Hacamat brother comes.
Selamn aleykm brother Hacamat.
Ve aleykm selam we rahmetullah we bereket.
Selamn aleykm Polat.
Polat dear you wait outside for me.
Have fun.
Get outside I don't want
this boy to see what is
going to happen here next,
it would be a shame.
Now esteemed brothers, while there are so many
unbelievers in this market
you happened upon me a pious,
god fearing man of worship
and an honest man of trade.
Some subjects may spread rumors around
labeling us as yanda mafia
but we work hard to avoid
such labeling by sewing with due dilligence
and honest effort because our works
are out in the open for all to see Maallah.
As it says in the good book:
el ecerl mahlukat el ante kunteyul farat.
It means:
Mouse with a death wish spanks the cat on the ass.
Such a disgrace, have you spanked
anyone in the ass recently?
Nope.
Why are we even here?
Why did you kicked our asses?
I don't get it at all.
You ate my candy.
Candy?
What candy?
Believer Onur, since you are
going to Ankara anyhow
Can I ask you for a favor.
Of course brother.
I have to deliver a package to another
believer brother of mine
would you call him first when you reach there
and deliver it to him.
Then attend to your business in Ankara
in your own sweet time.
Don't even mention it. I will do it gladly.
May Allah be pleased with you vallahi and billahi.
Selim, bring the package boy. Right away.
It has address and phone number on
it call it when you arrive.
Okay.
Nothing will happen to the package
I presume godwilling.
God forbid.
What can happen to a box of candy
for god's sake, godforbid.
Bastard, A..hole
C'mon Leyla, what are you doing you are blaming
me for nothing you ever gain.
Leyla honey, c'mon don't make
a scene neighbours are watching.
You don't know what a scene is I'm coming down.
I know! What you looking at What!
What you all looking at.
Get inside She'll calm down after
blowing some steam.
What is this? What is this?
You bought a present for her?
You have my bread in your stomach
my money in your pockets
don't you fear god?
Leyla honey, What have I done
I would explain if I only knew.
Don't you dare lie to my face.
Wait till I catch that skank named Suzan.
You were going all to way to Ankara
to sleep with her didn't you?
Leyla dear calm down, easy everybody
is watching us, what are you doing?
Hey.
What are you doing?
Hey, enough, hey. Let everybody hear and know.
You drove me crazy.
You drove me crazy!
Get the hell out of my sight. Aww c'mon.
Get away, see I burned them, burned them all.
Don't ever show your face again.
Shame on you brother this doesn't become you.
So you wasted two fine chaps over a box of candy?
Shame on you heaten Onur, you stoop that low?
To a box of candy.
I will go and buy you 10 boxes from patisserie
...please don't do it
You rascal believer,
do you think I will fall for that?
Where is my money?
What money?
Money? The money in the candy box.
Who in his right mind would
put money in a candy box?
Why don't you deposit it in a bank?
Interest is illicit what to do with my money?
Brother Hacamat, forgive me if I may,
How much... money was there
in the candy box?
Fifty thousand euros.
Curse you Onur man has every right,
where is the money?
How can we now that there was money there?
Allah Allah, maybe there isn't any.
I did not see no money may god strike me down.
I didn't see anything.
It has been to long that Onur
rascal still did not call.
We used to fight like that before
but it never took this long for him to call.
Senem, can there be another woman in his life?
Let's assume he has one God forbid.
Is that the end of the world?
You are young, comely.
Look at yourself, get up get a grip.
Should I call? Don't act silly,
not now you let us go.
Here is a propositon dear brother.
If I don't bring you 60K Euros
I am an inglorious bastard.
You already are one,
shut up.
Thank god, what is happening.
He had some wind
there was a man on gallows
when the hangmen placed the noose
around his neck, he asks him:
Do you have a last wish?
A blessed man
he replies: may god save me from worst.
Amen.
Hangman is a heaten he laughs and says, in a minute
I will kick the stool under you
you will hang and die What worse can happen?
The blessed man says don't talk like that.
Mr. hangman every bad has its worse.
Just that instant a horseman comes galloping.
And says to the hangmen loose the noose
around the convict. Death by hanging is abolished.
We will stake the culprits from now on.
As it says in the good book: meftal bil hayr,
if it is death let it be a good one.
Hope for the best you give the order
...And Selim will bust a cap in my skull, end it
...so I may know peace.
A hundred! A hundred?
A hundred thousand euros
and 1 month time what say you?
What is there to say now Onur the faithful.
A muslim should believe a muslim in the end.
Elhamdlillah.
Elhamdlillah,we are all believers.
Praise god.
Now Hadi we have read your script.
If you want my opinion,
I say you forget this comedy business.
Mr Daver, this is absurd comedy
it makes fun of personages.
Tries to create comedy out of
nonsensical situations.
The whole world laughs at absurd comedy.
Well I don't Hadi I really don't,
what are we gonna do?
Don't you have a romantic movie?
Romantic movie? Yep.
That is piss easy Here.
Love story truly original.
You don't say?
What you say?
I ll produce it for 1.5 it makes 16.
We sell it to the channel for 1 it makes 17.
Pay per View, DVD another 500,
to a total of 17,5
minus the tax, 4,5
we can change the apartment
we can change the car,
change the jeep
change the boat and Hseyin will fix us
the receipts and books we can make 18 thousand liras
from this project, there done let's shake hands.
If I like it, I will give 1000 to script.
Ohh Hadi, hope it is good news at this hour.
It will be good news Sevda
you got the leading role.
I don't believe it
You wrote me a leading role?
I have even met with the producer.
What did he say?
He has no quarrels about you
we can even say he liked you.
Wait a minute, you are not just
tantalizing me with empty promises I hope.
Hadi you will burn in the deepest pits of hell.
You hear me?
Now bye bye.
You are a piece of work angel
of death flies over our head
and you can still lie like that!
Who am I talking to?
What the hell?
What is the matter with you?
Hacamat is my matter.
Why you making such a fuss of it eto
so you made a witless mistake,
so what it will be solved eventually.
What witlesness are you talking about
I have not seen any money
nor have I eaten any candy
and look at what happened to me.
Like I have seen anything
I will elbow your face.
Relax guys, easy this Hacamat
...Hacamat or whatever is just a human being
you will go and talk like adults
and tell him "we can't pay this money"
it is beyond us, and it is settled.
If you can't talk to him
I will go and talk in your stead.
I will come to brother I will as well.
I won't leave you hanging out like that, but
the important question is this;
what will we say to Hacamat?
What will we say, what should
we say Grow a pair will you?
Look at yourselves, afraid like
little girls grow a spine, man up.
When I was in high school,
I was in wrestling team, man up
man up, I will kick that Hacamat's ass
or whatever to the curb.
What are you high on?
Tea.
I m sorry, may I ask a question.
Has this fella failed to pay his debt?
How did it happen?
I don't know
You kinda rearranged his face.
I wandered why
he was late for 2 days, 2 ohhh.
What gives believers,
something I should know?
We have a request from you,
brother Hacamat.
Let me put it this way,
our friends
brother Hacamat, now,
it is like this. Errr.
Esteemed brothers, don't talk like
charity collectors after Friday prayers
that talk altogether at the same time.
We were wondering if we should
pay our debt in Turkish liras
or in euros or dollars. We came to ask how
in order to avoid future misunderstandings.
It is far cry from that.
Not exactly like that
I mean not that way.
Brother, what you say is irrelevant.
What brother Hacamat says is all that matters.
Isn't that so?
He is right.
Now we accept all currencies.
Of all countries and nations after you collect it
in the following 27 days,
we don't discriminate
or act like racists.
Who is this brother?
Esteemed brother this is our room mate Sleyman
he is an outstanding believer a real faithful.
Selamnaleykm ve rahmeturullah esteemed brother.
Come over here.
You look like a nice brother.
A real believer Masallah.
Now I entrust my two brothers here first to god
and then to you if in this 27 days
anything happens to them
or they pull a dissappearing act
or anything, you will pay this 100.000 Euros
or I will pump all the blood
in your body out of your ass.
From here, right here.
Why did he entrust you to me?
