I believe in America.
I believe in the American dream.
I believe in
the American way of life,
...that every American should have
an honest job, a family...
And a home
to call their own.
And two, two cars in
every garage, you betcha.
What does this car do
for 100 grand?
Play with your nuts
while you drive?
That would beat the shit
out of cruise control.
Anybody that would drop 100 grand
on a car deserves to get it stolen,
- then the shit kicked out of 'em. Hey, I'm driving.
- Hell, no.
- What are you talking about, no?
- 'Cause you drive like that kid Corky from Life Goes On.
Well, you drive
like a goddamn maniac.
Why don't you yell louder?
I don't think you woke anybody up yet.
You're wrong.
Uh-oh.
# Jump me
Let me take you back in time #
See the size
of that guy's gun?
That was a big gun.
- Hey, what's wrong with you?
You said the guy wasn't home.
- Uh-oh, we got company.
- Aw, shit!
# On the brink with my. 357 #
# The tab on your drink
Boom, boom, went to heaven #
# Move over on the right
Feels so dang heavy #
Don't let 'im kill me, man!
I got shit to do tomorrow!
Aw, no!
Watch it!
All right, all right. People.
Shit!
We didn't hit 'em.
We didn't.
Okay, you happy?
You messed with me.
Why are we parked
in front of a police station?
Yo, officer!
Excuse me.
You smoke crack tonight?
- Shh, it's gonna be fine.
- Yeah?
Could you help a brother out?
We tryin' to get to Disneyland.
The two of you are
on your way to Disneyland?
Yeah, this
is my retarded friend.
He's from, uh,
Arkansas or somewhere,
and he wants to go
to Disneyland.
Right, you wanna go
to Disneyland, man?
- Disneyland.
- See, Disneyland?
Where? I love the way he says Dis...
Say that again.
Disneyland.
He loves Disneyland,
so that's where we tryin' to go.
All right,
go east on 10.
When you get to the 5,
you go south to Anaheim.
Signs all over the place.
Signs all over the place.
So the cop, man, not only was he stupid,
he gave us directions.
- That man drew us a map to this place.
- Yeah, he got me.
But you do that again,
I swear to God...
Hi, Mimi. I got it.
Let's see.
You can get drinks
for everybody, okay?
Thanks, Archie.
To the Rock and Archie Show.
You know that. Yo, man, there's
somethin' I ain't understandin' here.
Everything we get, we split
down the middle, right?
Of course we do.
We're partners.
So tell me this, partner. Why your
bankroll always fatter than mine?
You got money problems
or something?
I mean, well, it ain't no shit
I can't handle. You know, a little...
Well, whatever's mine is yours.
You know that.
Yeah, I know that.
Ooh, I like that.
Easy, lover boy.
- Any woman that fine got to have a man somewhere.
- So?
"So"? So you fight like Peter McNealy.
You wanna get your ass whooped again?
That's the beauty of havin' you
around, man. You got my back.
You hope.
- What?
- What do you mean, what?
- I heard you calling me over here.
- I didn't call you over here.
My friend told me you called me
over here to make out with me.
- He said you said that.
- Are you kidding?
What? He's the one
who said it. I will if...
What's up?
What the fuck do you
think you're doin'?
Shit.
I know, uh, it looks like I was
hittin' on your girlfriend here.
But, uh... in actuality,
I was fuckin' hittin' on her
harder than you think, motherfucker.
So why don't you
step the fuck back...
before I bitch-slap
your fuckin' hiney?
I'm gonna kill you.
Hey, my man,
is there a problem here?
Yeah, there's a problem. Fuckin'
snatchface is a fuckin' problem, man!
- Archie, chill!
- Motherfucker! I'll bite your fuckin' ear off!
- Arch, chill.
- I'm tryin' to chill, man. Daddy dipshit won't let me.
He's drivin' me nuts with them fuckin'
crazy eyes and that armpit stench!
Okay, okay, okay. Apparently
you all got some shit to work out.
No, no, no, no, no.
We worked this shit out.
I'm glad we worked
this shit out, man.
Let me buy you a drink.
You buy me...
Kick him in the balls.
Kick him in the balls.
Now it's on, motherfucker.
Now it's on!
- Keats!
- Man, not like that.
- So what's up?
- Like this.
Ooh, that's
the old school shit.
Honey!
Oh, muffin!
- Oh, honey, okay.
How's your twinkie, huh?
Yo, man, what kind of
nasty-ass meat is that you're eatin'?
Look like some shit outta
Jeffrey Dahmer's refrigerator.
Thanks, man.
All right, thank you.
All right.
Let me tell you somethin'.
I do got some shit goin' on.
You know, that car stealin' shit
we've been doin', that's fine.
I have a good time doin'
that with you, but I...
My serious income's
comin' from this guy, Keats.
I'm tellin' you, he is
the biggest drug lord in the west.
- The biggest.
- Get outta here.
You know, Ron, of all your
inventions, this is probably the one...
My mother just started
using that stuff; it works.
And two, two cars
in every garage.
Check it out.
There's the man himself.
Come on down to Colton Motors.
Fetch your piece of that American dream.
What do you do
for the car guy?
I'm the point man.
I set up drops and meet the shipments.
All I gotta do is make sure
Mr. Colton is happy.
Well, if he's as large as you say he is,
then he's got to be happy.
I've been thinking about this shit,
and... You need money...
Basically, you're the only guy
I've ever trusted in my entire life.
So I was thinking I could talk
to Mr. Colton about bringin' you in.
But yo, I'm just
a petty car thief, man.
You're talkin' some
all industrial-type shit.
I swear to you,
it's very, very easy.
It's easy, huh?
Are you in or what?
I trust you, man.
Put me down.
You're doin'
the right thing.
You're doin'
the right thing.
- All right, Mo, you want a ride?
- No, man, I'll walk it.
- You sure?
- I ain't gonna drive with you if I don't have to.
- All right, man. Keep it real, son.
- All right.
- Police. Freeze!
- Hey!
The party's over, Jack. If you move,
I'll blow your goddamn brains out.
You're breakin' my arm,
Miles Davis.
- You fuckin' pussy!
