Painting the mat, eh?
You were told to wash it.
- It's nice this way, sir.
- It'll crack.
So we'll paint it again.
Pardon me, the iron,
but that's it.
Captain!
Saturday we go to sea.
They've called from the HQ.
Sorry, dear Katyusha.
Where's my cap?
In the water, Captain.
Catch my cap, everybody!
- Yes, sir!
- Mukhambetov, take the hook!
Mukhambetov,
don't fall into the water.
Don't stare!
The circus is gone!
72 METRES
The crew, walk on!
One, two, three!
Orchestra!
'Slav Girl Farewell! '
The crew! Emergency dive!
- Where is our boat?
- We'll dive without one.
Reveille!
What?
Can any of you
interpret dreams?
SLAV GIRL
Who is crawling down there?
Unless our navigator is here
at eight,
I'll turn his furry side in,
same to others!
Got it.
Wait.
Unless our navigator
is here at eight,
Yanychar
will turn his furry side in,
same to others. Find him!
'Young to Poupyr:
Rap will prevail!
'Hi, Poupyr!
Here I work my guts out,
'so I decided to hit
the bottom for half an hour.'
Fresher!
'We have all sorts here,
'including
the Kuldiukis twins.
'They listen to pop-singers
and every now and then
'they knock each other's
thinkers.
'What about you, people?
We go to sea soon.
Come here!
'My love to Chick, Chance, Bucks,
Kostya, Barry Sisters... '
- You know our navigator?
- A cheerful one?
Way too cheerful. Run to
the hostel, room 22.
Unless he is back here
at eight, Yanychar
gonna turn his furry side in,
same to all of us. Clear?
- On the double!
- Yes, sir!
What is this?
A fish, comrade captain.
Obviously not a scorpion.
What is it?
Gas analyzer.
This fish is very
oxygen sensitive.
Don't you trust your
instruments?
They're not so reliable
as nature.
I need an expert in chemistry,
not in... husbandry.
Young warrant officer
is a shellfish
without a shell.
He either dies
or grows a shell.
I'll teach you to crawl!
'The word 'crawl'
is very popular here.
'It means... next to everything.
'Tell Cucumber he's not a rapper
but a jerk.'
Here sailors are trained
how to leave submarine
through torpedo units...
Will he squeeze in?
You will, if you want
to live.
Will he go up same as torpedo?
I'm afraid, the charge
is different.
Scuba diver catches
a buoy rope
and uses moussings...
What is moussings?
What?
Moussings are special knots
on the rope.
Just knots?
It is not that simple.
A diver catches these moussings,
and moves up like a pregnant
cuttlefish on thin ice.
- Moving slowly.
- Slowly?
Otherwise - caisson disease.
Warrant officer Mikhailov!
Keep on with the excursion:
I've many other things
to attend.
- My apologies.
- No, apologies are mine.
Thanks a lot!
Chernenko.
Warrant officer Mikhailov.
Krauz... has some German roots?
As German as one can be.
A typical Russian naval officer.
Officers' hostel
- Cruising for bruising?
- Hi.
- Is captain Orlov here?
- Celebrates his birthday.
- Today's his birthday?
- For 2 weeks on end.
Where can he be?
It's time he settled down
in a guardroom. Got it?
- Yes.
- So relax and chew sawdust!
Yes!
- Did I give it to you already?
- What?
AS1, antistressant. One
pill two times a day.
What about two pills?
- Possible, but not advisable.
- What about three pills?
Possible, but
strongly unadvisable.
Pump in water!
- Fancy for earrings?
- What?
Golden earrings with
embedded rubies.
They are nice.
Selling them for a song.
No?
Guardhouse
We may go free,
great people.
- What is this stinkaroo?
- It's rap.
Music is crummy, but I like
the words:
'We are made of special stuff.
It's about us, submarine guys.
Unless you are back by
the flag hoisting,
the captain will turn your
furry side in,
same for the rest of us.
- Throw it on the junk.
- Why?
You go for the mission -your
battery goes dead.
This is real watch!
A German trophy.
My grandpa confiscated it
from a German officer.
You say 'furry side in'?
Gena can do it...
Legkostupov! The meaning
of your name is
'airy, fluent'.
Why did you spell 'frock'
like 'frog',
greatcoat like 'greetcoat'...
Are you kidding?
