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Knightriders (1981)
Go in a Little deeper.
It's gotta snap easy. We don't want anybody getting killed out there. Whoo! Little John! This is beautiful! Did you see that? It looks a Little heavy, Morgan. It'll knock you on your ass, Sir Knight! That's just what I'm afraid of, a hit in the head with that thing. Let me see it. It doesn't have as much force as a lance tip head on. A lance tip will snap your neck for you. That's for swinging side-arm. I don't know, Little John. It's not like a ball and chain. The chain absorbs most of the impact. This damn thing's solid. So, what the hell? Kay's got that long-handled battle-axe. Yeah, but the head's made out of rubber. This thing's got its own inertia. Did you see that? Just cos your armour'll take a bazooka shell. Don't forget some of us are wearing tinfoil. That's your problem. My problem is to knock you out of that saddle, and this baby is sure gonna help. We don't need to make it any rougher than it already is. All right, we won't use it today. We'll try it out first, OK? Unless you'd like to use it. - Ah, no thanks. - I'm not afraid of it. I'll still blow you away. - Has anyone seen Billy yet? - Not since he rode out with Lin. Geez, how can we tourney without our king to lead us? There may not be a tourney. - Alan, we got trouble with the law. - Aw, Christ. - Did he say where he was heading? - Somewhere down by the river. Aah! Oh! Lester, I think maybe we should go get a seat, OK? Oh, Helen, shut up and give me another beer. - Daddy. - Another 75 cents. - Huh? - Another 75 cents. No, no, sweetheart, I paid you for two. That's my second ear of corn. No, no, no, sweetheart, you dropped your second ear of corn. That's your third ear of corn. Another 75 cents, please. Julie, you're shaking up the beers! Daddy, you're a slob! A fat slob jerk! And, Mother, you're a wimp! Do you hear that, Helen? That's your daughter calling me a fat slob jerk! Bingo. Hey, Morgan Le Fay. - You look beautiful again today. - Mm-hm. - Come here. Come here. - Stop it. Stop. Hey, you better watch out. I'm fixing your bikes, you know. - You're fixing my bikes, you know? - Mm-hm. I'll fix your bike, you know. - Look, don't put that grease on me. - Uh-huh. No, whoa, whoa! Stop. We got trouble with the law. - What? - Go find Merlin. Oh! Oh, you jerk! Oh. Oh, my God. Oh, God. - It's all right. I'll be all right. - Are you hurt? God, I'm so sorry. I can't believe it. Ow! Damn! - Aah! - Oh, I'm so sorry! - No, no, no, I'm hurt enough already. - Oh, gee, I didn't see you. I was walking down this way and before I knew it... Right, right, right. Here. No problem. No broken bones. Anyway, it's what I do. Fall off bikes is what I do. - You'll see. You gonna be here later? - I don't know. Oh, well. Er... it gets kinda rough out there sometimes, huh? - I mean, does it get bloody? - Nah, sometimes a Little. It's never too bad when it's just a show, though. - You ever ride a bike? - Uh-uh. Well, listen, I gotta go for a Little ride. You wanna come? Come on. Come on. - OK, now just hang on to me. - Oh! Like I said, I'm gonna have to shut you down. Now just wait a minute. We have a permit. Come on, Tuck. Where the hell's the permit? I didn't sign this. You, er... sign this, Jess? Never seen it before. Guess the sheriff must have signed it. I don't see how we can let this go on, Jess. No, er... medical facilities. No doctor. - He's a doctor. - He's a what? And he's got enough equipment and supplies to handle an emergency. - You're a doctor? Medical doctor? - That's right. - Licensed to practise? - In good standing. No malpractice. Clean record. No problems. Look, so he didn't sign the permit. The sheriff did. So let's go find the sheriff! It's got nothing to do with who signed the permit and who didn't. Where the hell have you been? We have trouble with the police. Who's she? - Who are you? - Julie Dean! - What? - My name's Julie! Her name's Julie! What's the problem, magician? It's, um... same old thing, you know? We properly got a permit to use the field, and it was signed by the sheriff of Bakersfield. The deputy doesn't want to know about the sheriff. He wants his own Little pay cheque or he says he'll shut down the tournament. - Tuck, what's the gate today? - We're not paying. Aw, come on, Billy. What do you think you're gonna do? I'm gonna say no, that's all. We're not paying. It's wrong to pay this guy off. - Come on. - It's wrong, Morgan! We don't need any hassles. We're talking about serious hassles here. I don't think this guy's gonna do anything. He's not gonna shut us down. He's not gonna do shit. Come on. Come on, let's start the games. 'And he walked him! 'And that should be all for Johnson here in the eighth. ' Hello, ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to the games of the court of Sir William the King. When T H White wrote down the magical tale of Arthur and the Round Table, he called it "The Once And Future King". Once honour and nobility reigned. In the future, may they also reign. In those magical days, when honour was the true thing, a good knight's hardened steel was a symbol of that honour. You know, I don't have the balls to wear anything like that. Don't I wish! Give me a beer. In times of peace, the knights would ride tournaments, to keep their skills sharp and to practise the chivalries of battle. Don't touch, Jim. Those things can bite your fingers off. And now the King of our Little Camelot, the noble Sire William and his lovely lady Linet. - What's the new toy? - That's the mace I made for Morgan. It's got a solid hit? Yeah, it's made out of metal, not rubber. - Alan thinks it's too heavy. - Let me see it. Well, I never did know a king who was on time, did you? I didn't think we should use it until we tried it out first. Trumpets. Just do it. If Morgan needs a hand weapon, tell him it's OK to use the mace. Ah, come on, Bill, you... My lords and ladies, the ever punctual Sir William the King. Long ilve King William! Hey, what's up? Is something wrong? Oh, it's... it's nothing. And now the noble knights of our kingdom! What you will see, ladies and gents, is absolutely real. It's like drawing lots. You never know who you're gonna ride against. Now, any foul play will be ruled on by the King, the ultimate referee, and the King himself may ride in the game, should he feel an opponent worthy. Far out! That was Sir Pellinore besting Sir Ban of Boston. And a well-placed blow it was. - Your life is in my hands, sucker. - I'm gonna kick your ass. Hey, Joe! The winners fight each other until there's a champion. - Did you see that shot? - Yeah, it's all right, brother. They're like acrobats, that's all. They're like the wrestlers on TV. They got these blood bags in their mouths, you know