L (2012)

Friends, wives and children
no longer exist...
I will now grow a beard
as well as long hair...
Hunters will look for me
but never find me...
They will find their dogs dead
soon enough...
Their front teeth
drowned in blood...
I will feed myself
with men, deer, birds...
I will forget the words,
I will only holler...
In the rivers at night,
in the mountains at dawn...
My palms full
of mud, sweat, mud...
And I will fool the bears,
brown and polar alike...
- Very nice song.
- Thank you.
- Am I late?
- No, not at all.
You are an exemplary
driver and transporter.
Thank you.
The kids got you a gift.
A Mercedes key chain.
I told them not to give it to you,
but you should talk to them too.
Children, we do not give
a Mercedes key chain...
to someone who
does not own a Mercedes.
You must never forget that.
Now it's time to get into
father's car for this week's drive.
I must remind you
that should you wish...
to eat a croissant or a biscuit
during the drive...
you must be very careful...
because crumbs stick
in the weirdest places.
Why are you late?
I was delayed by some
unexpected mechanical problems.
- Are you wet?
- No, thankfully no.
The route was shorter?
Yes, undoubtedly,
about 20 kilometers less.
The road was very good,
with hardly any bumps.
Two lanes, no turns,
good surface.
Part of it was dirt road
but only for a few kilometers.
Not eating honey
makes no sense.
I don't eat apples.
But that has no effect on my life,
it's not the same thing.
I can perhaps eat
other fruit if I want to.
A melon, grapes, oranges.
I will have still eaten fruit.
Honey is different.
It is not part of a category
like fruit. It is just honey.
And for this
we must respect it.
I brought you a scent
for the car. Fruits of the forest.
Very nice.
Thank you.
Do you have time
to drive to the sea?
Unfortunately not.
I am starting a course
for the diploma next week.
I hope to be able
to buy the boat next year.
Next March will be
its maiden sail.
Did you decide
which one you will buy?
The blue one.
- Did you find a name?
- I'm not sure.
Choosing a name
needs a lot of thought.
I have thought of a few...
but I will tell you when we have
more time at our disposal.
I don't want to make a hasty
decision regarding the name.
I understand that.
That was a mistake.
Take it a bit further, to the right
because we are going to turn.
Indicator. The lever on your
right hand side is the indicator.
Push it upwards.
Now you can see
the right led light is on...
which indicates our intention
to turn right. Very nice.
Slowly we turn left...
but before we do that,
push the same lever downwards.
Now the same light indicates
our intention to turn left.
Turn the wheel
all the way to the left.
There is a pile of dirt in front
of us, we must not touch it.
Very nice.
Straighten the wheel slowly.
Very nice.
Abrupt movements
are not allowed. Very nice.
Put first gear
and very slowly...
we will accelerate
and switch to second gear.
Listen to the car! It is
enjoying the drive with you.
Turn a bit left
because there are rocks.
Natural obstacles.
A bit left. Very nice.
Now straighten the wheel.
Excellent.
Very slowly we will stop.
In harmony.
The vehicle is stopped.
Now we will do the reverse.
Before, when you were driving,
I was a bit scared, Daddy.
You were slightly off.
Happy Birthday.
- How about some music?
- Sure.
SOUNION DRIVES
I am forty years old.
I have various interests.
And even though I don't
have a lot of free time...
when I do, I try to
devote myself to my family.
I forgot to ask you.
Where do you go?
Sounion is a wonderful place.
Every summer hundreds
of summer visitors...
Sounion is a wonderful place.
Every summer hundreds of visitors
spend their holidays there.
The drive to Sounion
is my favourite...
because the view of the sea
from the road...
In my opinion, Poseidon's temple
is particularly imposing.
If you are hot, I can turn on
the air-conditioning.
It's a wonderful idea, but
unfortunately I am in a hurry.
I must return
with the finest honey.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
I would like some honey.
The best you have.
- Sure.
- Thank you.
- Nice jacket.
- Thank you.
- Is it warm enough?
- Yes, it has internal lining.
He was hit
by a car that took off.
People in cars believe
they own the road.
They listen to music.
They turn the heat on
when they are cold.
They turn the air-condition on
when they are hot.
Some even eat while they drive.
They are killers.
Invisible, usually,
behind their doors.
Even the ambulance that
is arriving any minute now...
is dangerous because it is a car.
It is an oxymoron...
that this man is waiting
for a car to save his life...
when it was a car that almost
killed him to begin with.
It is a joke.
You are wearing driving gloves...
which means you are
a professional driver...
therefore a professional killer.
You are late again.
The bikers had blocked the road.
There are no excuses. It is
the second time you are late.
I have thought of some names
for the boat.
"Water Master".
Or "Water Tiger".
Or "Aqua Master".
"Master Blue".
"Blue Tiger", "Aqua Tiger".
What do you think?