- Hey, relax.
What are you and the black in the hat
doin' followin' me around anyway?
We was just
in the neighborhood.
Did you have fun
at Disneyland?
Here he is, Captain.
Anybody ever tell you
you look like a struck match?
What's the word, Rock, Jack,
whatever your name is?
The word is, El Capitan,
this last year of my life
is about to pay itself off.
What're you tellin' me?
What I'm tellin' you is, Archie Moses
is taking me to meet the man.
And finally,
Frank Colton is goin' down.
Congratulations, Jack.
You bring down Colton,
it's gonna make your career.
Hey, man, I don't even
care about that.
All I care about is puttin' that scumbag
behind bars where he belongs.
There's a shipment comin' into San Pedro
next week. It's supposed to be huge.
When do you meet
with Colton?
Moses gonna
introduce me tomorrow.
- You're gonna wear a wire.
- I don't know.
Jack, it's a good idea
to wear a wire.
I'll sleep on it.
Disneyland.
What?
Nothing.
Just something Archie did.
He's crazy.
What, are you gettin'
sweet on this guy?
- No.
- Let me tell you something.
You pal around
with somebody long enough,
you forget
he's the bad guy.
So why don't you tell me about
your damn self, Mr. Keats?
Well, the truth is,
there ain't much to say.
I mean, you know, I did some time
up north for breaking and entering,
a little armed robbery,
petty shit like that.
Well, what about references?
Do you trust this man, Moses?
Mr. Colton, I trust
this guy with my life.
That's good, that's good.
I mean, because trust is a very
important commodity in business.
True that.
True that!
True that, true that.
And I wanna tell you who I trust.
I trust Moses here.
Thank you.
And I trust my colleague,
Mr. Bledsoe.
But most importantly, Mr. Keats,
I wanna tell you who I don't trust.
- I don't trust you.
- Yo!
Hey!
See, I don't trust you
'cause, hell, I don't know you.
- Search him.
- This is bullshit. I don't wanna search him.
You search him,
not 'cause you want to,
but because you have to,
you understand?
Jesus!
Mo, this is like
some embarrassing shit, man.
I know this guy
like I know myself.
If he's a cop, I'll suck
your dick, Mr. Colton.
Jesus, I'm sorry, bro.
See, no wires!
Well, hell, search him.
Nothin'.
Well, fine. If you don't ask, you
never know. You know what I'm saying?
Now remember, nobody moves
until Jack gives us the word...
that Colton is on the premises.
- Understood?
- Listen, Cap.
Yes, Jack?
- I wanna be the one to bring Archie in.
- What?
There's gonna be a lot of testosterone
flyin' around here today.
I don't want any of these overzealous
assholes puttin' any dents in Archie.
I knew it. You are sweet
on the son of a bitch.
- Look, I know him. He's not that bad...
- He's a low-life scumbag.
All right, then he's my low-life
scumbag, okay? And who knows?
After this is over, maybe I can
help him get his life back together.
You look tense, man. Relax.
It's gonna be all right.
Relax. It's just a nice
little friendly doggy.
How you doin', buddy?
Long time no see.
Oh, you like that, huh?
See that? He loves me.
No, he just licked his balls, and now he's
tryin' to get that nasty taste outta his mouth.
Hey, ese, don't shoot.
It's me.
How're you guys doin'?
Colton didn't say nothing
about no new guy.
All right, Rigo,
meet Rock Keats, mi amigo.
Yo, what's up?
Cmo est, ustedes?
What is it about you, man?
Nobody likes you except me.
What you see right there
is 100%% uncut, grade-A heroin.
Yo, where's
your boy, Colton?
Don't worry. He's gonna be here
to check up on my shit.
# Get funky #
# Get funky #
# Get funky #
# Get funky #
# Get funky #
# Get funky #
Let's go. Up, up, up.
Come on, good job.
A little quicker, fellows.
Let's go.
What do you keep
lookin' around for?
Yo, you better back up off me, son.
What's your problem?
What the fuck you lookin' for?
That's my problem!
- Hey, hey, relax, man.
- You better tell Tattoo here somethin'.
This fuckin' maricn
is makin' me nervous.
He acts like a cop.
Well, he's not a cop.
He's my friend, so take it down.
- I don't know that.
- You think he's a cop?
Well, goddamn it, he's not a cop!
Take a look. Satisfied, scumbag?
You fuckin' piece of shit!
- We move now.
- What about Colton?
To hell with Colton!
Move! Everybody, move!
Archie Moses,
you're under arrest.
You better be
messin' around.
- You have the right to remain silent.
- You were like my fucking brother!
- Anything you say can be used against...
- How can you do this to me?
Moses, stop!
No!
Keats, what the fuck
is wrong with you, man?
No one hurts him!
That's the deal.
Come on, Moses. If you come out now,
maybe we can make a deal.
Don't you talk to me about makin'
any deals, you lyin' sack of shit!
Come on, Moses,
give yourself up.
You're gonna get
yourself killed here.
All right, Officer Keats, you win.
I'm comin' out. Don't shoot.
Come on, Moses.
I'll blow this dog's head right off
his body. You drop your goddamn gun!
No, you won't.
You love animals.
I hate dogs! Get outta here,
you stupid, ugly dog!
I'm trying to save
your life here.
Fuck you!
No! God, no, no, no!
Oh, my God, Jack's down!
Get that son of a bitch!
Get him! Get him!
Bledsoe, it got all fucked up in there,
all fucked up. Where were you guys?
We had a flat tire,
asshole.
- Goddamn it!
- Ohhh!
This little fuckup of yours cost me
millions of dollars. I'm very, very mad.
- I'm sorry. I made a mistake.
- "I'll suck his... "
"If he's a cop,
I'll suck your dick. "
I believe I'm close to that
particular quote, am I not?
I don't think I did say that, actually.
Maybe Bledsoe said that.
Here's your last meal.
I hope you enjoy it.
Oh, don't do this, please.
You don't need to do this.
Get this damn mutt off me!
Oh, you slimy bastard! God!
Let's move it!
- Blood pressure dropping!
- He's bleeding out!
To the Rock and Archie Show.
You know that.
How long?