what I mean? Oh! Ewing! You don't have a chance! It's Ewain. Keep your eye on me today. Sir Ewing beats Sir Bleoboris. All right! Sir Marhalt defeated by Sir Rocky! Better luck next time, Sir Marhalt. Far out! Next to ride against Sir Kay, Morgan, the infamous Black Knight. Yeah! In cases like this, the King, Sir William, can judge a victor or call for another pass. Now in the case of another pass, the knights may not use their lances but must turn to hand weapons. Neither man was the clear victor. Fight again, Sir Knights. Morgan had the advantage so Sir Kay will choose. Mounted or hacks, Sir Kay? Hacks. No, no, the mace. The mace. What? Billy says you can use it, if you want it. It's up to you. Yeah? Wait a minute, wait a minute. OK. In the side hacks, the knights don't use the rail. They ride in the open field and they can pass at each other for as long as it takes for one to eliminate the other or until one concedes. God, they're really revved up. Come on, Kay! Billy, you're not gonna do this. Maybe Morgan will lose. Yahoo! Billy, your shoulder. You're still not right from the last one. Er... the King, ladies and gentlemen. The King will ride against Sir Morgan, the Black Knight. All right, Sir Knight. Here. The King can elect to face any knight he deems worthy or any knight who offends his honour. Sir Morgan being a worthy knight, let's assume the former in this case. What is it? If the King goes down, we have to be ready for rescue. Why? We have to get to Morgan before he can make the King yield. If Billy surrenders, he loses the crown. Let's move it out! The King is rescued! The King is rescued! My God. Get a stretcher! Get a... get a stretcher! Punch, Whiteface, somebody! Use the power of his swing! - Watch out! - Watch it, watch it, watch it! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Use his power! - Come on! Yeah! - Hit it, Alan! Oh, wow! Ooh! Far out! You all right? Let me see. - I'm all right. - You're all right. - You almost made it, didn't you? - Yeah. Basics, Morg. You forgot your basics. No, I didn't. - Wow, this is a hell of a show! - Come on. It's a fake. It's all a fake. They try to make it look tough. They try to make it look dangerous. All right, who proved what out there? Morgan proved he could kick my ass. Steady. - What's the story, Merlin? - Could be worse. Could be better. His helmet and his chest plate just scissored him. - Took a big bite. Missed the artery. - It's nobody's fault, man. - You know what you're doing? - Hey! Why don't you all get out of here? I'm gonna stitch him up. OK, let's go. Let's get out of here. We're all in this because of the lifestyle. And we got our own place, and you did that. You set that up. And you know what it's about. And what it's about is having things we can count on. And one of the things we count on, man, is you! Hey, hey, hey! Where are you going, kid? I'd like to get Billy Davis's autograph. Well, the King is a Little busy right now. You want to try again later? Now, you've been messing up lately, but you keep putting it on the rest of us, and this whole thing's gonna blow up, and nobody needs that kind of shit, man. That's why we're here. What's his problem, Lin? Wow! You were fantastic! Fabulous! I just couldn't believe it. - Come on, we gotta finish the show. - Isn't he great? God. Wait till I tell my girlfriends about this. OK, look, everybody get out of here. We got a show to finish. Let's go. Even the best suffer defeat. Rocky is down, leaving Sir Hector of Ewick to compete with the championship with Sir Ewain against Sir Bors and Sir Alan. Is she OK? Sir Hector of Ewick competing in game one. Are you all right? - Where is she? - Rocky! Basics. You forgot your basics. You'd better disappear quick, killer, or I'm gonna get that mace and do something very very bad to your basics. - Ooh. - Ha-ha. - Oh. - Sounds like fun. Had another dream. That right? Black bird again. Same black bird. The way you get knocked around, you're bound to have some weird dreams, Billy. Come on, man. Look, man, you're supposed to believe in stuff like this. Say, man, if I didn't believe in magic, I'd still be treating gall bladders, prostates and stuff like that. See, magic ain't got nothing to do with organs and glands and busted necks. Magic got to do with the soul, man. Only the soul's got destiny. It got wings, it's can fly. That's magic. The body... the body's just got a few minutes down here in the dirt with the rest of us. - You see things before they happen. - Mm. That's probability. Some things is just sure to happen. Seeing 'em coming ain't nothing to get excited about. No, you taught me too good, magician. You taught me to believe. That black bird's gonna get me. Yeah, maybe you'll make it happen yourself. Probability, man. Some day, some cat comes along with a black bird painted on his shield. You freak out, drop your guard, and, ca-po-ze, ca-poza, ba-uu-wa, he gets you. - Maybe that's my destiny. - Big D. Ah, destiny'll mess with you. Like the real King Arthur. You know how the story go. Let's get it once more, huh? Command performance for the King. A- ooh. Once upon a time ago, ba-bo-zee, in days of old, when knights were bold, there was King Arthur. Oh, Merlin told him that his own kid would kill him, so Arthur sends all the babies in the land away on a boat, not knowing which of the many women he was always messing with might have had his kid. Boat wrecks in a storm. Destiny, big D, you see. Ah. One baby lives, Arthur's baby. Nobleman finds it along the shore, raises it to be a fighting knight. Knight comes by one day and... whew! Wastes the King, blows him away. If Arthur hadn't have tried to stop it, it might never have happened. Course, he only got the King's body. That's it. And we're coming down to it, ladies and gentlemen, the final passes that will decide the champion for today's games. Sir Alan will ride against the noble Hector. Let me get it hitched. Alan! Alan, wait! Er... who gave you that? - What? - Some guy, right? No, my father gave it to me. If that's a present from another guy, it's bad luck for you to give it to me as your champion. So, if I lose, it's on you. Whoo! All right! And so, my lords and ladies, the championship of the day will be decided in the final tilt between the gallant Sir Ewain and the noble Sir Alan. All right! All right! My hero! See? Good luck, huh? The King. My lords and ladies, the King is restored to us. Long ilve the King! The King is on his throne and in good time to honour the champion of the day. And to us, my lords and ladies, the champion of the day is truly a champion, honoured and rewarded. There is a purse for the champion, of course, but, more importantly, until the next games, he will sit in an honoured place in the King's favour. He will be absolved from