You seem worried,
Mr. Marx.
No, sir. I'm not worried
at all, sir.
Ok. Let's check
your application.
Your father's
a doctor.
Yes, sir.
He's a plastic sur...
Reconstructive surgeon.
Gerald Marx.
Mass general.
Top man.
Your mother, also.
Mom's a psychiatrist.
Your sister, too?
She's on staff at
the children's hospital.
Good.
Excellent genes.
Let's see how
your grades stack up.
86 average.
How did you
get in here?
Please, sir, no.
We require a 95,
Mr. Marx.
Fall semester we're
admitting two boys
Who are perfect 100s.
Two perfect boys. Come on.
So I'm not
a perfect boy,
But I'm not
Quasimodo, either.
Don't take it
personally, nitwit.
Every year
50,000 students
Apply
to medical school.
There's only room
for 15,000.
You don't understand.
You've got to accept me.
My parents will be destroyed.
They're counting on me
to be the next dr. Marx!
Who gives a shit?
We can't have
second-Class minds
Running around
in smocks.
Being a doctor
requires the ability
To make life
and death decisions.
Life and death.
You want life and death?
I'll show you
life and death.
Mr. Marx! Mr. Marx!
I'll show you life and death!
What are you
doing?
I'll show you...
Help!
Mr. Jeffrey.
Aah!
Ahh!
It's dinnertime,
Mr. Jeffrey.
How could
this happen?
It's over.
The legacy is dead.
It's not too late
to have another child.
Was that remark
supposed to be amusing?
You think it's amusing
That you've been
turned down
By every medical school
in the united states!
A sense of humor
is a wonderful tool, Jeff,
But I for one don't know
any funny physicians.
His problem is
That he doesn't take
anything seriously.
Because he doesn't take
himself seriously.
Phone call,
dr. Gerald.
Long distance.
You know what
your problem is, kid?
You've got...
you've got no drive,
no ambition,
No passion
for anything.
What happened, Jeff?
We know
you have the brains.
It takes extraordinary
will and desire
To become a doctor, Jeff.
Maybe you don't
want a medical career.
Is that it?
You have a choice, you know.
Like prince Charles
has a choice.
Stop avoiding, Jeff.
You want to be
a doctor or not?
You can
tell me the truth.
No.
Ahh.
Are you all right,
mother?
Mon, who knows? Maybe there's
something else I want to do.
I don't know. I never
dared think about it.
All my life you
expected me to be a doctor.
For my fifth birthday
I begged you for a fire engine.
You gave me an ambulance.
Do you understand
what I'm saying?
I never had a choice.
I did it!
I found a school
that will take him!
He made it!
We can all relax.
That's wonderful.
It's the luckiest
day in our life.
See, Jeff?
It was meant to be.
Yuh... um.
Yeah, uh, great.
Great, dad.
Good job. Excellent.
Where, Miami?
Farther south.
South of Miami?
It's gonna cost me
an arm and a leg,
But you'll have
a degree in four years.
South of Miami?
Ladies and gentlemen,
we have landed in San Vicente.
Please remain seated
until the pilot
Brings the plane
to a complete stop.
Momemto.
Hey!
Hey!
Stay away from him!
I told you guys
those Americans are mine.
Come with Pepe.
Stay away from those
guys. They're robbers.
They take you miles
out of your way
And they'll
charge you double.
Me? I'll take you
right where you're going
For the same price.
Thanks!
Is this Valencia?
No, no.
This is the suburb,
Valencia heights.
It's more expensive
to live out here
But you get
what you pay for.
I'm telling you,
Valencia's got everything
you'd possibly want...
Theaters, restaurants.
You like to eat?
You like roast beef?
See that restaurant
over there?
Let me tell you, the best
fried roast beef in the world.
If you like movies,
we got three great movies
Playing right now.
I know that looks just like
a piece of wood to you,
But that table has
been in my family
Since the American civil war.
And watch how you handle
that big trunk.
Those are my pills.
Hello.
Is someone in here?
Oh.
Oh, my god.
Oh, I can't live here.
Shh...
uh!
More filth!
Thanks a lot, dad!
Gee!
Ooh!
Ooh, god.
Ooooh! Ooh!
Steady, amigos!
That's a hockney,
Not a Christ on velvet.
Gladstone.
Marx.
Fellas, wait for me.
I'll get the door.
Momentito.
Ok.
Hola.
Hi, can I help you?
Hi, yeah. I'm Jeff Marx
from across the hall.
Hi. Cookie Katz.
What's the matter?
You're shaking.
There's a bug or a roach
or something in my bathroom.
So, step on it.
It's bigger
than my foot.
Classes
are overcrowded.
It's two
to a desk.
The lab equipment
is outdated.
The school has
only one cadaver.
It's the same one
they've been using
Since the place
opened.
It is really gross.
The school sounds like
a joke. Well it is,
But the degree is real.
Garcia!
Presente!
Peters!
Presente!
Fuega!
Presente.
Luis!
Presente.
Bolivar!
Presente.
Rivera!
Presente.
Rodriguez!
presente!
Juan Rodriguez.
Presente!
You must be Raul?
Presente.
Parker!
Presente!
Woo!
Woo!
Marrex.
Marrex.
Heffrey Marrex.
I think that's you.
Oh, I'm...
what's my name again?
Just say presente.
Presente.
The culture shock
can kill you.
Last year,
two Americans
Got in a fistfight
over time magazine.
No.
Yeah. Actual hitting.
You know, of all
the foreign students
That came in last year
I'm the only one left.
Well, you might be
the only one left
After this year, too.
All shoes must be black,
Marrex.
Keds are not
regulation.
Yeah, well, I didn't get to
that regulation yet.
I'm only on
page 600.
Two demerits.
Thanks a lot,
Sandoval.
Demerits?
It's like cub scouts.
Yeah, well,
you better be careful.
You're only allowed
10 a semester.
Buenos dias, amigos.
Hey, Carlos!
Everybody,
this is Carlos.
Buenos dias,
Carlos.
Sit down, man.
Gracias.
Hola.
So, where you
from down here?
Bronx.
What? The Bronx. I don't get it.
New York.
I'm Puerto Rican.
You're from New York?
Shh! Shh! Shh!
I thought you
were a native.
Shhh!
Good. I'm passing.
See, foreign students like you
have to pay $15,000 a semester.
Locals like me,
we pay $3,000.
$3,000?
You're the only one
Getting your
money's worth.
Yeah, well...
who runs
this asylum?
You're sitting
under him.
Ow!
Be careful next time.
Those pants
are too loud.
The pants
are too loud.
esqueala...
my hombre...
The heart
is all wrong.
His heart is all wrong.
like a lolado...
like a lo...
Shh!
Madera, Madera
mi Madre, mi padre
Madera, Madera
Oh, my god.
What happened?
He fainted.
Is he all right?
It's ok, I'm a nurse.
Stop!
You don't hit a man!
I know
what I'm doing.
Excuse me...
that's enough school
for today!
what was
that? What happened?
Sunstroke,
I guess.
Hey, I'm Jeff,
Jeff Marx.
Liz, Liz parker.
Hi.
Nice to meet you.
You live
over the dorms?
Yeah.
Great
accommodations, huh?
Yes, they're nice.
Very nice.
Um, you want to go
grab some coffee
Or some bottled
water or something?
No, no, I've got too much
studying to do.
Well, it's the first
day of school.
You know
what they say,
All work
and no play.
Yeah? That's what
I say, too. Bye-Bye.
So tell me, Ortega,
Why do I get
these dizzy spells?