Do I look like a custodian?
Onur shame on you for turning him into this.
That is all I say.
What? Are you insane people?
Was it my idea to talk to Hacamat?
Was it? Hmm?
Guys please don't screw me over
the man talks about draining blood from the ass.
I can't even stand the sight of a needle.
Tvbe estagfurullah.
Some precious ass you got there.
Like you are the only one who has one move.
This man would really can'); out
whatever he says right?
No kidding sherlock. This man
would sell his sould to devil
for money. Maybe he already had.
Stop hitting, for god's sake stop it.
You will break it, it would be a shame stop it.
It is all old and rotten here
and it stinks to high heavens.
Inorant fool,it smells of history even if its old
or rotten I or stinky,
it is precious for me.
Heirloom from my grand dad,
he got it from grand dad of his grand dad.
Great grand dad
great great grand great to my great grand
grand great great grand dad.
I must admit it is a nice piece.
And I must admit that under normal circumstances
we would not have sell it
but facts of life compelled us.
I'm sorry, would you be willing
to sell this sword as well?
Sword, let me check.
Ahhh that is a heirloom from my grand nanny
and grand nanny got it
from her great grand nanny.
She was an old fencer,
one of the oldest.
We are ripped,
totally ripped.
That rascal really robbed me.
What did you want from my precious heirloom?
You should be glad that slavery is abolished
else he would have sold you as well.
That he would.
You two are morons.
It would have sit and rot
there, thanks to me you
have some cash lining your
pockets, give me a break.
Give you a break?
Man has no shame he can still talk after all.
eto, how much did we get from the heirlooms?
It must have been a heft sum Sleyman.
How much did he give?
Haven't counted yet Sleyman not yet.
Is that our share, or just yours?
This is our share Sleyman, ours
Why the hell can't we think
about selling this on your own
and this guy goes and sells it
and we share the money three ways?
Why don't our brains work?
Work your bucket Sleyman,
why don't you sell it Sleyman.
Shut your pie hole,
geez enough I couldn't count the money
yap yap yap, and you shout at me.
You won't let me Sleyman,
here do it yourself if you think it's easy.
I don't think that is necessary.
What you doing baby girl?
Onur bro.
What's up?
Cam, my Cam
Good good you found yourself
a strapping brave young lad there.
Why you said that bro?
You would understand it
when you see Drdane bro.
Huussh, Onur, what you doing?
You will scare him away.
I am 18 already,
I will be a spinster.
Nah he won't run away yeah
you are right you are getting old...
Okay, take care, bye.
Brother Onur, you know this
Cem was madly in love with me.
He was always checking me out.
Let's go protect me my brave.
Have a nice day.
That is a bit hard around here.
Customer here boy, how about some attention right here?
customers like us
mam, we are watching the doctors leave us be.
I am in an operation right now
and you talk about sausage.
Whaaaa, do you see what I see lad?
Your daugther is taken it seems outrageous.
Soo I catch you red handed
I caught you.
You will die by my hand.
Mommaa. Mommaa.
Momma?
I won't let anyone squander my wealth.
Well he sprints really good.
Momma, you chased this one as well.
I lost track of the number of runaway husbands.
All you think about is a husband you insolent...
Can we please watch the doctors in peace here?
Thank god there is another
C'mon hurry the race begins
please win at least once.
You always bet on the donkeys.
Yeah yeah, make your fun of me pull my leg.
Wait till one of my scripts is made into a movie.
See then if I ever set foot back in here.
How pretentious of you.
Well the decesead was pretentious as well
all of us here ate his funeral meal together.
I am pretentious,
see I wrote a heist scenario
pretty unique, 5 million at least
thought about it, measured it, edited it
characters are ready
the locations are set, it is good to go.
Since you put so much time
and effort in measuring and editing it,
why didn't you plan a real heist?
Yep, why didn't you?
Make a real heist plan.
Allah Allah, you jackass.
Of course, You lad,
you write me a heist.
Where are you guys?
We hit the jackpot,
we are saved come sit, sit, sit down.
We are finally saved from
all this squalor and from Hacamat.
What happened?
Did you win at track?
No nothing like that,
we will commit a robbery.
Sod off, is that your great idea?
Robbery?
Nah relax he is just kidding.
Slo, I am dead serious my friend.
Dead serious,
brother we are setting up a business.
Yes, it would be prudent for you not to include
us in your further plans dear Onur.
Best of luck brothers, what business?
We will take the money you gave us
last night and use it as capital to sell
panties and bras in the bazaar.
Selling bras and panties.
Yep.
You are a bunch of small minded men
you are something else.
I will call Hacamat now and
I will say dear brother Hacamat
please calculate the part of debt
that falls on me and Slman
break it into monthly installments
and start paying it back got it bro?
and you act like you are big shots
I wonder what will happen
if it were 5 or more bucks.
C'mon get up brother get ready so we can leave.
How nice of you to come,
makrube of this place is famous.
Just like that, eat some get healthy.
Don't make makrube sad.
What does elders say? El anti zkkml mk...
vel minel zeynell blk te ante zkkml mk ve...
...inel erri namefi kallavi blk, it means:
If mouth eats it, the cock dances,
if mouth doesn't eat it, the cock sleeps.
Soo planning to be salesman at the bazaar.
God willing brother.
What does believer Onur says is this matter?
He thinks it is small business, yeah small job.
And what did you say? We said we are small too.
Yep we are small as well.
Now that is wrong quarter gold.
Can any man with 100 thousand
Euros of debt be a small man?
Man has a point nope he can't.
Of course he can't.
Take Polat outside for a while
get him something to eat.
Fill his stomach, pity alas.
Just like that, eat some more
get some meat on your bones.
Which body part of you should
I sic Hacamat on tomorrow?
We have belly.
What? I don't get it.
I will eleborate everything
when we get back home Slman, just you wait.
What gives fellow believers?
Couldn't reach a consensus like
social democrats.
Now brother Hacamat yes dear.
Now, you know, err this money now Hacamat brother.
Slman will tell everything now, go on.
Hit it Selim. Hit it, not like that on the back.
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm ok.
All good believer?
Fine now thanks.
For a moment I thought you were a goner look at me.
Don't make me look for another fiduciary.
Good.
Now tell me what you came to say.
What is there to tell you bastard?
Watch your tounge heaten Slman tell...
everything to brother Hacamat you heaten.
He will tell now.
What everything? Everything that you know.
I am all ears dear Now... now.
Hold that thought, I have to get this.
God bless whoever that caller was.
My blood pressure dropped. Why you little...
Selamnaleykm brethren, What is up?
This man is 6 hours overdue on his debt.
Ohh.
He is saying something like let me go to a bank...
...and withdraw some money but it is not clear.
Ohh.
Too much blood coming out of his mouth,
he might have internal bleeding.
Soo talk now brethren, we can hear you.
I removed his nails, cut off one finger
And we lost it can't find it anywhere.
Where you think you are going?
Brethrens you prepare him...
...get the equipment ready, I am on my way.
Bye selamnaleykm.
I am a firm believer in upholding one's promises.
A man must be like that Hacamat brother.
Man of his word.
Ok off we go and you be B.B.G.
Get up Slman, you faint so easily, so easily.
Wake up, stand tall, what is this?
He left the cheque to us...
Slman he left the cheque to us.
This is how they get rich I guess.
We will deduce it from 100k Euro.
My only brother whose
every word is as valuable as gold.
You have summoned me, what gives?
We will know good or bad
when we talk brethren Onur.
Selim.
Yes sire.
Would you take Polat out so he can pee.
As you wish brother.
Go together, get plenty of fresh air will you?
AVE aye.
Selim, chop chop, take Polat, c'mon go.
God bless brother it is like a zoo in here.
Cows and snakes and all.
What does the book say? What does it say?
Vel minel mahlukatl alaml hayran
vel teante gnl seyran.
Translated: He who does not love animals
can not love mankind.
That is correct, which book are we talking about.
Onur the faithful, what would you
like to eat? What do we have?
We have fried piner stick, would you like some?
Thanks brother, I have acid reflux.
It seems today is your feast day,
you feasted the boys and didn't tell me.