certain duties and be granted privileges within our society. So, being champion of the games is no small thing to a knight. Make it three and I'll buy you a beer. - And the brave Sir Ewing... - Yeah? You're on. ...the valiant Sir Alan, they both deserve the honour well. May the better man win! Good night, sweet prince. Sir Ewing, my lords and ladies! - The champion of the day! - Ewain, Ewain! Hey, Pip! It's Ewain the invincible! Nah, I'm all right. Get the bike. It's OK. Go ahead. Hi. I could sure use one of those rubdowns tonight. What's the matter? Alan get all the townie action, huh? Oh, geez. Where's Julie? Has she come back yet? I don't know. So, how in the hell are we gonna find her? She's probably gone home. Come on, let's go. I'll kick that kid's face, calling me a fat slob jerk! And now the part I know some of you have been waiting for. This is a traditional part of our tournament. So, those of you with your own bikes... Just what the hell am I signing away here, man? Well, your... your intelligence, your good looks, and your social standing, nothing really. Here, put this on and keep it on. And if nobody's up for a direct challenge... If you don't know how to write your own name, why don't you just make an X? Don't forget to pick up the helmet. It's the thing that looks like your head, only it's got a chin strap. Billy, I... Aw, man. You all right? Yeah? I guess Little John's mace is too heavy. This is... Yeah. OK. Look, what did you do out there, man? You went under me like you wanted me to smash you or something. I mean, you wanna prove the mace is too heavy, you don't have to die to do it. Oh, Sir William? Could you sign your name on your picture? Could you make it to Billy? Billy's my name, too. - Look at that spread. - What is this? It's a magazine called "Cycle Riders". Now, see, I... I didn't know about this. Merl, I didn't know about this. Must be the piece they did in Johnstown. I mean, obviously that is you. I mean, you were there. Yeah, I was there. Yeah, right, that's me. I'm sorry, but I don't like this kind of stuff. All I want you to do is just, you know, sign your name. I can't. See, I... This is like EviI KnieveI or somebody like that. It's got nothing to do with what we're doing. Do you understand me? I can't. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Come here, my man. How about the autograph of the next king? You can be the first. Oh, wow! There, now you have something to hang on my lance. She's got plenty to hang on your lance. - I owe you, Grundy. - Hey, retaiI prices, you know. Thanks, man. Very clever, very clever. But he's a comedian. - Speaking of clowns... - Yeah, he's still here. - What do you think? - I don't know. - What now? - Let's go raise some hell! All right! Damn, he's good. Hey! I'm really impressed! But I wanted the axe back! - All you had to do was ask. - Thanks. - By the way... - Yeah? ...look out for that barn! Aah! Whoa! Whoa! Shit! That's really not bad. You looked pretty great there for a while. But you lost your guts. You gotta have guts to do what we do, baby. That's basic number one. Said the signifyin' monkey To the lion one day There's a great big elephant Down the way Going round talking, I am sorry to say About your mama In a scandalous way He's talking 'bout your mama And your grandma too He ain't got too much respect for you You wanna chat? I sure am glad Cos what he said about your mama Made me mad Signifyin' monkey Sit up in your tree You is always Iyin' and signifyin' But you better not monkey with me - Say what? - Signifyin' monkey - Hoo! - Stay up in your tree You is always Iyin' and signifyin' But you better not monkey with me... Take it, Tuck. Everybody here made a conscious adult decision to be here, to be with you. When you go crazy, you force them to rethink that decision. - You've got to... - Compromise. Change doesn't have to mean compromise. We're bigger now. Things are different. Christ, we've got an overhead! Publicity helps the overhead. They're bringing in more crowds. More sucker-headed American driftwood that can't tell the difference between me and Jim Jones or Charles Manson or the Great Wallenda. That kid... that kid thinks I'm EveI KnieveI! That kid thinks you're Billy Davis! Sir William the knight! You're his hero! I'm not trying to be a hero! I'm fighting the dragon! Always Iying and signifying But you better not monkey with me You better not monkey You is always Iyin' and signifyin' But you better not monkey with me - All right! - Nice! Fine! All right! I was never into this King Arthur crap anyway. I was into the bikes, man, the bikes. That's how I got here. He just recently found out Morgan Le Fay was a woman. That's all right. Pip's known all his life he's a woman. Are you gay, Pip? In the sense of happy, carefree, Light-hearted? And can we have this discussion later? Come on, be straight with me. Come on, Angie. When did you ever see Pip with a woman? I see him with Rocky a lot. Well, come on, Pip hangs out with me a lot. Yeah, but everybody knows you're my main squeeze. Oh, sure, with you hanging around with anything that wiggles. People probably think I'm gay. Ever since I've been a grease monkey, they've been thinking that anyway. Yeah, right. - Are you gay, Pip? - God. Great to have you around, Angie. You really know how to cut through it, don't you? Damn it! You take it every day of your life from poeple that think you're gay. Well, I'm one of your best friends and I don't know. Are you? I don't know either. I don't, OK? Well, maybe that's why you take so much heat, huh? I mean, Rocky doesn't take any heat. - Yeah, that's cos Rocky kicks ass. - No, that's not true. I don't take any heat because I know who I am, and very often I do kick ass. Down a country lane I strolled on a door, I chanced to knock Have you any pots and kettles With a rusty hole... - Did you invite company? - No, just you, I guess. Oh, man. