1
[Dog Barks]
[Mumbling]
[Growling]
Woman: Jay,
Breakfast Is Ready!
Be Down
In A Second, Mom!
Hey, Morning, Mom.
Morning, Sweetie.
Hey, I Had This
Tight Dream Last Night
That You Made Me
French Toast And Bacon.
You're Good.
Listen, Honey,
I Got A Call
From Aunt Lois
This Morning.
She Is In The Hospital.
What Happened?
Broke Her Ankle.
Heh! Again?
The Other Ankle.
That Woman Was Not
Meant To Ski.
Well, Is She
Gonna Be Ok?
Mmm, She'll Be Fine,
But She Just Can't
Get Around.
I'm Gonna Have To
Go Down There,
And I'll Probably
Have To Stay About A Week.
No Problem, Mom,
I Can Take Care
Of Myself,
And Don't Say
I'm Too Young.
Fine, But Just So
You're Not Lonely,
I've Spoken
With Your Brother
And He's Agreed To Come
Down From Starkwell
To Keep You Company.
Mom! Come On,
Give Me A Break!
Mike's Just Gonna
Yell At Me
And Boss Me Around
All Day.
He Hates Me.
No, He Doesn't.
He Worries About You.
It's Just How
He Shows He Cares.
Well, I'd Be
A Whole Lot Happier
If He Cared Just
A Little Bit Less.
Heh! Look, I'm Gonna
Leave You Enough Money
To Get You
Through Next Week.
There Are Frozen Dinners
In The Freezer.
Use The Money To Buy
Some Healthy Food.
Don't Just Eat Junk Food
All Week, Ok?
Ok. Just 5 Days
Out Of 7.
[Laughs]
Listen, I'm Sorry
I'm Going To Miss
The Awards Ceremony
Tonight.
It's Ok, Mom.
I Haven't Won Yet.
And Who Knows--
You Might Not Be
Missing Anything.
I May Stink
Out Loud Today.
I Doubt That,
But No Matter
What Happens...
I Am Very, Very
Proud Of You.
And I Know
Your Dad Would Be
Twice As Proud.
Mom...
You Don't Think
Dad Would've Been
Disappointed
If I Didn't Go
To Starkwell, Do You?
You Just Win
That Scholarship
To Peterson.
[Military Drums Beating]
[Man Shouting Orders]
Forward March!
Left! Left!
Left, Right, Left!
Left! Left!
Left, Right, Left!
Left, Left,
Platoon, Halt!
Right Face!
Parade Rest!
Now, Gentlemen,
You Are The Sorriest Bunch
Of Invertebrates
It Has Ever Been
My Displeasure
To Be In Command Of!
Your Bunks This Morning
Were Ridiculous!
If You Want To Be
Starkwell Men
You Have Got To Do
Better Than That!
Officer:
Sergeant Martin?
Attention!
Colonel Douglas Wants
To See You Asap.
Platoon...Dismissed!
Cadets : Starkwell!
Yes,
All Right, Sir.
You Wanted
To See Me, Sir?
Cadet Martin,
I Understand Your Squad
Is Close To Failing
The Semester.
It's Not My Fault.
The Guys
Are Just Lazy.
The Squad's
Grades Are Down
Because Of Them,
Not Me, Sir.
At Ease, Mike.
Listen, Son, You Work
Hard Around Here.
You Know Your Regulations
Forwards And Backwards,
But You Don't Know Jack
About Being A Leader.
Being A Leader Is More
Than Just Yelling
And Screaming
And Blaming Everything
On Everybody Else.
These Men Are
Like Your Brothers.
Listen, When
Your Dad Taught Here,
He Told Me Something.
He Said, "A Man
Will Follow Orders
If He Fears You,
But He'll Save Your Life
If He Loves
And Respects You."
Now, Captain Pennick
Told Me About Your
Situation At Home.
I Suggest You Take
This Time Off
And You Seriously Think
About Whether Or Not
You're Suited For A Career
In The Military,
And Believe Me, Son,
It's Not For Everyone.
[Military Drums Beating]
[Rock Music Playing]
Excuse Me. Hand It Over!
This Is A School,
Not A Video Arcade.
Why Do You Think
Your Grades Are Down?
I'm Keeping This.
You Won't Get It Back
Till Next Semester,
If You Get It
Back At All.
Hey, Who's The Lucky Kid
Van Dusen's Picking On
Today?
Nina Morris.
She's In My Little
Brother's Class.
She's Really Nice.
They Always Are.
Boy: Bombs Away!
Heh Heh Heh!
Ugh!
Uh, That Was Me.
[Sighs] Meanwhile,
The Privileged Few
Continue To Get Away
With Anything.
It's Unfair
With A Capital "U".
Oh!
Check These Out.
It's My Newest One.
[Kids Laughing]
That's Great, Jay.
Let Me See That.
Hey, Be Careful
With Those.
My Presentation
Is On The Other Side.
Morn--
[Microphone Feedback]
Morning, People.
I'm Gonna Try
And Keep It Brief
This Morning.
We Have Just 2 Items
Of Business To Attend To.
First, If Any Of You
Had The Spanish Rice
For Lunch Yesterday,
Please See Nurse Ketcham
If You're Feeling...
Different.
[Students Murmuring]
Second, All Eighth Graders
Should Report
To The Auditorium
For Fifth Period
For The Donald Peterson
Memorial Award Competition.
All The Finalists
For The Award
Will Be Called Up
Onto The Stage.
I Want To Thank You
For Your Time.
Have A Nice Day,
And, Oh,
Let's Try
And Stuff Our Brains
With Things We Don't That
Already Know, Shall We?
[Microphone Feedback]
[Bell Rings]
This Is So Cool.
Watch This!
Jay, Are You Ok?
That Tickle,
Buddy? Ha Ha!
Ronny! Enough
With The Soccer!
Get To Class!
Later, Guys.
Hurry Up And Collect
Those, Mr. Martin.
Uh-Oh, Jay.
No Problem,
Mr. Van Dusen.
Not A Very Flattering
Likeness Of Me.
Oh!
Oh, That's Not You,
Mr. Van Dusen.
Perhaps We Should Discuss
Your Artistic Endeavors
With Your Mother.
Give Me The Rest.
But, Mr. Van Dusen,
I Need Those.
My Presentation
Is On The Other Side.
At The Risk Of Sounding
Like I'm Saying,
"You Should Have Thought
Of That Before,"
Well, You Should Have
Thought Of That Before!
You'll Have To
Rewrite Them On More
Appropriate Cards.
Bad Attitude.
But I Can't
Believe This!
I'm Dead!
There's No Time
To Write Out That
Whole Presentation
Over Again.
People,
How Are We, Hmm?
We're Busy Here,
Ronny.
So, Uh...
So, Martian, I Hear
You're My Main
Competition For
The Scholarship.
That's Not
His Name,
And If You're
His Competition
I Wouldn't
Call It Very
Competitive.
Can It, Jerk.
Anyway...Hey, Hi.
Yeah, I Wanted
To Invite You
To A Little Victory
Party That I'm Throwing
After I Win The
Donald Peterson Award.
I'm Throwing
A Little Victory Bash
In My Pool House.
I'm Busy.
I Wasn't Talking
To You.
Hope To See You
There, Trace.
[Bell Rings]
Gentlemen.
Don't Worry.
You're Gonna Mop Up
The Floor With Him.
The Only Downside
Is That We Won't Get
To Go To The Party
At His Pool House.
Way To Be
Supportive.
I'm Serious!
That Pool House
Is Amazing.
It's Like He's Got
His Own Place.
He's Got
His Own Phone
With His Own Number.
It's Got
A Pool Table,
Video Games.
I Hear It Even
Has A Pool.
Teacher: Ok, Class,
Let's Get To Work.
[Electronic Game
Beeping And Zapping]
Ha Ha! Ooh!
You Wanted To Speak
To Me, Dad?
Are You Prepared
For This Presentation?
Oh, Yeah, Yeah.
I've Got The Winning
Speech Right Here.
