I come tonight to warn you
that you will be visited
by three spirits.
What?
Was that the chance and hope
that you mentioned, Jacob?
it was.
You have yet
the chance and hope
of escaping my fate.
A chance and hope of
my procuring, ebenezer.
Thank you, Jacob.
expect the first
when the bell tolls 1:00.
Shut up, Beth!
I don't care
who started it, Max.
Ben kuklinski started it
and everybody knows it.
We even have the whole
thing on video.
You're gonna write an apology
to the rest of your class
for ruining the recital.
What were you thinking, Max?
That kid was twice your size.
Yeah, but Ben kuklinski is
always ragging on Christmas.
He even told the first graders
that Santa was just a cheap
marketing ploy
invented to sell Pepsi.
Coke.
You know what I mean.
But not why you care.
Well, someone's got to.
Here, let me see.
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
Ah, it's not so bad.
Just keep icing it.
And was drop-kicking him into
the manger really the best way
to handle this?
Okay, that was not my fault.
I was under the influence.
All I had to eat
was Christmas fudge
and candy canes.
Well, I hate to sound harsh,
but every kid has to learn
the truth someday.
Oh, I know. I just--
i didn't want it ruined.
For the little kids.
But is this a war on Christmas,
a war on over-political
correctness or--
looks great, mom.
Don't work too hard, though.
Sarah bought a bunch
of cookies at the store.
It's Roger.
Thought you said you weren't
working over Christmas.
I said no traveling over
Christmas. I still have
to take a few calls.
Hey, Roger, what's up?
Wait. Guys, aren't we still
gonna watch Charlie brown
and wrap Christmas presents
like always?
You know what?
After what you pulled,
you can do that alone.
And quick. Your cousins
get here any minute.
Yeah, Roger?
Ah, it's a Christmas
cluster-eff over here.
Beth, help me hang this.
Wait. Mom, aren't we
gonna watch Charlie brown?
I started, but...
I don't know what
to ask for this year.
Because they
are family, Beth.
And it's only
for a few days.
Well, I'm not sharing my room
with girls who pee standing up.
Last year I found shit
in my bed, mom.
Human shit.
For the last time,
that was their dog!
"They're why some people
shouldn't be allowed to breed!"
Your words, mom, not mine!
I never said that!
I said maybe they
should have to take a test
before they're allowed to breed.
Thanks, omi.
Omi?
Hmm?
Do you still really
believe in Santa?
What do you mean?
Yeah, my cousins are crawling
out of the shallow end
of the gene pool,
so everyone's a little on edge.
Your mom
popping Xanax again?
Like candy.
Tonight we're making a Japanese
snowflake tree or some crap.
Takes a lot of work to make
our family look more awesome
than it actually is, you know?
I like snowflakes,
but I like my plan
a lot better.
Very enticing.
But I think
I'm stuck here.
Come on.
People have escaped
from Alcatraz before,
and I'm only four blocks away.
What? What's wrong?
Everything.
Crap.
Will you two knock it off?
Howie, stop
ringing the doorbell!
Well, carry something!
Howie, cut it out!
Help me with the bags.
It's Christmas.
It's Christmas. It's Christmas.
Merry Christmas!
Hey, sis. Merry Christmas.
Oh, gosh. I'm so glad
you guys could make it.
Oh, you have no idea.
Accidents all over the freeways
and nothing but crazy talk radio
for six hours.
We brought you a little taste
of home, though, didn't we?
Oh, wow.
Thank you. It looks-- wow.
You're welcome.
Linda,
move it, move it.
We don't have to keep
the traffic jam going.
Howard, let me help you
with that.
That's, uh--
- thanks, Tommy.
- Sorry about that.
What, you give the Butler
the night off, did you?
- Tom, don't worry about it.
- Yeah, we brought Rosie.
- You don't have a cat, do you?
- It's fine. It's fine, right?
It's fine.
Merry Christmas, girls.
Come on in.
Don't you look cute
in your matching jackets.
They're just a little cranky
'cause the steelers lost,
so--
Jordan, Stevie, why don't you
tell your aunt Sarah about your
presidential fitness award, huh?
It's a good story.
Hey, Howie.
So, what did you
ask Santa for this year?
Really nice.
They did look pretty good.
- It looks bigger in here.
- Um, toy car?
