Aloys (2016)

Your email is missing.
No longer valid.
Excuse me?
I didn't get that.
No email.
Urn to keep at home...
Aloys?
Just give me the payment slip.
Julie Kramer...
We went to school together.
We don't know each other,
young lady.
Sorry.
Can you feel him kicking?
He wants to get out.
He can barely wait.
It must be a bit lonely in there.
I'm getting cold, darling.
Can we go to your place, please?
I'd rather not, Kathrin.
We always meet outside.
Do you have something to hide?
- What do you mean, "hide"?
- You never take me to your place.
Hello?
Mrs Schoch, you shouldn't contact us
during the observation.
Mrs Schoch? She's pregnant.
C'est la vie...
I beg your pardon?
That's French.
Get that son of a bitch on the phone!
We don't interact with out targets.
We'll get back to you tomorrow.
ADORN & SON
PRIVATE INVESTIGATORS
First new message:
This is Julie Kramer
from the crematorium.
The cremation is confirmed for Friday.
I'm sorry about earlier.
It was the wrong moment.
We'll see each other at the cremation.
Let's chat then.
I'm curious about what's become of you...
Message deleted.
I'd like to order something.
Hello, Mr Adorn.
I'm sorry about your father.
One portion of rice to go.
In China, when somebody dies,
we get rid of bad spirits
with fireworks.
We don't need that.
Hello, Mr Detective.
Evening.
Is it true that you catch missing cats
and don't bring them back?
No.
Hello.
You're even more friendly
than your father.
Oh I'm so cold.
Touch it.
Do you have a vacuum cleaner?
Mrs Schoch...
My boss isn't available right now,
but we'll intercept Mr Schoch.
At 4pm, on the dot.
Yes, we thank you.
Hello?
Our camera bag was stolen
on the bus.
Including 9 DV tapes.
Strictly confidential material.
As well as an ID card from the
Swiss Association of Private Investigators.
Issued to Adorn Junior.
Yes, hello?
I imagined your voice would be different.
Say something else.
I like it.
But it's obvious
that you don't like talking.
Who are you?
What do you want?
Is it OK to call you Adorn?
Aloys feels too personal.
You stole our camera.
I watched your videos.
Your dead father.
The people you spy on.
Your cat who, incidentally,
has a magnesium deficiency,
and who will die soon too.
You even film me and Rolf.
I don't know anyone called Rolf.
Do you know anyone at all?
Adorn?
I thought I'd send the videos back
to the people you secretly film.
You could apologise to them.
- To me too.
- No, young lady,
you'll hand over these items
to lost property office,
or we'll inform the authorities.
I picture you...
in your blue jumper,
with your sad eyes.
Good night.
Believe in your invisibility -
it is given to you.
Avoid mirrors,
shadows and echoes.
Be quieter than the wind.
Testing... testing...
Testing... testing...
Hello.
We'll work out a practical solution
both parties can agree to.
Very good.
The secret lies in the filtered frequencies
through the phone.
What?
Phone-walking
was invented in 1984
by a Japanese neurologist.
A practical solution, young lady.
For shy men.
How's your cat?
Do you give it magnesium?
Listen very carefully, young lady...
Just listen.
You've pictured a train, right?
That's how phone-walking works.
You picture a face.
No, a definite no.
I'm tall...
slim...
with black skin...
an ample bosom...
Attention, passing train platform 1
Hello?
Hello?
Adorn, you clever fox.
You hear my voice,
but you don't know who I am.
Throw yourself under a train.
What did you say?
Go and throw yourself
under a train.
The secret lies in the filtered frequencies
through the phone.
Phone-walking
was invented in 1984
by a Japanese neurologist.
...by a Japanese neurologist.
...black skin...
...black skin...
Watering can,
apples,
four beers,
gardening magazine...
...tights.
Yellow tights.
Melon flavour.
I'd like to invite you for a drink.
OK.
THAT'S NOT ME.
AND THIS PLACE MAKES ME SICK.
- Hello.
- Return our items.
- What?
- Return our items!
You want me to return what?
Miaow...
- Miaow!
- Go away, I don't have a cat.
Come on, drink!
Here. Drink!
You stupid pig.
You're a stupid pig!
Adorn and son.
Please leave a message after the tone.
We thank you.
The first time is always painful,
but unforgettable.
The easiest way...
...is to press your forehead
against the wall.
Then you picture us
meeting on
the other side of the wall.
Through the wall
into the forest, for instance.
Then you picture us
meeting on
the other side of the wall.
Through the wall
into the forest, for instance.
Our voices generate an image.
Our words set them in motion.
Besides one's imagination,
hearing is the most important thing.
It's the interface
between our thoughts.
Technically speaking, phone-walking...
We're in the forest now.
Things are creeping and crawling
in the forest.
Trees, wood...
- The wind is blowing.
- Out of yourarse.
You don't even have the imagination
to picture a fir cone. Bye!
Wait, young lady.