It's Not That
Ridiculous Idea
You Had
Why Jackie Chan Would Make
A Cool President, Is It?
Uh...
Look, You,
Your Grandfather
Doesn't Think
I'm Doing A Good Job
Of Raising You.
He Also Doesn't Think
You Have A Chance
Of Winning That
Scholarship, And Frankly,
On That Account,
I Tend To Agree With Him.
We Have To Prove
Old Armand Wrong.
We Have To Win
That Scholarship.
Now Jay Martin Has
An Incredible
Presentation
On Recycling
That's Well Thought Out
And Impeccably Worded.
You Have
About 20 Minutes
To Come Up
With A Better
Presentation Than His.
I Have To Meet
With The Food
Services People.
I Have To Sweep
This Spanish Rice Thing
Under The Carpet.
[Door Closes]
Recycling, Huh?
I Don't Get It.
Peterson
Is Less Expensive
Than Starkwell.
Why Would You Have To
Go To Starkwell
If You Don't Want To?
Well, My Mom Can't
Afford Either One,
But My Dad Taught
At Starkwell,
So We Can Get In
For Practically Nothing.
The Competition's
Not For 15 Minutes.
Try And Do
Your Presentation
For Us From Memory.
I--I Don't Think I Can.
Just Try.
[Sighs] All Right.
Here Goes.
Good Afternoon.
Today I Want To Talk
To You About Garbage.
Each Year, Americans
Produce Enough Trash
And Refuse
To Fill
A Convoy Of Trucks
That Would Reach
Halfway To The Moon.
Each Year Americans
Produce Enough Trash
And Ref--Refuse...
Refuse To Fill
A Convoy Of Trucks
That Would Reach
Halfway To The Moon,
And It Is Estimated
That Within The Century
We Will Run Out
Of Landfill
To Handle Our Waste.
Man, How Am I Supposed
To Get Up There
And Give
The Exact Same Speech
Right After Ronny?
I'd Look
Like An Idiot.
Well, Why Didn't
You Say Something?
I Don't Have Any Proof.
What's The Use?
What's The Use?
You'd Be Going
To Peterson Academy
With Me Next Year.
Remember Peterson,
The One
With The Really
Great Art Program?
Or You Could
Just Settle
For The All-Boy
Military Academy
Upstate
With Your Brother.
Hey, Tough Break On That
Scholarship, Martian,
But I Guess
The Best Man Won.
How Does It Feel
To Know That You Won
Using My Presentation?
What? Yeah, Right,
You Big Liar!
Don't Be A Sore
Loser, Martian.
You'll Have Fun
At The Army Academy.
You'll Look Cute Bald.
Oh, Hope To See You
At My Party Next Week.
Don't Hold
Your Breath,
Cheater.
Van Dusen: It's
About My Wife Eliza
Van Dusen's Dog.
Woman On Cell Phone:
The Pomeranian?
Yes, Her Name
Is Camille.
Can You Hold,
Please?
Yes, I'll Hold.
Ought To Be Ashamed
Charging That Much
For A Candy Bar.
Oh, I'll Get One.
There We Go.
Yeah, Yeah.
Mr. Van Dusen?
Martin, Was It?
Make It Snappy,
I'm On Hold.
It--It's About
The Presentations.
Um, I Think
There's Been--
Woman On Cell Phone:
Mr. Van Dusen?
Don't Ever Put Me
On Hold Again!
Do You Have
Any Idea Who I Am?
I'm Sorry, Sir.
I Wanted
The Nails Trimmed
On All 4 Paws.
The Nails
On The Front Paws
Were Long Enough
To Play The Piano.
I'm Bringing Camille
Back In Tomorrow.
Am I Making Myself
Clear? Thank You!
Walk With Me.
Whatever You Do,
Don't Get Yourself
A Show Dog, Martin.
With The Amount
Of Money I Spend
On My Wife's Mutt
Every Year
I Could Probably
Send 5 Kids
To Peterson Academy.
Um, Sir--
Sorry About
That Scholarship,
By The Way.
Couldn't Be There
Myself For
The Presentation.
The Spanish Rice
Problem Spread
To The Hash Browns.
Yeah, Um,
It's--It's About
The Scholarship, Sir.
It Seems Ronny
Somehow Wound Up
With My Presentation.
I Can Certainly
Understand
How You'd Be Upset
At Not Winning
That Scholarship,
But To Accuse
Another Student
Of Cheating,
That's, Well--
I'm Sure
You're Well Aware
Of The Columbus Hall
Stance On Cheating.
They're Against It?
Very Much So.
Our School Creed,
Written By
Our Founder
Armand Columbus,
My Father-In-Law
By The Way,
Includes The Phrase,
"Steadfast In
All That Is True."
You Know That Means,
Don't You?
It's Anti-Cheating.
That's Right.
Isn't It Possible
The Two Of You
Just Came Up
With Similar Ideas?
It's Just That
Ronny's Presentation
Was Word For Word
Exactly Like Mine.
Didn't The Judges
Say Anything?
W-Well, No, Sir.
See, I Didn't Give
My Presentation
Because I Didn't Have
My Materials.
You Took Them, Remember?
That's Right,
And I Had Them
Destroyed.
So There--Ronny
Couldn't Have Taken
Your Materials.
C-Could You Maybe
Just Ask Ronny About It?
Fine, I'll Ask.
[Cell Phone Dialing]
Mrs. Pintuff?
Phone: Yes, Sir?
Call Ronny
To My Office,
Please.
P.A.:
Ronny Van Dusen...
I'll Try To Get
To The Bottom
Of This.
In The Meantime,
Let's Not Go Around
Spreading Any
Unsubstantiated
Rumors.
Ronny, In My Office.
Uh, Excuse Me.
I'm Going To Need
A Hall Pass To Get
Back To Class.
Oh, Uh, Yeah.
Uh, I've Got A Bunch
Here Somewhere.
Hmm! At Least
I Should Have
A Bunch Here Somewhere...
But You Never Know.
I Have Been Missing
A Lot Of Hall Passes
Lately.
Oh, I'm Gonna Go
Borrow One From Mr. Novak.
All Right.
Ooh! Heh Heh! I Do
That All The Time.
I'll Be Right Back.
Thanks.
Mr. Van Dusen:
Did You Steal
Jay Martin's
Presentation?
Ronny: You Told Me
To Win The Dumb Award.
This Is A New Low,
Even For You.
Did You Honestly Think
The Martin Kid
Wasn't Gonna Notice?
Well, I Thought
About It, See?
See, But I Gave
My Presentation
Before He Did,
And I Knew He Wasn't
Gonna Get Up There
And Do The Exact
Same Presentation.
Pretty Smart,
Huh? Ohh.
Where Are His Cards?
Oh, I Left Them
In My Locker.
I Didn't Use Them.
I Copied Them Over.
I Want You To Get Rid
Of Those Cards.
I Don't Want
Any Evidence
Linking A Van Dusen
To Cheating.
You Understand?
Pronto! You Must Be
Out Of Your Mind.
Can I Go Now?
One More Thing
We Need To Talk About.
These!
They Look Like
Detention Slips.
Uh-Huh.
Uh, Are They Mine?
Your Mother's
Been Complaining
To Your Grandfather
That You're
Out Of Control.
You Mess Up One More
Time, Mister,
And There's Going To Be
Dire Consequences.
Dire!
Ok, I Got You.
Let's See Your Pass.
I Don't Have One.
Morning Detention
Tomorrow.
Wait Just A Second.
Here Is His Pass.
He Must've Dropped It
Back There.
Come On.
Thanks, Ronny.
Why Did You Do That?
Please, Dorko.
Now Listen,
I Don't Need You
Ruining Detention
For Me And My Friends.
Ok? We Have
A Sweet Deal Going,
And You'll Come In
And You'll Be All...
Behavey, See,
And We Don't Need That.
It's Worth The 2 Bucks
I Could've Gotten
For The Pass.
Now Take A Hike.
Good.
Hey, Martian.