So they mentioned.
Yes they did, you sweated them pretty rough.
Say Onur brethren.
Don't you inform the brothers
on the severity of this issue?
Don't you tell them that
my Hacamat brother would rip your
flesh from your bones
and your bones from your skin?
I do all the time but
you see, one of these
didn't get enough mother's milk.
The other is an inbred they are a little slow.
Brother disregard those,
I have something important to tell you.
Vallahi.
May god strike me down.
Hopefully, go ahead
Man, where has he been?
It has been too long
Trust in god Slman,
whatever written here, shall come to pass.
Brother Hacamat, Selim, Polat.
When angel of death comes.
All will turn to Banu, get it?
Why you talking like that?
Creeping me out.
Why so gloom and doom all of
a sudden?
Don't rain on my parade, why
don't you listen to Onur, frank him.
Why don't you listen to me,
me your life long loyal friend.
I was there to catch you when you fall,
how many times have I saved your life?
Remember that one time you were riding a bike.
Coming down from a ramp full speed.
Blazing down, brakes blown.
Flutting your hair like that,
you had hair back then of course.
Ohh I had hair...
The point is the bike not your hair,
coming towards me.
Full speed, what did I do?
I stand in front of you
to stop the bike, you hit me so hard.
You stayed but I continued with the bike,
Shit happens.
For you, you are my brother my friend...
...and another time we were playing ball, remember?
You were kind of an oaf back then,
hit it right to the construction site.
I followed after the ball, entered inside.
A builder was holding the ball.
Enough Sleyman, no more.
It was bad.
Want me to put some tea...
...don't put, pour.
What does the book say?
Vel minel sedde nimetul zevk
vel teasevabl zerre,
Which means, it is a good deed
to enjoy every bit
of any given blessing.
Then according to book, we should lick.
There you go, Bismillah.
Chop chop.
Brethren Onur, as god is my witness
you convinced me in two minutes.
Oh no dear brother, please.
Give me a break, will you.
Hmm.
Now you set me up with one of this bazaar stands...
...and don't worry about the rest.
I said okey didn't I, Brethren Onur.
Are you planning to rob the bazaar?
Oh god no.
God forbid, it is all this icecreams.
Fault.
Getting talkative as one licks more.
May god have mercy and forgive us, say
Brethren Onur, I didn't
see you today on Friday prayer.
How weird, I was just...
...behind you to the right,
I start preparing from Thursday...
...for Friday prayers, please.
Allah Allah.
Vallaha.
Then lick away.
Let's lick.
If only I had the money to buy
Tokio, London, Paris, Malkara,
Kean, we have branches everywhere.
Come sister.
Dude, why did you wear that inside?
Do women wear it on the outside?
Are you a women for god's sake?
Best merchandise, here sister.
Can you put it in a plastic bag?
Of course my dear sister, 5 liras.
Come one come all 5 liras per piece.
Bless you sister.
I got to dash, excuse me.
Undressing? Where are you going?
Going to the wholesaler to buy merchandise.
I will get the prettiest
ones so we can sell better.
eto, open that.
Eyy, buy colored thongs and some lace.
Of course I will buy your size.
See you later.
See ya.
And on that note, what was that song?
If only I had the money to buy,
if only I had the money to buy.
Come one, come all
make your daughter happy.
Ve selamnaleykm verahmeturullah...
...ve bereketl, what's up brethrens?
You are in the cup business as I see.
Aleykm selam brother Hacamat sire.
What you doing here?
Isn't this the bazaar lad?
People come to find what they are looking for.
See, I too have finally found
what I was looking for.
Not like we are trying to
escape or anything, pardon me.
But I am getting a little oppressed here.
Can not take it anymore.
Shush, don't talk like that.
Stop poking me Slman, unhand me one minute.
Pardon me when I say brother Hacamat,
have I seen that box of candy?
I have not.
Slman one moment, Hacamat brother
have I eaten even one candy from the box?
I have not, have I spend the money?
Nope, I can not stand this anymore.
Enough is enough,I am sick
and tired of seeing you every day.
Like grim reaper.
For the love of god.
Pheew.
Selo, vacate the bazaar.
What does he say?
That we are hacked.
Quarter gold hold it, walk Polat away.
I don't want him to witness
what is about to happen.
Hacamat brother, are you pissed at something?
Once upon a time
a brethren was flying over Africa.
When his plane suddenly broke down.
They made an emergency landing inside the forest.
Praise to god, nothing happens to him.
While gazing into the woods he sees
an African tribesman walking towards him.
At that moment he says now I am fracked.
God forgive.
While thinking those, he has
a vision of a white bearded sage.
The sage tells him, don't be afraid son...
...don't you be afraid
he says, sage what should do?
He say, see that spear over there?
He replies, yes I do.
Take that spear and jam it
right through the heart of
The man at the forefront with colorful clothes.
He takes the spear
and jams it through the front man's
heart...
...at that moment sage tells him: My son.
Now... You are fracked.
Get the message?
It means: El lugatul hissiyat
el ante duhulul ass.
Ass?
What I am saying is if that tongue of yours
ever streches like that again,
I will rip it out and shove it up your ass.
Why you...
Does this brethren have a condition?
He is a bit sensitive on ass issues.
Hello.
Dancing for me.
You sly dog.
She loves you bro, she digs you.
Yesss, she loves me.
So you are saying that only way
out of this trouble is a robbery.
Correct.
But think it through guys
this is not my idea.
We did.
We might get caught.
Maybe.
Whatever happens at the end, you wanted this.
We wanted it.
Fine then.
Plan.
Spartacus, write Poyraz Beyi for that race.
Nah I'll go with Dila Hanm.
f you are so sure, why don't you write it?
I would but I have given up
on all this track and race thingie.
I hang at Firzaa till 3,
then tour cihangir and stuff.
Hang out with the crew you know, movie people...
...actors and all that.
If you need a scenarist, we have Hadi brother.
You don't say.
Really.
Greetings brother.
We will see if he has anything good.
Welcome.
Soo what is the clerks fault?
Did all four of them
enter to change money? What is the deal?
It is unique, it will work.
You say...
Now you hold your gun against the man
and shout: This is a robbery! Deal?
Onur, I have never hold
a gun in my entire life.
What if it goes off? What if I become a...
...murderer mere??
Why do you talk so naive?
It is a fake gun, not real.
So you hire a car and wait for us
outside the gates, ok? Don't forget.
Deal.
Natural born robbers
damn me.
I will get some fresh air.
What kind of a car are we talking about? cargo truck?
Pick up? Rims? Sound system?
Shut it Slo, where did he go?
Should I speak or shut up?
Speak please.
They went to the mosque.
Zip it, enough.
Scene 18, repeating it watch now.
He enters the exchange office,
you wait with the rental car...
...and I stake out at nearby cafe.
Ok but what about the can?
Next to which Turkish bath?
Onur welcome brother,
have you come to repent?
To atone for your sins?
Sinner no more?
Oh god.
Brother I knew you would
find the right path someday.
You know...
Praises to you Lord.
That I live to see this day.
Almighty god hear my voice, I beg you.
Hear my cries Lord.
Hear his voice.
If you excuse me for a second please.
Please.
Dear god, I have prepared a robbery plan...
...for these two morons. I am still planning.
What I want from you
is deliverance from the heist...
...that we will try to pull
with these knuckleheads.
Unharmed. And if it isn't too much,
a little extra on the side will do.
You know I love Leyla.
I would many her.
Sony for the unnecesarry intimacy.
Unwarry heaten.
Allah you are great, we beseech you.
Ya Rabbi ya Resulullah.
We have stooped down...
...to robbery, I concur with Onur here.
Thanks.
Partially, after we pay our debt
let us have a few bucks for ourselves
so we won't stoop even lower...
...than robbery.
My god.
What was my fault, my sin?
I rue the day I meet
these men.
Ya Resullallah
I want to part with them.
Grant me a pious life yarabbi ya resulullah...
...every day. Threats, fear of death...
...something every other day, Lord I am coming to you
Ya Rabbi ya Resulullah.
Sit down Slman, shut it, look what have you...