Look what Max has got
in his pocket.
A letter to Santa.
Video games?
Phone?
Dialysis?
- That's a long fucking drive.
- Thank you, guys.
Where do you want
this stuff, tom? Just anywhere?
Yeah.
Christ on a stick.
Would it kill you
to shovel your walk?
I could have broken
a hip out there.
Surprise!
Please don't be mad.
Oh, aunt Dorothy.
It's so great to see you.
Yeah, well, your sister's
no mother Teresa,
but at least she swings by
every once in a while
to make sure
that I'm not dead.
So, where's the nog?
I need to get merry.
Uh, it's in the kitchen.
Help yourself.
- Oh, tom, let me take that.
- I'm sorry.
- That's okay.
- Lord almighty.
Looks like Martha Stewart
threw up in here.
We left the door open.
Sorry about that.
No, no.
We're such a mess, honestly.
Six hours, I mean, come on.
Uh, sorry.
Wasn't there another...
Hmm?
Child?
Chrissy! Darn it!
Jordan, I told you
to bring her inside.
- Not my kid.
- Come on, girls.
Tommy, help me get the baby
and the rest of the girl crap
out of the truck.
- Do you mind? Thank you.
- Let's make some memories, huh?
Whoo!
Thank you, honey.
Thank you.
Oh, my goodness.
A holiday roast is a surprise.
Hemorrhoids are a surprise.
She is a goddamn nightmare.
What were you thinking?
Come on,
she's not that bad.
Oh.
She's not! Besides,
she tricked me, okay?
I thought we were just dropping
off gifts, and she came
to the door with a suitcase.
What was I supposed to do,
tell her she has to spend
Christmas by herself?
No, but at least you
could have warned me
when one of your mistakes
is gonna become my problem.
You think everything I do
is a mistake.
Well--
sorry. Look out. Look out.
Hey, honey.
Oh. Oh!
I think this
warhead's armed.
You're so stinky.
Okay, I'm gonna go change her.
Let's go this way.
Just set that up
wherever you want, t.
Uhh! The whole truck
smells like shit. Uhh!
So, what's for dinner?
That's my boy!
That's my boy!
It sure is.
I'm getting Howie junior
into game shape.
By the time he gets to
high school, he's gonna be the
biggest lineman in the state.
Did you ever spend any time
on the field, Tommy?
No, actually, I didn't
have time in my younger years.
I was in training mostly.
What were you training for?
Uh, army? Marines?
It was the eagle scouts.
Eagle scouts.
Now, eagle scouts, kids,
that's where you weave baskets
and help little old ladies
across the street.
Am I right?
No, no.
No, no, no. It was
actually quite a bit of,
uh, survival training.
So--
well, the only survival training
i need is my old smoke pole
and a big, fat box of buckshot
that I keep out in that truck.
A Shepherd has got to
protect his flock.
Honey, we said no gun talk
at the dinner table.
This family needs
a little gun talk,
whether it's
at the dinner table
or anywhere else.
Wow. Looks like Chrissy's
really enjoying my gravlax.
Careful, kids.
Remember that your aunt Sarah
likes everything to be clean
and perfect,
and that's why she makes so much
food that you can't pronounce.
Well, I just thought you guys
might like a break from macaroni
and cheese with hot dogs.
- Yeah, okay.
- Well, you were wrong.
And who doesn't make
a ham at Christmas?
What are you now, a Jew?
Maybe it's time
for dessert, hmm?
It's delicious, honey.
It's a little dry.
Okay. Well,
mine's delicious.
Well, I guess I should
have gotten your bird.
- Just say something nice.
- I'll say it when she gets
back if dessert's good.
Well, if you could
just do me a favor.
Tell him about Santa.
Just say something
nice about dessert.
Hey.
Maxi-pad. Hear what
happened to Santa?
No, Stevie.
What happened to Santa?
Heard it on the news.
His sleigh crashed
in the rockies.
Shattered both his legs.
Frostbite took care of his pain
but not his hunger.
So, to survive,
he had to slaughter
and eat his reindeer.
Including Rudolph.
"Ate" tiny reindeer. Get it?
Knock it off!
Don't start anything.
- Hey, guys, take it easy.
They're just playing,
Tommy.
Macaroni and cheese
and hot dogs. Oh, Jesus.