There are words in Russian
language, many words.
You put them together
and make sentences
with a subject, a predicate
and the rest.
And all this is the great
Russian language!
Understand?
Yes, captain!
So: The Russian language
is great.
Make predicate and subject
trade places -
you get intonation...
or 'bitterly our mother cries'.
Understand? This is poetry!
It's epos, mother's beaver!
And there are one-word
sentences:
Raining. Snowing. Dusking...
- You see?
- Yes, captain!
When I read
what you've written,
my most private areas
start itching.
One may break his cock
from reading this.
I'd treat your teacher like
our doggy tore my slipper!
- I was taught in my school.
- Sure thing.
I wish they were as clear...
Gennady...
SLAV GIRL
At ease!
Katyusha, what happened?
I've bought potatoes.
You have forgotten
your mug.
Thanks.
'People can't see there exist
some lofty things.
'All those sects, communists,
fascists:
'They try to wash our brains
with their manifestos.
'But they don't know we are
made of different stuff.'
- I can manage myself.
- Sure, you're a grown-up.
You're full of mischief,
Gena. What a person!
I mean the way you behave.
- Where are you from?
- SM.
Space Medicine Institute.
- Space?
- Exactly.
But since they wrap up
space programs,
I was sent to your submarine.
All right. There are no outsiders
in our boat.
So, root yourself in, as
our commander says.
But I have my research
program to attend.
You know,
your program is fine...
- Are you a doctor?
- In a way...
So, it is your line...
It's like this...
We have been sent from Norway,
as a lend-lease aid, you know,
a batch of latex girls.
You know, inflated
rubber girls...
It is strong latex.
3 mm, the average size.
- For what?
- Not for what, but for whom.
for the captain and
for the mate.
But keep it under the hat,
since the batch is small
The crew somehow manages,
but these guys...
- Are you kidding?
- Not at all.
They've no you-know-what
for 6 months on end.
- So you have to receive them.
- Where shall I receive them?
At the storage facility.
I'll show you the way.
Are you from the 'Slav Girl' too?
- That's right.
- Never seen you.
- Which cell?
- Machine cell.
That's why you smell
of solar oil.
- Your name?
- My name?
- Yes, your name.
- Fresher.
- Not an old-timer, sure.
- No, that's my name.
- Bad name.
- Why?
A not-by-the-book name.
It'll do during your first year,
But then you'll be made a laughing
stock. It'll be hell for you.
- Now we'll surely be late.
- Never.
- He's one of our crew.
- That's right.
- 1st cell commander.
- So, hop into the car.
- On the double!
- What about you?
I prefer cars
with an air conditioner
and a safety bag.
- Follow order!
- Yes, sir!
- Good afternoon, sir.
- Get in.
The crew, dress!
Attention!
Thanks, Mitrich!
The crew of 'Slav Girl'
Submarine
is ready for exercises.
Everybody is present
but the commander
of cell 1.
Lieutenant Orlov.
At ease.
At ease!
Good afternoon,
comrade captain!
Same to you.
So, have you been
debriefed already?
Yes, but there is
a little predicament.
What predicament?
- Women...
- What women?
From Norway. Lend-leased
latex girls.
for you and for the mate.
They say they've run out
of them.
Well, my dear busters,
Won't I pepper your asses!
Comrade captain,
Lieutenant Orlov
reporting!
So, you're in time,
my dovey.
Well, guys, God be with us!
Hold your positions, unhook
from moorings!
Hold your positions, unhook
from moorings!
Get down!
Stand by for diving!
A woman onboard is a bad sign.
- Look who is talking.
- Don't get pissed off.
I'll introduce you to
a nice broad when we're back.
Depth 40 meters with 5 degrees
different to the bow.
Take the main ballast. 12 knots.
1 meter...
9 meters.
5 degrees different.
10 meters...
Comrade rear admiral,
captain on duty Ershov reporting.
- Captain, what is the search zone?
- Search zone is 270-090.
They admire atomic ice
breakers,
but I'll tell you...
Careful, your head!
Certain tactical tasks
can be only resolved
by our 'Swallow' submarines.
Load oranges by the cratefuls.
This is our mess-room.
We eat here in three shifts.
8 or 9 persons.
We have even bought
an aquarium.
The 1st class
compartment doors.
May I.
Indeed.
- Easy, easy.
- Don't be afraid.