I don't know.
They all sound good.
Which one would you choose?
- I would prefer "Thunder Tiger".
- There is no "Thunder Tiger".
There is "Aqua Tiger"
and "Thunder Panther".
Would you ever buy a boat?
No.
Will you come
to mine when I buy it?
I don't think so.
- Can I come in?
- Yes.
I found a New Driver.
They say he is good.
He has a family tradition
in driving.
There is no way that he is better
than my previous colleague.
If he had not been killed by that
hunter who mistook him for a bear...
we would not be looking
for a New Driver.
He knew what he was doing
was dangerous.
We don't have
to talk about him anymore.
I want you to come
so we can test him together.
I will come.
Goodnight.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
I would like some honey,
the best you have.
- Sure.
- Thank you.
- Nice jacket.
- Thank you.
- Is it warm enough?
- Yes, it has internal lining.
Good morning. I would like
some honey, the best you have.
- Sure.
- Thank...
Good morning. I would like
some honey, the best you have...
- Sure.
- Thank you.
- Nice jacket. Is it warm enough?
- Yes, it has internal lining.
Good morning. I would like
some honey, the best you have.
- Sure.
- Thank you.
- Nice jacket.
- Thank you.
Good morning. I would like
some honey, the best you have.
- Sure.
- Thank you.
You're welcome.
- Nice jacket. Is it warm enough?
- Yes, it has internal lining.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
I would like some honey,
the best you have.
Sure.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Nice jacket.
- Thank you.
- Is it warm enough?
- Yes, it has internal lining.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
I would like some honey,
the best you have.
- Sure.
- Thank you.
Thank you...
Thank you!
You forgot to check
the quality of the honey.
- I'm sorry.
- OK.
- Nice jacket.
- Thank you.
- Is it warm enough?
- Yes, it has internal lining.
You lost. The New Driver
was quicker.
Can I come in?
Do you want a slice
of bread and honey?
You poured it on my hand!
Now it will be sticky.
You have been late twice already.
Do you know the rules?
Of course, I knew them
from the beginning.
And I am not afraid.
I am a better driver.
I will tell you a story.
Once there was
a wolf and an ant.
One day the ant...
saw the wolf killing
a rabbit and eating it.
Because the ant was friends
with the rabbit...
it swore to take revenge...
and asked for help from a giraffe,
a penguin and a parrot.
So they gathered one night...
when the wolf was asleep
in his den...
at the top of a dark, rough
mountain, and they surrounded him.
When they were about to attack him
and eat his heart out...
the wolf bit them
and killed them all.
And this is normal since
the wolf is much stronger...
than a giraffe, a penguin
and a parrot...
and of course from an ant.
I hope you get the message.
- Goodmorning.
- Goodmorning.
I would like some honey,
the best you have.
We're out of honey.
A green car got it all.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Nice jacket.
- Who is it?
- It's me.
Unfortunately I did not manage
to bring the honey first.
I'm sorry. I will continue
with the New Driver.
I'm a very good driver.
You're driving dangerously.
It's best if I drive because I have
never been in a car crash...
after all these years of driving.
I have better reflexes
and I'm very careful.
Watch out!
It's ridiculous
that you crash all the time!
Do you now admit that
I'm a better driver than you?
If you crash one more time...
you will be
the worst driver in the world.
Let's see...
Will you crash again?
Are you ok?
I'm fine.
You're late.
You know, it's hard
to walk like a bear.
Is there any honey?
Open the glove compartment
and take it yourself.
Thank you.
Have you ever eaten a man?
No. But I would like to.
Would you eat me?
No. Because you are
my best friend.
If I ever lay my hands on the
hunter who mistook you for a bear...
and killed you, I will kill him
myself. In cold blood.
He will not anticipate it.
He will not even have
the time to think...
what his last word
before he dies will be.
He may think one up, in haste.
The result will be...
that he will say a word
that is pointless or common.
Right before he dies.
Like the word warfare...
house, or gun,
or something like that.
Invisible behind their doors,
they kill and they kill.
Blood in the night,
blood in the darkness.
But me and my friends are here...
Can you hear us? Can you hear us?
And we will kill you all...
because we are fearless,
we are tough.
And the nights are no longer
black but red...
and the roads are no longer
grey but red.
From your blood,
reckless car drivers...
From your blood,
reckless car drivers!
It's me.
- Where is the car?
- Now I have a bike.
Get up and let's go to the sea.
- Won't I be cold?
- No, you are very well dressed.
- Do you know how to drive it?
- Very well. Don't worry, climb.
My feet...
See this guy?
Yes.
He is the best skipper
in the world.
His name is Dimitri but
everyone calls him Christopher...
in honor
of the great sea explorer.
I'm cold on the bike.
I'll take the bus back.
You're not wearing the right
shoes, that's why you're cold.
