Fagbug Nation (2014)

Well, I'm Jewish.
My ancestors are Jewish.
We would never drive a Kikebug.
So, I'm just wondering ...
It's a really offensive term.
I was wondering, what's
the argument with
[Voiceover] It started like
any other trip to the movies.
[Usher] Theater number seven
to your right, thank you.
[Voiceover] But people
at the Fagbug premiere
got to see a road
trip about tolerance
unfold before their eyes.
[Voiceover] I'm
a 65yearold fag
in a '99 Beetle.
[Voiceover] The
documentary chronicles
Erin Davies crosscountry
trek in her Volkswagen
that was vandalized
with the words "fag"
and "U R gay."
[Man] What happened to a car
and then was able to use
it as away to get people
to talk about what
happens to human beings.
I thought it was very effective.
[Voiceover] Davies
was admittedly nervous
about the movie
premiere here in Albany
because this is where
here lifechanging journey
started six years ago.
But, 48 states,
four broken windows,
and over 200 speaking
events later,
she says it's been a wild,
and wildly important ride.
[Erin] When my car
first got vandalized,
I decided to leave the
graffiti on the car
to show a visual example
of what homophobia looks like
to people who may have
never experienced it.
A year after I began driving
my car with the graffiti,
I gave my car a
colorful makeover.
I planned a 58day
trip around the US,
and filmed the
documentary, called Fagbug
about the adventure.
The film is now on Netflix,
and has quite a cult
following from people
all around the world.
Since then, I've become
a nationally touring
motivational speaker.
On a fulltime basis,
I present the Fagbug story
to high schools, middle schools,
colleges, and businesses.
Once I began traveling,
my car became known
as the fagbug.
I made sure to take a picture
of every "welcome to"
sign I came across.
It was always a goal of mine,
from the very beginning,
to get my car to all 50 states.
It took me three years
to reach 48 states.
I spent another
three stuck at 48.
Hawaii and Alaska
being the last two
I had yet to get to.
If you're at 48, you've gotta
do noncontinental states.
Hawaii's fabulous.
Why not?
And, Alaska ...
is Alaska.
I planned a fourweek tour
where I booked myself
26 days straight.
Along the way, I interviewed
over 1,000 people.
Not once did I have to ask
anyone to do an interview.
They all came to me.
That's the magic behind the car.
It allows people's
defenses to disappear,
and brings to the surface
what's always been there,
but otherwise would
not have been seen.
We run far away from here
("We Run" by Caleb)
We run far away from here
And we run far away from here
And we run far away from here
And we run far away from here
And we run far away from here
And we run far
away from here
[Sonya] I just want
people to understand that
the Fagbug, as a whole,
with Erin and the car included,
is a partnership.
The car is her business partner.
It takes at least,
at the very minimum,
50 percent of everything
that she makes.
[Erin] If you were
me, and you went through
48 states with a car, would
you wanna get to all 50?
Absolutely, including
Hawaii and Alaska.
How would you do that?
I was planning on
covering the cost myself
with my tour that I was booking.
But, Sonya had an idea
that I should start
a Kickstarter campaign just
because it's so much money.
It costs about $2300
to ship the car
from California to
Hawaii, and back.
So, I'm on a three
and a half week trip.
I've taken my car to all states,
except Alaska and Hawaii.
I'm literally on my
way to Los Angeles.
I'm shipping my car, April 26th,
to Hawaii.
Today's Saturday, I
have an event to be at
in Northern Illinois,
about five hours from here.
Monday morning at nine,
my car is stuck in the middle of
a road, blocking traffic.
Getting it towed now.
[Man] This young lady's
vehicle will not go into gear.
We feel that it has
a clutch problem.
My car is getting
worked on right now.
It needs a new clutch.
They tried other things
but worstcase scenario
is what happened.
It's gonna cost about $1500.
So, here we go.
One, two, three,
four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine,
10, 11, 12, 13, 14 ...
$1500 ...
is going into fixing my clutch.
I did have an event
scheduled today
at Northern Illinois University.
Since they got me a rental car,
I was willing to drive there.
It's about five hours away.
I gave them the
option of me coming,
and getting there in time
for the screening tonight,
or rescheduling.
They chose to reschedule ...
because they'd rather
have the car there.
See, people like my car
more than they like me.
The car is really
kind of the center of
attraction, I think,
with your story
and your program.
We wanted to do
something like this,
where we could have
your car and you
out in the daytime to get
more interest in the evening.
Just didn't think it was
gonna work out very well
without the actual bug here.
These things will work in time
We both say willingly
But history repeats itself
Says something inside of me
I will not be pushed around
For mutual gain
We're framing the fabric
For intensity's sake
My favorite part
of driving the car
for the last six years is that
people have left
handwritten notes on my car.
This one is my
secondfavorite one.
I don't know who left this,
but can you read this one to me?
It says, "I sometimes
run past your car
"when I'm out running.
"I told myself the
next time I did,
"I would break up with
my perfect boyfriend
"and tell him the
truth, I'm gay.
"Here goes nothing.
"Thank you Fagbug."
Oh my, God, that's cool.
It's written on this little
kittycat PostIt.
My car has been egged.
My car has been keyed,
the whole driver's side.
Mud's been thrown at my car.
My car has been spit on.
One time, somebody put
a trashcan on my car,
Another time, somebody put
both my windshield wipers
and stood 'em standing
straight up and down.
I was like, "If you're gonna
do something, like seriously,
"that's the best you
can come up with?"
My car has only been
rewritten on again, one time.
Somebody wrote, "Faggets
plus dikes need to die,"
on my driver's side window.
If you look closely, they
also misspelled faggots
and they misspelled dykes
so I try to keep in mind
the intelligence level
of who we're dealing with, here.
[Girl] I think ...
it's Ok to be gay.
You're just goin' to
hell, but it's Ok.
[Erin] Would you
drive this car around?
Hell no!
[Erin] Why not?
People gone get
the wrong idea.
[Erin] People will
think you're gay?
[Erin] So you wanna
stay as far away from it
as possible? [Harrison]
Yeah, I'm gonna have Freddy
comin' from across the road,
(exaggerated) "Hey!"
Get the fuck away from me.
That's someone who's not
comfortable with
their sexuality.
No, I just don't like
being around faggots.
I was just looking
out from the window,
and was just seeing
that three guys,
about teenage age,
just walking up,
taking pictures.
I see one guy.
He was facing
towards the window.
I see him just bending down,
and just mooning the camera,
or mooning his friend's phone.
I'm thinking, "Oh my, God.
"That guy is mooning the car."
[Erin] You decided
to moon my car?
I'm sorry, it's
just a thing we do.
[Erin] What made
you wanna moon it?
I don't know, it's
just a thing we do.
[Erin] You just moon
everything in Bakersfield?
Pretty much, huh?
[Luis] Yeah.
[Erin] Was it your idea
or him to moon the car?
[Erin] Why'd you think
that would be cool? (laughs)
To put it on
Facebook or Tumblr.
[Erin] So, you saw the car?
How'd you see it?
[Jeremy] I walked past
it out of the hotel.
[Erin] What'd you think?
[Jeremy] I thought
it was pretty cool.
[Erin] And you
took a picture of it?
[Jeremy] Yeah.
[Voiceover] What'd
you do with the picture?
Tagged it on Instagram.
Threw it to my Facebook.
Put a nice pride tag
on it, and everything.
Within ...
10 seconds, I think it was,
somebody told me
your whole story.
Why aren't you driving
the Dykebug? Lesbians,
I guess that's the ...
That's what I wanna know.
[Adam] It'd be the
same thing, right?
But, is it something
you take offense to?
[Jim] The Dyke Bus.
[Erin] You think it should
be called the Dykebug?
The Dyke Bus.
With a bunch of dykes on it.
Just seeing the car
name is Fagbug,
I think that's just an insult.
[Voiceover] I'm on the way
here from Nebraska.
Some guys in a
truck drove by and
blew up a condom,
and were waving it
out their window at me.
Another person in a truck,
way ahead of me, slowed down.
I thought, "They're
really wanting me
"to catch up to them so
they can get pictures."
As soon as I came
up next to them,
they were taking pictures.