What happened just prior
to getting dizzy?
Can you discern
a pattern?
No.
Is there something
you're not telling me?
How long have you been
a widower, Ramon?
Since my wife died.
That's five years ago.
Any women in your life?
My mother.
I meant in a
romantic sense.
No. The pure ones
are too young.
The rest are loose.
Any lovers?
No.
Whores?
Tsh!
Do you masturbate?
You're
a degenerate!
You know, in England,
Many Victorian women
experienced dizzy spells
Thought to be a result
of sexual repression.
This is
your diagnosis?
So now you're
Sigmund Freud.
My religion
forbids fornication
Outside of marriage,
As does yours,
dr. Ortega.
And now, if you're
quite finished,
I must go.
Ramon.
Ramon!
Mother, mother,
let me help you.
Here, mother.
Come.
Where would you
like to sit today?
On the porch.
On the porch.
On the porch we go.
Ughh!
Bye.
Good-Bye, Ortega.
When will you
be home?
After school.
Good-Bye.
What the hell is he
talking about here?
Oh!
Oh!
Aah!
Whoa! I got you.
You all right?
I think we should
begin pueblo day...
That's what I call
my field trip idea.
Pueblo day.
Because, we'll be going into
a pueblo village.
You see, we send the
students to a village,
Bringing medical aid
to the peasants.
It's humanitarian.
And the publicity
will make us
The most famous school
in Latin America.
I feel...
What do the American students
think of my school, Gomez?
What?
Don't you
listen to me?
Sandoval reports
They feel the classes
are too slow.
One student referred to it
as a Mickey mouse school.
Mickey mouse?
The cartoon mouse?
That's the only
Mickey mouse I know.
Who said this,
the girl?
Which girl?
Parker, the one
who slapped me.
Oh. No, it was
one of the boys.
I feel that pueblo
day should begin
With a great speech
by you.
Then we will
send the students
Into a village
Where they have
never seen a doctor
Before
in their lives.
Slow?
What?
They think that we're slow,
They think that
we're Mickey mice?
Let's see
how fast they are.
Schedule examinations.
Certainly.
For when?
Tomorrow.
Atencion, estudiantes,
La Universidad de Madera
Look, I'll be honest with you,
I don't like rules.
Shh! Shh!
Maiana a las 8:00.
Holy shit!
Holy shit! We've got
an exam tomorrow.
Already?
How am I supposed to learn
this all in one night?
Surprise exam.
I can't do this.
This is ridiculous.
This is a pain in the ass.
I'm going to have
a goddamn heart attack.
Night-Night.
You finished studying?
Sure. I've got
a study buddy.
Who?
Benny.
Benny? Benny.
I don't know a Benny.
Let me introduce you
to speedy Benny,
My one-A-Day vitamin
for the brain.
Uppers.
That's right.
One a day?
How do you sleep?
Drop a lude.
Psychopharmacology's
my field.
Surgery is obsolete,
Jeff.
Drugs are the future
of medicine.
Y'all want one?
Mm-Hmm.
oh, I left a good job
in the city
workin' for the man
every night and day
and I never lost
one minute of sleepin'
worryin' about the way
things might have been
big wheel
keep on turnin'
turnin'
proud Mary
keep on burnin'
burnin'
rollin'
rollin'
rollin' on the river
go 'head now
rollin'
rollin'
and we're rollin'
yeah
rollin' on the river
give a toot toot
toot toot toot
toot toot toot
toot toot toot
ooooo...
This is the
international operator.
Please deposit
1,000 more pesos.
I don't have
1,000 more pesos.
Ok.
Oh, good. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you.
This is
the Marx residence...
Dad! This is me, Jeff. Listen. You were
right about school, and I was wrong.
I love it down here. I got a million
ideas and I know what I want to do.
...not home right now.
If it's a medical
emergency,
Our beeper numbers
are 555-2201 and 2.
Wait for the beep.
dad,
this is me, Jeff.
Listen, you were right about school.
I was wrong, and I got a million ideas
Dad! Listen it's me, Jeff. Listen,
you were right about school.
I was wrong and I know what I want
to do, dad. I know what I want to
Specialize in.
Everything!
Nobody does that!
Isn't that great?
Wait a minute, dad.
We could be partners.
Marx and son.
We could open up thousands of
clinics. Franchise like McDonalds.
Dad?
Hello?
I lost him.
He's gone. He's gone.
The guy's gone.
Oh, wait. Ok, fine.
What haven't I done?
What haven't I done?
Studied. Oh, shh...
uh...
Musculos de...
Uh!
Uh, no!
Uh!
Oomph!
Ok.
You know
the material.
You're ready.
Aah!
Aah!
You can work
and play.
You're
in my seat.
What? Oh.
Sorry.
Empieze el examen.
Gracias.
How did you do?
Pardon.
Pardon. Pardon.
Ha ha! Got my 95, you?
Ausente?
What's ausente mean?
That's Spanish
for absent.
But you were there,
weren't you?
Yeah, I was
right next to you.
Cervantes!
Dr. Cervantes.
Look, Sandoval
wrote me absent by mistake.
I want you to come to
dr. Madera with me.
No, no, no.
No, you don't understand.
I sat in the wrong seat.
Dr. Cervantes, please!
I'm sorry.
Please!
No!
It won't do
any good.
Dr. Madera is a complete
unreasonable man.
Buenos dias, senior.
Buenos dias, seniorita.
Me Ilamo Jeff...
Heffrey Marrex.
Of course, Mr. Marx.
Hey, you pronounced
it right.
You're the first one
so far.
Well, I learned English
by seeing your films
And reading
your classics.
Yeah. Um,
is dr. Madera in?
The doctor
is all tied up right now.
Oh, please.
Please.
Is it possible that
I see him in another...
That is a beautiful watch.
Is it a Rolex?
It looks so nice
on your lusty arm.
There are many beautiful
things in America.
I often dream
of being there.
So do I.
The pueblo I have chosen
for pueblo day
Is the village of
San Agustin.
It is very primitive,
very remote,
And the peasants have
never seen a doctor
In their lives,
so they won't object
To being treated
by medical students.
I am sending a select
group of students,
Including
the Americans.
It will make
for great drama
And guarantee publicity.
It could put us right up there
with the Mexicans.
How much will it cost?
Just gas money
and medication.
No, no, no. No medication
because they're only students.
I mean, what if they
hurt somebody?
No medication?
It's just
gas money, then.
Have these drug requisitions
filled at the pharmacy,
Then deliver them
to the infirmary.
Maria,
it's a great day.
Madera, Madera...
The doctor
is free now.
Hello.
Who are you?
What do you want?
I'm a first-Year
student, sir
And it's about my anatomy exam.
Um, Sandoval...
I sat in the wrong seat
during attendance,
And he marked me absent
by mistake.
And, as you can see
for yourself,
Here's my test.
If you just look at it.
There's my name, the date,
the grade, a 96.
And dr. Cervantes will
verify that I was there
And I took the exam.
Dr. Cervantes?
Si. I remember him.
Thank you, sir.
The record stands.
The grade remains an absent.
Sir, I fail to see
the logic here.
Dr. Cervantes just...
Well, in any event,
Cervantes...
Cervantes has nothing
to do with attendance.
Yeah, I know, but it's
obvious I took the test...
You want Cervantes
to take the attendance
And Sandoval
to teach the class?
No, of course not.
Then everything
is in order. Dismissed.
Sir! If you just
take a look.
You see my name,
the date, the grade...
What is wrong with you?
Why do you behave like this?
Here I give you
an opportunity to study
In one of the world's
great medical schools,
Soon to become famous,
and you act like a child!