So what kind of
godforsaken concoction
are you whipping up now?
You know how
this fancy food
clogs my pipes.
Well, how about
we go to your trailer
for Christmas next year, hmm?
And after you spent weeks
decorating and cooking
and cleaning,
I might just waddle in
and start bitching and moaning
about everything
you've worked so hard on.
- Oh, Sarah, you know--
- no, aunt Dorothy, please.
For your sake, just... stay
the hell out of my kitchen.
You know,
reindeer are actually
a sustainable food source
in the northern territories,
in Alaska, Canada.
This time of year,
we refer to reindeer
as a transportation system
for Santa claus.
We know you still believe
in the big, fat creeper.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
You sure about that?
Max, stop.
"Dear Santa,
I know I haven't
been great this year,
and I'm sorry for that,
but I was really hoping you
could help out me and my family
this Christmas.
We need you."
- Oh, maxi-pad,
that's so sweet.
- Give it back!
Stop, Max.
Blah, blah, blah,
bullshit, bullshit.
- Ah, here we go--
maxi's wish list.
- Stevie, stop. That's enough.
Wait, you're up first, Beth.
"I wish me and Beth could
hang out like we used to.
You might have noticed that
i don't have tons of friends."
Oh, no, really, Max?
"I wish my mom and dad
could fall in love again.
I know they get upset a lot,
with dad away from home so much.
I think they really
just miss each other."
"Also, I wish things weren't
so hard for uncle Howard
and aunt Linda.
So maybe you
can lend them a hand
the rest of the year too.
And--
and that--"
screw you.
Dad does not wish
we were boys.
Okay, who wants
crme brle?
Give me the letter!
Give it back!
Hey, Max. Hey.
Hey! Hey!
Hey!
Girls!
Hey! Hey!
Come on, Howard.
Stevie, Jordan.
Come on.
All right, all right,
that's enough.
- Are you okay? Honey?
- Enough. Enough.
I just wanted Christmas
to be like it used to be,
but forget it.
I hate Christmas!
I hate all of you!
Max. Max!
Oh, lay off of him.
Kid deserves a prize
just for telling the truth.
- Can I come in?
- - No.
You know, they're leaving
right after Christmas,
so we only have to survive
another... three days.
I don't get it.
Every year it gets worse.
Why do we have to
put up with their crap
just because we share DNA?
Because that's what
a family is, Max.
People you try
to be friends with
even though you don't have
a whole lot in common.
But why?
Because.
Well--
okay, you kind of got me there.
Or maybe it makes us work
a little harder to find what
we do have in common, you know.
Put everything aside,
think of other people
for a change.
Friends, family,
even the assholes
you normally can't stand.
Like uncle Howard?
Didn't wanna name names.
Dad, do you really
believe in all that?
I want to, Max.
But, hey,
bet there's still time to drop
that letter in the mailbox, huh?
Don't you find it
the least bit strange?
They can see
dust specks on Mars,
but no one noticed a giant
blizzard hurtling towards us.
Well, as soon
as the power's back,
you can write an angry e-mail
to the national weather service.
But in the meantime,
let's just try and stay calm.
Mom, there's something
weird outside.
I am calm.
I would just be calmer
if I knew how we were gonna
survive Christmas
with 12 people stuck in a house
with no hot water, no heat
and no electricity.
Or food.
Well, there's plenty
of leftovers, Howard.
- Beer it is.
- Phone's dead too.
- Mom!
- What, Max?
There's a snowman
in our yard.
See?
That's--
that's great, Max.
But who built it?
You can barely see
across the street, but it
doesn't look like it's just us.
I can walk over,
check with the turners.
The turners are in Hawaii.
The lamberts are in Florida,
and the cartwrights stopped
talking to us
after Max's noodle incident.
After his what?
Max, please go and get omi
out of the fireplace before
she burns the whole house down.
I'll get it!
Fine.
Seriously,
what are we gonna do?
Ooh!
Merry Christmas.
Sign here.
Yeah. Wow.
Honey, stuff to carry!
Some weather, huh?
Yeah.
It's a ghost town out there.
Roads are a nightmare.
Yeah, no kidding.
Hey, these too?
Uh, not mine.
Uh, must be from
the boys in brown.
All right.
Merry Christmas.
Yeah, you too.
Ah, what is it?