Watch It, Road Hog!
Ha Ha Ha!
Nice Wheels, Buddy!
[Telephone Rings]
[Ringing]
Mrs. Martin, Recording:
Hi, You've Reached
The Martin Residence.
Please Leave A Message
After The Tone,
And We'll Get Back To You
As Soon As We Can.
Thank You.
[Beep]
Mike: Hey, Little
Brother, It's Me.
If You're Home,
Pick Up The Phone,
Please.
Come On, Pick It Up,
Pick Up.
Jay, I Know You're
Sitting There
Listening To This.
All Right,
Look, Uh, I'm
Not Gonna Be Able
To Get Home
Tonight, Ok?
My Jeep Broke Down,
And The Guy
Won't Be Able
To Get The Part
Until Tomorrow.
So, I Want You
To Call Up
The Zachareys
And Ask Them
If You Can Stay
At Their Place
Tonight, Ok?
Uh, My New Eta
Will Be
1600 Hours Tomorrow.
And, Jay,
No Screw-Ups!
[Dial Tone]
If You Told
Mr. Van Dusen,
Then He'll Have To
Investigate It.
There's
An Honor Code
At Columbus.
"Steadfast In All
That Is True."
I Told You,
Van Dusen Already Knows,
And He's Not Gonna Do
Anything About It,
And I'm Gonna Wind Up
At Starkwell Next Year.
They're Gonna Shave My Head
And Make Me Wear Boots.
Do You Want
To Pet Clancy?
I've Heard
That Petting A Dog
Can Relieve Stress.
[Growling]
I Don't Think So.
Dogs Hate Me.
Clancy Likes You.
He Told You
That, Did He?
In A Way.
Dogs Have
A Whole Lot Of Ways
Of Communicating.
Fine, Fine, Fine.
Have Clancy
Send Me An E-Mail.
Look, Look, I'm Sorry.
It's Just I'm So Upset.
My Life Is So Unfair.
So Do Something.
Don't Just
Sit Around
And Mope About It.
There Has To Be
A Way You Can Prove
That Ronny Stole
Your Presentation,
And If You Have
Some Proof,
Then You Can
Go To The Teachers
Who Were Judges.
Ha Ha!
I Just Thought Of A Plan.
I Gotta Go.
Ew! Whoa, Whoa, Hey!
Jay, Are You
All Right?
Yeah.
Come On, We're Late!
They're Not Gonna
Start Without Us.
You're The Headmaster
And Ronny...
Ronny Is The Peterson
Scholarship Winner,
And I Couldn't
Be Prouder.
Hello! Hug The Kid
In The Car If You
Have To Hug Him.
I'd Like To Get There
Sometime Tonight.
[Whining]
[Growling]
[Barking]
[Camille Barking Wildly]
N-N-Nice, Doggie.
Shh! Shh!
Nice Doggie!
No, No, No! Shh!
Want A--
How About A Nice
Gummy Candy?
Come On, Ronny,
I Know You Got
My Presentation
Here Somewhere.
Camille!
[Whistling]
Come On!
Camille!
Camille!
Camille!
Camille?
Camille!
Is Someone There?
Ohh! Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
[Snarling]
No, No, No!
Bad Dog! Go Home!
[Whining]
Go!
[Barking]
Go! Shoo! Go!
Go! Shoo!
No, Camille, Go Home!
[Growling]
Get, Get, Get!
Go Home! Get! Go Away!
Come On, Man,
Leave Me Alone!
Ugh!
Good! Now Go Home!
[Horns Honking]
[Brakes Squealing]
Camille, Come On!
Keep That Stupid Dog
On A Leash!
[Camille Snarls]
Ok?
Ugh! Come On! Gross!
I'm Gonna Barf!
You're Welcome.
Man, This Is Just Great.
For A Dog They Spend
So Much Money On,
They Sure Don't
Watch Out For Her
Very Well.
All Right, Come On
To My Place.
We'll Call Your Owners
When We Get There.
[Yipping]
We're Gonna
Have To Wait
Until After
The Van Dusens
Get Home
From The Ceremony
To Call Them.
So, Um, Just Behave
And...
Don't Bother Me.
[Ruff]
Get Down.
Stay...Stay Down.
Would You Get Down? Dang.
[Sighs]
We Put Enough Lead
In That Thing To Sink It.
No Wonder It Stopped.
It Sure Did.
Do You Soldiers
Hear That?
I'm Talking To You,
Boy!
Why Don't You
Get Down Right Now,
And Give Me 50!
That's What I Said--
[Machine Gun Fire]
[Grrr]
Marines: 1...2...3...
[Barking]
What? What Do You Want?
[Grrr]
I Don't Know
What That Means.
[Ruff Ruff]
Are You Hungry?
[Ruff]
Fine. Fine.
Let's See What's
In The Fridge.
[Grrr]
[Sighs]
What Do Dogs Eat? Hmm...
Here We Go.
You Like Pasta?
There You Go.
Here, You Want Some Meatloaf?
[Groans]
Uh-Oh.
Hey, Are You Ok?
[Groans]
Hey, Man, Maybe You
Should've Stopped Eating
After That Tofu Egg Salad.
[Burp]
Did You Kidnap
The Van Dusen's Dog?
Is That Your Plan?
I Didn't Kidnap It.
It Just Followed
Me Home When I Was
At Their House
Looking
For Evidence.
Hey, I'm Gonna Call
The Van Dusens
To Come Get It After
The Awards Ceremony.
Well, How Are You Going
To Explain Being
At Their Place?
Did Anybody See You?
Well, Their Maid Saw Me.
But I Put On A Mask
Before She Could Know
Who I Was.
Jay, You're In Trouble.
The Maid Saw Somebody
Sneaking Around,
And Their Prize Show Dog
Is Missing.
You're Gonna Call,
And Van Dusen Is Gonna Know
You Were There.
You Think?
Listen...
Just Bring The Dog Back
To Van Dusen's House
And Leave Her.
[Sigh]
[Dog Growling]
Go In There. Go.
Go In There. Stay.
No!
[Growl]
This Is Where
You Live.
[Whimper]
Now, Stay In There.
Go, Ok, Go.
Stay In There!
Oh, Oh, Man! Go Home!
Come On.
You Are Not
Coming Home With Me.
Ok?
[Ruff]
Stop Following Me, Man.
Go Home!
[Ruff Ruff]
No, No! You Are Not
Coming Home With Me.
[Thinking]
Man, Peterson Is Tight.
[Thinking] Forget It.
You're Going To Starkwell.
Camille! C'mere, Camille!
Dad?
Put It Anywhere
You Want.
Ok.
Ronny, Come On!
Not On The Floor!
Camille?
Camille.
C'mere, Camille.
Welcome To Espn's Highlights
Of Today's Masters Action.
Reporting
From The Clubhouse...
Ward, I Can't
Find Camille.
She Must Be
Around Here Somewhere.
I've Looked
Everywhere.
Everywhere, Eliza?
That Seems Improbable.
Come Help Me
Look!
[Tv Turns Off]
[Screaming]
Ah! Ah! Ah!
Get Out Of Here!
Adele, It's Me!
What Are You Doing?!
Adele, What In The World
Do You Think You're Doing?!
You Nearly Spatula-Ed Me
To Death!
Oh! Mr. Van Dusen!
Yeah!
I Am So Sorry.
I Tried
To Stop Them,
But There Were
Too Many Of Them.
Too Many Of Who?
They Were
In The Pool House.
I--
The Pool House.
Ronny?!
Yeah, Dad?
Is Everything All Right
In The Pool House?
Yeah, It's Fine.
Just Stay Out.
Tv: And Now For That
Incredible Hole In One...
Ward, I'm Worried.
Adele Said The Yard
Was Swarming
With Huge Masked
Men.
Seems Fine Now.
Ronny Said
The Pool House Is Ok.
Probably Just
Some Neighborhood Kids.
Did You Notice
Anything Missing?
Yes, Camille!
What If They Took Her?
She's A Valuable
Show Dog.