Is it allowed to drink vodka?
Vodka? No.
It's salty water.
His first diving.
It's initiation.
Bottoms up!
Good. You will never
forget this day.
Yes, I'll be remembering
this day
until... all my life.
- May I?
- 'Allow me, sir.'
Allow me, sir... too.
Go for it.
I had a dream since
I was a boy.
Now it is coming true...
I am becoming a sailor.
- A submariner.
- A sailor. A submariner.
If you were born by the sea,
Its beauty
you will always praise:
White masts that loom
At the mooring
And distant towns in a haze.
Southern nights dear for me.
The bluest sea in the world,
Oh my Black Sea,
my Black Sea.
What about these ones?
Baby-dolls, unveil your faces.
Peter, come over here.
- Sixteen.
- Take the change.
Hey, Ivan.
I bet she's gonna be
my wife.
- Hello.
- Who are you?
Lieutenant Peter Orlov!
- What about you?
- I am Nelly.
Great.
What are you reading, Nelly?
- Take a guess.
- I will.
'Longren, a sailor from Orion,
a 300 tons strong brig,
'where he had served for 10 years
'and which he loved like
it were his mother,
'at last had to resign... '
It's either Maxim Gorky
or early Tolstoy.
- Alexander Green. 'Crimson Sails'.
- Anyone down there?
Nobody! Miss, wait! Miss,
will you marry me?
Let go!
Let go!
- Nelly...
- Let go, Ivan.
Vanya...
Ivan.
Comrades submariners,
our mission is to destroy
a flagship
of a maneuver enemy.
Than to dodge the chase
and remain unnoticed
for 24 hours.
Hopefully, our crew will
show its combatant valour,
accomplish the mission
and prove it's not for nothing
they call our submarines
'black holes'.
Excuse me,
why 'black hole'?
'Black hole'?
- That's simple.
- But no jokes, please.
It's practically impossible
to hear our submarine
at low revolutions. We move
stealthily,
like in a joke: We'll go down
from the mountains...
Sound of propellers,
bearing 270 degrees.
The target is nearing.
Battle alarm!
Torpedo attack!
Attacking surface target!
Deep water shooting with
self-guided torpedoes!
Prepare for shooting
pieces 1 and 2.
- Cell 6 ready.
- Cell 5 ready.
- Cell 4 ready.
- Cell 3 ready.
- Cell 2 is ready.
- Cell 1 is ready.
Central cell standing by.
Torpedoes are ready
for shooting.
- Submarine is ready for battle.
- Acoustic, navigator, bios...
...stopwatches - stand by!
Zero.
Target 1. Make the first
measurement.
Average data:
Heading 48, speed 20,
distance 740 m.
Heading 50.
Speed 20.
Average elements of movement
approved,
enter data into bios
Depth 40, different zero.
- The first is ready.
- Get prepared!
Yes, sir!
Fire.
Torpedoes are out.
Warheads in place.
Target 1 - noise level
unchanged.
Torpedo timing is 60 seconds.
Torpedo timing is 93 seconds.
Noise of torpedo
and target merged.
Comrades submariners!
Torpedo shooting is accomplished.
I thank the crew
for evincing marine skill.
Start dodging.
Heading 200, average speed.
We've done it.
No way they'll find us now,
mother's beaver.
Attention!
Now a birdie...
will fly out!
I'm conducting a research.
- What?
- A research.
Why bother me when
I'm off duty?
Can't I have a break
and read the Regulations?
Nelly and I are getting
married.
I will tell you one thing
and you will change your mind.
- Say it.
- She loves me.
But I will be the father
of her children.
- How many?
- At least three.
I have never thought
one can lose a friend
over a broad.
Broads are many, and you've
only one friend.
She's also only one.
Never mind I'm so lean.
I've strong lungs.
I'll blow the balloon
till it explodes.
- Yes?
- Yes.
In this case - good bye.
Now you hit me.
Come on!
- Come on!
- Who are you?
Why should I hit you?
Me?
I am Peter Orlov, your friend.
I've no friends. I've never
heard about no Peter Orlov.
I am very sorry.
Why the ice?
Otherwise it may boil.
Sometimes it is too hot here.
- Do you change the water?
- Sure thing.
She is a full-scale
crew member.
I know drinking water is scarce
at submarines.
So, she's a full-scale
crew member
and lives in the sea water.