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus, it's the swine. - I smell bacon. - That's the swine, man. Oh, whither goest, thou yonder? Come on. - Hello! - Open up! What's going on? We got reason to believe there's a controlled substance in this van. - Oh, yeah? You got a warrant? - Yeah. - Right here. - Jesus Christ. - Hey, Tuck! - Huh? What the hell's going on, Tuck? What the hell's going on? It's a raid. It's the cops from Bakersfield. But there's nothing to raid, Tuck. They're looking for something. I snuck out. I was afraid they'd find my still. I keep telling you, Tuck, wine's not illegal. Well, it's more exciting to think that it is. Come on, Julie, let's go. I better not go back there! They're probably looking for me! All right, you stay here with Tuck. I'll be back. This is unreal. This is totally unreal. Hey, didn't you take some vows or something? Oh, no. I do believe we've found a cache of elusive sponduics. The unholy weed. - It's a plant, Billy. - I know it, man. All right, let's go. As you may remember from our, er... earlier conversations, I am a reasonable man. I'm sure we can reach a... er, informal bail arrangement for your boy here. You again! I told you to pay this guy off the last time. Now I bet your price just went up, huh? And I said we're not paying. And we're not paying this rat-pile heap of dog shit a goddamn cent. You wanna take him in? Take me in, too. Oh, that's real sweet. We'll all go together. Merl, go get Steve. We ain't paying off on no frame. Bagman ain't going to no jail alone. We got a show to do in three days! - We do have to get there. - Maybe we can't make it. Oh, yeah, sure, sure. We haven't got enough problems as it is. I do think you boys ought to reconsider. Small town jails is, er... uncomfortable places. Damn uncomfortable. All them lead pipes and stuff. Bagman ain't going to no jail alone. Anything happens in that jail, there's gonna be a witness. The rest of you stay here until we get out. Now are you going to arrest me, fat man, or do I have to do something to provoke you? All right, Jack, you got it. Aw, Christ. Let's go. That man's hurt. Better not be worser when I see him again. Neither one of 'em. You hear me? Oh, that's right, you're a doctor. Damn lucky thing you're around, doc. Hit it. Wait here. This is crazy! Let's go after them, pay them, and then get the hell out of here! We're not paying! That's the way Billy wants it! Billy's insane! It's done, Morgan! There's nothing we can do about it. Oh, that's great. So, what, we save 500 bucks here and we lose 2,000 for blowing a show? That's good. We're not gonna lose anything. We're going to Lawrence. Angie, you go ahead now with Tuck and Pip. When you get to a phone, try all the motels in Lawrence and see if you can find Steve. If you can't raise him by phone, as soon as you get to town, try to find him. The rest of us, we got some packing to do. We're moving out. I need somebody to drive Bagman's truck. I want to be on the road in an hour. Let's get organised. We got to load up all the bikes. Who's gonna drive what. Bobbie, come help me with the tents. We're gonna strike them right now. - All right. - Let's go. I'll drive the truck. You better stay, see what you can do. I got some ideas. No! No! No! - You wanted a witness? Huh? - What about me? Me! You wanted a witness? Around here, they don't count for much! All you gotta do is tell me to send out for your boys with the money! That's what you gotta do! Don't hit him no more. OK? - Bagman. - What? - You OK, man? - I'm all right. Sheriff's up in Loyal Gorge, fishing, Julie. Oh, Lord. What's the problem? Oh, I could call over at the jail. Jess or somebody'd be over there. No. No, that's OK. We'll just forget about it. - Er.. how far is this Loyal... - Loyal Gorge. 60 miles. 80 maybe. What's the problem? You in some kind of trouble, Julie? No, I'm not in any kind of trouble. Er... we just needed to see the sheriff, that's all. - Sorry to bother you. - Yeah. Julie Dean! You don't just come around banging on poeple's doors at four o'clock in the morning! What the hell you doing up at four o'clock in the morning anyway? Sorry, sorry. Oh, you kids is always up to something. Good night. No damn good. I knowed you since was a tadpole. - Take your bike. You got gas, man? - Yeah, I think I got enough. - There's some all-nighters on I-79. - See you all later. Since when you messing around motorcycles, Julie Dean? You could die on them things! Them things is damnable. Damnable! Look, even if you're pissed off at me, would you please talk to me? I gotta keep awake. I'm not pissed off. I don't know what I am. I don't know what I am, remember? As you helped me realise back there in front of everybody. What about you? You're not on such solid grounds, you know. Morgan dumps on you all the time. He cheats on you every chance he gets. He's probably back there with somebody right now. God! I asked you to talk to me! I don't want to hear this shit! God damn it! You can say anything. You can say anything you want to. But nobody can say anything back to you! That was just being mean, Pip, and you know it. I was not being mean! Jesus. Sometimes you don't know where your life's going. Sometimes I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. God damn it, Ange, I do think you're screwed up. You hang around that jerk Morgan just because you think nobody else wants to schtoop a woman with grease on her face. But you don't even wipe the grease off. - Schtoop? - Schtoop. It's a perfectly good word. I think you know what it means. Well, if I wipe the grease off, will you schtoop me, my dear? No, I wouldn't. I'd rather boff boys. - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. OK. Steve! My God, that's Steve! Steve! Where the hell have you been? We've called every motel in Lawrence. I couldn't sleep. I thought I'd ride on and meet y'all in Bakersfield. All right, what the hell's wrong? Nothing's wrong! Billy's in jail! He's got a broken neck! But nothing's wrong, Steve! Y'all are a wacky bunch, all right! That's our lawyer, right? God, are we in trouble. You simple-minded pea-brain lump of cow paddy! I get to go up to Loyal Gorge once or twice a season, and you, you dim-witted numb... You better be looking out for me, man. Keep one eye on the door, wherever you are, cos some day I'm gonna ride in there and I'm gonna wipe you out. - Let's go, let's go. Come on, Billy. - You understand? - Come on, Billy! - I'm gonna wipe you out! - You fat... - Come on! All right, all right. - Come on, Billy! - I'm gonna wipe you out, man! Hey, come on! - '5-42.' - 'Go ahead. ' That's cos of me, isn't it? - Where you going? - Lawrence! - What about the others? - They went on ahead last night. Lin took 'em on ahead to Lawrence. I told her to wait. I told her, I told everybody to wait till I got back. I told 'em to set up camp and wait till I got back. Nobody goes anywhere in this outfit without my permission. That's it! That's enough! I ain't gonna listen to this, man, not after last night. You wanted the Bakersfield jail, you got it, baby. Hi. I'm Sheila Farrow, WCAP in Washington DC, and this is Judy Rawls. - Hi. - Hi. - And this is Joseph... - Bontempi. Joe Bontempi. It means good time in Italian. I'm not with Sheila here. Tried to be, but couldn't score. I got other business. You know about it? Well, I talked to Steve Lock about it. Silver Bullet Enterprises. Entertainment company out of DC. We book Vegas mostly, but we send our poeple all over the country. Now, we're all together on the insurance, right? - Yeah, man stopped by yesterday. - Steve? - Yeah, hell of a nice feller. - Yeah, he's great. - You're