They Must Know
How Much She's Worth.
She's Fine.
The Regional
Dog Show Trials
Are Only A Week Away.
She Has To Be Ready
To Compete.
She's Probably
Just Scared And Hiding.
She'll Turn Up.
She Always Turns Up.
But Ward! You Know
How Camille Gets
Without
Her Medications.
[Repeated Echoes]
Without Her Medications...
[Growling]
Nice Doggie.
Calm Down, It's Ok.
[Ruff Ruff]
It's Ok...It's Ok...
Oh, No! Aah!
[Growling And Snarling]
Oh No! Aah! Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
[Barking]
[Barking]
[Barking]
[Barking]
How Can Such A Little Dog
Cause So Much Damage?
Dad's Glove.
[Sighs]
Oh!
[Snoring]
[Barking And Snarling]
Man, Mike Is Gonna
Flip Out.
What Are You
Gonna Do?
I Gotta Get Rid
Of That Dog, First.
I Just Don't Know
How To Get It Back
To The Van Dusens
Without Them Thinking
I Stole It.
I Tried Leaving
The Stupid Dog There
Again Last Night,
But She Wouldn't Stay.
What If You
Called Them Up
And Disguised Your Voice
So They Didn't Know
It Was You
And Told Them You Were
Leaving The Dog
In A Basket In The Park,
And They Could Just
Come And Pick It Up?
Hey. Hey, That's Not
Such A Bad Idea.
[Distorted Voice]
Testing. 1...2...3.
[Telephone Dialing Beeps]
[Telephone Rings]
[Sighs] Hello?
[Disguised Voice]
Good Morning, Mr. Van Dusen.
Who Is This?
I Have Your Dog.
Really?
You've Kidnapped Our Dog.
No...No.
No, I Didn't Kidnap--
You Didn't Kidnap
The Dog?
That's Funny. I Thought
That's What It Was Called
When Someone Breaks
Into A House,
Steals A Person's Dog,
Then Calls Up
With A Disguised Voice
Asking For Ransom.
Mr. Van Dusen,
You Don't Understand--
No, You Don't Understand.
I'm Glad You Took The Dog.
You Can Keep Her.
Don't Even Try
To Bring Her Back.
And If I Find You Anywhere
Near My House With That Dog
I'll Have You Arrested
So Fast
It'll Make Your Head Spin.
Oh, And By The Way,
How's Camille Doing
Without Her Medication?
Ha Ha Ha!
[Phone Beeps Off]
[Marbles Falling
On The Floor]
Oh...
Oh! Oh! Oh!
[Groans]
[Thump]
[Snarling]
Aah!
Get Off Me,
You Stupid Dog!
Uhh! Get Off!
Whoa, Whoa, Whoa!
Aah!
[Barking And Growling]
[Barking And Growling]
Bye-Bye, Camille.
Sadly, I Won't Be Needing
These Allergy Pills Anymore.
I'll Never Sneeze Again
Without That Mutt.
Hah!
Ahh!
Ha Ha Ha! Ha!
[Camille Barking
And Scratching]
[Barking Stops]
[Camille Snarling]
No, No! Go Away!
Leave Me Alone!
Aah!
Heh Heh! Ha Ha Ha!
Gotcha!
[Yipping]
You Might As Well Stop
Because I'm Not
Letting You Out
Until I Figure Out
What To Do With You.
[Snarling]
[Whining]
You Don't Ever
Give Up, Do You?
[Snorting]
Aah! Oohh!
Aah! Aaahhh!
Get Off Of Me!
Aah! Get Off Of Me!
Heh Heh! Ha Ha!
Let Go Of Me,
You Stupid Dog!
Whoa!
Ha!
Ha Ha Ha Ha!
What Are You Doing
Home Already?
You Said
You'd Be Home
At 1600 Hours.
You're, Like,
500 Hours Early.
The Garage Got The Part
For The Jeep Early.
Is That Ok With You?
Hey, What Is Up
With That?
Oh, I--I Had
A Little Accident
Climbing A Tree.
Yeah, Whatever.
Hey, Those Are My Socks!
Man, Do We Have To
Start This Again.
I Do Own Socks.
I Don't Steal Yours.
Yeah, Whatever.
We'll Just Have
A Little Look
In Your Dresser,
Shall We?
Here. Carry This.
Oof!
You're Gonna
Have To Toughen Up,
Little Brother,
If You're Gonna Cut It
At Starkwell Next Year.
Come On, Keep Up.
Let's Go, Double Time.
Now, I Heard About
The Peterson
Scholarship.
How?
Rule Number One,
Little Brother,
Always Have
Informants, Ok?
Now, I Know
You Worked Hard
On That Scholarship,
But Don't Sweat It.
You're Better Off.
Don't Go In There!
Why Not?
Maybe We Could
Go Out To Lunch.
You Know, Maybe
A Nice Monte Cristo?
Maybe A Reuben,
Some Sauerkraut?
I Missed You?
Nice Try.
Excuse Me.
I Can Explain.
Come Here, You.
You Threw A Party,
Didn't You?
No.
No, You Don't Understand.
I Was Just--
You Little Meatstain!
When I Get Through
With You,
There Isn't Gonna Be
Enough Of You Left
To Spread On Toast!
Come Here!
Oh, You're Dead,
Meatstain.
Ahh!
Mom's Gonna Hear
About This!
Ahh! Ahh!
What Was That?
No--Don't--Noth--
No, No, No.
Wait. Ok.
See? There's Nothing
In There, Ok?
Yeah, See?
Ahh!
Ooh! Ooh!
What Is This Thing?
Ahh! Ahh!
[Struggling]
Ahhh!
[Ruff Ruff]
He's Right Behind You.
Hurry Up!
All Right, Explain.
Whose Dog Is That?
It's The Van Dusens' Dog.
Headmaster
Van Dusen?
He Wanted Me To Help
Watch It For A While.
And I Asked Mom,
And She Said It Was Ok.
Oh, Yeah, Right.
Prove It.
How Am I Supposed
To Prove It?
Why Else Would I Have
The Van Dusens' Dog?
Yeah. Well,
You Know What?
I'm Not Taking
Responsibility
For That Stupid
Pooch, Ok?
Now You Get Out
There And Clean
Up That Mess.
I'm Not Helping.
Get Out There
And Subdue That Dog!
Go!
[Ruff Ruff]
Ahh! Oh!
[Ripping Sound]
Get Out Of There!
[Breathing Heavy]
Oh, For Crying Out Loud!
Step Aside, Son.
Watch How A Real Man
Handles That
Stupid Mutt.
Hey, Dog!
Aah! Ahh! No!
No, No, No!
[Barking And Snarling]
I Can't Fight!
I Can't! Wait! Wait...
[Snarling]
No! No!
Mike, Give Me
Your Hand!
Aah!
Mike!
[Struggling Sounds]
Jay, Do Something, Man!
Get Me Off Of This Table.
Look, It's Starting
To Crack, Man!
You Gotta Help Me!
Do Something!
Distract It Or Something!
Come Over Here.
No, No, No!
Get Out Of Here!
Shoo! Shoo!
The Table Is Cracking!
Just Come Over Here!
Ow!
You Ok?
No!
Stay Close To Me.
I Got You.
Ha Ha Ha.
Yeah.
[Vacuum Battery Dies]
What's Happening?
Cheap Batteries.
[Ruff]
Fetch!
Into The Kitchen!
Hurry Up!
Jay: Ahh!
Shoo! Shoo! Shoo!
Ahh!
Go Away!
Go Check It Out.
Is She All Right?
She's Still Breathing.
I Think She Just
Knocked Herself Out.
She Should Be Ok.
Man, You Really Saved
My Skin Back There.
Ha.
Don't Mention It.
You Think Well
On Your Feet,
And You Keep A Cool
Head Under Pressure.
Those Are
Good Qualities
In A Soldier.
[Laser Explosions]
[Knock On Door]
Go Away!
[Knocking]
I Said--
Phooh.
Hello, Ward.