Silence mode...
Hush.
Knocking sound on the port side,
captain.
What kind of sound?
Can't say for sure.
Look around in the cells.
Cell 7 checked, no problems.
Cell 6 checked, no problems.
All cells checked, Captain.
All seems normal,
comrade captain.
Comrades officers,
Raise your glasses,
feather oars!
To the newly weds!
To the newly weds!
I'd hit some vodka now.
A groom shouldn't drink
at his wedding.
I am not Ivan, but Peter.
Kiss the bride!
One, two, three...
Eleven! Twelve!
Thirteen!
Be happy!
Katya...
Emergency alarm.
What made you afraid?
Everything is all right.
Come. You just saw
a bad dream...
Everything is just fine...
Water. Why water?
It's a disaster, captain,
we have sunk.
- What disaster?
- Something exploded.
- What exploded?
- A mine.
- I heard it's a mine.
- Heard from whom?
I don't know. Just heard them
shouting.
- Are we going to die?
- Sure, but not now,
in a hundred years,
when we're old geezers.
Now look here, Fresher.
I go first, you follow me
in two seconds.
One...
Two...
Hey, 'Slavs'!
Is anybody there?
Turn it off, you jerk!
Shut up and lighten
yourself.
- O-o, it's you.
- It's me. Chernenko.
Give it to me.
He was giving us pills.
Antistressant. Keeps
your spirits higher...
Really? Not lower?
No, higher!
Confirmed by clinic tests.
Are you wailing after
taking a too many of your pills?
I'm not wailing.
I'm singing.
- Singing what?
- A song.
I always sing,
when it is... spooky.
You sing again - I'll bust
your singing piece in. Clear?
It is waterproof.
I specially bought it.
Can you explain to me
what happened?
Why should I?
Dive!
It's not a real crash, okay?
It's a make-believe alarm.
- Make-believe?
- Sure thing.
Make-believe sinking.
- Make-believe?
- Yeah, it's maneuvers.
It's sham sinking
after being chased by
a sham enemy ship.
- Sham sinking?
- All things sham in the navy,
except eating.
'Slav Girl' is missing.
It's Yanychar, I'm not
surprised.
But the exercise time
is over.
Gena knows no standards.
He accomplished his mission
to remain unnoticed.
And again he has broken
the rules.
- What about the brass?
- They think hard.
We had graduated from
the same school.
Back then he was a legend
already.
This Yanychar of yours
is a miscreant.
If I had my way with him...
Nobody can have
his way with Gena.
Can you dive without
our help?
I did some diving in Turkey
and passed instructions here.
Dont jerk with your legs too
much in the water.
Next diver's head is right
behind you.
- Where are we going now?
- To the mess-room.
Maybe there is another
scholar guy stuck there.
What's wrong with you?
Calm down.
Let us read something.
What haven't we read?
'She felt no fear,
'she knew that nothing bad
could happen to him.
'Assol was still
the same little girl
'who had her own way
of praying.'
Mama, read louder, I do not
sleep anyway,
and Gena is a sound sleeper.
I will stay with him.
- What do you mean?
- You know what I mean.
Fresher!
I thought that was the end.
I got cramps in my leg.
- Where is Fresher?
- We were hit by a strong wave!
Have you been conceived
by a flaccid prick, scholar?
Didn't I tell you:
No jerking with your legs.
Fresher, are you okay?
- I'm fine.
- Never mind.
We'll shall yet break-dance
with you.
'We're made of different stuff,
right?
Some scholar.
The road between Moscow and
Leningrad is lousy with them.
I know why you elbowed your
way to the submarine.
I know your kind.
You wanted triple salary, right?
You, scorpion.
You shouldn't have said this.
You don't know a thing
about me.
- Nor do I want to.
- But your status...
- Status of a soldier?
- I do not think it's funny.
You're right, status of
a defender of my country.
But whom should I defend here?
Myself.
- Your self?
- Myself.
Explain to me:
Why the heck I should
defend you?
Because you have your straps,
and I haven't.
So what?
It is your duty to defend
citizens of your country.
Whether you like them or not.
- Is it clear now?
- Clear.
Aren't you a Ukrainian
guy by any chance?
I'm Russian. Why?
We had a guy named Chan -
also a Russian.
But he turned out to be
a Ukrainian, an ex-politician.
