I Used to Be Darker (2013)

1
I got candy in my cup
cup
Candy in my car, car
Candy on my wrist
wrist
Candy on my car, car
Fix me a drink?
Are you sure?
Man I feel so awkward
When I ain't got
no barre to spliff
I keep a whole sip
whole sip
A whole clip
a whole clip
In case these pussy niggaz
wanna trip
Fly high boy, boy
high fly boy, boy
'Fore I fly high
Lookin' at them jackers
in their eye, eye
I remember when a rapper
was a go-getta, go-getta
Now all these rappers is some
hoe niggaz uh
Hide behind the guards
at the show nigga uh
Don't want no pussy
homosexual on the low nigga
That's y'all, that's y'all
I from
the old school uh
Like MJG and Ball
like Devin the Dude
I know Short Dog, Dog
the real Short Dog, Dog
Who see me drapin' drips
Stepped out the whip
on Sunset Strip
Swishas and dosha
blow when we driving
Benz's and Cadi's
Swangin' big bodies
Swishas and dosha...
Did you tell him?
Taryn, stop.
Stop!
You're taking the knife?
Bill, I'm leaving
you the house,
the car, the furniture,
the swimming pool.
You get everything.
I'm just
taking my stuff.
That's right,
you are the leaver.
Write a song about it.
I know you will.
No, really.
Maybe you'll be more
productive when I'm gone.
I'm productive.
I just don't
write songs anymore.
I pay bills!
I pay for our daughter's
education.
I pay for your
health insurance.
Well, not anymore.
One new message.
Message one.
Hi, Kim.
Hi, Bill, hi, Abby.
It's Taryn, your niece
and cousin.
I'm about to board
a bus to Baltimore
and I'd love to see you.
I don't really have
another place to stay.
I'm in Ocean City,
in Maryland.
Sorry for not
calling sooner.
Some change
of plans.
Hope you're home.
Shit.
I'll try you again from the
bus station in a few hours.
Is around...
2:00 all right?
Fuck.
End of message.
Yep.
Look at you
all grown up.
Got worried you
might be on holiday.
Working too hard,
really.
Where's Kim?
On tour.
But Abby's
coming home tomorrow.
Yeah?
Yeah.
You hungry?
Yeah.
Let's go.
Need help?
No?
Got it?
Good evening.
Evening.
Do you have a reservation?
- No, afraid not.
Let me see
what I can do.
Right this way.
Thank you.
This place is fancy.
Like a funeral parlor.
Good evening.
May I offer a cocktail
or a glass of wine?
Bourbon and soda, please.
Do you have
a preference on bourbon?
You choose.
Excellent.
And for you, ma'am?
Wine?
Yeah, go for it.
Glass of red wine,
please.
And... two rib-eyes?
Yeah, medium rare,
please.
Excellent, I'll be right back
with your drinks.
I'm so hungry.
I haven't eaten
anything all day.
They don't feed you
on the boardwalk?
All we ate are chips.
Yeah, you call
them chips.
Ate my weight
in them this summer.
Deep-fried biscuits,
funnel cake.
I'm huge.
You look great.
You almost look tan.
Thank you.
Thank you.
To surprises.
So Kim's on tour?
Yeah.
Actually, no she's not.
You and Abby haven't
talked for a while, huh?
No.
I really didn't want to
be the one to
break this to you, Taryn,
but, uh...
Kim and I are in
the process of separating.
She's packing up her stuff,
as we speak.
My God.
But her new place
isn't far away.
We can call
her first thing,
and I know she's gonna
want to see you.
Can't believe it.
I had no idea.
Well, it's not something
we put in
the newsletter this year.
I'm such an idiot.
It's not your fault.
I'll be right back,
okay?
This is a nice house.
Thanks.
You've got the entire
third floor to yourself.
Good night.
Abby!
I am so fucking tired.
What the hell are
you doing here?
I missed you.
I didn't even know
you were in the States.
Nobody tells me
anything.
Sorry for not
calling sooner.