I really don't like
when people keep
surrounding my car,
and make it so it's
unsafe for me to drive,
(mumbles) I don't know,
going 15 miles an hour
on a 75mileanhour road
just to get a picture.
It's not safe for anybody.
The ones that jaw flap
("Straighten Up" by YG Rippa)
And always run they mouth
Be the main ones
that don't know crap
'Bout what they
saying they playing
They put they issues on you
But you gone
listen to the fool
But he the one fooling you
Some guy wrote on Twitter.
Actually, he walked
by a while ago.
He said that he wanted
to throw the table over
and kick out the
windows to the car.
Well, uh ...
You found me on Twitter
posting comments about ...
the fagbug.
[Erin] What'd you think
when you first saw it?
a lot of things, I guess.
Mainly, why was it here?
I kinda was getting
mixed thoughts
'cause I didn't know
if you was progay
or antigay.
Really didn't know.
As I looked into it, my
views and thoughts kinda
changed on it, because I'm for
a lot of movement.
Definitely if it's
something positive,
I'm all for movements.
I can also respect
that it's a story
behind the Fagbug.
You don't even know
what you reaching for
("Straighten Up" by YG Rippa)
Trying to get out of your hole
But you just keep
on digging more
Pull yourself up
dust your ish off
Keep your chin up chin up
And straighten
up or give it up
[Terence] When I was driving
through Downtown Chico.
I was on a cookie run.
We did chocolate chip
cookies this afternoon.
Your car was parked on
the side of the road,
so I ...
got online, emailed
you, and you showed up.
In the last six years, I
replied to every single person
that's ever sent me a message,
unless, for some reason,
I accidentally missed it.
So, I probably responded
to 30,000 emails.
I try to be as available to
this conversation as I can.
This one's from Syracuse,
New York, and it says,
"I'm sick of seeing
your car around here,
"and sick of hearing how
inspiring of a person
"people think you
are, or vice versa.
"I think you are a
selfindulging cunt
"who is taking
advantage of something
"that happened to
you seven years ago
"for personal benefit.
"Get a real job, stop
being a bottom feeder.
"Setting a terrible,
pathetic example
"for the GLBT community."
So, even this woman, her
name was Janet Smith,
I emailed ...
I even responded to her,
and said I'd be more than
glad to meet you in person,
have a facetoface
And of course
even, she declined.
I'm amazed that
your approach is,
that anybody who writes
to you deserves an answer.
I just love for that.
[Lady] That's awesome!
I just think
that's so amazing.
And you've obviously gotten
some bad responses but
you're talking.
You're just wonderful, I think.
Throw me in the
water ("Bottomfeeder"
by Amanda Palmer)
'Cause I want to
be a bottomfeeder
[Voiceover] I seen
an article on TV about
somebody painting a
house in colors like this
across the street
from an antigay
church and I thought
it was unbelievable
what they're doing and
it kind of reminds me
of the same thing.
We're in front of
the Equality House,
which is across the street from
the Westboro Baptist Church,
the most known hate group
in the United States
perhaps right now.
This is a house that we painted
the colors of the pride flag
and it also has actually more
colors that the pride flag
to reflect a greater diversity.
This isn't just a
gay rights issue,
this is about everyone.
Many years ago when I first
went to community college,
I was actually still
in high school.
The community college that I
attended was Kilbourn College
and there was a production
of Angels in America slotted
to go on campus and so
I was actually cast in that as
a 17 year old in high school.
The Westboro Baptist Church
came in to protest with signs
that had stick figures that
were having anal
sex, anal intercourse
with flyers that said
"Maggots are better
than faggots,
"because at least
maggots are natural."
What's the opposite of God?
The devil.
What's the opposite of
a regular marriage between
a marriage and a woman?
So it's a whole opposite
thing, good and bad.
I don't agree with Westboro
Baptist at all because
what they're basically doing
is presenting their opinions
in probably the most
controversial way they
possibly can do it.
And that's not the
message of Christianity.
That's not the message of
what God would have us doing.
You might see their hatred but
there's still love all around
and so it's supposed to be
where ever there's hate,
there's also love, you
just have to look for it.
I love the fact that you
stopped at the Rainbow House
right across from
Fred Phelp's church
because he is the biggest
bigot in the world.
And I've had people ask me
why hasn't somebody shot him
it's like, 'cause none of
us want to make a martyr
out of him that's why.
My comment on that is the
bullet is scared to hit 'em.
[Erin] How did you
feel about this house
when they painted it?
A breath of fresh air.
When they finished painting it,
and that flag went up, the
United States flag flying
the way it was designed
to fly, proudly.
and the rainbow flag below it.
That's what freedom's about.
Freedom to express
ourselves any way in this
United States that we
feel comfortable doing.
We actually have
a third boyfriend.
We were trying to get him
to meet up with us but
we're a throuple, so
there's three of us.
[Erin] Like a triad?
Yeah, a triad.
We call it a throuple
instead of a couple.
[Erin] How do your
families respond to that?
Well, that's real interesting
because Noni's parents know
Todd's family knows but
I haven't talked to my
family about it at all, 'cause
it's like I said before,
I'm really scared
what would happen
if they rejected me.
I have a great family
and we're really close.
We've just never talked
about it any of this.
I knew about there
being gay people
and I knew about straight
people, so I thought
there was maybe something
kind of wrong with me.
Maybe I wasn't
all the way gay or
all the way straight.
"Do other people have crushes
on both boys and girls?"
But then when you
talk to your friends,
"No, no way!"
"No way, ew!"
The other girls were like,
"No way, I wouldn't have a
crush on a girl, that's gross."
So it was like I knew I
was definitely different.
But then I knew I wasn't
different in the ways that like
the gay kids were different.
So I couldn't figure that
out and so I thought maybe
there was just something
weird or freakish about me
or something, I didn't
know about bisexuality.
I just sort of carried it
with me, almost like a secret.
I'm pansexual,
which means I see
people for who they are
and I don't classify
as male or female.
[Erin] So you just
have more of an emotional
connection with people?
[Erin] Do people
understand that mostly or no?
I think mostly people are like
say the same thing like,
"Oh, bisexual" but it's
completely different
because if I classified
people as their gender,
they may not associate
with that gender.
It's all a matter
of how they feel
but I connect to people in
general, regardless of sex.
[Erin] So you don't
identify as bisexual?
[Erin] Ok, what's the
main difference between
pansexual and bisexual.
A pansexual is more of
emotional connections and
not classifying people
as male or female, just
accepting all people equal.
[Erin] So it would be more
like you're open to someone
even if they're transgender?
I consider myself
a straight woman.
[Erin] Ok and how about you?
I'm a transgender man.
And I identify as queer.
[Erin] Ok what does that mean,
like that term mean to you?
What queer means
to me is sort of ...
I'm just gonna be different.
I've dated men,
I've dated women.
I'm open to people of all
genders and sexuality.
Not any more that I'm with
the person that I want
to be with forever.
But yeah, I don't feel
that I can be defined.
I like the term queer
in that it's about
being different always.
I thought it showed
an impressive amount
of dedication to say, "Ok,
I'm going to ship a car."
That's pretty impressive.
So kudos on the stubbornness.
To be able to ship the car
I have to have an emergency
working brake and
my emergency brake
works about 70 percent.
We got parts ordered for you,
which we're installing
now, we're replacing some
rusted, corroded
brake cables and
brake calibers.
You're having something
done to your car
to prepare it to be
shipped to Hawaii
from San Diego I hear.
Getting my car fixed
today is almost $1200.
Fixing the emergency brake.
So that's happened.
I'm always getting
work done that's $25.
My spark plugs was $100.
Getting my front and back
lights was about 300.
I have an event with
Sunseeker GLBT Resort
and Maui Pride.
They've set up a screening
of the movie with the car
on May 10th and so when I
called to make the reservation
the woman said there's
really no guarantee
and there's no way of
getting a guarantee so the
car could actually not be there
in time and I know that they
they really want
the car to be there.
If the car's not gonna be there,
they're not sure if they
would wanna to do the event
without the car.
I'm feeling a lot of
pressure right now.
Just uneasiness of
kind of at the whim of,
I've never had to ship
my car before so this is
somewhat unsettling.