not a real priest, are you? - You're goddamn right. No, just kidding. No, I couldn't have any fun. You're trying to sell these kids. We don't even know who they are. - Yeah, well, that makes us even. - Oh, no. I mean, are you just hanging posters or are you actually with the group? - We're part of the group. - Good. Where can we find Billy Davis? - Billy's not here yet. - Uh-huh? Oh, Sheila! My prayers have been answered. I do a Little spotting for several magazines. I figure if I can get some great colour stills... I don't know. Anyway, that's why Judy's here. But that's not my first order of business. You see, I will be producing a piece that we're going to shoot in Brower. Now, we feel there's a good chance for the network to pick it up. Wait a minute. Are you talking about TV? Of course. - Tuck, you know about this? - No, I don't. - Hi. Louis Tucker. - Hi. Better known as Friar Tuck, God's humble servant. Also known as the, er... funky friar. Ooh! Get down, get down! Yes, well, you see, I thought I'd come ahead and kind of plug into what your Little group is all about. - But Billy Davis isn't in town yet. - Oh! Hey, Morgan, these are TV poeple. Er... not me. Uh, Joe Bontempi. Silver Bullet Incorporated. Anyway, they're looking for Billy. I guess Steve set all this up. Billy's in jail. - Are you serious? - He might not make the show. But, er... he's the star, isn't he? - We can handle it without him. - No problem. That's great. My friend and I here are gonna sell you tickets. Don't forget to say hi to the bird. They love that. You want a ticket, leave your name out here in front of the courthouse, OK? You're gonna love the show, I tell you! I'm gonna come back. I'll trade you that ice-cream cone for a ticket. How much you having? Hey, mister, get on down here! Buy a ticket! This is the greatest show on wheels. Meet me in front of the courthouse! Yeah, yeah, see that? You can't miss this ride. The concept's... Well, shoot! You sprung him. I'm missing out on all the fun this trip. How you doing, Steve? Ah. Ooh. My God. What hit you, the Pittsburgh Steelers? No. Bakersfield Cowboys. - Merl, you got any edibles on board? - Some, yeah. I'll tell you what, I didn't sleep last night, and I don't think I can turn around and make it back to Lawrence. I... I was thinking about taking some grub and finding a place to camp out around here somewhere. Wa-oh-za-bo-zee-ooh! Ow! That don't sound half bad. We haven't had any sleep ourselves. Let's look for a spot. Steve, if you guys are gonna camp out, - let me take your bike into Lawrence. - Nah. You can ride in with these guys tomorrow. Nah. You ain't taking no long ride on a bike, till that neck stitches. - Merl, I just want to get back. - Hey! You gonna cool off and take it easy, or do I have to shoot you full of something? This guy wants to handle us? What do you mean, he wants to handle us? I thought that's what you did. Yeah, I can get you into Lawrence. I can get you into Brower, even. But... but I don't know the big circuit. I'd still be with you for legal and all. The big circuit? You're gonna pull 15K out of Brower. You could pull 30 or 40 out of some of these big county fairs. Hell, Billy, I can't even get those folks on the telephone. They book acts from guys like this guy that they've been dealing with all along. We're not an act. Yeah. Well, neither's bull-roping, you know what I mean? You do three or four of these big gigs a summer, you can do whatever the hell you wanna for the rest of the year. Hell, this guy's talking about setting you up with all fancy new costumes. He's even talking about setting up some deal with some cycle manufacturer. I'm surprised you even brought this guy around, Steve. Well, damn it, Billy, I'm just trying to help you along. You guys is the most fun I get in my life. I just don't want to see you all break up. Damn it, Billy, you're all stone broke most of the time. And you take in every damn long hair that knows how to make a pair of sandals, and you wanna pick up the Blue Cross tab? Do you have the sLightest idea what gas is selling for, or two-by-fours, or hamburger, or anything else? You think it's breaking up? It's money, Billy. It's all to do with money. Money makes the world go round, even your world. No. It's just getting too tough. It's tough to ilve by the code. I mean it's real hard to ilve for something that you believe in. People try it and then they get tired of it, like they get tired of their diets, or exercise, or their marriage, or their kids, or their job, or themselves, or they get tired of their god. You can keep the money you make off this sick world, lawyer. I don't want any part of it. Anybody who wants to ilve more for themselves, he doesn't belong with us. Let him go out and buy some pimpy psychiatrist's paperback says it's OK. Don't ask me to say it's OK. It's not OK. Once I was in a jail in Alabama, and I got my ass kicked just like I did last night, only then it was because I was a nigger lover. Well, I woke up in the morning... ...and I didn't even have energy enough to lick my wounds. I found out I'd given up. So, I tried to kill myself. Tried to cut my wrist with a bed spring. Ha-ha-ha! See, I found out that I'd given up on it all because of where I was, what was all around me. Well, last night, I get my ass kicked and I came up laughing, because now I'm in Camelot. You see, the way I see it is this. You got two separate fights. The one for truth and justice and the American way of life and all that, that's gotta take a back seat to the one for staying ailve. You gotta stay alive. Man, you can have the most beautiful ideals in the whole world. But if you die, your ideals are gonna die with you. The important thing is we gotta stay together. We gotta keep this troop together. And if keeping the troop going means that we have to take some of this promoter's money, well, then I say let's take it and get some sleep. Hey, get rid of that grass before we get into camp tomorrow. I don't want that shit around. - Bagman. - Huh? Oh. Shh. Listen, I've been thinking about what you said. That stuff you said earlier? I've been thinking about it. I've been thinking about it real hard. - There's not two different fights. - What? There can't be two different fights. You've got to fight for your ideals, and if you die, your ideals don't die. The code that we're living by is the troop. The troop is our code. I can't let poeple walk on that idea. - Billy. - I can't! - What the hell's going on? - Billy's using your bike. - Where's the wine? - Here. But you get your food and your supplies. And it is right that everybody gets the same amount of spending money. All the decisions are made here. But the merchants, they're like serfs, you know. - Only the knights can make decisions. - The