Hey, look at this, huh?
What?
They got more stuff.
How come rich people
get all the free shit?
I don't know, honey.
Democrats, probably.
Oh, my god!
Who needs
this much cheese?
One singular moment.
You guys, I've texted Derek,
like, nine times and he still
hasn't written back.
That is not normal.
It's the blizzard, honey.
Nothing's working right now.
Can I walk over
and check on him?
It's only a few blocks.
I don't think
that's a good idea.
- I could see if anyone else
has power on the way.
- She'll be fine.
Okay. One hour.
When you get back, I want
you to spend some girl time
with Jordan and Stevie.
Got it?
You call that a reversal?
Come on, jordy,
plant your feet!
Plant your feet.
All right.
Right.
You know what I mean.
Thanks.
Be careful, okay?
Okay. Back later.
Love you. One hour.
Okay.
Max, I told you
to get omi out of the--
she says hot chocolate
makes everything better.
Oh, my god.
Please!
Somebody help me!
Please!
Daddy!
Help!
Get anything?
No.
It's the weirdest thing.
There's no cars, no people,
not even a salt truck.
Don't suppose you got me
a backup generator
for Christmas, did you?
Yeah, it's under the tree
next to your ties
and underwear.
Good.
It's getting late.
Beth should be home by now.
She's fine.
She's at Derek's.
All the more reason to worry.
Hey, hon, relax.
Just for once, okay?
How's everybody else doing?
You know, cranky, bored,
sick of the snow.
And each other.
'Tis the season.
Oh, god, I miss us.
Me too.
Mom, dad.
It's already dark out
and Beth isn't back yet.
Hey, Howard.
Do you think your Hummer
could get through this mess?
Lucinda?
I could point her due east,
hit the gas
and she'd be
storming the beaches
at normandy by sunrise.
What's on your mind, t?
Well, it's-it's Beth.
She went to her boyfriend's
earlier and she hasn't
come back yet.
See? Let them out of
your sight for one second,
and boom, shotgun wedding.
Aunt Dorothy, please.
Well, you ought to know.
It's probably nothing.
But I thought we'd go
pick her up,
take a quick swing around town,
see what's going on out there.
A little recon mission, huh?
Thought you'd never ask.
- Okay.
- Go to mama.
Yep.
All righty.
Thomas. Thomas.
What? Why?
What the hell is she
so riled up about?
She says not to go.
That it's too dangerous,
and that we should wait
until the storm's over.
- Tom.
- No, I got this.
Hey, mom, we have
to go pick up Beth,
but Max and Sarah
will take care of you
while I'm gone, okay?
Mom. Hey, mom, listen.
Everything's gonna be okay.
Global warming, my ass.
Must be negative 20
out here.
This just doesn't
make any sense.
You try am?
Yeah, I tried everything.
The storm
probably knocked out
the radio stations too.
I guess so.
What I wouldn't give
for a little bing Crosby
right about now.
All right, slow down.
What is that?
Is that a snowplow?
Ahh.
Hello?
Christ.
Poor bastard must have
sailed clear through.
Looks more like
the opposite.
What do you mean?
The glass is punched in.
We got to find Beth.
You packed guns on Christmas.
Always be prepared,
boy scout.
It's kind of heavy.
Yeah. It's Linda's.
Oh, my gosh.
You had mom's angel
this whole time?
Yeah. I thought you knew.
No.
Oh.
Remember we used to fight
over who got to place her?
Yeah. You fought dirty.
I still have the scars.
Where do you think
my girls get it from?
Wow. You saved everything.
Yeah.
I figured that's what mom
would have done, you know.
Mom?
Probably just squirrels.
In this weather?
See?
- Squirrels.
- Right.
Probably playing
with their nuts.
Beth?
Derek!
Beth!
Quiet, Tommy.
I don't like this.
Whoever did this is
a demented son of a bitch.
Don't worry.
We'll find her,
buddy.
Looks like a gas line blew.
What's that?
I've hunted a lot of game
in my day.
Those are hooves.
Big ones too.
Could be an elk or a goat.
What kind of goat
walks on its hind legs?
Beth!
Beth!
Beth!
Beth!
Beth!
- Beth!
- Tommy!
Wait up!
Howard!
- Oh, my god!
- Hold on, Howard!
Help! Oh, god!