Mr. Columbus, Sir.
Ward, We've Been
All Through This.
Mr. Columbus
Was My Father.
Besides,
We're Family.
You Can
Just Call Me Sir.
Yes, Sir. I Guess You've
Heard About Our Tragedy.
Poor Camille.
That's Why I'm Here.
Eliza Called Me,
Distraught.
She Loves That Dog.
As Do We All, Sir.
I'll Cut Right
To The Chase, Ward.
Find That Dog.
Whatever It Takes.
Eliza Wants To Win
That Dog Show.
Make My Daughter
Happy
Or I'll Find A
Competent Headmaster
For My School.
Where's The Money
Mom Left?
In The Cookie Jar.
And When You Get
Finished Over Here,
Get Started
On The Living Room.
And I Suggest
You Shake A Leg.
We've Got Some Calisthenics
To Get To, Soldier.
What? No Way!
Hey, Don't Give Me
Any Lip. All Right?
This Is For
Your Own Good.
Now You May Be Smart,
But You're Still
A Little Scrawny.
You Won't Last A Week
At Starkwell.
Now What's
Van Dusen's Number?
I'm Gonna Call Him
And Tell Him To Pick Up
His Insane Dog.
No, No, No!
I Mean, I'll Do It.
You Know...
This Is All
My Fault Anyway, So...
I Should Be
Responsible For It.
That's What I Like
To Hear.
Good, Good,
Little Brother.
You're Taking
Responsibility
For Yourself.
Now, I'm Gonna Be
Upstairs Napping,
And When Mom Calls,
I Want To Talk
To Her.
Please Ring.
I'll Be A Nicer Person,
I Promise.
I Won't Ever--
[Ring]
Hello? Hello?
Hello, Mr. Van Dusen.
Ah, It's You.
Yeah. Um, I'm Gonna
Leave Your Dog In The Park.
Well, What Do You Want?
$2,000?
'Cause That's All
She's Worth, Really.
No, No. That's Not What--
Not What You Had
In Mind? Ok, Ok.
5,000.
You Said The Park?
Let's Meet At
The Ice Skating Rink.
4:00. Ok?
Ah.
Do I Even Want To Know
What You Were Up To
In There?
I Thought You Were
Taking A Nap.
I Changed My Mind.
Well, I Didn't Want
To Disturb You,
So I Called Up
Mr. Van Dusen
And Asked Him
If I Can Bring
The Dog Back Now.
And He Said Meet Him
At The Park,
So Can I Get A Lift?
Well, I Guess I Do Owe You
From Before, So Let's Go.
Did You Ask
Van Dusen For Money?
What? Excuse Me?
For The Damages
To The House.
I Mean,
His Dog Caused It.
I'd Say It's At Least
A Couple Hundred
Bucks' Worth.
Oh. Uh, Oh...
Hey, Ask Him.
Ok? He's Loaded.
He Owes Us.
Ok. All Right, Sure.
I'll Ask.
[Low Growling]
Hurry, Man. She's Waking Up.
What?
Ahh! Oh, My God!
Ahh!
Pull Over!
I'm Pullin'!
[Ruff]
Ahh!
Hey, Man, Jump!
Jump!
Run! Run!
Both: No, No!
She's Getting Away!
Great.
This Is Just Great.
No, See, Now You're
Gonna Have To Tell
Van Dusen That You
Lost His Dog.
But She's A Small Dog.
She Can't Go Too Far.
No. You Know What?
I Did Not Sign Up
For A Search
And Rescue, Ok?
This Is Your
Responsibility Now.
I'm Going Home.
And When You Get Home,
If I Just So Happen
To Be Asleep,
Please Don't Wake Me,
All Right?
Good Luck.
Thanks For Nothing!
Good Afternoon.
Hi.
Do We Have Business
To Take Care Of?
What Kind
Of Business?
Doggie Business.
Hey! Watch It, Mister.
Ahh!
Ugh.
Find The Dog?
Don't Worry About It.
Well, How Much Money
Did Van Dusen
Fork Over?
Um, W-W-Well,
He Didn't
Give Me Any Money
'Cause You Know
How He Is.
Said It's Not
His Fault.
Jay, Come On,
Little Brother!
His Dog
Is A Nut Case!
You Don't Ask
Someone To Watch
Your Dog
And Then Not
Tell Them That.
You Know What?
I'll Get Him To Pay.
No, No, No!
Don't Do That!
Because, Um...
'Cause You Can't.
Actually,
Yes, I Can.
Why?
Because He Owes Us.
Now Hand Over
The Phone!
Hey, Give Me That.
Let Go!
Hey, Come Here!
Come Here.
Come Here.
Get Off Me.
Yeah, Come Here.
Give It.
Give It, Give It.
Let Go.
Let Go!
Man, Stop. That's
My Drawing Hand.
Then Let Go!
Give Me It!
Ha, See?
Mike!
There's Something
I've Gotta Tell You.
How Could You Let
This Happen To You?!
You Should Have
Spoken Up Right From
The Very Beginning,
Right When You
Knew That Ronny
Was Giving
Your Presentation!
You Have Got To Find
A Spine, Little Brother!
You're Gonna Get Crushed
At Starkwell.
Man, Enough With
The Starkwell Stuff Already!
I Don't Want
To Go To Starkwell!
I Don't Want The Same Things
You Want, Mike.
I Want To Study Art.
Art Is For People
Who Think
That They're Better
Than Everyone Else!
And I'll Tell You
Something Else,
Little Brother.
If It Wasn't
For The Military,
People Wouldn't Even
Be Able To Waste Their
Time With Art,
Because There Wouldn't
Be Any Freedom.
Dad Would've Wanted Me
To Do Whatever I Wanted To Do.
Look, I Can't Get
Involved With This.
A Thing Like This
Could Ruin
My Military Career.
You Figure It Out.
I'm Not Helping.
I Don't Want
Any Part Of This.
Why Would This Time
Be Any Different?
You Never Helped Me
With Anything!
That's Because
You've Always Been
Such A Little Baby!
Gosh, You're Such
A Snot!
Oh, Here Come
The Tears.
Go Ahead. Cry, Baby.
Man, I Hate You!
This Is What I Get.
This Is What I Get
After Being A Brother
And A Father To You
For The Past 6 Years.
That's Really Nice, Jay.
Man, You Were
Nothing To Me!
You Just Don't
Remember.
You Were Too Young
When It Happened.
Man, I Used To Do
A Ton Of Stuff For You.
Man, I Remember Plenty.
This One Night For Sure...
Right After He Died.
I Was 7 Years Old.
I Had A Nightmare,
And I Crawled Into Your Bed.
I Was Crying,
And You Woke Up
And You Pushed Me Out.
You Wouldn't Even
Listen To Me.
All You Said To Me
Was Stop Being Such A Baby.
But I Was 7, Mike.
I Was A Baby.
I Don't Remember That.
Well, I'll Never Forget It.
It's When I Learned
I Should Never Count On You.
Hey. Just...
Just Wait, Ok?
Sit Down.
Forget About
The Stupid Dog, Ok?
It Followed You Home.
It Got Out On Its Own.
It Probably Would've
Been Lost Anyway.
I Don't Know, Mike.
I Mean...
It Sort Of Is My Fault
That The Dog Got Out.
Please.
I'm Sure That Silly
Dog Couldn't Wait
To Get Away
From Van Dusen.
Come On.
Someone Will
Find It, Adopt It.
It'll Be Much
Happier.
I Guess.
And I'm Gonna Call
Van Dusen And Get
To The Bottom
Of This Stolen
Presentation Thing.
No One Steals
From The Martins.
If Ronny Won With
Your Presentation,
Then You Deserve
That Scholarship,
And I'm Gonna
Get It For You.
But Van Dusen
Is Just Gonna Deny It.
We'll See.
Don't Worry About It.
You Ok?
Mike: But Mr. Van Dusen,
The Presentations
Were Exactly The Same.
Uh-Huh.
Word For Word.
I've Been Over
All This With
Your Brother, Michael.