King makes the final decision. On the advice of the knights. We could all take in a Little more cash if we didn't spend so much on weapons. Yeah, and a lot less on parts, too. Ah, our King. - Billy Davis? - Himself. Oh, yeah, the goddamned knights have it the cushiest. My God, he's hurt. I mean we all understand they're big brave machos, but things are getting out of hand! They don't care what they smash up. We blow five bikes a week, parts cost a fortune, and those lances! Then they let the townies ride with the stuff! Hey, look, you don't like it? Get out! Do you think the poeple... do you think the poeple show up here to buy your goddamn jewellery? Your pots, your corn? Why don't you go sell them in some shopping mall somewhere? I just spent last night in jail with a man who got his head beat in for something he believed in! And if you don't believe in it, then get the hell out of here! You don't know what we were talking about. All we were saying is... What is this? What is this? A council meeting? Huh? This is a council meeting. You cannot have a council meeting without everybody being here! You cannot have a council meeting without everyone being here! Oh, go shove your goddamn council meeting! Yeah? Yeah? That's... that's a 20 dollar fine. That is a 20 dollar fine. You can pay me right now or you can get your ass right out of here. Oh, man. We're already gone, Billy. Hey, Billy, we're just trying to get some things together for you, man. Where's Merlin? Merlin's not here. I'm not here. I'm not here! Lin, you know this. You know... Where's Tuck? Where the hell is Tuck? Now this is a picture I'd like to get. My photographer caught with her pants down. I'll drink to that. Stop it! Let me help. That's too low. You got it all over you. What the hell are you doing? There's a council meeting going on out there. Who are you? Who's she? - Are you with that guy out there? - Yes. Are you with that guy in the suit out there? Huh? - Yes. - Yes? Oh! Shut the door! Ah, shit. Hi. I didn't order this! Lin, I wanna talk to you. I wouldn't take it personally, Joe. You know how talent feels about agents. Christ, he's a lunatic! Look at this! I came all the way out here to talk to him! The man does not work for me! Well, I wouldn't worry about it, Joe. This one's much better-looking. It can't be done, Lin. This... this can't be done. I took a major chance in my life to do this. I'd just gotten to the point where I'd given up on fantasies. I gave up on fantasies a long time ago. And then you show up... with this fantasy-intense dream. I wanted you, not your dream. But enough of that dream rubbed off on me. I'm vulnerable again. And now you tell me it can't be done? I could have told you that two years ago. Two years. You're still here. I'm here. I don't know if it's because of you any more, Billy, but I'm here. Hey, what's your problem? Hey! Hey, bad news. - What's wrong? - It looks really like trouble. A lot of these local guys came in all duded up. Some made their own armour. Bad. So, er... we'll see you guys in DC? Now, you're sure you can get the riders? Because I'm gonna work right now. - Bookings, costumes, publicity. - I can get the riders, right? This here is... All right, all right. You know, this is looking a lot better than I had hoped. You see, the smaller the group, the juicier the split. Just like big rock groups. You, see, a big group, nobody makes any money. I handle small groups only. There's more bread. They are happier. And if they are happy, I am happy, My brother, are you happy? What's your name again? - Marhalt. - Marhalt. No, I mean your real name. - Marhalt. - Right. Hey, Bors, who's the dude? - Some promoter from DC, man. - Excuse me. Morgan and a bunch of guys, they're leaving with him. Half the group's going, I swear. - Could you stop that for now, OK? - Right. Half the group's leaving, I swear it. - Alan, I think I'm gonna pull out. - Look, I asked you to stop that. That is professional equipment. Let go! Good. Go take some pictures of birds. Hey, she's OK. She's my friend. The beauty is really a beast. I just told her you were a nice guy. - Hey, Bors, you pulling out? - Yeah. Billy's out of commission. Everybody's cutting. We're not gonna make Brower. There's no bread. Are you going with Morgan? Nah, man. That guy's a real asshole he's going with. I don't know. I'm just gonna... I don't know, just ride out of here. The whole thing's over, man. I've made a decision. When this thing is over today I'm taking off with this guy. I mean, he's offering me the world and this is rapidly going into the toilet. And I deserve to be king so I'm forming my own kingdom. Pardon me, but you didn't win the right. You didn't win the crown. Oh, geez, come on. I beat Billy in Bakersfield. I've been beating him regularly. And I don't want his crown. That's a crown of thorns, if you know what I mean. Look, maybe I'm missing something here, you know? I mean, if this breaks... when this breaks up... You know, I'm like you, a trade school dropout. I mean, I love these bikes. These bikes make me very happy and I love what I do. Pardon me, but you also love yourself. Well, that's not so bad, either. You should try it some time. - You bastard. - See? I gotta love myself. Everybody else thinks I'm a bastard. - I need a mechanic. - No. If I'm gonna sit around and wait for you at night, I might as well be where I have my friends. I mean, at least I can get up a game of cards or something. Now, see, why do you do that? Why do you make yourself out to be such a loser all the time? I'm not the loser, Morgan. There's nobody I'm interested in right now but you. But some day there's gonna be, and that's the gamble you take every time you go away. He'll be back. They'll all be back. I give it two weeks. God damn you! How can you be so blind about everything in your life? Mor... Can't you understand? This isn't just a roadside carny any more. Not for some of us, anyway. It's a lot more than that. It's a whole lot more. If you can't get some sort of spiritual fix out of this, then... then you belong with that loudmouth hype artist. Damn it! And so, my... my lords and ladies, the noble Sir Ban will ride against the valiant Dame Rocky. - Shit! - Rocky and Ban. It's all right. Will she get through just one more? - Yeah, one more, but that's about it. - That's all she wrote. And to us, my lords and ladies, the champion of the day is truly a champion, - honoured and rewarded. - Ah! There is a purse for the champion, - but more importantly... - Jesus! ...until the next games, he will sit at an honoured place in the King's favour, for being champion of the games is no small thing to a knight. Does this mean I don't have to do dishes tonight, my liege? - Come on, let's go. - No, no, hand weapons. Your