Help me!
Come on!
Tommy!
Aah!
Something--
something's biting me!
Don't let go!
- Tommy?
Let's go!
What was that thing?
I don't know,
but we have to move!
Oh, my god.
Oh.
Lucinda!
Where do you think
you're going?
To find them.
I don't like this.
What are you talking about?
Tom and Howard know what
they're doing. They're fine.
- Are they?
- Mom?
Honey, I'll be right back.
I promise.
Just lock the door--
oh, god!
- Max, get the first aid kit!
Sarah, lock the door!
Girls! Make some room
for your dad!
- Get the door!
- Shut the door!
Where's Beth?
We heard gunshots!
I'll explain everything, but
right now everybody just needs
to stay calm and stay inside!
And get away from the windows!
Swords, guns,
knives, pots, pans!
Get whatever you can--
Howard!
What?
Not here.
Jiminy Christmas.
What happened out there?
Nothing.
It's just a scratch.
- Oh, my god. It looks
like something bit you.
- Nope.
Probably a bear trap
under the snow or something.
We don't have bears here.
Okay. Um--
kids, why don't you go into
the kitchen and get something
to eat now, okay?
You just don't wanna tell us
what's going on here!
Everybody into the kitchen
right now, Max, okay? Right now.
Come on. Let's go.
Girls, come on.
- Aunt Dorothy, will you
keep an eye on them?
- Why me?
I never liked kids,
even when I was one.
Please.
Oh, all right.
All right!
Come on, guys.
I'm gonna teach you how
to make peppermint schnapps.
Mom.
Mom, will you please go
into the kitchen
and help with the kids?
Come here, baby.
See? A little sugar
and a little spice--
uh-huh--
makes everything nice.
Mmm.
All right.
But don't you rat me out.
Who or what did all this?
Your guess is as good as mine.
First I thought
it was a gang thing.
But between this
and all the crazy stuff
we saw out here,
it just doesn't add up.
It could be terrorists, right?
Yeah, terrorists.
Maybe traded their suicide vests
for rabid snow dogs?
Tommy!
Tom, god!
Sorry. Sorry.
And, um--
- Beth?
- Okay.
She wasn't at Derek's,
but that doesn't mean anything.
She may have found
somewhere safe.
- So she's still out there.
- Yes. And we will find her.
I had to make sure
you guys were safe.
I had to get Howard back--
I don't care how long it takes.
We have to keep looking.
We have to pair up
and take turns--
- yes.
- We can't go back out there!
You see this?
- It's damn near frostbite
in under four minutes!
- Honey, keep your voice down.
Besides it being
subzero out there,
someone's tearing through
your fancy-ass neighborhood
picking everybody off.
- It's the truth!
- Honey, sweetheart. Listen, why
don't we just leave? Right?
We can all pile in the truck
and we'll just see as far
as we can get,
and we can pick up Beth--
the truck's gone.
- Torn to pieces.
- Linda, Sarah:
What?
Yeah. And even if she wasn't,
the streets are totally screwed.
We can't go anywhere.
It's too dangerous. You got it?
Howard, how much ammo
do you have?
A couple shells still loaded,
maybe a dozen in my pocket. Why?
I think our best bet
is to stay put.
Board up all the doors
and windows.
And as soon
as the weather breaks,
we'll go find her.
I told you we should
have gone to my brother's.
Sure, Howard.
Christmas on a pig farm.
- Jesus was born in a barn!
- Knock it off, you guys!
What are we gonna
tell the kids?
- I don't know. The truth?
- Sure. Which version of it?
Hey, you guys.
Oh, god.
How much
did you hear?
Enough.
Mama, did someone take Beth?
Are they coming for us?
No. No, babies, no.
Everything's fine.
Beth's just with her boyfriend,
that's all.
And nothing bad's gonna happen
on Christmas, right?
You know what?
Let's have a campout, okay?
We'll watch a movie. Yeah?
Let's get cozy on the couch.
Go get your sister, Stevie.
Come on, baby.
Come on.
We'll find her,
i promise.
"And lo, the angel
of the lord came upon them.
And the glory of the lord
shone round about them.
And they were so afraid.
And the angel said unto them--
'fear not.
For behold, I bring you
tidings of great joy.'"
won't the battery die?
Got to die sometime.
Might as well enjoy it
while we can.