Sir--
Ronny Wrote That
Presentation Himself.
Are We Clear
On This Now?
Good Night.
Well,
What Did He Say?
Well, He Said Ronny
Wrote The Presentation.
Told You He
Would Say That.
Well,
He's Obviously Lying.
How Can You Tell?
Well, His Mouth
Was Moving For One,
And Secondly,
Van Dusen's Pond Scum, Ok?
He's Always Been Pond Scum.
That's How I Know
He's Lying.
Hey, Do You Remember
That Time When
I Was At Columbus
And I Got Cut
From The Baseball To Make Room For His Nephew
Who Never Played Baseball
Before In His Life?
Well, Mike,
There's Nothing
We Can Do About It Now.
Well, We Have
To Do Something.
I Mean, We Can't
Just Let Van Dusen
Get Away With This.
You Know What?
Here's What
We'll Do.
We'll Find
This Mutt Of His, Right?
And Since Van Dusen Seems
So Eager To Pay A Reward
For His Lost Pooch,
We'll Just Let Him.
But In The Meantime,
We Have To Stall For Time
While We Look For The Dog.
Wait, Mike.
Are You Sure This Is
The Right Thing To Do?
Hey, This Is About
Family Honor, Jay.
You're Going
To The Peterson Academy.
You Worked Hard
For That Scholarship,
All Right?
You Deserve It.
Ok, What Did You Do
With My Brother Mike?
Ha Ha. Very Funny.
Hey,
But If We Do This,
We're Gonna Do It
The Army Way, Ok?
Strict And Covert.
Not A Word About This
To Anyone. You Understand?
Right.
All Right.
It Is Gonna
Be A Great Party.
It Will.
It's Gonna Be Great.
But It Would Be Even Better
If You Could Be There.
Jay!
Hey, Ronny.
Martian.
What's Up?
Nothin'.
Anyway, Listen.
If You Guys Need
Hall Passes,
I Mean,
If You Do Need 'Em,
I Am Running
A Special This Week.
2 For One.
So, You Should Call Me
About The Party Or...Or
Uh, You Know, You Should
E-Mail Me, Page Me, Fax Me,
Write Me, Whatever.
All Right, Babe? Bye.
[Exhales]
I'm Glad You Made It,
Jay.
Ronny's Been Hanging
Around Me Like A Mosquito.
Never Stops
Being A Pest.
Loudspeaker: Jay Martin,
Please Report
To Mr. Van Dusen's Office.
Jay Martin, Report
To Mr. Van Dusen's Office.
Mr. Martin?
Yes, Sir?
My Dog Is Missing.
I Want To Talk
To You About
Getting Her Back.
I Am So Sorry,
Mr. Van Dusen--
Yeah, Yeah, I Know.
Looks Like
A Textbook
Dog-Napping Job.
Obviously, Somebody
Knows How Much
A Prize Show Dog
Is Worth.
I'm Putting Student Council
In Charge Of Posting
Reward Signs.
As President,
I Want You
To Organize It.
$5,000 For Information
Leading To The Return
Of Camille.
Wow...That's A Lot
Of Money.
Whoever Tries To Bring
The Little Fluffball Back
Is Obviously The Dog-Napper.
When They Show Up
With The Dog,
I'll Have Him Arrested.
Everybody's Happy.
I Want Them Up By Tonight!
300 Signs!
No Excuses.
Go, Go, Go!
Oh. Yes, Sir.
He Talked About Them
Getting Arrested.
What Do I Do?
He Wants To Start
A War? All Right.
We Can Play That Game
For A Little While.
What About The Posters?
Stall As Long
As You Can, All Right?
Meet Me At Home,
1600 Hours.
[Telephone Rings]
[Ring]
Yes, Hello?
Distorted Voice:
Hello, Van Dusen.
Where Were You
Last Night?
I Waited
Over An Hour.
Where Was I?
Where Were You?
I Was There.
At The Fountain?
The Marble Statue
Of The Angels
In The Center
Of The Park?
You Said The Ice Skating
Rink Near The Entrance.
That Is Insane.
Why Would I Ever
Agree To Meet You
At An Ice Rink?
Witnesses, Man! Unh!
Use A Little Common
Sense, Will You?
Look, I Don't Have To---
Never Mind.
I Forgive You.
What?
All Right. Now, Here's
What We're Gonna Do, Ok?
Just So There's
No Confusion Or Mix-Ups.
I Want You
To Meet Me At, Um...
Mrs. Bee's Bakery
At Exactly 4:00.
Come Alone. No Cops.
No Cops.
I Want You To Purchase
A Large Sheet Cake...
And Have Them
Write On It--
I'm Trying To Use
The Phone, Man.
Excuse Me, You Know?
Get To Steppin'.
All Right.
Have Them Write
On It...
"The Itsy Bitsy Spider"
In Blue--No, Red Icing.
That Is Ludicrous.
Of Course It's Ludicrous!
That's The Point,
Van Dusen! Man!
You Want The Dog,
Don't You?
Tell Me
You Want The Dog.
Now, Listen Up,
All Right,
'Cause There's
A Little More.
Uh, Jay?
Why Can't We Just
Make One Poster
And Photocopy It,
Like, 300 Times?
Well, Van Dusen
Wants Colorful,
Attractive Posters.
If They Were
All The Same,
People Would Start
Ignoring Them, Right?
Mm-Hmm.
[Bell Rings]
All Right, Guys.
We Need 300 Posters.
So, Let's Pick Up
The Pace.
All Right, Guys. It's Time
To Assemble A Posting Team.
I'll Lead,
And I'll Take, Um--
Bill: Oh, Oh, Oh!
Pick Me. Oh, Oh, Oh!
Oh...
Bill And Andy.
Yes!
Girl: Bill And Andy?
Are You Kidding?
I Thought Van Dusen
Wanted These Posters Up
By This Century.
They Haven't
Even Finished
Their First Poster.
Well, Guys, We Need
About 150 More.
So, Let's
Keep 'Em Coming.
Here, Take That.
Come On.
Hey, Thanks, Jay.
This Is Way Cooler
Than Coloring.
Yeah, Way,
Way Cooler.
[Giggling]
Here, Give Me
Some Of These.
Bill, We're Gonna
Have To Split Up
If We're Gonna Get
All These Posters Up
By Tonight.
Uh, Where Do You
Want 'Em Posted?
You Know What, Andy?
I'm Gonna Let
You Guys Decide
Where You Think
The Most People
Will Check 'Em Out.
Oh, And, Uh...
Good Luck, Guys.
Itsy, Bitsy Spider
Went Up The Water Spout
Down Came The Rain
And Washed
The Spider Out
[Bill Laughs]
I Just Knew
He'd Pick Us.
I Just Knew.
This Is Perfect
'Cause People Stand Here
For Like Ten Minutes
Washing Their Cars.
Yeah, Then They'll Have
To Read The Poster.
Here We Go.
All Right.
Don't Be Afraid Of It.
It's Not Gonna Bite You.
All Right.
Are You Sure
About This?
Yeah, I'm Positive.
All Right.
Done?
Yeah, Close
It Up Tight.
Itsy, Bitsy Spider
Went Up The Water Spout
Down Came The Rain
And Washed
The Spider Out
Out Came The Sun
And Dried Up
All The Rain
And The Itsy,
Bitsy Spider
Went Up
The Spout Again
Itsy, Bitsy Spider
Went Up
The Water Spout
Down Came The Rain
And Washed
The Spider Out
Out Came The Sun
[Grunting]
Oh...
The Itsy,
Bitsy Spider
Went Up
The Garden Hose
Down Came
The Snow
And Broke
The Spider's Nose
[Laughing]
Hey, What About
That Pole Over There?
Perfect. It's
By A Stop Light.
People Will
Have To Stop
And Read The Poster.
So They Don't
Blow Away.
Ok.
Here You Go.
Ok.
So, How Does It Look?
It Looks Great.
[Gasps]
Oh, No, Wait!
Oh, Come Back!