choice. - Joe. - Don't put up the rail. - Here you go. - Don't put up the rail. What the hell's going on around here? - I can't raise my arm, Merlin. - Sit right down there. Aah! - Hey, they getting too rough out there. - Shit, it's out of control. Well, er... Rocky and Ban seem to be a Little... What difference does it make? Trumpets! Are you leaving with the rest of them? No. Would you get back up there, please? OK. Thanks. I'll go in for you, if you want. You'd do that for me, wouldn't you? Sure. I won't be nearly as good as you. My God. Music! Music! Music! Music! Music! Music! Music! All right, come on, you guys. Start the music, huh? Let's go. - Music! Music! - Come on, look ailve, look ailve. Noble knights. These brave fighters. Brave fighters who... They're gonna kill each other. God damn. It's two years' worth of grudges, Morgan. It's their last shot. - They're crazy. - Yeah, they are. They're crazy. You see, that's what makes them sellable. She won! Rocky won! My lords and... Oh, my God, the bike. The bike! Jennifer! Come on, get back, get back. Oh, Jesus! Somebody get me a stretcher! Ladies and gentlemen, please! Everything is under control. Please, now... now just stay where you are. Get back! Come on! Get back! Normally, we do invite poeple from the town to compete against the knights, but obviously today we will not do that. You guys picked the wrong day to get cute. Let's go play too, huh? This is your lucky day, sweetheart. I got a lot of energy after a big fight. - Oh, I'm counting on that. - Mm-hm. - All right. - Come on, let's go, let's go. Stay out of this, Morgan. I'm gonna take care of this one myself. Go for it! Give me my lance. Thank you. If we get out of this ailve, will you be my lover? Yes! Well, we just married on radio. Oh! - I got this guy! - No, Alan. I've been waiting for this guy for a long time, man. He can't fight! He's hurt bad. Take me! Jesus, Billy! What are you doing? If you refuse to fight, then yield! Get off the field! This battle is mine! I'm not gonna fight you! What the hell's the matter with you? Holy shit! Is that real? All right, damn it! Come on! Yield. I don't want to hurt you any more. You have to yield. Oh! Are you OK? Give him some water. Here, sip. Look at me. Oh. Blood. Shit. I just need some time, Lin. I gotta get out of here for a while. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I just need to take a ride. Sheriff was by. Said that woman's gonna be all right. Well, thank the Lord for something. What's the matter, Steve? You afraid the premium was going up? Beat the blackbird, magician. Kicked his round ass square. Don't know if you beat him. Did they go? We'll just have to wait and see. Steve? If you would... could you find out, er... how long we can stay here? How much it'd cost us? - Sure. - Thanks. - How you doing, Luke? - I don't believe it! - I just don't believe it! - Sam, how you doing? - Hi, Alan. - You guys look great. - Yeah? - You look just great. Who are these guys? Well, that's Dylan and this is Morgan. Oh, wow. Another Morgan. That's all we need, man. Geez, I haven't seen you guys since I left St Vincent's. I didn't even know if you'd still be up here for sure. Oh, we're here forever. Well, we're here for a couple of days. - Think you can handle it? - Sure. Do you think we can handle that? Come on inside. Come on. - Aah! - Come on. - See you guys later. - Yeah, all right. Come on in here. Oh, nice, nice. I give you a three-five, Morgan. And he can dive, too? Give me... dope! Don't get it wet. Hey! All right! Hey! What is going on here? - What is this? - This is it! This is decadent. This is Washington DC decadence. - I love it. - All right! - Did I promise you good times? - You did! - You did so! - Well, OK! Well, OK! Say hi to Jeannie over here. That's Sheila. - That's Judy. - Hi! - That's Tuck. - Looking good. - And there's Morgan. - I'm going inside. - Well, come on in. - Yeah, in a minute. Would you fix me a drink, please? - What would you like? - Anything. Triple anything. Hey. Er... saw the armour. It looks great. It's not gonna be ready for a couple of weeks, though. It doesn't matter. I got a great suit for you for tomorrow for the photo session. That's AM, paisan. I want you awake and looking good. He always looks good. Hey, er... and everything's OK with the bikes, too. Take deilvery on Wednesday. Wait till you see 'em. Gorgeous. Custom designed. Wait till you see the Hummers, man. Morgan, before you go, what I need from you is your signature on just a few documents. Insurance forms. It's just so you don't sue us if you fall off your bike, you know? You got workman's comp there. I'll talk to you later, all right? Hey, Joe. Look at this. You see this? We had a child while you were gone. Say hi to Joe. He's the boss. Baby love Joe! Joe smooth! I gotta get rid of Tuck. Oh, Jesus. You really are a hunk. Oh, God. I wish he wasn't coming back. Er... you wish he wasn't coming back? Louis, the guy I ilve with. Ah! Now what the hell did you expect? You didn't think I could afford all this myself, did you? Need a Little attitude right here. Quiet, please. Look that way. Yeah, look up here. Look at him like he's real hot. He is real hot. Morgan, you look right in here, OK? Hey, Morgan, when's our turn, man? Now don't be greedy, now. Morgan. Morgan, please concentrate. Thank you. - What are you doing after the shot? - OK, everybody think medieval sex. How come Judy can't shoot this stuff? But Judy can shoot this stuff. There's no point in Judy shooting this stuff. This is not documentary work. What she does is documentary work, which is... This is studio work. This is... - You've done studio, haven't you? - Uh-huh. - What do you think of it? - I love my work. Well, look at it. It's porn. That's... Look, see, they're set-up shots. That's just... that's controlling the environment. That's not real life, hm? That's not real life. - There'll be work, all right? - Mm. OK. - Trust me. Trust me. - Mm-hm, I trust you. Yeah, OK. Great shot! It's a pity there's just emptiness But with sorrow there comes joy And I would rather die in a hurricane Than to never know the storm... Fears I know, I face them As my castle walls will fall Oh, but I would let Those castles tumble Or I'd never love at all... - Keep playing. - New song. It's not finished yet. I'll play it for you some day. - Do you mind if I sit down? - Please. How long are we gonna stay here? The rent's paid. It's a nice place. Till they come back. - You think they're coming back? - Yes. I don't know, man. Maybe some of them. They'll all come back. Well... I know it's important to me, like for us, to all still be here, you know? But I'm not sure about them. It's important for them, too. Those guys, the stray sheep... that's all I think about. I got nothing left