I mean, basically, you're the only guy
I've ever trusted in my entire life.
Disneyland.
Welcome back, Jack.
Take it easy for the time being.
Getting back on your feet
isn't going to be easy, but...
you're in good hands.
This is Traci Flynn,
our new physical therapist.
Hi.
- Keep me posted.
- Okay.
Good.
Bring it down.
Come on, Jack, I want you
to make it to the end of the bar.
Let's go. Come on.
Pull it forward. There you go.
Put your weight on it.
Bring the other one forward.
Five, five, five.
Let's go.
You're doing all right, though.
Come on, Jack, you're
ready for this. Come on.
# Tell me what is so divine #
# The one I need, yeah #
# The one I need, yeah #
I'm proud of you.
Oh, the ghost himself.
Not even a bullet
in the head could stop him.
I'm tellin' you, one millimeter
to the right or left, and he'd be dead.
Oh, man, I wouldn't want
to have to mess with him.
# Where you from, uptown ho #
# Break it down, baby
got the fifth wheel swingin' #
# Flies so cool, when you ride
you'll be screamin' #
# I used to be known as
the bank account breaker #
# Never be millionaire
but I'm damn good lovemaker #
# I rather play you, though
if I had your number #
Sir! Sir!
Sir!
Where're you headed, sir?
I'm goin' to Mexico. I gotta start my
life over. I'm gonna be a bullfighter.
Have you been
drinking, sir?
I had about a half a beer,
but the dog had a lot.
Would you mind stepping out of this
vehicle and walking a straight line?
Oh, yeah, no problem.
So you got Archie Moses.
What does that got to do with me?
Archie Moses is gonna
turn state's evidence.
- He's rolling on Colton?
- Uh-huh.
Colton wasn't too thrilled
with Moses...
for bringing a cop
into his organization.
He's had a hit
on him ever since.
So, now that Moses
is up against it,
he's ready to give us
Colton on a platter.
Jack, Steve Finch, DEA.
He's calling the shots.
And what the hell
is he gettin' out of this?
- Commuted sentence.
- How commuted?
- Still to be determined.
- Oh, bullshit! How commuted?
- Jack, take it easy.
- That asshole shot me in my head!
- Now I got this asshole tellin' me he's gettin' away with it!
- Asshole?
Jack, that's not how it happened.
Moses will do the time.
You know what? You and the DEA figure
that out. I want nothin' to do with it.
Hold on a minute, Jack.
The deal with Moses.
One condition.
What condition?
I don't know why he wants you to
bring him in, and I don't give a shit!
- With him, we finish what we started!
- No.
You don't have to be afraid.
We'll send in a team for backup.
You think
I'm afraid of Moses?
After the way you treated him, I wouldn't
be surprised if he put another bullet...
Jack, Jack! Hold on. Take it easy.
You're right, "Stench. "
I am afraid of Moses.
I'm afraid if I see him
again, I'll kill him.
Jack, come on.
- What do you want?
- Ohhh!
I mean, let someone else
bring Moses' stupid ass in.
Far as I'm concerned,
this shit is over for me.
You know, your cop buddies,
they all say the same thing.
They say you're not
the same man, Jack.
They say that when you got shot,
you lost a piece of yourself.
I didn't even know you then, but you
know what? I think they were right.
- What are you talking about? I'm happy.
- Come on, Jack.
You pretend you like your job, and it's
making you miserable eight hours a day.
And you pretend that
Archie Moses doesn't exist,
which is making you
miserable 24 hours a day!
If you don't finish
this thing with Archie Moses...
Come here.
You're right, as usual.
You're right.
Okay, little Keats, sit.
Good doggy.
Now beg for your life.
That's right, little Keats. Come on,
you can do it. Let me hear you cry.
No good. Bang!
Gotcha.
Poor little boy.
I'm surprised you showed up.
Why isn't this prisoner
in cuffs?
There he goes,
bein' a cop again.
Well, he wasn't going anywhere.
You cuff him.
Arms, legs, feet.
I want his asshole
cuffed to his nuts,
and then put him
on the plane.
Before you do that,
see you later, buddy.
Man's best friend
right here.
Oh, you like that. Look, he's lickin' me
'cause he likes to lick me,
not 'cause he's tryin' to get
close to me and then fuck me over.
- Do I speak with an accent?
- No.
Then cuff the prisoner!
Don't you even want to know
why I asked for you, Keats?
I know why. You want
to finish what you started.
But I'm warning you, Archie Moses,
I'm lookin' for an excuse to kill you.
If you sneeze, if you fart,
if I even smell your breath,
I will shoot you dead.
How about if I chew loud?
Sometimes when I eat, I chew loud.
Yum-yum. You gonna shoot me?
I ain't gonna
try anything, Keats,
and you're so wrong
about that day.
You know what? I don't wanna
hear nothing you have to say...
about any subject
at any time.
And yes, I will shoot you
if you chew loud.
Man down! Sniper!
- Oh, shit, they're tryin' to kill me!
- Get your ass on that plane.
Hustle! Let's go!
What the hell
is goin' on up there?
- Shit! The pilot's dead.
- I got 1,000 hours.
- What?
- I got 1,000 hours flying a plane.
- Oh, bullshit.
- Mr. Colton's in the import/export business, remember?
Here, buddy.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
- Hey, come on, fly this baby.
- Not until you apologize.
- What?
- Apologize! You did some shitty shit!
You better hurry!
I swear to God if you don't
fly this damn plane,
you're gonna experience death,
then deja vu!
You're a bad person, man.
I can actually
taste my nuts.
You're killing me!
Mayday. Mayday.
Does anyone read?
Mayday? What is this,
a Kirk Douglas movie?
Is everything a joke?
You're wasting your time
anyway, man.
- Can we make L.A.?
- Not without gas.
They blew our gas tanks!
Oh, shit!
Okay, we're probably gonna
crash headfirst, right?
Okay, I'll be in the back
sittin' on the black box.
Here we go now!
Oh, God, no!
Stop, stop, stop!
I saved our fuckin' life!
I have some advice for you,
Keats, right now.
Don't move.
Do not move.
I said don't move!
I didn't move, asshole!