A doctor must be a man!
Yes, I could have
taken you at your word
And accepted
your examination,
But that would be
the easy way out.
From my years of experience
in medical school
I can tell you that
adversity builds character.
Soon, you will
thank me for this.
I am waiting.
Thank you?
You're welcome.
Dismissed.
Pueblo day!
A great day in this
particular institution.
A proud day
at Madera university.
For today, we send out
administering angels
To give medical attention
To poor peasants
in the countryside,
People who cannot
afford to come to us.
So what do we do?
We send you out to them
So that you can administer
this attention to them
In their own environment.
Yes, you,
The first doctors
in their lives.
Does UCLA do a thing
like this?
No.
Does John Hopkins
do a thing like this?
No.
But in the great
Madera university tradition
Of providing
the best medical training
For its students,
In my personal commitment
To improving
the quality of life
For all people,
Together we strive
to relieve the pain
And suffering
of a diseased world.
Go in peace, my students,
and may god bless you.
You are now entering
san Agustin,
Your pueblo assignment.
You will be graded.
So, please conduct
yourselves in the ways
Of everyday school.
In charge today
are myself and dr. Diaz.
Are there any questions?
Yeah.
Marrex.
Uh...
are we doctors?
That's a good question,
Marrex.
Any other questions?
Aver, senior Gomez,
una foto.
Quickly, quickly. Come on.
Come on, come on. Over here.
Please wait by the school.
Wait by the school.
Come on. Quickly, please.
Thank you.
Good, good.
Come on, students.
Everybody. Please.
Let's group to location.
Sn. Back up, please.
Thank you, thank you.
You behind.
Good, come over here.
This will make a nice picture.
Come on. Get
together, please.
And they were
never seen again.
Oiga, senior doctor.
Hi.
Buenos dias.
Buenos dias.
What is this place?
This is a prison.
Let's get out of here.
Yeah, we'll wait
on the bus.
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Where are you going?
Nobody told us anything
about a prison.
So, what?
They need doctors, too.
But we're not doctors.
Come on,
Or you get
a failing grade.
Aah! Ha ha!
Ya ya ya ya!
They look healthy
to me. Let's go.
We can't.
We have to do something.
You start.
Why me?
What do I know?
Your father's a doctor.
You must have
watched him treat people.
His patients
aren't sick.
He's a plastic
surgeon.
I don't think any of these
guys are interested
In having
their boobs lifted.
If any of you,
uh, feel bad,
Or if you think
That anything
is wrong with you,
Step forward.
Anything hurt
or bother you, Pedro?
Abajo.
Down where?
Come on,
you can tell me.
Uh, bad member.
Bad member.
Sn.
I understand.
Does it hurt
when you urinate?
Uh... when you pee?
You know...
Pssss, oww!
Yeah? Yeah.
I know what that is.
We've got that
in Tulsa, too.
Easy to fix.
Thank you.
Next.
What's your problem?
Bad member.
Oh, dr. Marx?
Sn.
Consultation, por favor.
Momentito.
Just put your hand
on your chin
And nod knowingly
as we talk, ok?
What does
your patient have?
My patient's a mute.
I can't find out
what's wrong with him.
The man's a mute...
I don't know.
Well, I'll tell you one thing
I think he does have,
And that's the clap.
They've all got it here.
I wonder
where they got it.
Hey! Excuse me!
Hey, you two,
come with me.
It's an emergency!
Come!
Dr. Diaz, these men
need shots.
I think they've
all got v. D.
We have no medicine.
All we have is
a hypodermic for you
To practice with
using water.
It's just
for publicity.
What's going on?
Where do you think
he's taking us?
I don't know. I'm not
privy to their agenda.
Well, anything's better
than that prison.
Follow him.
Vamos, vamos.
Wrong again, Jeff.
I gotta go
to the bathroom.
Me, too.
Go with him!
Alone?
Just us?
Go! There's a man
too sick to be moved!
Buenos dias, senor.
Hi. How are you?
Come. We go,
we go, we go.
Be right with you.
He's wearing a gun.
Two. All right, have you ever
ridden a mule before?
Is that what this is,
a mule?
I've got no
feeling left in my balls.
They're completely numb.
You're lucky.
Mine aren't.
Oh, here comes
a tree, Dennis.
Stay away
from the tree.
Don't tell me,
tell the mule!
This school owes me
a new pair of glasses.
Dennis, can't you
steer him any better?
Steer him?
He's not a car!
Cactus, cactus.
This is fun, huh?
Yeah. One day
we'll have to go
To the grand canyon
together.
We're here.
Oh, this is it, huh?
First house call.
How do I
get off this thing?
The same way
you got on.
Oh. Oh!
Oh, watch it.
Hurry, hurry.
Hope this place has a jacuzzi.
Come on, my father is very sick.
Yeah? We're not feeling
so great, either.
Los doctores estan
aqui ya, padre.
Help him, please.
This guy's dying!
Nice bedside manner,
Dennis.
Damn,
I can't find a pulse.
I think his heart
stopped.
What do we do?
Let's call a doctor.
We're the doctor.
All right, I'm gonna
give him mouth-To-Mouth.
You start
a heart massage.
All right.
One, two...
whoa!
What kind of man
are you?
Let go of me!
Come on!
Come one, come on,
come on.
This man needs a doctor.
What are we doing here?
What are we doing here?
I don't know what
we're doing here.
Come back to life. Come on,
man! Breathe, breathe, breathe.
I don't
get anything, man.
I don't get anything.
Come back!
Den, den, den.
It's over.
Senior,
we are very sorry.
We're very sorry.
We're very sorry.
He was very sick,
obviously, and...
we were,
we were too late.
Yes.
Uh, he's... he's dead.
Si.
Muertos.
muerto? Imuerto!
Sn.
We couldn't help.
You!
You kill my father!
No, no.
No, no.
No, we didn't kill him. He didn't
have a heartbeat. Let's get outta here.
We were just trying
to bring him back to life.
There is no such thing!
No, Jesus!
Oh, god! Are you hit?
Are you hit?
No, you are! Oh, my god!
Aah!
Aah!
Who made
this bandage?
It smells like
a Caesar salad.
The witch doctor.
I spit on her arm
three times
And danced all night.
And that
didn't work, huh?
Momentito.
Excuse me.
Yeah.
Take a look at this cut.
What does that look like to you?
Looks like some kind
of a rash.
Yeah, yeah, that was
my diagnosis, too.
It's going to be
all right.
Senior Gomez?
Is there any cortisone?
We didn't bring any.
No cortisone?
No.
Senior Gomez, this girl's
wound is infected.
Where's the tetanus?
No tetanus.
No tetanus?
Uh, lower your voice.
Next time.
Why are we here
if we can't help?
Gomez, que pasa?
Public relations.
Perhaps next time.
Public relations?
Please,
lower your voice.
Quick! One of
the students is dead!
Please,
lower your voice!
Take him
off there.
Get him down
off there!
I need a lude!
I need a lude!
It was that damn
bandit friend of Diaz's!
Turn him over.
Turn him over.
Diaz, you'll be
in the suit!
Everybody clear out and give him
some air. Please, no pictures. Please.
Ow! Oh.
What's your name?
I told you already.
Tell me again.
Jeff.
Where are you from,
Jeff?
Boston.
Good town, Beantown.
Come on, Jeff,
just keep talking to me.
Recite the pledge
of allegiance.
Uh, four score
and seven...
ah, oh.
I, you, four...
I pledge
allegiance...
I pledge allegiance
to the flag.