We're at San Diego
Vehicle Processing Center
(mumbles) to Hawaii.
doing an inspection
on your vehicle,
writing down any chips,
dents, scratches,
I'll check the interior
for dirt and soiling,
then we will take the vehicle,
put it on a transporter
and take it down to the ship.
If Erin called me from Hawaii
and told me that she wishes
that I was there with her,
I could not handle it.
I'd much rather
drive somewhere,
than drive 20 hours up there.
I fly sometimes but I really
get nauseous on a plane.
We're about to get on our
final plane for Hawaii.
While Erin was away,
I was obsessively looking
up with anticipation
of coming here on
Google Earth and
looking up all the
pictures and all around
and I knew instantly I was like,
"Erin, I want to live there."
My main concern with Hawaii
is making sure the car
actually gets shipped
there successfully.
We're walking to
pick up Erin's car.
We've already been
told be a couple people
we can't videotape here.
We have a nine
o'clock appointment.
It's about 10 after now.
We have a little bit
more of a walk to go.
Hopefully my car is here.
As soon as we came
into this gated area.
I just felt so
excited to see my car
and how colorful it was and
just in the parking lot.
I've had all this anxiety
not knowing if it was gonna
make it in time when they
told me there's no guarantees.
I felt like I just didn't
know what was gonna happen.
It's kind of surreal to see
your car here in Hawaii.
I feel really happy
that it's actually here.
[Sonya] Are you on the
verge of tears right now?
I don't know.
Kind of with so much
uncertainty with this and I know
I have plans, I have
an event tomorrow.
It was a lot of money
getting it here.
[Sonya] A lot of
pressure on you?
You almost thought
it wouldn't be here.
You were preparing
yourself for the worst?
We were just driving
along and there she is
in the fagbug pulling
out of the port,
covered with salt
spray I was like,
"Oh my God, there she is, I
can't believe it, she's here!"
I seen rainbow, at
first I thought was,
"Oh peace" and then when we
read it we were like, "What?!"
We were driving on the road.
I saw the fagbug and I
pretty much crashed our car
into the sign 'cause I was like,
"That's the fagbug!"
And I yelled it to my
coworkers and they didn't know
what I was talking about.
So I pulled over,
I was really excited to
see you here in Maui.
I've been following the
story for like six years.
(mumbles) and you put
it down at the doorways
I'm planning on going on
there soon, checking it out.
I mean I've seen a car
like this but not how
the paint job is
and stuff like that.
That makes it,
three thumbs up.
They thought they'd
bring this car over
so that they could drive it
while they're on vacation.
That's crazy!
I had nothing set up
in Hawaii or Alaska.
So I was trying to figure
out something to help
with the trip so I eventually
found this hotel is called
Maui Sunseeker GLBT Resort
So they're basically comp'ing
our room for five nights
in exchange for us
showing the movie.
I think that it's a
powerful message that needs
to be carried to all 50 states.
I want to join the
cause and contribute,
so here we are.
Erin had reached out
to me and asked about
coming to Maui and this
was part of her dream
to complete her tour and for
all of you that come from
the main land you know that
it takes a lot to get here.
And moving a car here
and all the headaches
that you deal with and
timing that to make sure that
we can have this date at this
theater at the same time.
It took quite a bit
of coordination.
I don't ever give
out my toy cars
because they're very
expensive to produce.
I really can't give them out but
because this is a
special opportunity,
once in a lifetime for
me to be here in Hawaii,
I'd love to give the couple ...
Who are the kids
in the audience?
Could you both come
up here real quick?
I just would love to give both
of the kids in the audience.
Thank you for your patience.
A lei is just a formal
exchange of aloha,
of greeting, of
affection, of welcoming.
It's just like a
little token and
there's a lot deeper meaning
obviously to the native
Hawaiians and so forth.
For the lei person, I'd
consider myself a lei person
and I'm not of Hawaii
ancestry or blood.
We use it as a token of a
gift of welcome, affection.
Say, "Hey, welcome to the
island, welcome to our home."
[Erin] What do you think
of the fagbug getting laid?
Do it, do it, yeah, yeah!
[Erin] Have you ever
given a lei to a car before?
I have never
leid a car before.
He's gotten laid in a car.
Just seeing the way the
people initially embraced us
and welcomed us and they
made a 20 foot long
lei for her car.
[Erin] Where did you
guys get the lei from?
[Bruce] We made it.
[Erin] You made it?
[Bruce] We bought all
the individual ones and we
put them altogether so
that we'd have the colors
of the rainbow flag for it.
[Erin] That's awesome,
thanks so much, that's so fun!
[Chuck] You're so welcome.
Welcome to Hawaii!
[Sonya] I just felt like it
was just culminating
right there.
It was just a special
moment that they
they prepared for us in
advance to share with them,
so that was really nice.
They got all this put together
and brought that out today.
That was my highlight
of the day today.
[Rudy] A lot of people use the
word pride almost as if it were
a badge of honor but really
when you think about it,
pride is a lot of times
the cause of shame and the
way out of shame is humility.
I've realized that
perhaps being more humble
and not as proud is really the
best way to get out of that
whole shameful situation.
Mahu is used as a
Hawaiian word for gay.
But a mahu meant
an effeminate male.
They were raised as not
particularly as a woman
but as an effeminate male.
But in the Hawaiian culture
they were actual medicine
people or consultants
to the king and queen.
They were revered as high
in the Hawaiian court.
But as time went on,
you'll hear people go,
"Oh mahu, you fucking mahu!"
That means basically,
it's faggot.
[Erin] When you were
younger and growing up,
do you remember
hearing people say,
fag and gay and
those kind of words?
I was playing a club called
the Rawhide in Los Angeles
and I found out all
the men were gay
but they looked like cowboys.
I thought it was just
a country western bar.
[Erin] So that's how
you first heard the word?
You didn't even
know gay existed?
I didn't until I
saw two men kissing.
[Erin] In 2006.
And I thought, "What the
crap is going on here?"
I didn't know!
I think in the fifth
grade there was a boy that
for whatever reason
people started to pick on,
and even though he had
been really popular.
Then they started
to pick on him.
I remember after school one
time everybody following him
and calling him a fag.
That still kind of obviously
bothers me to this day
that I sort of went
along with it all.
When I was a little
kid, I heard that word
getting tossed around a lot.
[Erin] How old were you?
I would say probably
around eight, nine.
I grew up in a rough life.
[Erin] Did anybody
ever say it to you?
Oh yeah, I've been called
(unclear) a million times.
But I love it, I'm a
fag, I'm proud to be one.
[Clayton] I'll give you
an example of something
that happened last night,
we were walking over to
the restaurant for dinner
and the two guys in front
of us were holding hands
and I'm like, "Oh gosh!"
I kind of walked
back a little bit.
I'm like, "Oh I don't want
them to think I'm gay too."
Because you can become a
victim of a crime, that easy.
[Erin] So you guys
don't walk around
holding hand hands together?
No definitely not!
And it always makes me
a little uncomfortable
being around other
gay people that do.
I don't really say anything
to them but it just makes me
feel uncomfortable because
I'm not very big and
I've had my own share of
being picked on all my life.
I got beat up a lot.
And it's nice now to
just be proud and out.
[Erin] Why do you
think some people,
especially in your
position as educators,
feel hesitant to come out?
Well it's dangerous,
it's super dangerous
'cause it could cost us our job.
But certain things you've
got to stand up for
and that was one of the
things I was willing to say,
"I'm gay and you're
going to fire me,
"then you got to fire me."
I have my masters in
education and I got certified
to teach K12 art.
In the process of getting
certified you have to do
two placements, one
at elementary level,
one in high school.
So I had the elementary
level placement first.
I was in a K through
eight school.
And in the first nine days
there were 39 antigay comments
made in the classrooms I was in.
And it came to a point where
it just had gotten so bad that I
finally just told the students,
"I'm gay and I'm not
gonna tolerate that
"in the classroom."
And within 48 hours I was
fired from my placement.
[Voiceover] I have an
eight year old boy who after
seeing her by the grocery
store wanted to know what
fag was and that
to me is an issue!
Sexual orientation,
especially in kindergarten
or first grade, shouldn't
be an idea or thought.