The damn plane is starting to slip!
Slow. Easy.
Don't yell!
The echo, the vibration, makes it move.
We have to whisper.
Whisper.
Aw, shit!
That ain't workin', either!
One... two... three!
Man, that was God's way
of tellin' you to let me go, I think.
Yeah? We must serve
different gods,
because mine is saying shoot you
and throw you over that cliff.
Well, I don't like your god.
Your god scares me.
I'm your god right now.
You're a piece of shit,
you know that, Keats?
Sometimes I wish that bullet
really did kill you.
You better watch
what you say to me.
That's pretty sick, man. You pretend
to be my friend for a full year,
and then you bust my ass.
That takes somebody really cold-blooded,
man, somebody not even human.
I was doin' my job.
When are you gonna understand that?
Yeah, well, now bringing me in
safe and sound is doin' your job!
And you're gonna do your job,
'cause that's the kind of cop you are.
Am I right,
Officer Keats?
You're right.
Now, in case you're wondering
why that hurt so much,
it's because I have a metal plate
in my head, compliments of you.
So from here on in, you better
watch what you say to me.
Seriously, Keats,
you blink, and I am out of here.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
You show up to L.A., you got nothin'
but your dingdong in your hands.
Which reminds me, I gotta
take a leak right now.
Piss in your pants.
We're not stopping.
Piss in my pants?
I haven't done that since I'm 24.
Seriously, man,
I gotta take a leak.
I gotta take a leak!
I gotta take a leak!
- You have 15 seconds.
- Fifteen seconds ain't gonna cut it.
I gotta unzip. I gotta shake.
That takes time.
You have ten seconds.
I know you ain't
gonna believe me, but...
- that day you got shot, man, that really was an accident!
- Time's up.
- I'm not finished!
- Yes, you are.
Come on. Wet pants.
- Get up!
- I got piss on me!
That was a big mistake, making me
piss my pants like that, man.
'Cause it's payback time.
I don't know when,
but I got a good feeling
it's when you're sleepin'.
'Cause I know you're
gonna sleep soon enough.
And then, guess what.
I'm gonna piss all over you.
See, that's worse.
It's my piss on me right now.
You can deal with it
when it's your own piss.
But you're gonna have my piss on you,
and that's gross.
I'm gettin' other people
to piss on you.
I'm gettin' animals
to piss on you, man.
Cows, pigs. I'll get
a whole farm to piss on you.
What kind of
weird place is this?
Hey, all right!
They got porno.
- Can I help you gentlemen?
- I need to use your phone.
- Charlie, is it?
- Charles.
I saw the sign, man.
You guys got a lot of porno here?
Yes, we have
an excellent selection.
Great.
I like the porn.
Well... good.
Hey, Cap, it's me. Yeah, someone
tipped Colton off about the pickup.
We got word. I heard about the attack.
Jack, are you all right?
Yeah, I'm okay.
Listen, who's there with you?
Finch.
Okay, we're in a motel
outside of Flagstaff,
a little place called
The Hunting Cap Lodge.
We'll find it, have someone there
first thing in the morning.
Somebody from that area.
Let's keep this between us.
Can't trust nobody right now.
Being up in the sticks, man, you must
lose your mind. Nothin' else to do.
You whack off a lot?
Wh-What's a lot?
Well, you know, you got five minutes
off, you got nothin' to do,
you stumble into one of the rooms,
pull down your little panties, whack it.
Excuse me.
We need a room.
Uh... you guys aren't...
you know?
Look, it's been a long day.
Just give me a room.
Okay. Just, uh...
fill this out...
please.
Charlie, come here.
Geez, man, I wanna talk to ya.
He says he's not gay,
but, uh...
let's see what a few drinks and
a back massage will do to him, huh?
Might gay him up a little,
don't you think? Look at him.
Look at the way he's standing. He's
not gay, huh? He's waitin' for you.
Oh, I... That's...
I don't thi... Mm-mm.
Is that your wife
back there?
Yeah.
Goddamn, she's hot!
Thank you.
Yeah! The three of us, we could
burn it up together, don't you think?
- What do you mean?
- You know damn well what I mean.
Hey, which room?
Uh... let's see.
Well, the only room we have available
is the honeymoon suite.
We'll take it.
Hey, Charlie,
come here, please.
So, uh,
what do you think?
Me, you, the old lady,
a little sandwich action?
- Wh-What do you mean?
- Yeah, come on!
You're a piece of white bread.
She's a piece of white bread.
I'm the salami.
Let's give it a shot.
Oh, well, she's not eating sandwiches.
She's on a diet right now.
- All right, well, think about it.
- Let's go.
All right.
Well, enjoy your night.
And thank you
for staying... here.
# You #
# My darling, you #
# Bittersweet #
# Memories #
# That is all I'm taking #
# With me #
# So good-bye #
# Please don't cry #
# We both know #
# I'm not what you need #
# And I #
# I will always #
# Love you #
# I'll always love you # #
Will you shut up?
Shut the hell up!
Keats, you'll always be
my bodyguard.
You know that.
Ow!
Let me guess.
You dropped the soap?
Please take that
out of my ass.
I want you
on the bed now!
Hey, Charlie.
What's up, Chuck?
Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
No, we're in some ratty little town
called Beaver Pelt.
How will you get out?
Hey, turn that off.
The guy is goin' down on her and she's
eating an apple. It's hilarious.
Oh, yeah, that's right.
I'm sorry, sweetheart.
What did you say?
Jack, what's going on there?
It sounds like someone's having sex.
No, nobody's having sex.
It's just Moses.
Jack.
Hey, will you
turn that shit off!
This is a '70s porno.
You know how I can tell?
'Cause the guy's dick
has sideburns.
So, listen, baby, wha...
what are you wearing?
What am I wearing?
Yeah, you know, you wearing that
little black lacey thing I bought you?
Well, as a matter of fact, I am.
Why do you ask?
I don't know. I'm just sittin' here,
thinkin' about you.
You know,
I'm really missin' you.
I miss you too.
Hey, I gotta let you go.
Jack...
Where did you get that?
Didn't they search you?
I had it in my ass.
You want a hit?