Hey.
Beth's a tough girl.
Takes after her mom.
I'm sure she's fine.
Thank you.
Hey, Tommy. I, um--
I just wanna say thanks
for, uh, you know,
saving my ass back there.
Oh. Well, sure.
No problem.
And I just wanna say
I'm sorry for...
Thinking you're such
a spineless dick
all these years.
Yeah.
- You should get
some sleep, pal.
- How?
Mm, good point.
Hey, dad.
Are we gonna die?
Hey. No, no.
No.
Omi's been acting different.
Ever since the storm.
Yeah, well, you know--
she always gets
a little weird
around Christmas.
How come?
I don't know. She never
wanted to talk about it.
Max, come on.
Time for bed.
It's going to be fine.
All right.
You know, Linda and I,
we butt heads, but...
I can't imagine life
without her.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
One of us should probably
stay up and keep watch.
That's a good idea.
I'll go first.
No. You go ahead and catch
some winks with your family.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
A Shepherd has got
to protect his flock.
Night, Howard.
Good night.
Whoo-hoo!
Ahh!
- Howie!
- Dad! Dad!
Hang on, Howie!
Dad! Dad!
Sarah! Hold on, Sarah!
- Mom!
- Call 911!
- Hold on!
- Max, get
the fire extinguisher!
Pull!
- Help me!
Help me! Help me!
I got you!
- Howie!
- Howie!
- No, no, no!
Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
Oh, geez.
Honey, are you okay?
Are you hurt? Hon?
What... unholy thing
was that?
Howard. Howard.
It's my fault.
No.
I fell asleep,
and they got our boy.
It's all my fault.
Nein.
- Tom, what's she saying?
"This is all
of our fault.
He's come for us all?"
He? Who--
who's he?
I-i don't know.
Mom, what are you
talking about?
Please, listen.
English. I knew it.
I must tell you something.
To all of you.
It started with the wind.
On a cold winter night,
much like this.
It was almost Christmas.
But this Christmas
was darker,
less cheerful.
But I still
believed in Santa,
in magic,
and miracles
and the hope
that we could find joy again.
But our village had given up
on miracles
and on each other.
They had forgotten
the spirit of Christmas,
the sacrifice of giving.
And my family
was no different.
I tried to help them
to believe again,
but we were no longer
the loving family I remembered.
They too had given up.
And eventually, so did I.
And for the first time,
I didn't wish for a miracle.
I wished for them to go away.
A wish I would come to regret.
And that night,
in the darkness
of a howling blizzard,
I got my wish.
I knew Saint Nicholas
was not coming this year.
Instead it was
a much darker,
more ancient spirit.
The shadow
of Saint Nicholas.
It was krampus.
And as he had
for thousands of years,
krampus came not to reward,
but to punish.
- Not to give, but to take.
He and his helpers.
I could only listen
as they dragged my family
into the underworld,
knowing that I would be next.
But krampus
didn't take me that night.
He left me as a reminder
of what happens
when hope is lost,
when belief is forgotten
and the Christmas spirit dies.
And here I thought
i was the one losing it.
Howard.
What?
You believe
this senile horseshit?
I don't know.
- Evil Santa?
- Jesus h. Almighty.
She'll be yammering
about a rabid easter bunny
come spring.
- Howard, that's enough.
You damn right
it's enough.
Whoever the hell's
messing with us
took my boy and your daughter,
and we're sitting around
listening to some
twisted bedtime story?
Screw that.
I'm getting
Howie back.
Howard!
- Daddy, don't go!
- Tommy, don't!
Don't, Tommy!
Whoa! Whoa!
I'm starting to like you.
I am.
But this is my choice.
Howard, what are you doing?
We've got four other kids
here to protect.
Howard.
Baby, please don't do this.
Listen, we can figure
something else out. Honey.
This is
how I figure things out.
Howard, you don't
wanna do this.
Howard.
Howard.
Howie!
Howie.
No, shut the door!
Inside! Shut it!
Don't open the door.
Dad?
What are we gonna do now?
We keep the fire hot.
But what if you've
been good, like, all year?
And you leave out
milk and cookies
and do everything else right?
"It's not what you do.
It's what you believe.
And what you've given up,
in here."
But can't
we make him go away?
What's she saying?
- I'm not sure.