I used to work with kids for
eight years at churches and
one of the things one of the
pastors talked to me about
was working with kids and he
knew that I was a closet gay
and didn't want me to
have certain relationships
with the other boys
and I was like,
"Nothing's changing."
You have boundaries with
anybody that you work with
whatever you do, just because
you're gay doesn't change
the way you're gonna have
a relationship with a kid.
I showed him a
picture of the toy car
'cause a friend of ours has one
and he wanted a
rainbow car of his own.
We wanted one
because we like yours
and we just think
it's really cool.
It's something for him to
show his little friends
and perhaps help teach
other kids that everybody
should be treated equal.
There are some routes
that know me by name because
I've driven them
more than others.
I'm a substitute driver.
Most of the time the way the
conversation will happens is
they'll have conversations
among themselves.
Tallying up, giving me boy
points and girl points.
They'll talk about how,
"She sounds kind of like she's
a boy but there are all these
"other things about her that
are feminine" in so many words
then finally one or two
brave students will come up
and ask me if I'm a boy
or girl and I'll tell them
that's not the question
you should be asking.
The question you should be
asking is whether or not
you think I'm Ok to drive
this bus, whether or not
you think I can
transport you safely.
My aunt got a restraining
order against me
to keep me away from
my little cousins and
to basically keep me
from turning them gay.
I have three little cousins
who I love and adore.
They are like my
other little sisters.
We were really, really
close until then.
I also have a niece that
was like a daughter to me.
I helped raise her when
she was born, my sister's a
teenaged mother so the whole
family helped with that.
My niece was like my daughter
and it really killed me because
within the restraining order...
My whole family
lives within like
virtually a block
radius of each other.
So there is absolutely
no house on that block
that I could go to
that I wouldn't be
in violation of.
Not my parents house I
couldn't go over to anything.
Any family functions, I
could not see my grandma
who lives next
door to my parents,
my aunt who lives behind them.
We literally live in a
block radius of each other.
It was covered under
the protection that ...
And I'm not completely
sure how it was legit that
they got this order
but for some reason, the
safety of her children
was at stake because I was gay.
You guys have been
persecuted for so long.
Why shouldn't you be
allowed to educate people?
and what a great way to educate
people with a bug, the car,
kids would love it and
kids would understand
and I bet you bottom dollar
when you go in to those schools,
there are so many people
who have same parents
that they call
mommy/mommy or daddy/daddy
and people just don't know it.
I have two moms.
Sometimes I'll be in school,
I have a step mom also,
that's my dad's wife.
And they'll go around and
they'll say I have three dads.
It's Ok, it get's
annoying a little bit
but I try to get through it.
I'm on my school's
archery team
so my parents came
watch me compete.
And my friends were wondering
if my parents were there.
So I said, "Yeah my
parents are over there."
And they were like,
"Oh who are they?"
And I said, "Those are my moms."
And they were like, "Oh,
your step mom and your mom?"
And I said "No, they
are both my moms."
And they were like, "Oh!"
It can kind of be hard
because sometimes you do lose
friends or people
who you thought you
were friends with but
I guess they really
weren't your friends
in the first place if they don't
accept you and your family.
I called my mom up just
to see what she was doing
and I went to go
hang out with her.
So I come dressed up like how
I am, all manly and stuff.
And she doesn't like that.
And we were sitting on
the couch and she's all
far away and distant.
She just like, "Well I just
don't want you to hit on me!"
There's nothing I could of
said except for, "Hi mom."
I mean how does that
mean that I want to
[Erin] So you think maybe
because you like women
she just thinks in her
mind, just like how a lot
of people think, that
you're gonna hit on them?
Yeah, they think that gay
people don't have a type.
I think people do have a type.
You're my mom so of
course you're definitely
no way in hell gonna be my type.
There is no way in hell I
would find my mom attractive.
I could say my mom is
beautiful, that's different
but I'm not like,
"Damn, check out my mom!
"Look at her ass, it's so fine!"
No, I'm not gonna
do that to my mom.
I have a friend that
I grew up with that
he knew he was gay
when he was young.
Most of us kind of had the
idea but he came out the closet
when he was about 16 and
his parents
sent him on an LDS mission and
basically just told him that
if he didn't come back from
the mission and not be gay
he was gonna be cut
out of the will.
And very wealthy family,
[Erin] Did he go
on this mission?
He did go this mission,
he came back early
and didn't do the
whole two years.
And he came back
gay, imagine that.
I identify as gay.
[Erin] Oh you
do Ok, all right.
Did you come out when
you were younger?
No, it's still not
out really to family.
So if they see this,
hi, surprise, surprise!
[Erin] You found out
your son was gay recently?
Yeah, he came out
in January 2012 at 13,
which was about a
little over a year ago.
[Erin] How did he tell you?
Well we kind of discovered.
I was snooping
through his journal.
'Cause he left it out and I
was really worried about him.
He was becoming really,
really depressed
and I just had a
feeling to read it.
And he had put some
comments in there about
some boys that he
had found attractive.
And it completely threw me off.
I should have seen it coming,
knowing my son but I didn't.
So it was probably a
couple of weeks before ...
We would hint around and
we would say things like,
"If there was ever anything
that you wanted to tell us
"feel free to tell us and
we'll love you no matter what."
And he just didn't and he
didn't and finally my husband
just asked him and he just said,
"Jordan are you having
feelings of homosexuality?"
And at the time he was
kind of leaning against me
and I had my arm around him and
I could feel him start
to tremble and start to
shake, 'cause he was crying
and I could feel him nod
but I couldn't see his face
and my husband said he never
seen a kid look more terrified.
He's this little 13 year old
boy and I had had two weeks
to kind of prepare so there
wasn't the shock for me.
And I think that was
a big blessing for us
because I could just ...
At one point I put my
hands on his cheeks
and I made him look
at me and I said,
"This changes nothing for me.
"I love you 100 percent,
we will get through this.
"I'm so proud of you,
you're a great kid.
"We'll figure this out and
we're by your side 100 percent."
And we're LDS, we're Mormon.
I've come to find out lately
that that is not the normal
reaction for Mormon
families which
is so wrong and I can't
even believe that that's not
the normal reaction
because what else do you do
as a parent?
That's the most important
thing is you protect and you
support and help your
child when things are hard.
And I've loved him for 13
years and I didn't know
how to turn it off
and I didn't want to.
[Erin] Do you think your
feelings changed by a little bit
about it?
Oh, absolutely.
[Erin] Once you found
out your son was gay?
Absolutely, more tolerance.
Less of the
intolerance, the snickers,
more of, "Ok, I need
to open up a bit."
One of my friends
just came out.
He's really awesome.
He keeps getting
bullied (unclear).
I try to keep him from
getting bullied but
it doesn't happen.
[Erin] Have you had
people ever bully you or
[Erin] What do you
think bullying means?
I think it's not Ok
it's really hard
to explain because
I don't really think that
other people should bully other
people because that
would just not make sense
because we're all the same
in some way and so that would
be just like making fun
of yourself in a way
but not really and I think
it's just poopoo to do it.
It's not Ok.
[Erin] Poo poo?
Yes, it's poopoo.
(makes poop sound)
[Erin] How have people
bullied you in school?
I've been bullied
for my favorite color,
which is pink and
I've had two people
ask if I'm a girl.
I've had people call me gay.
A lot of bad stuff.
Starting kindergarten
just teased wearing clothes
we bought in the boys section,
blue and pink rugby shirt
and some kids are saying
boys don't wear pink and we
tried to talk to him about
what he could say, "Well
yeah, boys wear pink,
"'cause I'm a boy and
I'm wearing pink."
But it's hard right, and he's
got different preferences.
He started a Hollywood Club.
and he has a fake
eyelash collection.
He doesn't wear them in
school but he talks about it
or Audrey Hepburn but most
kids there embrace him
for who he is, it's just
been a few sour apples
who've chosen to pick on him.
He even got a concussion
at the hand of a boy
in first grade,
who intentionally hit him
in the head with a rock
and we're not sure what caused
it but it's the same boy
who this year is teasing him
and asking his if he's gay
or calling him, girly boy and
asking him if he's a girl.