Here.
Hey, man, what're you doin'?
You just wasted good weed!
Who were you talking to anyway? Your
girlfriend? I didn't know you had a girlfriend.
I'm probably
gonna marry this one.
Marry her? Geez, man.
I ain't ever gettin' married.
I wouldn't drag anybody
into my miserable life.
And two, two cars
in every garage, you betcha.
What was wrong with you, man, gettin'
involved with a piece of shit like that?
I don't know.
Crime's the only thing I'm good at, man.
I had a normal job once.
I was a busboy.
Got fired in three days.
I don't know how to give people butter.
I got the guy
in the yellow trunks.
Twenty bucks,
man in the green.
- You already owe me 20 bucks.
- For what?
Knicks at the Forum.
You didn't wanna take any points.
Were you out of your mind?
What a sucker. Here.
You know, maybe I'm the sucker.
Damned handcuff shit!
Man, you really
had me fooled!
I would've done anything for you. I
would've taken a bullet for you, Keats!
I bet that's not even
your real name, "Keats."
Holy shit. Your name
really isn't Keats, is it?
It's Carter.
Jack Carter.
I told you personal shit about myself,
shit I never told anybody in my life,
and you didn't even
tell me your real name?
I was working undercover.
What do you expect?
- You didn't tell anybody, did you?
- About what?
The shit I told you! You probably
told every cop on the force!
What, that they
over-circumcised you?
That's bullshit!
I made that up to make you laugh!
Don't worry about it.
I didn't tell anybody anything.
- You're a liar.
- Don't give me none of your shit!
I'm not the one that
made you cross that line.
I may be a criminal, but I would never
do to anybody what you did to me, man.
That's messin'
with people's feelings!
That's why your head hurts
right now, man. You feel guilty.
No, my head hurts
because you shot me in it.
- Keats.
- Look, it's Carter.
I put my ass on the line, trying to
make sure nothin' happened to you.
And what did I get?
A bullet in the head!
That was an accident.
- Don't say that shit to me.
- It's the truth.
If you're not man enough to admit that
what you did was more cold-blooded...
than anything I've done to you,
then I don't wanna hear your mouth!
- Well, it was...
- Don't say it!
An accident!
Hey, Moses, you know,
my head feels a million times better.
I think I'm gonna sleep
like a baby tonight. How about you?
Oh, I'm sorry about the turds in there.
It was an accident.
# And I will always #
# Love you #
But, honey, you're the one
that's always saying...
we need to try new things...
to keep the passion and fire
in our relationship.
Well, how do you know you wouldn't
like a little sandwich action?
All right, stud,
say good-bye.
Uh, I gotta go, honey.
Good-bye.
Where are they?
Who?
Understand me.
I'm gonna ask you one more time,
then I'm gonna blow your brains out
all over Mr. Moose.
Bungalow 7.
Good night.
Qu rico!
Qu ms grande!
No lo puedo creo!
Get in!
Get in!
Go, go, go!
- Stay down.
- Those fellas messed with the wrong hombre!
They don't get out of here
alive! Let's go!
- Oh-oh. Oh, shit!
- Here they come!
Uh, Charlie, don't you think
you're goin' a little fast?
Don't worry. I know these woods
like the back of my hand.
- Hey!
- Hey!
Aaaah!
That elm came down in a storm
we had a week ago Thursday.
Guess those fellows
aren't from around here.
Heh, heh, heh, heh.
That's Jimmy's creek. It's good fishin',
if you're ever back this way.
Charlie, are you getting
a woody doing this?
Uh-uh. I had one
before we started.
Come on, Charles.
I don't like
that look in his eye.
- Where're we going? What's he doin'?
- Charlie!
God almighty!
Charlie!
Devil's Dropoff!
235 feet straight down.
Kinda hard
to make out in the dark.
I'd like to make out with you
in the dark, Charlie. Come here.
- Get outta here! Get off me!
- Don't be so shy!
- Yeah!
- All right, Charlie!
Ahhh!
Yeah.
Mr. Colton, I've lost 'em,
and I don't know where they are.
Gimme a second.
Fuckin' idiot prick!
Naturally, if you lost 'em,
you don't know where they are.
- You fuckin' idiot.
- Sorry.
- Where might they be?
- Probably on their way to Los Angeles.
See you later.
Thanks for being a hero, Charlie.
Oh, great, you're puttin'
the handcuffs back on. Thanks!
It's Finch.
It's gotta be Finch.
- Something I don't understand, though.
- What's that?
He's a special D.E.A. Officer. These
guys don't usually flip out like that.
Colton can fix anybody he thinks might
be able to help him in the long run.
You fuckin' piece of shit!
You ruined my life! Sorry, I'm sorry.
Hey, where're you going
right now?
- Callin' the FBI.
- What?
Did you not listen
to a word I said?
What are you telling me? Colton's
got FBI agents in his pockets, too?
Is it the plate in your head?
I don't remember you being this stupid.
Look, Colton's got notebooks
with people's names in it, all right?
Cops, judges, FBI agents.
I know this 'cause I used to write
some of those names in there myself.
You just don't want the FBI
involved because you think...
it'll be easier for you to run
if it's just me and you.
You know what your problem is?
You see everything in black and white.
You don't realize there's a gray area
in life. That's where most people live.
Know what? Spare me
your ignorant philosophy.
I think I trust the FBI a little more
than a guy that shot me in my head.
Call me wacky.
Yeah, the bus
comes in at 7:00.
Right. Okay. Good-bye.
Hey, man.
Can I call my mother?
- For what?
- Because, you just got me killed...
I figure I'll talk
to her one last time.
- No.
- Come on, man.
You know I talk
to her every Tuesday.
She's gonna get all nervous
if I don't call. Please.
Do you have any change?
Come on.
You know, I always did like your Mom.
How's she doin'?
Well, if she could stop drinkin' all
that booze and smokin' all that weed...
I guess she'd be all right.
The doctor says... Hey, don't
talk about my mother, by the way.
What are you getting
all defensive about?
Because it would break my mother's heart
if she knew what you did to me.
I was just doing my job,
that's what I did to you.
My mother loved you! She said
you were my only real friend.