Come Back!
Oh, No. He Got
Our Posters!
Hey, Give Us Back
Our Posters!
Oh, No, Come Back...
[Barking]
Still No Sign.
This Is Starting
To Look Suspicious.
We Better Try
Something Else.
Hey, Man!
Yo, There She Is!
[Growling]
Yes!
Oh, Yeah. We Got Her.
She's On The Line.
Aah!
Aah!
Jay: She's Gone!
Now What Are We
Gonna Tell Van Dusen?
I Think We Need
A Little More Time.
I'm Gonna Have
You The Dog
By Friday, Sir.
Armand: Friday.
Absolutely.
My Promise.
I'm Not
Kidding Around.
All Righty, Then.
Bye-Bye.
I'm Tired
Of Your Excuses, Ward.
Yes, Sir. Bye-Bye.
The Dog Show Is Friday.
I Want That Dog--
Yes, Sir. Good-Bye.
Do You Know What
I'm Saying, Ward--
[Rings]
I'm Sorry, Sir. I Wasn't
Hanging The Phone Up--
Distorted Voice:
What Happened,
You Sneaky Weasel?
Oh, It's You!
Listen To Me.
I Did Everything
You Asked Me To,
And You Still
Didn't Show Up.
You Called The Police,
Didn't You?
I Did No Such Thing.
You're Just Trying
To Make A Buffoon
Out Of Me.
I'm Done
With Your Games!
Hey, That Place Was
Swarming With Badges,
And You Know It.
Now, You Hold On
A Minute--
No, I Don't Have
A Minute, Van Dusen.
So, Listen Up, All Right?
4:30 Today.
Go By The, Uh,
Bowling Alley.
Get Yourself A Bright
Orange Bowling Ball.
I Want You To Bowl
10 Straight Frames
Of Gutter Balls.
Not One Pin Knocked Down,
You Understand Me, Mister?
The Last Frame, Your Ball
Will Be Returned To You
With A Note Attached
Telling You Where
To Find The Dog.
Oh, By The Way, Uh,
Does Your Wife
Have A Frilly Robe
And Some
Fluffy Slippers?
Yes! Goose Egg.
[Laughs]
"O" For 10.
Guess It's
Not My Night.
Where's That Note?
I Want My Note!
Where's My Note?
You Promised Me A Note!
I Want It!
Give It To Me Now!
I Want That Note!
[Grunting]
Oh, No!
[Barking]
Girl: Get Away. Get Away.
Mommy! Get Away.
Oh, Mommy!
Mike: There She Is.
See, I Told You
I Knew Her Voice.
You Don't Listen To
That Yapping All Night
Without Getting It
Burned Into Your Mind.
All Right Now.
Just Stay Behind
Me, All Right?
She Might Make
A Run For It.
All Right, Come On.
Watch My Back.
All Right,
Come Here.
Come On, Stay Close.
Stay Close, Come On.
Hi. Come Here, Girl.
Come Here, Camille.
Come Here, Dog.
Come On, Camille.
I Got Her.
[Barking]
All Right, Come On.
Get Her, Get Her, Get Her!
[Both Screaming]
Whoa!
I Don't Believe It.
Me Neither.
Nice. Well Done,
Little Brother.
Come Here,
You Stupid Dog.
Hello.
[Growling]
[Laughs]
She Acts A Lot
More Normal Now.
Yeah.
I Guess
All She Needed
Was To Run Around
And Burn Off
Some Energy,
You Know?
I Mean, She Spends
Half Her Life
At The Groomer
And The Other Half
Going To Dog Shows.
She Just Needed
To Chill Out And Be
A Regular Dog
For A While.
Now We Can Really Set Up
That Trade, You Know?
I Got A Good Feeling
About This, Jay.
I've Been Informed
That We're Up And Running
At Your House As Well.
Good.
I Want That Miscreant
Behind Bars
As Soon As Possible.
This Way, Son.
You, Uh...
You Wanted To--
What?
You Wanted
To See Me, Sir?
I Want 300 New
Posters, Martin,
With A Police Hotline
Number On 'Em.
Get On It Right Away.
Excuse Me, Excuse Me,
Excuse Me.
Girl: No Way.
No Way!
Excuse Me, Are You
Gonna Be Long?
'Cause I Have To Make
A Really Important--
Shh!
Are You Serious?
No Way.
No Way.
Really?
No Way.
No Way, No Way,
No Way.
[Telephone Rings]
[Rings]
[Rings]
[Rings]
[Rings]
Hello.
Distorted Voice:
Hello For The Last
Time, Van Dusen.
What Do You Mean?
Well, Either We Settle
This Matter Today,
Or It Does Not
Get Settled At All.
Girl: Yeah, Right.
Yeah, Right.
I'm So Sure.
No Way.
He Is Not.
She Is Not.
We Are Not!
This Is An Emergency.
I'm Really Sorry.
Oh!
Let's Just Keep It Nice
And Simple, All Right?
Let's Meet In A...
Simple Location
In A Secluded Part--
[Beep]
Oh, You Know What?
Hold On.
That's My Other Line.
He Put Me On Hold.
That's Excellent.
That Buys More Time.
We Just Need 2 Minutes.
Hello?
The Police Are Tapping
Van Dusen's Phone!
What?
I'm On The Other Line
With Him Right Now.
Hang Up!
Hang Up Now!
Van Dusen?
Yes.
I Thought
Of A Place.
Uh, You Know?
I Gotta Go. Bye.
Ghee!
He Hung Up On Me.
Mike: Jay!
Hey, Jay!
Over Here.
Hey, Man, Any Sign?
No. The Trace Must Not
Have Gone Through.
We Can't Just
Turn Her In Now.
Well, Maybe We Can
Let Her Loose,
And Hopefully,
Someone Will Find Her.
What If She Gets
Hit By A Car?
I Can't Live
With That.
Look, It's Either
That Or We Go To Jail.
I Mean, Do You
Understand, Jay?
Our Lives Could
Be Ruined By This.
Mike, Look.
I'm Sorry I Got You
Involved In This.
Look, If We
Get Arrested,
I Promise I Will
Take All The Blame.
And If I Wasn't
Such A Wimp,
None Of This Would
Have Ever Happened.
No, See. We're
In This Together.
And We'll Get Out
Of It Together.
Good.
'Cause I Think I Got
A Plan That'll Get Us
Out Of All Of This.
All Right.
Well, Let's Hear It.
All Right. First...
So...
What Do You Think
Of My Disguise?
I Told You, Man.
It Looks Like You
Cut It Off The Dog.
Really?
It's 'Cause I Did.
I Don't Know About
This, Little Brother.
It Seems Really
Risky To Me.
It's Simple.
See, Look.
The Police Are In
The Main House.
So, I'll Just
Sneak Through
The Neighbors'
Backyards...
And Into
The Pool House.
But If Ronny's There,
You Just Distract Him
For A Little Bit.
It'll Be Fine.
I Guess...
But I Don't Really
Know A Whole Lot
About Bmx Bikes.
Just Wing It.
Ok, When You Hear
The Bird Call--
Caw, Caw--
Get Out Of There.
Hey, Did You Draw This
All From Memory?
Yeah.
It's Really Good, Jay.
Thanks.
All Right, Camille.
Ready To Go Home?
Oh, I'm Gonna
Miss You, Too.
So Long, Puppy Dog.
[Barking]
Shh! Quiet!
Quiet!
Don't Worry, Camille.
We're Just Gonna Take You
For A Little Walk
In The Basket, Ok?
Good Girl.
Who's A Good Dog?
How'd You Get Her
To Do That?
[Laughs]
I Don't Know.
I Was Just
Nice To Her.
[Sighs]
All Right.
Wish Me Luck.
You Don't Need Luck,
Little Brother.
It's A Good Plan.
[Whimpering]
Oh!
[Barking]
Woman: Go On, Suggs.
Go Outside.
Do Your Business.
[Barking]
[Growling]
Aah! Aah!
Aah, Get Off Of Me!
Get Away! Aah!