I see an atrophy what
I thought we deserved
I'm feeling victimized
by the lies that were yours
Take back the sudsies
you brought to me
And take back your words
One of my best friends,
her name is Shaniya,
she had had suicidal
thoughts before.
And I stopped her
from doing that
'cause I told her that there
are other people that think that
and you're not the only one.
[Mikey] It started
in fourth grade.
There was a new kid in class and
we used to hang out
and then in sixth grade
it kind of changed 'cause
more people got there
and I started dressing like
I wanted to dress.
I wear skinny jeans, high tops.
People call me gay, I'm a fag
and it kind of messes with me
but I'm like, "You know what?
"Ok, It ends here!"
Maybe I am gay and I
probably won't know it
until I'm older, there's this
kid that wants to jump me
but one day, I told
him to please stop,
it's really getting on my nerves
and I please would
appreciate it, he said no.
So I kind of went on a
full rage and I said,
"Ok, if you're not gonna stop
"I will freak out on
the teachers, on you and
"the teacher will do something
about it 'cause I will
"make sure it will happen."
And he pushed me
down on the floor,
people were huddling me saying,
"You're a fag, you're a loser."
When it gets serious
and I have to report it
and they don't do
anything, I feel like
no ones helping me anymore.
People are just
ignoring you because
they're brushing you
off, like you're nothing.
I have suicidal
thoughts some times.
I don't want to but
I feel like it's the
only option for me.
High school was kind of like
an ignorant phase for me.
I would call people
faggot, I would people gay
and stuff like that.
Some times it was just like
jokingly, other times it was
being serious.
[Erin] How would you say it?
In like what context?
I knew this one kid, he
was a wrestler and he was
homosexual and I was like,
"I don't wanna wrestle you
because you're a faggot
"and you're gonna
feel me up and stuff."
It was like that and
I don't like talking
about it 'cause
it just really makes me
think of all the bad things
I said to people in my past
for being a little
bit different.
[Erin] We are basically
on a one lane road
and we're up so high this
is like the most scariest
road I've ever seen.
You have to keep
pulling over for
each person that's coming by.
it's really scary.
So now these people have to
back up just to let us pass.
[Sonya] Everybody's
just going slow
so you can get by.
[Erin] Thank you.
[Man] You're welcome.
[Sonya] All right, this
looks like a better road.
[Erin] How do you
define marriage?
What does marriage mean to you?
That's not a good
question for me.
I've been married four times.
One time you're allowed.
Two, you're kind of
dumb, three God help you.
Please don't let me do it again.
[Erin] Do you guys feel
like it should just be
between a man and a woman?
Or it should be for
anyone to get married?
Or what do you guys
think about marriage?
We have different
opinions about that.
I don't see a problem with it,
it's just the same.
[Erin] What's your opinion?
I don't think that it should
be a marriage considered
because it's based on the
bible and the bible says,
man and woman.
So i feel like you're pushing
the preacher to do something
that's going against
his religion, basically.
Everybody's argument is,
"Well marriage is a religious
thing" and blah, blah, blah.
And if it's not through religion
then it shouldn't be allowed.
Well, we should not have
allowed to be married then
because there was no
religion whatsoever, at all
in any of our ceremony.
This is a cultural issue.
And it's deeply
ingrained in us the idea
of how marriage should be.
The marriage should be
man and woman I think.
It's meant to have children
and you can always adopt
(mumbles) but you don't
populate or anything like that.
Gay people can't do that
obviously in terms of
having a baby.
Gay mentality is only one
sided, for that kid especially.
Artificially inseminated or not.
But then, it's done,
it's genetic now.
It's the thought process is
already there, it's inbred.
The unfortunate reality of
it is that you kind of need
that federal regulation but
hopefully that one day that
people just look beyond
sexuality and gender
as part of marriage
and just see it as
two people who are in love.
[Erin] So you
just got married?
About two weeks ago.
[Erin] Here, let me see
your rings, you guys both
have 'em on?
Don't ask.
[Erin] You don't wear yours?
Yeah, but don't ask.
I lost mine (mumbles).
The ocean sucked
it off his hand.
Apparently, it's
pretty common here.
We got married legally
married in Washington D.C.
April 10th, 2012?
2010 sounds good,
I think it was 2011.
Whenever they made
it legal we flew
We ran over there quickly.
And planned a quickie wedding.
It was like a shotgun
wedding, like I was pregnant.
I totally am into having the
government recognition and
then the legal aspect as well
but for myself personally
from here on in, it's
not my top choice to
do the paperwork.
When we received our
recorded marriage license
back from the county.
It came back in a manilla
envelope that wasn't damaged
but when we opened it
up, our marriage license
had been pretty much mutilated.
Ripped, holes punched
in it, torn up.
which clearly sent a message.
Whoever processed it,
the LA County saw it,
obviously wasn't happy
about our marriage.
[Erin] I was surprised to
hear that you guys are married
I'm gay and she's straight.
We married because we
needed medical insurance
and you can't get that
when you're not married.
Even though they do
consider you common law.
[Erin] How long have
you two been together?
[Both] Since '89.
Married in 95' so
almost married 20 years,
married 18 years.
[Erin] What's the key to
your marriage lasting as long?
We're friends.
[Erin] You guys ever seen
each other naked or no?
Hell no!
I mean she has only
because of her operation
and that type of
thing in the hospital.
I don't change in front of her
and she don't change
in front of me.
(stammers) sorry.
I like looking at women
don't get me wrong,
I admire, I'm an artist.
And I have no problem
looking at another man.
Sexually, I could care less.
[Erin] Isn't that hard for you
since you're attracted to men?
No, it's not hard for me.
"Scenery, aisle four!"
Man that is.
[Erin] So it wasn't just
like only an arrangement?
There is more to it but no
completely the relationship?
No sexual, that's it.
Everything else is the marriage.
And unfortunately, you already
know that in most cases
some marriages stop having sex
after the age of 50 anyway.
[Erin] What if it got
legalized in all 50 states,
would that change
your relationship?
Our relationship?
No because Gilbert has
had friends in the past,
male relations in the past.
And it didn't really matter.
[Erin] The relationships
you've had with men
just haven't been permanent,
like long lasting as
this relationship?
None of them were even
thinking about trying
to be serious.
And still in the respect, I
still wouldn't've done that
only because that's not
really what I wanted.
I wanted to try and fit in.
I remember in high school
being attracted to guys
and there was an article in
Time Magazine about that time
talking about two guys in
California that were gonna
get married and so there
way this whole sort of thing
about that and I remember
hiding in a closet
reading through
this magazine going,
"Really, that's possible?"
It's kind of like one of
those things I grew up knowing
that it wasn't something
that I would be able to do
and it makes you feel not
very valuable as a person
And I've just sort of
blocked that whole thought
from my mind.
If you want to get married,
I shouldn't have to fight
that battle for you,
that's your battle,
that's not my battle.
Nowadays, things are changing.
I can't hold any differences
between one or the other.
If a man wants to marry a man or
a woman wants to marry a woman,
I think it's all cool, that's
what America is all about.
Our journey is not
complete until our gay
brothers and sisters are
treated like anyone else
under the law for if we
are truly created equal
then surely the love we
commit to one another
must be equal as well.
Take a walk in the valley
Take a break from all
your cares and concerns
When I wanted to
ask Erin to marry me
I wanted to bring her
here to Boldt Castle.
on Heart island.
I thought it would be a
really romantic place,
she beat me to it.
She proposed a couple of
days before I was going to
but we had plans to
come to Boldt Castle anyways.
This is where I was
gonna propose to you.
Right here, my favorite
spot in this castle.
It's just so beautiful, I
have so many fond memories
I wanted to bring you here
and share them with you.
We met with this coordinator
right here on the island
and he was completely
discouraging and disdainful
of us getting married.
We went in the office and
asked about weddings in general
and he was like, "Oh, who's
getting married here?"
and I said, "We are.
And he was like, "Wow,
that's what I thought."
And we don't approve of that.
"This is a family place."
And pretty much right
off the bat it was a bad
first impression
for Erin because
I had said such good
things about this place
and spoke so highly
of it and then
pretty much instantly before
we even step foot in the castle
we have this guy being a
complete douche bag to us.