- She says we're fucked.
Eh.
How did you--
'cause I'm old enough to know
when life is coming at you
with his pants down.
Hey.
When they took Howie,
what did you see up there?
You believe
that story, right?
Do you?
I don't know
what I believe anymore.
I know
I'm going out there
to find Beth.
I have to.
I don't even care
if I die trying.
I know. Listen.
Let's get Howard and Linda.
I have an idea.
Linda.
Can we talk with you
and Howard for a minute?
Can it wait?
I just wanna get these
rewrapped for the kids.
It's important.
The snowplow?
The keys were
in the ignition,
and it was beat to hell.
But if it runs,
i drive it back here,
then everyone piles
in the car and follows
while I clear a path
in front of us.
And go where?
The mall doubles
as an emergency shelter.
And if it's empty,
we'll try the police station.
And what
if they're gone too?
Then we keep driving
till we see lights or people,
plowed road,
somewhere safe for the kids.
And then
we bring help back here.
For Beth and Howie.
You're not thinking
of going for the plow
by yourself, are you?
Well, a Shepherd's got
to protect his flock.
I can't believe you're afraid
to come up here by yourself.
It's not my fault aunt Dorothy
clogged up the crapper.
Hey, Stevie?
Yeah.
Do you think they took Howie
'cause of the time
he painted the cats?
I don't know, Jordan.
- Do you think he's dead?
- I don't know.
Jordan?
Stevie?
Beth?
Beth, you up there?
Stevie? Jordan?
What are you doing?
Where have you been?
Everyone's freaking out.
Come up here
and I'll show you.
I've been waiting
for you guys.
Hurry.
- Have you told Max yet?
- No. Not yet.
Jordan?
Stevie!
Where are they?
Where did they go?
They were just here.
I think they went
to the bathroom.
- And you just let them go?
- Was there another option?
Jordan! Stevie!
Linda.
Jordan.
- Listen.
Honey, who is that?
Howard, stay here.
Omi.
Hmm?
I think all this
might be my fault.
- Uncle Howard?
- Shh.
Rosie.
Come here, girl.
Useless turd.
All right, wait here.
Jordan?
Stevie?
- Jordan.
- Stevie?
You guys.
What the hell
is this?
Goddamn it.
Shh, shh.
It's okay. I got you.
You're gonna be okay.
Shh.
Hey!
Oh, come on.
Hey!
Oh, my god!
Oh, my god!
Shoot it, tom! Shoot it!
For god's sake, shoot it!
Linda!
We should have gone
to my brother's.
Ya!
Where did it go?
I don't know!
Oh, my god.
- Ow!
- Bear!
- What?
Bear!
- Got to be kidding me!
- Merry Christmas, mother--
- there he is! Charge!
That's a good girl.
Wha-- Stevie? Stevie?
Hey! Give me back my kids,
you... fudger!
Jordan!
Stevie.
I'm coming, baby.
Stevie. Baby.
It's okay. Mama's here.
Mama's here. There you go.
Mom, it got Jordan.
It was gonna
eat me next.
Thanks, honey.
Are you okay?
Yeah.
Are you okay?
What?
Mom!
Max!
- Come on, baby.
- Come on, baby. It's okay.
Max, are you okay?
Yeah.
- What happened up there?
- They got Jordan.
- Who?
Mom?
I think it's panicking,
trying to get outside.
Well, we boarded
everything up.
Howard, that's Jordan.
We got to get in there.
We got to get in there
and get her out.
Linda,
what are we dealing with?
What did you see up there?
You don't wanna know,
sweetheart.
Honey, I just got
my ass kicked by a bunch
of Christmas cookies,
so trust me
when I say I can take it!
Shh.
No, no, no.
Max, what are you doing?
- Go get 'em, girl.
Get 'em, Rosie.
Rosie?
Ew!
- For god's sake, Howard,
shoot it!
- Get it off me!
- Dad! Dad! No!
Howard! You bitch!
Get it off me! God!
Dad!
Omi!
Aunt Dorothy? Finish it.
With pleasure.
Aw, shit.
Howard,
where's Chrissy?
I don't know!
- Where's the baby?
Honey,
where's your sister?
No!
No! Howard!
Howard, the baby!
I'll see you in hell.
- Twisted
fairy-tale horseshit!
- Howard, no!