The bullet missed
your artery
But it's lodged
in the vein.
Is that good?
You better remove
this bullet, dr. Diaz.
I'm only a physical doctor.
A what?
A gym teacher.
This bullet has to
come out pronto,
Because he's
losing blood.
"No surgery
is permitted,
Under strict orders
of dr. Madera. "
All right, well, if he
loses too much blood
Gangrene's gonna set in
And we're gonna have
to amputate.
Oh, please, don't!
senior Gomez?
Operate?
Ah!
Yes, operate.
Only, do a good job.
All right, look, it's me
or the gym teacher.
Now I've never
removed a bullet,
But I've seen it done.
Do whatever you saw.
Thanks.
Does anyone have
any alcohol?
Gracias.
Aah!
Not yet, father.
Why do I
listen to you?
My apologies, doctor,
But we got almost 10 inquiries
from that article.
I think all Americans
want their sons
To be doctors.
Yes, but not
dead doctors!
Ramon.
You don't say good-Bye
to your mother?
Good-Bye, mother.
You don't kiss
your mother?
This place affiliated
with the school?
Yeah, I think so.
My doctor's a sophomore.
It's for pests.
Do you want me to
call your folks?
No, no. They'll think
this is self-Inflicted.
Wait a minute,
you guys. Look.
We sure could have
used that medicine
At san Agustin. Sure
could've.
Yeah. I tell you something.
Talk about getting shot...
Somebody should
talk to Madera
And tell him we're
not gonna go back
Next time unless
we have medication.
Absolutely. Somebody has got
to stand up to that asshole.
Ahoy, students.
Buenos dias, dr. Madera.
Hello, boy.
How are you?
Not so good.
I see you're
coming along very well.
I'm very sorry
about the accident,
But you know,
that's the peasants.
That's the way
they are.
Still,
that's no excuse...
But don't worry,
We're going to give you
an "a" in pueblo.
And miss parker,
an "a+" for you,
Because instead of
a dead boy,
We have a wounded boy.
Yes.
Well,
enjoy your education.
I'm going to go
talk to him.
Yeah. See if you can
get me a private room.
You know?
There's two guys
In a bed over here.
We're right
behind you.
Yes, my heart bleeds
for them, too,
But the medicine in
the school infirmary
Is restricted to
my students by law.
My license does not
permit me to heal anyone
Off the premises.
Tell me, are you free...
What do you plan on doing
about these people?
Nothing, I'm afraid.
The pueblo program
has been terminated
Because of the accident.
They threaten to cancel
my insurance.
It's a terrible situation
But my first responsibility is
to the lives of my students.
The peasants
are god's problem.
Tell me,
are you free...
Now wait a minute.
I'm sorry, now,
I don't believe
it's god's will
That people
suffer needlessly.
That sounds more like
man's will to me.
Why do Americans
always think
That they can change
a thousand years of history
In one day?
When you're fixing noses
in Beverly Hills,
We will still be faced
with the problem
Of these peasants.
You are very charming.
Would you be free for dinner
tonight by any chance?
No.
Neither am I,
unfortunately.
Promised you I'd
come down here, dad.
I came, I tried,
I got shot.
Leave these
for the next sucker.
Hi. I stopped
by the hospital.
They said
you'd checked out.
I was talking to
Madera, and, um...
how come
you're packing?
'Cause I'm leaving.
Why?
Because I got shot.
I didn't want
to be a doctor
In the first place,
and then I get shot
For treating a patient.
It's ironic, isn't it?
No... All right,
wait a minute,
If you didn't want
to be a doctor,
What are you
doing here?
It's a long story.
It started
the day I was born,
And it ended today.
Listen, uh,
If you want some coffee
or anything...
Or the Mr. Coffee
or the pots, the pans,
Or whatever I've got
in there,
You can have.
I mean, I don't need it.
How'd it go
with Madera?
Great. He's canceling
the pueblo program.
I can't say
I blame him,
Although
it's a day too late.
You know, I don't
believe you said that.
Why?
Why? You were there,
you saw those people.
Yeah, one of them shot me.
Is that all
you think about?
Getting shot?
Yeah, for some reason,
I just can't seem to shake it.
Look, Liz,
I'm not an animal.
I understand. And I know
that those people are sick.
I know that someone
should help them,
But it's not me.
I don't know how.
Ok. All right, ok.
Ok.
Have a nice trip.
What... That's
the good-Bye?
Where are you going?
Well, first I'm going to
the school infirmary,
And steal
the medication.
And then I'm going to
take it to san Agustin.
Steal? You're gonna steal?
You're going to get
thrown out of school.
Yeah, well,
only if I'm caught.
Come on, Liz,
be sensible.
You're looking
for trouble.
All right, look, Jeff,
you got shot.
Someone
took the bullet out,
You were put into
a hospital,
You were given
medication,
And you were healed.
Now are you
the only person
On the whole planet
who deserves that?
"He waited, his hands
softly stroking her waist.
"Again her mouth
betrayed her.
"His belly cleaved to hers.
"Anne felt his hardness
against her thighs
And the hot darkness
of his mouth. "
uh, Maria?
Oh, heff.
It must be fate.
You were right on
the tip of my mind.
Oh, is dr. Madera in?
Oh, no. The doctor
is at a meeting
Off-Campus.
Great! Can you get off
for a minute or two?
Longer. I love
getting off.
Just a minute,
darling.
Let's go, you hunk.
Oh, Jeff,
There's this book
I'm reading.
Oh,
it's so romantic...
ihola!
I know a place
where we can be alone.
Where?
The school limo.
The school limo?
I don't know.
Trust me. Trust me.
Alone in bed at night
with my brothers,
I have often dreamed
of this moment.
That's nice.
Look, Maria,
Do you think this is
the right time
Or the right place?
Oh, don't worry, darling,
we are perfectly private.
Private?
You've got windows
here
And people
walking around.
The windows are tinted.
We can see out,
But they can't see in.
You sure?
Mm-Hmm.
Yeah?
What about here?
And there?
The front?
Oh, Jeff, when I look
into your eyes,
My body is overcome
With wrenching spasms
of delight.
Oh, Jeff, your skin
is like a raging river
Rippling under
my curious touch.
I can't stay long.
Tetracycline.
Terramycin.
Oh, amphetamines.
Unhook me with your
hot hands,
And lick my pulsating nipples
until they pout.
Oh, man!
Ravage me, you beast!
Jeff, I can feel
your hard manhood
Throbbing
through your jeans.
Oh, my proud stallion,
Let me unleash
your unbridled fury.
Wait, wait!
I'll do the zipper.
lay, Chihuahua!
Give me
your proud totem.
My love canal
awaits your orgasm.
Ah!
Let's go.
Jeff, did you have
any trouble?
Let's go.
Watch it!
Easy.
Watch it.
Quickly. Just like a bunch of thieves!
We are thieves. Let's
get outta here. Let's go.
Where's Jeff?
Come on, let's go.
Someone must be
very sick.
Hold it!
Hold it!
Here comes Jeff!
Get in!
What took you so long?
I promised not to tell.
Great!
Great, great, great. Hey,
look, I'm going to go find
The schoolteacher,
open up the door, okay?
Ok, how much
do I owe you?
The meter ran out
20 kilometers ago.
So what's the fare?
60,000 pesos?
All I've got
is a 100,000.
Jeff, do you have
change for 100,000?
I left my money
in my other pants.
Pepe, can we change
100,000?
No, I left my money
in my other pants.
All right, but be back here
by crack of dawn tomorrow.
I'll be back.
Is bad medicine.
