
Oh, no. Not with my control.
Oh, hey, how about
my fielding average?
Where will it be tonight,
Delmonico's or the Plaza?
That little nook
at Delmonico's.
That's an idea. I've never
proposed to you there, have I?
And please not tonight, Alan.
I just don't understand you, Mae.
You say you love me,
and yet you won't marry me.
It doesn't make sense.
I'm sorry.
Look, Mae, your reasons
for not marrying me...
Must we go through
all that again?
Darling, I've told you
a thousand times.
I don't give a rap
what my friends think.
If they won't accept you,
then they can go to blazes.
As for my mother, well,
you just don't know her.
She'll love you as much as I do.
I refused Alan that night
and many nights after that.
But he just wouldn't give up.
There were dances
and dinners and flowers.
I couldn't have been happier.
But always it was the
same thing, until finally, I...
You agreed to marry him.
Yes.
I'll never forget that night.
It was the night that Billy Mackay
and I brok e in the new act.
I'll bet you didn't
think I was going to show up, huh?
Did you see a big blond?
A big blond came down and says
there's a big party upstairs.
Everybody's singing
and dancing...
You're too beautiful, kid.
So I joined the party.
But there always has to be
a wise guy in every party.
And there was one of them guys
in this party.
He made a few unnecessary remarks.
I want to
see you right after this scene.
I want to see you, too.
Who is it?
It's me, Billy.
Come on in.
Ah, the scene went great, Mae.
You know, I got something to
ask you, and tonight's the night.
Billy, congratulate me.
You're congratulated. What for?
I'm getting married.
Married?
Uh-huh.
Well... What do you know?
I'm leaving the show Saturday night.
Wakeley?
Yes.
Well, I wish you luck.
Only, I don't know. I'm afraid.
Oil and water don't mix.
Billy, I think I know what you mean,
but Alan and I will work it out.
Yeah. Sure, you'll work it out.
You know, I never told you, but...
Not that it'd make any difference,
but I've been in love with you
for a long time myself.
You're a swell guy.
Yeah. Well, if it don't work out...
Of course it's going to work out.
Oh, what do you
want to tell me, Billy?
Oh, uh...
Gee, I forgot what it was.
Couldn't have been
very important, huh? See you.
Oh, closing night,
we'll give you a swell party.
I'll be the head waiter.
I'll arrange everything.
# I'm so crazy for you ##
So, you see, Randy,
I was warned.
Somehow I felt that everything
would be all right.
Alan insisted on getting married first
and telling his mother afterwards.
He wanted it to be a surprise.
And what a surprise it was.
I was very happy those first few
weeks in the home of Alan's parents.
Everyone treated me like a queen.
Until they found out I was
a queen. A burlesque queen.
Alan's mother was furious,
and his friends were horrified.
There were terrible scenes after that.
When I couldn't stand it any longer,
I slipped out of the house
one night and left Boston.
What happened
to Alan?
His father sent him off to Europe
and had the marriage annulled.
And you never tried
to get in touch with him?
I had no reason to.
Then what did you do?
What could I do?
I went back to the only thing
I knew, burlesque.
In the middle
of the act, poor kid.
Is the doctor still in there?
Doc, how is she?
It's all right.
Nothing to worry about.
Of course, she should not
be working.
What's wrong with her?
Nothing wrong with her. She's
going to be a mother. That's all.
A mother!
You mean right now?
Well, not right this minute.
Well, what do you know.
Peggy was born
four months later.
For a long time, we lived
in theatre dressing rooms.
As soon as she was old enough,
I put her in school.
And I continued on in burlesque.
Not as its queen. I became just
one of the ladies of the chorus.
Boo!
Billy!
Mae!
Oh, Billy, it's so good to see you.
I was out front watching you.
Kitten, you're still the cutest.
How do you feel, Mae?
Oh, I'm fine. Gee, you look wonderful.
Oh, I feel good, too.
What are you doing here?
Did the show close?
No, the show's
playing Boston this week.
You weren't laid off?
No, no, I quit.
Let's get out of here. This traffic...
You quit?
Yeah. This traffic is like
Grand Central Station.
But you can't afford to.
You're not as young as
you used to be, you know.
Oh, I don't know.
Besides, I got a few
simoleons stashed away.
It's like this.
I got a letter from Peggy.
She's graduating from high school.
Yes, Billy, she is.
Well, it wouldn't be an
honest-to-goodness graduation
without your old Uncle Billy,
would it? So here I am.
Same old Billy.
Oh, cut it out, Mae. You'll embarrass
me in front of all these people.
Oh, I got a little present
for Peggy's graduation.
You think she'll like it?
Oh, it's beautiful.
She'll love it. Oh, but, Billy, you
shouldn't have done it. You can't afford it.