...done to this poor lad?
He was already a halfwit.
Now he is completely gone,
messed his head, become like you.
See what happened to him.
Amen.
Amen.
Selamn aleykm.
How may I help?
What do you think I look like?
I can not make it but I guess
you wore a stocking over your face...
...to avoid recognition.
Take a good look, who do I look like?
I got it now, you are a famous actor...
...hiding from papparazzi, right?
Have you lost it?
I want the money.
Okay, how much?
How much will you exchange?
A lot.
Okey give me the money...
C'mon give it.
What you looking at?
Air.
What ah? Where is the money?
What money? Here.
I got receipt.
Bravo, you will make the headlines tomorrow.
What will it say?
Big heist, to morons rob the exchange Office...
"and run away with 31 Euros.
So that fancy exchange office had only
a beggar, it would be better.
Don't say that Slman, see when I walked in...
...the clerk treated me like a normal customer...
...and I could not say
"This is a robbery".
I got confused, my head stopped.
Shame on you, you talk the talk...
yap yap yapie the yap,
but you can not walk the walk.
Like it was my 10th heist.
Why don't you do it if it is so easy?
Why me? Let Onur do it.
Why are we the robbers and he is the stakeout?
You are right, he should rob and we should stake out.
You should have said that while sharing the roles.
Whatever written in the script.
When we improvise,
We fail miserably, the dramatic construct collapses.
Keep your ideas to yourself.
Slman, why are you like this.
For god's sake,
you are such a crook,
you said something back then...
now you say something else.
Don't you raise your voice to me 31 euros.
Where is onur?
Over there, sitting at the cafe.
That bastard, staking out in the shade.
Move, master robber.
Come, come.
Selamn aleykm.
Aleykm selam, brother
what are we doing?
Aren't you aware that we are running
against the clock.
Onur, can we go over the script
once more brother?
Why? Haven't you all read and
memorized it?
No problem in memorizing
so, we practised, we practised at home
we practised here
indeed we did but
but this is not the way, if this is the
way, it won't be called a robbery.
Okey last time we study
on script
then everybody does his part.
What does it write here? Smart charismatic
and handsome one
stakes out at the cafe opposite the
exchange office.
As we can all understand, that is me
we know that
laying low in the shade, easy script.
He is right though.
Naive, bizzarely original one
enters the office
while the stupid one
ehem
the one playing the stupid
yes
charges into the exchange office
and points his gun at the man.
That is where I fall apart Onur
can't decide what to say when I get in.
Should I say this is a robbery or everybody
down or everybody out hand in the air
Can't play that part not convincing you see.
Convincing is important, convincing is
tantamount.
Alain Delon my ass, like you did everything
else perfectly but stuck on convincing.
Get inside, pull out your piece, hold it against
his head see if he is convinced or not?
See it
- He is right
and you wait for your buddy in the car
when he exits the exchange office
you take him in and floor the gas.
Don't you leave without me moron Sleyman.
He is not that stupid I hope.
Nah I won't forget him but there is another
problem, I don't have a drivers license.
Slo... Go.
Leave.
You say don't leave without taking him,
you don't come I forgot to stay
damn your knuckle head
Hello there.
Ohh welcome, you again
me again.
Welcome, what do you want?
I want money.
Which currency?
Dude this is a robbery
hold them hands up in the air.
Onur, I did it brother I robbed them.
Thief, Onur thief
Why you shout?
Thief here.
And you are?
Am I a thief?
Move move haul ass.
Rascal, bastard, you mined my life
who did you look up to?
Stop for the love of god, stop, stop in the name of god.
Don't you take god's name in vain.
Slman welcome brother, where have you been?
At the cemetery.
My poor brother, so you hid all the way
at cemetery out of fear.
What fem? I was there on mission
pour me some tea.
Victory tea.
What were you doing in the cemetery?
Shooting video for my last album.
I was hiding the money duh.
What money?
The money you lost to the thief.
How come?
I covered that brother.
Thief in here thief.
Bravo to you my brother.
Why did you hid the money in cemetery?
You just read your parts of the script
typical lead role. It was in the script
you asked us to study
so I did.
Curse you and all you do... move
let's go get that money.
What's the rush, I was hoping for a cup of tea.
Move it.
You rascal get up,
don't flatter yourself so quick.
Some team we got here
everything blows in my rear.
Heyyt
Heyyyt-
Keep moving
move, lad move.
Time spend in car was well received by all
who rejoiced the chance to switch scenery.
Selamn aleykm brother.
It almost took two hours to reach uhsane
but the trip was enjoyable.
It was a warm ad sunny day.
What's up brother?
All fine all fine, was just
passing by, thought to
myself I should get the money
while I was on my way.
What money?
The money you stole from the
exchange office today...
One that TV talked all daylong.
I wonder if those same TVs also mention that the
money was snatched by another thief
all day long?
Do you see dunce written over my
forehead, brethren Onur?
Brother Hacamat, if the heist
is on Tv...
Cops should be on their way to
catch them soon enough with disgrace.
Who knows who did it?
Don't worry, their faces could not be identified.
Whichever of you got in and pulled it
I don't know but he pulled
the operation quite brilliantly.
Forgive me if I may say,
why do you think it was us?
Let me put it this way brethren Onur
Which one of you numbnuts entered the office?
This one.
Good, let's go.
To';
I will feed to desert.
The already fragile defense system
of Fabel Mialen...
had acted cautiously out of fear of dissolving
based onsenkoloji, he mentioned.
He must conduct this investigation dilligently
or fabel might be devastated psychologically.
Brethren Onur.
Yes sire.
Why aren't you digging?
Since we have one pick and one shovel at hand
this was the optimum workload share.
Rzaa.
Be nice to Gll.
GUN??
Give me that, dig lad dig.
Easy toyboy of Gll, I found it.
Oh
Help your girl.
Here.
Hold.
What does the book say? El skkayil hayran
elmayl seyran,el hatl sevran... Meaning:
there are 3 beatiful things in the world, money
sound of flowing water...
...And this is?
Mozambik currency.
Something like Dolar or Euro?
Yep.
Yep how? It must be made in China
because it is worthless.
Then why did you steal those?
It was in the script, Scene 54
exchange office, midday.
Dude this is a robbery, put in this bag
god forgive me.
The mozambique currency.
C'mon hands up.
If you let me, come here dear
this way come come relax.
Here come.
Since we already digged them, let's go.
I will kill you.
C'mon guys stop, Onur stop.
Hacamat brother.
Don't do it Onur.
I will kill you, kill you.
As a conservative democrat
believer, I give everybody the right
to choose their own deaths.
Beautiful, cool.
May god be pleased.
Good.
Praise the Lord.
So go ahead and choose, what will it be.
Hmm.
Let's not ruin the line and start with friends.
Zip it and pull your destiny from the bag.
How can I
Pull it, pull
Yes brethren, let's start with you, go on.
It reads: Heavy stone
tied to foot here
may I command your attention here,
lam not killing anybody.
Esteemed person kills himself.
He is right.
Yes your turn brother.
Abandoned in a deep and bottomless
pit all alone, left to die.
Yes brethren Onur, your turn now, read it.
The esteemed brother is
carefully aligned to his birthplace and
err... bended over
and behind him...
I don't want to read the
rest of it to be honest.
Why? Where was your birthplace?
He is right.
You got the best one.
Yes.
Any friends not happy with
what he picked at lottery?
Regard, I said friends not brethren.
Yes Selim, we may start.
C'mon man what are you doing please
in the name of god please I beg you.
Please look at our situation
with some sense, you are imperialism,
you are capitalism, the
top of the food chain.
Also a liberal as well, thank god.
Absolutely undeniable.
Brother,
You are the man
Estafurullah.
You are, we are just small time
you will crush us with your superiority.
Estafurullah.
I say you give us, your brothers a helping hand
so we can try to
get bigger, say worth 150K Euros?
What say you?
are we supposed to pay that?
He is right.
Euros as well brother
God forgive, You bagged me once more,
you bury the others.
Sure we can.
One month is too long, 20 days or find
a horse to take a dump on me.