It's been a mad summer.
My dad evaporated?
It's been here
all morning.
Welcome to my
personal hell.
Thanks.
Good morning, sunshine.
Later, Papi.
Jesus, you're
a terrible driver.
Welcome to range life.
Hello?
Hey.
Taryn.
Hey, Abby.
This is my band.
This is Geoff,
this is Nick.
Good to meet you.
- Hi.
Hey, Abby.
It's so good
to see you, Taryn.
You were in Ocean City?
Yeah...
believe it or not.
How did that
happen?
Long story.
Well, I wanna
hear that one.
Abby, how were
the Hamptons?
Fine.
Did you stay with
Mitchell's family?
Yeah, they weren't around
that much, though.
Did you two talk?
Excuse me.
Who's this cat?
Oh, that's Geoff's cat,
be careful.
She's real skittish.
She looks like
a bitch.
You caught us at
a bad time, Taryn.
I shouldn't
have just shown up.
Oh, sweetie, that's not
what I meant.
You're always
welcome here.
Look at you,
all grown up.
How's your mom?
You know.
I do.
I should call her.
I've just been crazy
and...
I'm gonna get going.
Okay, see ya later.
All right, see ya.
Bye.
So let's just
go slow, okay?
All right.
This is mine.
But I love
that one.
I want it back.
Abby, I made lunch.
I'm not eating.
Well, I made tabouli.
I told you
I wasn't staying.
Taryn, just call me
when you're done.
Well, I can take
Taryn home later.
That would be awkward.
See ya.
All right, here we go,
here we go.
Hike.
Are you okay?
Hike.
Yes... get it,
get it, get it!
Don't hurt him.
Hike.
Your sister's drowned,
Laertes.
Drowned.
O, where?
There is a willow
grows aslant a brook
that shows his hoar leaves
in the glassy stream;
there with fantastic
garlands of...
various flowers
she fell in
the weeping brook.
Her clothes spread wide
and, mermaid-like, awhile,
they bore her up;
which time she chanted
snatches of old tunes,
as one incapable of her
own distress,
or like a creature native
and indued unto that element;
but long it could not be,
'til that her garments,
heavy with their drink,
pulled the poor wretch
from her melodious lay
to muddy death.
How do you even
remember that?
When he turned around
and said he needed
someone with smaller hands,
that's when I fainted.
Right there in the mud and shit,
I didn't even notice.
Because you were
busy delivering a lamb
with your small hands.
Never done that before.
You were a pro.
You were
like a cowboy.
Midwife.
Not usually
so difficult.
It was a really
young ewe.
The hard work is getting them
matched up with their mothers,
so they'll be fed, really.
It was a hell of a thing
for city folks to witness.
Your mom cried the whole
night, remember?
Worried it would die.
I cried all night, too.
So... thanks be
to you two.
Taryn, you know
any good Irish toasts?
Northern Irish.
Don't get it
twisted, Dad.
Here's to those
that wish us well,
all the rest can
go to hell.
Amen.
What do you say, Dad?
Shall we grab another bottle
from the cellar?
Okay, Minnow.
You sound like
a bunch of pirates.
Fuck you.
It's funny, whenever
we talk about that trip,
nobody ever mentions
the fight
Bill and Kim got into.
Was I around for that?
My dad stopped speaking
for two days,
you didn't notice?
Isn't he
just like that?
My mom said something
at Giant's Causeway
and he
disappeared for two hours.
That's why she was
crying all night,
not because
of the lamb.
Because my mom
was being a cunt?
Damn, "cunt"
is such a vulgar word.
My God.
Ah, yes,
junior prom.
I have to put this on
right now.
I wore that the year
Don Dills took me
to junior prom.
Don Dills.
Did I ever tell you
about Don Dills?
No.
Yeah, well, Don Dills
was four years older than me
because my boyfriend had
broke up with me
the day before,
so... yeah,
I drank two-six
of vodka to my face
and then woke up
the next morning
with a tattoo
of a devil on my ass.