Come with me.
There is one chant
I haven't tried.
There? There?
You know,
it might be worms.
You better get
a stool sample.
Ok.
Ok.
Uh, por favor,
Next time you go
to the bathroom,
Ponga in this bag,
and return it to me.
I want to take
a good look at it.
You do?
Good day, gentlemen.
We're back.
Today we're going to
fix your members.
With this.
Oh!
Oh!
No!
No!
We going to have to
think of a way
To give these guys
the shots,
'Cause they're not
gonna go for it.
All right, all right,
I got it.
Drop your pants.
What?
Drop your pants.
Why?
I'm gonna give you a shot first,
show them it won't hurt.
Well, I got news
for you, buddy boy,
It is gonna hurt,
Especially if it's
given by an amateur.
I've shot myself up
lots of times.
There's nothing to it.
Really.
You know, Dennis...
I'll be gentle.
All right. I really...
I went into this...
Just bend over.
Really be careful.
Really, really.
I do not feel good
about this.
Huh!
Aah!
Ohhh!
Ibueno!
Ibueno!
Yeah!
Yeah. Oh,
that was good.
Man, I just know
they're not gonna wait
Any five days
Before they start
screwing Lupita again.
We're gonna have to be
back there next week.
This place
is jumping!
I wonder
if they need any shots.
I was getting pretty adept
there towards the end, wasn't I?
Yeah, it was
at the beginning
You were
a little weak.
Dennis, I just took a splinter
out of this kid's leg.
You got any iodine
or something?
Man, iodine went out
with world war ii.
Now we use a topical
antibacterial.
Does it hurt
when it rains?
Yes. Ok.
Does it hurt
in the morning?
In the morning
it hurts.
Well, there's a
little inflammation.
I think
it's arthritis.
I'm going to give you
a shot of cortisone.
Cortisone. Ok?
Hi. How you
doing over here?
Oh, hiya.
You need any help?
Uh, no,
I don't think so.
Ok. Here we go.
Poquito ouch.
It's ok.
There.
Yeah? It's good?
Good!
Wow! Good job!
Hey!
He's pretty
happy.
He's a pretty
happy guy.
All right. Next.
I have this pain in my hip
for many, many years.
All right.
Does it hurt when...
In the morning.
When it rain.
I have arthritis.
Give me the cortisone.
Sure, sure.
You sure you don't want me
to do it?
I'm a real good
shot assistant.
Yeah, in real life,
that's a nurse.
I looked everywhere.
The Americans are not
in the school laboratory
Or in the library, and
they're not in their rooms.
Where could they be
all this time?
Are they together,
do you think?
There's no way of telling.
Then say nothing.
If I ask you a question
and you know the answer,
Say something.
If not...
they're together.
I know it.
The girls and the boys.
The boys and the girls.
It would be
too big a coincidence
If they were not together.
Do you wish me
to expel them?
Oh, don't be stupid.
For what?
We don't know
what she's doing, do we?
Who?
But if
they were not there
For the raising of
the flag in the morning,
And they are not there
For the lowering of
the flag at night,
That means they could have
spent the entire day together.
It also means that
They could be spending
the night together.
Is that possible?
Yes.
Shut up!
Damn you to hell!
If you want to help me
figure this out, fine.
But don't say
ridiculous things.
Call a faculty
meeting for tomorrow.
We just had
a faculty meeting today.
So what? Do I have to
ration faculty meetings?
No. No.
No.
They feel,
the Americans,
That this school
is a playground.
I will show them
that Madera university
Is anything
but a playground!
Thank you very much
for coming
In the middle
of the night, Gomez.
I really
appreciate it.
Any time.
You know,
it was crazy, right?
I, like, stuck this guy
six times in the arm
Trying to
find his vein.
The poor guy's arm
looked like a pincushion.
And I'm glad
we came out here
And started this thing,
But I just wish I knew more
of what I was doing, that's all.
Well, you will.
I mean, you know,
you're just a kid.
You're a freshman,
right? Freshman.
Boy.
Do you have any
medical background?
No. No.
I'm going to be
the first doctor
In a long line
of bus boys.
These grasshoppers
are very tasty.
The secret
is in the sauce.
It's
a real nice place
You got here,
doctor.
I'm thinking
of adding on.
You know,
I watched you today.
You got the touch.
You really think so?
Oh yeah, yeah. You're
gonna be a hell of a doctor.
What?
I used to live
with this surgeon
That told me I didn't
have enough brains
To be anything
more than a nurse.
I mean, like,
he claimed
That there was, like,
this giant leap
In brain power between
giving orders and taking them.
Sounds like
a nice guy.
Where is he now?
I don't know.
As soon as he said
I was too dumb
To do what he did,
I was out of there.
You were smart
enough to do that.
How's your limb?
My what?
Your leg.
Any discomfort?
No. I hadn't
noticed.
look at the Americans,
Look how tired they are,
but not from studying.
From now on,
They'll be tired
from studying.
But, doctor,
the pressure
On the students
will be devastating!
I don't care.
They have too much time
For miscellaneous
behavior.
Please, doctor.
No.
But for most
final exams,
I have three months.
It's madness!
Not at the same time...
One by one, beginning
with anatomy next week.
This is a medical school.
It's not...
something else. Next.
There's a very large bill
from the pharmacy.
You want I should pay it?
It's a mistake.
Check the inventory.
Next.
The Americans
are back.
The meeting
is adjourned.
Dr. Madera,
You must get me
more cadavers.
My students
cannot possibly
Prepare for this exam
with only one cadaver!
We need at least
two cadavers...
They want
to learn,
They will
find a way!
time's up!
Five minutes!
Next group
to use the cadaver.
Hey, Sandoval, I didn't
get to see the spleen.
I'll send you
a picture.
The four
physiological fluids
That flow through
the body are?
Blood.
Phlegm.
Water.
Bile.
Yeah! Good, good, good!
This car
needs a tune-Up.
It's better
than putting pesos
In Pepe's pockets.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey.
Three more
and we're in.
Closed?
What?
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Cerrado? Cerrado?
Cerrado?
How are we supposed to learn
anatomy like this? I mean...
This sucks. Look,
we need our own cadaver.
That's all there is to it.
Wouldn't we need a
dead body for that?
We don't need
a whole body,
Just an arm,
a leg, and a thigh.
Hey, this isn't
colonel sanders.
Ahem.
May I help you?
How do you do?
We'd like to buy
a body.
I have never heard
such a disgusting thing!
Get out!
Pesos.
May I suggest
Gonzales?
He was killed
just last night
In a police shoot-Out.
Oh,
he's perfect!
Yes, indeed.
Come on.
Hurry up before
somebody sees us.
Oh, god,
he's heavy!
He's dead weight.
I think rigor mortis
is setting in.
I wonder how
Gonzales feels
Being carried around
like this.
I know it's
no fun for me.
He's beyond caring.
Besides, guy may end up
curing cancer here.
What?
What?
Ok, boys, let's all
think real hard.
We're gonna have to put Gonzales on ice
somewhere when we get him home, okay?
We'll keep him
in the bathtub.
Yeah, but whose?
We'll rotate him,
or we can divvy him up.
foot. Foot. Foot.
This is very
uncomfortable.
What's the matter,
You never walked
with a cadaver before?
Buenas noches.
Hola.
People are giving us
funny looks.
We gotta get him
off the street.
Can you blame 'em?
Gonzales with those
beady eyes of his.
Can't you get
his head down or something?
Just push, just push.
Let me massage
the neck.
Ok, one, two, three!
Ow! Ow!
What? What?