Comrades submariners!
Today we may at last say
that our cherished dream
came true.
Now we, citizens of
the free Ukraine,
possess the sea, the sun
and this sacred land.
We are no longer
somebody else's granary
feeding our hungry
and lazy big brother,
who is fond of drinking
into the bargain.
After some time our country
will become like Slavic
France or Canada.
Where is Ivan?
Nelly is in heavy
labours.
Today we are all to face
heavy labours.
Captain Ivanov!
- Yes, sir!
- You, pubic bone...
I join the military
and pledge solemnly
to the Ukrainian people
to be a loyal and faithful
officer,
to protect Ukraine,
its sovereignty...
To abide in good faith
Ukraine's Constitution
and its laws,
to keep the state
and military secrets.
I pledge to perform my duties
in the interests of
my compatriots,
never to betray
the Ukrainian people.
Captain Konovalenko!
After Ivanov you,
Konovalenko, have no choice.
Olga won't forgive you.
Captain Konovalenko!
Mikola, you promised to your
wife and in-laws.
They are not here now.
You have your house and
garden here.
You prefer naked sands and
polar night
and rachitis for your kids?
Those willing to take a pledge
to Ukraine...
two steps forward.
The others follow me!
Yanychar, wait!
Hold your
people! It is an order!
You darned condom.
Orchestra!
Orchestra!
- 'Slav Girl Farewell'!
- Yes, sir!
The crew, march on!
I got frightened!
This is a pretty sham sinking!
I thought they were alive,
but they were all dead!
Shut up!
Why didn't you tell me the truth?
Where's the commander?
- Commander.
- You didn't tell me the truth!
You need the truth?
All right.
The third cell is flooded,
same as the second one.
If the first one is flooded
too,
we are the only survivors.
And our turn will also
come soon...
You know:
'The world paid so little
attention to him
'that he considered
himself a dead man'.
What?
What are you going to do?
Will you bring here some light.
Give me a hand.
- Comrade captain...
- Here.
Wind gets stronger,
20 meters per second.
Turbulence 5 points. Visibility
reduced down to 5,5 km.
Continue the search
in the defined area.
Start sending signals in keeping
with the instructions.
Mukhambetov.
Have you taken the pliers?
What do you mean: 'where'?
In our language
it means 'yes'.
Roman cleans the debris,
Put the hardware on torpedoes.
Deryugin, how are you?
Those rooting for 'Spartak'
are never stuck.
'Spartak' is the champion!
We are all champions here.
- Let it be light!
- Mukhambetov, you are the best.
I wonder, Ivan Alekseevich,
the boat is a mess, but
the eggs are intact.
They lie quietly
in their cells.
An egg is
the nature's mystery.
- The partition door is locked!
- Have you tried to open it?
I have. They did not let me
turn the rack gear.
- Have you knocked?
- Yes.
- So?
- They knocked me back.
Rap shall win!
- How many breathers do we have?
- Twelve.
- Twelve?
- Exactly.
Let us try it again:
You go first and I follow you.
Or vice versa.
We may knock, but I think
they will not let us in.
Why not?
By the Book, they've no right
to let us in.
I wonder why?
Because it is prohibited by SI!
Attention, I'm commander
of cell 3.
If you hear me, answer.
I repeat:
If you hear me, answer.
We hear you very well.
We hear you very well.
I am sailor Fresher.
It may be one-way
Communication.
If you hear me - give a knock.
How many of you are there?
Two, it seems.
Or he surfaced to get some air.
You have so many abbreviations:
HPA.
High pressure air.
- And SI?
- What do you need it for?
You never know.
Survival Instructions read:
No letting in.
- Categorically.
- Of course it's a risk, but...
We may all get drowned here.
Ten is better than two.
Nikolai,
suppose it was you
behind the partition?
I wouldn't knock
in their place.
Attention!
We're getting ready
to let you in. Clear?
At first we give you HPA.
By this time the door to cell 3
should be open. Clear?
Watch the level to be reduced.
On reaching the third cell,
batten yourselves down,
give us a knock and
stand by.
Clear?
Give HPA!
Align pressure
between the cells.
Legkostupov, be careful!
I hope you all know
how to blow the air?
Fresher!
Quickly to the partition door.
When the level
reduces, batten yourself down.
- In 1986 boat 320...
- I remember.