[Erin] Once we were denied
the right to get married
at the Boldt Castle, I did
a search online and decided
it just makes more sense
to look into states
that had already
legalized gay marriage
and Vermont popped up first.
I stumbled upon a place
called the Reluctant Panther.
We went there and
visited and Sonya and I
fell in love with it instantly.
I'll be still as (unclear)
Take my hand
I can be your
lantern in the dark
Lean on me for assurance
Don't let it go
this ship will row
But it won't fall apart
I got you
It's all about you
Something old something new
Something borrowed
something blue
Until I'm through
Something old something new
Something borrowed
something blue
Until I'm through
Erin, I'm so proud
of all that you've
accomplished in life
and all your fagbug
accomplishments in life
and adventures, the
start of your life
with a wonderful woman.
It's kind of weird but
you're a super sister
and an awesome aunt.
My kids really do adore you
and I love you very much.
[Erin] What was your
favorite part of the
weekend for the wedding?
I think it was
spending time with family
and the wedding happening.
And I really liked
going around Vermont
and seeing all the
stops and things.
[Erin] What do you guys think
of Sonya and I being married?
Why is it weird?
Because you guys
are both girls.
[Erin] And why do
you think that's weird?
Because it is.
[Erin] Who told you
that it was weird?
We did.
[Erin] Nobody?
Do you think that two
girls can be married?
Can two boys be married?
[Erin] Yeah, what do you
think of two boys being married?
No, no!
[Erin] No, why not?
[Erin] You don't know why?
Where did you learn that?
No, no, I just know it.
[Erin] You just know it?
And how old are you?
[Erin] You're five and
you just know it, huh?
[Erin] What would you say
to us about our husbands?
I asked where the
husbands are and you guys
told me you guys are married
so that's actually
really cool too.
Sonya and I were
thinking of getting
wedding band tattoos
while we were here.
Tattoo your face.
[Erin] The guy's
name is Desmond
No way.
Why, make a statement
man, that's the only way.
You don't see any tattoos on
my body or anything like that
yet it's all clean.
[Erin] you don't usually
wear your wedding ring?
Yeah, I hardly wear it.
Well I took it off today because
I had to go through TSA but
even when I'm at
work I don't wear it
because it just
gets in the way so
I'm actually thinking
about the same thing.
[Erin] So I see you
have a lot of tattoos,
did you get those
done in Hawaii?
Yeah, all mine
are done in Hawaii.
[Erin] Are tattoos
pretty popular there?
Some what, I mean yeah but
most of them just
have meanings to them.
It's only pain for love
It's only pain for love
Only pain for love dear
Only pain for love dear
It's only pain for love
It's only pain for love
Only pain for love dear
Only pain for love dear
I've got the key,
got it in my pocket
and everything, all
the paperwork's set.
Everything is good so
we travel on with the
journey and take the car
to the next location.
Why don't you
leave the car here?
I don't mind
driving that around.
I'll get a blast.
I don't ever want
to go back to work.
I don't want to ever
have normal jobs.
I just want to move to
Maui and sell our art
and make it here.
[Erin] My wife's saying that
she wants to move here now.
Oh right on!
When'd you girls get married?
[Erin] A year and a
half ago in Vermont.
[Erin] Thank you.
Maui absolutely needed this.
We have a great gay, lesbian,
bisexual, transgendered
community over here and over
the past couple of years
it's really started to coalesce.
So to have you come
here, raising awareness
for gay rights is so
important for Maui.
Don't give up the fight
Love is gone bite
Love is gonna reign
We've got to sacrifice here
Every single night
Looking for a dream
We'll build it every time
The heart is gonna beat
[Erin] This trip I have
four events and I'm driving.
Drive to Alaska back home out
of 20 days I'm on the road
I only have four events
the rest is driving.
So I brought Hoosick
with me on this trip.
[Voiceover] He's
a cute little guy.
And you know if he goes
missing, I didn't take him.
[Erin] So I'm
right outside where
my car's getting
shipped, I'm at the port.
It seems like the company
that handled my shipping
didn't put it on the right
boat because they said that
the cars coming in from Hawaii,
they come in once a week.
So obviously my
car didn't get on
the right shipment
leaving Hawaii.
USDA doesn't come and
they're located about a half
hour away, they don't come.
They only come on Tuesdays
so asking them to come
when they usually come
and check all the cars.
So like tons of cars
they check in one day
that they're not gonna
want to come here,
half hour away just
to check one car.
They take a glove they
go underneath your wheel
where your tire is and if
there's any dirt on the glove
your car gets held for
another day or two,
which will be going into
Wednesday, Thursday.
So if I don't get my car
until Thursday and I have an
event Saturday
night in Anchorage,
which is 45 hours away,
I'm definitely not
gonna make it in time.
I just got a text
message from my mom
asking if I made it to Oregon
Ok, if I was still in Oregon
and she asked when I'm
beginning to drive to Alaska
and just add or did
you change your mind?
Yeah, I feel like I just
came too far to just go home
without doing it,
you know what I mean?
Just waiting here for
a week for a few days,
I wouldn't wanna
just, I don't know.
I have to figure something out.
So in response to a
Facebook update that I posted.
I posted there was no delay
on the boat coming over here
the car just didn't get
on the ship in time,
it got on a week late.
So in response to that,
this person named
Ray wrote and said,
"Have you considered
that maybe this mess
"is the universe's way
of letting you know
"that it's perhaps not an
altogether bright idea to take
"a sometimes unreliable
vehicle on a 45 hour
"drive up to Alaska.
"Having car trouble when
you'll be traveling isn't like
"anything you've had
to deal with elsewhere
"in the country.
"I just don't have
a good feeling about
this leg of things.
"Not on the tail end of all the
recent car troubles you've had."
I've opened my refrigerator
500 times ("Bored" by Astrogin)
I keep on hoping but
there's nothing inside
I'm checking my messages
Every five or 10 minutes
Searching my mind but
there's nothing in it
Well I'm bored
Out of my mind
I'll be crazy in good time
Today is Saturday and I'm
just stuck waiting in Tacoma
Washington, today is Sunday
and I'm still waiting
waiting it out.
Today is Monday, I'm still
waiting in Tacoma Washington
I should be getting a
call in about 10 minutes
from the port, just
with an update.
The road is clear now I
see all the way ("My Luck
Today" by Los Blancos)
And all the lights are green
And everybody's out my way
Oh I can't believe
my luck today
And Oh I can't
believe my luck today
I know it's something that
she's got her mind set to do
and I'm proud of her and
it's kind of nerve
wrecking worrying about her
but I hope everything
works out well,
especially this trip to Alaska.
I always just use
my GPS for traveling.
I'm really horrible
at reading maps.
I've been to Canada and used it.
I assumed that Alaska
will be in the GPS.
And I just went
to type in Alaska
and three states came up for A,
Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas.
So Alaska is not showing
up on my GPS which presents
a little problem.
Do you know how to
get there from here?
Yeah, you get on the
freeway and go north.
[Erin] Go north?
[Erin] And what freeway?
High Five.
[Erin] How far away is that?
50 kilometers, 30 miles.
The intersection up top there,
you should have turned right.
And you probably
went straight down
and came down on
this street here.
[Erin] Any advice
for getting to Alaska?
If you see a sign that
says, "Bump", you better
slow down for it or it
might cost you some money.
Have fun, what
else can you do?
Don't pick up strangers.
[Erin] Do a lot of people
come through here for gas?
[Voiceover] Yes,
there is a lot.
[Erin] A lot of truck drivers?
[Voiceover] Not
Americans to Alaska.
[Erin] Are there a lot
of gas stations on the way?
Well, when you see one
you better stop and gas up.
So far I have kept my gas tank
three quarters of a tank
full at all times or higher.
So every time I'm getting down
to three quarters of a tank,
I'm filling up.
If you could see me now
("Ghost" by Envoi)
You would take back
all the things that
You never said to me
How I tried to
make you love me
But how can you
Love a ghost
Love a ghost of
what was meant to be
You'll never know
How much I loved you
[Erin] So if one
of you had to go
would you guys stay
with each other
if it was like two months?
I can't sleep without him.
His snoring puts me to sleep.
And I don't think he sleeps
very well without me either.