Oh, it's nothing. It's a little thing
I bought a long time ago.
Uh... It's for Peggy, remember?
Well, that's about all there is.
After graduation, Peggy
insisted on going to work,
and she managed to get
in the same chorus with me.
That was her way
of helping out.
So you see, Randy, the marriage you propose
for Peggy didn't work out in my case,
and it won't in yours.
You're wrong.
People are different today.
They're more broad-minded
about such things.
Mother will accept Peggy
for what she is.
It won't work.
Mrs Martin, I hope you'll
forgive me for saying this,
but you have
a mother complex.
I'll consent to the marriage,
on one condition.
Yes, what is it?
That you tell your mother you're going
to marry Peggy Martin, a burlesque queen.
I don't want you
to misunderstand me.
I agree that your experience
wasn't a happy one.
But I do think you're being very
short-sighted to inject your bitterness
into Peggy's future.
I'll tell Mother. That
was always my intention.
Good day, Mrs Martin.
Yes?
It's me, Mother. May I come in?
Well, yes, dear, come in.
What are you doing up so early?
Couldn't sleep.
Oh, something on your mind?
Something you didn't
tell me last night?
Yes, and it's...
It's very important.
Randy, you're in love.
How did you know?
It's very simple.
You're just like your father.
Every time he had anything on his mind,
it was sure to be written on his face.
Okay, you win.
Well, anyhow, she's...
Don't tell me.
Let me guess.
Hazel Langley?
No.
Mertis Rogers?
No, no.
Ann Crawford? No?
No, it's none of them, Mother. It's...
Well, then, who is it?
Peggy. Peggy Martin.
Oh. The Boston Martins?
No, just plain Martin, Mother.
No social position.
But does it make any difference, as
long as Peggy and I love each other?
She's wonderful.
And so's her mother.
Well, can't you tell me
something of their background?
Background? I'll, uh...
I want you
to meet them first.
And when you get to know them, I'll
tell you all about their background.
All right, dear, if
that's the way you want it.
Why not invite them here to
spend a couple of weeks with us.
Oh, Mom, you always
say the right thing.
I love you.
You know, you're a doll.
Sure you've
got everything?
Just a few little things
left in the bedroom.
Uncle Billy!
Well, how's my little gal?
Hi, Mae.
Oh, it's wonderful to see you. We
were afraid you wouldn't make it.
Oh, I got your call, so... What's
the do? You folks going some place?
To Cleveland. We're going
to visit Randy's mother.
She's invited us.
Isn't it wonderful?
Oh, it sure is, honey.
We're leaving on the 2: 10 train.
Oh, Uncle Billy, I'm the
happiest girl in the world.
You'd better start thinking about coming
to Cleveland to give the bride away.
You bet I will.
I've got to finish
packing, Uncle Billy.
Well, I sure hope this works out.
It will, Billy. Randy has told
his mother we're from burlesque.
Burlesque. Seems
I've heard of that.
This must be the place.
Yes, we've lived
in Cleveland all our lives.
My husband started
his business here.
Of course, he had branch offices in
New York and Chicago and Los Angeles.
We saw a great deal of
those cities and Europe, too.
I suppose you're a native New Yorker.
Oh, yes.
What was your
husband's business?
Uh, brokerage,
Mother.
Really?
Yes, he was a Boston man.
Oh, we've some very
dear friends in Boston.
Do you know the Drummonds
by any chance?
No, Mrs Carroll.
Or the Peter Milners?
Uh... No.
What schools
did you attend, my dear?
Well, Mrs Carroll, I...
Excuse me, Madame. Mrs
Brewster is on the telephone.
Will you excuse me?
Randy, you didn't
keep your promise.
No, I didn't.
But why, after I made it
perfectly clear?
Well, maybe I should have.
But, well, I thought I'd tell Mother
after she got to know you.
Give her a chance to see for
herself what kind of people you are.
It was a mistake not to tell her.
I don't think so.
Maybe Randy's right, Mother.
I hope so.
Oh, I almost forgot. The
gang's over at Roger Clark's.
I want them
to meet Peggy.
Why, of course, dear. I know how
anxious your friends are to see Peggy.
Yes, they are. Come on,
honey. See you later.
Don't be late for dinner.
We won't.
We're going over to the Brewsters'
tonight to have a few hours of bridge.
You do play bridge,
don't you?
Oh, I'm afraid not. I could
never get interested in it.
That's perfectly all right, my dear.
There's always a little game of poker
for those who are allergic to bridge.
Hi there, stranger.
Hi.
It seems to me I know you
from some place.
Oh, yes, you're my mother.
I believe that's it.
Oh, it's so nice running
into you again.