I got a cramp.
I got a cramp.
I got to
sit down.
All right, back up.
It's over here.
Oh! Oh!
Aw, this is nuts.
Whose idea was this,
anyways?
Yours.
Yours.
Guys, our friend's
not too obvious.
Come on, come one. Let's get out
of here. Let's get out of here.
How far is it
to the dorm?
About four more blocks.
Oh, shit,
it's Pepe.
Where? Oh,
he's coming back.
He's coming back.
Where have you guys been?
I miss you.
I'm glad he's here.
I can't walk
any further.
Just be cool, be cool.
Let's not share
our illegal secret, okay?
Get up, get up.
He's coming over,
he's coming over.
Hola.
Hola.
I don't think
I know your friend.
I'm Pepe.
I said, I'm Pepe.
What's the matter
with him?
He's been drinking.
Yeah, we're
all drunk.
Smashed.
Still,
he can say hello.
No, no,
he's real sad.
He's very
depressed.
Yeah, he's in bad
shape, Pepe.
He's had a death
in the family,
Someone very close.
I think it's best
That he stays alone
with friends.
In that case Pepe has
a discount for the bereaved.
Let me help you
with him.
Oh, that's nice.
Thank you, Pepe.
All right, come on.
Did you hear that?
A discount!
Must be our lucky day.
Go.
Get his legs up.
We missed.
Your friend
is very tense.
You would be, too.
I'm losing him,
I'm losing him.
It's kind of
stuffy in here.
Do you mind
if I drive
With the car door open? Not
at all. Go ahead. Please.
You guys are
so quiet tonight.
It's one of those nights. Yeah.
Your friend is
really out of it.
But I know
what it's like
To lose a family
member.
Last night,
a cousin of mine
Was killed in
a police shoot-Out.
Hmm?
Hmm?
I feel kind of bad,
you know,
Because I was the one
who squealed on him.
I was having an affair
with his wife.
He deserved to die.
Mother of god,
it's Gonzales!
Aah!
Ahh!
Ahh!
What's the number
of the American embassy?
Did you know
Your left
taillight is out?
What's so funny,
friend?
I'm talking to you!
He can't talk, officer.
He's had major dental work.
His jaw's wired shut.
I know that face.
Looks like a guy
We shot up
last night.
It looks like
your cousin, Pepe.
It looks like him
but it isn't.
I'll let you go with
a warning this time.
Oh, man.
I want a big tip.
Peanut butter
with bread.
Peanut butter
with bread.
Beer drinkers
live longer.
Beer drinkers
live longer.
Soccer players
have stamina.
Soccer players
have stamina.
yeah.
Oh, hi.
How you doing?
Oh, god.
If you want Gonzales,
He's on ice
in Dennis' bathtub.
I just came
from there.
Boy, these exams
really scare me.
All this memorizing
and theorizing and stuff.
Is memorizing
a problem?
Yeah.
Ooh, did you come
to the right place!
I'm working
on a system.
Yeah, I got this
whole thing figured out.
I mean, everything.
Let me just show you.
I'll find a good one.
Uh, um, ok.
What are the four
Physiological fluids
of the body?
Blood.
Phlegm.
Water...
just think of the words
"peanut butter with bread,"
The first letters
of each word.
Peanut. "P."
Phlegm.
Butter. "B."
Blood.
With. "W."
Water.
Bread. "B."
Bile!
Right! God, that's...
That's real clever!
I got a whole list here
by subject.
I Xeroxed this
for you.
It's got, like,
30 of them.
So, whatever,
you know...
There's anatomy,
histology here... Terrific.
God, you're great!
Ah, well.
Oh, god!
Jeff?
Yeah?
I think we have a great
relationship. Yeah?
Umm, I wouldn't want to do
anything to ruin it.
Yeah.
But could we be lovers?
Hmm?
I mean, it
would have to be purely sexual
Because I can't afford to
get involved. No problem.
I mean, someday I want
an emotional commitment,
And I would like
to marry a man,
Me too. But right now,
for the next four years,
School's the only
thing in my life.
Oh, I understand,
I understand
totally. Totally.
So, the next question's when?
When?
I don't know.
I haven't really
thought about it.
All right,
I'll look it up.
Date book. Let's see.
Weekends are out
Because we
have the clinic.
Fridays are bad
Because those are
my late study nights.
Mornings.
Middle of the day.
No. Early study session.
Uh, middle
of the night.
Anytime. Meals,
I'll be willing
to give up meals.
I'm free from 4:00
to 5:00 on Tuesday.
4:00 to 5:00
on Tuesday?
Let's make it
official.
Let me
get my book.
4:00 to 5:00. Is excellent.
Excellent. All right.
Sex...
Jeff, two fs.
Right.
Right.
Okay.
Great.
Wait!
Today's Tuesday.
Oh.
Um...
we got a letter
from Jeffrey today.
Seems to like school.
Says he scored high
on his anatomy final.
Finals?
It's January.
It seems they give
weekly finals there.
Even suggested
you stop by to see him,
Gerald,
on your way to Rio
For that
face-Lift symposium.
He wants
to see me?
Read the letter.
Are you sure it's
his handwriting?
Ok, branches of
the brachial arteries.
Ok, let's go.
Hey, den?
Hmm.
Hand me a box
of 'cillin.
Thanks.
This isn't
going to hurt.
Ok, I think
it's Mr. Puppet time!
Look at the little puppet. Oh, cherries.
Aah!
Hey!
It's a breech.
I don't know.
Her stomach looks fine.
Transverse fetus.
Yeah, but the
ultrasound shows
The fetus is in
the right position.
God, she's in pain.
I say it's a breech.
You can tell
in a sec.
Blood pressure's dropping.
Abruptio placentae.
No way!
Shh!
Right!
Oh, kids?
It's that time again.
The bookstore reports
brisk sales of t-Shirts
And the other
novelty items.
The books themselves
are down.
Ah. The school cadaver
has been picked clean.
However,
the government of Haiti
Sells them
for $3.00 a piece,
Well within
our budget.
Now to the ledger.
I am lonely, Gomez.
You don't ever repeat
what I say to you, do you?
Oh, no, no, doctor.
Not even
to Mrs. Gomez.
You are married?
Sn, sn.
Tell me, Gomez,
do you have sons?
Many.
Someday, I, too,
shall have sons.
And a beautiful wife.
The books
are balanced.
The only
outstanding bill
Is from
the pharmacy,
Which I can't pay
Until Maria completes
her inventory
Per your instructions.
Uhh...
I'll go talk to Maria
about that.
Excuse me.
What are you doing?
Where's Maria?
I don't know.
An early lunch?
Oh, miss parker.
Hello. Hello.
Dr. Madera.
Senior Gomez.
Hello.
May I help you?
No, let me say this.
Are you here
to see me?
Yeah.
See? She's here
to see me.
I will help her.
Go away, go away.
Ah, so, you are here
to see me.
That's kismet. That's fate.
In what regard?
I wanted to tell you
how much I'm enjoying school.
Oh!
Want to talk
in your office?
Yes, I'll be
delighted.
I'm very flattered. Thank you.
Tell me more.
Well, see, um...
the faculty
is excellent.
And the, uh,
facilities uhh, well...
mind if I close your door? No, please.
Well! Uh...
and the, uh...
the, um...
the, uh...
the, uh...
the curriculum?
Yeah!
The curriculum...
well,
that's just... good.
It meets with
your approval.
Yeah,
it's just plain good.
I'm very happy.
Anything else?
Um...
boy, that's
a swell suit.
I'm glad you like it.