Oh, Aah, Aah!
[Barking]
Get Away From Me!
Get Away, Get Away!
Aah!
Come Here, Suggs!
Come On, Boy!
Good Boy, Suggs.
[Knocking]
Hi. Who Are You?
Hi, I'm
Fred Fredrickson.
Yeah, I'm A Reporter
From Bmx Magazine.
I Was Wondering If You'd
Be Interested In Doing
A Small Review
For The Magazine?
Wait. Wait, How Did You
Know I Like Bmx Bikes?
Well, You Do
Subscribe To The
Magazine, Don't You?
No. No, I Don't.
I Get My Issues
Up The Street.
Ok, Well,
You Know What?
If You're
Not Interested
In Getting
A Free Bmx Bike
For Writing
A Real Kid's Review,
That's Ok--
No, Actually,
I'm Interested.
I--What Do I Do
To Get The Bike?
Well, Just Answer
A Few Questions For Us
To See
If You Qualify, Ok?
Let's Have 'Em.
Ok, Um, Questions.
Let's See What
We Got Here. Um...
Ok, Uh, Bmx Stands
For What, Exactly?
[Laughs]
Uh, Bicycle Motocross.
Next.
Ok, Um...
Children: Let's Go,
Let's Go, Let's Go...
Oh, Man.
Um...
Those Things
That The Bmx
Frame Rides On.
What Are
Those Called?
You Mean The Tires?
You're Good, Mister.
You're Really Good.
Ok, Um, Well...
To "Pop A Wheelie"
Means
To Do What
In Bmx Jargon?
These Questions
Are Ridiculous, And--
You Know What?
That's Wrong.
I'm Sorry.
No, You Know What?
I Know The Answer.
[Cutting Off Each Other]
I've Been Trying--
Oh--
I...
Zzz--Ok?
I Can Only Accept
Your Initial Answer
To The Question.
Next Question.
Oh.
What Was That?
Oh, Sorry.
I Had A Little Rumble
In My Stomach.
I'm A Little Hungry.
So, Tell Me, What
Kind Of Axel Grease
Does Bmx Rider
Kai Vierstra Prefer?
What's The Guy's Name?
Uh, Kai Vierstra.
It's In The Throat.
Rrr...
Yeah, Uh-Huh.
I Don't Know.
[Camille Whimpering]
[Crying]
[Telephone Rings]
[Rings]
Hello?
Hello, Mr. Van Dusen.
Sorry I Had To Hang Up
On You The Last Time.
I, Uh...
I Stubbed My Toe.
Anyway, This Is
Your Last Chance
To Get Your Dog Back,
So Listen Up.
I'm Listening.
Meet Me Behind
Fineman's Deli
In One Hour.
It's Secluded There.
Good-Bye,
Mr. Van Dusen.
No, Wait, Can--
He Hung Up.
No, He Didn't
Break The Connection.
We're Still Tracing.
Oh, We're
Gonna Get Him.
Come On.
I'm Gonna Miss You.
[Camille Whimpers]
Look...
I Don't Really Have Time
For A Long Good-Bye, But...
You Be Good, Ok?
Uh, Well...
Uh, Mars
Is The Fourth,
Fifth, Or Sixth
Planet From The Sun?
Wait, That Has Nothing
To Do With Bmx Bikes.
Bye, Camille.
[Whimpering]
Caw, Caw!
Oh, You Know What?
It's A Moot Point,
Because You Didn't
Pass The Test.
Wait, What Do You Mean,
I Didn't Pass?
I Got One Wrong.
No, No, No.
See, You Missed
The Whole
"Pop A Wheelie"
Question, And--
That's Still
One Wrong!
Thank You So Much For
Playing. I Appreciate
Your Time, Ok,
But We've Got
A Lovely Parting Gift
For You Today.
Please Enjoy These
Free Bmx Magazines.
Have A Great Day, Ok?
Buh-Bye.
I Won, Really.
[Music Playing Loudly]
It Says The Call
Is Coming In
From This Address.
It Can't Be.
We're All Right Here.
Except For...
Go, Go!
[Laughs]
Hello?
Hello, Indeed.
[Camille Barks]
Oh, Hey,
You Found Camille.
We Certainly Did,
And I, For One,
Am Speechless.
My Own Son. I Would
Never Have Guessed.
Oh, Is My Little Baby
All Right? Oh...
Is This What You Were
Gonna Do With The Money?
Buy A Bmxer I Already
Said You Couldn't Have?
First Of All, Stop
Calling It A Bmxer.
That's Not
What It Is.
And Second Of All,
What Are You
Talking About?
Don't Play Innocent
With Us, Young Man.
Kidnapping
Your Own Mother's Dog.
How Low Can You Get?
I'd Say The Apple
Doesn't Fall Very Far
From The Tree, Ward.
Everybody Wants To Get
Where They're Going
As Fast As They Can.
Including Those With
Physical Challenges.
Our Town Can Make
Greater Efforts To Create
A More Handicapped
Accessible Environment
With The Addition
Of Moving Sidewalks
Throughout
The Entire Town,
And Automatic Doors
Outside Of Every Building.
We Could
Begin The Process
Of Reversing
Discrimination
Against The Physically
Challenged In Our World...
And Eventually,
In The Entire World.
[Applause]
You Just Heard Jay Martin's
Scholarship-Winning
Community Improvement
Presentation.
In Light Of Some
Recent Occurrences,
We Re-Opened
The Competition.
And So, Mr. Martin
Will Be Attending
The Donald Peterson
Academy
On A Full Scholarship.
[Cheers And Applause]
Good Job, Man.
Well Done.
Thanks.
Come Here, Come Here.
Good Job.
Knucklehead!
Before We Call
The Graduates Up
To Receive Their
Diplomas,
I'll Make A Short
Speech About The Promise
Of The Future,
Then You Will
Introduce Our
Key Note Speaker,
Nurse Ketcham.
[Buzzer]
You Buzzed, Sir?
Yes, Ward.
I'd Like Another
Orange Soda,
With Less Ice
This Time.
And Another Root Beer
For Mr. Martin.
Sorry To Interrupt,
Daddy,
But I Just
Had To Stop By
With The Good News.
[Growling]
[Arf]
Did You See That?
I've Never Seen
Camille Take To
Someone Like That.
Guess I...Just Have
A Way With Dogs.
[Growling]
This Dog Is An Excellent
Judge Of Character.
[Barks, Growls]
What Are You Doing
Here, Dear?
Oh, I Just
Had To Come By.
I Couldn't Wait.
I Just Came From The Vet,
And He Said That Camille
Was Just Fine.
He Said That All This Time
She Was Probably
Just Stressed!
That Couldn't Wait
Until I Got Home?
Ooh, No, This Couldn't.
It's The Most Wonderful
News In The World.
Camille Is Going
To Have Puppies!
Of Course, I Want
To Keep Most Of Them.
But...Since Camille
Seems To Like Jay
So Much...
Would You Like One
Of Her Puppies?
Yeah, Thanks.
But The Puppies
Will Play Havoc
With My Allergies.
Oh, I Know.
With Ronny
Off At School,
You Can Move Into
The Pool House.
It's For Your
Own Good.
Thank You, Dear.
Hey, Mr. Van Dusen.
Congratulations
On The Puppies.
It Couldn't Have Happened
To A Nicer Guy.
March...Left!
Left! Left!
March Left!
Platoon Halt!
I'm Proud Of You,
Son.
You've Whipped
This Sorry Group
Into Fine Shape.
Thank You, Sir!
Carry On.
About...Face!
Cadet Van Dusen!
What Is The Starkwell
Creed, Son?!
Always Try Harder!
Never Give Up, Sir!
What Are The 3 Rs,
Son?!
Rules, Regimen,
And Respect, Sir!
What Does
Pop-A-Wheelie
Mean To You?
Yeah!
Right...
Face!
Forward...March!
Left...Left...
Left, Right, Left.
Left, Left.
Left, Right, Left.
Left, Left.
Left, Right, Left.