An 0.5 difference smashed
3 people against the wall.
Pressure in cells
reached seven point five.
Ready?
I count to three.
On three we open the door.
One,
two,
three!
'In this respect Assol
'was the same little girl
'who would every morning
whisper:
'Good morning, God! ' and
'Good night, God! '
'In her mind this little was
enough
'for the God to keep away
all her misfortunes.
'She knew that God was busy
with other mins of people
'and minor shadows of life
'she should take
patiently... '
A child was born and made
his first step,
and his first words were 'Spartak'
'Spartak' is the best.
I root for 'Locomotive'.
We'll make you warm
and reform you.
The song makes things prosper.
All in your cell safe?
I battened down in time.
I was dead asleep and woke up
right in the water.
- Seen anybody?
- Yes.
Gena?
I came on behalf
of the Commander.
It's not even me,
it is the baby who gets nervous.
And you left him behind?
No, he is here with me.
Usually he is quiet,
but today...
I even read a book to him...
- Did it help?
- For a while.
You know... They'll give you
a lift now
and then you'll go to sleep,
...sleep like an angel.
- Like an angel?
Yes. Because exercises
proceed as planned,
there is a contact
with the submarine.
Your husband has successfully
completed shooting...
Shooting...
I may send him your love
during next contact.
There is no need to do this.
It's not me, it's the baby
who gets nervous.
I see...
Now you've a sin on your soul.
You wanted me
to tell her the truth?
Wait a second.
I know where to look for them.
Have you sent our coordinates
to the HQ?
The emergency buoy
has been torn away by the storm.
We can't radio them
from underwater.
We have to surface.
Or at least to near the surface.
Which we can't do.
We can only... knock.
But we have to do something!
Do I irritate you?
Me? No.
Thanks.
Because even taxi drivers
stop talking to me
after a while.
- May I?
- Why not.
- Don't be too gluttonous.
- Yes.
Tomorrow we'll be leaving
through torpedo sections.
- Tomorrow?
- Tomorrow.
- We'll be using moustings.
- Moussings, you shitty scholar!
Treat yourself,
Captain.
Comrade Commander, may I?
I have known Yanychar
since military school.
Speak to the point.
I am sure: Despite
his mischief
he would never leave
the assigned area...
Evidently the submarine was
moved away by underwater currents.
He should be somewhere here.
- Are you sure?
- Yes.
72 meters.
Not far away from home.
Comrade commander,
there are 12 breathers,
and we are 13.
Does it mean
that someone stays behind?
I even know who stays behind.
Me?
Everybody rests.
Wake up time at six a.m.
Who is to be the thirteenth
one?
- Haven't yet decided.
- Let it be me.
Why?
It all happened
because of me.
Not because of me personally,
because of this watch.
Your granddad gave it to you
before his death:
You said you wanted to become
a submariner.
- I've heard this story.
- Not exactly.
When I told him
I wanted to be a submariner,
he said: 'No way!
'And no watch for you! '
And he died after that.
He was a very obnoxious person.
- He did not like submariners?
- He hated them.
His girlfriend had walked out
on him with a submariner.
So when he was lying
in the coffin, I just...
- Lifted the watch?
- He did not need it anyway.
He was dead already!
What a man! You're still
full of surprises.
So it is all because of me.
- Why?
- Can't you see?
My granddad went to war
in this area,
he set mines.
So it was his mine!
- His mine?
- He has taken revenge on me!
Because of the watch!
Now is it clear?
Yes. Go to sleep.
Chernenko, what kind
of a song do you sing
when you feel afraid?
My mother's.
Sing it now.
I can't go to sleep.
- Will you?
- Oh, no.
Don't be too proud...
See, you have a mother. You
said you were lonely.
My mother is dead.
I am sorry.
Comrade commander!
Tell us some story. You have
a way of telling funny stories.
A screamer, eh. Just the right
time for funny stories.
OK, you deserve it.
I'll tell you a fairy tale.
Not about a cockerel,
but about a cow.
This was not long ago,
but long ago, it seems.
Our army seemed to be
almost done for.
And it still seems
almost done for.
Some army: People were afraid
to wear uniforms.
They'd steal and trade
everything,
from old underwear
to secret torpedoes,
at the same price, mind you.
Officers became bandits,
bankers, politicians.
But only two or three persons
had left Gena...