It's ringing.
You didn't tell her
what happened, did you?
No.
I wouldn't do that.
Will you please help?
Thank you.
Mom? Hey!
How's it goin'?
Mom, are you high?
Geez, what else is new?
Okay.
Ah-ha, Rock Keats
is doin' just fine.
Yes, he is.
He's right here.
He's with me.
You want to talk to him?
- Well, I'll put him on the phone!
- I don't want to.
You've got nothing to feel guilty about.
You said so.
- I don't want to talk to her.
- Just talk to Mommy.
Carter, Mommy.
Right there.
It's all right.
Hi, Ma.
Yeah, I'm doing great.
No, I have
a new girlfriend now.
Yeah. Named Traci.
No, not Staci, Traci.
No, she's not like
the whore in Mexico. No.
Yeah, I'm taking care of your Archie.
I know, and...
Well, he's my
best friend too.
Okay.
Well, I look forward
to seeing you. Okay.
Sweet potato pie?
That's wonderful.
Okay. Bye-bye.
Mmwah.
Back at you.
- You know I'm gonna kill you, right?
- Carter, stop that.
# Until the day when
I become what I will be #
- # Oh, hey #
- # Until the day when memories are not to see #
- # Always #
- # Until the day when we see sunshine through the clouds #
- # Always #
- # Until the day when we see sunshine through the clouds #
# Oh, hey #
All right.
These are our guys.
The Blues Brothers?
Yeah.
Look. Guess which one
of them is your real father?
The one with the hat.
Detective Carter?
Special Agents Gentry and Cole.
Man, am I glad
to see you guys.
- Gentry and Cole, eh?
- Yeah. So what?
Don't mind him,
he's simple.
I guess you boys
had a pretty rough ride.
Man, you can
say that again.
Darrel Gentry,
Darrel Gentry, Darrel Gentry.
- That's my name, don't wear it out.
- First name is Darrel, right?
Yeah. Named after
my mother's brother.
Talk about simple!
Old Uncle Darrel
was a goddamned pinhead!
Yeah. Now, how
did I know your first name?
What's that?
Your first name.
How did I know that?
Hell, I don't know. I suppose
I said something back at the station.
Oh, that's right.
Keats, remember that?
He goes, "Hey, I'm Darrel Gentry,"
right at the station.
He goes "Darrel.
I'm Darrel Gentry. "
Yeah, 'cause it's not like
I'm a psychic.
If I was a psychic, I would
have made you out for a cop.
We wouldn't be in this
damn mess in the first place.
How the hell do you
shut him up?
Oh, well,
this usually works.
Keats, get the wheel!
Oh, you gonna shoot that shit?
Get the hell out of my car.
- Get out!
- Uugh!
You all right? Good.
It's time to roll.
Oh, my God,
the guy looks like a tumbleweed!
- The Rock and Archie Show.
- Yeah, you did good, kid.
Yeah. I told you I was telling
the truth about them FBI guys.
Okay, so you told the truth.
Just like I was telling the truth
about how shooting you was an accident.
Hey. Don't go there.
Hey, man. I may not know you,
where you're really from,
what school you really went to...
or whether or not your Dad
really was a smack-head.
But you know me, man.
Say it. Tell me I ain't a liar.
Say it, Keats.
- You ain't a liar.
- Hallelujah.
Hey, Moe. My father
really did die...
with a needle in his arm.
You're the only person
I ever told that to.
I wish I could hug you,
but I got these goddamn handcuffs on.
Stick your finger in your ass, Alfie.
Hey, the reason Colton
wants me so bad...
and the reason the DA was so willing
to make a deal with me...
is 'cause I know how
Colton's whole operation works.
From how he imports the drugs to how he
launders the money through his car dealership.
It's all written in them notebooks
I was tellin' you about.
- The ones with the names?
- You could make a case against Colton...
that would put him away for 20 lifetimes
and I could help you get them...
- If... I let you go?
- The cops don't give a shit about me. They want Colton.
No can do.
How can you do this
to me?
Look, you're giving up Colton,
all right?
- You're not gonna do much time.
- Oh, yeah, okay.
Smuggling dope, shooting a cop,
I'll see you in ten years.
That's if your boy Vince doesn't
pick me off on the way to headquarters.
I'm not taking you
to headquarters.
I'm taking you
to my precinct.
I know people there
I can trust.
You'll be all right.
We were friends, Keats.
Friends.
Doesn't that
mean anything to you?
Don't give me that shit about
you were just doing your job,
- 'cause that's crap!
- Hey. I was doin' my job then...
- and I'm doin' my job now.
- Well, your job sucks!
Hey, could you move your head
to the left?
I think that fuckin' plate
is ruinin' the reception!
# I waited here by the phone #
- Jesus, you're right.
# And when
the silence prolonged # #
Hey, where's
the captain at?
- Haven't seen him.
- Good to see you, man, but you look like shit.
Why don't you go home?
We'll take this guy off your hands.
Wait, uh...
Do the names Sulliman
and Jones mean anything to you?
Hey, wait a minute.
What's with you, Jack?
You don't trust us,
all of a sudden?
I don't trust anybody,
Whoopi.
Sulliman. Jones.
- Don't ring a bell.
- All right.
You keep him away from Finch.
That bastard's on Colton's payroll.
That son of a bitch. I knew there
was a reason I didn't like that guy.
Hey, Keats.
- Yeah.
- Will you do me a favor?
Could you check in on my mom
every once in a while?
Make sure she's not smoking
too much weed?
I got nobody else
to ask.
You got it.
I'll look after her.
- Hello.
- Hey, bright eyes.
- Jack, where are you? Ja...
- I'm at the sta... Hello?
Hello, Jack.
Welcome home.
You son of a bitch.
If you hurt her, I swear to God...
Yeah, yeah. Listen.
I'm a businessman, Jack,
so I thought maybe we'd
discuss a little business.
You see, you have something that I want,
and I have something that you want.
So what I'm talking
about here is an even swap.
But I don't have Moses anymore.
I turned him in.
Well, that's not very good,
then, is it?
Um, you better
get him back, Jack.
You bring Moses to my house, or you'll
never see your little girlfriend again.