"Besides I still don't talk to you.
XoXo
Ahh hello.
Hi there dude, I was gonna call you.
Really, about what?
Have you ever showed this script
to anyone else before?
There is this producer Daver and then you guys.
Aww that is to bad, our producer heard about it
and believe me he is pissed.
You don't say.
You know the market, and this exchange office
heist take to little space
among the action I don't know
if it was a bigger heist...
considering the viewers.
Here you go.
What is this?
Awesome subway heist.
Pretty unique.
I get it.
It will go places.
Minimum.
Exactly.
Five millions.
Five five.
C'ya brother.
C'ya later.
I have met with our weird scriptwriter
he has written another heist.
C'ya later etin.
Come back you.
Onur brother, leave us out of it, you go solo
and do whatever your heart desires.
Don't involve me either brother, I don't
have the heart for it, I keep feinting.
But brothers, script is flawless
just read it once you will see.
Adventure of three goofy friends
you won't believe it.
This 3 goofy man somehow miraculously
manage to pull a heist at the subway.
What, subway?
Where should we put the train? Let's assume
we stole it, how will we sell it?
Is there a second hand train market, have you
ever heard of a place that sells uses trains?
Nah brother, impossible we will
definitely get caught.
Why are you the way you are?
Stop talking nonsense.
Onur brother, we are returning
to our origins now, get it.
And you should go and make peace with Leyla
pack your stuff and find a way to disappear.
What is this subway heist and all that
why always a robbery?
I concur brother, please go.
What about Hacamat?
Let's get some fresh air, I feel dizzy
Hacamat my ass, I rather die with
my honor then to live like this Onur.
Me too.
Come here where are you going
don't fret, I am in.
I wasn't afraid dude.
Selamun aleykm Hacamat brother.
Ve aleyna aleykm selam we
rahmeturullah we berekath, what's up?
Brethren you look like you saw a ghost
eyes almost out of their sockets and all that?
Nah brother Hacamat, we just feel a bit down
wherever we look
you turn around to face us all the time.
What does the book say?
El alg seki, selective attention
since you are in debt to me, my breath will be at your
neck until your debts
are paid of course.
What you staring at, get in the car!
What are you saying Slman?
Your voice got sucked to your ass
it seems from fear, what are you saying?
Hmm Hacamat brother, our friend here wants to know
uhmm just out of curiosity, he says where
are we going, Slman asks.
Don't tense up brethren, we will loose our stress
have a good sweat and relax.
Polat, Polaaaat, Polat, Polaaat.
Hacamat brother, how about
you don't sit like that, what you say?
Why brethren Slman has a phobia.
What does the book say?
El anteml kubbeyl
hamam tel mnel errullul vucutul sefam...
Which means: sweating in hotbath is
a good deed. Have you guys ever
wondered why they call me the Hacamat?
I got it, Selim.
Yes sire.
Bring me my tools.
As you wish sire.
Now...
This tool is called hacamat.
Now...
you will ask what does it do.
Well when you fail to pay up I will
use this on you personally
but a few words on it to sate your wonder.
Open your legs.
Now this hollowed tool has
razors on the top side, both sides.
This part is called the horn, when you
when you pull and release it catches the meat.
Bismillah.
My late father was a master of this tool,
may he rest in peace.
Hacamat brother.
Say it brethren.
May god rest his soul, may he join
his ancestors in eternal rest.
Amen.
How did your late father passed away?
My father was a pious man, he always helped
the poor and the down trodden
wherever he finds an unfortunate soul
he would take up on himself to take care
of him personally.
Wow easy brother.
Nah don't worry I'm just assessing
where I can make Hacamat bite.
God forbid.
Selim.
Yes sire.
As god is my witness I have an idea.
A real good one.
I say why don't we pump some air to
our brethren from their asses before they swim.
Stick in the pump and blow away away.
Air?
Air.
Makes sense.
So you can wrap your head around it.
Kinda.
Good good, why you little...
Soo I guess hot air isn't good for you.
He has a ath phobia.
What phobia?
Ath.
Do you have a B problem?
Noo I don't.
Slman enough you devoured my brain.
Slman enough.
I say stop.
Stop mooing like a cow.
Slman.
Look we didn't run into Hacamat today.
We are not telling this to Onur.
You started to creep me out
what happened to you mate?
I got it all but why don't we mention
seeing Hacamat to Onur
because I don't wanna fall deeper in the pit
that is called Onur the Heaten.
That's why, slman your phone.
Nah that is not my ringtone.
Can you watch x-rated movies through
KTunnel with that phone?
Mind your own business.
My own business?
Your own.
My own.
Dude.
Can it be Onur's phone?
Nah it is probably just a cat.
Moron, would a cat
meow like this seductively?
You are right.
You bet your ass I'm right.
Dude.
What if Onur heard what we were talking about?
It would be really awkward
say something.
Slman.
What are you up to?
Let's check if Onur is upstairs.
Good or bad?
eto.
What.
Do you think he heard what we said?
Dude can not hear his own ringing phone
don't you see?
Not a care in the world.
He can sleep in such a position.
How can he hear it?
Yeah sleeping like Banu All-can.
eto.
What.
What is that stiffness behind me?
Phone.
Will you get out?
Okey.
Playing wise?
You think you can outsmart the devil?
I know what to do with you.
Ooo when did you arrive?
Just now, were you home?
I dosed off, didn't even
realized you guys came.
eto brother, I am packing my stuff up..
...will hit the road shortly.
I don't wanna hear about it, Onur.
My brother did you take what I said seriously?
I would die before I let you go.
I would commit suicide.
Never mind him brother, even if he lets you go
I would not, shame on you.
Besides my love would be devastated
if she returns from holiday and can not see you.
Not a voice or any news of you
comes to me anymore.
I am stranded with my mad longing.
I got the blues
with a single 'Hi' from you.
I did what I did to myself.
A toy at the end,
fell in an unrequited love,
haven't changed that much, still a child.
Don't be a stranger, smile,
smiling becomes you.
Don't be cold like fall,
fall brings separation.
Don't be a stranger, smile,
smiling becomes you.
Don't be cold like the fall,
fall brings separation.
Do we have to loose our sleep
just because you make love?
Who is making love?
Bring me that slipper.
Okey okey I will, you get inside.
And you open the door.
Get inside girl.
I have read what you send
concerning the script.
Have you? So what do you think?
It is good, we are on the right track.
I'm glad, so can I have
a little advance payment?
What is the deal with this advance?
This word, advance kills me.
As you know, you can't do anything
without money, not so much as move.
Hold on, wait a minute.
While you were writing the script,
you were not going anywhere.
Hadi, you sit like this
in front of your desk...
...open your laptop...
strech your legs,
coffee on one hand, tea on the other,
vacation mode on. I pity most the money.
I give to you script writers!
I don't get it,
blow things out of your ass,
write out of thin air,
and get paid, nice!
If so Mr.Daver, I suggest
you blow it out of your ass,
out of thin air.
So you can avoid paying the scriptwriters.
Hadi, please Hadi!
Let me tell you a dramatic story.
I was young, dashingly handsome.
All the girls
are were shouting from balconies and rooftops
to me: Kwang, Kwang, Kwang!
Kvan?
That golden hair boy with sixpack.
The actor?
Yes that one.
...even when he was a baby,
they said he looked like me.
The girls used to get
a number from mayor's
office, just to eat cake with me.
I was quite popular.
Now, when you have
this much charisma in you
and such good looks, people give you
the evil eye. I was hexed.
I woke up one morning to see,
that all my hair is white and my beard gone.
Wrinkles around the yes, nothing to do.
In one night?
Yes, what, you don't believe me?
Nah, it may be true.
See, it is not that hard blowing things
out of your ass out of thin air.
Do I charge you any money for telling this?
Did I beg for an advance?
My brother bought something useful.
Easy, that is pepper spray maniac,
you will kill yourself!
What is this?
As written in the script.
Detergent for disabling the cameras.
What good is detergent?
Are we gonna do the laundry as well?
I am warning you for the last time...
Should you come back with
ridiculous amounts of money again,
I won't leave you guys to Hacamat,
I will finish you by myself.