I wasn't focusing.
Take a deep breath.
Three...
two... one.
You feel the leaves
under your feet.
The more you relax,
the easier it gets to stay inside.
What does it smell like?
The tree sap is thick and sticky.
The camera and the tapes!
I smelled your tummy on the bus.
It stinks of rotten apples.
Why don't you throw yourself
under a train.
Hello?
Mr Adorn?
This is the caretaker.
There's a parcel
for you down here.
I'll bring it up for a beer.
Should I bring it up or not?
Over.
No, we thank you.
Over.
ADORN & CLONE
Mrs Schoch speaking.
I wanted to thank you
for the tapes.
The divorce has gone through.
I hope your boss is feeling better.
Goodbye, Mr Adorn.
We have the sheep
and are coming down.
She stole it from the children's zoo.
See you later.
You've got something
in your hair.
Harald was an honest employer
who stayed true to himself
and his employees until the end of his life.
May he rest in peace, amen.
First new message.
Hello, it's me again.
I wanted to apologise
for the phone terror.
I just wanted to talk a bit.
Take care of your cat.
It helps against melancholia.
Bye.
If you ask me,
I think we came too late.
A bottle of booze and
seven grams of tranquillisers.
She worked at the zoo.
They usually use this stuff
to put down gorillas and cats.
What will happen
to the iguana?
I'll probably have to deal with it.
Do you have a vacuum cleaner?
Cat?
Yum-yum.
Eat, eat!
Munch...
Excuse me...
Mr Adorn, what's the matter?
I just wanted to ask
what's going to happen to the iguana.
The one from the lady
from flat 146.
It's downstairs, in the basement.
The Salvation Army
doesn't want it.
Could you hold this?
Nobody got in touch.
No relatives, nothing.
Why are you asking?
Do you want to feed it?
You'd be welcome to do that.
You'd be doing me
a huge favour.
I'll bring it up in a minute,
including the feeding and watering plan...
No, you got the wrong end of the stick.
Please leave a message
after the tone.
If anyone's listening,
this is Adorn, flat 149.
I just wanted to inform you
that the reptile is in our care...
...for one or two days.
You don't even have the imagination
to picture a fir cone.
Moss.
It smells of moss, doesn't it?
The more you relax,
the easier it gets to stay inside.
Why don't you throw yourself
under a train.
Please leave a message after...
THANKS FOR WATERING
AND FEEDING.
"Thanks for watering
and feeding. "
YOU'RE ALIVE?
WHERE ARE YOU?
AT THE MORGUE,
WAITING FOR COFFIN.
"At the morgue, waiting for coffin. "
Behind the big spruce
is where I stand.
This phone- walking thing
was just a bad joke.
- Look for someone else.
- But I wanted to say...
I'm sorry.
The cat is feeling...
...better.
Can you feel him kicking?
He wants to get out.
It must be a bit lonely in there.
I'm getting cold, darling.
Can we go to your place, please?
I'd rather not, Kathrin.
We always meet outside.
Do you have something to hide?
What do you mean, "hide"?
You never take me to your place.
What do you mean, "hide"?
You never want to take me
to your place.
I thought, well...
as you don't want to go
to the forest...
I thought, well...
we could invite you here.
To the Adorn's.
Flat 149.
I'd prefer it
if the caretaker watered my plants.
It's easier,
if you close your eyes.
Three... two... one...
Let's go!
When you walk through the door,
after seven steps
you reach the living room.
The flat is about
three times the size of yours.
The curtains are brown,
matching the bottle-green
of the sofa.
And...
they smell of...
table-top grill.
We always have that
on New Year's Eve.
Take five steps back
and you're sitting
on the sofa.
It's a three-seater.
It sounds like walking on snow.
We used to go to the New Year's party
of the Detective Association.
There was always a raffle.
In 1989,
the main prize was a fridge.
That was the last time we went.
Why?
Three... two... one.
Hello?
There was an incident
during an assignment.
Afterwards, they were talking
behind our backs.
Some thought,
we should have intervened.
Why didn't you?
The baker bakes bread,
the fisherman catches fish,
and the investigator investigates.
But some investigators
also steal cats.
And sheep?
What are they good for?
Is the tour finished?
Or do you want to introduce me
to your vacuum cleaner?
At least 5,000 hours of film.
You're definitely a bit sick.
Aren't you?
May I ask in which institution
you are staying?
Hiking group 5, counting...
One...
Hiking group 5, counting...
One...
Two...
Hello.
Hello.
I have to admit,
your shithole is quite classy.
But I have to eat now.
IN THE COFFIN NOW.
GOOD NIGHT.
Everything that moves us,
is in our head.
It's within ourselves.
And that's what counts.
Vera.
Adorn...
Aloys Adorn.
Don't you have any milk?
There's magnesium inside.
Cat medicine cheers me up.
Where do you know this tune from?
Your father on the piano.
I've watched all the videos.
The one with the piano
is my favourite.