We wear boots on the bike
to protect the lower ends...
both from the cold
and unwanted bruises.
I'll take the bus home.
- It's me.
- Where is the car?
I don't have a car anymore.
Now I drive a motorbike.
What you did is totally immature
and you will soon regret it.
Upon arrival of the
passenger ships in the port...
motorbikes are the first vehicles
to exit the ship's garage...
and they don't have those
stickers they put on the cars...
which are hard to remove without
leaving marks on the window shield.
Children, come take
a drive with me.
Don't open the door!
Come. It's an adventure!
Good afternoon!
Your boat has
a very nice name.
Thank you!
Do you take electricity
from the pier?
Yes, from those pillars here.
Is it warm in the winter?
Warm enough. Sometimes
the problem is dampness.
Have you ever been in danger
because of bad weather?
I will tell you a story.
Ten years ago I was sailing with
my father in the Yellow Seas.
The trip had been decided
suddenly.
And my father did not have the time
to take with him the right shoes.
In the middle of the journey, the
weather took a turn for the worst.
The "Mariolina" was fighting
the waves and I was at the winch.
My father was at the wheel,
trying to keep the boat stable.
I could hear him in the storm,
shouting, "My shoes are slippery".
At some point,
he slipped and drowned.
But I was saved
because of these shoes.
The boat shoes.
Their specially adapted soles...
make them not slippery
on the boat's wet surface.
Thank you.
Let me introduce you.
This is my best friend.
People think he is a bear
but he is a man.
He was the best driver and
the worthiest colleague I ever had.
Because of his look
he could fool the bears...
and become one of their own.
When he had gained
their confidence...
he would steal their best honey
and leave.
He was killed for no reason
about a year ago.
I had a nightmare last night.
I was in the passenger seat in a car
that you were driving, Black Rider.
We were on a road trip.
It was pleasant and
we were having a good time.
This is a bad sign.
This is a bad dream.
We were on our way
to the beach.
We stopped right here
so she could lick the asphalt.
She liked licking the asphalt
that was near the sea.
When she kneeled down...
an Alpha Romeo passed by
and ripped her in two.
Her left-hand thumb and
forefinger were never found.
But this is not the worst.
If only she was alive, even
if she could no longer do this...
which means
that everything is alright...
or this, which means
that she likes something.
If you go close enough,
you will see her blood on the rock.
Let's go for a ride.
Come.
It's going to be fun!
Come on!
I've learned how to be
a very good motorbike driver.
It's absurd not to trust me!
Come. It's going to be fun!
What happened?
I fell but I am alright.
- Were you hit by a car?
- No.
And how did you fall?
I fell on my own.
I slipped.
Blackberries, wild plums...
cherries, apples, pears...
beechnuts, raspberries...
acorns, wild strawberries,
nuts and more.
Moreover bulbs and all kinds
of greens and roots.
Other than honey, I eat
small and large mammals.
Ants, insects, frogs, snails...
fish and turtles.
Do you want some?
Black Rider, my driver's license
is expiring.
I am very sorry.
Tomorrow we will find out...
if you are still able
to be a part of our group.
If your eyesight allows it.
As far as the way I would like
to die in case of failure goes...
I think I have made up my mind.
Meteor, have you decided
what your last word will be?
I don't know what I want
my last word to be.
Probably the word thumb...
because it reminds me
of my true love.
The capital of France...
is very pretty.
You never fish
in... a wild river...
A car is... coming at night.
METEOR A CAR IS COMING
RIGHT AT YOU
Monegasque.
I think you are ready.
Oh sea you are magnificent.
Oh sea you are magnificent.
What if you are sometimes
stormy and tempestuous...
wild and so scared?
The mountain
does not stand a chance.
Neither do the lakes
and the rivers.
Oh sea you are magnificent.
Oh sea you are magnificent.
What if you have drowned
so many captains?
What if you have killed
thousands of people?
Filled with little fish,
and big fish...
sharks and lobsters...
Oh sea you are magnificent.
Oh sea you are magnificent.
And if you didn't exist
there would be no beaches.
And if you didn't exist
there would be no submarines.
Oh sea you are magnificent.
Oh sea you are magnificent.
You cover most
of the Earth's surface.
And from its satellites
the planet looks all blue.
When I am near you, my blood
turns from red to blue.
And my hands they also turn
from pink to blue.
Oh sea you are magnificent.
Oh sea you are magnificent.
You give us salt, iodine, energy.
Inside you we swim.
Inside you we swim...
And if it wasn't for you
there wouldn't be starfish...
or tankers, or yachts.
Oh sea you are magnificent.
Oh sea you are magnificent.
Nor ski, nor windsurf, nor surf.
Nor waves...
Nor... nor... any shellfish.
At night you are black,
in the daytime blue...
Oh sea you are magnificent.
Oh sea you are magnificent.
Oh sea, you are magnificent.