Oh, mothers like that sort of thing.
We should see each other
more often.
Maybe have lunch
together someday.
Well, I'll consult my date book.
Oh, I know you're awfully
tied up, but, um...
Yes, but one must consider
one's mother, you know?
True. How true.
Shall I see you at the dog show?
I'll be the third Airedale
from the left.
We don't get to see each other
much these days, do we, dear?
No, we don't. I've been
seeing Randy constantly.
Me socialising
along with his mother.
Gosh, the way she gets around
makes my head dizzy.
The Brewsters, the Lindseys,
the cocktail parties
and the bridge.
It's like
playing one-night stands.
It's exciting, though,
meeting all these nice people
and feeling you can
be a part of them.
Makes you happy,
doesn't it, darling?
Yes, but I only hope
it isn't all a dream
and that someday
I'll wake up and...
Who is it?
Randy, are you still up?
Yes, Mother, come in.
I shan't stay but a few moments.
Sit down, dear.
Well, this must be
pretty important.
It is.
Well, come on. Give.
It's about Peggy.
Peggy?
It is time we discussed it.
Yes. I, uh... I was
going to tell you. I, uh...
I mean Peggy's
engagement party.
Engagement party?
Oh, the engagement party.
Yes, what did you
think I meant?
Oh, I thought that, well,
maybe you, uh... I don't know.
Well, if being in love
affects you like that,
perhaps you'd better
remain a bachelor.
Oh, now, wait a minute.
Don't get any ideas like that.
But honestly, I hadn't given
a thought to the party.
Men never do.
Well, why should I worry
about such things
when I've got a mother
like you who does?
Calm down, dear,
and listen to me.
Madam, you have
my undivided attention.
Which includes listening.
Well, we'll give the party here.
We'll get an orchestra
and some entertainment.
You know, you're
the only son I have.
Salisbury?
Oh, Salisbury.
Have the decorators arrived yet?
No, Madame.
I beg pardon, Mrs Carroll.
Mrs Windrift on the phone.
Oh, dear, and she'll talk
for an hour.
Well, here, you take this and arrange
the room according to my diagram.
And when the decorators
do arrive,
tell them I suggest the orchestra should
be placed... Well, there. In the alcove.
Yes?
Well, how do you do.
Who are you?
I'm Ripple.
You do? I mean, you are?
I'm the decorator.
Oh.
But there was to be three of you.
That's right, but there's
another man coming, sir.
That'll only make two.
Oh, no. You see, I brought
Junior along to help me.
Say hello to
the gentleman, Junior.
Well, how do you do.
Come in.
This way, please.
You see, we're
a little short of help.
You are very
short of help.
All the carpets
ought to be out.
The chairs to be placed
against the walls.
There are more
chairs coming.
The piano goes
in the alcove.
The floors
must be waxed.
Hmm. Well, I was just wondering
if it wouldn't be better to, uh...
Let's not quibble, Dribble.
Not Dribble. Ripple.
All right, we're ready.
All right, we're ready.
Well, let's go. You know what to do.
That must be
the other man.
That must be
the other man.
Hello. Is this
the Carroll residence?
Yes, come in.
Don't just stand there.
There is work to be done.
Is this where the engagement
party for Miss Martin's being held?
Yes, yes, come in.
Let's start work.
I don't think you understand.
I understand perfectly.
This way, please.
This way, please.
Here's your man, Ripple.
Oh, he's here?
Looks like I'm here.
Uncle Billy, I'm so happy
to see you.
Hello, Peggy.
How are you?
Hiya, Mae.
Hello, Billy.
Mrs Carroll, I want you
to meet Mr Mackay.
How do you do.
How do you do.
I'll have Salisbury
look after you. Salisbury.
Randy, this is Uncle Billy.
Glad to know you.
Heard a lot about you.
Heard a lot about you, too, Randy.
Yes, Madame?
Will you show Mr Mackay to his room?
He is not here yet, Madame.
Salisbury, this is Mr Mackay.
Oh.
Mr Mackay,
this way, please.
Oh, Mr and Mrs Windrift.
I want you to meet my son's
fiance, Miss Peggy Martin.
And Mrs Martin.
How do you do.
Oh, and I don't want you to miss
this trio. Come on. Let's all go in.