[Erin] That's really
sweet, how about you?
If she had to go for
like work or something
for like a month
or two would you
[Kerry] leave me behind?
Heck no!
(laughs) He'd miss this!
One of the great things
about her and one of the
things about her that
sometimes is a set back is
that she is very
trusting and very honest.
So meeting so many
different people,
so many different places she
tends to put herself in a
very vulnerable situation
[Erin] Would you ever
drive a car like this?
It's better than walking.
(laughs) Beggars
can't be choosers.
Over the past three
and a half years,
I've seen her be a little bit
more keen with her judgment
and have a little bit better
discernment about people
that she interacts with.
So I have something
to tell you.
You're not gonna be
happy about it but
I don't know, I just
have to tell you.
So I was driving along
after I talked to you and
there was this guy
like basically our age
that was hitchhiking and I
ended up giving him a ride.
Well, he's fine, he's in
the car with me right now
so I just wanted to tell
you but he's actually fine.
[Nathan] Hello!
No, I know you would be upset
but I just wanted to let
you know but it's fine
he's just like going
a certain distance
and I'm dropping
him off on my way.
He was hitchhiking
a lot of hours.
[Nathan] You're in trouble.
[Erin] So you have
some maps right?
I sure do.
[Erin] Can you show
me on your map again
where I'm going?
[Nathan] You're going
to be going up the Alaska
Highway here
and you're going to
be going past 101
through Pink Mountain
and all the way up there
and this is Alaska.
[Erin] I'm on the
right track so far?
Sure, that I know of.
Your dog seems to be very
affectionate to me, yeah.
[Erin] Do you like him?
It's quiet and cute.
That's just a little guy.
You want me to go
out and on the road?
[Erin] No, that's Ok.
[Nathan] We can
document what not to do.
I got a knife and if I got
to fight a bear, I got to.
You do what you got
to do, there's no
point in being afraid.
We're looking at a bunch of
sheep in the middle of a ditch,
that's very random.
[Erin] Have you ever
seen this on any of your?
Nope, I have not seen
the sheep in the ditch yet
on my nine travels
back and forth.
[Erin] Well hopefully
they'll be Ok out here.
[Nathan] Yeah, with that bear
that we just saw.
He might be having the
lamb chops I think.
I'm in a senseless
struggle for security
Ignorance is a song
I don't wanna sing
I wonder how they ever let
this pass the eyes of everybody
I'm taking back (unclear)
I'm calling you out
just remember that
To get to them you have to
Get through me
Feeling's the same
Making you lame
Hope we can be their voice
Thanks for picking me up.
You're welcome, keep
in touch on Facebook Ok?
I will.
Send me a friend
request, I'll accept it.
Thanks for the map.
No problem.
[Erin] Very helpful.
All right, good luck.
Have a safe trip.
Ok, you too.
[Erin] You're Ok giving
him a ride from here?
Sure thing.
[Erin] Do you guys trust
giving people a rides here?
Do you think it's
pretty friendly?
I think he's
fine, looks alright.
I think we're pretty good.
We've got two guys so I
think we're all right.
[Erin] Nothing to worry about?
We're pretty safe out up here.
Plus we've got guns
in the truck so.
Sorry (laughs).
[Erin] Guns in the truck?
[Erin] Really?
Oh yeah.
[Voiceover] In bear country.
We're in bear
country, big bears too.
The guy that just went in
there seen a 600 pound bear
there yesterday.
[Erin] How do you
feel about the bear?
I would just go in my
dad's room and grab the gun.
And I'll just sit on the
couch with the gun in my hand.
[Erin] So you're just hanging
out at this pub over here?
[Cole] Yeah, at
this strip club yeah.
[Erin] All right, having a
couple of drinks
with your friends?
One or two.
[Erin] Ok, and then I
was about to get in my car
and what did you say?
I said, "Hey what's up,
that's you in the fagbug?"
[Erin] And you said
you wanted to be friends?
[Erin] What made you want
to come over and talk to me?
'Cause you're fucking hot
and I wanted you to come
and have a drink with me.
Why the fuck not?
[Erin] Do you
have a girlfriend?
[Erin] Why you talking
to me like that then?
I don't know, it's
wrong, whatever.
It doesn't matter.
Do I care, you're a lesbian
anyways, don't worry about it.
[Erin] Hey I know
you're nearly sleep so
I'm just going to be
going to get a hotel now.
Whoa whoa
Whoa whoa
Whoa whoa
I always appreciate it when
people go out to
go out of their element
to educate others.
[Erin] The roads
are Ok this way?
You'll run into a
bunch of frosties.
[Erin] What is it?
[Darcy] Frosties.
[Erin] What's that?
[Darcy] A bunch of
bumps in the road.
Why you always
kicking up the sand
Always kicking up the sand
Man you're angry and
it makes my eyes hurt
Why you always
kicking up the sand
Kicking up the sand
You block your (unclear)
So the sunbeams miss it
Right here in
black spray paint
right on the edge
of the overlook
somebody wrote,
"Fuck you faggot".
Is that not what I was
expecting to see when I pull
over here for a second.
We saw another one with
a big penis on a rock wall
and we were kinda trying
to figure that out as well.
I've never in my entire
life seen a body of water
this bright green and blue.
We have seen a lot of bears
and we have seen also
grizzly near Jasper.
It was six meters far away.
But I don't go out the car.
Only we have make
photos from the car.
Even think about
going to the bathroom
I never even thought of
that as a concern but
like you have to really
go to the bathroom
and there was nowhere to go.
I had to go on the
side of the road twice.
So I was on the main Alaskan
highway and I pulled off
to go to the bathroom
somewhere outside.
But once I pulled off
onto this dirt road,
I saw there were actually two
unexpected outhouses here.
And somebody that must have
seen my car on the highway
followed me in here and
so I was just going to go
into the outhouse but they
just drove back and forth
a couple times and I didn't
know if they worked here
or what they were doing
and finally they just took
a picture so see,
even in the middle of
the Yukon, I have no
privacy just because I'm
driving my car.
Time is going by very fast
and miles are going
by very slowly.
I still have no cell reception
so I'd like to figure out
if I'll ever have it.
If I can get to a place
that has reception
so I can at least
send an update.
I'm probably gonna figure
out where I'm staying
so when I get to the city,
somewhere that has
a place to stay,
I don't want to be
driving too late at night
or otherwise Hoosick
and I will just be stuck
sleeping in the car.
On this road basically
nobody leaves anybody stranded.
So if you broke
down on this road
you could flag down a car
[Erin] Somebody would
stop and help you?
[Erin] That car
way ahead of me,
I pulled over for a second
and they was passing me.
I waved to them to see
if they would stop but
it was a woman driving,
she looked right at me
and didn't stop.
There's a tractor trailer
coming maybe I'll see if they
can give me some help here.
Ok so I tried flashing
the tractor trailer down
and they didn't stop either.
Flashed my lights and
they didn't stop.
I just saw another sign
for Contact Creek Lodge
and I see it here on my left.
Doesn't look like it's open.
I'm gonna stop and see.
This place has there
business hours are from
seven AM to nine PM.
It's only 9:15 so I just
missed it by 15 minutes.
I'm sure Sonya is panicking and
completely distressed right now.
And I have no way
of calling her.
Just leaving
this hotel that is not open
and there is a bear
walking across the street.
Obviously that doesn't
make me feel good knowing
bears are gonna be
coming up to my car.
So I don't know what to do.
I'm gonna drive to the next
place to see if there's a hotel.
I just want to pick you up
Pick you up and run you off
But there all
All that's (unclear)
I just woke up it's right before
six o'clock in the morning
so I got four hours of sleep.
From what I heard I have
about an 18 hour drive today.
I have a little less than
three quarters tank in my
gas tank, so I'm gonna
fill up right here.
So like a total idiot I
was getting gas and then
talking to some
people next to me
and I drove off and
completely forgot the ...
I didn't put the gas thing back.
I drove off with it
still attached to my car,
The guy in the white
truck behind me
told me, I asked
him what should I do
since I just did that
and he said go to the
Three Bears grocery store up
the street and let them know.
I think you're really
encouraging people to use
a really bad word by using
that on your car and you're
progay, lesbian, whatever
you got to get that off there.