What?
Yeah.
Jesus...
It wasn't real.
I'm so fat.
No, you aren't.
Pinch... a cow.
Hold it.
I can't get it.
Come on.
There.
All right.
Dance with me.
Turn it all
the way up.
As analog as it gets.
As analog as it gets.
- Pretty fucking cool.
Hello, Jack.
Voila, Papa.
Nice monkey suit.
Nice monkey face.
Is this your girlfriend?
Yep.
Jack, meet Taryn.
Our representative from
Northern Ireland.
Nice gown.
Abby looked a lot nerdier
when she wore that dress.
Did someone
invite you over?
Wine?
- I won't say no to the pope.
Get in.
I don't have
my suit on.
Unlike you, I don't
swim in all my clothes.
So take your dress off
and swim in your
underwear, stupid.
Are you really going to
date women next year?
Maybe.
Sam's gay, you know.
I think we all
knew that.
He's a flight attendant.
My parents try their
best not to know.
Helps he's never around.
Well, I imagine it's a little
easier for him in London
than Ballymena.
Unless you're into cruising
the car park opposite
the Auto Choice.
Why don't you
move to London?
Or Paris?
You have a dual passport
and Sam.
You can go anywhere.
That's such an American
thing to say.
You can go anywhere.
You're smart.
I'm not smart.
Gotta stow that shit,
sailor.
Seriously, you can do
anything you want.
I can't.
I'm stupid.
My friends are stupid.
All we do is drink
and fool around.
That's all
anybody does.
We're drinking now.
I'm fucked, Abby.
Come on,
small hands.
You're not fucked.
You're gonna
be great.
Don't wanna
fuck you anymore
Don't forgive
Do not forget
Can we try to
chat my brother?
Isn't it like
6:00 a.m. there?
He's a party boy.
He's still up
if he's around.
Sure.
See, I told you,
he's on.
Taryn?
Hang on,
the video isn't up.
Hi, Sam.
How are you, love?
- Hi, Sam.
Who's that?
Abby.
Cousin Abby.
Hold on,
where are you?
Baltimore.
What the fuck are you
doing in Baltimore?
Do Mom and Dad know?
No.
Jesus fucking Christ,
Taryn.
What's
the matter with you?
What?
You haven't told
them where you are?
No, I haven't
talked to them.
What happened to Wales?
I didn't go to
Wales, Sam.
Obviously you didn't
go to fucking Wales.
What are you doing
in Baltimore?
I was working
at the seashore.
Now I'm visiting
Bill and Abby.
What about Kim?
Don't ask.
Hmm.
Listen, I can't
believe you sometimes.
You gotta be responsible.
Jesus, why are you
yelling at me?
I just called because I missed you.
- I'm just worried.
I don't mean to be
yelling and angry,
but seriously you can't
just go over 3,000 miles
across the world and not
tell your family.
It's not on.
Can I talk to
Abby for a second?
Hi.
Hi.
God, it's been years,
you're a proper woman.
I can't believe it's
the same person.
Listen, do me a favor.
Make her call
Mom and Dad,
just to let them
know she's safe.
Please.
I'll do my best.
All right.
Have a great time
and I'll talk to you soon, Abby, okay?
- Okay.
Bye, Sam.
- Take care of yourself, bye.
Taryn.
What?
I love you, sweetheart.
I miss you
like crazy
and I want to squeeze
all the air out of you
next time I see you.
I don't
mean to be mad.
Love you too, Sam.
Call me again on this
chat thingy, will you?
We'll have a proper one.
Okay.
Be safe.
Bye.
Bye.
So, Claire and George
think you're in Wales?
Yeah.
Shit.
When's the last time
you talked to them?
Two months ago...
I don't know.
You ran away?
Yeah.
What are you gonna do?
I don't know.
Come on, I'll tuck you.
Harris Concrete,
Bill Harris.
Hi, Dad?
Yeah.
Where's the waffle iron?
I have no idea.
Maybe your
mom has it?