Are you threatining us you anus?
What did you say?
I said anus.
What does it mean?
I will tell, but you will faint Slman.
Don't say it then, what does it mean really?
It means ass.
Aww c'mon, get a grip, get up.
Get a hold on yourself dude!
Wake up, get a grip!
Ohhhhh, get up, get up lad...
...brothers our first order of
business is, to enact what he
wrote on script in real life.
First, we control the security.
We will have full control.
The money collected
on subway toll booths, is gathered every
Friday to be sent to the bank.
All you have to do is, to disable
the security cams on our escape route.
This will buy us some time.
While you disable
cameras, I will walk into the security
room like a lost tourist and close the deal.
What are you doing?
Kneel so I can get on top of you.
What?
Slman get down, so I can get on your
shoulders, to disable the cameras.
Why don't you say so.
What did I say?
All kind of thing come to ones mind.
Okay, open your legs.
Slman, be careful, don't wiggle.
Slman hold it, watch it.
I will have a hernia.
A little to the front.
Good, hold it here.
eto?
What?
Squeeze your legs a little more,
so I can suffocate and die down here.
Slman I'm trying to balance myself.
To hell with your balance,
what is this heat on my neck?
Slman, you must have sweated a bit.
Come a little forward.
Steady Slman,
I'm trying to hit the camera.
Frank your balance and camera.
Slman what you doing, mate?
Slman hold it, look...
SEW, where are you going?
Hello there Mahmutcan.
Fine.
Welcome brother akir, how are you?
lam good, really good in fact.
Brother, we will get caught someday, I tell you.
We will be neck deep in serious trouble.
You don't complain while
pocketing the cash, do you?
Have you ever heard of a more secure
room then the security room?
Nope. They will come with the merchandise,
trade it with money, walk in the park.
Slman lower me.
Do you think I'm moving for fun?
Hold still!
Lower me like that slowly, one, two, ok.
Slman let go.
what happened?
My belt got stuck, hold.
If you come like that, like a comet.
Slman don't piss me off!
Remove it, unbuckle.
What you think I'm doing?
Hold still!
God forgive me, Slman.
There is something hard behind me, what is it?
Phone, it is the phone.
Telephone is here, and something hard persists.
I don't know it.
ls my money ready?
Of course it is ready.
Don't you worry..
"We will earn so much more from thig gig.
Trouble at platform 13, respond quickly please.
Slman don't do it fast like that.
Everybody is looking at us doing it.
It does not come off,
what you looking at sister, what?
Pervert!
Who you calling a pervert? He is my brother.
God forgive me,Slman come over here.
I dropped the pepper spray.
That will not do, eto.
Selamn aleykm,hello.
Good day to you, kalimera, hi, hooo.
Metro is at god's mercy it seems.
I'll be damned.
What you know, my favorite person
Abraham Lincoln...
eto I can't untangle,
they are locked in, how can I undo it?
What are you doing you perverts?
Ahh don't spray it, easy!
Urgent, send in backup, I repeat backup.
I heard there was an incident at metro.
And I came immediately, spill it.
Sergeant, err, they said,
there was an emergency, so we wondered
and came to take a look.
We don't know anything else.
Bring me the security footage of the room.
The cameras on this section
are networking my sergeant.
They were supposed to come today,
not functioning.
You have been a security
chief for all these years,
and you did not understand
what was going on in here?
Well, when we heard the call,
we responded immediately.
But these guys have made quite a mess around.
Sergeant, this may sound a bit cliche,
but we are truly innocent.
Ohh dear, then what is this, eyy?
I was carrying the detergent,
eto was carrying that.
I was carrying it in my pocket like this.
Put it down, it is an evidence.
When this evidence
fall out of my pocket my sergent,
I reached to grab it, to lift it of the ground.
Then this huge monstrosity...
Wow, wow, wow!
This monstrosity?
Yes,came out of nowhere,
held my finger like that,
and twisted this way.
I turned and then we all burned.
This pretty much summarizes it.
What is this doing in your pocket?
Chinese knock off, all because of
that Mozambiques, they are no good.
Mozambiques you know.
Mozambique money.
And there is shitloads of it.
Onur said,
they are no use and no good.
What do I know of Mozambiques.
Ask that to the scriptwriter.
Mr.Onur, not me.
Onur? Who the hell is Onur?
That rascal Onur corrupted
this poor Slman as well.
When we were at the cemetery that night,
I raised my hands "euz bilahi
mineeytanirracim
bismillahirrahmanirrahim" I prayed.
But if I ever saw that candy box,
or eat even one candy from it,
may god strike me blind,
never to see light again, my sergeant.
Onur claims innocence as well,
but I don't trust anything
he says but God is one.
You too think that he ate from the
candy box too, don't you, that heaten Onur,
right sergent?
He surely did, but I vouch
for this poor Slman that
has nothing to do with any of this.
We decided to sell panties
and bras at the bazaaar, poor thing.
I said I'm with you,
let's sell panties and bras.
I even wore a bra inside, true story.
Panties, bras, candy, candybox...
What in nine hells
are you talking about?
When he made me custodian over them...
I mean he entrusted them to me, I had to
get in the job.
See, they have eaten the candy,
and for eating the candy...
Don't talk plural Slman,
I will strangle you, don't talk plural.
They have totaly lost it, Father Riza.
Call me Father Riza once more
and I will beat you in Baal-sally.
Go find me this Onur scoundrel
A.S.A.P., go now!
And don't wear those loose pants.
Get out of my sight. What the hell?
We were discussing something private sergeant.
Ohh, can'); on then.
All of you out, out, out.
Slman, I was defending you here, dude.
Now dear sergeant, Slman and eto
are as clean as water and soap,
pure boys both, no harm to anyone.
What about you my dear Onur?
How clean are you?
Well, I am getting okey so far.
Ohh dear Onur.
Sergeant, if you have any evidence to lock me up,
please do so, I believe in justice.
No answers there it seems,
parked the car in an awkward place,
soo long, see you around!
Good day.
Onur dear, why is the money in hospital?
How many times do I have to tell you,
outside was crawling with cops...
...it would be risky to get out with money.
So I jumped in the ambulance.
Uncle, uncle, oh my uncle. Uncle!
Relax sire.
How can I be? He is half a dad to me.
Don't hold me please, for the love of god!
Uncle!
Who are you?
Who am I?
My uncle is having a concussion it seems.
Give him oxygen, ohh my poor uncle.
Get him in, get him!
Oh my dear, oh my uncle, go on,
go, go, go my uncle...
...my uncle, god, ohh my dear uncle...
...he is like a father to me.
Sit down, close the door,
close it, close it, selamn aleykm.
Once inside the hospital, I entered
morgue and put the money inside an empty coffin!
Tomorrow morning we will go to the morgue,
get the coffin for burial, I mean our money!
God, god send me that ambulance.
Onur, I bet my reputation
that you pulled something at metro.
I am sure.
Please my sergeant,
mother... Continue Cemil.
Sire, the man used the metro for a week,
in a regular fashion.
...but nothing to arouse suspicion...
...if there were any, I would have
noticed it anyhow.
In a week he practically
used the metro every hour.
Check the times,he wanted
to check every hour window.
There must be something.
Sire, the metro isn't
a lucrative spot for robbers anymore...
People are not using money anymore but tickets.
What will they do? Steal the smart tickets?
And no other reports than the assault.
I would have noticed,
if there were any other reports.
And once I notice it,
I would have put them in custody.
Here Cemil, don't use hair gel anymore, Cemil.
Don't rattle it dude.
Sergeant, they came to hospital,
they took a coffin,
loading it to funeral car.
I think they will go to cemetery
with the funeral car.
Roger that, I am on pursuit.
Onur, Onur what are you up to?
What is up with hospital
or funeral? I will find
out what you are up to,
or my name is not Storm Riza.
I feel, that you are up to
no good and I will prove it.
But what is this rascal doing in the hospital?
I remember this great movie I once watched sire.
3 buddies pull of a big robbery.
Then they place the money in the
nearest hospital's morgue.
When it all settles down and is quiet,
they went into the morgue,
inside the coffin...