Oh, great.
Are you okay?
Are you okay?
Max, get the ammo.
- Where did they go?
- I'm more worried about
when they come back.
We need to make
a break for it.
For what, tom?
The snowplow.
It's our only shot.
And then
we're going after 'em.
What is going on?
Sarah, what's going on?
Mom, come on.
We're leaving.
You're gonna be okay.
Mom! We have to go. Now!
It's him.
Come on. Okay.
Hurry, hurry.
- Get your gloves on.
Put your hood up.
Ready?
Everybody,
hold on to each other.
Omi!
Be good.
Omi!
Omi, no!
Omi!
Mom! Mom, open the door!
Mom!
Mom, you open this door now!
The window.
Dad!
She wants to face him.
She's trying to help.
Let's go. Let's go.
Let's go. Go!
Keep moving!
Go! Go!
Get behind me. Go.
Go, go, go!
Keep moving.
Come on, buddy.
Come on.
You have to go.
You have to go.
I need you to go.
No.
All of you,
you have to go.
Do you understand?
Keep driving.
Do you understand?
I love you.
I love you, buddy.
Go! Now! Go!
Go!
Come on!
Come on.
Keep going. Keep going.
God. Get in.
I want you
to get up in here.
I don't want you to move.
You stay here.
You don't move.
- Okay? You understand?
- Mom! Mom, please!
Sarah!
Baby, go with
your aunt Sarah.
Stevie, sweetheart,
it's okay.
Mom!
It's okay. Come on.
Sarah!
Stay here.
I'll be right back.
Sarah!
Mom! No!
- I love you.
- Mom! Mom!
Mom!
Max, we got to go.
Max, we got to go. Max.
Come on.
It's not starting.
It's not starting.
Why isn't it starting? Come on.
Come on, Max, please.
I'm trying.
I don't even know
how to drive a stick.
We have a hybrid!
Come on! Please!
Stevie! Stevie!
Max! Max! No! No!
Stevie!
He left me as a reminder
of what happens
when hope is lost,
when belief is forgotten
and the Christmas spirit dies.
Help! Help! Help!
Help me!
Max!
Help me!
Hey!
Asshole!
I take back my wish!
I take it all back!
Give me back my family!
Max!
Let her go!
Help me!
Please.
I know you can fix this.
Give them back.
Take me instead.
What are you doing?
I said, take me.
Take me.
What are you doing?
Take me!
No!
Stevie!
No! Let me go!
No! No! Please!
I'm sorry.
I just wanted
Christmas to be
like it used to be.
No!
You want down?
This dog
didn't keep you guys up?
She likes to bark at night.
She sure does.
Thanks for making pancakes.
About time you got up.
We've been waiting forever.
Oh, hey, there he is.
Hey, kiddo.
We thought
the sugarplum fairies
may have gotten you.
- You're all alive.
- Barely.
I haven't felt this hungover
since the pope died.
What's up, buddy?
Are you okay?
- Yeah, I just--
just had a bad dream,
i guess.
Enough with the sappy crap.
Let's open up
the damn presents.
Okay. Okay, already.
Come on, Linda.
Let's do this.
You're gonna help me?
Okay.
Merry Christmas, Max.
Girls.
I got two beverages.
- Stevie, sweetheart.
- Thanks, mom.
- Oh, ho ho ho!
- Isn't that fun?
Hey, maxi-pad.
Training
batting gloves.
What could that
possibly be?
Oh, my god!
- "Oh, my god" is right.
Oh, my--
- that's from me and the girls.
- I had to reattach the foot.
Yeah, if you look closely,
he did a really good job
of reattaching it.
Oh, thank you.
This is great.
Omi, that's beautiful.
Wow. What's this
all about?
It's nothing. Just--
merry Christmas.
Oh. Well,
merry Christmas
to you too, Max.
Merry Christmas, son.
I just wanted Christmas
to be like it used to be.
That's what
a family is, Max.
Nothing bad's gonna happen
on Christmas, right?
I just got my ass kicked
by a bunch of Christmas cookies,
so trust me
when I say I can take it!
"They're why some people
shouldn't be allowed to breed!"
Do you think
they took Howie 'cause of
the time he painted the cats?
And as he had
for thousands of years,
krampus came not to reward,
but to punish.
Not to give,
but to take.