Am I on speakerphone?
I'm looking for it,
I can't find it.
Abby...
please don't call me at
work for these kinds of...
Hello.
- Hi, where's the waffle iron?
Hey, Abby.
Um, I have it.
Wanna make
some waffles?
I am making waffles...
or I was.
Wake up!
Get up!
What?
You have to
call your parents.
What are you talking about?
- I mean it, today.
Why are you
yelling at me?
You have to tell
them where you are!
I don't need a fucking lecture from you, Abby!
- What are you gonna do?!
You can't come to
New York with me.
What, are you gonna
live with my Dad?
Make him dinner in
a prom dress every night?
I'm not trying to
live here.
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
You're so fucking
selfish!
You made me
love you
And you made me cry
You should remember
That you were
born to die
Hey.
Hey, Bill.
Girls here?
No, I'm not sure
where they are.
Hey, buddy.
Could we maybe
get this over with?
Geoff, you wanna
grab those amps?
Nick, start taking down
the drums, please.
Just put 'em...
Baby
I don't think
about you
All the time
But when I do
It hurts me to
Think of how you
eluded me
You uprooted me
And left
me to burn
Like the scent of
a thousand
Cooking fires
In a sweet
suburban lane
You belong to me
And I knew you
And the wind took
you away
You weren't really mine
Were you even there
at all?
I was bound to call
A thousand times
Before you
Slipped into
that heaven
That I dreamed of
On my way
Heaven that
I dreamed of on my way
Is Taryn upstairs?
Yeah.
Hey.
Hi.
Bill called.
You and Abby
had a fight?
She got angry at me.
What happened?
She just came in
and started yelling.
I talked to
your mom.
She's pretty upset.
You mean angry?
Well...
I don't know
what I would do
if Abby were gone
for two months.
I'm 19.
It doesn't
just turn off, Taryn.
Taryn...
I'm pregnant.
What?
I think
I'm pregnant.
You're late?
I took a test.
Oh, honey.
You're drawing.
Anything to
exploit the pain, right?
Make me
one of those, Bill.
What?
A drink,
not a picture.
I can help you there.
Ice?
No.
Thanks.
So, where are we?
You're having an
artistic renaissance.
Did you talk to
your sister?
Yeah.
It was pretty shitty.
Claire's a bitch.
She's mad at me now.
I could see that.
They thought
Taryn was in Wales.
I don't know.
At least they know
she's not dead, right?
Did you tell her
about us?
What did she say?
I don't know.
Did you talk to
Abby?
No.
You took down
the naked lady?
Well, I hung it
over my bed.
Really?
No.
It's in the garage.
You know, I was finally able
to articulate
this for myself today.
You know what
I don't like?
What?
Shaking hands...
with men who come to take
your instruments
out of my house.
It almost feels like
I'm being slipped a 20.
Really.
Yeah, you know I think
I'd probably rather just
take a punch in the face
than to feel that
handshake again.
Well, my shit's gone.
There is no one coming
back to take it anymore.
Who is that new guy?
Nick?
Thanks for
the drink, Bill.
Stay, finish it.
No.
Maybe I should take Taryn.
- No.
Just let her lie.
Just call me when
Abby gets home.
If she wakes me up.
I gotta go.
Thanks for coming.
Good night, Bill.
Drive safe.
Fuck!
My wife here?
Yeah, let me get her.
No, don't bother.
It's no trouble,
really.
Kim.
Maybe we should
hang here a minute.
Kim?
Is this your room?
Is this where
you entertain?
This is not your house
to storm into, Bill.
You come into
my house as you please.
Well, I won't anymore.
Looks like I've got some
catching up to do here.
This is not okay.
No, not much is okay.
Abby's in New York
because she can't
stand being around you.
I come home
from work today
and Taryn is on the curb with
all of her bags packed,
waiting for the next
stranger to come pick her up.
What?
She's your sister's kid.
It's time
for you to deal.
Okay.
I'm sorry about Taryn,
I'll deal with her.