So to survive through the winter
we went to a collective farm
to dig some potatoes.
Comrade commander,
they've brought empty sacks.
I say, empty sacks...
I and Gena doubled in
at an old lady's.
And her cow was even older,
nobody milked it
for a hundred years,
so the old lady decided
to have it slaughtered.
Somehow our citizens
are convinced
that a Russian mariner
may slaughter anybody,
even a cow.
I'll fry some liver for you
and make steaks. Only slaughter
my beloved cow, pretty please.
Granny Manya, how can I ever
do it?
I am a submariner.
I had no wish
to slaughter her beloved cow.
I am fond of animals
since childhood.
Please, do it, my dear.
- Will you offer me a bottle?
- Two bottles!
Today they paid my daughter
with pepper vodka.
Well...
'Bandmaster'.
- What?
- I found a concertina.
Take it. You are welcome.
We had a miner, his name was...
never mind his name...
He'd slaughter
his own brother,
let alone a cow,
for a bottle,
Very well.
So I went to look for him,
but he was nowhere to be found.
So I went to Gena...
- Will she give us vodka?
- Two bottles!
We'll do this!
- The cow has a heart...
- on the left side...
On the left side.
If we put her
on her hind legs,
it will be on the left side...
But also the cow has horns.
Too bad.
Yes.
How about cracking a bottle
first?
Comrade captain.
You were looking for me?
A problem with a cow?
- Comrade captain, may I?
- Go ahead.
There is another way
of killing it. A secret weapon.
Explosion... No...
Guided action.
Here it is...
The newest development.
It all depends on where
you place the charge.
If you place it
under the cow's tail,
it will be cut
into two equal parts.
If you fix it to her horns,
the explosion will be as strong
as a hammer blow
from the local smith.
To the horns!
A bit to the right.
Not to hurt her eyes.
Everything will be all right,
commander.
I was right: The submarine was
not on a firm ground.
Is it on a firm ground now?
Now it is.
I nearly had a yellow streak.
Me, too.
So after this story
the cow started giving milk.
I bit my tongue.
We hit the bottom,
but we are together,
and Spartak is the best!
Spartak is the best!
Golden fish, keep us all
alive...
I am not afraid, not at all.
Maybe a little bit.
Board 26! Here is the principal
direction of the search.
The sector 90 - 090...
We are going out by threes.
The first and the last will
be the most experienced ones.
I will stay in.
When you all surface,
captain Orlov
will go back here
with a breather,
and we go up together...
Captain,
what about your diving suit?
- No more questions.
- Yes, sir.
Comrade captain,
my breather is defective.
Same with mine.
And with mine, too.
Krauz, you were in charge
of breathers, weren't you?
Yes.
Have you checked them?
Have they been in order?
Don't you have anything
to tell us?
I report:
I had no time to sell this,
I should have left them
with my daughter.
My wife said:
Wear them yourself, Hans.
I promised, when our daughter was
born... with rubies.
Unpaid debts - is a bad sign.
I shouldn't have taken them along.
- Tie him up!
- With what?
Gimme the scarf.
Don't.
Don't humiliate me, Peter.
Why, Nikolai?
Nikolai!
A knuckle sandwich will
tell him about discipline.
Lieutenant Orlov!
Discipline goes as follows:
You are the last sailor
in my cell!
The last sailor?
Do you know who is to be
the last but one?
So, brothers,
you have blown it!
- You were receiving the breathers?
- Lieutenant Orlov!
Stop it!
- Restore power supply.
- Yes.
Mukhambetov! Follow me
with the instruments!
Playing dolls with them?
Hit them in the mugs!
Better late, than never.
- Say it!
- We were standing...
- Go on!
- Then he came up and said:
'Let's go and receive breathers.'
We took a truck
and set off.
We would stop every
now and then.
Why? What for?
When Krauz saw someone
passing by
he would tell the driver
to stop and he'd go out.
Then he went out
and ordered us to go
and get the breathers.
Get the breathers. Go!
Yes, sir!
- He tried to sell earrings.
- You know, captain...
Krauz's wife two-times him
with a kiosk guy,
because he has heaps of money,
and a sailor has empty pockets,
although he has ten autonomous
missions to his credit.
Krauz loves his wife,
and they have a daughter...
So he started borrowing money
to buy earrings,
to keep his promise.
And the bitch
wouldn't accept them.