Come on down, hear?
Watch your step!
Look, man, don't do
what I think you want to do,
'cause I'm telling you,
neither one of us is gonna like it.
Wait, hold up!
I need him back.
What are you
talkin' about?
- I'm taking him to headquarters myself.
- Why?
Never mind, why.
Get the fuck off me.
He's taking me back,
so we're going.
Sorry about your lunch,
big man.
Hey, man, thank you.
I knew you wouldn't let me down.
- What was that last look I gave you?
- Yeah, all of that.
- Jack, where are you goin'?
- Trust me on this, Captain. He's dirty.
- What the hell are you talking about?
- You heard me!
- Are you crazy?
- I'll explain it all to you later.
No! You'll explain now!
Jensen. Jensen?
- This guy's name is Jensen?
- Why? Why? Why?
- What?
- It's not Finch, man, it's Jensen!
- He works with Colton!
- What the hell is he saying?
- You gotta get me outta here!
- He's saying that you're in bed with Colton. Now, back up.
Jack, he's a lying
son of a bitch!
- He doesn't lie.
- Jack, are you going to take the word...
of that little prick
over mine?
- Right now, I have to.
- You're on suspension, you son of a bitch.
Now, turn that
prisoner over.
Don't you even
think about it!
And you. You ought
to be ashamed of yourself.
And you. You ought
to be ashamed of yourself.
- Hey, man.
- Hey, how you doin'?
# Gettin' down with the party #
# Well, hey
I'm the big kahuna #
- I cannot believe
that it was Jensen.
This guy's been
like a father to me!
Mmm.
Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
Uh, I'm not gonna tell ya,
'cause you're probably gonna get mad.
Moe, what are you
talkin' about?
All right,
there was a chance...
I'm not 100%% sure, but...
maybe it was Benson,
not Jensen.
You're bullshitting me.
No, I'm not positive
about this.
Actually, I am pretty
positive it was Benson.
- They sound the same.
- Moses, I could kick your ass!
It's very close, Jensen, Benson.
They rhyme!
Jesus Christ,
gimme a break!
- Give you a break?
- You should be happy! Your captain's clean!
I knocked my superior officer
on his ass. I pulled a gun on him.
- And I should be happy?
- The good thing is...
when push came to shove, you acted
like a human being instead of a cop!
Man, you wouldn't let me rot
in that jail cell...
and I love you for it!
Moses...
Mmm. I swear to God, I'm going to
make it up to you. That's a promise.
- I got something to tell you.
- Mm-hmm. Go ahead.
- You're not gonna get mad?
- I ain't gonna get mad.
I'm falling in love
with you all over again.
Okay. Okay.
Colton's got Traci. He says the only way
I can get her back is if I turn you in.
There, I said it.
You can't stop fucking me over,
can you?
I'm not gonna
turn you in!
Okay? But I can't
get her back without you.
You're the only one that knows
your way around that place.
Look, we both know I ain't gonna
make it outta that place alive.
- Um, look...
- Forget it, man, I ain't doing this!
Okay, fine!
Then I guess you lied
to me after all.
- Okay, about what?
- You said you'd take a bullet for me.
Well, I would have taken
a bullet for you at one time,
but that shit's
all gone now.
Cool. Then don't
do it for me.
Do it for yourself. Because as long
as you're alive, Colton wants you dead.
It's only a matter of time
before he puts your lights out.
Goddamn it.
All right, gimme a gun.
Moses, you're a fugitive
who's in my custody.
I can't just
give you a gun.
Even if it means
I'm gonna get killed?
- It don't work like that. The rules...
- Even if it means...
Traci could get killed?
Will you get over that black and white
shit and come over to the gray area?
Goddamn it,
there's plenty of room!
- Mr. Colton's waiting to see us.
- He certainly is.
Hand it over.
After you.
Gross. Right
in the fuckin' eyeball.
Bet you're glad
you gave me that gun.
This is the only door
without an alarm on it.
- What does it lead to?
- Guest kitchen. Nobody's ever in there.
Oh, shit.
Get her out of here.
I think they're
eating fajitas.
Goddamn it.
Drop back.
Now!
So no one's ever in here,
huh, Moses?
Hey. Shit!
Is that all you got?
Come here!
Motherfucker!
Aaaaargh!
Oh, Jack.
Thank God.
I was so scared.
- Where's Colton?
- I saw him drive off when the shooting started.
Okay. Come on,
let's get out of here.
Shh.
There may still be some people
around here. I don't have a gun.
I've got one.
Great. Let me have it.
Put your hands up, Jack.
Traci, now is not
the time for jokes.
- Give me the gun.
- Put your hands up, or I will let you have it.
Move toward the door.
So after all this time,
it was you, huh?
- I'm sorry, Jack.
- Why don't you just shoot me in my head?
It won't hurt as much.
Give me the gun, bitch!
Thank you!
- Where the hell were you?
- Gettin' Colton's notebooks.
According to these,
it's Nurse Traci's job...
to get close to somebody
and then fuck them over.
- No wonder you liked her.
- Jack, please!
Move it!
Move it!
Colton knew you'd be coming
after me sooner or later...
so he sicked devil eyes over here
on you to lead him to me.
Jack, Colton made me do it.
He would have killed me
if I hadn't done it.
Watch it now, Keats.
She's playing you.
But then I fell in love
with you.
But... then I fell...
Shut the fuck up!
I swear to God I did.
Aw, she's lyin'
out her devil ass!
- Will you shut the fuck up?
- Why don't you make me?
Jesus, I gotta learn how to fight.
This is pathetic.
Moses, don't you do it!
Your girlfriend is shooting at me. What do
you want me to do, tell her she's pretty?
Traci. Traci.
- Put the gun down.
- I'm walking out of here, Jack.
- Don't try to stop me.
- Goddamn it, Traci, stop this.
Don't take it personally.
I'm just doing my job.
Oh, shit!
I've heard that before!
Look, Moses, shut up.
Traci, please.
Traci, please.
Don't make you feel
too good, does it, Keats?
Traci!
Okay, Jack.
I'm coming out.
I don't want anyone else to get hurt.