You talked to Abby, she's okay?
- How long has it been this kid?
How long have
you been fucking this kid
who you brought into
my house last week?
I am not comfortable
having you here.
I am not concerned about your
comfort level right now.
We're going to do this.
We are going to have a fight right now.
- Yeah.
It's really all we know
how to do anymore.
We're fighters.
Jesus, Bill.
If you don't leave,
I'm going to call the police.
Fuck you, Kim.
Get your bags.
Mind if I don't walk you
back up to the house?
Good.
Take care of yourself.
Thank you
for rescuing me.
If you ever need
rescuing.
I'm going to miss having
you around the house.
Made it
a lot less lonely.
Found it.
Nice.
Is that you?
Yeah, everyone
thought I was a boy.
You're too pretty
to be a boy.
What's that
you're holding?
I don't know.
A dinosaur maybe.
We went down to
the boardwalk every summer.
I know.
It's like the one thing
my mum liked about
her childhood.
Yeah, that was fun.
I looked for your house
when I was down there.
I don't think I was
in the right place.
Is that my my mum?
Yeah, did you know
your mom raced cars?
No.
She looks like
a punk.
Yeah, she was a punk.
I'm not like her.
You are
in some ways.
Having you here makes
me miss her.
Cute.
Your mom went to England
when I was in high school.
I started playing
guitar...
... and then I left pretty
soon after as well.
I would have rather
grown up with you.
Yeah, tell that
to Abby.
If she ever
talks to me again.
She'll talk to you
before she talks to me.
I want you to call
your mom tomorrow.
I'm scared.
She's going to be
so pissed off.
Trust me.
She needs to
hear your voice.
Does it suck?
Being a mother?
No.
It's hard, though,
especially when...
... the person
you'd die for
doesn't want to
talk to you.
Are we all
just fucked?
I hope not.
No, I don't think so.
Does it get
any easier?
No.
Promise me you'll call
her tomorrow, okay?
Yeah, okay.
Dad?
Hey, Minnow.
What time is it?
Late.
Are you okay?
I thought you were
staying in New York.
I changed my mind.
Anyway, I didn't
bring any clothes.
And how was
your audition?
Yeah.
Tired?
Fucking Delaware.
Taryn is at your mom's.
I'm glad you're back.
Come on, Rocky.
Come sleep with me.
Goodnight, kiddo.
Goodnight.
Thanks, everybody.
Thanks for coming.
Make sure you
take care of Jimi,
he's a national treasure.
I don't
want to lose him.
Here we go.
One, two,
one, two, three, four.
After the war
we'll settle down
Move out west
buy a house in California
Oh-oh-oh
After the war
we'll leave this goddamn town
Find a job that pays you
a whole lotta money
Raise an American child
Born under
a blanket of fear
Raised without any kind of
certainty
Searching
for anything real
Raised in a so-called
liberty
Up another
house for sale
How they gonna keep
the dogs away?
After it all
we'll figure it out
We'll start a life
there ain't
No one town better
To raise an American
Raise an American
Raise an American
Raise an American child
Thanks again,
everybody.
Thank you, good night.
I need
a fucking cupcake.
Wow.
Oh...
That's sweet.
Thanks.
Sounded good, boss.
Yeah, good job.
Good job.
Jimi, good job.
You sounded
real good, man.
I can see why Kim says you're
a national treasure.
Oh, babe, hey.
There you are.
You're a rock star.
Oh yeah,
a sweaty rock star.
Here.
No, thanks.
I thought you were
Irish.
Hey, Tom.
Hey, great show, guys.
Really great.
Thanks for having us.
It's always a pleasure
to have you, Kim.
How are you doing, do you
have enough to drink?
Never.
Never.
Well, we can get you
another round,
but let me warn you,
the next act is up
in about 20
so you're going to
have to keep it moving.
Okay?
Okay.
But thank you, really great show.
- All right.
Thanks, Tom.
Hey, Geoff, pull over,
man, I need some air.
Come on, man,
let's just keep going.