What's the matter?
He doesn't like it,
when I sit at the piano.
Let's play standing up then!
Come on!
Silence!
I want to sleep!
And why don't you learn
to play the piano?
I've invited him.
What?
We'll be with you in a second.
Shouldn't you be resting,
you seem so tipsy.
Tipsy?
I wanted to liven up this shithole,
so you don't suffocate
in your own dust.
Cheers!
OK, they can stay for a short while,
if they behave themselves.
I'll make an exception.
Black, white, white, black.
Vera, I'm lost.
Go to the radiator.
- And what now?
- Spread your toes,
and clutch the radiator.
And what now?
That's out of the question!
Hello, everybody.
Welcome to my shithole.
I already know some of you...
by sight.
I film how you eat, how you sleep,
how you're awake...
how you cook spaghetti,
kiss, sing, make love,
ride on the bus, get married.
That's my job.
At home I watch it all again.
And again and again.
That's my hobby.
Like a big party...
outside your window.
But you're not invited.
How do you mean?
Never mind.
Today is a special party.
And we're invited too,
as far as I know.
The dance floor is open!
To go?
To eat here.
Two portions, please.
Yum, the Chinese
are truly sophisticated cooks!
And Lee's dancing steps yesterday...
meticulous.
Do the people know
what happened?
Stop it!
I meant,
what happened to me?
Do people know
what happened to me?
They're just talking,
they're bored.
Does it bother you?
I don't care
what the neighbours think of me.
Hello, Mr Detective.
I like the gap
between your teeth.
Is it true that you
regularly call a sex line,
since your father died?
- What?
- I don't have a gap between my teeth.
You only saw me
when the ambulance arrived.
- And I didn't smile then, did I?
- Mr Detective...
Are you bored?
Hiking group 5.
Counting...
I thought we could go
to the big zoo,
where you worked.
You'll have to go on your own.
How come?
I can no longer
show my face there.
Dear animal lovers,
welcome to our exclusive audio tour
through the zoo.
The second largest one
with the bright shell...
Can you see her?
Yes, I do.
That's Nigrita.
She's 75.
She was single for 20 years.
Living alone in her cage.
Imagine that.
20 years...
...in solitary confinement.
But she endured.
Without complaining.
No antidepressants, nothing.
And then Jumbo turned up.
You can't miss him.
Can you see the marks
on her shell?
Yes, I do.
That's from fucking
all the time.
The female is underneath
and Jumbo is very heavy.
- They seem to be happy.
- Yes.
What's the matter?
Nothing.
The one with the white spot
on her snout...
...that's Farah.
Farah believes
she's still in the Atlantic...
...and always swims into the glass.
She forgets it every time.
She swims back...
...and tries to remember.
You're no longer
in the Atlantic, Farah.
You're no longer
in the Atlantic, Farah.
You're no longer in the Atlantic.
You're no longer, no longer...
Bang!
Luckily, she's so forgetful.
Now I've ruined it.
What do you mean?
It gets too personal for you.
You prefer it,
when I play the piano.
Vera?
Vera?
Vera!
- Vera, now..
- What?
What's the matter with you, Vera?
That's the best question
you've asked so far.
But the answer won't fit
through the phone.
I'll hang up now.
- Vera?
- This is our last phone call.
Enjoy it.
I'm on my way back now.
Have you heard me?
Back where?
Well, back to you!
No, not back to me.
You're going to her.
I don't know who she is.
She has my voice and
a gap between her teeth.
That's all I know about her.
Our voices generate an image.
Our words set it in motion.
Whatever we imagine, Vera...
What remains, is the essence.
- No, Aloys.
- That's what you said.
What's this damned
essence then, Adorn?
I know exactly
how you felt at the time.
When?
When you...
When you tried
to kill yourself.
No, Aloys, you can't.
Do you know why?
Because you don't have a life
that could be taken away.
Aloys?
Hello?
We have guests at the moment.
We thank you.
Do you know what?
That party outside,
where I'm not invited...
I don't want to be invited.
It's not worth it.
I've been observing it
for long enough.
Every party
must come to an end,
and left behind...
are lonely people,
who then go to the next party.
And to the next one.
Each time a bit lonelier.
I'd rather stay here.
We don't need this bed anymore.
Well, he doesn't.
Yes...
C'est la vie,
as he used to say.
Everything still works.
Fully functional.
Yes.
And a good day to you too.
Hello?
We should go for a walk...
...but without the phone.
You don't want to.
What do you mean?
You don't want to see me.
But I do see you.
Aloys?
Aloys, are you there?
Aloys, I know you're there.
Vera?
Aloys?
- Vera?
- I need to go back to the clinic.
I'm leaving.
Vera?
Vera?
Vera!
Vera!
Please leave a message
after the tone.
That's not polite.
You should leave a message.
Every party comes to an end,
and left behind
are lonely people.
Lonely people.
I'm sorry.
Good night, young man.
Where's room 402?
Good morning.