Where did
you get it?
Venezuela.
I get all of my clothes
in Venezuela.
Oh.
Well, I don't
want to take up
Any more of your time.
Please stay.
But, you know,
I really have to go.
I would like very much
If you'll have dinner
with me tonight.
I can't.
It would be
very meaningful.
No, no. You know,
I have to study for
those weekly finals.
They're
pretty tough.
I will push them back
one day for you.
No, no, no, I enjoy
the pressure.
No, no, you will
enjoy yourself tonight.
No. We have things to discuss.
No, we don't. Yes, we
do. I don't think so.
It would be very nice.
Sorry.
You will have
a very good time.
No.
It will be wonderful.
I can't.
I will enjoy it.
No.
I insist.
Mm-Mmm.
I order this!
Ok.
I beg you to do this.
Ok!
Oh, you said yes.
I said fine.
I will be happy.
I will see you tonight at 6:30
at the dormitory. Right. Ok.
Gomez!
S, doctor.
I am here.
I am getting married.
Don't tell my mother.
Open up another box.
We're gonna start
The second half
of the ball game.
Kevin McHale.
...Larry bird!
lay!
Ok, ok.
We'll bring you
over to this table, ok?
Come on, come on.
Don't worry.
How long have you
been in labor?
Two days.
Two days? Ok, ok.
Ok, ok, easy.
Easy, just relax.
Relax.
Do I know you?
Are you a patient here?
No, I don't.
No, no? Ok.
Ok, all right.
All right.
How often are
the contractions?
Five minutes.
Five minutes?
You're having
a baby.
Yes!
Yeah, yeah.
Do you think you
dropped your water yet?
Yes!
Yes, you dropped
your water. Ok, ok.
I'm going to take
a little look.
I'm gonna look
under here.
And, uh, where's
your husband?
Parking the donkeys.
Ok, ok, ok.
I'm just gonna
take a look. Ok.
Ok.
Everything's
going to be ok.
This feels normal?
This?
senor, que pasa?
I'll be with you
in a second, ok?
And breathe,
and br...
Oh, Jesus.
Jesus!
I should have killed you
the first time.
Come, we go.
No, no, no. You can't!
She's in heavy labor.
Come, we go.
No, I'm telling you,
It's too dangerous
to take her away.
Cut the shit
and grow up!
Come over here.
Now, listen to me.
Listen to exactly
what I say.
You know
how to drive? Huh?
Take these keys.
Take that car.
Drive it
to Valencia.
Go to the best
restaurant in town.
Get the prettiest
girl there,
Bring her back here,
and do it now.
Do it now!
Vamoose!
Beuno!
Ok.
Ok, ok.
I'm back.
Is this
your first baby?
Yes.
Mine, too.
No, I have no sons.
You see,
my wife, like you,
Was a very
handsome woman.
And conservative,
as I hope you are.
But where
you are strong,
She was weak.
You see,
Teresa was barren.
She was infertile.
She was,
how you say...
she was
devoid of eggs.
May I have
a little pickle?
Yes.
A little pickle.
Here's
a little pickle.
Thank you.
And, uh,
in the five years
Since she has been
dead I have been...
May I ask what
your wife died of?
Shame.
She died of shame.
You see, my family
is from...
May I have
some more pickle?
There is
a small pickle.
You see, my family
is from
The province of
Chihuahua in Mexico.
You are familiar
with Chihuahua?
The little dogs?
Yes. Charming.
The little dogs.
Chihuahua is known
For the vigor
of its men,
The force, as I say,
Of their
primal energy...
The genetic power
of the...
I'm sorry. Are you going
to eat your vegetables?
No.
You... You take
all of my food.
Because, you see...
Not pretty.
There, that one!
She's beautiful.
Come! Come with me!
Where was I?
Yes.
The vigor of the men
of Chihuahua,
The force of their
creative energies,
The genetic thrust...
You see, you are
the beautiful woman.
They coming to pick you up
and take you to San Augistin.
Forced from
the bull-Like nature
Of their loins...
Would you
hold that thought.
Yes. May I ask,
are you catholic?
No.
Well, you must
consider conversion.
Ok.
Yes.
Oh, yes.
Are you looking
for me?
No. I don't know.
No, you said
the clinic? Me?
Yes?
Please, come with me!
My wife and Jeff
are having a baby!
All right, calm down.
It'll be all right.
Everything's ok,
everything's fine.
Will you just tell
that man over there
That we had to go.
Come on.
Musicians, please.
What?
Wait. Please.
Oh.
Blood pressure's
elevated.
She's in labor
two days.
I don't like it.
The heartbeat's
faint.
It's not
where it should be.
What should I do?
Just keep chanting.
What is that?
It's ether,
an anesthetic.
She should chew
on a herbal root.
Dennis says it's
the same as valium.
Whatever. Look,
She's in
a lot of pain.
I want to
put her out.
When I tell you to,
Put this over her
nose like this, ok?
Ok?
Ok, Estrellita.
Ok, honey. Ok.
Ok, relax.
Breathe.
Breathe. Ok.
Breathe.
Oh, geez!
Aahh!
What? What?
It's coming!
Oh, my god!
It's a breech!
Oh, no!
Go back in!
What's a breech?
Nothing
to worry about.
Nothing to worry
about. Relax.
Relax and sleep,
But keep breathing.
And breathe.
Breathe.
Breathe.
Breathe.
Breathe.
Breathe and relax.
Go back in.
The head has to
come out first.
Oh!
Uh!
Uh!
Oh, god!
Don't let me
screw up!
There's your mom.
Yeah!
It's a boy!
Igracias!
Here. Here.
You. My friend.
A gift.
Gracias, amigo.
Good morning
And congratulations,
doctor!
Looks like you
and your fianc
Had a wonderful time.
Well, you deserve
some pleasure.
It's extraordinary
to me, Gomez,
How you always manage
to misread the situation
And say
the wrong thing.
Get out of my sight.
Because I don't want to
see you anymore today
Or any other day.
Dr. Madera!
What is it?
We've been robbed!
Oh.
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ahem!
What's that?
Sandoval.
Dr. Madera wants to
see the girl.
Are these familiar
to you?
No.
No.
You know that we are aware
of your illegal clinic
And band
of renegade students.
Gee... I don't know
what you're talking about.
Why do you lie?
You don't have to lie.
You're safe here.
After all, I cannot have my
wife involved in a scandal.
I thought your wife
was dead.
No, I meant you.
I'm not your wife.
No, but you have
committed a crime,
And you must be
punished.
Marry me.
Yes, you are speechless.
That's completely
understandable.
But, in spite of the fact
that you are a criminal,
You are beautiful.
And I believe that god,
After depriving me
of a son all these years,
Has sent you to me
so that I may spawn.
Now listen to me,
dr. Madera,
I'm very flattered.
But you wouldn't
want to marry me
If I didn't love you.
Yes, I would.
I'd better go now.
There's someone else,
isn't there?
That boy,
that American boy.
No, there isn't.
Why do you
torment me?
I saw you the night
that you left me,
And that day,
the next day,
Running hand in hand
with him
And giggling
to yourselves.
When I was adoring
you from afar,
You were fornicating
under my nose!
Get out of here!
Wait! Don't go.
In light of
the present situation
I... I have no choice
But to expel you
and your friends
From school.
And with that, any hope
of a medical education
Will come to an end.
However...
I will rescind that order
if, as a wedding gift,
You will marry me.
Where are you going?
To pack!
Well, it was inevitable.
Who did we think
we were kidding?
How long did we think
we could get away with it?