I got it. They put the money
in the morgue in the hospital, then
take it out of morgue in a coffin.
See how I found it?
Sargent, I envy your great intellect.
Easy, easy lads.
Let's go and throw a few shovels of earth...
And say our prayers lads, it is customary.
Here we go. Wait, wait.
Hodja,my uncle willed to be
buried with a coffin.
I would appreciate, if we honor his will.
Pfff, we are screwed.
End of the line Onur.
What's up sergeant?
You didn't see it coming, did you?
End of the road Onur, the end.
I have no idea what
you are talking about right now!
You will. Onur you will!
Open the coffin!
No I forbid it, you can't open it,
he is my uncle, my uncle.
Open the coffin, open it.
Tvbe yarabbi tvbe bismillah.
What the hell?
What is this?
I can't believe it!
So do I.
What is this?
My strapping uncle has gone,he is gone!
Where to?
God knows it Slman.
Only god knows, whether heaven or hell.
I'm not talking about that dude.
Talk some more and
where we headed will be certain.
Sergeant, for the love of god and prophet,
you have seen my uncle.
If you have any respect for the dead,
let us burry him.
For the love of god.
Condolences.
Thank you.
Onur.
Yes.
I got my eyes on you.
Sure, sure.
Move.
C'mon.
His uncle has passed away.
Hodja, if everything is in order,
I say we bury him quick.
Police are leaving.
I see.
What are they up to this time,
those charlatans?
What they are up to?
No good for sure.
Wait a second,
what are they doing here?
We will see Selim.
Hospital, cemetery, I feel depressed.
Holy Quran, dude.
You were doing just fine
in Turkish bath, weren't you Selim?
Estafirullah, brother.
Selim, are your parents related?
How can they not be,
they are husband and wife.
Dude, how the hell did we
manage to get the wrong coffin?
You should be glad that we did,
what else you want?
Ohh, we might as well belly dance together
when Hacamat comes, knocking.
Ahh, there is that,
the Hacamat, we forgot him.
C'mon mate, c'mon.
Judging from their hurry,
it seems they lost the money again.
You tail them now.
I talked to the women,
she will bring the coffin soon.
Don't blow it!
And our angel of death arrives.
A bit late.
Selamn alekym we
rahmeturullah we bereket.
Aleykm selam brother.
Aleykm selam.
Soo brethren Onur, here we are,
mano a mano, quarter gold...
...tell me, what mischief is going on in here?
God forbid brother, welcome,
what mischief?
Cut the crap, quarter gold.
Where is my money?
Uhhhhh.
Selim.
Put em down.
As you wish sire.
Stop, stop easy, she arrived.
She is here, she is here.
Sony for your loss.
May he rest in peace...
...may he reside in heaven.
Come sister.
Amen to that.
Where is the coffin, sister?
He always wanted to get cremated.
We honored his last wish, here you go.
Son of a deceased...
eto?
Yes?
I'm feeling sick.
Why?
Don't know which part of the decased hit me.
If you are feeling sick, it must be his ass.
Onur.
Yes brother?
Where is my money brethrens?
Well, it is a surprise for us as well,
his will was to be cremated
after his demise, what can you do?
What does the book say?
t says 'elamanl kill ta velhakl kullu,
kullu kuuul'...
...quarter gold, bring me that book.
Ahh getting old, can't remember
everything all the time.
That is the one with stories, give the other.
See what does it say here.
It says: 'yel ental mefta
hlhfee ya gnahl meftai
...sefta', meaning,
if you want to torture someone,
leave him alone with his sins.
Therefore I gave up the idea of torturing you.
I will instruct Selim to pop one in your skulls.
Then, I will cremate your
bodies in a furnace and drop
the ashes to deep and cold
waters of the Bosphorus.
You will take your places in history as 3 Turks,
that jumped from the Bosphorus Bridge.
That is superb, may god be praised.
Idiot eto, are you listening with your ass?
He is going to kill us,
burn us and throw us from the bridge.
Stupid Slman,
would you prefer he burned us alive?
Assume he didn't burn us,
would it be better if
he threw us down the bridge,
while we were alive?
I don't know how to swim.
Me neither.
I never thought this way, you are right.
How good and dandy it all started.
Started like a Turkish movie,
ending it like an Indian one.
All that money was tot good to be true anyhow.
All a dream.
Idiots, who robbed the exchange office?
We did.
Who robbed the metro in broad daylight,
like taking candy from a kid?
We did.
It means, that we are capable men,
who can find any amount of money
anytime we need.
He is right.
Such men are not easy to find.
And now here you are,
talking about killing such
valuable men, it won't do.
So you are saying, they can do so much more,
get more mileage out of them?
Exactly my point.
Okey then, let's tell Selim,
to pop one in your skull then.
Oh no, as you know,
no matter how good the machinery is,
...it won't function without a motor.
Tvbe estafirullah, Onur brethren,
you are such a hollowed creature,
calling yourself motor
and all that I am out of words.
You managed to trick me again in two minutes.
Should we eat the ice cream?
Another time.
Why, maybe I want to eat.
Another time maybe.
Okey then, M.G.W.O Y.
Off I go, see you later.
Where is he going?
To Leyla.
Ohh, he loves Leyla, don't you know.
No shit Sherlock, nothing escapes your
keen observation skills, of course he does.
He is a bit silly though.
Whatever happened to us, it is all his fault.
Don't talk behind his back mate.
Deep down, in the core, he is a good man.
Remember our dorm days,
he took quite a beating for us.
Do you remember...
...a kid came to you, a shorty,
and said bastard to you, mouthful.
Yes.
You were stunned,
couldn't do a thing, you were shocked.
...Onur came and bam kapoww,
kicked his ass to the curb.
I remember, he beat him.
And then he was suspended from school.
For us.
My brother!
We are brothers dude. eto,
who do we have but each other? As god is my
witness, whatever you say about him,
he is a good man.
Indeed.
But we don't talk about these near Onur.
Why?
He becomes a spoiled air head.
You are right.
He is our brother.
eto, who do we have
but each other for god's sake.
Selamn aleykm brethren Onur.
What is this about at this ungodly hour?
Not good news for sure Hacamat brother.
I will give you my two cents.
You know our Slo and eto..
...they are not my friends, no,
they are my brothers.
My breath, my heart.
If I fall today,
they will lift me up.
If I get cold, they are fire.
If I am on fire,
they are water. What I am trying to say is,
don't touch my friends.
Don't touch my Slo,
don't touch my eto.
If anything
happens to them,
I who had never even hurt an ant,
swear an oath on all that's holy,
I will lay you down
and I won't even look back.
So you will lay me down and would not even
look back, is that it, brethren Onur?
I didn't mean that, would I ever
walk away from you or make you upset?
I am nothing without you,
without you even dogs won't eat me.
God forgive, you might as well
sing a song while you are at it.
Let's not get carried away,
songs won't be manly.
her dress looks like red, coming for you.
Her peach tastes like honey,
her peach tastes like honey..
I would have sang better if it wasn't
for the one with shovel, he creeps me a little.
Brethren Onur, I wonder,
do you have any bones in your body?
If my head passes, my body will follow it
wherever I go, like a mouse.
C'mon, don't stand there like cows,
start your breakfast.
You come as well, comb Hasan.
Enough combing lad,
put it in your pocket.
Don't start my brother Sl, don't.
God knows what this heaten
is up to, what sins
is he trying to lure us into?
Stop babbling, lets say our prayers
and open shop, shall we?
He said prayer? Did you hear that?
Slman, did you hear him saying prayer?
Onur, if you have
another heist planned, please tell,
so I can adjust my psychology.
Are we thief s, dude?
What heist.
Forget heists, Hacamat and all that shit,
it was a dream and we woke up.
Allah Allah.
Oh, Leyla is calling.
Leyla, my delicate flower,
honeylips, my love, what are you up to?
My love, my only desire,
my beloved, hihi, god forgive me.
Brethren Onur,
you are one holy romantic man.
Pardon me, but what is
Leyla's phone doing in your hands?
Don't panic brethren, relax,
I'll give her the phone she will explain.