to give. I take you all for granted. I don't give you anything. Man, you give us everything, man. You give us, you know, a chance. Yeah, but I don't pay you any attention. I'm sorry about that. Play your song, will you? - Yeah, it's like... it's not finished yet. - Well, finish it. Instant song. Nah, I'll play it for you some day. I promise. Good. I think that what Alan does is... is, er... hero stuff. Certainly more so than not. I think what Alan does is, er... anarchistic and rebellious, to say nothing of the violence. - What do you think hero stuff is? - I don't know. I guess, you know, like old movies Brando was a part of. Brando? Brando's anti-anti-antihero. What about Brando in "The Wild One"? That's very close to Alan's kind of thing, "The Wild One". There you have antihero as hero. I think I got you there. I'm not, er... anti-anti-antihero. I'm just, er... anti-anti-chicken. Remember that night in a restaurant in a garden, waiter comes to my table and he says, "Kid, this ain't your night. "We just ran out of fish. You'll have to eat the chicken. " Hey! Hey, come on! Can't we go and party or something? You was my brother, Charlie. You should have looked out for me a Little bit. You should have looked out for me so I wouldn't have to be stuck with a bad piece of meat. I gotta go. - I love you. Shit, what can I say? - All right. We got something to do. I coulda had class! Oh, man. I really don't understand this. I know you don't. Oh. I'm sorry. Oh! Oh... fuck. I know what you're saying, but... what? What? Hey! Oh, man. Where the hell have you been? Oh, shit, Morgan. Bad craziness. There can be only one king, Morgan. You can't just split off and start over again whenever you want. We both know that inside. There can only be one king at one time. That's the law. - Going home - Ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba - We're going home - Ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba... Billy. Hey, Billy. Alan! Hi. - Hi. - I'm back. Urn... Stop it! Billy? My king. If you'll allow me, I will fight for you in defence of the crown. These others will challenge. Shit, I can't talk like that. Morgan's agreed to fight and if you promise to sit on your ass and stay out of the way, there's still some of us that'll fight for you. - All right. - All right! Hey! Come on! Let's go! We've got a lot of work to do! How in the hell can I tell you how much it cost, huh? You cannot put a price on reputation. My reputation is at stake. Look at that! That's grand larceny! That's... that's grand theft auto! - Oh, look. Look, look. - Cycle! Grand theft cycle, man! - Which is worse! - Let's bring it down a few steps. Let's just bring it down. Now let's just talk like this. - Yeah, OK, fine, fine. - All right? Now, look. The motel they smashed up, now, they gave me a figure, and they were real happy and business-like and co-operated with me. Now, all I'm asking from you is... What are you telling me? You're telling me that the deal is off? That they don't have to honour their commitments? - Look. Look! Look, look! - They have signed contracts, man! If you want to know the future, you'd better go talk to Merlin... ...because I sure as hell can't tell who's gonna win or who's gonna lose. Alan wins, then Billy's still King. Lord knows what he's gonna do. Now, if Morgan wins, how in the hell am I supposed to know what he's gonna do? Well, I don't care who wins or loses, man! That's not my business! I am not a bookie! Can I interest you in a screwdriver? - Try some knobs. - Knobs? OK. There are only about 24. - Jesus! Are you hurt? - Forget it, forget it. Punch, Punch! Come on, sit down, sit down. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Now, look, you can figure it out better than I can. - What are you guys doing? - Getting ready for you. I need a hack driver for tomorrow. Got anybody? Sure. Somebody from my side, on my side. - We play fair. - Yeah, I know. Take green. Thanks. OK! - Whoo! Bitching, bro! - OK, guy! Say no more! - What are the boundaries? - No boundaries. Wherever it takes you. OK. Now, this is a toughie. What constitutes surrender? Surrender? You gonna surrender? Are you gonna surrender? Nobody's gonna surrender, and I don't think it's necessary for anybody to get hurt bad. So, any knight separated from his machine is out. Christ, I feel like I caused the whole thing. Hey, hey, hey. Steve, you didn't cause anything. - I caused it. - That's right. See, Billy the King turned around one day and seen how many of us was looking to him. He say, "What's all this noise? "and what's all these folks looking to me for?" They think you're trying to look bad, trying to get your ass whooped. They think you're some Little cat trying to prove you don't deserve to be king. You're saying, "In you, look past the mist, "see what you be, your own majesty, don't try to find yourself in me. "I ain't that great, no-how. Follow your own soul. " Dig it. For the crown! The crown lives forever! These are the weapons you have chosen. You may not draw weapons from the rack. Good luck. Oh, boy. God damn that bike! It's not your fault, it's not that... Come on, Joe, jump on it! Come on, you dumb stupid-ass machine! Watch it, Alan! All right, Bors! Yeah! Yeah! - You're an asshole, Ewing! Oh, yeah? It's Ewain, schmuck! Ah! Come on, let's get the... - All right! - Hey, hey, babe. Let's just keep it in the family. Basics, Morgan! You forgot your basics! Ha-ha! Basics, Rocky! Basics! Look out, look out, look out! Rescue! Hey, Ban! - Let's just keep moving, OK? - All right. Driver! Rescue driver! What is that? Some kind of new move? Improvisation. It was sheer improvisation. Come on, let's go. Come on! Get off the field! Come on! Alan! Morgan. You know those contracts? Burn 'em, baby. Oh. I love you... my master. Goodbye. Oh! Oh! Oh! Aaah! I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands, one nation under God... Indivisible with liberty and... Excuse me. All right, class. Class, please come to order. Sitting here alone in my father's home Tomorrow I'll be leaving I'll be on my own... To the hills as a child I'll go But I'd rather be a wanderer Than to never go at all... In my soul a song lies sleeping Waiting to be born I can hear weeping Deep inside I can feel her dance Go and run to me, lover Touch my innocence... I see that life is an open road There'll be poeple who stay There'll be poeple who go I know at first it pains me so To think I'm just learning how To let go... It's a pity there's just emptiness But with sorrow there comes joy And I would rather die in a hurricane Than to never know the storm Fears I know, I face them As my castle walls will fall Oh, but I would let Those castles tumble Or I'd never love at all |
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