It was my fault for getting
everybody involved. No, no.
Will you knock that off? Look, we
all knew what we were getting into.
There's got to be
another medical school
Somewhere
that will take us.
I hear there's one
in the Philippines
That will take
anybody.
I think we ought to steal
some school stationery
And forge ourselves some
letters of recommendation.
That's what I think.
We could go to jail,
schmuck!
I suggest we leave
the country.
It's the end
of the clinic.
Oh, yeah, Madera is
gonna close it for sure.
Let's contact
the red cross.
Maybe they'll
take it over.
Sure, we're allowed one
phone call from prison.
And after prison,
What happens
to our careers?
We can always
become chiropractors.
Aaah.
Dr. Madera?
You are the devil.
I want to talk to you.
I want to give you
the chance to be logical.
I can't talk now.
I'm a very busy man.
You can't throw us
out of school.
You stole from me.
You disobeyed me
on everything.
You promised those people
medical aid!
That's what we gave them.
You can't punish us
for that.
What we did was right.
Don't you dare
tell me what's right.
You want justice, boy?
The pistol in my
country is justice!
I know that, sir.
That's why I brought one.
You dare to bring
a gun into my house?
I'm going to be a doctor,
and you're not gonna stop me.
I've already
stopped you,
So if you want to
kill me, go ahead.
I'm not afraid to die.
Shoot me or
get out of here.
I will. I swear to god,
I'll shoot you.
I'll shoot you
right in this room.
You kill me,
I'll kill you right back!
I'm not leaving this room
until we resolve this thing.
There is no resolution
Except that your medical
career is at an end.
No, it isn't.
Yes, it is.
No, it isn't.
Oh, yes, it is.
Well, I'm not gonna
let you do it.
Well, there's nothing
you can do.
Oh, yeah? Yeah?
That's right.
That's what you think.
Yes, that's what I think,
and that's what I know.
Dr. Marx is here
looking...
Can...
Hi, dad.
I'm not necessary
here.
What the hell's
happening here?
Those are real guns.
Dad, you don't
understand.
It's good to see you.
Can you go outside?
I'm not going anywhere
Until I find out
what's happening here!
Your son
is a thief.
He stole drugs
from me.
He thought
it was time
To open
his own clinic.
Bull crap.
I will show you
where it is.
Is this true?
Umph!
Ok, senior.
How much is this
going to cost me, huh?
How do you get paid down here,
in pesos or in dollars?
You cannot bribe me.
You are so arrogant,
you Americans!
You think you are
superior to everyone.
I know about you.
Here!
There is my degree
from UCLA,
The university
of California
In los Angeles,
Where I was an intern
in the hospital
And where I watched
dying patients,
Their eyes
looking past me
Searching for
an anglo doctor.
Well, here, I am
the establishment.
You are the Chicano.
I mean, stealing drugs.
What?
You needed the money?
It wasn't
for the money, dad.
We start...
What?
What!
You posed as a doctor?
Tuesday and Thursday nights
and weekends, dad.
That is fraud,
for Christ's sakes!
If you want to
look at it that way.
Ohh.
Ugh.
What?
It's my stomach.
It's all right.
I'm having
an ulcer attack
From all this.
What the hell
do you care?
Someone, I know,
will take our place.
You won't be abandoned
without medicine.
But you've got to,
for yourselves, remember...
And cook your pork.
What is it?
What is it?
Who's that man?
What's the matter with him?
I hope he's a lawyer.
Jeff, who is that?
It's my father. I just want to
get him inside. What's wrong?
Let me take
his other arm.
I'll get the door.
Careful on those steps.
Ow! Ow!
Jeff,
where am I?
It's gonna be ok,
dad.
Is this the hospital?
Sort of.
Get a blood pressure on him.
Where's the doctor?
You're looking at him.
Stick your tongue out, dad.
What?!
You're salivating.
Feeling nauseous?
I'm having
an ulcer attack.
Lymph nodes are normal.
My peritoneal wall
is burning up.
Get me a doctor.
Yep, he's got fever,
Rapid pulse,
diarrhea.
I know what I have.
It's my ulcer!
Get me a doctor
and some Maalox!
No, dad, I don't
want to give you
Anything to mask
the symptoms.
I want to get
a correct diagnosis.
Please! I've been
a doctor 40 years!
Well, now
you're a patient.
Keep his head elevated. Keep
his head up high and relaxed..
I want to take
a blood count here.
Blood pressure's
160 over 80.
Doctor Brujo, we have
a patient in stress.
Thank god.
A real doctor.
I'm doctor Brujo.
I work with your son.
Oy vey.
Chew on this leaf.
It will lower
your blood pressure.
Jeff, get me out of here!
Dad, settle down.
That's a hypo!
Who are you?
This is compazene.
I have no idea who I am.
No infection
in the eyes.
There's
abdominal distention.
Ah! Oh!
Peritoneal
tenderness.
How's his blood?
His white cell count
is normal.
Did you eat
anything today, dad?
Lunch at the hotel.
Uh-Oh.
That'll do it.
His blood pressure's
going down.
You got any more of
those leaves to chew on?
What's the rush?
I couldn't keep up
with you.
His father got sick.
He's in
the schoolhouse.
Dr. Marrex,
you are not well?
Excuse me.
I thought
it was an ulcer,
But the staff made
a different diagnosis.
We found
roundworms
In his stool
sample, doctor.
Yes, worms sometimes mimic
the symptoms of an ulcer.
Did you start compazine?
I gave him 1 cc.
Bartrum?
Yes, and lomotil.
And bay leaves.
Hmm.
You trained these kids
well, dr. Madera.
Thank you very much.
We will take you back
to the school infirmary
And give you more tests
in the morning.
Put him
in the limousine, please.
You'll be more
comfortable in there.
Come, Gomez.
I had the clap
for seven years
Before they came. Me, too!
Me, too! Excuse, please.
I had chronic epidermal
necrolysis and now, look.
Please, senior,
don't close the clinic,
Or I'll blow
your head off.
You're despicable.
You're subhuman.
You're lower than low.
Do you want a ride
to the town?
Do you want to press charges
against the students?
No, no, no, no.
You do that,
you'll throw away
The best opportunity
you'll ever have.
All you have to do is
put the name Madera
Over that clinic.
Let some of
the reporters
Talk to the peasants.
You could become
the mother Teresa
Of central America.
This is what I was
going for.
This is what
the pueblo program
Was designed to do for you.
You want me
to consort with criminals?
This is what you want?
That's small potatoes!
The big story
is the Madera clinic,
Which not only saved
the peasants,
But saved the life of
an American surgeon,
Who was cured
by his own son,
A medical student
at your school!
You pass this up
And you have
my resignation.
You are becoming
very aggressive, Gomez.
Jeff, tomorrow
I'll start making phone calls.
I'll stay here and get
lawyers for all of you.
We'll find
another medical school.
You kids deserve
to be doctors.
Vamonos. You are
under arrest.
Get your hands off me.
Hey, hands off
the suit, ok?
Don't worry, don't worry.
We'll handle this.
You just go home,
Take care
of yourself.
I'll call mom
and I'll explain everything.
I'll talk
to your mother.
Senior.
Momentito.
Momentito.
Drink a lot of fluids.
I'm so proud
you're my son.
I love you.
I love you, too.
Ok.
Where should we
hold the students?
Take them to Valencia.
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
No!
And quickly,
Because they have
school tomorrow!
He said we have
school tomorrow!
I don't believe it!
It's a trick!
Thanks, doc.
I, too, shall have
sons someday.
You see,
I am from
the province of Chihuahua.