Well if they start
calling you a fag
you'd know you want to
know what that means.
There's no other definition
for fag that I know of
then being
I guess gay or
not being normal.
If you know that my
weakness is being gay
then, which I'm not, but
I'm just saying if you did
then you know that's my
weakness and you keep
messing with me I'm
finna find out what your
weakness is and I'm
finna fuck with you!
One thing I'm
really happy about is
the fact that my car hasn't
had any mechanical problems.
I'm very thankful that
the good 'ole fagbug is
pushing through and so far,
holding up like a champ.
If you break down,
I don't know how they'd do it,
obviously you'll have
it fixed somehow.
But it's a very
difficult situation.
I guess if I'm gonna break
down, I'll have a pretty view.
My wheels really
tight right now.
It needs to be filled up.
It must be out of fluid.
I got out and checked
the power steering
for my car, just to see
what's going on with it and
I just filled it up less
than 20 minutes ago.
and I just checked it,
it was completely empty.
I filled it all the
way up to the top so
(mumbles) it's been
leaking but it's obviously
something more
severe has happened.
The parts of the lines is
over $500 so it's something
I've been putting off just
because they said you can
keep filling it up and
for the last year or two,
that's been working so
what a time for something
further to develop with that.
Trying to turn around,
let's see how difficult
it is to turnaround with
my wheel like this,
my steering wheel,
It's not going to be easy.
We're gonna get there Hoosick,
we're gonna get there.
Tell me you don't know why
You can't fall asleep at night
Everything looks just fine
But you're in need of a life
There's a dog on the side of
my car that won't let me go.
Every time I try to go he's
running in front of my car.
He's not letting me leave.
I gotta go and I feel
like I'm gonna hit him.
I'm sorry dog, gotta go.
You can't keep up with my car.
You're a car, you're a dog.
I gotta go, go away.
Far away from here and we run
Far away from here
And we ran far away from here
Say that you're out of line
Fall a bit short this time
Who knows if
you're wrong or right
But you're in need of a life
And we ran
Far away from here
And we ran
Far away from here
And we ran
Far away from here
And we ran
Now traffic has stopped
in the middle of nowhere.
There's a makeshift stop light
and I'm guessing there's some
kind of construction ahead but
I've been sitting here
for over five minutes now.
We got another truck
coming so I hope these
dumpsters load and we'll be
able to go in a few minutes.
About 100 cars have
passed me on this trip.
There's finally a car
ahead of me that's going
way slower than I'm driving
so first car I'll be passing
on this entire trip.
Where are we now?
[Voiceover] Almost into
the border of Alaska.
[Erin] Where are
you guys coming from?
[Voiceover] New Mexico.
[Erin] Oh really and
you wanted to come over
and take a picture
of my car, how come?
[Both] 'Cause,
we're supportive.
(mumbles) I made it to
the border for Alaska.
Finally, we're here.
Been something I've been
wanting to do for six years.
The fact that you've
made it to the 50th state
is pretty incredible.
All 50 states and you went a
long way to get to this one.
I mean, it is an epic
drive to make it.
And you know it's well worth the
credit that you
get for doing it.
[Erin] So you think
for my 50th state it's,
with my car, you think it's
a good thing that I did that
as a finale kind of thing?
Oh, I think you
earned your badge.
Coming up to Alaska, yeah!
[Erin] The car has taught
me a lot about myself
and my own strengths,
my capabilities
and people told
me my whole life,
certain things in
my innate nature,
that I was crazy or messed
up and I've lived a lot of
my life questioning
myself, unsure of myself
and not that confident.
This project really
made me realize that
all those things that
I've had all these years
weren't weaknesses, they
were always strengths
and it just makes everything
about me that so much crazier,
off the kilter, out of
the box, it takes all that
packs it up in a package and
makes it look really good.
[Voiceover] The one,
the only fagbug right here
from the streets of New York.
Come on give her some love!
Took me 90 hours to
get here from Seattle
driving nonstop over five
days on 15 hours of sleep.
(whoots and applause)
So I just got here at
five in the morning.
I told her personally
that I think she should
just keep on going
because frankly, the
message it never stalls.
What you're doing with
driving around with this
word on your car is that
you're changing the social
atmosphere and it'll
never be the same again.
Well I mean after
seeing what you're doing
and obviously meeting
you and getting to take
pictures with your car,
I don't ever wanna say
fag or somebody's gay,
I don't wanna say that again.
I went out to my car to get
my bags after checking in.
Saw there was a note on the
car once I started driving
away I was heading
to the bank and
pulled over and got
the note, it says,
"Thank you so much
for what you just did.
"You're probably wondering
what exactly it is you did.
"Being extremely depressed,
I was about to go here
"and cry my eyes, I
would hurt myself.
"But instead I saw your
car and it made me smile.
"That was a little ray of
sunshine on my cloudy day.
"Thank you" with a heart.
When somebody else
actually writes you a note
and says, I was
gonna hurt myself and
your car being here basically
helped me not do that,
I think that's one of the
best ones that you can get.
[Erin] Do you
think I should just
keep driving this car forever?
Would you want to like
give it up at some point?
No, I think you
should, why not?
It get's peoples attention,
it certainly got mine.
Well, I think there's
gonna come a point where
the project is done and
there's a point in which
the work is done and
it's time to just say,
"Ok, I've done
everything I can do and
"now it's time to move
on to the next thing."
And there's something about
leaving at the right time.
So I hope, that you'll now
what that right time is
and then all that stuff
can come off the car
and you can start being Erin
the artist, the teacher.
I think what really
happens with those of us who
and I'm including you in
that, those of us who feel
the activist call,
sometimes there's no
rest for us because
we sometimes feel if
we lay that burden down
then no one else
maybe will take it up.
At this point I feel like
there's all these weird things
like people keep pressuring
me to make a decision
and I would probably
say at this point,
if I could just say something
like a line to my car
and maybe I would just say,
I don't wanna let you go.
It's really nice to plan
some things and things
obviously don't go the
way you plan but then
to actually get to that
end point and look back
at everything you had to
go through to get there and
you feel accomplished for
getting through all those
ups and downs and making it
to that place you
wanted to get to.
You're gay ("PS Gay Car"
by Fortress Of Attitude)
Your car is gay
But most especially
Your parking job is gay
I don't disapprove
Just inconsiderate assholes
Who don't think
outside of their own
Selfish existence
Could you imagine John Lennon
Two parking spaces
PS gay car
PS gay car
PS gay car, PS
gay car, PS gay car
Just inconsiderate
assholes who don't
Think outside of their own
Selfish existence could
you imagine John Lennon
Two parking spaces
PS gay car, PS gay car
PS gay car, PS gay car
PS gay car
We got a nice note
once he it goes.
Dear sir or madam
You are well past
the edge of the curb
And therefore you're
blocking the driveway
Your consideration in
parking between the curbs
Would be very appreciated
Very appreciated
Very appreciated
PS gay car
PS gay car
PS gay car, PS
gay car, PS gay car
You're gay
Your car is gay
But most especially
Your parking job is gay
I don't disapprove
Just inconsiderate assholes
Who don't think
outside of their own
Selfish existence
Could you imagine John Lennon
Two parking spaces
PS gay car
PS gay car
PS gay car, PS
gay car, PS gay car
PS gay car, PS
gay car, PS gay car
PS gay car, PS
gay car, PS gay car
PS gay car, PS
gay car, PS gay car
PS gay car, PS
gay car, PS gay car
PS gay car
We're in Maui right
now on vacation.
We're taking a week away from
everything nasty
that's going on in life
and just being with
Chuck and the guys here
at the Maui Sunseeker.
I used to work with Chuck
and then he came here fulltime
and he's always
wanted us to come
so Mikey and I took
time to be here
and we're just having
the most wonderful time.
Chuck and the staff
are spoiling us rotten
and it's perfect.
We've been fighting
for a marriage equality
for a long time and
it is getting better and
it's one of those places
that I think more visibility
makes things better
'cause people start
talking about it.
When people don't talk about it,
it creates fear.
I'll pick you up on
my shoulder ("Into the
Woods" by Andrew Halliday)
And run you off into the woods
Into the woods
Into the woods