Onur,
Leyla my love are you all right?
Are you ok? Have they done anything to you?
She is fine, we haven't done
anything to her, yet. This does not mean
we won't though, brethren.
I hope you got our message.
...as it says in the book
'telaardn indi vel mentu muminl bin...'
It means a believer should know how to get down,
like he knows how to get up.
...with god's blessings,
I will make vanison out of that lamb.
Onur, what's going on, I am afraid.
Hello, Leyla?
Onur.
Leyla, are you alright deaf!
Have they done anything to you?
I am fine Onur, but who are those men?
They dragged me into a car
in the middle of the street,
than released me after talking to you.
I will soo frank them sideways.
Onur, I am terrified, please come.
I will come love, I will come,
never to leave again.
But you have to give me
a couple of days now love. You go home now.
Close your cellphone and go home.
What is happening?
No stop, stop, stop.
Selamn aleykm.
Aleykm selam brother, what's up?
Did the producer like the script?
Forget about producer and script
and answer me this one.
How much money tops
can you get from a metro heist?
Why are you asking me this?
Everybody who rides the metro has this
Akbil thingie now, the smart ticket.
They click and go, click and go. No money is
deposited in the safe at the end of the day.
And you say, I researched before I wrote.
How the hell can I trust you dude?
What is it to you about
the cash in the safe bro?
This is a script, an
absurd comedy one at that.
Frank money dude,
I got nothing to do with money.
This is producers piece of mind,
lam just relaying it to you.
Soo, the producer didn't like at that much?
Not as so much not like,
but he says a heist with bigger loot
would enthrall the audience and such,
you know what I mean.
That's easy bro, here, original.
At least 5 milion.
...a mint heist...
Ohh really original.
If there would be a problem with the name,
we will produce it with title. I name 'thee mint'.
If that doesn't work, how about
'Turk's struggle with mint?
Good.
Dude, P.S., mother's milk is crucial
for the first 6 months.
I now present our esteemed counsellor
to the lectern with your applause.
Greetings.
Counsellor is here, if we are caught,
we will rot in jail.
Onur, I was a fan of your intellect.
Now I am extra impressed.
I am sure this place was empty
the whole year around,
and you pick this day with counsellor
and all to pull the heist.
This robbery and heist thing
is not our cup of tea anyhow.
Let's walk away brother, c'mon.
Stop yapping dude, you made my head hurt.
Did I call the counsellor?
Besides, we can use this situation
to our advantage, while all eyes are
on the counsellor,
we will sneak in unnoticed to the mint.
C'mon follow me, go, go.
Here we are following this rascal again,
why do we do this?
Move, move.
Onur.
Yeah.
What the hell are we supposed to do now?
We will first sneak into staff room...
"change our clothes,
than we will mingle with them.
We should at least wait for
the counsellor to leave, it would be rude.
Yes, it would go down on his record.
Frack his record, for god's sake,
get in brother, what are you doing?
Door is already open, what are you doing?
Come... Come over.
Onur.
What.
Where is the money, where is the gold?
This son of a gun scriptwriter
fooled us again, I tell you.
How would I know mate,
look around, someone is coming.
Pretend to work. Someone is coming.
Yes, yes intensify the red,
yes intensify the red a little, attention.
Honorable counsellor,
this is our printing unit.
As you were friends.
Thank you, thank you.
How long have you been working here?
Now dear counsellor,
actually we are networking here.
I mean, we just started working,
we don't exactly do this procedures.
You would give me credence if you knew
my story and all that facts of life.
We are originally 3 buddies,
we have Onur who is a bit of a rascal.
This one is Onur.
He is the one who got is into all of this.
He took us to an exchange office one day.
I took my gun out there
and said "Give me the Mozambique currency now",
...from there to cemetery,
this poor soul fainted there,
...got dirt all over him, then came who?
The mafia, Hacamat...
...he had a lamb named Polat.
I talk to Polat.
But I can't talk to Selim,
the man in the suit,
carrying a shovel all the time,
he named the shovel Gll.
This one called her aunt-in-law Gll.
He beat me with that shovel... A lot.
Dear counsellor, and here we have
graphic design section, let's take a look.
As you were guys, take it easy.
Onur got us in all this dear counsellor,
and it all got tangled up.
And after that my counsellor,
Shut up!
And no insurance.
Frack your insurance man.
Really, frack you and your insurance.
Soo what we gonna do now?
Soo what we gonna do,
we screwed up we are leaving.
You literally scared
the man away by talking brother.
Isn't there any money around here?
Here money, see.
Yap, Yap, yap, yap, like an engine.
Move.
Holy shit, this is gold men.
Ohh we are saved.
Yes.
Move bro, move.
Dude, what are you doing here?
You scoundrels, I am here for
what you are here for.
So you wiseguys were
enacting my scripts in real world.
How did I bust you, eyy?
We actually reserved
one of the sacks for you dude.
What will I do with that?
Am I a thief like you?
Leave those sacks to the ground now.
C'mon put them down, look at me.
I should turn you guys in,
but we have a history...
...so I won't report you.
Bravo Hadi, bravo brother.
I congragulate you.
You are the man, we are sinners,
but you turned out to be a real believer.
Stop confusing my head, leave the sacks,
brothers, leave them.
What did you do?
What the hell did you do?
Run dude, run.
Move, run.
Easy hooo, easy.
Just pullover a car, damn.
Selamn aleykm brethren,
hope I didn't make you wait too long.
Aleykm selam brother Hacamat,
no, you arrived just in time.
Since you are here and the gold is here,
we will give them to you
and be release from our debt and bondage.
Give them, give of course,
would I ever offend you?
But dear brother, among them
is a hefty sum belonging to us as well.
I would like to mention that.
Well brethren Onur, we will not
split hair over such figures.
Look here look, take this brethren.
Soo this is the gang, I caught you,
all red handed this time, you are done for.
We are screwed.
You will spend the remainder of your days
together in a cell block.
Told you, I will get you, didn't I Onur?
May god smite you down Onur.
Cemil.
Sergeant, these are
decomissioned coins, no longer in use.
What?
I mean they are out of circulation.
They would be in circulation if they weren't taken out.
Cemil, do not wear those shoes again.
Sergeant, we are in movie business now
and we needed props for it.
That's why we did it I mean.
Yes sergeant, scene 76/mint,
midday take 075.
Indeed, I am chief of production,
art director and an actor.
Sergeant, they are thief s.
They did it.
Sergeant, the thief s were apprehended
with the gold they stole.
So these guys didn't do it?
These one made it sergeant,
they are the ones.
Hadi, so he looted the mint while,
we arranged for the props.
They commited the robbery, I am innocent.
I can not articulate enough.
Who is a thief? You are the thief.
You are the thief you rascal!
Who you calling a thief?
Get the hell out of here now, move.
Get out.
Relax.
Who is this?
The thief sergant.
I will get you one day Onur.
Of course.
You know it.
Sure.
We will meet again.
Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
Selim, shoot them.
Of course sire.
Stop, stop it dude, stop.
What?
Brother, here is my proposition, give us a month.
If we won't bring you 250K Euros,
my god strike me down where I stand.
Euros I say as well.
A muslim should believe a Muslim.
Tvbe estafirullah, release them.
What's up?
What are you doing here?
We have been real assh...s to you brother,
we understand that.
But we can't sleep peacefully at night dude.
What? Whenever I pass by your room, you sleep
like a bunch of bears in hibernation.
Yes.
Believe us, that we are mentally upset,
could not get a shuteye
because of you, I swear.
Yes.
I am deeply sorry; to bother you
like that brothers, sorry.
It is ok, we will survive, but more important
than that is, we made a decision.
What decision?
We will jailbreak you out of here.
What you say? How will you do it?
You write a script, the rest is easy.
Ohh that is easy, here, original unique.
Is there Hacamat in it?
Well, we will talk about it.
If he is in, I am out, I am afraid,
he says something and I feint.
He says ass and he passes out.
Original you say.
It will be ok.
At least 5 million you say.
ORB)'-
Between us brother, you got an ass
like a public library, where we can find
anything we need.
Dude.