Hey, Keats.
Take a gun. She's crazy.
Put it down.
Keats, look out!
Hey, jack-off.
You make one hell
of a partner.
First you bust 'em,
then you get 'em shot.
Hey, you know what?
Screw him.
I built my whole business
selling to morons like him.
You come on down to
Colton Motors, you hear?
And I'll sell you a new partner,
one without a bullet in him.
Think of the depreciation.
Step into my office, chump.
- I could kill you now, but that wouldn't be enough.
- What?
'Cause first, man,
I'm gonna fuck you up.
Ooooh!
Let's get
our story straight.
You two.
You broke in here to kill me.
Ohhh! That's what you get for
trying to make me suck your dick.
Aaaaah!
Hey, Moe.
I can't believe you did that.
Did what?
You actually took
a bullet for me.
That was pretty nice
of me, wasn't it?
- Yeah.
- Ow. Ow! Ow! Ow!
Hey, sit down.
Let me look at that.
Ah, shit.
Ow!
Man, it's just
a little flesh wound.
A bullet hit my back.
It hurts.
- Try taking one in the head.
- All right, that probably hurt more.
Those notebooks ought
to make that Benson or...
Jensen guy forget
you ever hit him.
It's Jensen. And you better
get the hell out of here.
Thanks, man.
Hey, you take care
of yourself.
Try not to mess up.
This life of crime bullshit,
I'm done with it. I'm going to Cabo.
Ah, drinkin' margaritas,
bangin' seoritas.
Fuck that shit, man.
I'm gonna be a bullfighter.
I hear those guys make a lot of money.
You should come.
Maybe.
To the Rock and Archie Show.
To the Jack and Archie Show.
I'll see you later.
See you, Moses.
The American customer
is different than here in Mexico.
You see, we like it when you first
meet somebody, you just start kissing.
Get to know each other a little.
It's a little strange at first,
but if you loosen up
you can enjoy it.
You know, I think
it could be fun.
- Seor, you're so funny.
- Oh, funny, and good looking too.
I'm not great looking, but pretty good.
Like, about a seven.
Hey, I wanted to ask you. How many of
you have done it with a bullfighter?
- Anybody? Come on, show of hands.
- We don't like bullfighters.
- We hate when they kill the bull.
- I wouldn't kill the bull.
That's not nice.
What I like to do is...
I like to get to know the bull, teach it
how to read, that kind of thing.
- Make him stop smoking.
- Let's go.
It's not right
for a bull to smoke.
How's it goin'?
We don't like you gringos
bothering our women.
And I wouldn't do that.
That's why I'm going to leave right now.
It was great meeting you.
Oh, God, come on.
Hey!
You got a problem with him,
then you got a problem with us.
Right, Keats?
Keats?
Hey, you don't want to beat the shit out
of me in front of my mother, do you?
Mom! Ma!
Mom! Mother!
# It's the nine right
So I gotta get loc #
# Do what I gotta do
to get them hundred spokes #
# Get smoke with my folks
like a baller bachelor #
# You can catch me
in my Acura #
# Half of ya don't know
the meaning of dope #
# That's why I'm grabbin'
the microphone #
# And goin' for broke #
# Like one time for your mind #
# Down with flossy macks
and I'm all of that #
# I been around the world
seen so many girls #
# Honeys lookin' fine
Yo, I'm out to get mine #
# You didn't know me then
as my homey #
# We're comin' from way back #
# The hell with them
knapsacks and backpacks #
# Comin' through with
the new thought ya knew #
# We doin' this just like
we supposed to do #
# And we keepin' it real
with the action #
# Guaranteed satisfaction
when it's all ya askin' #
# Just the two of us #
# We can make it if we try #
# Just the two of us #
# You and I #
# Just the two of us #
# Keep it real
You know that's why #
# Just the two of us #
# You and I #
# Mama always said
I was born to speak the word #
# Now I got them beats
for my peoples serving curbs #
# I rock from back street
to boulevards #
# I come with the funk
they bump in the trunk #
# So check ya headphones
and boom boxes #
# 'Cause I be rockin' heads #
# From the ghettoes
to the boondoxes #
# Who gots the motts
We do #
# And I loves to see a honey in
a nightie that's see through #
# So now you know
we down from the block #
# See my homey he got shot #
# Ya know what I think got #
# Doin' it for some
cleanin' the money #
# Somethin' ain't right 'cause
it's shady when it's sunny #
# Hot damm
I got they number #
# Pullin' they card out the deck
just to put 'em in check #
# It makes me wonder
who to trust #
- # But the two of us #
- # Just the two of us #
# We can make it if we try #
# Just the two of us #
# You and I #
# Just the two of us #
# Keep it real
You know that's why #
# Just the two of us #
# You and I #
# Who can I lean on
when I fall #
# It's my homeys
that I call #
# Always know they're
comin' through #
- # Yeah #
- # Good things might come to those who wait #
# But not to those
who contemplate #
# You gotta go
for what you know, baby #
# Check one, two as I creep
Now don't sleep #
# Just the two of us
Wreck I'm LP #
- # Nothin' new to ya #
- # Tell you what I'll do for ya #
- # Make a mad move for ya #
- # Mad party grooves for ya #
# So put the boogie
in ya backside #
- # All night #
- # Grab a boo and hit the dance floor #
# Now sure ya right #
# Hidden sweets in switches #
# Pitches all day
I said steady as I parley #
# In the mix
'cause I have to be #
# And I'm steady pulling
skirts like cavities #
- # Say what #
- # We puttin' it down like gravity #
- # And there ain't a honey dip that won't be havin' me #
- # Yeah #
# Just the two of us #
# We can make it
If we try #
# Just the two of us #
# You and I #
# Just the two of us #
# Keep it real
You know that's why #
# Just the two of us #
# You and I #
# Just the two of us #
# We can make it if we try #
# Just the two of us #
# You and I #
# Just the two of us #
# Keep it real
You don't ask why #
# Just the two of us #
# You and I #
# Just the two of us #
# We can make it if we try #
# Just the two of us # #
# Can you feel #
# Can you feel #
# All punks
cannot go downstairs #
# Clean up their messes #