- How do you know this?
- After a hearty drink...
You drink with someone,
he opens his heart to you.
Though, there is a risk
of opening your own heart.
I see.
So, you received the breathers?
Did you check them?
We were told: 'The breathers
are fresh from the plant.'
We said: We have to check them.
They said: Check any one
at random.
- And the truck was honking.
- Have you checked them?
- Only one.
- Was it charged?
Yes...
Nelly, I propose to you,
from my very heart.
Hey, Romeo, 'twas not
in the deal.
- You'll break your neck.
- Don't worry.
Pick up your stuff.
I've come for you.
Vanya and I are getting
married.
I know that you love 'me'.
Not him, but me.
Vanya and I are getting married.
Nonsense!
We'll rectify it right now.
Hold it!
- Peter.
- Shit!
Peter!
- Lieutenant Orlov!
- Here!
- Come to me.
- Yes, sir!
We'll come back
and get repaired.
- Take a seat.
- Yes, sir!
Whom, in your opinion,
shall we send?
A sailor is no advisor
to a captain.
Sorry I hurt your feelings.
I lost my nerve.
We need someone
physically strong,
a good swimmer and diver,
an experienced person.
And a person
of moral integrity.
I know such a person.
Captain Ivan Muraviev.
I wanted to take your advice...
No, Ivan,
it wants not moral integrity:
It wants a lucky guy.
Actually,
everybody here is lucky,
unlucky ones are left
behind the partition door...
- How about casting a lot?
- Cards may be a better option.
Let's play 'fool'.
A 'fool' will go...
- With straps.
- Everyone here is with straps.
But one...
'Young to Poupyr. P.S.
'Which in Greek
means 'see below'.
'Yesterday I drank the sea water.
That's something!
'Something you will never
forget... '
'I'll come back
and tell you... '
Comrades... Officers...
Brothers...
I have so much to tell you...
Words fail me.
I have words,
but they are not proper.
I thought real heroes
never existed, they were
just made up by people.
But you are real heroes,
you are real Russian sailors.
Forgive me for thinking ill
about you
once in a while...
Forgive me, that it is me
who is going, and not...
Forgive me if you can.
I will do my best
I will do my best to...
You asked me to sing a song,
but it is a Ukrainian song.
So you're Ukrainian!
I knew just as well!
And you said
it was of no importance.
My mother was Ukrainian,
my father no one knows who.
So, you asked me...
This is a 3 mm latex for you.
Comrade captain,
may he take my cap,
for extra warmth.
God be with you.
Bend your head.
Comrade captain,
may I write a note?
To be ashamed of it later?
No notes!
Sit down. We need to remove
air from the diving-suit.
Otherwise you will hit
the surface like a cork.
Breathe quietly, slowly, okay?
With this you click onto moussings.
And exhale 14 times.
Then you move up till
the next moussing, okay?
Don't be rush.
You crawl up and push the buoy
in front of you.
As soon as you reach
the front lid,
knock with this clevis.
One knock -you're fine,
two knocks: We let in sea
water and align pressure.
Three knocks: We open
the front lid.
As soon as you are out,
fix the clevis to a hook
on the left side of the hull.
An eye-hole-like hook...
A hook like this...
Don't forget to fasten it,
or else you and us... Understand?
When you reach the surface,
quickly move this thing
to the atmospheric breathing.
And yell at the top
of your lungs,
to get rid of nitrogen
in your blood.
Otherwise it will be
caisson disease for you.
Don't remove your
hydro-suit on the shore,
it will be heavy,
at least you will not freez,
Take care of the breather
while crawling along the pipe.
Then keep on running,
like a sprinting hippo...
You climb the hill and
you'll see the town below:
Traffic lights, the curb...
You'll walk along the curb
And you'll see a woman...
A woman, and another woman.
Oh yeah!
Do it.
You may go free,
great people.
Oxygen left
for 12 more hours.
Hey, Fresher.
Fancy for an orange?
I know this trick.
Then you'll say:
No oranges.
You're wrong.
Presto!
Help yourself, sir.
Ticking on.
I've never thought
how great life is.
Nikolai, how are you?
I want to go to Venice.
It's where Othello strangled
his Desdemona.
Great for you.
We'll go sight seeing.
Only he strangled her
in Cyprus.
What a shame.
'Cause I want to go to Venice...