# When the jungle moon
Is shining bright #
# High in the sky above #
# The strangest noises fill the night #
# When Ubangis #
# Plight their love #
# When they speak of love and passion
Their lips beat in rhythmic fashion #
# All you hear is clackety clop clop
Chop chop, boogie wop, boogie bop #
# Even if they whisper, "Honey"
What comes out is loud and funny #
# All you hear is clackety clop clop
Chop chop, boogie wop, boogie bop #
# Though it's loud enough
When Johnny whispers to his Jane #
# Just imagine what it sounds like
Down in Lovers' Lane #
# All together, love's expression
Sounds like drummers In jam sessions #
# All you hear is clackety clop clop
chop chop, boogie wop, boogie bop #
# La-la-la-la!
Ba da da #
# Woolie, bop bop, woolie
Bop bop, woolie bop #
# Oh, just imagine waiting
For a sweet and tender sigh #
# Then you hear a bop bop, mop mop
What a strange reply #
# Love is deafening, no wonder
Every kiss comes out like thunder #
# All you hear is clackety clop clop
Chop chop, boogie wop, boogie bop #
# When Ubangis plot their clackety
Clop clop, chop chop, boogie wop #
# Clackety, clop clop
Chop chop, boogie wop, mop ##
Hey, Bobby, that's Peggy Martin.
Hello, Peggy.
Hello, Bobby.
How about a song?
Folks, you all know Peggy
Martin, queen of burlesque.
Let's get her
to sing a song.
Did he say "burlesque"?
That's what he said.
Burlesque queen? I am surprised.
Lmagine Randy getting
mixed up with a girl like that.
Didn't Randy tell his mother?
No.
Gee, I'm sorry, Mr Carroll.
It's Randy.
Randy, please leave us alone.
But I want to talk to Peggy.
She'll see you later.
Randy should have told
his mother. You were right.
And so was Uncle Billy.
Yes, darling. Uncle Billy
was right. Both times.
Where's Peggy?
Inside. She won't talk to me.
She'll talk to me.
Please, Randy.
It's not
Randy. It's Mrs Carroll.
Please open the door.
Well, where do you
think you're going?
Home, where we belong.
That's ridiculous.
Ridiculous? After
what's happened?
So, you want to run away
because a few narrow-minded people
object to the way you've been
earning your own living?
You'd be willing to give up the man
you love, everything, without a fight?
Just what are
you driving at?
Running away will only
make things worse.
Peggy would be bitter and
frustrated for the rest of her life.
Now, our children love each other and want
to get married. Does anything else matter?
I should have told you. I promised
Peggy and her mother I would.
But you didn't. Not that it would
have made much difference anyway.
Randy, take Peggy
and her mother downstairs.
Well, what about your friends?
I'll take care of my friends.
Hurry up, now. Hurry, Randy.
You know, Mrs Carroll,
I like the way you talk.
Thank you.
Honey, it's like
an opening night.
Just keep smiling,
and it'll keep them guessing.
Well, this is it, Billy.
Um, attention. Attention.
Quiet, everybody.
We're going right on
with the entertainment.
But first, I want you to meet Mr Mackay,
who will accompany the next number.
Boys, I'll start it,
and you kind of sneak in.
# A gal I knew
loved wedding chimes #
# So she got married many times #
# At 60, she ran out of men #
# So she married the first one
Over again #
# You're never too old
To do what you did #
# You're never too old
To feel like a kid #
# Your back may be bent
Your hair may be gray #
# But you're never too old
Till you're put away #
# Away, away #
# Where everything is exquisite #
# Away, away
Where relatives seldom visit #
# A girl I knew was young and sweet #
# And all she liked to do was eat #
# Today she does
a circus act #
# She's so round and so firm
And so fully packed #
# You're never too old
To do what you did #
# You're never too old
To feel like a kid #
# Your knees may be weak
You may have the gout #
# But you're never too old
Till they strike you out #
# Way out, way out #
# Where no one is sour or solemn #
# Way out, way out #
# Where they have
No society column #
# At 25, Marie Lamarr
Became a famous burlesque star #
# At 50, she could wave a hip #
# That would make a whole crew
Abandon a ship #
# You're never too old
To do what you did #
# You're never too old
To feel like a kid #
# You may need a cane
And wear a toupee #
# But you're never too old
Till you're put away #
# Away, away #
# Where everything is okay ##
Thank you. Thank you so much.
It's really more than I deserve
after all these years.
I suppose you're saying to yourselves,
"Well, not bad for an amateur. "
But I have a confession to make.
I'm not really
an amateur at all.
I was also a lady of the chorus.
Can you imagine?
Adele Carroll a chorus girl.
Yes, isn't it exciting?
I hope I haven't shocked you,
my friends.
Oh, no, Adele, it's wonderful.
Well, shall we have
some more dancing?
Mother, you were wonderful. I
didn't know you were on the stage.
What shows were you in?
She wasn't.
She was never
on the stage in her life.
What?
No.
That was just her idea to make
Peggy and Randy happy.
But you shocked your friends.
They can take a little shock
now and then. Do them good.
By the way, a double wedding of mother
and daughter really would shock them.
You know, "You're never too old
to do what you did. "