We're almost there.
I have to pee.
Seriously?
Quite seriously.
Go on.
Where are you going?
Getting away from you.
Hey, Taryn.
Jesus, Taryn.
There's probably someone
living in this thing.
But I've always wanted to
ride a tram car.
Where are you going?
Don't care.
What's going on?
I don't know.
They just got out to piss
and ran off.
I think they're
up in that bus thing.
Nick.
Taryn.
Get the fuck
back in the van!
I forgot where
we were for a minute.
Yeah.
Good morning, Geoff.
Good morning.
How are you feeling?
Okay.
There's coffee
there if you want.
I just made it.
Yeah, help yourself.
Good morning.
Morning.
Morning.
You sleep okay?
Yeah.
Cat didn't give
you a hard time,
climb up on top
of you?
That cat hates me.
It's kind of her turf
when nobody else is here.
I think we all slept
better with
Golden Boy
out on the porch.
That was a good spot
to leave him.
Golden Boy?
A little
peace and quiet.
Yeah, help yourself
to anything,
whatever's
in the fridge.
Make yourself at home.
Everybody else is.
Nothing happened.
The fact that you even have
to say that is a problem.
You're overreacting.
I can't...
Are you kidding me?
Nick, Taryn is pregnant.
Taryn is pregnant?
I am just
letting you know.
So you know what we're
going through.
So none of that
is an option for you.
There never
was an option.
You gotta go.
I've got enough to
deal with right now.
Knock-knock.
Hey.
Hey.
I found you
in the '90s.
On the Interweb.
Think I should
grow my beard back?
No.
It makes you look sad.
Monday...
Not bad, though,
the music, right?
I'm into it.
Crazy.
I'm going to
take a jog.
Want to get
some pizza later?
Golden Star?
Maybe.
I might go out.
Feel free to start my room
if you get inspired.
Break a leg.
Just kidding, don't.
You don't have to
shout, Mum.
Can you put Dad on?
It's dear, ya know.
Calling overseas and he doesn't
even want to talk to me.
Fine, just
don't shout, all right?
I have to go.
I'm hanging up.
I'm sorry.
I'll call you later.
Bye.
Hey.
How was New York?
I was just there
for the day.
Blew an audition.
My mom here?
In her studio, I think.
So, what's new?
Look, Taryn...
I'm sorry
I yelled at you.
I don't even know why
I did, I just...
I wasn't
even mad at you.
You could have
fooled me.
The summer's just been
really shitty, you know.
I'm not trying to be
their new daughter, Abby.
It's not like that
at all.
I know.
Obviously, I came at
a really bad time,
but I didn't know that.
I didn't know
where else to go.
It's all right.
I'm fucking pregnant, Abby.
- What?
I could go home.
I don't want to.
Oh, my God.
Why didn't
you tell me?
I still haven't
told my mum.
Who's the dad?
Some asshole
from the beach.
Who is he?
Are you in touch with him?
- No.
He has no idea.
Shit.
Do my parents know?
I told Kim.
What are you
going to do?
I don't know.
Fuck.
I'm so scared.
I'm so sorry.
You didn't do it.
That's a relief.
Thanks.
Days like this
Yeah you look up
at the sky above you
Days like this
Yeah you think about the ones
that love you
And all I wanna do
is live
My life honestly
I just
want to wake up
And see your face
next to me
And every regret I have
I will
go set it free
It will be good
for me
It will be good for me
Days like this
Yeah you think about the ones
that went before you
Days like this
Have you ever
seen the sky?
It's such a clear blue
And all I wanna do is
live my life honestly
I just want to wake up
And see your
face next to me
And every regret
I have
I will go set it free
And it will
be good for me
It will be good for me
Oh
And all I wanna do
is live
My life honestly
I just want to
wake up
And see your
face next to me
And every regret I have
I will go
set it free
And it will be good
for me
It will be good for me
Days like this
Yeah you think about
the ones that love you
Days like this
Have you ever
seen the sky?
It's such a clear blue